Holding space for someone is a skill we learn.

It is something that takes more than we realize.

To truly be there for someone else is not easy.

Yet there are some things to realize that can help.

Holding space or someone is an active venture.

It is not about just passively listening.

And it requires a lot of us.

First, it requires us to be doing our own work.

That deep inner work that often makes us uncomfortable.

For it is only by doing our work that we can learn to hold space for ourselves.

To feel safe enough with ourselves that we can truly be honest with ourselves.

For once we are safe for ourselves, then we can be safe for others.

And holding space for others requires a lot of safety.

For the person can if there is judgment behind your eyes.

They know if you are truly seeing them for who they are, and if you are not.

Mostly importantly, holding space for someone requires that we be open.

To be open to what they need, not what we think we need.

When we hold space for someone they may need nothing more than our presence.

Or they may need our active participation in their process.

To hold their hand.

Or to look in their eyes with compassion.

Sometimes all we need to do is listen.

Not to fix anything or give advice, but simply to listen to their stories.

Because sometimes the person may feel to unheard and unseen that all they need is to know there is someone there who will listen and see them.

So holding space also require us to have no agenda.

To not be out for something or to provide a particular experience.

Perhaps it could more accurately be call providing space instead of holding space.

For that is the essence of what we do, provide the space for the person to have the experience they need in the moment.

It may sound simple yet that does not mean it is easy.

So have you learned to hold space for yourself yet?

~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant