We all experience loss in our life.
Whether it is loss of a loved one, a career, or a home.
The hard part is not usually the loss itself.
For we often tell ourselves that loss is permanent.
And sometimes it is.
Or the loss is our fault.
So there is guilt from the loss.
Perhaps even we wanted it to happen.
Being human, that might even be true.
What does it matter how we felt, what we did or didn't do?
We probably didn't make the loss happen.
Even if we played some small part, we were not the ones who took the life, took the job, or took the home from us.
Of course, we feel the pain of the loss.
Yet we only suffer from the loss because f the stories we make up inside our minds.
As if is actually is our fault.
How could that be?
Could we have said something or did something different?
Yes, we could have.
Would it have made a difference?
Maybe it would have, maybe not.
In the end it does not matter.
If we could have, we would have.
We did not have the foresight to see the implications of our actions or non-actions.
Yet we didn't.
And all the guilt and all the shame will never change that fact.
It has happened.
Because it has happened, it is now in the past and can we can not change it.
So what can we do? How can we move forward?
To honor the loss.
And feel the grief.
Who are we to judge ourselves in that manner?
Let's let life decide about our part in the loss and do the best we can to move forward.
The loss is real and it did happen.
So where are you letting a loss how you back from being the best you can be?
~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant