There is a lot of talk about Love this time of year.

Mostly, it is focused on the Love of another.

On our intimate relationships.

Yet there is so much more to this intricate thing called Love.

There are the other obvious relationships of Love, such as the Love of a parent, or a child, or a sibling.

There is the Love of a close friend, a mentor, or a student.

Yet all of these external relationships are not nearly as important as the our closest relationship.

The one we have with ourselves.

And to Love ourselves is the primary relationship in our life.

For the experience of Love cannot come to us if we do not let it in.

In order to let it in, and truly make it a part of our life, we must first have that connection with our own heart.

It is not about a temporary feeling we have when we are with someone else.

For we all feel good when we are with someone who Loves us and we Love them.

Yet the only person we are with everyday, all day long is ourselves.

And those quiet moments when we are alone with ourselves is far more telling than any moment with another person.

How do we really feel about being with ourselves?

Are we comfortable in those times, or distracted?

Do we appreciate ourselves, or do we judge ourselves?

Can we connect to our own heart when no one else is around?

For Love is not a feeling.

Love is a state of being.

Either we are In Love, or we are not.

We either come from a place of Love, or we do not.

And that connection to Love is not something that goes away when things are not going well.

Love is greater than our hurts or unfulfilled desires.

It brings us back home to ourselves.

And from that place we can Love others.

Yet when we struggle to find a way to Love ourselves, we will always struggle with our Loving relationships.

Having a close, intimate relationship with someone is not about meeting each other's needs or some form of codependency.

True Love is about sharing a deep connection with our heart, with another who is also connected to their heart.

To truly know ourselves, and all our faults, and still Love ourselves is the deepest expression of Love there is.

When we come to that place, it is then simpler to share that Love with someone else.

A Love that comes with no expectations.

A Love that is unconditional.

For that is what true Love really is.

An unconditional experience of ourselves and another.

The Love that comes from that place, lasts through an entire life, even if those involved are no longer together.

So where in your own life can you find more Love for yourself?

How can you be more unconditional in your Love for another person?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour