The Hard Skills

Tuesday, March 12, 2024
Facebook Live Video from 2024/03/12 - Authenticity Life Audit: When and Why it Matters in Your Career

Facebook Live Video from 2024/03/12 - Authenticity Life Audit: When and Why it Matters in Your Career


2024/03/12 - Authenticity Life Audit: When and Why it Matters in Your Career

[NEW EPISODE] Authenticity Life Audit: When and Why it Matters in Your Career

Tuesdays 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EDT)                              


There is a lot of hype about authenticity, making us feel like unabashed authenticity is the panacea: a path to success for all. That’s not the case, and we’ve all met the people that we wish would be a little bit *less* authentic. Listeners to this episode will be invited to consider:

1.        What authenticity actually is (and is not)

2.        That being authentic is a form of privilege (we don’t all have equal access!)

3.        That authenticity is important if and only if authenticity is important to you (values matter). 

4.        If authenticity is important, how it can be harnessed and utilized at every point in the career journey. 

Authenticity is a current buzzword and authentic leadership is an exploding topic of interest. But do we really understand what it means? Is it something we should all pursue? Do all people have equal and equitable access to pursuing it? This episode pulls listeners back from the ‘authenticity as panacea’ mindset and takes the construct on a DeLorean ride back to its philosophical, sociological, and psychological roots. We’ll spend time exploring whether authenticity is universally important for leaders (or just for leaders that find authenticity important), consider nuanced ways about what authenticity might mean for and to you, and finally, in cases where authenticity does matter, give thought to how to strategically map out a dynamic and authentic career from start point to end point (spoiler alert: life audits required). 

Dr. Alexis Franzese is the Department Chair and an Associate Professor for the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at Elon University, and a licensed psychologist with a small private practice. With academic training in the fields of sociology and psychology, her teaching and research interests are at the intersection of these fields and her main area of expertise is within issues of self, identity, and well-being.  She is especially passionate about her study of authenticity- being one’s true self and is currently conducting research on authenticity and identity within travel and tourism, with Disney as a strategic domain of focus. Her work has been published within edited volumes and other peer-reviewed collections, including journals that span the breadth of her scholarly interests. She is a graduate of Union College (B.A.) and Duke University where she completed two separate doctoral degrees, in sociology and in psychology (clinical).  She loves debating the ethics of authenticity and tries to incorporate her knowledge into her own approach and adventures.

 #authenticity, #identity, #privilege #leadershipdevelopment #careerdevelopment #TheHardSkills

Tune in for this empowering conversation at

Show Notes

Segment  1

In the initial segment, Mira introduced Dr. Alexis Franzese as the guest. During the icebreaker question, Alexis shared her personal journey of discovering the meaning of authenticity and her own definition of it, stating, “...acting in what you really believe in and what you really are." She further emphasized the importance of self-awareness, noting, "...we know within ourselves because we know what is real for us.'" Mira contributed to the discussion by acknowledging the common tendency for individuals to become defensive when confronted with discrepancies between their perceived and actual behavior. She highlighted the significance of pausing to reflect on one's actions and deciding on an appropriate response. In society, there is often an expectation to conform to predefined roles and behaviors, yet individuals are dynamic and capable of growth. Therefore, it can be beneficial to communicate efforts towards personal development and share insights into newfound perspectives and progress towards becoming a better version.

Segment 2

This segment delved into Alexis’ encounter with the concept of authenticity in consumer products. During her studies in the early 2000s, she observed the widespread use of the term "authentic," particularly in the context of travel and notably within Disney's environment. Alex noted Disney's meticulous creation of an idealized "main street," which attracted attention from architects and urban planners seeking inspiration for real-world city planning. She highlighted Disney's ability to evoke nostalgia through carefully curated visuals and even the introduction of scents into the air to enhance the visitor experience. While Disney effectively simulates authenticity to foster repeat visits, there's a concern that this approach could be perceived as manipulative.  Regarding leadership, Alexis distinguished between sincerity, which she viewed as relational and interactive, and authenticity, which she described as self-referential. She pointed out that most people can discern when authenticity is being performed, particularly in a workplace setting. Therefore, it's crucial to assess whether the environment allows individuals to genuinely express themselves and lead effectively, while also supporting and encouraging others to do the same.

Segment 3

This segment focuses on authenticity in the workplace, addressing the ongoing debate about whether individuals should feel empowered to express themselves while remaining authentic. It highlights the distinction between transparency and being overly boundaryless. In essence, one can still embody authentic leadership without feeling obligated to reveal every aspect of themselves or overshare to the point of crossing appropriate boundaries.  The discussion then transitions to the topic of audits, emphasizing the value of seeking professional guidance such as therapy or coaching to identify and address leadership and identity goals. However, it's also acknowledged that individuals can undertake this process independently if they choose to do so.

Segment 4

This segment initially delved into how individuals recognize the need for guidance in determining whether a job aligns with their values and authentic selves, especially when they feel exhausted and unable to reconcile their personal values with workplace conditions. This discussion intertwined with the concept of belonging and the sense of welcome in a workplace environment.  During an audit, it's essential to evaluate one's feelings of exhaustion and potential entrapment in the workplace, as well as assess the environmental factors contributing to these emotions. This includes considering whether there are opportunities for growth or if one feels undervalued or exploited. Alexis outlined two steps in conducting a life/career audit. The first step involves identifying micro-moments of authenticity or inauthenticity. The second step entails implementing a "manual override" to adjust actions and potentially seek guidance from role models to refine one's authentic self. Ultimately, it's about recognizing what resonates personally and applying those insights to one's life. 


00:00:36.090 --> 00:00:53.280 Mira Brancu: Welcome to the hard skills show with me, Dr. Mira Branku, and today's guest is Dr. Alexis, Francis, and we'll be talking about when authenticity matters, and how to use it. To cultivate your career with her. So great to have you on the show. Alexis.

00:00:54.060 --> 00:01:22.740 Mira Brancu: Hi, thank you so much for having me. Yeah, absolutely. Now, on this show, we discuss how to develop the nuanced hard skills needed to drive significant systemic change to make a real impact through your leadership. So be ready. Take notes. I always do reflect deeply, especially with Alexis. Here. She's going to have you reflecting deeply. I promise and identify at least one small step to further develop your hard skills muscle.

00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:25.809 Mira Brancu: Now, a little bit about our guest today.

00:01:25.830 --> 00:01:38.119 Mira Brancu: Doctor Frenzies is the department chair and an associate professor for the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at Elon University, and a license psychology with a small private practice

00:01:38.880 --> 00:01:56.029 Mira Brancu: with academic training in not one, but 2 Phds. In Sociology and Psychology from Duke University. Her teaching and research interests are at the intersection of these fields, and her main area of expertise is within issues of self

00:01:56.080 --> 00:02:00.539 Mira Brancu: identity and well being with a special interest in authenticity.

00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:15.269 Mira Brancu: her work has been published in a variety of journals and books that span the breadth of her scholarly interest, and she loves debating the ethics of authenticity, tries to incorporate her knowledge into her own approach and adventures.

00:02:15.320 --> 00:02:16.620 Mira Brancu: So

00:02:16.630 --> 00:02:24.710 Mira Brancu: this is, gonna be good. This is, gonna be good. Alexis, let's find let's start with like just a fun. Icebreaker kind of question.

00:02:25.390 --> 00:02:31.629 Mira Brancu: When was the first time you felt the experience or thrill of authenticity for yourself?

00:02:33.540 --> 00:02:41.720 Alexis Franzese: Okay? So I started thinking about authenticity. Like many other people in middle school.

00:02:42.030 --> 00:03:02.160 Alexis Franzese: And looking back, this isn't really surprising, because there's a developmental psychologist, Susan Harder, who identified that around age 11 is when we start thinking about the idea of a true self, and realizing that there might be true self and false, be self behavior, just that some some choices feel more like me and less like me.

00:03:02.740 --> 00:03:06.770 Alexis Franzese: And so I remembered being in middle school.

00:03:06.880 --> 00:03:21.049 Alexis Franzese: and there's lots of mean things that could say to each other in middle school, and one main thing that I was hearing really stood out to me, and it was when people would call others posers. I don't know if you remember that term.

00:03:21.380 --> 00:03:32.010 Alexis Franzese: I just felt like the absolute, worst possible insult to me, because it says you are not who you claim to be. And so I remember as a middle schooler, thinking.

00:03:32.130 --> 00:03:41.730 Alexis Franzese: Oof, whatever I am, I'll be anything. But I don't want to be that. And then, realizing that that was going to be very hard work to not

00:03:41.910 --> 00:03:47.789 Alexis Franzese: try to be something I was, and then to figure out who I actually was. And I'm still working on that now in my mid 40 s.

00:03:48.430 --> 00:03:54.690 Mira Brancu: Totally. I was just talking to my spouse the other day about

00:03:55.150 --> 00:04:17.810 Mira Brancu: how? We learn all of these messages early on, and it takes decades to unlearn what doesn't apply actually to us right? And the experience, especially for women and and marginalized people, underserved under represented people is even more so because there's a complexity of messages that happen.

00:04:17.930 --> 00:04:22.030 Mira Brancu: For for them. And

00:04:22.070 --> 00:04:23.510 Mira Brancu: you know that

00:04:23.740 --> 00:04:26.680 Mira Brancu: it. It's so hard

00:04:26.790 --> 00:04:34.549 Mira Brancu: to unlearn those messages because you believe them right? I mean, they're all around us. So If

00:04:34.690 --> 00:04:36.740 Mira Brancu: if being called a poser

00:04:36.970 --> 00:04:40.279 Mira Brancu: is being called non-authentic, right

00:04:40.370 --> 00:04:43.220 Mira Brancu: then how do you define authenticity?

00:04:44.610 --> 00:04:47.560 Alexis Franzese: Great question. So

00:04:48.900 --> 00:05:02.720 Alexis Franzese: My my definition of authenticity has evolved over the years. But when I started studying it in graduate school, I was thinking about it as behavior. That is an alignment with the true self.

00:05:03.060 --> 00:05:05.600 Alexis Franzese: And the question of true self

00:05:05.740 --> 00:05:33.479 Alexis Franzese: is this, I see deep, complicated, philosophical question. And over the years I've tried to actually sidestep that question, and I could kind of pull into. Is there a true self? You know their spiritual religious beliefs about that. There's their cultural beliefs about that. There's so many different frameworks to the question of whether or not there's a true self. But for me. Authenticity is acting in a way, behaving in a way that matches what I really believe, what my values are

00:05:35.290 --> 00:05:40.319 Mira Brancu: interesting. Yeah, that makes sense. And so.

00:05:41.550 --> 00:05:46.129 Mira Brancu: how do we know? How do we know that? Yeah.

00:05:47.120 --> 00:06:08.669 Alexis Franzese: that's that's a good question, too, because it ties back to why the term poser bothered me so much. It bothered me so much because it was other people coming and saying and like you, pointed out voices of authority, and often privileged folks coming in and saying, you're not who you say you are, but I've always believed that authenticity is fully subjective.

00:06:08.670 --> 00:06:24.040 Alexis Franzese: I do not think it is something that other people can come in and tell us whether we are authentic or not. I think it is something we know within ourselves, and can only assess within ourselves, because we know our values and what is real for us.

00:06:24.690 --> 00:06:28.130 Mira Brancu: I really appreciate that. So this is

00:06:28.590 --> 00:06:40.120 Mira Brancu: reminding me of situations when you feel like you are behaving as your true self. and someone. even as adults.

00:06:40.300 --> 00:06:41.730 Mira Brancu: calls you.

00:06:41.800 --> 00:06:50.080 Mira Brancu:  out on doing something the opposite of what's meaningful to you, you know, like

00:06:50.170 --> 00:06:53.629 Mira Brancu: you let's say you

00:06:54.180 --> 00:06:58.830 Mira Brancu: usually approach everything with kindness and compassion

00:06:58.840 --> 00:07:03.599 Mira Brancu: and thoughtfulness, and someone says to you, you were acting

00:07:03.840 --> 00:07:05.619 Mira Brancu: like a complete jerk.

00:07:05.900 --> 00:07:26.710 Mira Brancu: And you are A selfish person, which is like the opposite of how you see yourself. How do you think about that reconciling between how you come off to other people, or you know, a specific individual, how you see yourself and the tension that's created.

00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:37.860 Alexis Franzese: I do think we can all engage in a fair amount of self self deception. And

00:07:38.960 --> 00:07:43.120 Alexis Franzese: sometimes, when people call us out in those ways.

00:07:43.610 --> 00:08:11.970 Alexis Franzese: they might be right, like. I think sometimes that can be an opportunity to look inward and think about why, somebody might see that discrepancy and consider that discrepancy was actually intentional for us. Okay, is there an aspirational version of myself? I was leaning into or away? I wanna move this company or this this project in making that choice or oops. Did I get off path for who I am? So I think, instead of a defensiveness to that

00:08:12.260 --> 00:08:27.600 Mira Brancu: that claim from somebody else. I think it really is an opportunity to check in about, am I walking the road that I want to walk? Is this the way I want to handle things? Yeah. And I really appreciate that like, our first reaction is to be extraordinarily defensive.

00:08:27.660 --> 00:08:50.920 Mira Brancu: Right? Like, that's not me. How dare they? You know? They're the one with the problem, etc., etc. And that might be. But first we need to take a pause, and the more you know yourself well enough, and you know, like what are my most consistent actions? What do people say about me most often? Have I gotten feedback about this? Have I explored this with

00:08:51.300 --> 00:09:05.730 Mira Brancu: others who know me really well, and who have seen my behaviors on a consistent basis. It does help us fine tune when necessary, or to say, I'm gonna let this go because this is about that person. It's not about me

00:09:06.580 --> 00:09:11.010 absolutely, and within that knowing oneself. Is not this

00:09:11.060 --> 00:09:31.010 Alexis Franzese: this task that we could check off our to do list. You know we are all dynamic. We're all hopefully changing, growing, evolving, and so knowing. If II might have known myself 5 years ago. But that doesn't actually mean I know myself now. So there's this constant need for the self audit of just tuning into yourself

00:09:31.060 --> 00:09:48.319 Alexis Franzese: and checking in with yourself. What do I want right now? What matters to me? What's my purpose right now? What is motivating me right now? And honestly, seeing that, and sometimes our motivations are just lovely ones that we would love. We would want to post on social media. And sometimes our motivations.

00:09:48.360 --> 00:10:07.429 Alexis Franzese: Are things that aren't as comfortable to say out loud, socially like, for example, somebody might have financial motivations for a certain move or a project but checking in with yourself about where you are really at. And if the ways you're acting match your values, I think, is an ongoing task across the life course.

00:10:07.820 --> 00:10:16.679 Mira Brancu: Yeah, for sure. And what comes up for me? I don't know if you've done some research on this or not. But what comes up for me when you're sort of sharing

00:10:16.820 --> 00:10:21.049 Mira Brancu: the the reality. That self-awareness

00:10:21.090 --> 00:10:36.509 Mira Brancu: is a dynamic thing that changes over time, right who we are, and what we, you know, value changes over time depending on context. And you know, changes to our lives.

00:10:36.690 --> 00:10:40.470 Mira Brancu: But from the perspective of others

00:10:40.890 --> 00:10:54.880 Mira Brancu: people find comfort and solace when they put us in a box and keep us there like, because, you know, once they see us in one way, they sort of made their assessment. They've made their judgment. And then, when you act differently from that.

00:10:55.250 --> 00:11:02.640 Mira Brancu: you know, it's it can be jarring for some people, and it it could be even things like we have a set of friends in high school

00:11:02.730 --> 00:11:05.719 Mira Brancu: over time. We all grow in different ways.

00:11:06.170 --> 00:11:14.479 Mira Brancu: People still rem. Remember you from how you were in high school and try to keep you in the box of. But in high school she was like this right? Well.

00:11:14.540 --> 00:11:22.009 Mira Brancu: 20 years later, you're not gonna be. Most of us are not gonna be quite like we weren't. Some of us will. Okay, but all of us.

00:11:22.100 --> 00:11:23.320 Mira Brancu: So

00:11:24.230 --> 00:11:28.730 Mira Brancu: I'm seeing all of that to to to wonder about like

00:11:29.150 --> 00:11:40.489 Mira Brancu: What are your thoughts? Or have have you done any research around this juxtaposition or difference between how people want to keep us stable.

00:11:40.850 --> 00:11:49.650 Mira Brancu: and get upset if we act differently versus our own growth change process that allows us to grow and

00:11:49.750 --> 00:11:51.690 Mira Brancu: adjust over time.

00:11:52.500 --> 00:11:55.350 Alexis Franzese: Yeah. So I haven't

00:11:56.010 --> 00:12:08.939 Alexis Franzese: done any research work on that topic. But from, you know, a decade plus of clinical experience, I've worked with people around this issue, and I think that sometimes it's necessary that we announce our changes.

00:12:09.050 --> 00:12:22.859 Alexis Franzese: That we actually give voice to that to reflect. So I've operated in this way. And II realize you're very used to me operating in this way. And I'm actually gonna do something different.

00:12:22.860 --> 00:12:50.820 Alexis Franzese: I actually sent letters to a few people in my life telling them that I was taking a vacation from certain think ways of being in 2024 and trying something new, because I've operated in some ways that I wanna do a little bit different, a little bit better, and orienting people to those changes because we can't blame people for getting used to the ways we are. We train people about how we are, who we are, how we act, what they can expect from us, and if we are changing the playbook of that.

00:12:51.040 --> 00:12:56.079 Alexis Franzese: it's reasonable to alert people to those changes. And of course

00:12:56.120 --> 00:13:11.610 Alexis Franzese: it will vary how much backstory we want to give somebody depending on the nature of the relationship about the reason for those changes, or you know, the context for that in a deeper way. But I think, announcing, it is important that people can join us in this new version of who we want to be.

00:13:11.990 --> 00:13:14.569 Mira Brancu: I absolutely love that and

00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:20.379 Mira Brancu: the the reason I love that is that it? It has such application

00:13:20.390 --> 00:13:31.470 Mira Brancu: to coaching as well. Right? You do that with your therapy clients. I do that often with my coaching clients. And the way that that we think about this is, if you're going to coaching.

00:13:31.520 --> 00:13:37.090 Mira Brancu: there's a reason for it, and that reason is, I would like to develop myself as a leader.

00:13:37.260 --> 00:13:50.000 Mira Brancu: and that causes change. And every time you change something in an organizational system, people react to it, and not always in a positive way. And they wanna put you back in the box right? And so

00:13:50.430 --> 00:14:07.830 Mira Brancu: one of the sort of ways to think about that. And this is part of stakeholder centered training coaching, which is developed by Marshall Goldsmith is he says, bring in the stakeholders that you most care about, like how they see you

00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:32.009 Mira Brancu: and start letting them know through a feed forward. And instead of a feedback mechanism. Hey? I want you to start expecting me to make some adjustments in this area. Give me feedback about how you see I'm doing I'd like you to sort of catch me when I'm doing it. Well, let me know when I'm not. Give me some feedback, and that way, like people join you in the change process instead of

00:14:32.010 --> 00:14:38.659 Mira Brancu: just constantly sort of catching you just doing the same old thing and wanting you to sort of

00:14:39.020 --> 00:15:03.380 Mira Brancu: see the the old patterns again. So love that when we we are reaching an outbreak. Let's take a pause here. When we come back. I wanna sort of explore how you're sort of applying this in the travel and tourism industry, especially Disney, that is so fascinating to me. So you are listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabu and our guest today, Dr. Alexis Francis.

00:15:03.670 --> 00:15:19.250 Mira Brancu: we air on Tuesdays at 5 pm. Eastern. If you'd like to join our audience online and ask questions. You can always join us on Linkedin or Youtube or Talkradio, Dot, Nyc. And we'll be right back with our guest in just a moment.

00:17:13.230 --> 00:17:16.790 and you

00:17:31.780 --> 00:17:37.489 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabu and our guest today, Dr. Alexis frenzies

00:17:37.770 --> 00:17:57.040 Mira Brancu: we just got done talking a little bit about how to sort of navigate understanding authenticity, applying it to our lives. The dynamic nature of it, how to sort of think about when others want to keep us.

00:17:57.090 --> 00:18:04.389 Mira Brancu: Keep seeing us in kind of the our old ways, after we've already sort of embarked on a growth or change process.

00:18:04.660 --> 00:18:06.830 Mira Brancu: Now, I'm totally switching gears.

00:18:06.860 --> 00:18:17.959 Mira Brancu: I'm super curious about how you're exploring authenticity and identity within the context of travel and tourism. How did that come to be? Why, the special interest in Disney?

00:18:18.040 --> 00:18:20.639 Mira Brancu: This is just super interesting.

00:18:21.040 --> 00:18:43.699 Alexis Franzese: Okay, so when I started out studying authenticity in early 2,000, it was. You know how one thinks about themselves, also how we interact with others. But over the years I've noticed the term authentic use to advertise products and consumer goods, and then, in about the last 10 years.

00:18:43.700 --> 00:19:02.899 Alexis Franzese: was noticing travel experiences that were being advertised as authentic Ireland, or, you know, travel companies that were promising people, these more genuine experiences. And I was curious about what that meant. Started to think about

00:19:03.520 --> 00:19:17.879 Alexis Franzese: places that I enjoy traveling to bringing multiple worlds together. I also study happiness, and teach a class at called the Science of Happiness, and teach a class beyond that called happiest place, the science of happiness at Disney.

00:19:18.080 --> 00:19:21.830 Alexis Franzese: And so, in looking around Disney

00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:27.129 Alexis Franzese: Disney does the most authentic simulation possible.

00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:33.430 Alexis Franzese: Main Street, U.S.A. Is the main street that we all wish

00:19:33.430 --> 00:19:58.349 Alexis Franzese: existed. I remember reading about city planners that were visiting Main Street, U.S.A. Of Disney in order to plan actual city. So they were looking at the simulated in order to make the authentic. And so these ideas of authenticity and simulation, and that dialectic between authentic and simulation at Disney is just fascinating to me. And so I'm actually working with

00:19:58.350 --> 00:20:08.529 A colleague at Guildford right now on a book about Disney, and how and authenticity and simulation is one of the themes within the book, and how they bring that together.

00:20:08.990 --> 00:20:22.360 Mira Brancu: Yeah. And people are obsessed with Denny. I mean, Disney fanatics are really into Disney. So. What what is it that they do that feels authentic, even if it's simulated?

00:20:24.630 --> 00:20:53.339 Alexis Franzese: There is so much that Disney does. And I know this is authentic leadership, so I'll try to keep. I'll get us. I'll try to move through this quickly, but I mean through all the sensory experiences that they do through the smells that they pump into the air the music that they play, the visual sites, their ability to invoke feelings of nostalgia that people will go to Disney and feel nostalgic for places they've never been, ever places that don't even actually exist.

00:20:53.510 --> 00:20:57.759 They just through this multisensory approach

00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:15.459 Alexis Franzese: and this experiential approach. invite people to feeling that they belong there. And that they have an authent, and I think, in the individuals experience that they are are authentically part of that experience that Disney is offering them

00:21:16.020 --> 00:21:20.230 Mira Brancu: so interesting. I'm gonna ask a question that might

00:21:20.360 --> 00:21:25.079 Mira Brancu: anger Disney enthusiasts.

00:21:25.760 --> 00:21:31.140 Mira Brancu: when you're when you're describing this I am thinking about.

00:21:31.540 --> 00:21:39.779 Mira Brancu:  at what point do we worry about manipulation. right? Manipulating people's feelings

00:21:40.060 --> 00:21:43.480 Mira Brancu: and experiences? Now, it's one thing for

00:21:43.810 --> 00:22:00.759 Mira Brancu: something like Disney, because they're creating an experience for you, and that I have sort of less less concern about as long as you're feeling like a positive experience, you know, when you've left, and you want to come back. But again, if I'm gonna sort of like, connect it back to leadership.

00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:03.630 Mira Brancu: one might take what you said.

00:22:03.770 --> 00:22:26.850 Mira Brancu: and say, Oh, all I need to do is simulate authenticity, and I can get people to do what I want, you know, or get people to feel good. Get people to lean into my influence of where I want them to go as a leader. Right? I know that's not the message you're sending so like, how do we sort of how do we reconcile that?

00:22:27.810 --> 00:22:56.400 Alexis Franzese: I love that you pull that out of our conversation about Disney? Because that is such an ongoing conversation within the authentic leadership literature. There's so much debate within that literature about the value, essentially the value of the concept overall and to some degree, and I think it was a 2021 piece. That was in leadership quarterly. Whether or not authenticity and leadership are actually compatible

00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:20.869 Alexis Franzese: concepts. Given that authenticity is so incredibly self referential and leadership is so relational. If we look back at the roots of authenticity, there are distinctions made between authenticity and sincerity. and sincerity being kind of this relational interactive piece, whereas authenticity is fully self referential.

00:23:21.430 --> 00:23:28.170 And so the question of authentic leadership and manipulation, I think, is is a real one.

00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:31.100 Alexis Franzese: I would argue that

00:23:31.730 --> 00:23:45.860 Alexis Franzese: people recognize performed authenticity. I think we see it and and we feel it. You know I'm trying to hold all the things I said earlier is true, too, that I believe authenticity is subjective, and that other people can't tell us when we're being.

00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:56.640 Alexis Franzese: But II think there is an experience when we're with somebody who has a genuineness to them. That we feel that and and recognize that

00:23:56.730 --> 00:24:15.070 Alexis Franzese: looking back to some of my earlier research on authenticity, I examined the reasons that people would engage in in authentic behavior, and I found a few different reasons. I found that some people would engage in in authentic behavior in order to keep the social.

00:24:15.360 --> 00:24:31.589 Alexis Franzese: the social cohesion of the group to keep things rolling along to keep everything pleasant, and other people wouldn't, wouldn't engage in in office, in, in authenticity for instrumental self gain, and when I started out sending authenticity.

00:24:31.860 --> 00:24:49.989 Alexis Franzese: I was very critical of this. Actually looking back at some of the earlier things II wrote about it. I call this like authenticity from in authenticity, for to manipulate others. And then over the years I've evolved to see that as a bit more strategic. So

00:24:51.230 --> 00:25:14.129 Alexis Franzese: there's lots of motivations, for why people do the things that they the way they do. I. Still, I'm a big proponent of authenticity, but always in prosocial ways. I would not want to see a leader be authentic, and holding authenticity on such a pedestal that they they act in ways that oppress others, or anything of that nature.

00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:16.660 Mira Brancu: Yeah. So

00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:26.379 Mira Brancu: this comes up often in my coaching and my leadership Academy in group coaching. Is the

00:25:26.660 --> 00:25:30.080 Mira Brancu: sort of tension around

00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:35.699 Mira Brancu: I want to be myself in all spaces. That's authenticity for self.

00:25:35.800 --> 00:25:41.329 Mira Brancu: right for self-preservation reasons. II wanna be able to be myself and not be

00:25:41.370 --> 00:25:45.219 Mira Brancu: judged negatively for being that.

00:25:45.670 --> 00:26:04.299 Mira Brancu: And this often also comes up for women and marginalized leaders especially, who are constantly judged for being themselves right. and at the same time you do as a leader need to be there for others like you were saying, there's a position of

00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:12.680 Mira Brancu: understanding and meeting other people where they are and supporting others and creating a thriving environment.

00:26:12.710 --> 00:26:14.409 Mira Brancu: There are times

00:26:14.710 --> 00:26:18.170 Mira Brancu: when there's a clash between those 2.

00:26:18.300 --> 00:26:20.519 Mira Brancu: And I'm sort of curious like.

00:26:21.020 --> 00:26:29.550 Mira Brancu: what do you think about that clash between authentic self and authentic leadership as a concept? And what you know like, what would?

00:26:29.710 --> 00:26:31.469 Mira Brancu: What do we do about that?

00:26:35.460 --> 00:26:52.780 Alexis Franzese: Such a big, a big question. We do know, across across studies. My own included, that in authenticity is associated with symptoms of depression and symptoms of anxiety. So I think it is a task

00:26:52.780 --> 00:27:07.129 Alexis Franzese: that individuals have to find and or create environments in their workplace where they can lead in ways that they can be authentic. There are costs to that in authenticity. But

00:27:07.430 --> 00:27:16.929 Alexis Franzese:  finding the right place, or creating a place where people can can behave in in ways that feel authentic for them.

00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:18.750 Mira Brancu: Yeah.

00:27:18.770 --> 00:27:28.649 Mira Brancu: I don't know how you just pulled together all of this in just one sentence, but I think that that is right on a lot of the work that

00:27:28.840 --> 00:27:34.810 Mira Brancu: that I do is focused on? Is this the right space in place for you to be your best self?

00:27:34.950 --> 00:27:41.150 Mira Brancu: And are you able to carve that out? And can you then help others

00:27:41.260 --> 00:27:54.660 Mira Brancu: as you create your own sort of way of leading and and thinking about that as an authentic leader. Offer that to others as well. Right? That is not an easy thing to do, and sometimes

00:27:55.090 --> 00:28:15.400 Mira Brancu: there is kind of another piece to this that I wanna sort of come back to after the the break. Which is, there is a difference between who we are as leaders. And and you know our authentic slalls and just being effective communicators and effective interpersonally

00:28:15.450 --> 00:28:36.549 Mira Brancu: and you can develop some skills that don't change who you are. So I'm sort of just curious about that when we come back again reminder, we're we're reaching an ad break. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Doctor Mirabu and our guest today, Doctor Alexis Francis, who is talking about authentic leadership and be will be right back in just a moment.

00:30:36.650 --> 00:30:38.200 Staple

00:30:39.740 --> 00:30:45.739 Mira Brancu: welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branku and our guest today, Dr. Alexis Franzese.

00:30:45.850 --> 00:30:48.980 Mira Brancu: We were just talking about

00:30:49.580 --> 00:30:55.999 Mira Brancu: trying to separate out authenticity in terms of how we see ourselves, just for ourselves.

00:30:56.150 --> 00:31:07.779 Mira Brancu: authenticity as a leader, where we're leading other people, and how they view us, and how to sort of not do it performatively. And I was sort of just

00:31:08.650 --> 00:31:11.259 Mira Brancu: moving into wondering

00:31:12.230 --> 00:31:17.020 Mira Brancu: what happens for leaders who are

00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:19.090 Mira Brancu: having

00:31:19.140 --> 00:31:23.299 Mira Brancu: difficulty understanding the difference or knowing the difference between

00:31:23.340 --> 00:31:28.129 Mira Brancu: showing up as their authentic selves, so that they can be their best self

00:31:28.390 --> 00:31:33.180 Mira Brancu: and when they're just being ineffective

00:31:33.800 --> 00:31:41.419 Mira Brancu: in their communication or their navigation of complex systems. Or things like that.

00:31:41.570 --> 00:31:42.469 Mira Brancu: How do you

00:31:42.700 --> 00:31:47.610 Mira Brancu: think about that? How do you sort of help people navigate and tease apart the difference.

00:31:56.400 --> 00:32:07.269 Alexis Franzese: I think that there's a bit of a misconception that often to see means speaking your mind and saying everything that's going on and being boundary lists.

00:32:07.570 --> 00:32:17.729 Alexis Franzese: And if you walk into a meeting late announcing, it's because you decided that getting a coffee was more important. Here you are. And oh, there was a line dropping your kids off.

00:32:17.800 --> 00:32:22.650 Alexis Franzese: But I don't think that's that's what authenticity is.

00:32:22.660 --> 00:32:49.160 Alexis Franzese: Again, I think, going back to this idea of behavior that is in alignment with values is the check. And so when somebody is in an organizational setting, they have their own personal values for their content. For the process of how they do their work. And then there's also values related to how they they lead. So there's that so like back to that self piece and that leadership piece.

00:32:49.250 --> 00:32:51.190 Alexis Franzese: And I think

00:32:52.710 --> 00:32:53.860 Alexis Franzese: just

00:32:54.190 --> 00:33:10.960 Alexis Franzese: being aware of the values at all times, both the values one holds for themselves and the values one holds for the organization, and how they want to relate to people and how they want to lead people is is the big work of bringing authenticity into the workplace.

00:33:12.130 --> 00:33:24.610 Mira Brancu: I really appreciate that I'm thinking about like several leaders who? That that is exactly their challenge is saying, if I can't speak my mind.

00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:26.809 Mira Brancu: then you're not letting me be authentic.

00:33:27.230 --> 00:33:29.820 Mira Brancu: Yeah. What? What do you think about that?

00:33:29.980 --> 00:33:31.779 Alexis Franzese: Yeah, I think that there's

00:33:33.190 --> 00:33:37.440 Alexis Franzese: a difference between being transparent and boundaryless.

00:33:37.820 --> 00:33:40.640 Alexis Franzese:  I think that there's

00:33:40.950 --> 00:33:50.460 Alexis Franzese: appropriate filtering and presentation of self in the workplace that can still be values aligned and utterly authentic for leaders.

00:33:50.660 --> 00:34:10.939 Alexis Franzese:  and in some ways I think that's why there's criticism that the authentic leadership approach has actually damaged some people in the workplace. Because if people read that literature and they think, Oh, this just means that I should bring everything to the table and just let it all hang out.

00:34:11.199 --> 00:34:13.060 Alexis Franzese: Absolutely not.

00:34:13.270 --> 00:34:28.760 Alexis Franzese: It just means this constant work of engaging in the audit of whether or not your behavior matches your values. And if you're in alignment, I do think there's great value to transparency within the relationships.

00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:57.729 Alexis Franzese: Because that does breed trust in a workplace, and that is the value of a leader having a degree of authenticity because it it. It facilitates trust with the people that they are serving when they feel like. Okay, this individual is going to tell me what they really think they have values in mind. And to the degree which the greater the degree to which that leader can be clear about those values, I think, also serves the organization.

00:34:58.150 --> 00:35:05.720 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I'm thinking of a couple of things here one is. You're you're just

00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:13.580 Mira Brancu: sort of clarifying the difference between being transparent for the purpose of helping people understand

00:35:13.680 --> 00:35:25.790 Mira Brancu: why you're choosing to do the things you do as a leader. What the purpose of your behaviors are, you know, connecting those to the values that you have versus the lack of boundaries, lack of filter.

00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:27.770 Mira Brancu: sharing all

00:35:28.010 --> 00:35:34.170 Mira Brancu: can sometimes hurt people I mean, you think about children right, who are

00:35:35.210 --> 00:35:38.790 Mira Brancu: lack of filter, boundaryless. And they'll say, like, you're ugly.

00:35:39.010 --> 00:35:47.450 Mira Brancu: and II don't like your you know your nose, and, you know, like, like completely lack of filter. And

00:35:47.680 --> 00:36:08.579 Mira Brancu: we do teach children to think about like we don't want to necessarily teach them to lie. But we don't. We also want to help them understand that people have feelings and people. You know, are hurt when you just point out all of their flaws and especially when it's not in the, there's the service to them.

00:36:08.670 --> 00:36:10.820 Mira Brancu: And if you're in a leadership role.

00:36:11.090 --> 00:36:27.510 Mira Brancu: most of your job is not to be in service to yourself is to be in service to others and the organization. And that means trying to find that balance of what can help serve me, be my very best for other people.

00:36:27.560 --> 00:36:30.490 Mira Brancu: And then what do other people need from me

00:36:30.530 --> 00:36:45.049 Mira Brancu: in order to for them to be their very best. And that often means finding that fine line. It's not easy. These are nuanced hard skills, people. That's why this this show is called the hard skills. Okay, they're very nuanced hard skills. But finding that fine line

00:36:45.060 --> 00:36:52.310 Mira Brancu: is important. So you mentioned and audit several times.

00:36:52.710 --> 00:37:07.769 Mira Brancu: tell us about, how can people kind of do this life or career audit around their authenticity? How does that strategically? How can that strategically guide their career and their leadership

00:37:10.390 --> 00:37:38.129 Alexis Franzese: as a therapist. I believe that the best place you know where the easiest place to do this work is probably within the setting of therapy or coaching either. You know, somebody also has concerns or going through live transitions that justify therapy as compared to coaching, because obviously there's different orientations to those, but with somebody who is trained and skilled in this, and can be a safe place to invite the person to really dig in.

00:37:38.130 --> 00:37:50.960 Alexis Franzese: because when we do these audits there are sometimes dark corners. and things that we might want to see, and the work of recognizing that you're out of alignment.

00:37:51.320 --> 00:38:19.420 Alexis Franzese: There can be grief associated with that work. To have have walked a path for a really long time, and realize that you have to make a pivot. There can be grief associated with that. And so you know, the the dialectic of acceptance and change that comes from dialectical behavior. Therapy is really useful here, too. Kind of helping somebody to think through. Here's where I am. This is the reality of the situation. And here are the things that I'm going to need to modify for my next chapter.

00:38:20.350 --> 00:38:34.890 Alexis Franzese: So I do think audits are necessary, but I also think we can do them alone, like I think these audits can happen in therapy. I think these can audits can happen sitting on the beach with no phone in your hand, with no book in your hand.

00:38:34.950 --> 00:38:47.060 Just thinking about. Where is my life at? Do I like where I'm at? Am I living in a way that reflects my values? And I know I sound like a broken record about the term values today.

00:38:47.170 --> 00:39:05.389 Alexis Franzese: And that is because I believe that values are at the heart of authenticity. I said before that I don't get pulled into the dialogue about whether or not there's a true self, but if I were to get pulled in it would go back to values for me. And so

00:39:05.570 --> 00:39:33.360 Alexis Franzese: when I say audit, I'm really referring to just taking the time. And this isn't just a one and done as I talked about before. People are dynamic, authentic changes to check in with oneself. Figure out what actually matters to you. What your if you have a sense of purpose which now somebody who teaches a class on the science of happiness, if I can give any recommendation to people from what I've learned from from that field. It's about having a sense of purpose.

00:39:33.550 --> 00:39:38.540 Alexis Franzese: And the beauty of purpose is that we can have purpose in

00:39:38.910 --> 00:39:55.769 Alexis Franzese: so many different types of jobs. We don't have to be Ceos or cable sea level to have purpose. People have purpose at all different levels in all types of different career paths, and that the benefits for health and well-being of having purpose are great.

00:39:55.770 --> 00:40:12.310 Alexis Franzese: So I think authenticity and purpose and values are all tied together because we are going to thrive. We are going to be more successful. We are going to be respected by our peers when we're acting in these values aligned way and in a purpose driven way.

00:40:12.630 --> 00:40:15.810 Mira Brancu: Yeah. And you know, it's

00:40:16.370 --> 00:40:19.410 Mira Brancu: it's interesting that a

00:40:20.090 --> 00:40:27.399 Mira Brancu: you mentioned like you don't have to be in a leadership role to achieve this right. And I

00:40:28.170 --> 00:40:31.410 Mira Brancu: I think about this a lot that like

00:40:31.780 --> 00:40:40.720 Mira Brancu: sometimes it's it's useful for leaders to separate themselves from their title and position.

00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:51.849 Mira Brancu: And just think about what's important to them. And how can they bring their best selves to any work, because you can be a leader in any situation.

00:40:52.300 --> 00:40:58.190 Mira Brancu: You can practice leadership in any situation, and frankly.

00:40:58.900 --> 00:41:09.719 Mira Brancu: you are more likely to be influential and more likely to make a difference and make a greater impact when you're thinking about that piece. Then when you're thinking about

00:41:10.210 --> 00:41:13.109 Mira Brancu: I'm in this leadership role and nobody's listening to me.

00:41:13.150 --> 00:41:20.439 Mira Brancu: you know, that's about you assuming that people will automatically listen to you just because you're in a specific position of authority.

00:41:20.820 --> 00:41:22.169 Mira Brancu: But these days

00:41:22.280 --> 00:41:31.189 Mira Brancu: it, it's it's not enough just to like, sit in a chair and own the position. It really takes

00:41:31.270 --> 00:41:32.659 Mira Brancu: a lot more

00:41:33.210 --> 00:41:37.849 Mira Brancu: skill. And if you can sort of

00:41:37.890 --> 00:41:41.020 Mira Brancu: master that skill, regardless

00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:46.990 Mira Brancu: of what position you're in, you are much more likely to be number one. Successful.

00:41:47.010 --> 00:41:48.750 Mira Brancu: Number 2

00:41:48.940 --> 00:42:00.509 Mira Brancu: achieve higher levels of success, and it could be in higher level leadership, roles or otherwise. And number 3. This happiness piece that you look into right? So

00:42:00.690 --> 00:42:03.640 Mira Brancu: excuse me. So, for example,

00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:07.360 Mira Brancu: if if I understand

00:42:07.700 --> 00:42:12.600 Mira Brancu: where I can put my greatest energy

00:42:12.950 --> 00:42:14.380 Mira Brancu: into a path

00:42:14.460 --> 00:42:24.979 Mira Brancu: that makes me feel really great. That makes other people feel great where I can really make a difference. And just focus on that

00:42:25.180 --> 00:42:30.059 Mira Brancu: right? Just focus on where my feet are walking and just keep walking in that direction.

00:42:30.180 --> 00:42:42.280 Mira Brancu:  and then share that with other people. It is much more likely that people are gonna lean in and say, Can I learn how to do that. Can I support you in that way, can I? You know?

00:42:42.530 --> 00:42:47.290 Mira Brancu: because it's there's there's a gravitational pull right?

00:42:47.370 --> 00:42:48.629 Mira Brancu: What are your thoughts on.

00:42:49.370 --> 00:43:02.270 I love what you just articulated, and the idea that you could enact leadership, even if you don't already like, have the authority position to begin with. And I think people have feel that gravitational pull.

00:43:02.560 --> 00:43:09.960 Alexis Franzese: because that feels authentic because it's thought out. And it's purposeful. And it's values aligned

00:43:10.400 --> 00:43:21.789 Mira Brancu: absolutely. Absolutely. So we're reaching another ad break and when we come back I want to explore just a couple of final things.

00:43:21.990 --> 00:43:26.860 Mira Brancu: If we wanted as individuals, anybody who's listening to this?

00:43:26.990 --> 00:43:33.459 Mira Brancu: Do that audit for ourselves just to see where it goes? What would we do like? What would be the steps.

00:43:33.610 --> 00:43:35.250 Mira Brancu: and especially

00:43:35.540 --> 00:43:47.049 Mira Brancu: what what would leaders do in in in their, in their roles like? Where do they start? If they're already feeling attention? So once we come back from this add, break

00:43:47.150 --> 00:43:56.090 Mira Brancu: we'll explore that a little bit. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabanku and our guest, Dr. Alexis Francis, and we'll be right back.

00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:07.389 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabu and our guest today, Dr. Alexis Francis.

00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:16.940 Mira Brancu: who is a sociologist and psychologist who studies authenticity and identity and the science of happiness.

00:46:17.150 --> 00:46:19.130 Mira Brancu: So

00:46:19.380 --> 00:46:39.010 Mira Brancu: we were just talking about how to do an authenticity audit a career audit focused on? Are we being our our our authentic selves? How do we sort of strategically think about mapping out our careers, our, whether it's leadership or not. Using this concept or framework.

00:46:39.520 --> 00:46:53.190 Mira Brancu: How would I start if I was if I was somebody coming to you sort of. Let's actually let's start with this. What are the signs? First. that I would know something's wrong, and I'll I'll give one example. Very recently I was talking with

00:46:53.710 --> 00:47:08.859 Mira Brancu: somebody who moved out of a very high level leadership role. Actually, she was the CEO of a company and she started doing, consulting

00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:11.410 Mira Brancu: making great money.

00:47:11.440 --> 00:47:21.979 Mira Brancu: On paper. Highly successful, really impressive, like. I looked at her, and I was like, Oh, my God, you know, just inspiring, impressive.

00:47:22.830 --> 00:47:34.290 Mira Brancu: and I sort of made a passing comment about, you know. Sometimes we we feel like we're doing the right things, but we feel trapped.

00:47:34.610 --> 00:47:40.440 Mira Brancu: and she immediately sort of held on to that. And she said, Tell me more.

00:47:40.450 --> 00:47:44.889 Mira Brancu: because I feel like maybe that's where I'm at, and I didn't realize it. So

00:47:45.100 --> 00:47:50.399 Mira Brancu: that's one sign to me right? If you feel trapped, there's something up.

00:47:50.470 --> 00:47:58.429 Mira Brancu: Something is feeling off between where you want to be what makes you happy and what you're actually doing?

00:47:58.550 --> 00:48:14.579 Mira Brancu: That's one sign I'm wondering like, are there other signs when people come to you for therapy. What are they saying cause I'm sure they're not like saying, I feel like I'm not being my authentic right? So what are they actually saying?

00:48:16.770 --> 00:48:22.200 Alexis Franzese: So it says it's a bit of a complicated, complicated question, because

00:48:22.680 --> 00:48:36.070 Alexis Franzese: I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of imposter phenomenon, imposter syndrome. That term was coined by Clance and Iams back in the seventies for female graduate students who felt like they were faking it.

00:48:36.090 --> 00:48:47.910 Alexis Franzese: And so there's a degree to which there are going to in life, sometimes being imposter feelings because of internalized messages about who deserves a place at the table.

00:48:48.140 --> 00:48:58.190 Alexis Franzese: and I want to be really careful to distinguish that which has a different therapeutic work demand the work demand around that is.

00:48:58.250 --> 00:49:23.430 Alexis Franzese: helping the person to recognize that. Hey? Everyone thinks they're in past, or even the ones who aren't saying it. Let them figure out coping mechanisms to help coping mechanisms to help deal with that that feeling. But that is different from what you just described. For the colleague you interacted with where it was something beyond that. It wasn't on an imposter. I don't deserve to be here. It was. Something's not right.

00:49:23.560 --> 00:49:30.700 Alexis Franzese: the things that I listen for. When we are working hard. For

00:49:30.780 --> 00:49:37.990 Alexis Franzese: things that are values aligned where I think we're being our authentic selves. We're working hard, but we're not exhausted.

00:49:38.450 --> 00:49:57.830 Alexis Franzese: Exhaustion to me means something else. We could be kind of fatigued by oh, that was a that was a big week like I did so much. My body needs to rest, but my mind is on fire, because this is exciting, but I think that, like exhaustion of

00:49:59.130 --> 00:50:13.939 Alexis Franzese: where you just can't wait to check out where you don't feel excited or energize. That is really really meaningful. And over the years, clinically, I've worked with people who

00:50:13.940 --> 00:50:32.359 Alexis Franzese: come to me with with with some fatigue around the work, and we can kind of clean things up, and they come to realize that they actually do love their work. And then that energy comes back so things that catch my attention. Think when people say that they're really, really exhausted? As a first clue to me.

00:50:32.720 --> 00:50:38.660 Mira Brancu: That's a really great one. I realized that in my first career where

00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:48.780 Mira Brancu: I was maybe working 35 HA week. I had the summers off. I had, you know. I came home early. You know I work. I work for education, and I thought.

00:50:49.020 --> 00:51:18.620 Mira Brancu: you know this makes sense to me pragmatically. But I was coming home exhausted and feeling terrible. And now I have, you know, 10 jobs. And I, you know, work like, you know, 80 HI don't know but a lot of energy, because it's all aligned with the things that I love doing, and with kind of a sense of purpose. So I'm resonating personally, but also that makes a lot of sense. Can you speak before we get into sort of the audit piece? Can you speak a little bit more about that

00:51:18.920 --> 00:51:32.400 Mira Brancu: authenticity? As a you didn't say this exactly, but we've we've spoken about this as a form of privilege. You know, not not everybody having sort of equal access to that.

00:51:34.340 --> 00:51:44.530 Alexis Franzese: Yeah. So that's an idea that I started out considering 20 years ago, when I really was early in my graduate school days, about

00:51:44.570 --> 00:51:45.800 Alexis Franzese: how

00:51:46.310 --> 00:51:57.070 Alexis Franzese: we vary in the degree to which we need social approval because of social structural forces. So we do not all have equal access to

00:51:57.640 --> 00:52:10.820 Alexis Franzese: saying what's on our mind when we walk into spaces, our physical embodiment determines how people interact with us. And so, starting at this work, decades ago, I was tuned into

00:52:12.340 --> 00:52:23.149 Alexis Franzese: the idea that as we age, we might have more freedom to be authentic, depending on our racial and ethnic identities, we might have more freedom to be authentic.

00:52:23.190 --> 00:52:31.899 Alexis Franzese: A variety of gender identities, sexual identities. How these influence the degree to which we can be who we are.

00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:34.090 Alexis Franzese: And so

00:52:34.300 --> 00:52:49.389 Alexis Franzese: I think, as leaders being tuned into the ways that the people you serve may or ha may have historically had greater access to that privilege or not, and creating spaces

00:52:49.390 --> 00:53:09.519 Alexis Franzese: where people have room to be who they are, not in that unfiltered, boundaryless way, but in that really lovely I am valued here. I know you had an episode. A few weeks back about sense of belonging, which I thought was fabulous, and I think, as leaders, we have an obligation to create

00:53:09.550 --> 00:53:26.360 Alexis Franzese:  settings and experiences in which people experience belonging, because that is a precursor to people being authentic, we will not bring our authentic selves to work. If we don't feel like there's a possibility we can belong in that place.

00:53:26.850 --> 00:53:55.889 Mira Brancu: I love that, and I'm glad that we were able to sort of squeeze that in so once you think about doing an audit, the first thing is to assess how you feel. Do you feel? You know a sense of exhaustion? Do you feel trapped and also assess like, what is this environment causing me to experience? Is there sort of issues around access and privilege that is sort of stealing away from my ability to lean into this. So once you sort of assess that

00:53:55.890 --> 00:54:01.770 Mira Brancu: what might be like the first step that people might take to

00:54:01.800 --> 00:54:04.869 Mira Brancu: do that kind of life or career audit that you were talking about.

00:54:05.150 --> 00:54:26.770 Alexis Franzese: Yeah. So I'm gonna give 2 steps. I think they go hand in hand. I think that, noticing the micro moments when we feel that we were authentic or inauthentic, like actually, honestly, openly letting ourselves recognize

00:54:28.530 --> 00:54:53.369 Alexis Franzese: that felt right. That felt that felt like me, that felt good or yikes. I didn't like the way that that felt, and I think why, there's so many demands, and we move so fast that we miss those micro movements. We just do the work and do the job and get it done. But I think slowing it down and in both directions to notice. That's all. That's all the line that felt off.

00:54:53.430 --> 00:55:22.659 Alexis Franzese: And then the step after that, I think, is experimenting with doing a little bit of a manual override in those moments when it fell off. Can we go back and repair that a little, or can we commit in that moment to putting our toe in the water of a more authentic action or a more authentic path. And then look at how people respond, how is that received? And and taking that data in

00:55:23.090 --> 00:55:35.099 Alexis Franzese: across the process, I do think it's valuable to find models to to. If there's somebody at the workplace. I like the way that person does that I feel like I know them. They're a great leader, and I feel like I have a sense of who they are

00:55:35.420 --> 00:55:45.960 Alexis Franzese: to kind of see if that person might be available to mentor you. Observe that person find out a little bit more about their story

00:55:46.730 --> 00:56:12.989 Mira Brancu: perfect. I love that. And so aligned with kind of how I go about doing coaching as well. I mean, it's just it's rooted in psychology folks. It's rooted in the hard skills, right? Of psychology. Okay, where you can find Alexis. You can find her on Linkedin. You can find her@www.authentic A. F.

00:56:13.430 --> 00:56:22.449 Mira Brancu: It's really about her initials, dot ME. Okay, authentic A. F dot, ME.

00:56:23.040 --> 00:56:41.320 Mira Brancu: And you know. Check us out. What did you take away from today? More importantly, what's one small change that you can implement this week, based on what you learned from Alexis. Share it with us on Linkedin, at Mirabu and at Alexis Francis, so we could share you on.

00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:46.050 Mira Brancu: Talk. Radio is also on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter twitch all over the place.

00:56:46.130 --> 00:56:50.120 Mira Brancu: In addition, we're on itunes and spotify

00:56:50.130 --> 00:57:07.939 Mira Brancu: on apple podcast at least and spotify as a podcast leave a review share with others to help increase our visibility, reach and impact and follow us. The stuff we talk about on the show is part of our research based strategic leadership pathway model that we teach in our towerscope leadership, academy.

00:57:07.950 --> 00:57:14.069 Mira Brancu: private coaching and learning community for socially conscious leaders in healthcare, academia, tech and stem.

00:57:14.220 --> 00:57:35.189 Mira Brancu: We're looking to make a greater impact. So if you're interested in learning more about that, go to Www. Dot goterscopecom. Thank you to talkradio Dot, Nyc. For hosting. I'm Dr. Mirabanku, the host of the Hard Skill show, and thank you for joining us today. Alexis, have a great rest of your day, everyone, wherever you're tuning in from. Thank you.

00:57:36.270 --> 00:57:38.190 Mira Brancu: Bye, everybody.

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