What is true vulnerability?

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We hear a lot about it lately.

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How to be a leader or relate to people we have to be vulnerable.

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Yet there is not a lot of talk about how to truly be vulnerable.

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Does being vulnerable mean we have to tell all of our deep dark secrets?

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Do we have to be vulnerable the same way to everyone?

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And what does real vulnerability really look like?

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In today's world we sometimes get the impression that to be vulnerable we have shed tears and be emotional.

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We have to reveal how scared we are or how uncertain we are what to do.

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Yet all of these ideas around vulnerability only deal with one side of the equation.

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It makes vulnerability all about us.

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What about the other person or people?

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How are we showing up in a way that allows them to be vulnerable?

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For real vulnerability to exist there needs to be a certain environment.

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One of safety first and foremost.

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Yet there also needs to be space for someone else to be vulnerable.

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Instead of the space being completely filled with us sharing our pain and sorrow, there needs to be room for others to share as well.

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Vulnerability does not have to be loud or overly expressive.

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It can be quiet and patient.

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And it can be open and waiting.

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When we are truly present to what is in the air in the moment, we can open to allowing the other person to express their vulnerability.

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It is not just about us.

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For being truly present with others is actually the most vulnerable place we can be.

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Because it opens us up to feeling their pain and suffering.

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It allows us to empathize with them on a whole new level.

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And from that deep, present, vulnerable place, we share something that is not just about our pain, but supports the other person in their process.

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Vulnerability takes empathy on all sides.

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It also requires the safety that everyone feels heard and listened to.

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Which take more presence than we realize.

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That is why quiet vulnerability is the most powerful of all.

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So what do you need to do to cultivate quiet vulnerability in your own life?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour