There is an interesting dance we do.

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One were we can go to extremes.

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We may find it hard to acknowledge our gifts one day.

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And the next day we to tell people how great we are.

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It is a common occurrence for those of us who do not have a balanced sense of self.

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For it is truly a challenge to see ourselves clearly.

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To be objective about how good we are at something.

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Or perhaps we think we are better at it than we really are.

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Sometimes it can just be a swing in our mood that takes us into judgment about ourselves.

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We take a failure as a sign we are not good people or that we are not special.

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Yet if we ask others what they see in us, we get a totally different perspective.

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For they are not in the middle of the emotional storm about ourselves, only about themselves.

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So someone else can see clearly that we are great at one thing or only mediocre at something else.

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When we ask our friends for the truth about us, the responses we receive can be quite enlightening.

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For other can see that we are smart, kind or capable in an instant.

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Yet when we look in the mirror we only all of our faults.

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When we get stuck in that pattern of self-criticism it can be a good to reminder to ask someone else what they see in us.

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What do they see as our greatest qualities?

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Where do they see we can improve?

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This is not to say that a close friend might not go soft on us to cheer us up if they feel we are upset.

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Yet if we are in a good mood when we ask, we are likely to get some quite interesting responses.

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So when we are doubting ourselves, unsure of ourselves, or just plain can't see anything of value in ourselves, it is a good reminder to ask someone else.

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And if we cannot feel what they say about us, then it is time to take their words and repeat them to ourselves.

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Out loud.

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Then in front of a mirror.

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Saying their words like we really mean it, even we don't feel it in the moment.

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Especially when we don't feel it in the moment!

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour