The Hard Skills

Tuesday, May 14, 2024
Facebook Live Video from 2024/05/14 - Client Q&A: When and How to Say No, Mange Up, Adjust Work Relationships, & Future-Proof Your Career

Facebook Live Video from 2024/05/14 - Client Q&A: When and How to Say No, Mange Up, Adjust Work Relationships, & Future-Proof Your Career


2024/05/14 - Client Q&A: When and How to Say No, Mange Up, Adjust Work Relationships, & Future-Proof Your Career

[NEW EPISODE] Client Q&A: When and How to Say No, Manage Up, Adjust Work Relationships, & Future-Proof Your Career

Tuesdays 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EDT)                              


If you are a high-achieving, goal-oriented, socially conscious person who has found themselves spinning in some weird toxic waters at work, or simply wondering how to avoid getting sucked up into it, this might be the episode for you. In this episode Dr. Brancu answers four common questions about navigating these murky waters: when and how to (1) Say No, (2) Manage Up, (3) Adjust Work Relationships, & (4) Future-Proof Your Career.

If you are a high-achieving, goal-oriented, socially conscious person who has found themselves spinning in some weird toxic waters at work, or simply wondering how to avoid getting sucked up into it, this might be the episode for you. I predominantly work with women in these situations since they are often excluded from the informal structures that reveal the power dynamics and rules below the surface that could help them. But this is for anyone who has also found themselves in that situation. In this episode Dr. Brancu answers some common recent questions she receives from clients and from the Towerscope Leadership Academy members: when and how to (1) Say No, (2) Manage Up, (3) Adjust Work Relationships, & (4) Future-Proof Your Career.

Mira Brancu is a leadership consulting and coaching psychologist, founder of the Towerscope Leadership Academy, Associate Professor, Psychology Today columnist, author of the Millennials Guide to Workplace Politics, and had a leadership career before transitioning to helping teams and high-achieving women navigate their leadership complexities. 

#ClientQuestions #SayingNo #ManagingUp #WorkRelationships #CareerTransitions #LeadershipDevelopment #TheHardSkills

Tune in for this empowering conversation at

Show Notes

Segment  1

Dr. Mira Brancu is switching things up on her podcast by dedicating an episode to answering common questions from her clients and the Tower Scope Leadership Academy. Instead of having a guest this episode, she's focusing on important topics like knowing when and how to say no, effectively managing upward relationships, adapting to work dynamics, and strategies for future-proofing one's career. This episode is designed to offer practical advice and serve as a helpful reference for listeners.

Segment 2

Mira discusses deeper strategies for saying "no" at work beyond surface-level tactics. She introduces the Yes/No Audit, a foundational tool for deciding when to say "no," which she details on her website,, under "resources" and "other free stuff." She explains that factors like likeability, scarcity, and financial stability often hold women back. Mira also covers counteractive reframing, comments, and mantras, providing examples and guidelines for these techniques on her website.

Segment 3

After the ad break, Mira addresses another common question: what to do when your boss prevents you from being recognized by upper management. She describes a client's situation where the client wants to participate in higher-level meetings and gain recognition, but her boss is blocking these opportunities. Mira provides strategies for managing upward effectively in such scenarios. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and empathizing with your boss, recognizing their pain points, and acknowledging that they, too, have likely faced similar challenges in the past. By empathizing with your boss and finding ways to support them, you can create a more collaborative relationship, which can help you achieve the recognition you seek.

Segment 4

Mira continues with the scenario, focusing on the client's invitation to join meetings with higher management, which their direct boss opposes. She discusses strategies for resolving this conflict, emphasizing the need for understanding and diplomacy. Mira then addresses managing work relationships after entering a leadership role while others have not. She advises on maintaining friendliness while setting clear boundaries, suggesting clear communication and balancing authority with approachability.


00:00:53.990 --> 00:00:57.770 Mira Brancu: Welcome welcome to the hard skills

00:00:58.270 --> 00:01:09.559 Mira Brancu: where we discuss how to develop the nuanced hard skills meaning the most challenging soft skills needed to make a real impact through your leadership.

00:01:09.730 --> 00:01:12.299 Mira Brancu: I'm your host, Dr. Mira Branco.

00:01:12.770 --> 00:01:16.130 Mira Brancu: If you are a high achieving

00:01:16.340 --> 00:01:17.960 Mira Brancu: goal, oriented.

00:01:18.110 --> 00:01:23.650 Mira Brancu: socially conscious person who has found themselves spinning in some weird toxic

00:01:23.710 --> 00:01:29.080 Mira Brancu: waters at work, or simply wondering how to avoid getting sucked up into it.

00:01:29.390 --> 00:01:31.620 Mira Brancu: This might be the episode for you.

00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:43.699 Mira Brancu: I predominantly work with women in these situations, because they're often excluded from the informal structures that reveal the power, dynamics and rules below the surface that could help them.

00:01:44.570 --> 00:01:49.030 Mira Brancu: But this is for anyone who's also found themselves in that situation.

00:01:49.300 --> 00:01:50.949 Mira Brancu: Now we had some

00:01:50.980 --> 00:02:00.000 Mira Brancu: weird reconfiguration last minute emergency situations. I had to move some people around we could have done a rerun

00:02:00.706 --> 00:02:06.250 Mira Brancu: we had some complications, I figured. Why not just take this opportunity to just take a pause

00:02:06.450 --> 00:02:10.800 Mira Brancu: and offer you a different type of episode than my usuals.

00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:14.229 Mira Brancu: Now, today is just me myself and I

00:02:14.781 --> 00:02:16.629 Mira Brancu: I'm gonna introduce myself.

00:02:16.830 --> 00:02:26.770 Mira Brancu: And well, I'm not gonna just ask myself questions and answer myself, but I will answer some very common questions that I get from my clients routinely.

00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:34.680 Mira Brancu: I'm a leadership, consulting and coaching psychologist and the founder of Towerscope Leadership Academy.

00:02:35.010 --> 00:02:36.840 Mira Brancu: I'm an associate professor.

00:02:36.930 --> 00:02:39.640 Mira Brancu: Psychology today, column columnist

00:02:40.130 --> 00:02:43.350 Mira Brancu: and author of the Millennials Guide to workplace politics.

00:02:43.410 --> 00:02:51.380 Mira Brancu: And I've had my own leadership career before transitioning to helping teams and high achieving women navigate their leadership complexities.

00:02:51.800 --> 00:03:05.229 Mira Brancu: and I personally love podcasts where the host pulls out a bag of questions from their audience, or they have call Ins with questions they respond to. So I figured, that's what I can do today for you. I routinely get

00:03:05.390 --> 00:03:07.032 Mira Brancu: certain questions that

00:03:08.178 --> 00:03:22.060 Mira Brancu: so often they come up that I figured, why not take a few of them that came up recently? From my clients from my telescope Leadership Academy. Members and record something for folks that can go back to often

00:03:22.170 --> 00:03:23.699 Mira Brancu: that I can offer

00:03:24.204 --> 00:03:28.929 Mira Brancu: I can offer it to my clients to go back to. I can offer it to you to go back to.

00:03:29.180 --> 00:03:36.729 Mira Brancu: and it'll serve as a supplementary resource that would be evergreen. So that's what I was thinking. So let's get it right into it.

00:03:37.567 --> 00:03:42.972 Mira Brancu: We are going to talk about. These recent questions that I got from my clients.

00:03:43.480 --> 00:03:45.660 Mira Brancu: when and how to say, no.

00:03:45.670 --> 00:03:54.389 Mira Brancu: this is a big one, and there's a lot of nuance behind this. It sounds pretty simple. It's not simple. That's why we're talking about it on the hard skills.

00:03:54.840 --> 00:04:09.539 Mira Brancu: 2 managing up. There are certain situations and contexts where managing it up makes sense. There's some situations where it doesn't make sense, or there's nuance for how to do it, when to do it. What's the timing? We'll get into a little bit of that

00:04:10.130 --> 00:04:23.800 Mira Brancu: 3 adjusting work relationships when you move into a different kind of role, especially a leadership role after you've been peers with someone. How do you navigate that? It's really challenging, it's really complicated.

00:04:24.170 --> 00:04:29.055 Mira Brancu: And then, finally, how do you future proof? Your career, meaning

00:04:29.690 --> 00:04:42.620 Mira Brancu: being ready for that next step for that future opportunity. When you're still actively doing a great job and and excited to be where you are. But you're wanting to be ready for that next opportunity.

00:04:42.980 --> 00:04:44.949 Mira Brancu: So be ready.

00:04:45.090 --> 00:04:46.330 Mira Brancu: Take notes.

00:04:46.610 --> 00:04:54.420 Mira Brancu: reflect deeply, and identify at least one small step to further develop your hard skills muscle.

00:04:55.310 --> 00:05:00.400 Mira Brancu: So let's get into it. Let's start with the saying, no question.

00:05:01.035 --> 00:05:10.170 Mira Brancu: We're gonna call her Tanya, because, of course, I'm gonna anonymize and aggregate across clients to to protect their identity.

00:05:10.765 --> 00:05:12.280 Mira Brancu: But, Tanya, says

00:05:13.130 --> 00:05:13.990 Mira Brancu: Mira.

00:05:14.130 --> 00:05:17.820 Mira Brancu: I find myself continuing to take on more

00:05:18.926 --> 00:05:20.920 Mira Brancu: and more and more

00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:27.630 Mira Brancu: agreeing to take on something when I'm not sure it's the right thing, and saying yes to too many things

00:05:28.130 --> 00:05:31.639 Mira Brancu: from the outside. It looks like I'm really successful.

00:05:31.770 --> 00:05:36.249 Mira Brancu: But I feel like I'm just spinning, exhausted, frustrated, undervalued.

00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:49.229 Mira Brancu: I've been in my current role for 3 years, working my butt off, showing I'm a team player agreeing to take on new informal leadership roles like committee work, improving workflows, managing the needs of the team.

00:05:49.260 --> 00:05:54.759 Mira Brancu: all things to work towards a promotion or next step in my career. And now I feel stuck.

00:05:54.820 --> 00:05:59.340 Mira Brancu: I feel like I am teetering on burnout.

00:05:59.900 --> 00:06:04.119 Mira Brancu: I worry that I'm

00:06:04.620 --> 00:06:12.750 Mira Brancu: you know. I want to start saying, notice some things, some extra work making room for strategic opportunities, but I've taken on so much

00:06:12.970 --> 00:06:14.790 Mira Brancu: that if I take it on

00:06:14.820 --> 00:06:21.970 Mira Brancu: I won't do a good job of it, and if I say, no, I worry. They think I'm no longer a team player ready for a promotion.

00:06:22.260 --> 00:06:23.530 Mira Brancu: What do I do?

00:06:24.450 --> 00:06:27.280 Mira Brancu: Does that sound familiar to you?

00:06:28.220 --> 00:06:31.689 Mira Brancu: Does it sound like something that you've experienced?

00:06:32.070 --> 00:06:36.329 Mira Brancu: I bet it does. It's super common for so many people.

00:06:37.180 --> 00:06:43.769 Mira Brancu: And you know. Unfortunately, it's something that we find ourselves, especially for women.

00:06:44.622 --> 00:06:47.430 Mira Brancu: So this question is

00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:50.070 Mira Brancu: loaded with so much to unpack

00:06:51.027 --> 00:06:55.179 Mira Brancu: such a common experience for so many women I work with.

00:06:55.310 --> 00:07:04.920 Mira Brancu: and, in fact, so much so that I'm actually writing a new book on this very topic, how to quit unhealthy work behaviors and spaces and experiences.

00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:05.940 Mira Brancu: So

00:07:06.140 --> 00:07:12.689 Mira Brancu: I'm also testing these ideas out with you right now, and I would love to hear your feedback to see what you think.

00:07:13.010 --> 00:07:14.589 Mira Brancu: So let's break this down

00:07:15.100 --> 00:07:15.960 Mira Brancu: first.

00:07:16.570 --> 00:07:26.799 Mira Brancu: If it's one thing I can't stand. You probably already know this. If you've been listening to me, it's surface level advice that offers you a random band aid for a symptom

00:07:27.300 --> 00:07:29.369 Mira Brancu: instead of an appropriate

00:07:29.750 --> 00:07:35.939 Mira Brancu: precision, medicine-like approach to address the actual root cause of the issue.

00:07:37.190 --> 00:07:39.689 Mira Brancu: knowing what to let go of means.

00:07:40.190 --> 00:07:43.710 Mira Brancu: knowing what's at the root cause of the problem.

00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:45.909 Mira Brancu: and then

00:07:46.290 --> 00:07:48.259 Mira Brancu: reframing the issue

00:07:48.930 --> 00:07:55.930 Mira Brancu: to feel more comfortable, more confident, more in control of what's driving the behaviors, in the first place.

00:07:56.820 --> 00:08:01.970 Mira Brancu: So it sounds like Tanya feels like she has no control over how much she takes on

00:08:02.330 --> 00:08:05.820 Mira Brancu: and like. It's pretty, overwhelming and frustrating.

00:08:06.370 --> 00:08:10.660 Mira Brancu: She wants to do something different, but she doesn't know how or where to start.

00:08:11.570 --> 00:08:19.039 Mira Brancu: Now, this is where one of my audits can help. I have a few audits all rooted in research, based psychological principles

00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.779 Mira Brancu: and cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.

00:08:21.790 --> 00:08:23.199 Mira Brancu: In this situation.

00:08:23.460 --> 00:08:25.880 Mira Brancu: The yes, no audit can help a lot.

00:08:26.850 --> 00:08:41.229 Mira Brancu: It's a it's. It sounds simple. Yes, no audit I'll just pause there like if you have a better name for this once you hear what it's about, I'd love to hear it. I'm not great with catchy phrases here. I'm just real straightfor with it. So

00:08:41.710 --> 00:08:43.220 Mira Brancu: what can Tanya do?

00:08:43.775 --> 00:08:46.729 Mira Brancu: And any of you who find yourself in this situation.

00:08:47.247 --> 00:08:51.780 Mira Brancu: Is first of all to take anywhere from one to 3 months

00:08:52.270 --> 00:08:54.090 Mira Brancu: to gather some information.

00:08:54.290 --> 00:08:57.719 Mira Brancu: Yes, it sounds like a long time, but trust me.

00:08:58.140 --> 00:09:05.209 Mira Brancu: it will save you a lifetime of aggravation, frustration, misery, and burnout.

00:09:06.070 --> 00:09:08.270 Mira Brancu: If you take these one to 3 months to do this.

00:09:08.300 --> 00:09:11.150 Mira Brancu: and it's so simple you can do this. Okay?

00:09:11.180 --> 00:09:14.869 Mira Brancu: So in every situation, Tanya finds herself being invited

00:09:15.250 --> 00:09:18.379 Mira Brancu: or offered to take on something new.

00:09:18.430 --> 00:09:21.569 Mira Brancu: I want her to use a 2 by 2 grid.

00:09:22.430 --> 00:09:27.130 Mira Brancu: Okay, to track both her response and the ultimate outcome

00:09:28.010 --> 00:09:33.160 Mira Brancu: in each situation. What she would do is indicate whether she said yes

00:09:33.190 --> 00:09:34.329 Mira Brancu: or no.

00:09:34.680 --> 00:09:39.229 Mira Brancu: so yes, and and no will be like 2 rows in the 2 by 2.

00:09:39.260 --> 00:09:41.160 Mira Brancu: Did I say yes, or did I say no?

00:09:41.910 --> 00:09:44.670 Mira Brancu: The columns would be happy or unhappy.

00:09:44.850 --> 00:09:47.810 Mira Brancu: So did I say yes or no to the opportunity.

00:09:47.970 --> 00:09:51.370 Mira Brancu: And then, after a few days, or even a month

00:09:51.770 --> 00:09:53.480 Mira Brancu: after the decision.

00:09:53.890 --> 00:09:59.400 Mira Brancu: I want her to indicate whether she was happy with her decision or unhappy with her decision.

00:09:59.990 --> 00:10:03.150 Mira Brancu: And here's the key, with a few notes about why

00:10:03.480 --> 00:10:06.469 Mira Brancu: she thought she was happy or unhappy with the decision.

00:10:08.290 --> 00:10:12.050 Mira Brancu: After she makes several yes or no decisions.

00:10:12.100 --> 00:10:15.490 Mira Brancu: and takes several notes each and every time

00:10:15.730 --> 00:10:18.079 Mira Brancu: I want her to look back on this data.

00:10:18.760 --> 00:10:21.190 Mira Brancu: this 2 by 2 grid with information

00:10:21.330 --> 00:10:25.440 Mira Brancu: and see what she notices. Does she notice any trends?

00:10:26.060 --> 00:10:28.970 Mira Brancu: Okay, so let's let's take an example.

00:10:29.940 --> 00:10:31.119 Mira Brancu: let's say.

00:10:31.300 --> 00:10:36.030 Mira Brancu: After a while Tanya noticed that she was unhappy with her decision.

00:10:36.190 --> 00:10:38.490 Mira Brancu: Every time she said yes

00:10:38.690 --> 00:10:39.989 Mira Brancu: to committee work

00:10:40.020 --> 00:10:42.090 Mira Brancu: where she was not the lead

00:10:43.310 --> 00:10:45.280 Mira Brancu: where she was yet again

00:10:45.470 --> 00:10:48.749 Mira Brancu: supporting someone else in the lead position.

00:10:48.920 --> 00:10:51.430 Mira Brancu: When she had done that many other times.

00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:53.210 Mira Brancu: and it was nothing new to her.

00:10:54.870 --> 00:10:58.049 Mira Brancu: This realization gives her clarity

00:10:58.200 --> 00:11:00.669 Mira Brancu: and the language

00:11:01.260 --> 00:11:04.180 Mira Brancu: to explain why she's making a decision in the future.

00:11:04.750 --> 00:11:06.359 Mira Brancu: Clary, for herself

00:11:06.650 --> 00:11:08.500 Mira Brancu: that it's a good decision

00:11:09.350 --> 00:11:14.300 Mira Brancu: and language to help others better understand what she is looking for.

00:11:15.130 --> 00:11:19.269 Mira Brancu: and that gives her greater control over her decisions. So

00:11:19.790 --> 00:11:21.810 Mira Brancu: in this situation, for example.

00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:25.870 Mira Brancu: and moving forward into the future.

00:11:25.910 --> 00:11:29.129 Mira Brancu: I want her to then practice either saying no

00:11:30.280 --> 00:11:33.209 Mira Brancu: to any request that sounds similar to that one.

00:11:33.660 --> 00:11:35.870 Mira Brancu: that where she's tracked her trends

00:11:36.740 --> 00:11:43.369 Mira Brancu: or responding with something that gathers more information or creates a negotiation process.

00:11:44.550 --> 00:11:45.970 Mira Brancu: Okay? So

00:11:46.370 --> 00:11:49.290 Mira Brancu: as she's gathering more information, she might respond with

00:11:50.710 --> 00:11:53.689 Mira Brancu: in in response to. Will you do this? She might say.

00:11:53.930 --> 00:11:55.100 Mira Brancu: it depends.

00:11:55.350 --> 00:11:57.379 Mira Brancu: What would be my role in in this

00:11:57.680 --> 00:12:02.919 Mira Brancu: now she's gathering more information about whether it actually could fit. What she's looking for versus not

00:12:03.390 --> 00:12:06.239 Mira Brancu: it depends. Can you tell me more about the time commitment?

00:12:06.670 --> 00:12:13.650 Mira Brancu: It depends. Can you tell me what my role is what the time commitment is. Will I have any support or resources?

00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:20.780 Mira Brancu: Right? She's starting to gather the data that tells her what will lead to success versus not.

00:12:21.380 --> 00:12:23.190 Mira Brancu: and if it doesn't feel right.

00:12:23.360 --> 00:12:27.320 Mira Brancu: she could choose to enter negotiation process.

00:12:27.480 --> 00:12:30.669 Mira Brancu: or she could decline the response

00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:37.949 Mira Brancu: with clarity about the reason. If she feels like she needs to offer reason right? So she could say.

00:12:38.210 --> 00:12:56.529 Mira Brancu: Thank you for this. I appreciate you looking into it. I appreciate you sort of clarifying for me what it could look like. Unfortunately, right now I can't take on any more committee roles like these, but if any come up where I could lead an effort in my areas of expertise with a little bit of extra support. In this way

00:12:56.800 --> 00:12:58.739 Mira Brancu: I would love to hear about those.

00:13:00.630 --> 00:13:01.380 Mira Brancu: Kate.

00:13:02.020 --> 00:13:03.630 Mira Brancu: So what I just described

00:13:05.243 --> 00:13:07.810 Mira Brancu: about what she could say.

00:13:08.170 --> 00:13:10.309 Mira Brancu: our surface level tactics.

00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:13.120 Mira Brancu: There's an additional

00:13:13.170 --> 00:13:17.640 Mira Brancu: below the surface issue. We have not yet discussed.

00:13:19.070 --> 00:13:23.110 Mira Brancu: Okay, what I just offered. You are surface level tactics.

00:13:24.220 --> 00:13:28.110 Mira Brancu: We're going to get into the below the surface stuff

00:13:28.560 --> 00:13:29.450 Mira Brancu: next.

00:13:29.690 --> 00:13:32.060 Mira Brancu: because this is where it counts. Okay.

00:13:32.440 --> 00:13:33.700 Mira Brancu: let's say.

00:13:33.940 --> 00:13:37.489 Mira Brancu: through this process of tracking and observing her behaviors.

00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:41.330 Mira Brancu: we learn that the times when Tanya says Yes.

00:13:41.900 --> 00:13:44.480 Mira Brancu: and is unhappy about saying Yes.

00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:48.800 Mira Brancu: it's almost always in situations where she feels guilty.

00:13:50.100 --> 00:13:52.629 Mira Brancu: or a sense of obligation to others.

00:13:53.800 --> 00:13:56.579 Mira Brancu: Or maybe she's told herself things like

00:13:56.790 --> 00:13:59.030 Mira Brancu: if I don't say yes, they will fire me

00:13:59.540 --> 00:14:02.719 Mira Brancu: if I don't say yes, they will think I'm not a team player.

00:14:02.980 --> 00:14:06.370 Mira Brancu: If I don't say yes, I will lose it out on a great opportunity.

00:14:06.760 --> 00:14:08.360 Mira Brancu: If I don't say yes.

00:14:08.570 --> 00:14:10.180 Mira Brancu: I will lose out on money.

00:14:10.410 --> 00:14:12.890 Mira Brancu: And what if this kind of offer doesn't come again?

00:14:13.640 --> 00:14:19.760 Mira Brancu: If I keep saying yes, people will see me as successful, and I can get the recognition or promotion I want.

00:14:22.660 --> 00:14:27.780 Mira Brancu: Now, what is the problem with these? And what does that mean in terms of how she adjusts

00:14:27.960 --> 00:14:30.460 Mira Brancu: what she says and does and why

00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:34.379 Mira Brancu: we're going to get to that after the ad break.

00:14:34.780 --> 00:14:36.389 Mira Brancu: Okay, I'm gonna

00:14:36.670 --> 00:14:38.930 Mira Brancu: make you hold off for just a minute.

00:14:38.990 --> 00:14:54.590 Mira Brancu: We're reaching that ad break. You're listening to the hard skills with me. Dr. Mayor Bronku, founder of Towerscope Leadership Academy. We are air on Tuesdays at 5 Pm. Eastern time. If you would like to join me online and ask any questions as I'm going along.

00:14:54.700 --> 00:15:02.929 Mira Brancu: we can answer. I can answer that in real time find us on Linkedin or Youtube at Talkradio, Nyc. And we'll be right back in just a moment.

00:17:15.970 --> 00:17:26.390 Mira Brancu: Welcome. Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Broncou. Now we have just been talking about a scenario

00:17:26.569 --> 00:17:31.170 Mira Brancu: where someone is trying to figure out the best way to say no

00:17:31.370 --> 00:17:37.259 Mira Brancu: to a situation I gave you some surface level tactics to be thinking about.

00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:41.220 Mira Brancu: But now we're talking about, but below the surface

00:17:41.500 --> 00:17:45.379 Mira Brancu: stuff that's that's behind the scenes. Now. The

00:17:45.610 --> 00:17:52.230 Mira Brancu: surface level tactics are important still, and part of that was a yes, no audit

00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:52.965 Mira Brancu: and

00:17:53.950 --> 00:17:58.819 Mira Brancu: What I want to show you here is if you're watching this right now.

00:17:59.987 --> 00:18:01.990 Mira Brancu: I have created

00:18:02.300 --> 00:18:13.950 Mira Brancu: a yes, no audit with instructions. This is how you would do it right at the bottom. It has yes and no on the rows, and happy versus unhappy in the columns.

00:18:14.080 --> 00:18:19.109 Mira Brancu: And you're asking yourself. What did you say? Yes to

00:18:19.450 --> 00:18:26.810 Mira Brancu: why did you feel that way, or what did you say? No to? Why did you feel that way right? And this will help you track the information

00:18:26.840 --> 00:18:32.189 Mira Brancu: if you would like this. Yes, no audit. With all of the instructions for how to do it.

00:18:32.550 --> 00:18:35.439 Mira Brancu: Then you can go to my website

00:18:35.850 --> 00:18:38.130 Mira Brancu: and you can find it.

00:18:38.641 --> 00:18:45.639 Mira Brancu: I will show you. If you're watching this live or the recording, you go to resources.

00:18:46.050 --> 00:18:55.800 Mira Brancu: Actually, you go to go just just in case go is my website. You go to resources and you go to other free stuff.

00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:58.930 Mira Brancu: Okay? Then you go down to yes, no audit.

00:18:58.990 --> 00:19:06.620 Mira Brancu: And you can just enter your name and email and immediately be able to download this resource.

00:19:07.040 --> 00:19:28.169 Mira Brancu: Okay, so let's move forward with Tanya's situation. Okay, let's say she's telling herself things like if they don't say if I don't say yes, they will fire me if I don't say yes, they will think I'm not a team player. If I don't say yes, I'll lose out on a great opportunity. She's telling us her. You know herself all of this stuff behind the scenes, which is making it very difficult

00:19:28.890 --> 00:19:31.409 Mira Brancu: for her to say no.

00:19:32.760 --> 00:19:34.580 Mira Brancu: Some of the things that I mentioned

00:19:35.060 --> 00:19:36.469 Mira Brancu: are about like ability.

00:19:37.130 --> 00:19:41.039 Mira Brancu: Some of the things that I mentioned are about financial stability.

00:19:41.690 --> 00:19:45.049 Mira Brancu: Some of the things that I mentioned are about scarcity of opportunity.

00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:46.260 Mira Brancu: Now

00:19:48.940 --> 00:19:52.259 Mira Brancu: you know me, I'm gonna get on my soapbox here for just a second.

00:19:52.280 --> 00:19:53.809 Mira Brancu: Okay, about these things.

00:19:54.300 --> 00:19:55.530 Mira Brancu: Likability.

00:19:55.610 --> 00:19:58.230 Mira Brancu: scarcity, financial stability

00:19:58.820 --> 00:20:03.430 Mira Brancu: are 3 of the many messages women have received over the course of their life

00:20:03.790 --> 00:20:06.130 Mira Brancu: that have been used to hold them back.

00:20:06.170 --> 00:20:08.120 Mira Brancu: use to make them feel small.

00:20:08.390 --> 00:20:13.739 Mira Brancu: make them feel like their success, is only dependent on whether they behave in a way

00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:18.370 Mira Brancu: that is acceptable and deemed by society. As okay

00:20:19.020 --> 00:20:21.659 Mira Brancu: for women to behave and act and look right.

00:20:21.790 --> 00:20:23.520 Mira Brancu: So remember.

00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:27.999 Mira Brancu: it was only in the seventies when women got the right

00:20:28.230 --> 00:20:31.569 Mira Brancu: to get a credit card without a man signing for it.

00:20:31.840 --> 00:20:41.129 Mira Brancu: meaning women's lives have been controlled and regulated by other people for a very long time, and we're still trying to extract ourselves from that conditioning

00:20:41.560 --> 00:20:43.929 Mira Brancu: extract ourselves from the belief.

00:20:44.430 --> 00:20:51.779 Mira Brancu: then our love, our success, our financial security, is contingent on another person's acceptance and control.

00:20:53.760 --> 00:20:59.100 Mira Brancu: Now, some of these messages also come from our personal additional experiences with adversity.

00:20:59.160 --> 00:21:00.750 Mira Brancu: Okay. So, for example.

00:21:01.420 --> 00:21:04.829 Mira Brancu: I came to this country with my parents. We were immigrants.

00:21:05.350 --> 00:21:15.740 Mira Brancu: We lean heavily on nonprofit sponsorships, on family, on government subsidies like food stamps in the beginning to help us.

00:21:16.830 --> 00:21:19.969 Mira Brancu: and I saw my parents work really hard

00:21:19.980 --> 00:21:23.180 Mira Brancu: to move from surviving financially

00:21:23.260 --> 00:21:25.409 Mira Brancu: to feeling financially stable

00:21:26.070 --> 00:21:28.530 Mira Brancu: anyone in that kind of situation

00:21:28.810 --> 00:21:34.509 Mira Brancu: is likely to have a certain ingrained need for financial stability at all costs.

00:21:34.780 --> 00:21:40.849 Mira Brancu: and that relationship to money will drive their decision making will make it hard to say no.

00:21:41.170 --> 00:21:44.179 Mira Brancu: especially if it's connected to money.

00:21:45.980 --> 00:21:49.060 Mira Brancu: That's the below the surface stuff I'm talking about. Okay.

00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:51.110 Mira Brancu: lots to unpack there.

00:21:51.470 --> 00:21:52.270 Mira Brancu: So

00:21:52.520 --> 00:21:57.189 Mira Brancu: if depending on whatever resonates for Tanya, when I talk with her.

00:21:57.580 --> 00:22:00.180 Mira Brancu: we would want to explore that, and then create

00:22:00.550 --> 00:22:04.069 Mira Brancu: what I call counteractive reframing

00:22:04.210 --> 00:22:05.889 Mira Brancu: comments and mantras.

00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:09.300 Mira Brancu: counteractive, reframing

00:22:10.420 --> 00:22:12.960 Mira Brancu: things that we tell ourselves to counteract

00:22:14.040 --> 00:22:18.949 Mira Brancu: the self-sabotaging internalized beliefs that hold us back.

00:22:20.940 --> 00:22:22.389 Mira Brancu: Okay? So

00:22:22.590 --> 00:22:24.350 Mira Brancu: the reframing might be.

00:22:24.790 --> 00:22:28.079 Mira Brancu: I'm not a bad person if I don't take this one thing on.

00:22:28.700 --> 00:22:29.740 Mira Brancu: or

00:22:30.770 --> 00:22:32.989 Mira Brancu: I have a right to choose what I take on.

00:22:33.750 --> 00:22:34.690 Mira Brancu: or

00:22:35.560 --> 00:22:41.750 Mira Brancu: I've given them more than enough. There are others who can do this well, and they deserve an opportunity also.

00:22:42.510 --> 00:22:43.370 Mira Brancu: or

00:22:44.120 --> 00:22:45.770 Mira Brancu: I have a lot to give.

00:22:45.970 --> 00:22:48.489 Mira Brancu: I'm glad they appreciate me so much.

00:22:50.220 --> 00:22:55.510 Mira Brancu: Each person I work with that uses this counteractive, reframing mantra idea

00:22:56.310 --> 00:23:00.610 Mira Brancu: create something that makes the most sense to them

00:23:00.780 --> 00:23:02.360 Mira Brancu: for their situation.

00:23:03.250 --> 00:23:09.470 Mira Brancu: Okay? So you would create something that makes most sense to you. Once you can identify your personal.

00:23:10.430 --> 00:23:12.530 Mira Brancu: self-sabotaging mantras. Now.

00:23:14.060 --> 00:23:16.859 Mira Brancu: as an important footnote here.

00:23:17.780 --> 00:23:23.020 Mira Brancu: I wanna make it clear that those I I think I've made this clear. But I just wanna make this really clear.

00:23:23.550 --> 00:23:26.280 Mira Brancu: Those self-sabotaging beliefs

00:23:26.370 --> 00:23:27.840 Mira Brancu: are not

00:23:28.210 --> 00:23:31.720 Mira Brancu: because Tanya has any personal fault that we're fixing.

00:23:32.750 --> 00:23:34.660 Mira Brancu: She is a highly capable.

00:23:35.040 --> 00:23:37.699 Mira Brancu: high achieving person. That's who I work with

00:23:37.970 --> 00:23:41.970 Mira Brancu: and no high achieving person purposefully limits themselves.

00:23:42.050 --> 00:23:44.599 Mira Brancu: Okay, that stuff is coming from somewhere else.

00:23:45.350 --> 00:23:52.460 Mira Brancu: What we're doing here is unlearning the unhealthy messages she has picked up about her capabilities

00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:58.320 Mira Brancu: and practice, letting those messages go because those messages are not hers.

00:23:58.600 --> 00:24:00.339 Mira Brancu: they're just internalized.

00:24:01.400 --> 00:24:04.209 Mira Brancu: So when you put all of this together.

00:24:04.660 --> 00:24:08.500 Mira Brancu: Tanya might then be able to identify both

00:24:08.550 --> 00:24:10.040 Mira Brancu: the root cause

00:24:10.680 --> 00:24:14.909 Mira Brancu: of what leads her to get caught and trapped, repeating the bad cycle

00:24:15.310 --> 00:24:20.460 Mira Brancu: which includes what she's telling herself that leads to decisions she's not happy with.

00:24:22.390 --> 00:24:30.800 Mira Brancu: And with that data along with practicing new reframing mantras inside. Each time she's making. She's making a decision.

00:24:31.730 --> 00:24:34.090 Mira Brancu: She might be able to start

00:24:34.460 --> 00:24:36.270 Mira Brancu: stopping herself

00:24:36.580 --> 00:24:39.189 Mira Brancu: in time to tell herself. Tanya.

00:24:39.820 --> 00:24:44.010 Mira Brancu: remember, this is one of those situations where you always regret saying, Yes.

00:24:44.600 --> 00:24:49.749 Mira Brancu: you don't have to. They still appreciate you, which is why they keep coming back to you.

00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:52.530 Mira Brancu: That's her counteract of reframing mantra.

00:24:52.890 --> 00:24:55.660 Mira Brancu: And then on the outside.

00:24:55.970 --> 00:25:01.009 Mira Brancu: she can say, thanks so much for this opportunity. I love that you're always thinking about me.

00:25:01.070 --> 00:25:06.709 Mira Brancu: In this case I'm trying to be better about saying No to more opportunities that repeat

00:25:06.890 --> 00:25:12.359 Mira Brancu: what I've already done, and seeing more yes, to more new challenges

00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:13.980 Mira Brancu: that I haven't tried yet.

00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:17.999 Mira Brancu: I have a recommendation for someone who would love this opportunity.

00:25:18.100 --> 00:25:24.130 Mira Brancu: I definitely love to be considered for some new challenging roles when they come up

00:25:25.980 --> 00:25:32.220 Mira Brancu: right? So she's using both the information she gathered from the Yes no audit

00:25:32.750 --> 00:25:37.980 Mira Brancu: as well as the counteractive mantras. She's telling herself so that it's okay for her

00:25:38.330 --> 00:25:42.489 Mira Brancu: to say no, because she's also challenging

00:25:43.070 --> 00:25:46.269 Mira Brancu: the self-sabotaging beliefs while

00:25:46.350 --> 00:25:48.600 Mira Brancu: she's trying to do something new and different.

00:25:49.310 --> 00:25:50.100 Mira Brancu: Now

00:25:51.820 --> 00:25:53.260 Mira Brancu: I could have told you

00:25:54.020 --> 00:25:55.669 Mira Brancu: to say that whole thing

00:25:56.480 --> 00:26:03.310 Mira Brancu: as a Band-aid fix. Right? I could have easily said just practice saying no more often.

00:26:05.616 --> 00:26:07.750 Mira Brancu: But that's not that easy

00:26:07.760 --> 00:26:10.449 Mira Brancu: right for for most most of us

00:26:10.630 --> 00:26:12.710 Mira Brancu: it doesn't feel authentic

00:26:12.730 --> 00:26:16.440 Mira Brancu: to just say the words that someone says you're supposed to say

00:26:16.620 --> 00:26:18.430 Mira Brancu: in the moment, because

00:26:18.770 --> 00:26:21.689 Mira Brancu: we don't know what's driving our behaviors.

00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:23.860 Mira Brancu: So it's not going to stick

00:26:24.970 --> 00:26:25.730 Mira Brancu: right?

00:26:26.090 --> 00:26:29.189 Mira Brancu: Okay, I can say a whole lot more on this topic.

00:26:29.427 --> 00:26:31.250 Mira Brancu: But you'll need to wait for the book

00:26:31.260 --> 00:26:33.730 Mira Brancu: or engage me in coaching for that.

00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:39.490 Mira Brancu: or in the meantime. I also have happen to have

00:26:39.760 --> 00:26:40.350 Mira Brancu: the

00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:42.370 Mira Brancu: counteractive.

00:26:42.570 --> 00:26:45.780 Mira Brancu: reframing mantras as another

00:26:46.097 --> 00:26:53.840 Mira Brancu: handout that you can download. So I'm gonna share my screen here for a second, for those of you who are watching live or the recording.

00:26:55.270 --> 00:27:02.829 Mira Brancu: here's the counteractive, reframing mantras. You'll see that I have instructions here, and you'll see an example of how it's done.

00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:08.960 Mira Brancu: Okay? And in order to download that, you again

00:27:09.010 --> 00:27:11.519 Mira Brancu: would go to my website.

00:27:11.910 --> 00:27:16.260 Mira Brancu: and that is, go

00:27:16.760 --> 00:27:20.999 Mira Brancu: right? You would go again to the resources

00:27:21.040 --> 00:27:22.600 Mira Brancu: other free stuff.

00:27:22.910 --> 00:27:26.470 Mira Brancu: and then you'll see right there counteractive, reframing mantras.

00:27:26.743 --> 00:27:34.520 Mira Brancu: It tells you a little bit about it. What you're gonna see when you download it. And then you just enter your name and email, submit, and then you'll get the downloadable.

00:27:35.780 --> 00:27:36.560 Mira Brancu: Okay?

00:27:36.710 --> 00:27:38.650 Mira Brancu: All right. So

00:27:38.870 --> 00:27:47.610 Mira Brancu: we have the Yes no audit and the counteractive, reframing mantras to be able to think about in that situation. There's a whole lot more

00:27:47.930 --> 00:27:51.850 Mira Brancu: that goes into this. Obviously. So if you get stuck

00:27:52.120 --> 00:27:53.680 Mira Brancu: definitely reach out to me.

00:27:53.730 --> 00:27:59.120 Mira Brancu: and we can explore ways that coaching might be useful to you. Okay.

00:28:00.040 --> 00:28:00.909 Mira Brancu: all right.

00:28:01.710 --> 00:28:02.530 Mira Brancu: Phew!

00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:08.830 Mira Brancu: Let's go on to the next question. The next question is about managing up

00:28:09.390 --> 00:28:10.170 Mira Brancu: Kate.

00:28:11.420 --> 00:28:12.930 Mira Brancu: We'll call her Shauna.

00:28:12.980 --> 00:28:16.730 Mira Brancu: Okay, since we're keeping things real anonymous here.

00:28:17.330 --> 00:28:18.670 Mira Brancu: Shauna asks.

00:28:19.070 --> 00:28:21.510 Mira Brancu: how do I manage up effectively.

00:28:21.750 --> 00:28:25.409 Mira Brancu: There are decisions made that affect our staff

00:28:25.560 --> 00:28:27.980 Mira Brancu: that affect the resources that we have.

00:28:28.367 --> 00:28:32.540 Mira Brancu: I need to advocate for people so we can do better work.

00:28:32.610 --> 00:28:42.409 Mira Brancu: And there are times when I get to meet with higher level leaders, and I want them to think about me, not just as someone in my current role. I also want them

00:28:42.560 --> 00:28:48.929 Mira Brancu: to see me in a future promotional role, a potential, a high potential in a future promotional role.

00:28:50.360 --> 00:28:54.599 Mira Brancu: And so there's a lot of reasons why I'm interested in managing up

00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:57.550 Mira Brancu: right to advocate for resources.

00:28:58.170 --> 00:29:03.099 Mira Brancu: to advocate for my staff's needs and to be seen

00:29:03.370 --> 00:29:07.989 Mira Brancu: as a leader with greater promotional potential as well.

00:29:08.230 --> 00:29:11.880 Mira Brancu: Now this last part for me is most challenging.

00:29:11.990 --> 00:29:15.510 Mira Brancu: because I'm invited by higher level leaders

00:29:15.980 --> 00:29:20.349 Mira Brancu: that are above my boss in the organization that's called a skip level

00:29:20.420 --> 00:29:28.589 Mira Brancu: to share my thoughts. But my boss doesn't want me to be there. He says things like you don't be need to be in that meeting, or why did you go to that meeting?

00:29:29.280 --> 00:29:31.640 Mira Brancu: So how do I handle all of that

00:29:33.730 --> 00:29:40.959 Mira Brancu: great question? This is really some parts of this are more simple than others. Some parts are much more nuanced.

00:29:41.020 --> 00:29:43.789 Mira Brancu: So we're gonna talk about that.

00:29:43.870 --> 00:29:45.870 Mira Brancu: After the ad break

00:29:46.210 --> 00:30:01.500 Mira Brancu: we're reaching an add, break right now. You're listening to the hard skills with me. Dr. Mira Bronku, founder of Towerscope Leadership Academy. We air on Tuesdays at 5 Pm. Eastern. If you'd like to join us online and ask some questions, we're right here. I'm right here. I can answer in real time.

00:30:01.740 --> 00:30:09.019 Mira Brancu: Find me on Linkedin or Youtube at talk radiocom, talk radio. Nyc, sorry. And we'll be right back in just a moment.

00:32:13.380 --> 00:32:18.079 Mira Brancu: Hello, Hello! Welcome back to the heart skills with me, Dr. Mira Broncou.

00:32:18.130 --> 00:32:23.430 Mira Brancu: All right. So we're talking now about managing up.

00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:26.109 Mira Brancu: and the question comes from Shauna

00:32:26.940 --> 00:32:37.079 Mira Brancu: and she's seeking a couple of things. One is some, you know, more basic managing up skills around advocating for resources. And some

00:32:37.617 --> 00:32:46.070 Mira Brancu: are more about being seen and visible by much higher leaders. To be able to

00:32:46.830 --> 00:32:51.980 Mira Brancu: sort of present herself as a promotional material for future roles.

00:32:52.060 --> 00:32:58.769 Mira Brancu: and then some is managing when there's an issue with your boss above you.

00:33:00.030 --> 00:33:02.030 Mira Brancu: who may not like that.

00:33:02.380 --> 00:33:11.420 Mira Brancu: So let's let's talk about some basic managing up needs. And then we'll go into some very nuanced ones.

00:33:11.880 --> 00:33:22.589 Mira Brancu: Okay, first, I'll just say that you can find a lot more in-depth discussion about this in my millennials, guide to workplace politics. Book, I wrote a lot about this

00:33:22.650 --> 00:33:27.660 Mira Brancu: and as well as in a podcast episode on managing up

00:33:27.670 --> 00:33:32.580 Mira Brancu: that I did with Dr. Shari Dade, host of audacity to fail podcast

00:33:32.710 --> 00:33:40.180 Mira Brancu: and I'm gonna just share those resources right now, so that you can see it quickly.

00:33:41.020 --> 00:33:55.019 Mira Brancu: the audacity to fail, Miss, stepping into success is the name of the podcast. And you would just search up my name. It's called. It's under the the power of managing up. So it should be easy to find

00:33:55.370 --> 00:34:00.070 Mira Brancu: millennials guide to workplace politics is easily found

00:34:00.090 --> 00:34:01.680 Mira Brancu: on Amazon.

00:34:02.860 --> 00:34:05.250 Mira Brancu: Alright. So let's start with the basics.

00:34:05.330 --> 00:34:13.280 Mira Brancu: My first experience personally with the concept of managing up was in my last year of training as a psychologist.

00:34:13.449 --> 00:34:19.019 Mira Brancu: I was working in a hospital setting, and one of the hospital service leaders was gushing

00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:23.110 Mira Brancu: this amazing research coordinator. She's so amazing

00:34:23.130 --> 00:34:29.210 Mira Brancu: and how rare it was to find someone like her in it. Just my curiosity peaked. So I was like.

00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:32.669 Mira Brancu: what does she do? That's so amazing and unique, you know.

00:34:33.190 --> 00:34:40.980 Mira Brancu: And and he said she doesn't just come to me with problems. She comes to me with problems and potential solutions.

00:34:41.159 --> 00:34:48.749 Mira Brancu: She says, here's the bad news. But here are 3 potential solutions that might address the problem, which way do you want to go?

00:34:49.630 --> 00:34:50.530 Mira Brancu: Wow!

00:34:51.130 --> 00:34:53.939 Mira Brancu: That just learning that

00:34:54.460 --> 00:34:57.320 Mira Brancu: really changed. How I viewed

00:34:57.350 --> 00:34:58.810 Mira Brancu: managing up.

00:34:59.940 --> 00:35:01.370 Mira Brancu: I immediately got it

00:35:01.640 --> 00:35:03.570 Mira Brancu: within a span of a few minutes

00:35:04.340 --> 00:35:06.189 Mira Brancu: by saying that to him.

00:35:06.440 --> 00:35:08.349 Mira Brancu: and approaching him in that way.

00:35:08.510 --> 00:35:13.900 Mira Brancu: she provided him with an assessment of a problem he may not have known about.

00:35:14.730 --> 00:35:20.030 Mira Brancu: She demonstrated competency and quick problem solving. By offering several

00:35:20.140 --> 00:35:21.620 Mira Brancu: smart solutions.

00:35:22.090 --> 00:35:25.329 Mira Brancu: she removed a potential burden or stressor.

00:35:26.190 --> 00:35:31.550 Mira Brancu: She demonstrated an ability to anticipate what he would be most concerned with.

00:35:32.310 --> 00:35:36.669 Mira Brancu: she made sure he'd still be the person to make the final decision

00:35:37.410 --> 00:35:38.840 Mira Brancu: which path to take.

00:35:40.020 --> 00:35:44.869 Mira Brancu: She created a mutually beneficial situation for him and for her

00:35:45.120 --> 00:35:45.920 Mira Brancu: right.

00:35:46.560 --> 00:35:49.209 Mira Brancu: and it increased his trust in her.

00:35:49.820 --> 00:35:50.970 Mira Brancu: Now she didn't

00:35:51.200 --> 00:35:52.490 Mira Brancu: approach it.

00:35:53.060 --> 00:35:58.660 Mira Brancu: As you have a problem, you have an issue, and I want to fix it.

00:35:59.060 --> 00:36:01.089 Mira Brancu: It wasn't quite like that.

00:36:01.320 --> 00:36:03.120 Mira Brancu: He was looking out for him.

00:36:03.950 --> 00:36:05.580 Mira Brancu: It was joining.

00:36:07.030 --> 00:36:13.659 Mira Brancu: and this is the critical piece about managing up that I want you to think about. Okay.

00:36:14.030 --> 00:36:15.480 Mira Brancu: it's proactive

00:36:15.660 --> 00:36:20.060 Mira Brancu: problem solving. She shows she cares about his success.

00:36:21.500 --> 00:36:22.580 Mira Brancu: and

00:36:23.390 --> 00:36:26.719 Mira Brancu: it shows her capability in anticipating

00:36:26.950 --> 00:36:28.179 Mira Brancu: potential risks.

00:36:30.300 --> 00:36:37.219 Mira Brancu: Since then I have had my own assistance, many assistants, and I can tell you now

00:36:37.590 --> 00:36:39.809 Mira Brancu: that it is hard to find someone

00:36:39.950 --> 00:36:42.889 Mira Brancu: who doesn't just come to you with complaints.

00:36:42.910 --> 00:36:48.060 Mira Brancu: and who also doesn't sit back and wait for you to tell them what to do.

00:36:49.150 --> 00:36:53.580 Mira Brancu: Now, you might be wondering, is this really managing up? Isn't that like just demonstrating, like good

00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:54.779 Mira Brancu: work, ethic

00:36:55.060 --> 00:36:56.260 Mira Brancu: initiative.

00:36:56.350 --> 00:36:57.750 Mira Brancu: critical thinking?

00:36:58.270 --> 00:36:59.250 Mira Brancu: Yes.

00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:01.169 Mira Brancu: those are important skills.

00:37:01.870 --> 00:37:06.340 Mira Brancu: We all need to have those skills right to stand out in the workplace. But here's the difference.

00:37:07.370 --> 00:37:09.069 Mira Brancu: When it comes to managing up.

00:37:09.940 --> 00:37:12.620 Mira Brancu: It's the ability to have empathy

00:37:13.620 --> 00:37:15.320 Mira Brancu: for the leader's position

00:37:16.270 --> 00:37:17.640 Mira Brancu: and consider

00:37:18.210 --> 00:37:20.739 Mira Brancu: what they might be experiencing or worried about.

00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:23.709 Mira Brancu: and how you can help in a way that also helps you

00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:26.829 Mira Brancu: and the team be more successful in the long run.

00:37:28.430 --> 00:37:34.349 Mira Brancu: There are employees who have the same work, ethic initiative, critical thinking problem solving skills.

00:37:35.030 --> 00:37:38.510 Mira Brancu: But they use these skills to tell the leader what they're doing wrong

00:37:39.130 --> 00:37:41.949 Mira Brancu: which creates an adversarial relationship.

00:37:42.370 --> 00:37:43.180 Mira Brancu: Right?

00:37:43.850 --> 00:37:46.170 Mira Brancu: They assume they know the right path to take.

00:37:46.670 --> 00:37:53.719 Mira Brancu: And they say you should do this. They're unwilling to consider multiple alternatives that the leader may have already considered.

00:37:54.930 --> 00:37:57.380 Mira Brancu: They question and criticize their boss in public.

00:37:57.940 --> 00:38:01.019 Mira Brancu: maybe derailing meetings that affect the other team members.

00:38:01.780 --> 00:38:05.930 Mira Brancu: Sometimes they're manipulating leaders to make decisions that are self-serving

00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:08.149 Mira Brancu: but not serving the team goals.

00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:11.580 Mira Brancu: They might hide the truth to spare the leader.

00:38:12.170 --> 00:38:16.930 Mira Brancu: They might use it to suck up, they might externalize. Blame. Right? That's not managing up.

00:38:17.340 --> 00:38:20.429 Mira Brancu: That's not managing up. We're talking about

00:38:21.080 --> 00:38:22.160 Mira Brancu: joining

00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:23.040 Mira Brancu: up.

00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:28.980 Mira Brancu: This is where we left off. And what we came to when I was talking with

00:38:29.170 --> 00:38:30.340 Mira Brancu: Shari Dade

00:38:30.570 --> 00:38:39.500 Mira Brancu: on her audacity, audacity to fail podcast is that maybe we were like, maybe we shouldn't be calling it managing up. Maybe we should be calling it. Joining up right.

00:38:39.900 --> 00:38:44.990 Mira Brancu: developing healthy, trusting, helping relationships at work is a 2 way street.

00:38:45.560 --> 00:38:49.259 Mira Brancu: even when there's a power. Differential leaders are human, too.

00:38:49.480 --> 00:38:52.310 Mira Brancu: I've been one. I'm still human.

00:38:52.790 --> 00:38:55.000 Mira Brancu: They have their own personal baggage

00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:56.989 Mira Brancu: things that stress them out

00:38:57.070 --> 00:38:59.430 Mira Brancu: bad days, just like everyone else

00:38:59.680 --> 00:39:02.190 Mira Brancu: they had. They probably had your job once.

00:39:02.660 --> 00:39:03.809 Mira Brancu: They're human

00:39:04.340 --> 00:39:08.700 Mira Brancu: and they're still human in their leadership role. I was.

00:39:09.390 --> 00:39:15.089 Mira Brancu: I didn't know everything right? So a little empathy and trust building goes a really, really long way.

00:39:15.350 --> 00:39:16.910 Mira Brancu: Everyone benefits

00:39:17.340 --> 00:39:24.339 Mira Brancu: when we work towards creating mutual helping relationships, where the primary question is, how can I help make this better?

00:39:24.600 --> 00:39:26.890 Mira Brancu: How can I catch you instead of

00:39:27.130 --> 00:39:28.909 Mira Brancu: how can I catch you in the act

00:39:29.390 --> 00:39:30.719 Mira Brancu: of making mistake

00:39:30.940 --> 00:39:33.949 Mira Brancu: and shame you for it, right? Like nobody likes that.

00:39:34.310 --> 00:39:37.050 Mira Brancu: Okay, so here's how you can get started.

00:39:37.240 --> 00:39:37.990 Mira Brancu: Him

00:39:38.870 --> 00:39:40.849 Mira Brancu: number one, empathize.

00:39:41.550 --> 00:39:46.400 Mira Brancu: Get to know your boss's pain points or your leaders. Pain points

00:39:46.810 --> 00:39:48.639 Mira Brancu: what seems to stress them out.

00:39:48.930 --> 00:39:51.790 Mira Brancu: What do they talk about? Often that seems important to them.

00:39:52.290 --> 00:39:54.880 Mira Brancu: Is it a new boss? Can you help orient them?

00:39:55.070 --> 00:40:00.379 Mira Brancu: Does the boss seem to over deliberate on certain decisions? How can you help them

00:40:00.610 --> 00:40:03.410 Mira Brancu: not get so overwhelmed with those decisions?

00:40:03.510 --> 00:40:04.320 Mira Brancu: Right?

00:40:05.810 --> 00:40:09.490 Mira Brancu: Recognize that being a leader is really hard

00:40:09.620 --> 00:40:16.250 Mira Brancu: right now, harder than ever. If you're in a leadership role looking to your leaders, above you or above that.

00:40:16.430 --> 00:40:23.630 Mira Brancu: you know it gets lonelier and lonelier the higher level you go. You have very few people you could trust to rely on.

00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:31.200 Mira Brancu: People are constantly questioning and criticizing you, or they're sucking up and telling you lives to get closer to you

00:40:32.170 --> 00:40:32.990 Mira Brancu: right.

00:40:33.550 --> 00:40:35.880 Mira Brancu: You can be the one person

00:40:36.220 --> 00:40:38.970 Mira Brancu: offering support and being an ally.

00:40:39.770 --> 00:40:43.159 Mira Brancu: and in a way that also supports other people in yourself. Right?

00:40:43.580 --> 00:40:46.330 Mira Brancu: Okay. So number 2, bring value.

00:40:47.520 --> 00:40:53.469 Mira Brancu: What information or perspective are you privy to that? Your leader might have a blind spot to.

00:40:53.960 --> 00:40:57.299 Mira Brancu: Can you share it in a way that's useful and received? Well.

00:40:58.190 --> 00:41:01.230 Mira Brancu: can you help them? Avoid an embarrassing moment

00:41:01.820 --> 00:41:04.718 Mira Brancu: like, for example, something simple would be like, Hey,

00:41:05.510 --> 00:41:06.830 Mira Brancu: that slide

00:41:06.990 --> 00:41:14.239 Mira Brancu: is written in a way that it might send kind of the wrong message about favoritism. Can I suggest? Maybe adjusting it this way.

00:41:15.100 --> 00:41:15.830 Mira Brancu: Kate.

00:41:16.730 --> 00:41:22.029 Mira Brancu: Remember, if you give feedback label the person I mean the the pad or not the person right?

00:41:22.460 --> 00:41:26.730 Mira Brancu: So it might be something like, you know, I've been. I've been thinking about this policy that we have.

00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:28.789 Mira Brancu: and I'm really stuck on something.

00:41:29.806 --> 00:41:31.280 Mira Brancu: If we

00:41:31.593 --> 00:41:34.630 Mira Brancu: have this policy in this way. It might set precedent.

00:41:35.050 --> 00:41:45.939 Mira Brancu: and it could lead to you know, only funding the employees who already have higher salaries, and I'm sure that's not what you meant, but I'm wondering if we could adjust it in some way

00:41:46.590 --> 00:41:47.380 Mira Brancu: right?

00:41:48.505 --> 00:41:50.180 Mira Brancu: Another way to show value.

00:41:50.270 --> 00:41:51.539 Mira Brancu: Give them a heads up.

00:41:51.830 --> 00:41:58.899 Mira Brancu: the heads up is huge. I loved when people get just gave me a heads up because leaders hate being blindsided

00:41:59.190 --> 00:42:02.210 Mira Brancu: right, anticipate what they might need to know.

00:42:02.490 --> 00:42:04.090 Mira Brancu: and if it's high stakes.

00:42:04.470 --> 00:42:06.230 Mira Brancu: or could be in the news

00:42:06.780 --> 00:42:09.280 Mira Brancu: or high visibility.

00:42:09.650 --> 00:42:12.409 Mira Brancu: say, hey, I just wanted to give you a heads up.

00:42:12.784 --> 00:42:21.909 Mira Brancu: I know we're gonna be doing this presentation. I know this one stakeholder is gonna be attending, and there might be like a lot of media attention.

00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:27.053 Mira Brancu: Anything that I should know to prepare anything that we should be thinking about.

00:42:27.820 --> 00:42:30.630 Mira Brancu: Here's what I was thinking. Let me know what you think

00:42:30.970 --> 00:42:31.720 Mira Brancu: right.

00:42:34.970 --> 00:42:38.770 Mira Brancu: Managing up also does not mean agreeing or getting along with.

00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:40.759 Mira Brancu: And it doesn't mean manipulating.

00:42:40.900 --> 00:42:44.139 Mira Brancu: It just means creating a trusting relationship

00:42:44.590 --> 00:42:47.200 Mira Brancu: and finding ways to join with

00:42:48.100 --> 00:42:49.550 Mira Brancu: the problem solving.

00:42:50.450 --> 00:42:51.790 Mira Brancu: Okay, now.

00:42:52.656 --> 00:42:56.099 Mira Brancu: let's say that you feel you've been doing all of this.

00:42:56.400 --> 00:43:00.069 Mira Brancu: But you sense your leader is reacting in a negative way.

00:43:00.900 --> 00:43:03.190 Mira Brancu: I want you to ask yourself some questions.

00:43:04.300 --> 00:43:09.279 Mira Brancu: Do they feel? Did do they appear defensive? If so, am I pushing too hard?

00:43:09.530 --> 00:43:13.850 Mira Brancu: Did I get all the information, or are they trying to tell me? I don't have all the information.

00:43:14.910 --> 00:43:19.109 Mira Brancu: Are they non responsive because they're overwhelmed?

00:43:19.180 --> 00:43:20.369 Mira Brancu: Can I help with that?

00:43:21.520 --> 00:43:26.089 Mira Brancu: Is it a personality thing like? Are they introverted or highly organized?

00:43:27.130 --> 00:43:32.819 Mira Brancu: And if so, maybe I need to show up in a more structured way, or with an agenda instead of on the fly?

00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:38.299 Mira Brancu: Have I already expressed how much I see and appreciate what they've already done?

00:43:38.810 --> 00:43:40.549 Mira Brancu: Or did I just launch into it?

00:43:41.220 --> 00:43:43.310 Mira Brancu: Have I approached with curiosity

00:43:44.170 --> 00:43:45.550 Mira Brancu: and wanting to learn

00:43:46.390 --> 00:43:47.250 Mira Brancu: or not?

00:43:47.740 --> 00:43:50.339 Mira Brancu: Have I actually asked if they want help

00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:53.320 Mira Brancu: or just started launching into it? Right?

00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:54.630 Mira Brancu: Okay.

00:43:54.930 --> 00:43:55.770 Mira Brancu: So

00:43:55.890 --> 00:44:02.748 Mira Brancu: I've talked a lot about the managing up piece. There's a lot more in my book. You can look at that. Okay,

00:44:03.800 --> 00:44:06.689 Mira Brancu: But let's go back to Shauna's more nuanced

00:44:06.750 --> 00:44:08.330 Mira Brancu: question now. Okay.

00:44:08.610 --> 00:44:11.590 Mira Brancu: she wants to be able to do 2 things.

00:44:11.940 --> 00:44:13.430 Mira Brancu: One is

00:44:13.758 --> 00:44:18.080 Mira Brancu: be successful in her current role. Managing up. We talked about that piece right?

00:44:19.140 --> 00:44:23.510 Mira Brancu: But the second piece is being able to be seen as capable

00:44:23.720 --> 00:44:31.179 Mira Brancu: and incredibly credible and visible as a potential

00:44:31.210 --> 00:44:33.469 Mira Brancu: higher level leader.

00:44:34.110 --> 00:44:35.150 Mira Brancu: and

00:44:36.850 --> 00:44:53.109 Mira Brancu: to not be undermined or questioned by her next in line. Boss, right? She says. I'm invited by higher level leaders that are above my boss in the organization to share my thoughts. But my boss doesn't want me to be there. He says things like you don't need to be in that meeting. Why did you go to that.

00:44:54.060 --> 00:44:54.780 Mira Brancu: hey?

00:44:56.330 --> 00:45:03.669 Mira Brancu: we're going to answer that question when we come back from the ad break you're reaching we're reaching an ad break.

00:45:03.710 --> 00:45:08.179 Mira Brancu: and you're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branco.

00:45:08.490 --> 00:45:10.380 Mira Brancu: and we'll be right back in just a moment.

00:47:14.710 --> 00:47:24.359 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Bronku. We have just been talking about managing up, and we were moving into Shauna's

00:47:24.410 --> 00:47:26.649 Mira Brancu: second piece of her question.

00:47:26.750 --> 00:47:37.230 Mira Brancu: which is, she's been invited by her, you know these higher level leaders to come to certain things because they see some value in what she has to bring. But her direct boss

00:47:37.300 --> 00:47:40.790 Mira Brancu: is sounding like he's not as comfortable with that. Now.

00:47:41.510 --> 00:47:43.840 Mira Brancu: We don't have all the information here. Okay.

00:47:44.060 --> 00:47:49.820 Mira Brancu: while we can make a whole lot of assumptions like whether he feels threatened by her presence.

00:47:50.326 --> 00:47:56.189 Mira Brancu: You know, or the invitation versus simply trying to maintain the rules of the meeting.

00:47:56.210 --> 00:48:00.769 Mira Brancu: We don't have that information right? That is something I would obviously talk with Shawn about.

00:48:01.567 --> 00:48:18.829 Mira Brancu: To get more information right. So I would first wanna hear from her. You know, if she's already tried to talk with her boss about it right? I would want her to first talk with him about. Hey, boss? Your leader invited me to that, but it sounds like you feel like I shouldn't be there.

00:48:18.900 --> 00:48:23.010 Mira Brancu: Can you say more about your concerns, so I can understand how to navigate the situation.

00:48:24.100 --> 00:48:28.520 Mira Brancu: So she's leaning in with curiosity. Right? She's not making judgements.

00:48:29.550 --> 00:48:30.779 Mira Brancu: just asking

00:48:31.750 --> 00:48:33.719 Mira Brancu: at the same time, though.

00:48:34.660 --> 00:48:42.610 Mira Brancu: I would also want her to talk with a leader who invited her in the first place, because they might not realize this is a situation that they've created.

00:48:42.980 --> 00:48:46.760 Mira Brancu: Hey, leader, does my boss know that you've invited me to this?

00:48:46.840 --> 00:48:48.599 Mira Brancu: Is it okay that I attend?

00:48:48.880 --> 00:48:52.320 Mira Brancu: Will this cause any confusion or cause my boss to feel undermined.

00:48:53.020 --> 00:48:54.510 Mira Brancu: So again.

00:48:54.640 --> 00:49:00.379 Mira Brancu: you're managing up because you're anticipating potential problems. You're helping them think through it.

00:49:00.600 --> 00:49:04.059 Mira Brancu: And you're helping them step into helping you

00:49:04.120 --> 00:49:05.600 Mira Brancu: address the problem

00:49:05.990 --> 00:49:06.810 Mira Brancu: right?

00:49:09.190 --> 00:49:12.629 Mira Brancu: those leaders need to understand there's power dynamics here.

00:49:12.970 --> 00:49:15.900 Mira Brancu: and not all leaders attend to those things.

00:49:16.030 --> 00:49:20.589 Mira Brancu: Right? So your job is just to sort of bring it to the forefront

00:49:21.050 --> 00:49:37.510 Mira Brancu: and work with your leaders to make sure that the ones who are sending the message to her to invite are also sending a message to her boss that an invitation has been extended. So she isn't put in a weird situation between 2 people who have way, more power than she does.

00:49:37.960 --> 00:49:42.460 Mira Brancu: And then 2 people who also have a power differential between them.

00:49:42.620 --> 00:49:43.390 Mira Brancu: Pipe.

00:49:43.970 --> 00:49:44.770 Mira Brancu: Okay?

00:49:45.290 --> 00:49:55.630 Mira Brancu: Depending on the relationships between these 3 or more people. I might even help her develop a plan to get both of them in the same room, discussing her role

00:49:55.710 --> 00:49:58.420 Mira Brancu: at these meetings with her there.

00:49:58.990 --> 00:50:00.920 Mira Brancu: That would be the ideal situation.

00:50:01.930 --> 00:50:02.800 Mira Brancu: Okay?

00:50:04.830 --> 00:50:12.280 Mira Brancu: you can find out more from my millennials. Guide to workplace politics book, or just reach out to me. If you feel like you, you'd like more coaching around that right?

00:50:12.640 --> 00:50:14.930 Mira Brancu: But let's move on to the third question.

00:50:16.344 --> 00:50:18.080 Mira Brancu: This comes from Margaret.

00:50:18.310 --> 00:50:22.040 Mira Brancu: She asks. How should I manage relationships at work

00:50:22.190 --> 00:50:26.510 Mira Brancu: where I've entered into a leadership role? But they have not.

00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:29.149 Mira Brancu: And we started out as friends.

00:50:29.200 --> 00:50:31.070 Mira Brancu: And I want to keep it friendly.

00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:31.970 Mira Brancu: Oh.

00:50:32.170 --> 00:50:33.490 Mira Brancu: with boundaries.

00:50:34.100 --> 00:50:35.020 Mira Brancu: Okay.

00:50:35.570 --> 00:50:37.410 Mira Brancu: this is really challenging.

00:50:38.100 --> 00:50:45.299 Mira Brancu: Okay, it's challenging, though, only if you already had developed a very close relationship or friendship

00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:49.450 Mira Brancu: that went beyond beyond the boundaries of the work setting.

00:50:51.480 --> 00:50:55.929 Mira Brancu: So let me just start by saying, in the ideal situation, in my ideal situation

00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:08.120 Mira Brancu: you recognize that you always need to keep things professional with folks that work, because you never know how those relationship will change over time if you both stick around in the company. Okay.

00:51:08.830 --> 00:51:15.819 Mira Brancu: but for better or for worse, whatever. Many people find lifelong friendships at work.

00:51:16.290 --> 00:51:19.919 Mira Brancu: and they start spending time outside of work. And when you do that

00:51:20.120 --> 00:51:27.849 Mira Brancu: again, in an ideal world you would try not to break down too many boundaries that would put either of you in a weird future situation.

00:51:28.370 --> 00:51:34.999 Mira Brancu: Sometimes it's hard to avoid when we spend so much time with folks at work, and we develop such wonderful strong connections.

00:51:35.050 --> 00:51:36.750 Mira Brancu: And so, with all of that, said.

00:51:37.560 --> 00:51:40.169 Mira Brancu: if you've already broken down

00:51:40.450 --> 00:51:45.090 Mira Brancu: many boundaries in order to develop a strong friendship outside of work.

00:51:45.470 --> 00:51:48.100 Mira Brancu: if that friendship truly is based

00:51:48.230 --> 00:51:50.980 Mira Brancu: on mutual respect and support.

00:51:51.200 --> 00:51:54.419 Mira Brancu: it should be able to handle tough conversations about

00:51:54.590 --> 00:51:56.449 Mira Brancu: needed changes to the friendship.

00:51:57.290 --> 00:51:59.186 Mira Brancu: So conversations like, hey?

00:51:59.930 --> 00:52:05.839 Mira Brancu: Now that I'm going to be moving into this leadership role. Can we talk about how things might change and how to handle that between us?

00:52:05.880 --> 00:52:09.159 Mira Brancu: I had a friend do that with me, and I thought that was very thoughtful of her.

00:52:09.810 --> 00:52:13.320 Mira Brancu: I'd like us to provide to preserve our friendship right? But

00:52:13.380 --> 00:52:15.390 Mira Brancu: I recognize there are things

00:52:15.550 --> 00:52:19.309 Mira Brancu: that would impact my ability to do a good job in my new role

00:52:19.790 --> 00:52:22.270 Mira Brancu: like I can't play favoritism.

00:52:22.710 --> 00:52:30.300 Mira Brancu: I will always support and cheer you on if I've seen your work directly, but I can easily. Also.

00:52:30.520 --> 00:52:43.709 Mira Brancu: you know, worry that you're gonna want to position. And I'm not gonna be in a position to help you, and that might look bad for both of us. What can we do about that to protect my credibility and integrity as well as yours?

00:52:44.820 --> 00:52:49.580 Mira Brancu: Right? And then you might want to think about like, how do we handle office parties?

00:52:49.874 --> 00:52:55.629 Mira Brancu: How will we handle decisions where you're not gonna like it? But I have to keep the entire organization in mind.

00:52:55.810 --> 00:52:56.610 Mira Brancu: Right?

00:52:57.480 --> 00:52:58.720 Mira Brancu: So, Margaret.

00:52:58.830 --> 00:53:00.960 Mira Brancu: the final thing to know about it is

00:53:02.035 --> 00:53:03.999 Mira Brancu: relationships do change

00:53:04.270 --> 00:53:06.200 Mira Brancu: when you change roles at work.

00:53:06.370 --> 00:53:09.360 Mira Brancu: It's something to anticipate. It's something to expect.

00:53:09.530 --> 00:53:10.860 Mira Brancu: You will find out

00:53:11.380 --> 00:53:16.590 Mira Brancu: how people handle it, and you might be disappointed. Sometimes

00:53:16.630 --> 00:53:19.940 Mira Brancu: you might end up feeling betrayed and hurt sometimes

00:53:20.090 --> 00:53:25.039 Mira Brancu: right, you will end up seeing who can handle it, who will be rooting for you.

00:53:25.370 --> 00:53:28.979 Mira Brancu: who will be proactively supporting you.

00:53:29.900 --> 00:53:33.000 Mira Brancu: and who might not be able to handle it.

00:53:33.570 --> 00:53:42.959 Mira Brancu: Remember that you cannot control someone else's feelings and what they choose to do about what's happened to you in your professional situation. The only thing you could do

00:53:43.190 --> 00:53:49.409 Mira Brancu: is stay consistent. Stay thoughtful. Try to sort of anticipate

00:53:49.860 --> 00:53:51.530 Mira Brancu: and have the conversation

00:53:52.030 --> 00:53:52.800 Mira Brancu: pipe.

00:53:53.570 --> 00:53:54.420 Mira Brancu: Okay?

00:53:55.319 --> 00:54:01.249 Mira Brancu: The final question. I'm going to be real brief about this one. It's about future proofing your career.

00:54:01.360 --> 00:54:05.070 Mira Brancu: Many women in my towerscope Leadership Academy.

00:54:05.819 --> 00:54:14.210 Mira Brancu: Not just to develop their leadership identity, their leadership lens, their leadership strengths, but also as part of their process

00:54:14.580 --> 00:54:19.009 Mira Brancu: to keep upskilling and developing their strong transferable skills.

00:54:19.080 --> 00:54:25.000 Mira Brancu: So they're already ahead of the game by being growth oriented and curious about their next steps.

00:54:26.495 --> 00:54:36.559 Mira Brancu: I will just say that I wrote a lot about staying up to date and ready for future opportunities in a psychology today. 7 part series. I'm gonna put that in the show notes.

00:54:37.630 --> 00:54:40.070 Mira Brancu: I'm going to post the seventh part

00:54:40.850 --> 00:54:42.149 Mira Brancu: in the show notes.

00:54:42.800 --> 00:54:47.139 Mira Brancu: and that seventh part has the links to all the other 7 sections.

00:54:48.180 --> 00:54:51.089 Mira Brancu: I'm also going to recommend my colleague's book.

00:54:51.150 --> 00:54:53.549 Mira Brancu: Professional Careers by design.

00:54:53.770 --> 00:54:58.399 Mira Brancu: Okay, by Sharon Hall. I had her on Episode 37,

00:54:58.660 --> 00:55:03.219 Mira Brancu: I think, strategically designing a career. That matters is what that episode was about.

00:55:03.350 --> 00:55:06.759 Mira Brancu: And I'm gonna add that to the show notes as well.

00:55:08.074 --> 00:55:11.119 Mira Brancu: But let's review some important tactics. You can take. Okay.

00:55:11.420 --> 00:55:15.980 Mira Brancu: number one, develop a board of directors that includes mentors.

00:55:16.070 --> 00:55:17.550 Mira Brancu: Many mentors.

00:55:18.337 --> 00:55:19.470 Mira Brancu: Not just one.

00:55:19.670 --> 00:55:29.620 Mira Brancu: People who can give you feedback tell you the truth, live you know, up to your standards, root for you, connect you to people and opportunities

00:55:30.280 --> 00:55:33.590 Mira Brancu: could be influential people. Past coworkers, peers

00:55:34.750 --> 00:55:36.529 Mira Brancu: number 2 volunteer.

00:55:36.980 --> 00:55:43.459 Mira Brancu: This is the most underrated activity that leads to future opportunities, experiences, networking

00:55:43.510 --> 00:55:44.750 Mira Brancu: connections.

00:55:45.070 --> 00:55:45.860 Mira Brancu: hey.

00:55:47.170 --> 00:55:50.840 Mira Brancu: create a resume that can be used for lots of different purposes

00:55:50.900 --> 00:55:52.400 Mira Brancu: that you can pull from.

00:55:52.600 --> 00:55:54.719 Mira Brancu: including your volunteer work.

00:55:55.270 --> 00:55:57.829 Mira Brancu: including informal leadership roles.

00:55:58.110 --> 00:56:00.930 Mira Brancu: Okay, for example, did you coach people in your role

00:56:01.090 --> 00:56:02.550 Mira Brancu: informally? Even

00:56:02.830 --> 00:56:05.699 Mira Brancu: did you consult informally in your role?

00:56:05.900 --> 00:56:07.650 Mira Brancu: Did you get trained to do something

00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:11.040 Mira Brancu: when you got trained? Can you describe the activities

00:56:11.480 --> 00:56:21.280 Mira Brancu: and the audience and the organization and the outcomes? All of that helps and then create and update your linkedin profile with all of that information to demonstrate your expertise

00:56:22.680 --> 00:56:27.629 Mira Brancu: and then start writing about those ideas and sharing those ideas right?

00:56:28.680 --> 00:56:31.720 Mira Brancu: Ultimately, you're growing visibility.

00:56:31.760 --> 00:56:33.250 Mira Brancu: your expertise.

00:56:34.770 --> 00:56:40.759 Mira Brancu: Let me stop there. I threw a lot of information at you 4 different questions super in depth.

00:56:41.010 --> 00:56:43.319 Mira Brancu: If you want to keep learning and growing with me.

00:56:44.070 --> 00:56:51.640 Mira Brancu: the stuff we talk about on this show is part of our research-based model that we teach in our towerscope Leadership Academy

00:56:52.130 --> 00:57:02.899 Mira Brancu: a private coaching and learning community for socially conscious growth, oriented, high achieving women leaders who work in disrupted industries, looking to find their leadership path and make a greater impact.

00:57:04.160 --> 00:57:08.800 Mira Brancu: There is a tremendous opportunity that comes with the leadership role, but

00:57:09.140 --> 00:57:11.890 Mira Brancu: it can be accompanied by

00:57:12.380 --> 00:57:19.560 Mira Brancu: an unsettling mix of all kinds of workplace politics and societal expectations. This is what we talk about

00:57:19.990 --> 00:57:31.440 Mira Brancu: right, not being blindsided, addressing workplace politics, addressing problematic team dynamics, gaining more clarity and agency to become more effective in leading how you want to lead

00:57:31.890 --> 00:57:37.350 Mira Brancu: and doing it through a community to connect you with like-minded people who can elevate and inspire

00:57:37.380 --> 00:57:39.060 Mira Brancu: and hold you accountable.

00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:43.250 Mira Brancu: So check us

00:57:43.890 --> 00:57:45.990 Mira Brancu: and click on Leadership Academy.

00:57:46.940 --> 00:57:51.220 Mira Brancu: Thank you today to talk radio Nyc for hosting

00:57:51.460 --> 00:58:08.559 Mira Brancu: share with us on Linkedin at Mirabranku or talk radio, dot. Nyc, what you took away. And importantly, what's one small change you can implement this week. So we can cheer you on. You can also find us on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and twitch, and

00:58:08.780 --> 00:58:10.600 Mira Brancu: it turns into a podcast

00:58:10.660 --> 00:58:16.370 Mira Brancu: so please like share. Offer reviews. And we will respond.

00:58:17.310 --> 00:58:21.179 Mira Brancu: Thank you. Again, I'm Dr. Mira Branco, the host of the hard skills

00:58:21.270 --> 00:58:24.280 Mira Brancu: have a great rest of your day wherever you're tuning in from.

download this episode of