What is the cause of violence?

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Why do people hurt each other?

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The answer is not so simple.

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For it is not about the action.

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We sometimes think that if someone hurts a person with a gun the answer is to get rid of the gun.

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And while not making guns so easy to obtain may help, that is only part of the answer.

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For if someone is truly set on hurting another, they will find something else to use instead.

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The answer lies not in focusing on the symptom, the act of violence.

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It lies in the underlying motivation of the person.

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Why do they want to hurt someone else?

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What is it that is causing them to commit such an act?

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Yes, hurt people do hurt people.

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Yet there is more to it than just that.

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For happy people do not hurt people.

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Content people do not hurt people.

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Satisfied people do not hurt people.

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And most of all, people who are connected to people do not hurt people.

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What causes most of the violence in the world?

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It comes from a profound lack of connection with oneself and others.

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From the unrecognized and unprocessed pain and sadness one experiences in life.

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For when we are hurt and angry and sad and have no way to deal with it, we lash out.

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Sometimes all it takes is to have one good friend to talk to.

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Or a community that we feel safe enough in to share our pain.

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Maybe even a loved one who we know is there for us in our time of grief.

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Yet when we have no one to turn to, no one to listen to us, no one to help us, we feel trapped.

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We are trapped by our own internal struggle.

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And the only thing we can imagine that will help us feel better is to inflict the same pain on to someone else.

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Of course, that doesn't help.

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Inflicting pain onto someone else only creates more pain.

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And that is when we choose to end ourselves, because we can see no way to find relief.

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The real challenge in our world is to find a way to help people from ever getting to that point.

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To find a way to come together, even in our alienation, to learn how many other people feel the exact same way.

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Connection and community are the antidote.

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Yet connection and community can only be formed when we are learning to connect with ourselves.

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When we stop running away from how we feel.

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When we know that there really is someone out there who cares.

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The cure for violence is the same cure for everything.

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It is love, pure and simple.

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When we learn to truly love each other, we will care about each other.

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And when we care about each other, we connect with each other.

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Then no one has to feel alone and isolated.

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And instead of acting out in pain, we can cry iand release the sadness that underlies it.

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When we all feel safe enough to cry, we will stop hurting each other.

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Do you feel isolated and alone?

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Are you running away from your pain?

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Can you find someone you feel safe enough to talk to about it?

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~ Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant

Host of The Conscious Consultant Hour