EPISODE SUMMARY:
This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, we have another wonderful show with just you and Sam as he shares with you about why it is so hard for us to express our needs.
Many of us feel that expressing our feelings and emotions can be one of the most difficult things we can do, for that puts us in a vulnerable position. Yet what we don’t realize until we are in the position of having to express our needs, whether they are emotional needs or physical needs, is that to do so is even more vulnerable.
Why is expressing our needs so hard? Why is it such a challenge for so many of us?
Tune in and share your own thoughts on our YouTube livestream. How are you at sharing your needs? Is it challenging or easy for you? Join in and share your stories with us!
http://www.theconsciousconsultant.com/
00:00:37.900 --> 00:00:42.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Good afternoon. Good morning. Good evening.
00:00:42.620 --> 00:00:55.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Welcome to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity wherever you're tuning in from. Thank you so much for being with me today. It's going to be one of those special shows
00:00:55.450 --> 00:01:09.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that it's just you and me going through some interesting topics today, so I hope you'll join me. Of course we always do this show every
00:01:09.260 --> 00:01:29.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Thursday here on talk radio that Nyc. On Wednesdays at Kmt, out of Palm Springs, California, You know I I I so love the West Coast, and i'm so grateful for Kmt. For carrying my show, and he'll actually be out on the west Coast for 6 weeks, starting
00:01:29.240 --> 00:01:39.560 first, we can in March, so anybody in the San Diego area reach out to me. I'll be there for 6 weeks. All right. S0 0ur topic today.
00:01:39.750 --> 00:01:50.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and this is something that kind of came up recently in conversations is about why expressing our needs is so hard for us
00:01:50.480 --> 00:01:59.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I, and this is something that I don't often hear people talk about. So I hope that
00:01:59.750 --> 00:02:10.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the perspective I give you today, and that's the stuff I talk about. We'll have some real meaning for you, and we'll really help you
00:02:10.500 --> 00:02:14.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: take a different look at this, because I think when we
00:02:15.410 --> 00:02:28.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: learn to express our needs and allow ourselves to have our needs fulfilled like life just gets so much easier. But first, of course, we have
00:02:29.480 --> 00:02:38.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: our little section from my book. Everyday Awakening. and
00:02:38.370 --> 00:02:44.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: of course the the the show is not complete without my little section of my book. Every day. Awakening
00:02:44.620 --> 00:02:57.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in this section is entitled Every new Dawn is a chance to see the world with new eyes. I think probably I propose for what i'm going to talk about today?
00:02:59.630 --> 00:03:03.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What if everything we think we know is wrong?
00:03:04.290 --> 00:03:14.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What if our history is incorrect? What if the basic assumptions we base our life on just not right.
00:03:15.330 --> 00:03:19.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Could we face up to the truth and g0 0n living?
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:35.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Could we admit that we've been wrong about our beliefs and face life anew? Could we see the world with new eyes. letting g0 0f all we believe is true.
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:44.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It takes both a strong will and an open heart to hear something that challenges everything we've held dear
00:03:45.420 --> 00:03:56.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in today's changing world, where information is being revealed to us at breaknet pace. This is exactly what we have to contend with
00:03:57.090 --> 00:03:59.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Keep in mind. I wrote this before the pandemic.
00:04:00.470 --> 00:04:11.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Our view of the history of the planet is constantly being challenged, as new discoveries show that life is much older than we first thought.
00:04:12.310 --> 00:04:27.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: New scientific evidence is showing that the start and evolution of the universe might not be what has been accepted for so long. I I actually just saw an article that said they discovered, like 6
00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:33.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: ancient galaxies out there that are s0 0ld they it doesn't make sense. So
00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:36.260 our our sense of history is totally changing
00:04:36.450 --> 00:04:49.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in our individual lives. Our views of our ancestors and parents change over time. Now that people are living longer. We see things differently.
00:04:49.670 --> 00:04:52.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Our perspective as a race
00:04:53.470 --> 00:05:04.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is changing. Everything around us seems to be morphing. The interconnectedness of life is more evident to us than ever before.
00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:10.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Technological development is turning science fiction into fact.
00:05:11.010 --> 00:05:16.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The cell phone of today was once a fantasy device on a TV show
00:05:16.700 --> 00:05:28.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: technology. As we know it is improving at a pace where what changes in a single lifetime formally took generations to achieve.
00:05:29.330 --> 00:05:35.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So how can we feel confident that we really know what is going on.
00:05:35.980 --> 00:05:44.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How can we hold on t0 0ld beliefs so tightly in the face of radical change?
00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:56.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How can we stay the same when everything around us is mutating at light speed. The time has come to release our grit
00:05:57.030 --> 00:05:58.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: on assumptions
00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:11.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that have ruled our lives for generations, on how things were, and how they will be. The time has come to look at each new day
00:06:11.480 --> 00:06:17.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: as if it means we are living in a brand new world. a brand new reality.
00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:22.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because that is where we live.
00:06:24.340 --> 00:06:30.340 Every day we are faced with a new reality based on new discoveries and experiences.
00:06:30.810 --> 00:06:40.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Perhaps, looking at our personal history and letting g0 0f the stories we and our family have long lived by would be good for us.
00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:44.290 It would be good for us to let go.
00:06:44.400 --> 00:06:56.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: of the meanings we have made of experiences that no longer serve us. to wake up each day and release something old in our minds and hearts
00:06:56.840 --> 00:07:01.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to be as a child who knows it knows nothing.
00:07:02.440 --> 00:07:10.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and to be open to life, bringing us whatever it brings us, without judgment or judgment or reservation.
00:07:12.180 --> 00:07:17.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What a beautiful journey awaits us in this new world!
00:07:18.880 --> 00:07:27.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So where can you let g0 0f some long held beliefs, and see life with brand new eyes.
00:07:28.010 --> 00:07:31.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know it. It's really kind of funny
00:07:33.260 --> 00:07:37.430 how I wrote this. I don't know how many years ago.
00:07:39.840 --> 00:07:45.940 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and somehow it feels more true today than it ever did before.
00:07:47.440 --> 00:07:52.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There were new discoveries constantly where they're finding
00:07:53.260 --> 00:08:09.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: a remains. Skeletal remains tools, examples of of civilization, of of you know, people and things happening way older than what we originally thought.
00:08:11.620 --> 00:08:20.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it's something that a long held belief. I'll try and hold it lightly that actually the universe
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:33.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is much much older than scientists think it is. and that the planet could also be much much older.
00:08:34.070 --> 00:08:45.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And indeed you you've seen. I've had guests. Come on my show talking about things like Atlantis and and ancient advanced civilizations. And
00:08:45.930 --> 00:08:54.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know we have a tendency in this modern world to think that modern civilization is only about 5 6000 years old.
00:08:56.460 --> 00:09:05.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I have a sneaking suspicion. It's actually much older than that. This is just the latest round of modern civilization.
00:09:08.740 --> 00:09:10.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the pyramids
00:09:11.180 --> 00:09:15.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we have a sense of, maybe how old they are, Yet
00:09:16.060 --> 00:09:18.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: new techniques to measure
00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:22.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the age of of objects and things is
00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:33.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: showing us that things are actually much older. I've had on Dr. Sam as Menagic, who is the person who discovered the discover the pyramids in Bosnia.
00:09:33.660 --> 00:09:42.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and according to his carbon dating, and and things they found in the pyramid. It's at. They're at least 40,000 years old. at least
00:09:42.520 --> 00:09:46.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: 40,000 years old.
00:09:46.810 --> 00:09:54.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: which means there was a civilization advanced enough to build a pyramid 40,000 years ago.
00:09:55.960 --> 00:10:06.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Indeed, humans, we've been around quite a long time, and to think that civilization is only less than 10,000 years old.
00:10:06.740 --> 00:10:08.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I think
00:10:08.500 --> 00:10:12.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that maybe perhaps that might be a little naive.
00:10:14.660 --> 00:10:21.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and and I really have to give credit to a gentleman who who's no longer with us. but
00:10:21.540 --> 00:10:28.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: a lot of the inspiration for this passage from my book came from Lloyd Pi
00:10:28.350 --> 00:10:33.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Ll. Yod. Hello.
00:10:39.050 --> 00:10:43.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because there was this video I found I can't even remember. I think someone told me about it
00:10:44.930 --> 00:10:47.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: entitled Everything, you know is wrong.
00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:55.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it's still on Youtube, and if you want to see it. Type in everything you know is wrong. Lloyd Pi PE,
00:10:56.360 --> 00:11:07.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it's a and it's about a 2 h lecture that he gave it some conference. The quality of the recording is not very good. The information he presents in it is astounding.
00:11:08.560 --> 00:11:17.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You don't have to believe anything he says. But if even 1 10 or one of what he says is true.
00:11:18.660 --> 00:11:27.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there there is so much about life that we take for granted that is totally not based on reality.
00:11:29.580 --> 00:11:40.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so and that. And then I found out he wrote a book called Everything, you know is wrong, and it's, I think it's still available on Amazon, and he wrote a second book called
00:11:42.510 --> 00:11:45.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Everything we know is still wrong.
00:11:45.820 --> 00:11:50.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and if you're a curious person, and you're open
00:11:50.540 --> 00:12:02.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to learning about some things that might shake what's typically held is as reality or truth. I'd recommend you check it out just to see
00:12:02.880 --> 00:12:04.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: just to see what
00:12:04.880 --> 00:12:08.700 what somebody else from a different perspective
00:12:08.760 --> 00:12:14.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: might might have. And I have to tell you, after doing my show for 12 and a half years.
00:12:15.030 --> 00:12:18.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and having on all kinds of people
00:12:18.990 --> 00:12:20.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: who who have lived
00:12:21.040 --> 00:12:30.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: miracles and have had unusual experiences, and who've actually done real research on things that
00:12:30.850 --> 00:12:44.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: most people consider to be who who are out there or not grounded. In reality. you know, at some point there's just so much evidence that things are not the way we typically believe they are
00:12:44.820 --> 00:12:52.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that you have t0 0pen yourself up to the fact that there is more in life than we realize.
00:12:53.450 --> 00:12:59.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I did it, said old Shakespearean line. I think it is more true today than when he, Shakespeare, wrote it.
00:13:01.380 --> 00:13:03.330 There. There is more.
00:13:05.700 --> 00:13:09.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The the truth is for stranger.
00:13:10.540 --> 00:13:29.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then dreamt of in your philosophy. Oh, I can't remember if anyone's listening to the on the Youtube live video, please. If you if you know that the quote, I'm thinking of it basically is just like how the world is much stranger than even fiction. You know the whole idea of the truth is stranger than fiction.
00:13:30.880 --> 00:13:33.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But again, this quote is about
00:13:33.630 --> 00:13:37.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: seeing the world with new eyes, and this was something that
00:13:37.420 --> 00:13:41.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know sort of made me realize that every new day
00:13:41.500 --> 00:13:55.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we wake up from sleep is a new opportunity for us to experience something new, to learn, something that shocks us, to
00:13:55.440 --> 00:14:03.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to face life as a new adventure that's full of possibility.
00:14:05.140 --> 00:14:18.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And when you're stuck in a job or in a rut, or in a situation that you've been stuck in for a long time, and and it it just crushes your soul, and you can't wait to get out of it. You don't know what to do.
00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:22.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It. It can feel like life is Treasury
00:14:24.370 --> 00:14:28.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: A. And what I'm talking about here is.
00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:35.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if somehow we can find the way. open up our eyes in the morning
00:14:36.120 --> 00:14:44.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and say, what new, miraculous, amazing thing is life gonna bring to me today? That's going to shock me
00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:50.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: out of my slumber? Then life can still be a magical adventure
00:14:51.180 --> 00:14:54.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that indeed there is more
00:14:56.680 --> 00:14:59.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: more amazing things
00:14:59.950 --> 00:15:15.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that can happen. I was in just a a networking group the other day, and I was facilitating the room, and I had to create my own question. So it was. Have you experienced a miracle? What a miracle have you experienced? And out of the 4 0r 5 people in the room. It's like
00:15:16.490 --> 00:15:28.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: everybody, had a little something, or knew of something that was a miracle. I recently had someone very close to me find out that she no longer has Hepatitis B. Which is supposedly incurable.
00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:35.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But but how did she release that condition because she kept doing her work. She kept
00:15:35.640 --> 00:15:41.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: working on herself, and and releasing trauma and and
00:15:41.290 --> 00:15:51.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and and allowing herself to release the these old energies, and it's from doing that deeper work that she believes that miracle happened. Miracles do happen.
00:15:53.680 --> 00:15:58.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I bet if you ask enough, people. have they ever experienced a miracle
00:15:59.950 --> 00:16:06.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: before too long you're gonna come across somebody who experienced something that is gonna totally blow your mind.
00:16:07.110 --> 00:16:09.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So maybe for this week.
00:16:10.830 --> 00:16:22.760 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Let's do that. Let's just ask everyone we meet people we talk with. Have you ever experienced a miracle? Do you know anybody who's experienced a miracle
00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:30.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and see what they say. and see how many people it takes for you to ask that question of
00:16:31.880 --> 00:16:36.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: before you hear something that truly rocks your world
00:16:38.020 --> 00:16:40.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because I can guarantee you it's out there.
00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:45.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it's not that far away from you. You just have to look for it
00:16:45.830 --> 00:17:03.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all right. I'm over time for this segment, but that's the section from my book. Every new dawn is a chance to see the world with new eyes. And of course that's from my book, Everyday Awakening, which you can find@www.everydayawakeningbook.com
00:17:03.710 --> 00:17:15.839 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All right. Well, we're gonna go to break. And when we come back i'm gonna start diving int0 0ur topic for this week, which is why expressing our needs is so hard.
00:17:16.310 --> 00:17:31.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I think this is a really great topic, and something that can really serve you. So I I hope the some of you are tuning in on on the Youtube live, and I would love to hear your thoughts, your comments.
00:17:31.280 --> 00:17:37.180 and have you joined the conversations just you and me for the hours. So please join me.
00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:54.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Thank you so much. You're listening to the conscious consultant now awakening humanity. We do this live every Thursday on talk radio that Nyc. From noon Eastern t0 0ne Pm. And Wednesdays on Kmt. In Palm Springs, California. 10 am. And we will be right back
00:17:54.760 --> 00:17:56.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in just a moment.
00:17:59.530 --> 00:18:18.940 Are you a business owner? Do you want to be a business owner? Do you work with business owners? Hi, I'm. Steven Fry, your small and medium-sized business, or smb guide, and i'm the host of the new show always Friday, while I love to have fun on my show. We take those Friday feelings of freedom and clarity to discuss popular topics on the minds of Smbs today.
00:18:19.080 --> 00:18:25.290 Please join me and my various special guests on Friday at 11 am. On talk radio and Nyc.
00:18:27.730 --> 00:18:58.030 Are you a conscious Co-creator? Are you on a quest to raise your vibration and your consciousness? I'm Sam, leble it your conscious consultant. and on my show, the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity, we will touch upon all these topics and more. Listen, Live at our new time on Thursdays at 12 noon Eastern time. That's the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. Thursday's 12 noon on Talk Radio Nyc.
00:19:03.270 --> 00:19:31.810 Are you on edge hey, we live in challenging edgy time. So let's lean in. I'm. Sandra Bardman, the host of the edge of every day, which airs each Monday at 7 P. M. Eastern time on talk, radio and Nyc. Tune in Live with me and my friends and colleagues, as we share stories of perspectives about pushing boundaries and exploring our rough edges. That's the edge of every day on Mondays at 7 Pm. Eastern time on top radio and Nyc.
00:19:31.940 --> 00:19:32.890 Russia.
00:19:34.740 --> 00:19:40.270 You're listening to talk radio Nyc: uplift, educate and power
00:19:41.350 --> 00:19:42.680 the
00:19:58.940 --> 00:20:02.720 you okay
00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:27.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consult now are weakening humanity. S0 0ur topic this week is why is expressing our needs so difficult, so challenging for us.
00:20:29.490 --> 00:20:34.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it it's really quite interesting, because
00:20:35.410 --> 00:20:37.350 when we've learned to
00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:40.520 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: express our needs, that's how we get the met.
00:20:41.310 --> 00:20:45.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and you would think that this is something
00:20:45.620 --> 00:20:52.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: well as children. We we usually have no problem expressing our needs
00:20:53.640 --> 00:21:01.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: right. When you're a little kid, you're more than happy to tell your mommy or daddy. Oh, I want this. I want that.
00:21:02.630 --> 00:21:14.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But somehow. when we grow up it it it's a little more challenging to say, oh, you know I I I want this, or I need that
00:21:15.770 --> 00:21:17.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: which is really kind of funny.
00:21:19.510 --> 00:21:23.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and because something that comes so natural to us as children
00:21:24.780 --> 00:21:28.340 ends up, being so challenging for us as adults.
00:21:29.580 --> 00:21:31.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and indeed like.
00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:42.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: especially when it comes to relationships right when we're in a relationship with someone.
00:21:42.610 --> 00:21:47.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How often do we end up not expressing our needs
00:21:48.300 --> 00:21:49.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in a relationship?
00:21:51.560 --> 00:21:53.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How often
00:21:53.810 --> 00:21:57.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it is it so challenging for us
00:21:57.570 --> 00:21:58.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to
00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:04.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to just tell our partner. or or
00:22:04.390 --> 00:22:08.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or t0 0ur the person we're with.
00:22:08.180 --> 00:22:13.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, you know, I I really could use this right now. I really could use that right now.
00:22:16.060 --> 00:22:18.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it's really kind of funny that
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:23.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know we're so quick to
00:22:26.420 --> 00:22:32.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to really like. Give the other person what they need.
00:22:34.800 --> 00:22:39.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: yet it it's so challenging for us
00:22:40.710 --> 00:22:45.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to give ourselves what we need, or to ask for what we need in life.
00:22:48.320 --> 00:22:51.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I really find it
00:22:51.540 --> 00:22:53.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: so confusing.
00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:04.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because unless we truly get our needs met. How can we meet anyone Else's needs?
00:23:05.410 --> 00:23:11.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's kind of the old adage, and I've talked about this before that. We need to fill up our own cop
00:23:12.470 --> 00:23:15.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: before we can really give to another person.
00:23:16.900 --> 00:23:26.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because if our cup isn't full, if we're not giving from our overflow. then we're giving from lack. and when we give from lack.
00:23:28.820 --> 00:23:41.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it drains us even more, and it's not really what the other person needs. so it doesn't serve anybody to to give from lack.
00:23:43.330 --> 00:23:53.430 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so that's why I really. I think this is a very important part of just learning how to live
00:23:56.190 --> 00:23:59.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is learning how to ask for what we need.
00:24:01.820 --> 00:24:06.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because let's face it as adults. Nobody else is a mind reader.
00:24:06.990 --> 00:24:16.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Nobody else knows what's going on inside of us the same way. We don't know what's going on inside of anybody else.
00:24:20.750 --> 00:24:26.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so it really comes down to us.
00:24:26.380 --> 00:24:32.570 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: being willing to express what we truly need in any given situation.
00:24:33.550 --> 00:24:35.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now this is true
00:24:35.830 --> 00:24:42.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in our personal life, with our family, with our friends, in our business and career.
00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:57.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If your boss or manager or somebody comes to you and says, here I need you to do this project, and they throw it at you. and you don't have all the information.
00:24:57.650 --> 00:25:03.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or you Don't, have all the tools you need to to to make this
00:25:03.530 --> 00:25:05.290 project happen.
00:25:08.380 --> 00:25:11.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Then you need to speak up and say.
00:25:11.470 --> 00:25:16.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, i'd love to do this, but I I need x, y or Z.
00:25:22.970 --> 00:25:27.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yet how often are we afraid to speak up for what we need?
00:25:28.110 --> 00:25:38.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How often do we just kind of shrink back and say, 0 0kay, and and we just try and figure it out on our own.
00:25:40.660 --> 00:25:43.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know this lone wolf syndrome
00:25:44.390 --> 00:25:50.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: of a we gotta do everything on our own. We gotta take care of ourselves. We just gotta figure it out on our own.
00:25:51.630 --> 00:25:54.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That's not really the way we're built.
00:25:55.820 --> 00:26:00.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We're social creatures. We're designed
00:26:01.930 --> 00:26:04.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to work with other people.
00:26:07.070 --> 00:26:09.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so it's up to us
00:26:11.280 --> 00:26:17.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to be willing to say I need something. I need your help.
00:26:20.470 --> 00:26:21.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and indeed
00:26:21.910 --> 00:26:26.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it can be very scary. I want you to think about it.
00:26:26.140 --> 00:26:29.350 Just think about in your own life.
00:26:32.920 --> 00:26:39.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how many times. or even, maybe Just think of a situation where
00:26:40.740 --> 00:26:44.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you needed something from another person. and you
00:26:44.570 --> 00:26:52.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: didn't ask for it. and you were afraid that fear kept you from asking for it.
00:26:55.470 --> 00:26:58.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We've all had those experiences.
00:26:59.320 --> 00:27:00.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and again
00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:13.010 it it. It may have been a work situation. It may have been a family situation, family situation, so tough. They have been in it a a personal or an intimate situation with a partner, or a spouse, or a lover.
00:27:16.470 --> 00:27:17.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so.
00:27:19.590 --> 00:27:21.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if we understand
00:27:21.950 --> 00:27:27.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: why it's so challenging us to for us to speak up for ourselves.
00:27:30.890 --> 00:27:39.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: then it'll make it a little easier for us to start to change that behavior and change the way we've shown up.
00:27:43.690 --> 00:27:51.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so I I I want to dive into that in the next segment, because I see it Just got a little bit of time before my next break.
00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:55.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but it can often be confusing, because sometimes
00:27:56.770 --> 00:28:04.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we can do certain things we feel are vulnerable. but still not ask for our needs.
00:28:06.700 --> 00:28:12.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so we think we're being vulnerable. We think we're being authentic.
00:28:15.270 --> 00:28:23.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but only up to a point. and i'll get into what exactly I mean by all that in in just a moment.
00:28:25.080 --> 00:28:35.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But I didn't wanna I don't want to start into that, and and then have to take a break. So let me go to break. and when we come back i'll get into why we're
00:28:35.850 --> 00:28:37.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what it is about
00:28:37.850 --> 00:29:05.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: expressing our needs that makes it so challenging. Who W. And I see Lawyer, Listener Patti, running a little late, but checking in finally. I'm so glad you're with us, Patty. I do hope my other loyal listeners will will tune in as well. Okay, so everyone, please stay tuned again. If you can go to youtube.com Slash, talking alternative, you can see the live Facebook Video: and please join in comment.
00:29:05.020 --> 00:29:17.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Let me know what you think about expressing your needs. What When have you been in a situation when you didn't express your needs and and let's dive into Why, that's the case, and what we can do
00:29:18.790 --> 00:29:24.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to be more aware, more conscious of it, and perhaps shift that behavior a little bit.
00:29:24.620 --> 00:29:34.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Okay. We we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. You're listening to the conscious consultant now awakening humanity, and we'll see you in just a moment.
00:29:35.550 --> 00:29:49.900 Are you passionate about the conversation around racism? Hi! I'm Reverend Dr. Tlc. Host of the dismantle racism show which airs every Thursday at 11 a. M. Eastern on talk, Radio and Nyc
00:29:49.900 --> 00:30:02.440 join me and my amazing guest as we discussed ways to uncover dismantle and eradicate racism. That's Thursdays at 11 0'clock a. M. On talk, radio and Nyc.
00:30:05.060 --> 00:30:32.850 In a moment, for you. You may have many unanswered questions. Regarding your health. Are you looking to live a healthier lifestyle? Do you have a desire to learn more about mental health, and enhance your quality of life? Or do you just want to participate in self-understanding and awareness? I'm. Frank R. Harrison, host of Frank about health and each Thursday? I will tackle these questions and work to enlighten you. Tune in every 3 day. 5 P. M. On talk radio and Nyc and I will be frank about help to advocate for all of us.
00:30:38.140 --> 00:31:02.230 Hey, everybody! It's Tommy Deed and non-profit sector connector coming at you from my attic each week here on talk radio and Nyc: I hosted program for lambda in focus, nonprofits in cocktails each and every day, and it's my focus to help them amplify their message and tell their story. Listen each week at 10 a. M. Eastern standard time until 11. A. M. Is from standard time right here on talk radio, Dot: Nyc.
00:31:03.260 --> 00:31:13.680 You're listening to talk radio and Yc: at Ww: talk radio and Livec: now broadcasting 24 hours a day.
00:31:14.220 --> 00:31:15.180 The
00:31:24.080 --> 00:31:29.830 you Okay. you
00:31:39.520 --> 00:31:46.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all right. Welcome back. So let's let's get into it. So. So why exactly is expressing our needs so hard.
00:31:47.170 --> 00:31:49.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it's really kind of funny, because
00:31:50.160 --> 00:32:00.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: some people, you know think like well, i'm. I'm really good at expressing my feelings, or I'm. I'm. I'm. Really good at expressing my opinions.
00:32:01.380 --> 00:32:06.570 and yes, expressing your feelings can be a bit vulnerable.
00:32:07.270 --> 00:32:08.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but actually
00:32:08.890 --> 00:32:14.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: expressing your needs is far more vulnerable for us
00:32:15.270 --> 00:32:21.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: then, expressing our feelings. And it's kind of funny, because
00:32:21.950 --> 00:32:30.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: especially men are not very good at expressing their feelings. Women much, much better at expressing your feelings. Hats off to you women.
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:40.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But even in expressing your feelings. I noticed there's this tendency. Well, I expressed my feelings. They should just know what I want or what I need.
00:32:41.860 --> 00:32:47.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the answer is, no, we don't know what you need, just because you expressed your feelings to us
00:32:47.810 --> 00:33:00.080 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: by expressing our feelings. We are telling a person where we are right here right now. You know what we're experiencing in the moment. We're not telling the person
00:33:00.250 --> 00:33:08.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what it is we need. We're not saying. you know this is how I feel, and I need this to
00:33:08.890 --> 00:33:15.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to feel better, or I need this to to feel like there's something more here.
00:33:16.610 --> 00:33:18.590 And the reason why
00:33:19.170 --> 00:33:21.970 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we don't express our needs
00:33:24.180 --> 00:33:26.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is because we could be rejected.
00:33:28.100 --> 00:33:30.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because they may say no.
00:33:31.490 --> 00:33:36.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or they may just say that's nice, but I can't do anything about that.
00:33:37.390 --> 00:33:47.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And that fear of rejection that fear of the pain we would feel if we expressed our needs and the other person denied them.
00:33:48.930 --> 00:34:01.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that that is why we avoid it. That is why we don't express our needs. That is why we we rarely say
00:34:02.540 --> 00:34:05.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: this is what I need
00:34:11.489 --> 00:34:12.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: think about it.
00:34:15.650 --> 00:34:18.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm gonna. And i'm just gonna use
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:35.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: an intimate relationship partnership just because it's so much easier to to use that as an example and highlight something. And and I hope this will give you a a good example that
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:41.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you'll be able to apply t0 0ther areas in life because it's true in everything, not just in in intimate relationships.
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:43.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There's a couple.
00:34:45.130 --> 00:34:57.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There's some problem between them. Maybe the there's communication is kind of broken down a little bit. One person feels like the other person isn't
00:34:58.190 --> 00:35:00.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: acknowledging them.
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and s0 0ne partner
00:35:07.160 --> 00:35:21.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: goes to the other one, and says: You know I feel so unseen. I feel so UN acknowledged. I feel like my needs are not important to you. I feel like da da da da, and they're expressing their feelings.
00:35:23.170 --> 00:35:36.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and their partner is looking at them like oh. I had no idea. probably because the person that really expressed the need that they need wanted. But they're sitting there listening.
00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:41.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: thinking to themselves. Wow! I had no idea you were feeling like this.
00:35:44.020 --> 00:35:46.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and then the other person just stops
00:35:47.610 --> 00:35:49.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: with saying how they're feeling.
00:35:51.480 --> 00:35:53.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then the person listening to this
00:35:54.880 --> 00:36:00.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: person number one is like, 0 0kay, thanks for letting me know. I didn't know you felt that way.
00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:04.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and nothing changes between them.
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:12.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and a few days later they they talk about it again. It's like I told you I feel this. I feel that.
00:36:13.770 --> 00:36:17.330 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the person is like, 0 0kay, yeah, I I got that.
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:27.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the unspoken thing. The thing that's not said is, what do you want me to do about it?
00:36:29.340 --> 00:36:31.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so, if the person who feels
00:36:33.050 --> 00:36:35.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: UN acknowledged unvalidated.
00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:39.890 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if they don't have the courage to say. and
00:36:39.950 --> 00:36:47.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I need you. When I say this or I do this. I need you to do X, y, or Z for me
00:36:48.100 --> 00:36:54.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in order for me to feel her seeing validated, loved. Whatever the feeling is.
00:36:55.290 --> 00:36:58.090 If they don't say I need you to do this.
00:36:58.260 --> 00:36:59.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: then the person listening is like
00:37:00.030 --> 00:37:05.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, well, I had no idea. Oh, you need me to do that. Sure, i'll do that.
00:37:06.910 --> 00:37:10.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the sure i'll do that that's in like the best of cases.
00:37:12.500 --> 00:37:21.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But what happens if they say. well, you know I really need you to just spend time with me. And what if the person says?
00:37:22.690 --> 00:37:37.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Well, I would love to. But you know i'm in the middle of this project. I got all this pressure at work, and I just don't have the time I I i'm so focused. I got all this pressure, and and and what little bit of free time I need for me to just be with myself.
00:37:39.550 --> 00:37:52.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So now, how does the first person feel who expressed their need. They're gonna feel like they've been rejected. They just said what their need is. And now the person is telling them. They can't do that.
00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:56.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now. You see, here's the thing.
00:37:57.940 --> 00:38:03.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The person who said they can't meet their needs is not rejecting the first person.
00:38:04.890 --> 00:38:09.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: They're merely saying, I don't have the capacity to give you what you want
00:38:10.820 --> 00:38:14.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: doesn't mean. They don't love you. Doesn't mean they don't care about You
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:20.180 just means they don't have the ability in the moment to give you what you're asked for.
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:24.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and what is the natural human tendency when we hear that?
00:38:25.020 --> 00:38:32.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, you don't care about me. Oh, you don't love me! Oh, I I told you what I needed, and and you're not, you know, going to fill my need.
00:38:35.660 --> 00:38:48.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and if the person says that now the person hearing that is going to say, I feel now, I feel judge now I feel i'm not good enough now. I feel like, no matter what I do you, You're going to be upset at me.
00:38:49.830 --> 00:38:53.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we get into this whole nasty spiral.
00:38:55.550 --> 00:38:59.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the reason why is because
00:39:00.120 --> 00:39:08.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to expect one individual to meet all of our needs is unrealistic.
00:39:10.110 --> 00:39:12.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or to meet those needs.
00:39:13.210 --> 00:39:15.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All the time is unrealistic
00:39:17.930 --> 00:39:29.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because we all have our own life. We all have our own experiences that we're dealing with. and sometimes we're just barely hanging on by a thread.
00:39:29.270 --> 00:39:33.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or we're just having such a hard time meeting our own needs
00:39:34.430 --> 00:39:39.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that it's too much of a burden for us to meet someone Else's names.
00:39:42.170 --> 00:39:44.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and so that's the thing is that
00:39:46.030 --> 00:39:55.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we place our needs on another person. and if they won't, or they can't give it to us. we feel that's it.
00:39:57.140 --> 00:39:58.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But you see that's not it.
00:40:00.010 --> 00:40:03.270 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because there are many other ways to get needs met
00:40:04.690 --> 00:40:17.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's sort of like. If, as a child or or an it let's say, an adult child going to a parent and saying, oh, you never love me, you never listen to me. You never heard me. I can send it and and know the person is like
00:40:17.520 --> 00:40:28.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: too bad. Suck it up. You know they're of a different generation. They then they can't relate to what you're saying. you know, is that the only person you can get that need and met from. No.
00:40:28.390 --> 00:40:38.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: not saying you have to get it met from your spouse. But maybe you go see a therapist. Maybe you see a counselor, you find someone else. You can talk to that when you talk to them. You feel seen and heard.
00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:44.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or maybe it's a friend or a colleague.
00:40:49.450 --> 00:40:56.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And just because somebody else can meet a particular need that we have.
00:40:57.040 --> 00:41:06.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and our partner, or or whoever doesn't doesn't mean, we need to leave that partner. It doesn't mean the relationship is over.
00:41:07.840 --> 00:41:15.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It just means for that particular need that we asked for that we're unable to receive from that person
00:41:16.810 --> 00:41:22.730 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that we need to find some other way, or some other person to get that need from.
00:41:22.910 --> 00:41:30.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we don't express that need, how can the other person possibly know? That's what we need.
00:41:33.190 --> 00:41:44.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Again. Human beings are not mind readers. We don't know with each other needs, unless we express it, unless we tell the person.
00:41:46.190 --> 00:41:57.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and of course, how we tell the person what we need is as equally important as telling them what we need. because if we're yelling at them. Oh, you don't do this, and you don't do that! 90, this and I need that.
00:41:57.790 --> 00:42:00.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Who wants to hear that? Who is going to listen to that.
00:42:03.540 --> 00:42:06.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if we say to the person in a
00:42:06.840 --> 00:42:13.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: little bit more calm matter in a little bit more human way, a little more compassionate way.
00:42:15.870 --> 00:42:22.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know, when you do x, y, or Z, I feel A, B or C,
00:42:24.350 --> 00:42:28.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and what I really need is for you to do. E, F. And G.
00:42:31.050 --> 00:42:32.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, suddenly
00:42:33.350 --> 00:42:41.880 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you give a little context, and you let the other person know when they do whatever it causes you to feel a certain way.
00:42:42.730 --> 00:42:44.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And
00:42:44.930 --> 00:42:50.010 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what you need to help you in that kind of situation is this.
00:42:53.260 --> 00:42:55.670 But you see that's truly being vulnerable.
00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:06.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because now we're being human, we're admitting to the other person like, we need something from you. and that's a very scary place to be.
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:14.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because we're constantly worried about what if they reject us. What if they say? No.
00:43:15.130 --> 00:43:31.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But here's the thing. What if they say? Yes, what if they say? Oh, my God! I had no idea, or oh, My God! I've been waiting for you to tell me what you need. And now that you've told me absolutely, i'm more than happy to do that.
00:43:34.460 --> 00:43:46.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's so funny. I mean, human beings really are funny. If you can step back and just observe things impartially, we we're truly hysterical. The way we show up in life, and what we do in life.
00:43:47.540 --> 00:43:51.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But it's really an opportunity.
00:43:53.370 --> 00:43:59.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yet we have to be confident enough to be able to say, I need this from you.
00:44:01.470 --> 00:44:06.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I know that they might say okay, or they might say, I'm sorry. I can't do it
00:44:07.590 --> 00:44:26.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all right. I have to go to my last break for the show when we come back. I'm going to wrap this up and talk about how do we get our needs met, and how do we make the most out of a situation where we're having challenges with that. Okay, you're listening to the conscious consult. Now awakening humanity, and we will be right back
00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:30.250 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and tie this all up in a nice bow for you in just a moment.
00:44:33.510 --> 00:44:57.610 Hey, Buddy, it's Tommy gee the non-profit sector connector coming at you from my attic each week here on talk radio and Nyc: I hosted program for Lambda can focus non-profits in calculus each and every day, and it's my focus to help them amplify their message and tell their story. Listen: Each week at 10 am. Eastern Standard time, right here on talk radio, Dot Nyc.
00:44:58.400 --> 00:45:26.250 You may have many unanswered questions regarding your health. Are you looking to live a healthier lifestyle? Do you have a desire to learn more about mental health and enhance your quality of life? Or do you just want to participate in self-understanding and awareness I'm Frank R Harrison, host of Frank about health and each Thursday I will tackle these questions and work to enite you tune in every 3 at 5 P. M. On talk, radio and Nyc. And I will be frank about help to advocate for all of us.
00:45:29.750 --> 00:46:00.030 Are you a conscious co-creator? Are you on a quest to raise your vibration? And your consciousness? I'm. Sam Liebridge, your conscious consultant, and on my show, the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity, we will touch upon all these topics and more. Listen. Live at our new time on Thursdays at 12, noon, Eastern time. That's the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. Thursday's 12 noon on talk radio and Nyc.
00:46:04.420 --> 00:46:14.360 You're listening to talk radio Nyc: at Ww: talk, radio and Yc: now broadcasting 24 h a day.
00:46:23.450 --> 00:46:29.640 Okay. Okay. you
00:46:38.550 --> 00:46:45.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all right. Everybody welcome back. So we're talking about needs. We're talking about getting our needs, Matt.
00:46:46.720 --> 00:46:48.260 Now, here's the thing
00:46:49.970 --> 00:46:55.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's challenging for us to express our needs, because that's the most vulnerable position we can be in.
00:46:57.130 --> 00:47:01.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because when we ask for something the other person could always say no.
00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:04.500 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: However.
00:47:04.700 --> 00:47:11.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: ultimately the one person who can truly fulfill our own needs is us.
00:47:12.660 --> 00:47:19.880 Now this is not to say, not necessarily all our needs. I mean, yeah, we're your social creatures. We need to be with other people.
00:47:23.500 --> 00:47:33.770 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But when we go and we're in a relationship with someone, and it doesn't matter if it's a business relationship, a familiar relationship, an individual relationship.
00:47:34.440 --> 00:47:37.500 It's always good to first ask ourselves.
00:47:37.960 --> 00:47:42.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Why do I need this person to feel this need
00:47:44.240 --> 00:47:56.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to look at it and be a little more aware like, Does it really need to be the person you're asking to fulfill this need, or are they only one of a number of possible people? We can ask
00:47:59.800 --> 00:48:03.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Also, is there a way to get our own needs. Matt.
00:48:04.990 --> 00:48:10.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Is there a way for us to feel more whole. more
00:48:12.820 --> 00:48:15.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: seen, more together?
00:48:16.640 --> 00:48:18.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Then, looking to someone else to do it.
00:48:20.690 --> 00:48:23.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So S0 0ne of my teachers.
00:48:24.200 --> 00:48:26.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: He often says that
00:48:27.210 --> 00:48:34.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: when we are looking for something externally. it's because we're not giving it t0 0urselves internally.
00:48:35.470 --> 00:48:43.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So if we're looking for validation from someone else, or acknowledgment. or to be seen or to be heard.
00:48:44.200 --> 00:48:52.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It's because we're not validating ourselves, we're not acknowledging ourselves we're not seeing ourselves when that hearing sells.
00:48:54.920 --> 00:48:58.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and once we do suddenly
00:49:01.040 --> 00:49:10.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: getting other people to validate us, acknowledge us, see us hear us is somehow not quite as important.
00:49:15.020 --> 00:49:26.800 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: because if we truly love ourselves. if we truly honor ourselves. if we truly no. and admit
00:49:27.050 --> 00:49:32.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and allow ourselves to feel how awesome it amazing we really are
00:49:33.860 --> 00:49:37.030 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the hotel cares what anybody else thinks.
00:49:39.010 --> 00:49:47.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, I see Paddy making a comment on the live stream you are spot on in your message today. Relationships
00:49:47.610 --> 00:49:58.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: after retiring or challenging new hobbies. More time to spend on, quote their new interest, makes for new ways to find what I do now.
00:49:59.220 --> 00:50:00.950 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What? Oh, if I
00:50:01.490 --> 00:50:05.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: makes for new ways to find. What do I?
00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:06.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: No need?
00:50:07.180 --> 00:50:30.610 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, you know it. It it's kind of interesting. At different stages of life we have different needs. I mean when we're young in our twenties and thirties it's all about the meeting people and and starting our career. And then the older we get in the thirties and forties and fifties. It's about settling down potentially, you know, many people want to have a family have kids.
00:50:30.610 --> 00:50:43.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know, other people just just, you know, want to do something different, and they're all kinds of different possibilities. I'm giving you like the traditional, societally accepted ways. We we react in life.
00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:51.780 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And then, as we get older in our sixties and seventies, it's like, okay enough work. I'm tired. I want to enjoy life.
00:50:51.860 --> 00:50:53.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, personally, I think.
00:50:53.860 --> 00:50:59.020 Why do we put off enjoying life until we're retired? We should be enjoying life all through light.
00:51:02.250 --> 00:51:05.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but at different points in life we have different needs.
00:51:07.530 --> 00:51:15.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And the first thing we need to do when we recognize, and sometimes we don't even recognize. We have a need.
00:51:15.070 --> 00:51:23.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But the first thing to do when we realize we have a certain need. is to first ask ourselves.
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:28.090 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How can I meet my own need, or can I need my own need?
00:51:29.860 --> 00:51:42.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And Sometimes we can, and sometimes we can't. you know. As an example I was talking about. you know, when you're at a job, and and you, Boston, or your manager gives you something to do, and you don't have everything you need.
00:51:43.070 --> 00:51:50.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You may not have all the tools. You may not have all the information. so you can't meet your own need in that way.
00:51:52.280 --> 00:52:07.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and you go to your boss and you're like, hey? I need information on this, and he's like i'm too busy. Go figure it out on your own. And he doesn't ask, Give you what you ask for. Then you gotta step back and say, okay, Well, who else can give me what I need?
00:52:08.640 --> 00:52:15.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Maybe there's somebody else in the organization, someone else in the company you can go to. Who has that information.
00:52:16.020 --> 00:52:20.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: or can help you figure out or find where to find that information.
00:52:23.160 --> 00:52:28.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So it's not always up to the person you go to to get that need filled.
00:52:31.530 --> 00:52:38.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and again, many times we can fill our own need many times. We can't fill our own need.
00:52:40.300 --> 00:52:42.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but I can almost guarantee you.
00:52:43.300 --> 00:52:49.240 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for the vast majority of time that we have some kind of need, especially an emotional need.
00:52:49.720 --> 00:52:53.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There is not only one person in the world who can fill that need.
00:52:55.610 --> 00:52:59.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There are often many other people who can fill that need.
00:53:00.520 --> 00:53:11.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We just have to be willing and open to allow someone else to fill that need. And just because they fill that need does not mean
00:53:12.460 --> 00:53:20.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: like they're the one person for you does not mean like you should leave your current relationship, because this person, you know, was filling that need for you.
00:53:23.020 --> 00:53:29.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It just means for that particular need. That is the right person for you.
00:53:30.320 --> 00:53:38.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and indeed it's kind of why it's good to have a few close friends. not just one.
00:53:39.460 --> 00:53:50.370 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now you can't have too many close friends, because to truly develop a close relationship. it takes time. It takes effort. It takes energy. Some people are more able to
00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:53.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: connect with more people than others.
00:53:57.540 --> 00:54:24.400 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but by having a few close friends. Maybe one friend is the person you know. You g0 0ut to the bar with another. One is the one you go to the movies with another one. It is the one you g0 0ut to dinner with, or something, or you know one person you you know you talk all about like work stuff. One person. You talk all about personal stuff with one person. You talk about your hobbies, I mean. There's there's a Bazillion different ways. You can divide up your needs.
00:54:29.330 --> 00:54:40.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but by allowing multiple people to be at least the potential. For where you can get a certain need met.
00:54:41.710 --> 00:54:45.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Then we don't place everything all at once
00:54:46.720 --> 00:54:48.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: on that one individual.
00:54:50.920 --> 00:55:02.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and to place all of our needs on one individual. Again, it's it's too much of a burden. It doesn't make sense. There are very few people in this world who can meet
00:55:02.820 --> 00:55:05.690 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all the needs of another human being.
00:55:06.990 --> 00:55:12.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: That's what we tend to think when we get into a relationship with someone.
00:55:13.410 --> 00:55:22.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So i'm here to tell you. You know what you don't need to have all your needs meant by one person. unless that one person is yourself.
00:55:25.250 --> 00:55:26.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and ultimately.
00:55:28.570 --> 00:55:29.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: ultimately.
00:55:30.630 --> 00:55:33.280 there's always a way to find
00:55:34.210 --> 00:55:36.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to meet your own need.
00:55:38.770 --> 00:55:41.390 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that when we free ourselves
00:55:42.470 --> 00:55:58.000 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: from the mindset that it has to be this individual to do this for me. We open ourselves up to a whole cadre of of different possibilities and different people and different ways of doing things.
00:56:00.790 --> 00:56:03.680 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I just want you to think about it for this week.
00:56:04.830 --> 00:56:08.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: How can you fill your own needs? Can you
00:56:09.640 --> 00:56:21.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: first be willing to express your need to another human being to be willing to be that vulnerable to be okay if they say no.
00:56:22.100 --> 00:56:29.480 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that's saying no does not mean they're rejecting you. They're just saying they don't have the capacity to meet that need for you.
00:56:30.560 --> 00:56:34.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and there's no reason to judge a person. There's no reason to make them wrong.
00:56:35.060 --> 00:56:42.460 It's just where they are at at that time, and maybe today they can't meet that need, but maybe 6 months from now they could.
00:56:43.580 --> 00:56:45.440 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So again
00:56:45.540 --> 00:56:52.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: being open and flexible, and seeing each day as a new opportunity for new experiences
00:56:54.520 --> 00:56:57.300 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that can really help us
00:56:57.440 --> 00:57:10.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to find different ways. And I see my another loyal listener, Soniah, checking on the Facebook. Live glad you here tonight, or even though you're late, and we're just about to in the show. But you can always catch the replay. S0 0f course.
00:57:10.750 --> 00:57:21.850 just a reminder to everybody listening. If you missed any part of today's show, and you want to hear more about what I've been talking about expressing your needs or about the section of my book.
00:57:21.850 --> 00:57:36.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Every new dawn is a chance to see the world with new eyes. You can always catch the replay on talk radio, Nyc: and of course we're available on all the podcasting platforms. Apple Google Stitcher, Spotify Pandora. I heart radio.
00:57:36.130 --> 00:57:57.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Please subscribe to my podcast. Just search for the conscious consultant hour on whatever your favorite podcasting platform is. And you know what, if you would leave a review like a 5 Star Review. That would be even completely awesome. See, I'm. Expressing my need, because actually I can't review myself. But if you could review me and say, Sam's wonderful great Listen to the conscious consultant hour. I give him 5 stars every week
00:57:57.560 --> 00:57:59.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that would be totally awesome.
00:57:59.360 --> 00:58:19.930 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So here I am modeling for you. How do we express your needs than to be vulnerable? Thank you for tuning in. It's been a pleasure. Next week. I have a wonderful guest in store for us, Bob Rous. So i'm really looking forward to bringing this guy on. I think you're gonna love him. Take care we will talk to you all next week.
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