It is normal to have desires.

To want to do something or be someone.

Our desires pull us to a certain direction.

They are our motivation and our intentions.

There is nothing wrong with having these desires.

Yet there is a big challenge with them.

For in order for us to still be open to what life may bring to us, we still have to remain open.

Open to the twists and turns of life.

Or just open to things not quite working out the way we intended.

However, when we want something so much, we can become very attached tot he desire without even realizing it.

For as a desire grows within us, we can find ourselves making up all kinds of stories about it.

How it should look or how things should work out.

And that's when we get in trouble.

For things rarely work out exactly the way we expect.

More often than not, things happen in ways that are completely outside of our imagination.

Our attachment to the desire then causes us pain and heartache because things did not happen the way we expected.

So our suffering is actually of our own creation.

If we can see when we are becoming too attached to something, then we can step back and remember to hold it lightly.

To remind ourselves that things rarely turn out exactly as we expect, so we can be more flexible and hold open other possibilities.

There was nothing wrong with our desire to begin with.

The challenge comes in when we hold the desire so tightly that if anything happens in a way we didn't expect or want, we feel crushed.

Or hurt.

Maybe we even blame others for their part in it.

And that's when we disempower ourselves.

For once we slip into blame, either of others or ourselves, we make ourselves a victim and we stop being a creator.

Yet victimhood does not serve us and it is only when we step back and release our attachment even to way things worked out, or didn't, only then can we reclaim our power.

This is not to say that it is easy to release our attachment once it has gotten so strong.

Of course, it is not.

But if we have practiced non-attachment in little things, then it becomes easier to be non-attached to the big things.

Still, we are human, and we will make mistakes.

We will become attach to things in our lives.

That's okay, as long as we work to become more conscious of our attachments.

For when we are conscious of them we can start to work to hold those attachments with a lighter grip.

Over time, and with practice, we can learn to catch ourselves when we start to become attached to something, before it goes too far.

And all of this work and effort will pay off as we begin to live a more joyful, more effortless, life.

Can you recognize when you are starting to become attached to something?

Do you know how to lighten your grip and begin to release that attachment?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour