We all have a truth.

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One we never speak out loud.

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It stays hidden and buried.

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For we are terrified of admitting it.

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Sometimes, we can feel that admitting it is the worst thing we can do.

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That we might die if we speak it out loud.

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Our deep, dark thoughts that we feel means we are a bad person.

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For having these thoughts must mean that we are evil.

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Soemone who should be condemed.

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As we condemn ourselves for feeling this way.

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How could we we be a good person and still have such a dark thought?

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When we are in pain, we think all kinds of things.

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Things that only a truly awful person would think.

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For all we want in that moment is for the pain to stop.

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To get out of whatever situation we are in.

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Finding some relief in ways that feel so wrong.

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They may just be fantasies in our mind.

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Yet the feelings behind those fantasies are real.

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The impact the pain is having on us is real.

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We are stuck and we just don't know how to get out of it.

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Maybe a loved one has been sick for a long time.

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And while we love them and have been taking care of them, we just want the pain of losing them to be over.

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Or maybe we have taken on certain responsibilities.

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Those responsibilites have turned into something much greater than we ever imagined.

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We now want to get out of them, but we don't know how to.

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And all we want now is to be free.

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If our leaving a certain situation means someone else will suffer, how can we?

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Perhaps we are one in so much pain we are thinking of ending our own life.

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Yet how can we want to end our own life if it is going to hurt so many other people?

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Our pain is real.

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We feel it every day.

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Having these thoughts is human, not evil.

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The fact that we feel bad about having them shows us that we really do care.

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Speaking these truths out loud may feel impossible to us.

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As if admitting them to ourselves will end our life.

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Yet the opposite is actually true.

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When we admit that these feelings are driving our actions, then we can find some relief.

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Then we can shine a light upon these deep, dark thoughts and be aware of them.

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So that we can show up in a different way.

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Showing our selves some compassion to be human releases some of that pressure.

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Without that pressure, we just might be able to find a different way to deal with the pain.

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Allowing our minds a little more freedom to explore new possibilities.

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Ones that we couldn't even consider when we kept those feelings covered up and supressed.

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Speaking out truth may be the hardest thing for us to do.

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For to hear ourselves admitting what we are terrified to admit

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Yet it is the path to relief and freedom.

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Freedom from the unrecognized chains that bind us.

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Is that not worth facing our most painful truth?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour