What is true vulnerability?

We hear a lot about it lately.

How to be a leader or relate to people we have to be vulnerable.

Yet there is not a lot of talk about how to truly be vulnerable.

Does being vulnerable mean we have to tell all of our deep dark secrets?

Do we have to be vulnerable the same way to everyone?

And what does real vulnerability really look like?

In today's world we sometimes get the impression that to be vulnerable we have shed tears and be emotional.

We have to reveal how scared we are or how uncertain we are what to do.

Yet all of these ideas around vulnerability only deal with one side of the equation.

It makes vulnerability all about us.

What about the other person or people?

How are we showing up in a way that allows them to be vulnerable?

For real vulnerability to exist there needs to be a certain environment.

One of safety first and foremost.

Yet there also needs to be space for someone else to be vulnerable.

Instead of the space being completely filled with us sharing our pain and sorrow, there needs to be room for others to share as well.

Vulnerability does not have to be loud or overly expressive.

It can be quiet and patient.

And it can be open and waiting.

When we are truly present to what is in the air in the moment, we can open to allowing the other person to express their vulnerability.

It is not just about us.

For being truly present with others is actually the most vulnerable place we can be.

Because it opens us up to feeling their pain and suffering.

It allows us to empathize with them on a whole new level.

And from that deep, present, vulnerable place, we share something that is not just about our pain, but supports the other person in their process.

Vulnerability takes empathy on all sides.

It also requires the safety that everyone feels heard and listened to.

Which take more presence than we realize.

That is why quiet vulnerability is the most powerful of all.

So what do you need to do to cultivate quiet vulnerability in your own life?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour