EPISODE SUMMARY:
Tommy D, the nonprofit sector connector, discussed his recent activities and upcoming projects while expressing his passion for corporate social responsibility and partnerships. He and Lauren Blodgett from The Brave House explore themes of kindness, joy, and the impact of micro-acts of service, sharing personal experiences and discussing team-building activities. They further discuss the value of organizational culture, employee well-being, and the importance of fostering positive work environments, while also touching on Lauren's background and the mission of The Brave House.
Tommy D kicks off the episode by introducing guest Lauren Blodgett to discuss the importance of joy as an action rather than a feeling, emphasizing micro-moments of kindness and how small gestures can have a significant impact. Tommy shares with us personal experiences from his time in the restaurant and service industry, highlighting the power of acknowledging and rewarding exceptional service, which can lead to positive ripple effects and inspire others to pay it forward. Both emphasize the value of building genuine connections and the potential for these interactions to influence others positively.
The second segment begins with Lauren sharing her experience with "Secret Agent Week" at the Brave House, where team members perform micro-acts of kindness for assigned colleagues without getting caught. Tommy expresses interest in implementing a similar concept at home with his children, emphasizing the importance of building relationships and receiving as well as giving. Both discuss the value of service work and the importance of allowing others to help, with Tommy acknowledging his past tendency to reject offers of assistance and his recent efforts to become a better receiver.
Lauren starts the third segment by describing her experience piloting a program for young immigrant and refugee women in New York City, which later evolved into the Brave House, a nonprofit that now serves over 500 young women annually through a combination of legal aid, therapy, wellness events, leadership development, and community support. She emphasizes the importance of "radical hospitality" in creating a welcoming and supportive environment for clients. Tommy compared this model to his client Venture House, a mental health organization that relies on its members for daily operations. They discuss the potential for collaboration with other organizations, such as Solace House, and agreed to continue their conversation in a future meeting.
In this closing segment, Tommy interviews Lauren asking her more about the Brave House. Lauren explains their holistic approach, which includes activities like drawing and making music to improve mental health, and highlighted their 99% success rate in legal cases. They discuss the importance of vicarious resilience and the impact of gratitude and joy on physical health. Lauren also describes their Wellness Wonderland event, a free wellness fair offering various services and activities for members. Tommy expressees interest in staying connected and potentially featuring Lauren and The Brave House in future projects.
00:00:50.810 --> 00:00:53.320 Tommy DiMisa: Connector coming at you, not…
00:00:53.320 --> 00:01:16.740 Tommy DiMisa: from the top of my house, just below the roof. Not two flights up from where I get my coffee. I had to actually brave the 25 degree weather here on Strong Island, and make it from the attic area out to my office. Shout out to Vanguard Benefits, that is our crew, that is our company, that is our business, and we are doing a great job with the Vanguard Business Hall of Fame Awards, the Hall of Fame Employer Awards, that is.
00:01:16.740 --> 00:01:41.640 Tommy DiMisa: We'll talk about that maybe some other time today, or maybe not, but just check us out, VanguardBenefitsuyo.com, that is our company, very focused on, and committed to the nonprofit sector. You know who I am, and you know we are. Just this week, I was hanging out with a group, 45 people in both the for-profit and nonprofit space. Shout out to Erica Floresca, Carol, and Nyricia over at Long Island Children's Museum for hosting us and giving us
00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:54.230 Tommy DiMisa: me the opportunity. By the way, the show's called Philanthropy and Focus Gang, so they're giving me the opportunity to, have my colleague Paul Howard from Sattel Institute. We'll talk about Sattel again. Actually, Paul's gonna come on the show.
00:01:54.230 --> 00:02:12.739 Tommy DiMisa: But we had an opportunity to talk about doing good is great for business. Doing good is great for business, and it was all about corporate social responsibility and the partnerships. And when you get to play the nonprofit sector connector, not just on TV, not just on radio, not just on YouTube, but I am the nonprofit sector connector, because two ways I know.
00:02:12.740 --> 00:02:28.310 Tommy DiMisa: First of all, I made it up, so I definitely know I am the guy. Plus, I put it on my business cards, so I know if I look down at my business card, it's there, and it must be true. If it's on a business card, if you put ink to it, it must be true, gang. Not that kind of ink, everybody. I don't have a tattoo that says the nonprofit sector. Connector.
00:02:28.310 --> 00:02:47.789 Tommy DiMisa: Maybe one day. Alright, so look, we're gonna talk about a lot of important things today. I want to say hello to Lauren Blodgett, founder, executive director of the Brave House. Coolest jacket I have seen in a while. It's not even really a jacket, Lauren. What… like, it's like a coat, it's like a fluffy coat. What is up, man? What's going on? Good morning.
00:02:48.150 --> 00:02:55.479 Lauren Blodgett: Good morning! Good morning, good morning. This is my fluffy rainbow coat, because… why not?
00:02:56.050 --> 00:02:58.630 Tommy DiMisa: You know what it looks… you know what inspires us? So this morning.
00:02:59.040 --> 00:03:16.549 Tommy DiMisa: I was watching a TEDx talk from BC Boston College, and there was this woman on the TEDx, and she's talking all about joy, and I'm telling you, that looks like a joyful coat, and I feel very… I feel very joyous seeing that coat, and it is a joyful time of year, holiday season, everybody, you know? I was saying, like.
00:03:16.550 --> 00:03:19.319 Tommy DiMisa: The reason… part of the reason I'm not in the attic
00:03:19.320 --> 00:03:38.350 Tommy DiMisa: is because it's, mrs. Claus is in the attic, making it into, you know, Mrs. Santa's workshop, Mrs. Claus' workshop. So I kind of got… I got… kind of got kicked out of the attic and was… was sent packing this morning, and that's, that's why I'm in the office. But I… I think this time of year is… is a great time to be joyful, but I think…
00:03:38.740 --> 00:03:54.580 Tommy DiMisa: Anytime's a great time to be joyful, which we're gonna get into, and why is he talking about joy? Well, because I was just coming out of listening to a TEDx talk where it finishes with, press play on joy. I like to say this, before we get into everything, I'd just like to say, you know, Lauren, a big thing for me is.
00:03:55.100 --> 00:03:56.609 Tommy DiMisa: You know, I talk about…
00:03:56.940 --> 00:04:10.819 Tommy DiMisa: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always. I say that all the time, right? That's one of my mantras, and we have some of your mantras. I actually wrote it on my whiteboard, I wrote it on my… it's on my… one of my monitors over there, on a sticky note.
00:04:10.820 --> 00:04:21.609 Tommy DiMisa: We'll get into some of that today. I just feel like that approaching everybody with love and compassion and realizing people are battling, people are fighting, I mean, I learned a little bit about your
00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:30.119 Tommy DiMisa: things you're going through in the TEDx talk just now, and have gone through, and, you know, we're all, we're all in it, man. We're all going through some stuff.
00:04:30.270 --> 00:04:41.160 Tommy DiMisa: So those two things standing out for me is, like, that compassion and love for people, not knowing what they're going through, and then this other thing, why the heck did we ever stop playing?
00:04:41.250 --> 00:05:02.249 Tommy DiMisa: why did we stop playing? And I… all I ever want to do is play, right? And, like, that was what was really coming up for me in listening to you speak about Joy on this TEDx talk this morning. Oh, by the way, that's the woman who was talking, everybody. If you couldn't… if you didn't know Tommy D, what I was doing there, I was watching… I was watching Lauren Joy Blodgett speak this morning.
00:05:02.250 --> 00:05:02.990 Tommy DiMisa: But, like.
00:05:02.990 --> 00:05:17.390 Tommy DiMisa: You know, typically what I do to prep for a show gang is I have my guests send in some information, a little backstory, I obviously check out LinkedIn, I go to the company website, but I absolutely love YouTube. By the way, if you found me on YouTube, like and subscribe.
00:05:17.880 --> 00:05:24.850 Tommy DiMisa: But if you watch YouTube, man, you can learn so much, and it is, I think.
00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:38.220 Tommy DiMisa: the second largest search engine, I think, behind Google, and I tell you, I searched most of my stuff there. It was funny, I was having lunch with a buddy of mine. He uses ChatGPT as a search engine now. I do not. I use it for other things.
00:05:38.220 --> 00:05:43.979 Tommy DiMisa: it's interesting how people do it, but I just said… I said, let me… I'm sitting here having my coffee in a…
00:05:43.980 --> 00:06:01.200 Tommy DiMisa: In a role, and I said, you know what? I'm gonna just Google, although I'm not Googling, I meant search. My daughter would say, search it up. I was searching it up, searching up Lauren Blodgett in YouTube, or on YouTube, and that's the first thing that came up, was this video. And I got, you know, I have a minute, there's, like.
00:06:01.200 --> 00:06:06.150 Tommy DiMisa: 42 seconds. We had to do a live show. So the other 42 seconds I'll have to listen to at the end.
00:06:06.480 --> 00:06:15.209 Tommy DiMisa: But I've just… there's so much access out there and opportunity to learn about people, and that's just, I guess, I think, where I'm going. Let's talk about this. We met originally…
00:06:15.910 --> 00:06:23.049 Tommy DiMisa: twice through the New York City Imagine Awards, right? So your team has been there a couple years in a row.
00:06:23.060 --> 00:06:36.759 Tommy DiMisa: Gang, if you don't know New York City Imagine Awards, I don't know what you're doing, you're not paying attention on what we're up to out there, but go to NYC Imagine Awards, Google New York City Imagine Awards, or send me an email, Tommyd at philanthropyandfocus, P-H-O-C-S dot com.
00:06:36.780 --> 00:06:43.269 Tommy DiMisa: I have, about… I'm halfway through reading the Long Island Imagine Wards applications. We meet next
00:06:43.340 --> 00:06:48.240 Tommy DiMisa: Tuesday to go through the Imagine Awards applications for Long Island, so…
00:06:48.240 --> 00:07:13.009 Tommy DiMisa: I have some work to do this weekend, to finish that up, so that's an exciting part of that process. So, there's always something, like, I… a friend of mine says, Tommy D, is there… do the Imagine Awards go on all year? Because I feel like you're always talking… yes, they go on all… absolutely. Wait till… wait till Ken Serini gets his way, and we go to the, the Westchester Imagine Awards. Here we come, Westchester. All right, now, without further ado, that's all the ranting and the raving and the Tommy D stuff.
00:07:13.060 --> 00:07:30.999 Tommy DiMisa: Lauren, this show is all about you. It's about you, your background, the young girls and women that you're impacting, you and your team that are supporting. I want to hear your story. I always talk about, you know, what… what was the Genesis story like? You were telling this story in this TEDx talk about… you mentioned, like, people
00:07:31.010 --> 00:07:45.960 Tommy DiMisa: you… one of your clients, you were sitting, waiting to… for a hearing, and you guys made a whole comic strip. Or… so what… what stood out for me there is, like, what is your Genesis story? We talk about, like, a lot, like, you hear, you know, the Hulk.
00:07:45.980 --> 00:07:57.299 Tommy DiMisa: or Captain America, or Wonder Woman. Like, they all have these, like, gen… like, what is the story? Like, how do we get to this organization called the Brave House? Take us down…
00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:05.869 Lauren Blodgett: Absolutely. And, Tommy, I love your energy. You're bringing the joy this morning.
00:08:05.870 --> 00:08:13.470 Tommy DiMisa: That's all I got. That's all I got, man, and I'm fighting. I'm a little under the weather, but I'm fighting a good fight, man. You gotta play hurt sometimes, Lauren. You know playing hurt, right? We know from playing hurt.
00:08:14.220 --> 00:08:20.790 Lauren Blodgett: Well… I love that. And something that you were talking about with Joy, something that's important to me.
00:08:21.260 --> 00:08:35.059 Lauren Blodgett: to… when we're thinking about joy, is that it's actually an action, not a feeling. So you don't have to be feeling well today, you don't have to be, you know, mentally or physically feeling well to still take joy-inspired actions.
00:08:35.059 --> 00:08:53.260 Lauren Blodgett: And so, whenever I'm thinking about joy, it's about doing the thing even… maybe especially when you don't feel like it. And so, little things like, today I woke up feeling a little bit under the weather, bam! I got my rainbow jacket, we're putting on a lip.
00:08:53.430 --> 00:09:06.500 Lauren Blodgett: We're gonna smile at people. Can you imagine New York City? We're gonna smile at people on the street. I might hold a door open for someone. It's these micro-moments of joy, actually. Like, I do want to talk about the Brave House.
00:09:06.500 --> 00:09:07.079 Tommy DiMisa: It will.
00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:08.389 Lauren Blodgett: that we're doing.
00:09:08.390 --> 00:09:09.180 Tommy DiMisa: We got there.
00:09:09.570 --> 00:09:10.130 Tommy DiMisa: Probably.
00:09:10.250 --> 00:09:22.440 Lauren Blodgett: That's a macro. Micro is, like, telling the cashier, oh my god, I love your earrings, or just wishing someone in the elevator, hey, I hope you have a great day today. It's those micro moments.
00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:33.370 Tommy DiMisa: Let me give you one of my micros. Let me give you one of my micros, because I grew up in the bar and restaurant business. It's actually how my wife and I met. My uncle owned a bar called Halligan's in Fall Park. He was a New York City fireman.
00:09:33.570 --> 00:09:45.080 Tommy DiMisa: we met that way, right? But the thing about… so, I know the service industry, right? From the time I was 12 years old, delivered newspapers, 13 years old, washing dishes in the deli, and then I started working at restaurants right after that, right?
00:09:46.080 --> 00:10:09.279 Tommy DiMisa: when you get good servicemen at a restaurant, it's great to give a good tip, of course. That's, like, par for the course, but when you get good service, gang, and you can ask to see the manager, and the manager comes over, and I promise you this, 99 out of 100 times that manager gets called over, it's for a crappy reason, nothing good. I'm like, they're like, they come over, sir, how can I help you? Is everything okay? Hey, man, listen.
00:10:09.290 --> 00:10:16.919 Tommy DiMisa: I know you guys are slammed, I know you're in the weeds, I know you're busy. I just want to let you know that Jackie, or Johnny, or Susie.
00:10:17.180 --> 00:10:35.530 Tommy DiMisa: crushed it. Absolutely crushed it. I couldn't even get halfway through my drink before they got me another fresh drink. There was extra napkins on the table. They were so thoughtful. They were so connected to what we were doing. They were so attentive. Gang, I'm telling you, I did this not too long ago at a restaurant here. I had some business associates that did it. And it's not just… this isn't just…
00:10:35.530 --> 00:10:41.810 Tommy DiMisa: when it's not legit. I'm talking about when it's legit, when somebody has legitimately gone the extra mile and is primo.
00:10:41.810 --> 00:10:49.400 Tommy DiMisa: You changed somebody… I got an email, Lauren, from this waitress, because I'd given her my card, because she wanted to,
00:10:49.460 --> 00:10:50.830 Tommy DiMisa: She wanted to go back to school.
00:10:51.310 --> 00:10:56.770 Tommy DiMisa: long story short, I build crazy rapport with people, because I'm totally interested with people, right? So…
00:10:57.130 --> 00:11:13.220 Tommy DiMisa: Long story short, I do what I just did, the whole thing, the manager comes over. In fact, I've had a lunch at that restaurant, now the manager knows who I am, just because of that move, right? And that's not why I did it, but that's what happens. But then, I got an email from the young woman, thank you so much for what you did, talking to my manager. And also.
00:11:13.830 --> 00:11:29.089 Tommy DiMisa: I took… I'm taking your advice, and I'm gonna go back to school, because that's really where my passion lies. That's not about me, everybody, and I'm telling you that to inspire you. Talk about micro-moments of joy. Like, how can you impact another person? What is the ripple effect of
00:11:29.090 --> 00:11:33.949 Tommy DiMisa: that. What is the ripple effect of this young woman sends me an email that she's now
00:11:33.950 --> 00:11:49.750 Tommy DiMisa: maybe we see each other again, maybe we never see each other again. I don't know, that's… it'd be cool if we did, but that's not the point. The point is, how… what does she take from my behavior, and then pay that forward? You know, that'll… that'll pay that… pay it forward movie. You know, it's so good. Jump in, Lauren. Jump in.
00:11:49.750 --> 00:11:51.940 Lauren Blodgett: That didn't cost you a dollar to say, hey, can I…
00:11:51.940 --> 00:11:52.649 Tommy DiMisa: It didn't cost me anything.
00:11:52.650 --> 00:11:57.490 Lauren Blodgett: Not at all. All it took was, I guess, your time, which… what did I add, another minute?
00:11:57.490 --> 00:11:58.330 Tommy DiMisa: That shit in her anyway.
00:11:58.330 --> 00:11:58.900 Lauren Blodgett: Right.
00:11:58.900 --> 00:12:09.830 Tommy DiMisa: sitting at the table, I was… I was paying… we were paying a check. It was, like, not even a… it was nothing extra. But it's an absolute game changer. Game changer. And… and because I… and I also know how difficult… like.
00:12:09.830 --> 00:12:20.100 Tommy DiMisa: I met a guy one time, and then we gotta talk about you, but I met a guy one time, I used to be a salesman for ADP Payroll Services, I was very young, I'm, like, 25 years old, 26 years old. We go into,
00:12:20.700 --> 00:12:31.109 Tommy DiMisa: Outback Steakhouse, and I meet this guy, right? His name is Frank. Long story short, because it is a long story, I will make it short. He… I say, you should come in for a job. He gets a job at ADP,
00:12:31.890 --> 00:12:35.960 Tommy DiMisa: Froshgate. I had left, and years later, he's still there.
00:12:35.960 --> 00:13:00.199 Tommy DiMisa: destroyed anybody's numbers. The kid was a machine, right? And I tell you that because I saw something, and he was… he was quote-unquote, just a waiter at a restaurant. And gang, I don't mean that, you know what I'm saying? That's what people might say. No, no, no. There's talent. People are talented. Those are jobs that people do, because we gotta do them. But I saw an opportunity, because the kid, he had swag. He wanted to talk. I didn't want the steak, I ended up buying a steak.
00:13:00.200 --> 00:13:09.299 Tommy DiMisa: he convinced me and my buddy to buy steaks, and he was buying us back beers. I'm sober 15 years, but I wasn't then. But he was buying us beers back at the table. The point of the matter is.
00:13:09.420 --> 00:13:16.890 Tommy DiMisa: It's all about the relationships. Lauren, talk to me about that stuff. I mean, this is… you're empowering young women all the time in some of the work you're doing. Take it away.
00:13:17.490 --> 00:13:19.760 Lauren Blodgett: Absolutely.
00:13:19.880 --> 00:13:38.299 Lauren Blodgett: So I want to talk about… you're talking about relationships, I want to talk about the work we do at the Brave House. We work with young immigrant women here in New York City. I also want to share about the importance of your team and relationships within your team. So, a quick story I want to share with you, because it's really relevant.
00:13:38.300 --> 00:13:44.619 Lauren Blodgett: to this week. So this week, at my office, we're doing something called Secret Agent Week.
00:13:44.760 --> 00:14:03.499 Lauren Blodgett: So, we have a team, full-time staff, of 5 right now. We also have, like, an army of volunteers and board and all that, but in terms of our full-time team, it's 5 of us. So, for Secret Agent Week, at the beginning of the week, we all get a secret assignment. We get assigned someone else on the team.
00:14:03.550 --> 00:14:16.570 Lauren Blodgett: And the goal of the week is that the person that I was assigned, I need to take micro-actions to make sure she has the best week she's ever had, but I want to not get caught.
00:14:16.630 --> 00:14:17.470 Lauren Blodgett: So I do it…
00:14:17.470 --> 00:14:32.170 Tommy DiMisa: Alright, cool, cool, cool, hold on, hold on, hold on, I'm having fun with this. So, like, look at me, I'm like 5. See, that's why I like Playtime. So, alright, so, it's like Secret Santa, except it's like, you just make that person, like, the, like, have an awesome week, and, like, just little things, but you can't get caught.
00:14:32.170 --> 00:14:57.140 Lauren Blodgett: Don't get caught, so that's the… so, like, I will maybe put a smoothie on her desk, because… and I know what type of flavor she likes, and I'll put it there, but I'll do it when no one else is around, or I'll leave a little note saying, you're amazing, da-da-da-da-da, and I'll put it there when she's not watching. Or maybe it's other things that are, like, I'm gonna be really prepared to any meeting I have with her. I'm going to make
00:14:57.140 --> 00:15:02.440 Lauren Blodgett: her workflow easier that week. I'm going to put more attention on…
00:15:02.440 --> 00:15:10.500 Tommy DiMisa: Does everybody know… hold on, though, does everybody… like, everyone's participating, but they don't know who their secret agent is? They don't know who has who, so it's also…
00:15:10.500 --> 00:15:13.430 Lauren Blodgett: It's very playful, because we're all kind of suspicious of.
00:15:13.430 --> 00:15:13.859 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:13.860 --> 00:15:15.290 Lauren Blodgett: Sneaking around.
00:15:15.290 --> 00:15:38.009 Tommy DiMisa: But it also… but it also… it just elevates the culture for the week, where, like, everything's grooving, because, like, everybody's… because… so I'm being playful, right? Because I'm trying not to get caught, and I'm trying to hook people up, right? Or an individual person up, and everybody's doing that, but also, like, my stuff must be… whatever, whoever's hooking me up, my stuff must be better, right? So I'm digging it, so I'm having a great week.
00:15:38.010 --> 00:15:39.020 Tommy DiMisa: Wow, I think…
00:15:39.020 --> 00:15:46.129 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, I came back to my desk, and there was a cup of coffee and my favorite chocolate bar on my desk, and I'm like, this is amazing!
00:15:46.130 --> 00:16:03.459 Tommy DiMisa: I love it. I love that. I love Secret Agent Week. You know what I'm gonna do, actually? So I have four children, and my wife and I, I'm thinking we should play Secret Agent, like, at my house, because the thing about it, when you have kids, gang, kids… a guy… guy I used to work with used to say to me, Tommy, you know what it is.
00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:09.170 Tommy DiMisa: they're just little humans. And I think early on in fatherhood, I hadn't realized that.
00:16:09.170 --> 00:16:12.550 Lauren Blodgett: They're little humans, and we're just big babies.
00:16:12.550 --> 00:16:18.120 Tommy DiMisa: You know, we don't know each other that well. You've figured me out pretty quick. I am a big baby.
00:16:18.610 --> 00:16:35.919 Tommy DiMisa: But the thing about it is, like, they, you know, they don't always get along, and they mess with each other, and… and I think it's… it's like a situation where if you're… if they're looking out and competitively trying to hook each other up… I'm big on that word. I mean, I… I had this quote.
00:16:35.920 --> 00:16:47.000 Tommy DiMisa: about hooking people up that, like, I wrote on a, like, on a piece of paper in 1999, and it's, like, on my whiteboard in my home office, because it was all about hooking people up, because I always felt that there was this thing about.
00:16:47.590 --> 00:17:04.109 Tommy DiMisa: you know, not hooking up like that, gang, like, that's a different hooking up, but before we… before people talked about hooking up was, like, you know, a romantic thing, it was just like, let me hook you up, man, like, what do you need? I'll hook you up. You know, like, that was the thing we talked about back in my day, and I just think there's…
00:17:04.109 --> 00:17:13.319 Tommy DiMisa: God, and something you said resonated with me, and we're gonna go to break, but something you said in that TEDx resonated with me, and it's something I'm working on, because…
00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:17.180 Tommy DiMisa: It's about… So…
00:17:17.430 --> 00:17:34.739 Tommy DiMisa: It's so funny. I talk a lot about… we're going to break in a sec, everybody, but I talk a lot about, like, I used to do something called 60 Days of Service, Lauren, and everybody, where I would go out and volunteer for nonprofit organizations. We're going to bring it back, because now I have a film crew, and it's a whole other thing. But I used to say the trick about service work and volunteering
00:17:34.740 --> 00:17:37.799 Tommy DiMisa: Is, it's… it's not all that selfless.
00:17:37.800 --> 00:17:58.900 Tommy DiMisa: Because it feels really freaking good to do. Yeah. So it's kind of like a selfish… selflessness, and… but you said something in that TEDx talk about generosity serves the giver. And I'm working on being better at, and this is the last couple years, being a better receiver, because for years, like, say you and I met in a business setting, right? And you were like, oh, Tommy, I do this, and what are you doing? And I'm like.
00:17:58.900 --> 00:18:09.429 Tommy DiMisa: All right, let me… Lauren, I'm gonna hook you up with all these people. And you'd be like, alright, cool, how do I help you? And I'd be like, don't worry about it, I'm good. But what I actually realized over the years, gang, listen up, if you're like me, if you're like a people pleaser and a giver.
00:18:09.760 --> 00:18:18.069 Tommy DiMisa: the other person wants to give just as much as you do, and I've learned this over the years. I've learned it. I actually, and I'm… I'm not gonna say, like, I'm…
00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:41.760 Tommy DiMisa: Alright, I will say, I'm regretful that I took that away from people over the years, and didn't allow them that opportunity when they wanted to give. And in all honesty, from a business perspective, it hasn't served me all that well, because there's a lot of opportunities that I could have taken advantage of that I didn't, because I pushed away people hooking me up. Anyway, gang, if you're listening, you want to hook me up, TommyD at philanthropyandfocus.com.
00:18:41.760 --> 00:18:51.840 Tommy DiMisa: Let's connect, let's talk about Vanguard benefits, let's talk about everything. We gotta go to a break. Lauren Blodgett, The Brave House, Tommy D, all over the map. The show is called In Focus, but it's out of focus. We're right back.
00:20:32.080 --> 00:20:55.709 Tommy DiMisa: Alright, if you go there, if you go there, I'm not gonna be there, so don't show up at the attic, gang. I love how there's this one photo, shout out to the website, everybody, the website is thebraveHouse.com. If you're listen-only mode, as they say, go to thebraveHouse.com. I love the hearts, and there's, like, this one picture where the young girls have, like, a heart, and they're putting, like, half a heart in each of the two directions. I love that, I dig it. I dig it. You know, it's,
00:20:55.710 --> 00:20:59.790 Tommy DiMisa: It's funny, it's like… It's so much fun to…
00:21:00.050 --> 00:21:11.219 Tommy DiMisa: just, like, be silly, right? And I think, like, especially what you're talking about, like, as you were talking about Secret Agent Week, right? I'm, like, going to myself.
00:21:12.600 --> 00:21:23.070 Tommy DiMisa: would that work here? So, like, I got an office, like, I got my two business partners, and we have two staffers, and then we have another team over here, and they're probably, like, half a dozen, so maybe it's, like, a dozen of us here.
00:21:23.510 --> 00:21:25.969 Tommy DiMisa: I think it would work, because, like, I…
00:21:26.090 --> 00:21:35.479 Tommy DiMisa: I think it would be fun here, and… but it's a little bit, it's a little bit silly, and it's a little bit vulnerable, right? And, like, men don't always get to play the same way.
00:21:35.480 --> 00:21:35.910 Lauren Blodgett: Just straight.
00:21:35.910 --> 00:21:38.070 Tommy DiMisa: Right off, right? Right or wrong, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:38.270 --> 00:21:48.500 Lauren Blodgett: I mean, I came… speaking of silly, I came into the office yesterday, I opened up the door, I unlocked it, because it… I thought I was the first person in the office that day.
00:21:48.500 --> 00:22:01.440 Lauren Blodgett: but everyone's being sneaky. I open up the door, someone on my team, I still don't know who it was, had come in and wrapped all of our desks in, like, Christmas wrapping paper.
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:02.909 Tommy DiMisa: So you had to, like, unwrap your desk?
00:22:02.910 --> 00:22:06.469 Lauren Blodgett: Just, like, unwrap, like, to get to my computer. Like, unwrap.
00:22:06.750 --> 00:22:07.280 Tommy DiMisa: Oh my god.
00:22:07.280 --> 00:22:08.650 Lauren Blodgett: blow off, like, it was.
00:22:08.650 --> 00:22:10.940 Tommy DiMisa: Did you watch… did you watch The Office?
00:22:10.940 --> 00:22:12.110 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, yeah.
00:22:12.110 --> 00:22:18.270 Tommy DiMisa: They, like, it would take, like, Dwight's stuff and, like, put his phone and staple, like, in jello and stuff like that, like…
00:22:18.270 --> 00:22:31.969 Lauren Blodgett: So delightful. If you do it, the trick also is to have a spreadsheet where everyone ahead of time puts what's their favorite AM beverage, favorite PM beverage, favorite snack, favorite color.
00:22:31.970 --> 00:22:40.280 Lauren Blodgett: So you're not guessing, you know? You're, like, getting people things that you know that they like, you're not getting someone coffee if they really only drink tea, like, that kind of stuff.
00:22:40.450 --> 00:22:43.650 Tommy DiMisa: It's… it's so funny, so I… I just accepted…
00:22:44.650 --> 00:22:45.810 Tommy DiMisa: an honor
00:22:45.890 --> 00:22:58.749 Tommy DiMisa: what actually happens next year, and I'm looking… I want to tell everybody, this is hysterical, in the middle of a live show, I'm trying to Google the name of a cake. So, like, I'm…
00:22:58.770 --> 00:23:10.309 Tommy DiMisa: there's a campaign for the Visionary Campaign for Blood Cancer United, which used to be called Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. As it turns out, this mission is very, very important to me personally.
00:23:10.670 --> 00:23:14.459 Tommy DiMisa: Coming into 26, gang, I'll share more why.
00:23:14.460 --> 00:23:30.790 Tommy DiMisa: But, I didn't know we were going to be so real and open with the story in this campaign, but it turns out we are, and I'll… again, that's like a… just a tease. But I was filling out this form yesterday, and they were asking these questions, like, similar to what,
00:23:30.790 --> 00:23:52.970 Tommy DiMisa: what you were talking about, like, your intake from your law practice about, you know, your favorite color and different things people are into, right? Your hobby. So, this intake form for… to be a visionary next year asks me what my favorite snack is. So, my favorite thing is there's this cake that Entenmann's makes. It's a chocolate chip loaf cake.
00:23:52.970 --> 00:23:54.990 Tommy DiMisa: I destroy this cake. Like.
00:23:55.680 --> 00:24:17.599 Tommy DiMisa: cake that, like, appropriately, it was probably made for, like, 5 people. It probably says on a box somewhere, like, serves 5 to 7 people. No, it doesn't. It serves one Tommy D. I mean, it might serve a lot of other… but if you… what you do is you cut it into hunks, and then you cut it into strips, and you're able to eat the entire… I mean, I'm not a big guy, like, you know, 6 foot 180, right? But, like, I just crushed that cake. So that's a thing that people know.
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:22.470 Tommy DiMisa: I had a friend of mine, early COVID, like, super early COVID, like.
00:24:22.470 --> 00:24:40.200 Tommy DiMisa: shouldn't have been in my house early COVID, like those days. Look at you writing down the cake. So, I saw you. You don't think I do this? This is what I do, I listen for these things myself, so I saw you do it. It's a chocolate chip loaf cake. So, my buddy shows up, my buddy and his wife, they come… they came up from New Jersey.
00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:41.899 Tommy DiMisa: And they showed up with 6.
00:24:41.900 --> 00:24:56.219 Tommy DiMisa: and Dimens chocolate chip loaf Cakes. And believe me, they didn't… none of them was thrown away, believe me. Anyway, so it's… I love that, because that little intake that you all do is like, how can I serve you over the next week? How can I make this? How often do you guys do that?
00:24:56.220 --> 00:25:06.559 Tommy DiMisa: Because this is the fun, I promise you, we're going to get into all the programs, we're not going to run out of time, we're going to tell all stories, but I think this stuff is the culture of your organization, that joy. So how often do you do that?
00:25:06.560 --> 00:25:21.609 Lauren Blodgett: I think… I believe the way you do anything is the way you do everything, so I'm not about building a nonprofit to serve folks that's rooted in joy and seeing people as a whole person if I'm not also implementing that with my internal team.
00:25:21.910 --> 00:25:29.370 Tommy DiMisa: That's the whole thing! That's the whole thing. I try not to talk too much about us on the show Me My Company, because I feel like it's self-serving, but it is my show.
00:25:29.370 --> 00:25:43.559 Tommy DiMisa: With Vanguard Benefits, we talk about culture. We talk about what is the culture of an organization, employee benefits, yeah, but how are you serving your people? We had such a dynamic… I'm sorry you weren't there on Tuesday, we had such a dynamic conversation with these, like, 45 or 50
00:25:43.560 --> 00:25:58.209 Tommy DiMisa: both nonprofits and for-profits, talking about the importance of corporate social responsibility and the importance of taking care of your people, whether you're a for-profit or non-profit, pouring into your people. Because I believed for years, ever since we made this decision to be Vanguard Benefits and be for the sector.
00:25:58.210 --> 00:26:13.890 Tommy DiMisa: that if I can come to nonprofits and help them help their people, meaning their internal, their staff, their associates, their team, however they refer to those people, well, then those people are better positioned to serve the community that they're serving. And that's the thing I hear you saying, so… so it does feel…
00:26:13.890 --> 00:26:28.889 Lauren Blodgett: work, I want you to love coming in. I want you to feel like your team loves you and values you. I want my team to, even if they go on to work other places, I want them to never forget their time working at the Brave House and be like, wow.
00:26:29.040 --> 00:26:33.400 Lauren Blodgett: No other work culture was ever that good, ever that fun.
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:40.989 Tommy DiMisa: But even what's good about… and I love that, and I'd love for them to take that culture and implement it wherever they go, too.
00:26:40.990 --> 00:26:41.850 Lauren Blodgett: Sure, yeah.
00:26:41.850 --> 00:26:42.920 Tommy DiMisa: Right?
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:45.350 Lauren Blodgett: We're all just building the, like, why not?
00:26:45.900 --> 00:26:46.989 Tommy DiMisa: 100%, like, less…
00:26:46.990 --> 00:26:49.639 Lauren Blodgett: This reality that we're living in.
00:26:49.640 --> 00:27:01.230 Tommy DiMisa: I love that, we're building the reality, too. I love… I mean, we're gonna be so cool together. So, here's the thing. So, like, I have a friend named John Miller, he was on the show last week. He's the executive director of Guide Dog Foundation and America's Vet Dogs.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:18.070 Tommy DiMisa: he was talking about his time at American Red Cross, and professional development was so critically important for team there that he took a lot of that and rolled that right into his work, where he does now. Again, focused on team, focused on professional development, focused on… because again.
00:27:18.140 --> 00:27:36.370 Tommy DiMisa: like I say, I think the better we are, the better we are for our people that we serve, right? If I'm not so worried about my health insurance coverage, or if I'm not worried about, you know, my PTO, well, then I'm a better… in a better mindset. I'll talk about hashtag ending the Stigma Together, which is one of my other shows, hashtag ending the Stigma around mental health.
00:27:36.470 --> 00:27:47.569 Tommy DiMisa: Gang, mental health, we gotta pour into our people, check in on people. Please, please, please check in on people, especially this time of year. Check in on people, gang.
00:27:47.570 --> 00:27:49.540 Lauren Blodgett: She'll be your strong friends, especially.
00:27:49.540 --> 00:27:50.559 Tommy DiMisa: Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:27:50.560 --> 00:27:58.740 Lauren Blodgett: always okay, because I honestly think that everyone is just, like, scared and in pain a lot.
00:27:58.740 --> 00:28:15.069 Tommy DiMisa: And not just… yeah, I agree with you, especially your strong friends, but especially men, gang, because there's a really easy answer. Whenever… how you doing? Fine? How you doing? Everything's great. Yeah. It's not always great, gang. I've spoken on this on a lot of different occasions.
00:28:15.070 --> 00:28:20.829 Tommy DiMisa: Please, please, please. Alright, let's put that aside, soapbox aside, put that back over there, good. So…
00:28:20.830 --> 00:28:28.520 Tommy DiMisa: how does this organization end up coming to be? Like, where… tell me… tell me your story. Where did you grow up? What are you studying in school?
00:28:28.520 --> 00:28:30.859 Lauren Blodgett: I grew up outside of Boston.
00:28:31.010 --> 00:28:49.839 Lauren Blodgett: and was raised by a family of public servants. So everyone in my family is either a teacher, or a nurse, or in government, doing something that is serving, giving back to the community. And I just grew up learning that's the whole point. That's the whole point of
00:28:49.840 --> 00:29:04.950 Lauren Blodgett: of the game is to be of service in your specific way. I think there's so many ways that you can be of service. It doesn't have to be at a nonprofit or in a school, but just having that mindset of, you're on this earth to be of service to others.
00:29:05.060 --> 00:29:15.779 Lauren Blodgett: And so, I grew up with that mindset, I grew up also my mom's side of the family came from Portugal, they came through Ellis Island, and just…
00:29:15.890 --> 00:29:22.339 Lauren Blodgett: you know, helped. They were really cornerstone of the Portuguese community outside of Boston.
00:29:22.460 --> 00:29:28.969 Lauren Blodgett: did a lot of organizing in the neighborhood, things like that. So I grew up also with the mentality of.
00:29:29.150 --> 00:29:44.070 Lauren Blodgett: immigrants make America great. Immigrants are the thread of this country. Almost anyone you ask has some immigrant story in their family, unless you're Indigenous, Native American here, but…
00:29:44.070 --> 00:29:49.450 Lauren Blodgett: For the most part, anyone you ask can kind of tell what's the story of how your family came here.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:30:01.030 Lauren Blodgett: So, all of that was shaping my passion to want to go into law school and see how I can learn about specifically human rights, specifically for women.
00:30:01.160 --> 00:30:04.709 Lauren Blodgett: and how I can use that degree to…
00:30:04.830 --> 00:30:10.729 Lauren Blodgett: Make more safety and more joy, and more empowerment for women.
00:30:11.070 --> 00:30:26.169 Tommy DiMisa: Perfect spot to stop, take a quick break, well done, it's like you're a professional. Look at that, we're gonna leave them on a cliffhanger. I got 900 questions, which we'll never get to. Maybe we'll get to 800 of them. But look, we're gonna take human rights, we're gonna talk about law school, I wanna, when we come back, you know.
00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:28.210 Tommy DiMisa: There's so much here.
00:30:28.410 --> 00:30:39.509 Tommy DiMisa: I'm… I'm feeling joy. I'm feeling very joyful right now, and I'm being intentional about it. I gave a speech the other day, and I talked about being intentional and being deliberate, and… and I think it's… it's…
00:30:39.510 --> 00:31:01.880 Tommy DiMisa: deliberately finding joy in your day. I'll tell you about that when we come back, but I think there's so much, if we look for it, it's there. Good or bad, gang. If you look for it, it's there. You want to see joy, you want to see gratitude, you want to be in it. I know you mentioned you're writing a gratitude journal. I got a lot of friends who do that. It's critically important to remind yourself of that. Let's take a quick break. Tommy D, Philanthropy and Focus. Lauren Blodgett is here from the Brave House.
00:32:29.110 --> 00:32:41.860 Tommy DiMisa: Nonprofits need connections To move in good directions So cut through all the static Join Tommy in his attic.
00:32:41.860 --> 00:33:06.819 Tommy DiMisa: Your boy is back, Tommy D is back. Cha-cha-cha! Alright, so here's the thing. So the website is thebraveHouse.com. The executive director and founder is called Lauren Blodgett. I am called Tommy D, the nonprofit sector connector. Our why. So when Lauren and I met yesterday, I like to do a prep call with my guest when we met yesterday. She says, you know, Tommy, what is our shared why? And I was… I've only thought about that since, every 15 minutes since you said that to me.
00:33:06.820 --> 00:33:20.820 Tommy DiMisa: 3.30, 4 o'clock yesterday afternoon, because I love to think about why. But right on the website, gang, it says, our why. Women across the world face violence and discrimination due to their gender. In fact, 1 in 3 women face some type of sexual harm.
00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:22.910 Tommy DiMisa: In their lifetime, 1 in 3.
00:33:23.100 --> 00:33:37.029 Tommy DiMisa: Look around where you are right now, see 3 women, 1 and 3, okay? Young people fleeing this gender-based violence arrive in the United States and do not have the right to a free attorney to advocate for their protection of their human rights. Unaccompanied children
00:33:37.030 --> 00:33:44.839 Tommy DiMisa: with legal representation are more than 7 times more likely to remain in this country than those who do not have legal support.
00:33:44.980 --> 00:34:03.540 Tommy DiMisa: Gang, I can't think of a time in history where conversations like this are more appropriate than ever. These discussions, Lauren, so I fast-forwarded us a little bit, and I'm going to rewind us back to, you know, you're going to law school. How… why was,
00:34:03.700 --> 00:34:09.400 Tommy DiMisa: Women's rights, young women's rights, gender-based violence, why, as a young person, human rights
00:34:10.199 --> 00:34:18.260 Tommy DiMisa: you know, did you always know you were going to go to law school, and where was the point where you said, instead of doing mergers and acquisitions, let me go help people? Like, what was, like, where was that?
00:34:19.340 --> 00:34:21.250 Lauren Blodgett: Totally,
00:34:21.389 --> 00:34:45.099 Lauren Blodgett: So I did not know that I was always going to go to law school, but my parents knew, apparently. They were like, oh, we could have told you when you were 7 that you… I wanted to get a trampoline, and they said no, so I, like, as a 7-year-old, made a petition and had, like, people in the neighborhood sign it. Like, I was drawing contracts since I was, like, 10, so apparently it's been in my blood since I was a little kid, but…
00:34:45.100 --> 00:34:47.610 Lauren Blodgett: But…
00:34:47.610 --> 00:34:55.419 Tommy DiMisa: I can see, like, 7-year-old, like, Billy Badass Lauren, like, walking around with, like, a little briefcase, like, okay, here's… here's what we're gonna discuss.
00:34:55.420 --> 00:34:58.679 Lauren Blodgett: I tried negotiating with Santa, it was just like…
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:07.840 Lauren Blodgett: Anyways, I studied international human rights in undergrad, and just through that, I just saw how the law.
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:20.979 Tommy DiMisa: Why? Why? What drew you there? Like, what was the thing, like, you know, because that… I don't want to say that's not typical, because I don't know from typical, but I just know, like, what was the draw as an 18-year-old young woman going, like, I want to learn about this?
00:35:22.770 --> 00:35:24.010 Lauren Blodgett: I just think…
00:35:24.260 --> 00:35:31.369 Lauren Blodgett: At the most fundamental level, everyone deserves a life of safety, and where they're not being harmed.
00:35:31.590 --> 00:35:32.650 Lauren Blodgett: Period.
00:35:32.670 --> 00:35:40.089 Lauren Blodgett: And I see that laws are what, like, govern that. Depending on your country, depending on where you live, you're allowed to
00:35:40.090 --> 00:35:54.419 Lauren Blodgett: to do certain things to certain people. Like, in Morocco, up until about 10 years ago, they had certain laws that you were legally allowed to sexually abuse a woman as long as you married her after.
00:35:55.210 --> 00:36:13.269 Lauren Blodgett: Like, that wasn't repealed until it was in the 2000s. So, the laws I just saw as that is what is dictating what can and cannot happen to people. And so, that just, like, fundamental, I want, a world where everyone is safe and not just surviving, but also thriving.
00:36:13.270 --> 00:36:30.230 Lauren Blodgett: Also, just in terms of my, like, core personality, I've always been the one who roots for the underdog and wants to support the, you know, growing up, seeing people bullied. I always wanted to be the one who's, like, stepping up against the bully. I've just, like, always had that.
00:36:30.980 --> 00:36:33.550 Tommy DiMisa: I love that. I love that. Do you have siblings?
00:36:33.960 --> 00:36:35.470 Lauren Blodgett: I have two older brothers.
00:36:35.470 --> 00:36:37.289 Tommy DiMisa: Okay, yeah.
00:36:37.590 --> 00:36:46.480 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, I… I love this story. So, you're… this is your study, and you traveled around the globe, too, for… during your education, so tell us about that.
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:56.949 Lauren Blodgett: Traveled, yeah, I traveled all over. I worked in different human rights nonprofits in Thailand. I was doing anti-child trafficking
00:36:56.950 --> 00:37:08.549 Lauren Blodgett: cases there. I was in Morocco doing women's rights. I was in India. I was in Geneva doing anti-torture.
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:19.970 Lauren Blodgett: Before the UN, so I kind of was all… all over the place, and it's like, I think it was in The Alchemist, where you have to, like, travel the world to come back home type of thing.
00:37:19.970 --> 00:37:21.310 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, yeah.
00:37:21.310 --> 00:37:32.510 Lauren Blodgett: I was working at an immigrant clinic at my law school, and I was able to work with people from all over the world, but here, in my home turf.
00:37:32.810 --> 00:37:46.439 Lauren Blodgett: and was able to actually, instead of advocating for big laws, I could just talk to one person, and look them in the eye, and hear their stories, and I'm an endlessly curious person, so I would just… I loved…
00:37:46.720 --> 00:37:57.350 Lauren Blodgett: talking to people and hearing their… not just what happened to them, but also their dreams for the future, and what they want to do if they can stay here, and I could spend
00:37:57.350 --> 00:38:08.719 Lauren Blodgett: hours doing that, and never get tired. So, it's that finding what you're passionate about, and what you're good at, and also what lights you up. Like, it… I had to find that…
00:38:08.720 --> 00:38:20.780 Tommy DiMisa: Right? You gotta find, like, those circles that overlap, and, like, then that is where your bliss is supposed to be. So, like, here's what I'm good at, here's what I'm passion, right? And then here's what lights me up, and all that type of stuff, right?
00:38:20.950 --> 00:38:25.899 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, so that was what led me to working with, specifically with girls.
00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:42.060 Lauren Blodgett: who are survivors of gender-based violence, which, you know, can encompass so many things. That could be sex trafficking, sexual abuse, like, discrimination and violence and harassment based on their gender, and just as a woman, I've…
00:38:42.060 --> 00:38:44.879 Lauren Blodgett: Personally experienced a range of
00:38:45.170 --> 00:38:58.979 Lauren Blodgett: things and trauma based on my gender, so that's a very easy thing for me to have compassion for and relate to and get fired up about. So, I started working with girls as young as, like, 5 years old.
00:38:59.340 --> 00:39:16.719 Lauren Blodgett: And as you were working, they don't have the right to a free attorney. So, like, can you picture a 5-year-old, and you have children, right? Like, literally imagine a 5-year-old, and then imagine them sitting in a courtroom, in front of a judge.
00:39:16.990 --> 00:39:21.209 Lauren Blodgett: at the table, right? And they're so little that the feet are…
00:39:21.210 --> 00:39:21.710 Tommy DiMisa: you can.
00:39:21.710 --> 00:39:22.070 Lauren Blodgett: swinging.
00:39:22.070 --> 00:39:22.540 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah.
00:39:22.540 --> 00:39:26.260 Lauren Blodgett: I'm in the chair, and they're supposed to just represent themselves in court.
00:39:26.260 --> 00:39:27.380 Tommy DiMisa: At 5?
00:39:27.380 --> 00:39:28.499 Lauren Blodgett: At 5 years old.
00:39:28.500 --> 00:39:30.889 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, I mean, come on, I, I…
00:39:31.140 --> 00:39:36.070 Tommy DiMisa: That's just a… that's like a kangaroo court. Like, what are we talking about here? That's, like, ridiculous.
00:39:36.070 --> 00:39:43.330 Lauren Blodgett: So it was a no-brainer, and then my first client was that little, and that young, and, you know, wearing the pink fluffy dress, and the whole thing.
00:39:43.330 --> 00:39:44.240 Tommy DiMisa: knowledge.
00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:45.999 Lauren Blodgett: Get out of your mind.
00:39:46.220 --> 00:39:54.700 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, and go to… go to YouTube, and type in Lauren Blodgett, and check out this TEDx talk at Boston College, and you're just… what a great, great…
00:39:54.760 --> 00:40:06.629 Tommy DiMisa: story, and it flows into what we're talking about today. I want to just… were you in private practice while that was going on? Were you working for a firm? How does that work? A public defender? Like, what is that?
00:40:07.090 --> 00:40:21.340 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, so for those first clients, I was working at another nonprofit in New York City, which is where I essentially piloted the concept for the Brave House. So, I was at another non-profit.
00:40:21.770 --> 00:40:41.409 Lauren Blodgett: doing this work, I had a caseload, dozens of young girls, young women, and it was like that movie Groundhog Day, where I would hear the same thing over and over again, in terms of what they had experienced, but also, I would be sitting with them, and they would, over and over, be like.
00:40:41.580 --> 00:40:49.570 Lauren Blodgett: okay, I know we need to do the legal case, but also, like, how do I enroll in school, and how do I get health insurance, and where can I make friends?
00:40:49.830 --> 00:40:56.050 Lauren Blodgett: And want to talk about mental health, or talking to me about getting their first period.
00:40:56.050 --> 00:41:02.030 Tommy DiMisa: And that organization didn't have those resources or those, like, referrals to be able to be made.
00:41:02.030 --> 00:41:05.680 Lauren Blodgett: At that time, it wasn't, I mean…
00:41:05.710 --> 00:41:08.940 Lauren Blodgett: It was more just, like, legal there. Yeah, sure.
00:41:08.940 --> 00:41:33.099 Lauren Blodgett: So, at that organization, I started a girls group, where I was like, alright, well, we can get together and do resumes, and we can go, like, ice skating at Rockefell Center under the tree, and we can, like, do some of these things together. And then there was so much interest in that little group that I was just doing on the side, that it grew, and we kind of spun off, and it became its own organization, where now…
00:41:33.170 --> 00:41:47.090 Lauren Blodgett: Today, at the Brave House, we reach… well, so we're 7 years old, we reach over 500 young immigrant and refugee women a year, and we do this blend of legal aid, since
00:41:47.130 --> 00:42:06.860 Lauren Blodgett: Legal is always at the cornerstone, but also we give free therapy, and we do wellness events, and I want to tell you about our Wellness Wonderlands that we did last week. We do leadership development, like, education, job readiness, and then we do community, just a place to, like, make friends and
00:42:06.860 --> 00:42:12.209 Lauren Blodgett: Be a young person, be a kid, laugh, be silly, all of that.
00:42:12.210 --> 00:42:16.990 Lauren Blodgett: So, it's really this one-stop-shop model where you can come and
00:42:16.990 --> 00:42:32.069 Lauren Blodgett: we practice radical hospitality, which is this concept of, like, oh, I'm so happy you're here, not just like, okay, yeah, you can be here and, like, receive these services. It's like, no, like, you're the family, like, we know you, and we love you, and.
00:42:32.070 --> 00:42:34.690 Tommy DiMisa: And we miss you when you're not here, right?
00:42:34.690 --> 00:42:39.370 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, like, you are adding value to this space.
00:42:39.370 --> 00:43:04.360 Tommy DiMisa: community. It reminds me a little bit of the model of the, one of my clients, called Venture House, which is a mental health organization, but they're a clubhouse setting, where they're specifically short-staffed, meaning they don't have enough people to… that are on the payroll, so the members of the clubhouse with a serious and persistent mental illness will… are an integral part of the community. So, like, maybe somebody is in charge of the kitchen, maybe somebody
00:43:04.360 --> 00:43:13.599 Tommy DiMisa: you know, maybe somebody does some maintenance or whatever, but, like, the thing doesn't exist without the community, and that's how connected… it sounds very similar. Dude.
00:43:13.600 --> 00:43:31.729 Tommy DiMisa: you could make a decision in life to hang out with hedge funds, or you could make a decision in life to hang out with people who are changing the freakin' world every day, and that's what I did. I chose the nonprofit sector, and that's the people that I get. You talked about legal aid, you know, wellness… I wanna… Wellness Wonderland, we gotta talk about in a second, but radical hospitality?
00:43:31.730 --> 00:43:35.740 Tommy DiMisa: Totally ripping that off, totally stealing it. I will give you credit where I…
00:43:35.740 --> 00:43:41.729 Lauren Blodgett: deal. Anytime I give remarks, at the beginning, I say, okay, my name is Lauren, da-da.
00:43:41.730 --> 00:43:58.040 Lauren Blodgett: I say, okay, before I jump in, we're gonna take 7 seconds, you're going to turn to as many people around you as you can, and all you're gonna say, nothing else, all you're gonna say is, I'm so happy you're here! Ready to go. And so everyone's just like, I'm so happy you're here!
00:43:58.040 --> 00:44:05.400 Tommy DiMisa: The energy… the energy in wherever you are, the energy just elevates with that, because, like, it's… because…
00:44:05.400 --> 00:44:18.639 Tommy DiMisa: It's genuine, and right, it's authentic, I'm happy, and now I just made a new friend. This is a stranger, and now they're not. You know what I always say? Well, you don't know what I always say. Some people know what I always say. You know what a stranger is? It's a friend I haven't met yet. Like, that's the thing, and that's…
00:44:18.640 --> 00:44:20.309 Lauren Blodgett: They were once strangers, too.
00:44:20.310 --> 00:44:37.639 Tommy DiMisa: We were! You and I were! And now we're buds, man. We're gonna change the world together. You're already doing a great job changing the world. I'm just trying to show… shine a light on it, as I like to say. I wanna hear… we gotta take a break, so we come back from break, I wanna hear about Wellness Wonderland. We gotta… I gotta just fire off some names. We gotta get you to meet Solace House.
00:44:37.640 --> 00:44:50.549 Tommy DiMisa: Okay? Silas House is an organization in Long Island City, Queens, and New Jersey. My friend Patrick McGowan founded the organization. We'll talk about this when you and I talk next week, but,
00:44:51.330 --> 00:45:05.310 Tommy DiMisa: Dr. Nandani Collins is the CEO there, and it is a mental health agency that provides free mental health services, and they are, they work with survivors of, who have lost somebody to suicide.
00:45:05.310 --> 00:45:14.959 Tommy DiMisa: They do this incredible walk from darkness into light. I've done the walk with them several times, like 4 o'clock in the morning, we go out to Long Island City and walk… see the New York City skyline.
00:45:14.960 --> 00:45:27.170 Tommy DiMisa: I gotta get you connected to them, just me to talk wellness, we'll talk mental health. Alright, take a break. Told you one thing, Lauren Blodgett. I said we will run out of show before we run out of words. Told you, it's happening. We are at that moment right now.
00:45:27.640 --> 00:45:37.629 Tommy DiMisa: The show is philanthropy in focus, and I am the one and only nonprofit sector connector. In Spanol, I say, El Nino, the kid. We'll be right back.
00:47:05.820 --> 00:47:13.870 Tommy DiMisa: All right, all right, all right, all right. Okay, check it out, check it out. I sound a little bit like Matthew Baconaughey. By the way, Matthew McConaughey read me the book. He read me his book, Green Lights. I mean…
00:47:13.870 --> 00:47:36.129 Tommy DiMisa: Well, he was reading it to me, I listened to it on Audible, I thought it was just him and I. He may have read it to you all as well. Great book, Green Lights, nothing better than when. So I said, when I said, alright, alright, alright, it sounded a little bit like McConaughey. Here's the thing, I am silly. Here's the thing. This is the lightning round. This is like when we run out of time, and when we gotta make sure we get everything in before we go off.
00:47:36.130 --> 00:47:49.839 Tommy DiMisa: to the next thing we have in our day. Lauren Blodi, what is upcoming? So, services-wise, legal advocacy, mental health services, leadership, community, we talked about that. Tell me what else you need us to know, and tell us what's upcoming and how we can help.
00:47:51.160 --> 00:48:02.920 Lauren Blodgett: Something that I want you to know is that it's all connected, so we do these things, but they all impact each other. We have a 99% success rate in our legal cases.
00:48:02.920 --> 00:48:16.540 Lauren Blodgett: And I believe that it is because we are doing things holistically. So that example that you were mentioning from the TEDx talk, where we're in the waiting room before we go into the big asylum hearing with this
00:48:16.540 --> 00:48:17.780 Lauren Blodgett: 7-year-old.
00:48:17.780 --> 00:48:36.619 Lauren Blodgett: We weren't… we could have… the choice could have been to just sit there and wait in silence, but instead, we were drawing, we were making comics, we were making up little songs about a pig that has wings and can fly, and so it's like, the more fun you're having, the more you're taking care of your mental health.
00:48:36.620 --> 00:48:51.990 Lauren Blodgett: the more you're connecting with other people, all of these are going to impact your legal case. And when you're winning your legal case, that's going to impact your ability to get a job and enroll in school, and that's going to impact your mental health, which is, you know, it's all…
00:48:51.990 --> 00:49:09.840 Tommy DiMisa: It's a big circle. Yeah, it's a big… it's a big circle, and… and you talk about gratitude, and there's so much to be said for, you know, in our… whether it be our mental health or our physical health, for that matter, you know, gratitude and joy, and you mentioned it in your TEDx talk, but gratitude and joy are, like, literally can…
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:20.490 Tommy DiMisa: decrease inflammation in the body. Gang, if your stress is an absolute killer, okay, that's not from a clinical guy. I'm not telling you that because I went to med school, because you know I didn't, in case I didn't.
00:49:20.490 --> 00:49:43.080 Tommy DiMisa: I know it because I'm 47 years old, I'm a human being, and I've been around, and I know how bad stress could be for us, and I know what it does to us. So… so the alternative, or the antithesis, I guess, to that would be, you know, you talk about this wellness wonderland, which I want to get into in a minute here, but we talk about how do we take better care of ourselves? You know that whole thing that's cliche? You put the oxygen mask on first? You know why it's cliche? Because it's real.
00:49:43.080 --> 00:49:44.080 Tommy DiMisa: You know?
00:49:44.460 --> 00:49:59.729 Tommy DiMisa: Self-care is not selfish. It is not selfish. It's actually because you can't… and I'm speaking to me, not you all. This is not a lecture. I'm actually talking to the guy that's speaking at the same time, because we got to take care of ourselves.
00:49:59.730 --> 00:50:04.509 Tommy DiMisa: And when you talk about the community that you're creating there, Lauren, and have created.
00:50:04.560 --> 00:50:21.069 Tommy DiMisa: Of course, someone's outcomes from a legal perspective are better, because their mindset is better, they're comfortable, they're calmer, they can approach this better, right? I mean, I don't know this from you telling me that, but that's from me being around for a little while. Right or wrong?
00:50:21.630 --> 00:50:34.689 Lauren Blodgett: Correct. Correct. And then there's trust there, too, because there's so many organizations in New York City, you don't know who to trust, who actually has your best interests at heart, who gets you, who understands you, so…
00:50:34.690 --> 00:50:42.670 Lauren Blodgett: I don't take that trust lightly. It's something that has to be earned, and that's part of it for us.
00:50:42.960 --> 00:50:57.659 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, and especially these young people are coming through in a ridiculously vulnerable, challenging, traumatic scenario. They need support, they need love, they need that. They need to be propped up, right? It's just…
00:50:57.660 --> 00:51:09.589 Tommy DiMisa: you know, I mean, the one story on your TEDx talk we keep going back to, but, I mean, this girl came here as an unaccompanied minor, and I mean, I can't even imagine, like, I… sometimes, like, you know.
00:51:09.590 --> 00:51:23.410 Tommy DiMisa: I don't… it's not so much anymore, but when I was younger, when my kids were younger, and I had all four of my kids with me, I was like, dude, this is scary, man. And I'm an adult, and I was like, I got, like, all these kids. Like, I couldn't imagine being a child and not, like, someone to.
00:51:23.410 --> 00:51:36.749 Lauren Blodgett: Yeah, I mean, there are some 8-year-olds who might have trouble making their own breakfast, but we have 8-year-olds here that we work with that literally crossed the border and traveled through multiple countries.
00:51:36.750 --> 00:51:48.039 Lauren Blodgett: went through extreme abuse and trauma just to get here, and now they're fighting a legal case on their own, and they're going from shelter to shelter, and they're 8, versus, like, an 8-year-old who…
00:51:48.040 --> 00:51:49.959 Tommy DiMisa: That's… that's wild!
00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:50.740 Lauren Blodgett: So.
00:51:50.740 --> 00:51:54.399 Tommy DiMisa: Yeah, I mean, that's crazy town. Like, that's like… what?
00:51:54.400 --> 00:51:59.990 Lauren Blodgett: They have to grow up really fast, but something… a word that is…
00:52:00.390 --> 00:52:10.619 Lauren Blodgett: spoken a lot in these spaces is vicarious trauma. So, oh, people ask, oh, working with those kids and these young people, isn't it so hard and traumatic and, like.
00:52:11.410 --> 00:52:13.739 Lauren Blodgett: It's like, yes and, yes, of course.
00:52:14.560 --> 00:52:23.950 Lauren Blodgett: going through is extremely traumatic, and it's hard to hear. But the flip side of vicarious trauma is vicarious resilience.
00:52:23.950 --> 00:52:24.380 Tommy DiMisa: Mmm.
00:52:24.810 --> 00:52:38.770 Lauren Blodgett: seeing their resilience, seeing them come through the other side, seeing them grow, like, that's the gift that I have, is I've known some of these young people now for almost a decade, and so I'm seeing them grow and go on to…
00:52:38.770 --> 00:52:45.959 Lauren Blodgett: to college, and accomplishing their dreams, and setting their own dreams for themselves. It's not what I think they should do, it's…
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:52.029 Lauren Blodgett: seeing what they want, and then chanting them through that. So that's the vicarious resilience piece that…
00:52:52.030 --> 00:53:03.389 Tommy DiMisa: I love that. What a way to flip it. You're fun, because you flip words, and you, like, you're very, you know… and I don't mean, like, you send me a birthday card, but you're very thoughtful from my… the brief interaction we have.
00:53:03.390 --> 00:53:06.570 Lauren Blodgett: Send a birthday card to every Brave House member.
00:53:06.570 --> 00:53:21.540 Tommy DiMisa: I do send birthday cards, too. I've, like, that's been a thing, like, a little joke I do when I say somebody's very thoughtful, and I mean, like, not like they send me a birthday card, but, like, where you sit back and contemplate. Like, my brother is like that, you know? Like, we don't hang out all that much, but, like.
00:53:21.540 --> 00:53:42.859 Tommy DiMisa: he'll sit back in a conversation, and when I say thoughtful, I mean he's sitting there thinking, like, not just responding, but, like, thinking. And… and I like how, you know, words have so many meanings, and I… I mean, I have, like, 6 pages of notes during a show, during a live show. I have 6 pages of notes. Vicarious trauma, and… and then I overlaid that with vicarious resilience.
00:53:42.860 --> 00:53:45.829 Tommy DiMisa: You know, like, to me, it's like, I do a lot of work with people.
00:53:46.380 --> 00:54:05.859 Tommy DiMisa: Who have different disabilities, you know, I spend a lot of time with nonprofits who do work with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, and one of which I sit on the board is called Spirit of Huntington Arts Center. We have an artworks program where individuals learn digital design work. In fact, they rebranded our company, and they are our marketing team.
00:54:05.860 --> 00:54:09.480 Tommy DiMisa: So our marketing team is made up of neurodiverse individuals, which, you know.
00:54:09.480 --> 00:54:25.289 Tommy DiMisa: as somebody who has ADHD, you know, and learned about my own creativity and my own challenges, later in life, I completely love to be able to say that. The folks that do our work, social media and otherwise, are neurodiverse individuals.
00:54:25.470 --> 00:54:42.089 Tommy DiMisa: I bring that up just to say, like, you know, words have meanings, and your piece about resilience there just stands out to me, because you can be, we all can be inspired by witnessing what… like, I don't have a lot of patience when people say, I can't do that. Really?
00:54:42.320 --> 00:55:00.400 Tommy DiMisa: you can't do what? Like, what are you talking about? Look at what these young people are doing, like, in these crazy challenges. Now, maybe I'm a little tough on people, but I'm also trying to raise four kids, so maybe I'm a little toughie, but yo, let's go. Where's grit? Where's Carol Duckworth with grit? Like, where are we talking about? Like, let's go, man, like, you know, and the other…
00:55:00.400 --> 00:55:15.169 Lauren Blodgett: Like, you have challenges, like, I talk a lot about joy, but it's not that I've only seen joy. Like, I have a lot of struggle in my life, I have two chronic illnesses that I live with, and it's like, yes and. It's that's there, and I love that.
00:55:15.770 --> 00:55:30.349 Tommy DiMisa: You know, that yes and I love, and that comes a little bit from improv. I don't know if you've done improv, but have you? Or just… Okay, because it's, like, that guy we knew, and that, like, in improv, and I'm going to start… folks, I want to start doing improv. There's actually a place in Forest Hills I want to start going.
00:55:30.350 --> 00:55:31.220 Lauren Blodgett: Good!
00:55:31.220 --> 00:55:55.999 Tommy DiMisa: I'm going to. I'm gonna do it. We're gonna do it. We're running out of time. My whole life is improv, to be honest with you, Lauren. But that yes and thing is like that opener, and it's like, cool, yeah, yeah, I got that problem. Like, yeah, cool, I got the ADHD, and I do awesome stuff in the world, right? Like, that's cool. And I see my therapist, and, end, and, and all that kind of stuff, you know? Lauren, let's leave them with this. Tell me about… we're out of time, but tell me about the Wellness Wonderland, and then tell me, like, tell me goodbye.
00:55:56.480 --> 00:56:11.369 Lauren Blodgett: Okay, so Wellness Wonderland is an event we do multiple times a year, where I want you to picture, like, a farmer's market, how that's set up, but it's all wellness offerings, so it's… and it's all free for our members, so it's free massages.
00:56:11.370 --> 00:56:34.100 Lauren Blodgett: Acupuncture, nail painting, essential oils, astrology, tea, tarot, and members come in, and they get to go around from station to station, try things out. We have a whole art corner where we do vision boards and collages, and it's just an opportunity to explore different wellness practices that are separate from traditional therapy.
00:56:34.100 --> 00:56:44.399 Lauren Blodgett: And, and also, like, be brave and try something… try acupuncture for the first time. Try new things. So that… we did that last week, and it was a lot of fun.
00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:56.699 Tommy DiMisa: I love that, I love that. I want to keep in touch. Obviously, we're going to keep in touch, but I want to keep up to date with what's going on so we can tell stories. I got a lot of ideas going into 26, how I could do little vignettes of my friends and what they're up to. Yes, what were you gonna say?
00:56:56.700 --> 00:57:13.969 Lauren Blodgett: Because please sign up for our newsletter. It's on the bottom of our website. We don't receive any government funding, we're all crowdsourced, we're grassroots, so the more folks who can join us and champion our mission, the better. So please do that, and stay in touch, and we'll be friends.
00:57:14.360 --> 00:57:25.129 Tommy DiMisa: And what's right on the website? The website is thebraveHouse.com, you'll see down at the bottom, put in your email address, the whole thing, Tommy D, and then we go there. All right, let's…
00:57:25.130 --> 00:57:37.219 Tommy DiMisa: That is the end of the program. Look, Lauren, I'm so jazzed I met you. Congratulations on all the success. Shout out to you and your team. I'm fired up that we're friends now. I'm gonna see… oh, but by the way, these are two rocks that were on my desk I just saw.
00:57:37.220 --> 00:57:39.260 Tommy DiMisa: I had them imagine, like, the, you know, like…
00:57:39.260 --> 00:57:39.910 Lauren Blodgett: Yay!
00:57:39.910 --> 00:57:56.660 Tommy DiMisa: John Lennon, I just happened… I don't know why… I don't know why I felt like bringing those up right now, but there it is. Imagine, gang, imagine a world where everybody's looking out for each other. This is… oh, I love your flag, I see it, I see it. Listen, gang, this has been another In Focus production. Make it a great day, I love you all. Bye now.
00:57:56.850 --> 00:57:57.810 Lauren Blodgett: Thank you!
00:57:57.810 --> 00:57:58.410 Tommy DiMisa: Aye.
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