There is a lot of talk about Love this time of year.

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Mostly, it is focused on the Love of another.

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On our intimate relationships.

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Yet there is so much more to this intricate thing called Love.

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There are the other obvious relationships of Love, such as the Love of a parent, or a child, or a sibling.

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There is the Love of a close friend, a mentor, or a student.

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Yet all of these external relationships are not nearly as important as the our closest relationship.

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The one we have with ourselves.

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And to Love ourselves is the primary relationship in our life.

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For the experience of Love cannot come to us if we do not let it in.

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In order to let it in, and truly make it a part of our life, we must first have that connection with our own heart.

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It is not about a temporary feeling we have when we are with someone else.

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For we all feel good when we are with someone who Loves us and we Love them.

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Yet the only person we are with everyday, all day long is ourselves.

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And those quiet moments when we are alone with ourselves is far more telling than any moment with another person.

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How do we really feel about being with ourselves?

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Are we comfortable in those times, or distracted?

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Do we appreciate ourselves, or do we judge ourselves?

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Can we connect to our own heart when no one else is around?

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For Love is not a feeling.

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Love is a state of being.

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Either we are In Love, or we are not.

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We either come from a place of Love, or we do not.

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And that connection to Love is not something that goes away when things are not going well.

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Love is greater than our hurts or unfulfilled desires.

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It brings us back home to ourselves.

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And from that place we can Love others.

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Yet when we struggle to find a way to Love ourselves, we will always struggle with our Loving relationships.

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Having a close, intimate relationship with someone is not about meeting each other's needs or some form of codependency.

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True Love is about sharing a deep connection with our heart, with another who is also connected to their heart.

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To truly know ourselves, and all our faults, and still Love ourselves is the deepest expression of Love there is.

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When we come to that place, it is then simpler to share that Love with someone else.

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A Love that comes with no expectations.

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A Love that is unconditional.

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For that is what true Love really is.

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An unconditional experience of ourselves and another.

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The Love that comes from that place, lasts through an entire life, even if those involved are no longer together.

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So where in your own life can you find more Love for yourself?

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How can you be more unconditional in your Love for another person?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour