Being truly vulnerable is scary.

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To bare our deepest fears and pain is hard.

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It is not something we do in front of other people.

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Yet there is real power in actually doing it.

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When we come to the point where we are willing to do something most other people don't, we have achieved something special.

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How do we get to that place?

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What is the secret to being able to be so brave with other people?

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It is not about developing courage, although that helps.

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And it is not about learning to speak up in front of others, although that helps too.

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It is about something much deeper, much more scary.

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Learning to be truly comfortable to share our pain with another person is about feeling safe.

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No just feeling safe with the other person.

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More importantly, it is about feeling safe with ourselves.

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Being kinder, gentler, and more compassionate with ourselves.

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We first have to learn to hold ourselves in the midst of our own pain before can share it with another.

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It is about allowing it to be okay to be hurt, to be angry, to be sad.

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Finding a way to completely accept ourselves with all our flaws and all our mistakes.

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Totally accepting who we are, and especially those parts we don't like so much.

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Accepting it all, without any judgment.

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We first have to be able to bare our soul to ourselves.

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Then we can bare it to other people.

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For the greatest challenge is holding the space for us to able to feel the pain first.

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Once we have felt the raw, unadulterated emotions, then we can share it with another person.

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And after we have told someone the first deep dark secret, the second one is easier to share.

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Once we find ourselves in a safe environment to share our pain to a small group, we can do it.

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Eventually, we come into greater awareness and acceptance of ourselves, we can be truly vulnerable in front of others.

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It does not happen overnight or even in a few weeks.

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It can take months, even years of effort to get there.

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Yet once we do there is a real treasure awaiting us.

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That treasure is not just the ability to be vulnerable in front of others.

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Yet that skill is golden in and of itself.

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The real treasure is that once we can do it we give others the desire and the permission for them to do it themselves.

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By transforming ourselves and being willing to display that transformation in front of others is what leads them to want to transform themselves.

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It is the most powerful gift we can give.

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Yet we may never see the results of that gift.

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And it is still worth it, every step of the way.

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Is there one small step you can take to be vulnerable with yourself, and then someone else?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant