Meaningful conversation with someone can be hard.

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We can feel like we're hitting a wall when we try to go deep.

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To talk about what really matters.

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Those sometimes painful things stirring in your heart.

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Yet the other person seems to back away to small talk as if the deeper waters are too uncomfortable.

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We all long for connection.

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Craving conversations that nourish us, that help us feel seen and understood.

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Yet so often we find ourselves in exchanges that only skim the surface.

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Light, polite, safe, but not satisfying.

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There is nothing wrong with small talk, but when that is all we get, something inside us yearns for more.

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Part of the challenge is that real depth asks something of us.

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It requires vulnerability, and not everyone is ready to risk that level of exposure.

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Many of us grew up in families where emotions were hidden and avoided.

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Others simply do not have the time or attention to sit with what is real.

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And sometimes, our intentions do not match.

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One of us may long for connection, while the other only wants to express themselves.

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I have felt this in my own life.

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There have been moments where I tried to open up, only to watch the other person change the subject or laugh it off.

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It stung, not because they were wrong or bad, but because I realized how rare it is to find someone who can sit in the messiness of truth with you.

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At other times, I have been on the other side, too distracted or uncomfortable to meet someone where they wanted to go.

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Those moments humbled me.

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So what can we do to help foster a deeper connection?

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First, create safety.

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Being open and asking curious questions.

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Listening more than speaking.

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Letting go of the need to fix or solve anything.

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And perhaps most of all, accepting that not every person, and not every moment, is the right one for a deep conversation.

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When it does happen, it is a gift that arrives when both are ready.

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The truth is that depth cannot be forced.

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It has to be invited.

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It has to be chosen.

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And when it shows up, it can change us.

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When was the last time you felt truly seen in a conversation?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour