When everything feels like it's falling apart—restructures, burnout, losses you can't quite name—most advice tells you to push harder or rest more. But what if the answer lies in between? In this episode, you'll learn about micro-adjustments: small, evidence-based shifts that help you lead through chaos without losing yourself. We're getting into ambiguous grief, organizational betrayal, and what kind of resilience mechanisms can help versus harm.
WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:
Most leaders right now are in survival mode and don't even realize it. What does it look like when you're no longer thriving but rather just enduring? What's the difference between resilience that sustains you and resilience that just helps you tolerate more damage? In this episode, we'll unpack what positive psychology offers leaders dealing with organizational upheaval, chronic stress, and betrayal. We'll discuss how to evaluate where you are on the surviving-to-thriving continuum, why micro-adjustments aren't about minimizing broken systems, and what actually sustains people versus what just delays their breaking point.
This conversation is for anyone who's been running on empty and wondering if there's another way. If you're barely holding it together and don't have time to fix it, start here. You'll walk away with one thing you can do tomorrow that won't add to your load.
***
ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Julie Fischer is a transformation coach, well-being consultant, and host of Nine to Thrive: The Well-Being Podcast. With 25+ years of corporate and nonprofit experience in sales, marketing, and fundraising, Julie's career took a dramatic turn when a family crisis forced her to rebuild her life from the ground up. That transformation ignited her coaching practice, where she now helps individuals, teams, and organizations move from survival to sustainable thriving through evidence-based tools rooted in applied positive psychology. She specializes in uncovering the unconscious narratives and limiting beliefs that keep high-performers stuck, then creating clarity and actionable strategies for lasting change.
Certified as an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and in Applied Positive Psychology through The Flourishing Center, Julie works with leaders navigating burnout, career transitions, work-life integration, and building resilience under pressure. She delivers corporate workshops, one-on-one coaching, group facilitation, and speaking engagements focused on well-being science, mindset shifts, leadership presence, and creating meaningful connection in work and life. Through her coaching and her podcast, Julie is on a mission to address what she calls the "un-well-being crisis"—helping people harness agency, shift from merely surviving to truly thriving, and meet their most audacious goals without losing themselves in the process.
***
FIND OUR GUEST HERE:
www.juliefischercoaching.com
www.linkedin.com/in/julie-fischer-pcc/
FREE Wheel of Life Inventory: www.juliefischercoaching.com/wheel-of-life
***
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE, CAN I ASK A FAVOR?
We do not receive any funding or sponsorship for this podcast. If you learned something and feel others could also benefit, please leave a positive review. Every review helps amplify our work and visibility. This is especially helpful for small women-owned boot-strapped businesses. Simply go to the bottom of the Apple Podcast page to enter a review. Thank you!
Subscribe to my free newsletter at: mailchi.mp/2079c04f4d44/subscribe
Work with me one-on-one: calendly.com/mira-brancu/30-minute-initial-consultation
Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/MiraBrancu
Learn more about my services: www.gotowerscope.com
Get practical workplace politics tips from my books: gotowerscope.com/books
Add this podcast to your feed: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/the-hard-skills-dr-mira-brancu-m0QzwsFiBGE/
www.juliefischercoaching.com
www.linkedin.com/in/julie-fischer-pcc/
www.juliefischercoaching.com/wheel-of-life
Tune in for this innovative conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Livestream by Clicking Here.
In the opening segment, Dr. Mira Brancu introduces transformation coach Julie Fischer, who helps leaders shift from survival to sustainable thriving through evidence-based well-being practices. Julie shares how her personal journey—sparked by her daughter’s recovery and her own healing from family patterns—led her to a new purpose in coaching. She and Mira discuss what Julie calls the “unwell-being crisis,” a widespread decline in mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, emphasizing the urgent need to support younger generations struggling with constant technological and emotional overstimulation.
In the second segment, Dr. Mira Brancu and guest Julie Fischer discuss the foundations of positive psychology, a field that focuses on human flourishing and strengths rather than pathology or what’s “wrong” with people. Julie explains that positive psychology, founded by Martin Seligman in the 1990s, emphasizes cultivating mindset, engagement, hope, and purpose to help individuals move “north of neutral.” The conversation then turns to micro-adjustments, or small, intentional changes that help people progress toward goals without feeling overwhelmed
In this segment, Dr. Mira Brancu and Julie Fischer discuss how mid-level leaders in high-pressure, rapidly changing organizations can use “micro-adjustments” to manage stress and regain control. Fischer emphasizes the importance of self-regulation through awareness practices, such as using the Mind Jogger app to pause and check in with one’s body and emotions. They also explore setting boundaries, taking responsibility for one’s choices, and learning to say “no” or “yes” to oneself as essential skills for maintaining well-being and agency at work.
In this closing segment, Dr. Mira Brancu and Julie Fischer discuss how resilience develops through challenges and micro-adjustments—small, intentional actions that build strength over time. They emphasize that resilience isn’t about “muscling through” hardship but about learning to sustain and nurture oneself while facing difficulties. The conversation concludes with encouragement for listeners to make one small daily change, say “yes” to themselves, and continue strengthening their “hard skills” muscles.
00:00:52.640 --> 00:01:05.099 Mira Brancu: Sometimes, when we face massive challenges, we can easily fall into feeling overwhelmed. Like, there's so much to do or take on that we can't imagine.
00:01:05.269 --> 00:01:08.740 Mira Brancu: Having the capacity or endurance for it.
00:01:09.820 --> 00:01:14.780 Mira Brancu: Sitting with that can make us question, how do I keep leading or showing up?
00:01:14.950 --> 00:01:17.280 Mira Brancu: When the uncertainty just doesn't end.
00:01:18.310 --> 00:01:26.960 Mira Brancu: Well, my guest today is someone who has spent decades helping leaders move from white-knuckling survival to something more sustainable.
00:01:27.090 --> 00:01:32.109 Mira Brancu: And she's gonna teach us about the power of micro-adjustments.
00:01:32.480 --> 00:01:36.930 Mira Brancu: That can make a difference in how we approach these experiences.
00:01:37.320 --> 00:01:49.579 Mira Brancu: We're in Season 9. Season 9 is focused on strengthening workplace culture. You might not make this connection, but part of strengthening culture is strengthening our resiliency mindset.
00:01:49.940 --> 00:01:54.749 Mira Brancu: And I think we're going to get into that as well. So, let me introduce our guest.
00:01:54.820 --> 00:02:13.920 Mira Brancu: Julie Fisher is a transformation coach, well-being consultant, and host of 9 to Thrive, the well-being Podcast, which I had the fortune of being on as well, with 25… over 25 years of corporate and nonprofit experience in sales, marketing, and fundraising.
00:02:13.920 --> 00:02:19.929 Mira Brancu: Who now helps individuals, teams, and organizations move from survival to sustainable thriving.
00:02:20.030 --> 00:02:24.980 Mira Brancu: Through evidence-based tools rooted in applied positive psychology.
00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:35.450 Mira Brancu: And she is a certified, professional certified coach, as well as in applied positive psychology through the Flourishing Center. So, welcome to the show, Julie.
00:02:35.980 --> 00:02:41.109 Julie Fischer: Thank you, Mira, I'm so excited to be here, and I like any show that starts with music.
00:02:41.110 --> 00:02:43.880 Mira Brancu: Especially good music, right?
00:02:43.880 --> 00:02:47.480 Julie Fischer: Especially good music that you can actually move your body to. Yeah.
00:02:47.480 --> 00:03:00.910 Mira Brancu: That's right. That's right, that's right. Now, Julie, you went from, over 25 years in sales and marketing and fundraising, right? And, you went from that to focusing on well-being.
00:03:00.910 --> 00:03:14.110 Mira Brancu: And, it happened after a family crisis, and I'm wondering if you're willing to share just a little bit about what happened to, that from, you know, that experience that led you to rethink
00:03:14.230 --> 00:03:15.810 Mira Brancu: And redo your work.
00:03:17.290 --> 00:03:23.460 Julie Fischer: I say it was one of those experiences that… perhaps…
00:03:23.660 --> 00:03:32.270 Julie Fischer: I… maybe wish didn't happen, and… It has transformed my life.
00:03:32.610 --> 00:03:36.359 Julie Fischer: for the better in every way.
00:03:36.910 --> 00:03:44.360 Julie Fischer: I was toodling along in life, and my daughter was 21, and she was a junior in college.
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:49.349 Julie Fischer: And she went into recovery for drug and alcohol addiction.
00:03:50.220 --> 00:03:54.350 Julie Fischer: And all of a sudden, I was…
00:03:54.780 --> 00:03:59.190 Julie Fischer: I think invited in, in a very real way.
00:03:59.600 --> 00:04:18.330 Julie Fischer: to look at my own family of origin. I was the daughter of an alcoholic, and I had, for the first time, knew what the word codependency meant, and I realized all of these patterns that I had from my childhood, that I had brought into my own family of origin.
00:04:18.510 --> 00:04:26.030 Julie Fischer: And… it felt… when I think back on it, it felt like…
00:04:26.690 --> 00:04:31.440 Julie Fischer: My daughter was gonna be doing some really, really hard work.
00:04:32.360 --> 00:04:38.180 Julie Fischer: And it felt like the invitation for me to walk with her.
00:04:38.350 --> 00:04:53.659 Julie Fischer: was one that I just couldn't say no to. And so it sent me on a journey, family therapy, and individual therapy, and AA, and Al-Anon, and… and in that, I met a coach.
00:04:53.930 --> 00:04:55.280 Mira Brancu: And…
00:04:55.750 --> 00:05:15.700 Julie Fischer: I was doing some work with him, it was a little different work than I was doing in therapy, and one day, he said to me, I'm doing this training, actually coaches training, would you ever want to, you know, come to this? And I was like, oh, sure, I'll come, just for personal growth, not because I wanted to actually do this work.
00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:21.129 Julie Fischer: And it was a group training, and after the training, he said to me.
00:05:21.540 --> 00:05:24.779 Julie Fischer: This feels very intuitive for you.
00:05:25.620 --> 00:05:26.330 Mira Brancu: Hmm.
00:05:26.900 --> 00:05:31.030 Julie Fischer: It feels like you intuitively
00:05:31.890 --> 00:05:49.199 Julie Fischer: connect with people, and have you and would you ever consider this? And so, it piqued my interest, and what I would say, Mira, is the through-line of all of my work has always been around connecting with people.
00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:56.880 Julie Fischer: And so, this was yet just a deeper, more meaningful way for me to perhaps do that.
00:05:57.440 --> 00:06:04.650 Julie Fischer: In a time that… felt… Perfect.
00:06:05.420 --> 00:06:17.069 Mira Brancu: Yeah, that makes perfect sense, you know, when you think about sales, marketing, fundraising, that is absolutely connecting with people. And then, what an unbelievable and incredible
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:31.420 Mira Brancu: Journey, and from the impact of, like, your own experience with your daughter, and then meeting surreptitiously, almost, you know, the coach who noticed something that you didn't notice in yourself.
00:06:31.610 --> 00:06:35.170 Mira Brancu: To lead you to this. Incredible. So now…
00:06:35.640 --> 00:06:40.220 Mira Brancu: You indicate you're on a mission, to address
00:06:40.580 --> 00:06:44.559 Mira Brancu: what you call the unwell-being crisis, which I just…
00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:45.500 Julie Fischer: Hmm…
00:06:45.500 --> 00:06:48.779 Mira Brancu: Love, I automatically resonate with that term, and
00:06:48.930 --> 00:06:52.919 Mira Brancu: You know, just thinking about, like, your own journey, that makes perfect sense.
00:06:53.270 --> 00:06:58.229 Mira Brancu: Tell me more about what is the unwell-being crisis that we're facing right now.
00:06:58.550 --> 00:06:59.180 Julie Fischer: Hmm.
00:06:59.320 --> 00:07:00.340 Julie Fischer: Okay.
00:07:00.500 --> 00:07:16.489 Julie Fischer: I want to think about this in, in four, maybe five different areas. First of all, I want to say that when I'm talking about well-being, I'm talking about mental well-being, emotional well-being, spiritual well-being, and physical well-being.
00:07:16.880 --> 00:07:25.549 Julie Fischer: And the… Overlay of that is… There's a basic assumption that
00:07:25.900 --> 00:07:33.999 Julie Fischer: within that, in order to remotely achieve any well-being, we have to have met Maslow's basic hierarchy of needs.
00:07:34.760 --> 00:07:37.450 Julie Fischer: And so, there's a financial piece to this.
00:07:37.640 --> 00:07:38.510 Julie Fischer: Right.
00:07:38.970 --> 00:07:43.319 Julie Fischer: So, first of all, we have a lot of people struggling.
00:07:44.480 --> 00:08:04.230 Julie Fischer: And we could touch in different areas on, you know, what's happening in terms of, you know, medical benefits, mental health care… care benefits. So we have a whole… we have, first of all, we have a whole group that is not meeting the basic needs, right? So that contributes to an unwell-being crisis.
00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:12.649 Julie Fischer: If you think about mental health, the last Pew Research study, where they asked
00:08:13.500 --> 00:08:25.459 Julie Fischer: Americans about mental health, what… where they thought we were. 92% said they believed that we were in a mental health crisis. Mira, our country doesn't agree on anything.
00:08:25.460 --> 00:08:28.119 Mira Brancu: No, I know, that's incredible.
00:08:28.500 --> 00:08:47.369 Julie Fischer: Right? That number is incredible. It really, really is incredible. And so… and I don't think, probably anybody who's listening today doesn't see those signs of all the ways we're seeing declining mental health in our country. So that's one piece.
00:08:47.850 --> 00:08:53.330 Julie Fischer: The second piece is emotional health and emotional dysregulation.
00:08:53.470 --> 00:08:58.840 Julie Fischer: And again, I think we see emotional dysregulation on the news every night.
00:08:59.010 --> 00:09:02.169 Mira Brancu: Yeah. And we see it mirror it in.
00:09:02.350 --> 00:09:18.589 Julie Fischer: the crisis of school shootings and mass shootings, all of that is emotional dysregulation. I actually am going to give you a personal example. I live in a townhouse complex, and our board put forth, in a very short timeline.
00:09:19.180 --> 00:09:27.520 Julie Fischer: a very large assessment, and we've had two meetings now. And again, the discourse of…
00:09:27.630 --> 00:09:49.820 Julie Fischer: lack of emotional regulation in the way people respond, the way we see people respond on social media. So, we're… we're in… we're at this point where I think our amygdala, that threat response, is activated all the time. Yeah. You know, we're not meant to scroll a phone all day, or look at a computer all day. So.
00:09:50.020 --> 00:09:53.389 Julie Fischer: We're in a crisis for emotional regulation.
00:09:54.170 --> 00:10:05.840 Julie Fischer: Physical health, I'm just gonna touch on really briefly, we're in the top 5 in terms of economics, in terms of… in the world, and we're 55th for health outcomes.
00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:08.050 Mira Brancu: Yep, yep.
00:10:08.050 --> 00:10:13.599 Julie Fischer: And then there's the spiritual component, which… spiritual is different than…
00:10:13.670 --> 00:10:28.160 Julie Fischer: religious. However, religion does fit into that spiritual component, and as we all know and read about, church attendance is down, or get people are not joining organized religions, especially younger people.
00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:35.709 Julie Fischer: And… Spirituality is around meaning and purpose.
00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:42.239 Julie Fischer: And I think a lot of people are struggling with that. Like, we want to matter.
00:10:42.350 --> 00:10:55.620 Julie Fischer: And I think there's a huge question out there in this sort of divisive nature that we're living in, is, you know, how do I matter, and how do I make meaning out of my life? So…
00:10:55.830 --> 00:10:59.680 Julie Fischer: I'm saying… I think we're at a D.
00:11:01.700 --> 00:11:11.050 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I would add to the spirituality also, you know, this, you know.
00:11:11.220 --> 00:11:21.730 Mira Brancu: moral injury that we're… we're sort of talking about, the… the sort of feeling of… it's not…
00:11:22.040 --> 00:11:29.910 Mira Brancu: Moral injury is not necessarily always related to trauma, a trauma response or anything like that, but.
00:11:29.910 --> 00:11:31.130 Julie Fischer: Rather, like.
00:11:31.220 --> 00:11:32.660 Mira Brancu: M. I…
00:11:32.790 --> 00:11:51.290 Mira Brancu: doing the right things for the right reason, or, is this, like, where I am right now, and what I'm asked to be doing morally corrupt, and it feels so wrong, and it feels so disconnected, and it's so misaligned, that I've lost myself in it, you know? And that can feel…
00:11:51.620 --> 00:11:54.220 Mira Brancu: Like, that kind of loss of…
00:11:54.330 --> 00:11:58.150 Mira Brancu: Connection to meaning and purpose as well.
00:11:58.430 --> 00:12:17.720 Julie Fischer: Yes, and I think you're also speaking to that connection to something greater, even if it's organizationally, right? Am I aligned with what we're doing? You know, when we go in and talk to organizations about purpose, right? What's your why? Why are you here? And…
00:12:17.720 --> 00:12:22.690 Julie Fischer: And when you get out of alignment with that, Right? You are…
00:12:22.910 --> 00:12:26.880 Julie Fischer: you are wondering, how do I fit in here?
00:12:27.330 --> 00:12:28.060 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:12:28.060 --> 00:12:29.749 Julie Fischer: In terms of the puzzle.
00:12:30.200 --> 00:12:32.140 Mira Brancu: Yeah. I love…
00:12:32.250 --> 00:12:38.669 Mira Brancu: how you… I mean, a lot of people talk about the wheel of life, which is what you basically described, but the
00:12:39.300 --> 00:12:46.470 Mira Brancu: I have rarely heard anybody go into the…
00:12:46.610 --> 00:12:58.670 Mira Brancu: trends that we see nationally and globally, and how that's impacting your own individual wheel of life, right? Like, we're all in this together, we're all experiencing, you know, some…
00:12:58.980 --> 00:13:11.269 Mira Brancu: trends, and so even when you're thinking about your own, kind of, experiences with the physical, the emotional, the psychological, spiritual.
00:13:11.690 --> 00:13:25.899 Mira Brancu: It's in context. It's in the context of what's happening around us in our world, and the impact that it has on us. It's not just, like, us having to somehow,
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.609 Mira Brancu: Recalibrate something in a vacuum.
00:13:29.730 --> 00:13:30.260 Mira Brancu: Right.
00:13:30.260 --> 00:13:35.690 Julie Fischer: Right, right, right. We're living… right, we're not living in isolation.
00:13:36.100 --> 00:13:54.399 Julie Fischer: And so, it's so interesting when I'm talking to clients, so often, we're talking about, you know, sort of this global context, right? That we're sort of sharing, although each of us are experiencing it differently depending on all of our life experiences.
00:13:54.770 --> 00:13:58.099 Julie Fischer: And then, we have our own individual things.
00:13:58.260 --> 00:14:15.970 Julie Fischer: Right. Our workplaces, our families, our relationships, our sick relative, our… all those things. And so, it… it feels like, and what I just named were sort of systemic things, that doesn't remotely take into account
00:14:16.760 --> 00:14:22.130 Julie Fischer: What is happening for all of us, personally and professionally.
00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:25.320 Mira Brancu: That's right, that's right. I, I'm curious…
00:14:25.640 --> 00:14:29.129 Mira Brancu: As you're thinking about those pillars you just described.
00:14:29.980 --> 00:14:35.099 Mira Brancu: One might think, oh my gosh, 92%
00:14:35.260 --> 00:14:46.659 Mira Brancu: Of people agree that we're in a mental health crisis, or some might attend to, oh my gosh, we're, like, 55th in the world when it comes to healthcare.
00:14:46.820 --> 00:14:50.370 Mira Brancu: Are there any of these that you think
00:14:51.310 --> 00:15:00.920 Mira Brancu: are the greatest crisis that we need to attend to more than another one? Or, like, how do you think about prioritizing?
00:15:01.390 --> 00:15:07.259 Julie Fischer: Such a great question, Mira. I think for our young people.
00:15:07.750 --> 00:15:14.969 Julie Fischer: If you, if you've read Jonathan Hates' The Anxious Generation, like, I think for young people.
00:15:15.550 --> 00:15:20.390 Julie Fischer: I think the mental health crisis… I think… I'm gonna put mental and emotional health together.
00:15:20.390 --> 00:15:21.200 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah.
00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.399 Julie Fischer: Right? Because they're… they are so intertwined.
00:15:24.580 --> 00:15:27.610 Julie Fischer: I think for our children's sake.
00:15:28.820 --> 00:15:32.309 Julie Fischer: I think we really, really need to be addressing.
00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:35.869 Julie Fischer: Their mental and emotional health.
00:15:35.980 --> 00:15:40.200 Julie Fischer: And really thinking about, you know.
00:15:41.180 --> 00:15:45.789 Julie Fischer: They have grown up in a technological world.
00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:54.109 Julie Fischer: that… is… In some ways, meant to make them anxious.
00:15:56.340 --> 00:16:01.219 Julie Fischer: I mean, that's what an algorithm, you know, an algorithm, all of those things.
00:16:01.740 --> 00:16:09.380 Julie Fischer: given the context that we weren't meant to look at a screen, we weren't meant to be activated all day long. You know, our brain needs rest.
00:16:09.750 --> 00:16:20.450 Julie Fischer: And in this 24-7, you know, they've grown up only with text communication, okay? You and I grew up, and there was a phone in the kitchen.
00:16:20.460 --> 00:16:31.579 Julie Fischer: And people called the home phone, and if you weren't home, I grew up, you're younger than I am, I grew up, we… you know, there was no answering machine. If you weren't home, nobody wondered.
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:50.309 Julie Fischer: oh, is she out with somebody else? Is she… did they go to the movies without me? They were thinking, oh, your family must be gone, you're out for the afternoon, or… and so, when you think about just nervous system regulation and the things that stress us out and make us anxious and activate us.
00:16:50.310 --> 00:16:56.199 Julie Fischer: Our brains just weren't, and our nervous systems, our bodies, I don't think were meant.
00:16:56.580 --> 00:16:58.860 Julie Fischer: You know, rest and digest.
00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:00.450 Julie Fischer: is real.
00:17:00.700 --> 00:17:01.850 Julie Fischer: and…
00:17:02.040 --> 00:17:11.419 Julie Fischer: I'm guessing, now I'm… now I'm curious, I'm gonna look this up, I'm guessing we, as a generation, we're doing much less resting and digesting.
00:17:12.010 --> 00:17:14.239 Julie Fischer: Than the generation before us.
00:17:14.530 --> 00:17:19.390 Mira Brancu: Yeah, that's a very good hypothesis. Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:20.220 --> 00:17:26.270 Mira Brancu: I want to get into micro-adjustments, but we are nearing a brief ad break.
00:17:26.270 --> 00:17:46.839 Mira Brancu: So, you are listening to The Hard Skills with me, Dr. Mira Brancou, and our guest today, Julie Fisher. The Hard Skills is sponsored by Towerscope, my leadership and team development consulting firm. You can learn more about it at gotowerscope.com. The Hard Skills Show livestreams on Tuesdays at 5 p.m. Eastern Time on LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch.
00:17:46.840 --> 00:18:02.520 Mira Brancu: through talkradio.nyc, so if you're here right now, on a Tuesday, 5pm, and you have questions, or you want to interact with us, you can leave us a message in any of those areas, and we will respond to you real time. Otherwise, we will be right back with our guests in just a moment.
00:19:43.930 --> 00:20:01.280 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the Hard Skills with me, Dr. Mira Brancou, and our guest today, Julie Fisher. And, Julie, before we get to micro-adjustments and what they are, I'd love for you to explain to those who might not be familiar with positive psychology what that is, because
00:20:01.530 --> 00:20:15.209 Mira Brancu: Positive psychology is behind a lot of your work, and I think it's such a important, but maybe lesser-known area. So, what is positive psychology?
00:20:18.130 --> 00:20:19.860 Mira Brancu: And, you're on mute.
00:20:24.570 --> 00:20:29.189 Julie Fischer: There I am. I'm back again. Thank you. Okay, so…
00:20:29.430 --> 00:20:36.550 Julie Fischer: Positive psychology, in the broadest sense, is really the study of human flourishing.
00:20:36.650 --> 00:20:47.469 Julie Fischer: So, what does it mean to flourish in this complex world we're living in? Why I think a lot of people haven't heard about this is it's a relatively new science. It was discovered
00:20:47.890 --> 00:21:00.060 Julie Fischer: uncovered, named, in the 1990s by Dr. Martin Seligman, who is… was at UPenn, and at the time was the president of the American Psychological Association.
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:10.029 Julie Fischer: And he's a psychologist and a professor, and he was doing a lot of research, and…
00:21:10.360 --> 00:21:13.870 Julie Fischer: Here was the question he was, I think, asking.
00:21:16.360 --> 00:21:19.720 Julie Fischer: We're wired to focus on what's wrong with us.
00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:25.290 Julie Fischer: Traditional psychology, has…
00:21:25.700 --> 00:21:37.179 Julie Fischer: pretty much focused on pathology, and what I mean by that is you don't hear a lot of people saying, I am feeling so great, I'm gonna go to a therapist.
00:21:38.490 --> 00:21:55.810 Julie Fischer: you hear people saying, yeah, I'm struggling in this area, or I'm feeling anxious, or I'm feeling stressed. So, when I say pathology, that sounds like a big word, but that's what I mean. It means people go because they're trying to, I would say, quote-unquote, fix something that's wrong, right, or examine something. And…
00:21:55.890 --> 00:22:02.640 Julie Fischer: He wanted to ask the different question. What would happen if we started looking at what was right with us?
00:22:02.890 --> 00:22:05.490 Julie Fischer: Which really means hacking.
00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:24.089 Julie Fischer: what we're wired to do, which is we have this overactive threat response, which has kept us alive, thank God, for all these years, and it gives us this negativity bias, which is always looking for threats out there. And so, it's not the most natural thing for us to do. So.
00:22:24.090 --> 00:22:36.049 Julie Fischer: Positive psychology was basically saying, we're going to start looking at what's right with us, and it begins with looking at things like our strengths.
00:22:37.110 --> 00:22:42.220 Julie Fischer: It begins by… Looking at mindset.
00:22:42.700 --> 00:22:52.359 Julie Fischer: You know, so engagement, flow, what are the things that actually make us engage more with life?
00:22:52.380 --> 00:23:09.739 Julie Fischer: You know, what are the things that help us achieve our goals? What are the things that keep us hopeful, right? Hope theory and change theory. So, it really was, I think, taking psychology to the next level.
00:23:10.090 --> 00:23:15.180 Mira Brancu: Yeah, and I, I think… for,
00:23:15.790 --> 00:23:35.460 Mira Brancu: listeners who are maybe even more, kind of aware of different psychological fields, right? Clinical psychology is about the, interventions for mental health conditions. It's about diagnosing mental health conditions and what interventions work.
00:23:35.870 --> 00:23:53.989 Mira Brancu: positive psychology is much more what you think about when you think about, counseling, vocational counseling, coaching… the entire coaching field is based in counseling and positive psychology, right? Exactly. It is all about if you are not,
00:23:54.150 --> 00:24:05.900 Mira Brancu: you know, struggling with mental health conditions, but instead, you are challenged by just navigating the day-to-day world, right? And you're going from
00:24:06.300 --> 00:24:13.169 Mira Brancu: you know, kind of, complexity to wanting to navigate with flourishing, as Julie said.
00:24:13.180 --> 00:24:29.379 Mira Brancu: these are the areas, and what's fascinating to me is that Martin Seligman, for those of you who are familiar, started out as a researcher in learned helplessness, what we can't do when we're stuck, right? And for him to just get to this place in his career to say, you know what?
00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:34.290 Mira Brancu: I'm finished working on that, I'm really interested, but what if…
00:24:34.420 --> 00:24:41.599 Mira Brancu: You could do something. What if you had the capability? What would that be? And that's the flourishing part, right?
00:24:41.600 --> 00:24:59.979 Julie Fischer: Yes, and I think what's interesting is, I forgot that he studied learned helplessness, and what's interesting about that is a lot of what applied positive psychology is, right, because there's a science, and applied positive psychology is about the tools, the strategies, the interventions.
00:25:00.150 --> 00:25:07.480 Julie Fischer: And what most of those are, are Individuals using their agency.
00:25:08.180 --> 00:25:21.739 Julie Fischer: So, that's part, also, of what… it's this forward movement, right? Which, again, lends itself to coaching, right? It's like, you're here, and you want to get here, and what are the things we need to do to get there?
00:25:21.890 --> 00:25:33.950 Julie Fischer: And I think that's part of it. It's, and the other thing that's interesting about it, another… Chris Peterson, who was also one of the founders of positive psychology, he termed it north of Neutral.
00:25:34.300 --> 00:25:41.800 Julie Fischer: Right? So that idea of, we're just here, right? Everything's, you know, like when you say to someone, how are you? Fine.
00:25:43.480 --> 00:25:46.410 Julie Fischer: you know, fine. Like, I would say fine is neutral.
00:25:46.980 --> 00:25:47.339 Mira Brancu: I don't.
00:25:47.340 --> 00:26:05.240 Julie Fischer: we get north of neutral, right? Like, what's that next level where I'm… I'm happier, I am engaged, I have flow experiences, I have goals, I… so I think it's that meaning and purpose. I… I…
00:26:05.540 --> 00:26:09.149 Julie Fischer: I know what impact I want to make in the world. Yes.
00:26:09.150 --> 00:26:19.279 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. So now, let's talk about one of the many tools, that you have in your toolbox when it comes to positive psychology. Micro-adjustments. What are they?
00:26:22.050 --> 00:26:24.820 Julie Fischer: In the simplest terms, they're small changes.
00:26:25.820 --> 00:26:30.029 Julie Fischer: And I think, as a coach.
00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:40.429 Julie Fischer: Right? In the simplest of terms, people come to coaching because they're here, if you're watching, I'm one place, and they want to get here, right? They want to get to another place.
00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:47.999 Julie Fischer: And… I think most people come to a coach because they want to do that, right?
00:26:48.350 --> 00:26:51.140 Julie Fischer: And yet, they haven't been able to do it on their own.
00:26:51.900 --> 00:26:53.339 Julie Fischer: And so…
00:26:54.280 --> 00:27:02.650 Julie Fischer: And part of the reason, I think, is sometimes the distance from where they are to where they want to be is large.
00:27:03.410 --> 00:27:07.720 Julie Fischer: And so, the feeling that I need to make huge changes.
00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:12.359 Julie Fischer: Right? So, if…
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:20.660 Julie Fischer: someone is saying, like, I don't care for my health outcomes, right? I'm gonna use this just as an example. And…
00:27:21.490 --> 00:27:27.699 Julie Fischer: But the distance between where they are and where they want to be is so large.
00:27:28.940 --> 00:27:34.370 Julie Fischer: I would say the way to get there would be a number of micro-adjustments.
00:27:35.410 --> 00:27:37.940 Julie Fischer: Some are probably going to be around mindset.
00:27:39.300 --> 00:27:48.200 Julie Fischer: Some are going to be around building muscles, right, strengths that they don't have… that they haven't had thus far, or they haven't worked
00:27:48.450 --> 00:27:50.020 Julie Fischer: thus far.
00:27:50.190 --> 00:27:57.349 Julie Fischer: And then incorporating those, you know, I say micro adjustments can start with 1 minute.
00:28:01.050 --> 00:28:08.179 Julie Fischer: You know, the first micro-adjustment in the most stressful situation would be 3 deep breaths.
00:28:12.650 --> 00:28:15.299 Julie Fischer: Can I simply calm my nervous system?
00:28:17.180 --> 00:28:23.779 Julie Fischer: One of the things I focus on in these micro-adjustments is… are you familiar with Barbara Fredrickson's work?
00:28:24.360 --> 00:28:25.570 Mira Brancu: No.
00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:31.370 Julie Fischer: Okay, she's… she's another… she's a pioneer in positive psychology, and she's at a UNC.
00:28:32.030 --> 00:28:40.720 Julie Fischer: And… She discovered, in her research, something that she named the Broaden and Build Theory.
00:28:40.970 --> 00:28:51.999 Julie Fischer: And what that theory is, and I think this is a big piece of, sort of, the tools and these micro-adjustments, what her research found was…
00:28:52.750 --> 00:28:58.249 Julie Fischer: we… Need to be able to…
00:28:58.620 --> 00:29:03.009 Julie Fischer: Get out of a downward spiral of emotion.
00:29:04.610 --> 00:29:12.929 Julie Fischer: to an upward spiral of emotion, because when we're in a downward spiral of emotion, usually something's at threat.
00:29:12.930 --> 00:29:26.760 Julie Fischer: Right? So our amygdala is activated, and that is going to prevent us from problem solving, because we're not supposed to be solving problems when we're trying to… when we're supposed to be running from the saber-toothed tiger.
00:29:27.200 --> 00:29:37.140 Julie Fischer: And so… Our goal is to… how do we get to a point where we actually can get to
00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:45.699 Julie Fischer: creative problem solving. And what we need to do to get there is to get to neutral to positive.
00:29:45.700 --> 00:29:59.519 Julie Fischer: As opposed to drowning in negative emotion. And one of the examples I give is, like, we've all been in a meeting where there's all sorts of creative ideas bouncing around, and people get more excited, and more ideas come out.
00:30:00.110 --> 00:30:07.389 Julie Fischer: And many of us have been in meetings where people are focused on the problem.
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:10.989 Julie Fischer: How much that problem sucks.
00:30:12.770 --> 00:30:14.480 Julie Fischer: Perhaps who's at fault?
00:30:15.730 --> 00:30:17.649 Julie Fischer: Who did what, when, to whom?
00:30:22.440 --> 00:30:23.599 Julie Fischer: And nothing gets…
00:30:25.290 --> 00:30:37.430 Julie Fischer: solved, nothing moves forward. So, part of my whole idea around micro-adjustments is, how can we get to neutral and above, right? Because that's… from that place.
00:30:39.770 --> 00:30:41.820 Julie Fischer: That's where we're gonna move forward.
00:30:42.270 --> 00:30:49.400 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. It reminds me of, and maybe she's the one behind this, the above the line, below the line?
00:30:49.870 --> 00:30:52.249 Mira Brancu: Is she behind that, that kind of…
00:30:52.780 --> 00:31:03.730 Julie Fischer: See, that's not her work, and I do… I know above the line, below the line, and to your point, most of us spend most of our time below the line, which is in threat.
00:31:03.730 --> 00:31:04.210 Mira Brancu: That's right.
00:31:04.210 --> 00:31:10.179 Julie Fischer: Again, because we're biologically wired for that, right? You know, I mean, it's that whole idea that
00:31:10.430 --> 00:31:17.909 Julie Fischer: You know, we're still wired, you know, it's the old hard wiring for the saber-toothed tiger, but now it's the snarky email.
00:31:18.050 --> 00:31:18.730 Mira Brancu: Right.
00:31:19.090 --> 00:31:22.909 Mira Brancu: Exactly, yes, and we have the same threat response.
00:31:23.060 --> 00:31:34.090 Mira Brancu: Right? Yes, excellent. Okay, so, we are reaching another ad break, and when we come back, I want us to take some examples of what it would look like
00:31:34.320 --> 00:31:36.900 Mira Brancu: For people to actually apply
00:31:37.100 --> 00:31:48.249 Mira Brancu: micro-adjustments in the way that you talked about, going from neutral, or less than neutral, to positive, that creative energy that we all need to be in, right? So.
00:31:48.450 --> 00:32:03.470 Mira Brancu: You're listening to The Hard Skills with me, Dr. Mira Brancou, and our guest today, Julie Fisher. You can, catch us Tuesdays, 5 p.m. Eastern Time on LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, through talkradio.nyc, and we will be right back in just a moment.
00:33:43.620 --> 00:33:48.319 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the Hard Skills, with Julie Fisher. So, Julie.
00:33:49.740 --> 00:33:56.739 Julie Fischer: I'm going to, throw out one example, but you might have more of these. The sort of, like, typical.
00:33:57.800 --> 00:34:00.859 Mira Brancu: client that I often see is a mid-level leader.
00:34:01.010 --> 00:34:06.329 Mira Brancu: In a fast-paced, high-pressure role within an organization.
00:34:06.480 --> 00:34:14.330 Mira Brancu: That is going through upheaval, rifts, restructuring,
00:34:15.460 --> 00:34:22.990 Mira Brancu: right now, so many of my clients are going through that, right? And they are just completely underwater.
00:34:23.780 --> 00:34:30.450 Mira Brancu: So they are definitely below the line, they're… they're not really neutral, right?
00:34:30.860 --> 00:34:36.429 Mira Brancu: What micro-adjustments would you be thinking about for somebody like that?
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:40.970 Julie Fischer: Okay. The first… the first, I would say.
00:34:41.100 --> 00:34:44.299 Julie Fischer: Because my belief is, it all begins with us.
00:34:44.489 --> 00:34:48.919 Julie Fischer: Right, so the first thing is, can I regulate my own nervous system?
00:34:49.239 --> 00:34:57.830 Julie Fischer: And… Mira, in a lot of my work, what I see is People have never learned
00:34:58.540 --> 00:35:05.559 Julie Fischer: to do that, right? A lot of society tells us to disassociate from our bodies.
00:35:05.620 --> 00:35:13.220 Julie Fischer: And so we ignore a lot of the signs of when our nervous system is really, really dysregulated. And…
00:35:13.220 --> 00:35:26.329 Julie Fischer: sorted to that broaden and built. Like, when we're feel… you know, we don't even realize, like, we're not breathing deeply, we're, like, up in our chest breathing, and our shoulders are up here. And so, the first thing is…
00:35:26.650 --> 00:35:30.330 Julie Fischer: You know, can… can you simply notice
00:35:31.550 --> 00:35:34.529 Julie Fischer: There's this great app called Mind Jogger.
00:35:34.980 --> 00:35:43.770 Julie Fischer: And often I have my clients download that app, and you can set it to randomly, throughout the day, ask yourself questions.
00:35:46.530 --> 00:36:02.710 Julie Fischer: And in the context of above the line, below the line, for a long time, I had, when I was very involved in that practice, I had a mind jogger that 6 times throughout the day, asked me, where are you?
00:36:04.520 --> 00:36:07.049 Julie Fischer: Just… it was just a moment.
00:36:07.530 --> 00:36:12.720 Julie Fischer: Right? It was a moment for me to pause, And check in.
00:36:13.050 --> 00:36:13.540 Mira Brancu: So…
00:36:13.540 --> 00:36:21.530 Julie Fischer: I think the first thing is, the first micro-adjustment is simply awareness. When we're in reactivity, we're not aware.
00:36:21.920 --> 00:36:22.440 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:36:22.930 --> 00:36:28.670 Julie Fischer: So… We're talking about something that sounds so simple.
00:36:29.180 --> 00:36:33.790 Julie Fischer: And yet, so many people don't do it, and they have a story. I can't do it, I can't take any time to do that.
00:36:34.590 --> 00:36:41.030 Julie Fischer: And… when it becomes a practice… so the first thing I would say is download Mind Jogger.
00:36:41.540 --> 00:36:47.810 Julie Fischer: Just so you have a source to check in with yourself. Give yourself 30 seconds.
00:36:48.140 --> 00:36:50.430 Julie Fischer: 4 to 6 times a day.
00:36:51.790 --> 00:36:54.670 Julie Fischer: Where you can just notice.
00:36:55.100 --> 00:36:58.889 Julie Fischer: What's happening in your body, and what's happening in your head.
00:36:59.420 --> 00:36:59.940 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:37:00.740 --> 00:37:03.430 Mira Brancu: Yeah, and I would say that a lot of
00:37:03.660 --> 00:37:06.610 Mira Brancu: The ways that we escalate problems.
00:37:07.140 --> 00:37:09.890 Mira Brancu: Is when we're not checking in with ourselves first.
00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:18.419 Mira Brancu: And noticing when our heart is racing, and we're getting angrier, and we're telling
00:37:18.600 --> 00:37:27.399 Mira Brancu: ourselves all kinds of things about what's happening in the moment, and we're making assumptions without checking in, and all of those things increase conflict.
00:37:28.160 --> 00:37:44.509 Julie Fischer: Right, right. And this… and then, once… once I'm settled, and if I know I'm below the line, and I feel very threatened, I think the next… I think sometimes the next question is, what's that threat?
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:53.999 Julie Fischer: what's that threat in this moment? Like, I think just those two things, just so, you know, what's that threat?
00:37:54.210 --> 00:38:01.469 Julie Fischer: Because sometimes, again, our physical response to threat The snarky email.
00:38:01.690 --> 00:38:03.870 Julie Fischer: Okay, let's use that as an example.
00:38:04.180 --> 00:38:08.099 Julie Fischer: We are dysregulated from that snarky email.
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:13.579 Julie Fischer: And yet, if I ask myself, what's that threat? Am I gonna get fired?
00:38:14.530 --> 00:38:15.640 Julie Fischer: Probably not.
00:38:17.570 --> 00:38:23.750 Julie Fischer: Right. Do… am I…
00:38:24.180 --> 00:38:41.230 Julie Fischer: you know, does someone, is someone accusing me of something? Can I get clear on what is that threat? Is it my ego? Right? Is my ego a threat right now? Or is this sort of an irrational response? You know, one that I'm… I'm…
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:44.090 Julie Fischer: Oops, sorry, my phone came out.
00:38:44.290 --> 00:38:50.210 Julie Fischer: my… that I'm wired to have, and yet…
00:38:50.340 --> 00:38:54.200 Julie Fischer: It's not related to the reality of what's happening in this moment.
00:38:55.370 --> 00:38:56.739 Julie Fischer: So that's number one.
00:38:57.270 --> 00:39:07.489 Julie Fischer: That would be the first thing. I would also say to that person, how are you starting your day? I would say everyone has 5 to 15 minutes.
00:39:07.880 --> 00:39:12.019 Julie Fischer: For personal practices to start their day.
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:21.039 Julie Fischer: Whether that's gratitude, intention setting, those are all micro things that Set us up.
00:39:23.720 --> 00:39:32.190 Julie Fischer: Personally, so that the person who shows up to that situation that it sounds like they don't have a lot of control over.
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:38.430 Julie Fischer: Can show up more resourced.
00:39:38.770 --> 00:39:46.110 Julie Fischer: So, is it meditation? Is it stretching for 15 minutes in the morning? Is it going for a run?
00:39:46.250 --> 00:39:55.040 Julie Fischer: Identifying your thing that helps regulate your nervous system in the mornings, I think is essential.
00:39:58.160 --> 00:39:59.189 Mira Brancu: Yes, I guess.
00:39:59.190 --> 00:39:59.720 Julie Fischer: I…
00:40:00.310 --> 00:40:09.560 Mira Brancu: Yeah, and one of the things that… Often comes up is, the, I don't have time.
00:40:10.160 --> 00:40:17.199 Mira Brancu: I don't have any time to do the things that I want to do. I feel like everybody steals my time, I feel like everybody…
00:40:18.610 --> 00:40:27.969 Mira Brancu: My meetings are packed every single day, back to back to back. I don't have any time to focus or strategize. What could be a micro-adjustment in that
00:40:28.450 --> 00:40:30.519 Mira Brancu: situation.
00:40:31.680 --> 00:40:40.559 Julie Fischer: So… You just describe someone who feels very at the effect of their circumstances.
00:40:40.700 --> 00:40:41.340 Mira Brancu: Yes.
00:40:43.050 --> 00:40:43.660 Julie Fischer: Yeah.
00:40:45.120 --> 00:40:50.550 Julie Fischer: how am I at the effect of my circumstances? So even that, just awareness.
00:40:50.720 --> 00:40:55.669 Julie Fischer: Can I get curious around, first of all, my story around time?
00:40:56.530 --> 00:40:57.880 Julie Fischer: How am I not…
00:40:58.820 --> 00:41:08.000 Julie Fischer: my question might be, how am I not making time for myself, my well-being, my mental health, my physical health, my spiritual health, right? So… so…
00:41:08.740 --> 00:41:10.399 Julie Fischer: Where am I in this?
00:41:11.030 --> 00:41:17.930 Julie Fischer: Another… another tool is, am I taking 100% responsibility, right, for… for my life, myself?
00:41:19.170 --> 00:41:19.930 Mira Brancu: Mmm.
00:41:21.210 --> 00:41:23.200 Julie Fischer: So what's my 100%?
00:41:23.920 --> 00:41:27.539 Julie Fischer: How much of my agency am I giving away?
00:41:30.970 --> 00:41:31.840 Julie Fischer: you know.
00:41:31.990 --> 00:41:36.380 Julie Fischer: Oftentimes when we're feeling at the effect of.
00:41:36.930 --> 00:41:40.139 Julie Fischer: We have had no conversations with other people.
00:41:42.730 --> 00:41:44.290 Mira Brancu: Yes, yes.
00:41:44.290 --> 00:41:46.889 Julie Fischer: Right? We've had no conversations with anybody else.
00:41:47.290 --> 00:41:57.460 Julie Fischer: But we're really in victim mode, right? We're feeling very at the effect of the circumstances around us. And the reality, the micro-adjustment here is
00:41:58.050 --> 00:42:00.050 Julie Fischer: You only have agency over you.
00:42:01.130 --> 00:42:05.630 Julie Fischer: So, the micro-adjustment is, what conversation have you had with your manager?
00:42:08.650 --> 00:42:11.040 Julie Fischer: What kind of boundaries have you put in place?
00:42:11.360 --> 00:42:16.040 Julie Fischer: When someone piles another thing on your desk, what's your response to that?
00:42:17.720 --> 00:42:21.060 Julie Fischer: Do you huff and puff and be passive-aggressive?
00:42:21.910 --> 00:42:24.340 Julie Fischer: Or do you say, hey, listen.
00:42:28.530 --> 00:42:35.820 Julie Fischer: You know what? I see that. This week, I'd like this, so do you want me to put that one aside while I focus on this?
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:43.409 Julie Fischer: So I think there's, like, some of those micro-adjustments is, what would it be like for me to take 100% responsibility?
00:42:44.620 --> 00:42:52.320 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah, and what's, I think what's coming to mind here is…
00:42:53.150 --> 00:43:02.389 Mira Brancu: you know, when we talk about micro-adjustments such as, walking or breathing, right? People start thinking.
00:43:03.560 --> 00:43:05.650 Mira Brancu: Oh, that's,
00:43:06.530 --> 00:43:13.899 Mira Brancu: you know, barely gonna put a dent in my day, right? But when… when you go…
00:43:14.090 --> 00:43:19.950 Mira Brancu: below the surface of that, right? Of, like, What does it actually take?
00:43:20.700 --> 00:43:28.620 Mira Brancu: for you to restructure your day to allow yourself that time. What does it actually take for you to set a boundary
00:43:28.790 --> 00:43:33.540 Mira Brancu: And have a conversation about what you need, right?
00:43:33.660 --> 00:43:41.380 Mira Brancu: In fact, those are the hard skills. Like, that requires you to…
00:43:41.890 --> 00:43:55.300 Mira Brancu: Practice things that maybe you've never tried before, that maybe you've never had practice doing before, that maybe make you feel very uncomfortable to say, no.
00:43:55.400 --> 00:43:56.340 Mira Brancu: this…
00:43:56.400 --> 00:44:16.009 Mira Brancu: time is going to be my time. Or, I can't take that meeting because that will leave me with nothing left. Or, you know, those kinds of things are not always easy for people who have given, given, given, given, said yes, yes, yes, all the time, right? It requires…
00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:22.010 Mira Brancu: More than simply just carving out time on my calendar, right?
00:44:22.250 --> 00:44:28.250 Julie Fischer: Yes, and you're speaking, Mira, to a relationship someone has with themselves.
00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:29.220 Mira Brancu: Hmm.
00:44:29.470 --> 00:44:30.720 Julie Fischer: So…
00:44:31.490 --> 00:44:46.239 Julie Fischer: I think you and I maybe have talked about this before, especially for women, not only women, but especially for… you know, we've been raised to be givers. We've been raised to be kind and nice and helpful, and saying no feels like…
00:44:47.550 --> 00:44:48.390 Julie Fischer: you know.
00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:58.719 Julie Fischer: we're gonna be disowned. I think it places for many people a real sense, right, an old sense of
00:44:58.790 --> 00:45:11.759 Julie Fischer: I will not be loved, I will be not… I won't feel safe and secure, and so again, the no micro-adjustment, like practicing… just practicing a no, what's a… what's a low-risk no?
00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:16.249 Julie Fischer: Okay? What I would say a low-risk no is, you know.
00:45:16.940 --> 00:45:22.990 Julie Fischer: the PTA calling and saying, can you bring the cupcakes to the Not this week.
00:45:25.150 --> 00:45:32.639 Julie Fischer: plate is full. You know, so what are the low-risk no's? Before you go and say to your boss, absolutely not, I cannot do that.
00:45:32.910 --> 00:45:49.340 Julie Fischer: It's exercising a muscle, though, and if you're not familiar with that muscle, and I think you're bringing up something really important, Mira, often I suggest the first thing is saying yes to yourself. You don't have to say no to anybody else.
00:45:49.790 --> 00:46:01.619 Julie Fischer: Can you start saying yes to yourself in the morning? So, when I say, go take a walk around the block, or go to a yoga class, or whatever, you are giving yourself the gift of dopamine.
00:46:01.780 --> 00:46:04.619 Julie Fischer: Of endorphins, and that's real.
00:46:04.940 --> 00:46:06.920 Julie Fischer: That's setting your day up.
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:12.170 Julie Fischer: Because you have just released Good, happy hormones into your body.
00:46:13.310 --> 00:46:27.040 Mira Brancu: Awesome, awesome. Right. We're reaching another ad break, so you're listening to The Hard Skills with me, Dr. Mir Brancou, and our guest today, Julie Fisher, and we will be right back in just a moment.
00:47:57.960 --> 00:48:19.170 Mira Brancu: Welcome, welcome back to The Hard Skills with Julie Fisher today. We've had quite a number of comments come through. This seemed to really resonate with a lot of people. On Facebook, Lionel Clark said yes, to what Julie and I were talking about. Then there was a number of emojis with hearts and stuff like that.
00:48:19.170 --> 00:48:22.440 Mira Brancu: And another person…
00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:41.500 Mira Brancu: Tarygg87 said, we're all… we've all been raised, in that manner, right? So this really resonated for folks about, like, how hard it is to overcome the messages of, you know, that we get over a lifetime, and recognizing how important it is to first say yes to yourself.
00:48:42.260 --> 00:48:43.420 Julie Fischer: One thing a day.
00:48:43.420 --> 00:48:44.079 Mira Brancu: One thing at…
00:48:44.080 --> 00:48:48.759 Julie Fischer: One thing a day. One thing a day. There's your micro-adjustment. One thing a day, say yes to yourself.
00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:53.749 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. So, one of the things that I was thinking about is, like.
00:48:54.590 --> 00:48:57.910 Mira Brancu: You were talking about building a muscle.
00:48:58.820 --> 00:48:59.370 Julie Fischer: What?
00:48:59.370 --> 00:49:05.620 Mira Brancu: One of the things that I realized very recently about myself is I have always considered myself a very resilient person.
00:49:07.830 --> 00:49:17.610 Mira Brancu: But I realized recently when, I've had quite a number of issues physically with injuries and things like that.
00:49:17.750 --> 00:49:31.999 Mira Brancu: that I am resilient in only one area of my life, which is the emotional and mental health resilience. I'm unflappable, very few things bother me, but then, when the physical stuff started happening, I was not used to it.
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:47.029 Mira Brancu: I never had to deal with it like other people, right, in my family. And so, I've got my spouse, who's always dealt with a chronic, you know, illness, and he
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:55.080 Mira Brancu: is very used to it. Like, he knows exactly what to do, all the, you know, all the things. He's… he's done all the micro-adjustments in order to be, like.
00:49:55.770 --> 00:50:02.429 Mira Brancu: very… he's got all the muscles there, right? I have none of the muscles when it comes to the physical resiliency.
00:50:02.540 --> 00:50:03.970 Mira Brancu: And so…
00:50:04.180 --> 00:50:17.449 Mira Brancu: just because you're resilient in one area of your life does not mean you automatically are able to transfer the skills in another area. So I'd love to hear, like, your thoughts about the resiliency building when it comes to
00:50:17.630 --> 00:50:19.789 Mira Brancu: How you think about yourself.
00:50:20.250 --> 00:50:28.169 Mira Brancu: Resilient versus not, what we tolerate versus what we don't, what, you know, sustains you versus not, those kinds of things.
00:50:28.790 --> 00:50:34.990 Julie Fischer: It's so interesting. I think part of… yes, first of all, I want to just affirm you. Yes.
00:50:35.010 --> 00:50:47.240 Julie Fischer: we build… because resiliency is about building muscles, and most of us build them in certain areas of our life that have been tested, right? Or were trained to, right? I mean, and so…
00:50:47.240 --> 00:50:56.500 Julie Fischer: you know, like you, lots of the men… that doesn't really flap me. Lots of people share things that other people might fall off their chair and… and…
00:50:56.550 --> 00:51:02.519 Julie Fischer: I can stay and hold space, and that all feels… I have a very fear around physical.
00:51:02.810 --> 00:51:08.480 Julie Fischer: You know, physical interruptions in my life. And…
00:51:08.780 --> 00:51:23.689 Julie Fischer: It is a muscle, so you've never faced that before. The truth about resiliency is we build the muscle by being challenged. We build the muscle by butting up against that growth edge.
00:51:24.630 --> 00:51:29.460 Julie Fischer: And I also think we build the muscle, Mira.
00:51:29.630 --> 00:51:45.409 Julie Fischer: We live in this either-or world, and very few things are solved that way. I think we also build that muscle by being able to hold complexity.
00:51:46.590 --> 00:51:48.030 Julie Fischer: the both and.
00:51:48.930 --> 00:51:50.960 Julie Fischer: Right? And…
00:51:52.400 --> 00:52:03.079 Julie Fischer: there's challenges here, and there's opportunities here, right? So for you, this feels challenging, and there's an opportunity to build a muscle here.
00:52:05.080 --> 00:52:18.429 Julie Fischer: that you didn't norm… that you didn't have before. And so I think that's the first thing I would say about resiliency, right? And this whole idea that… so can I hold the complexity that
00:52:18.730 --> 00:52:20.499 Julie Fischer: Two things can be true.
00:52:20.820 --> 00:52:22.049 Julie Fischer: At the same time.
00:52:22.860 --> 00:52:30.850 Julie Fischer: The other thing that I'm often asking myself when I'm faced with challenges is, how is this for me?
00:52:34.890 --> 00:52:37.680 Julie Fischer: So… How can this be for me?
00:52:37.880 --> 00:52:48.010 Julie Fischer: Right? So, maybe it… the way it is for me is I'm building… I do have a hamstring issue. I am working on building that muscle, like, the literal muscle.
00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:49.860 Julie Fischer: And…
00:52:50.040 --> 00:52:59.709 Julie Fischer: So, when that gets built, I will be in a better place. I will be stronger to face the next
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:01.550 Julie Fischer: Pickleball incident.
00:53:02.300 --> 00:53:03.240 Julie Fischer: Pretty truthful.
00:53:03.240 --> 00:53:05.440 Mira Brancu: I'm curious, you know,
00:53:05.600 --> 00:53:13.380 Mira Brancu: If we're gonna continue with this analogy for just a little bit longer. Resilience…
00:53:14.330 --> 00:53:23.390 Mira Brancu: Sometimes people think about it as… Coping and accepting or tolerating Suffering.
00:53:24.740 --> 00:53:37.740 Mira Brancu: And… I… I'm not sure… That is the message, right? Resilience is… is more about… Wh-what…
00:53:38.180 --> 00:53:47.909 Mira Brancu: helps, what sustains, what keeps you going, what feeds you, right? And so, how do you think about, like, resilience
00:53:48.080 --> 00:53:54.750 Mira Brancu: That is, like, An unhealthy message in our world today around resilience.
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:55.980 Mira Brancu: Versus…
00:53:55.980 --> 00:54:02.630 Julie Fischer: Yeah. Yeah. I think… I think we have a muscle-through mentality. You know, I think there's still this…
00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:16.989 Julie Fischer: you know, kind of outdated, toxic… I'm gonna say sort of toxic masculine, muscle-through mentality that's pushed in the world and in the workplace, right?
00:54:17.400 --> 00:54:20.290 Julie Fischer: And resilience isn't about that.
00:54:20.290 --> 00:54:39.019 Julie Fischer: Right? Resilience is about strengthening muscles that help us move forward, not get dragged forward. Like, when I think about the muscling through, I think someone, like, dragging someone over the finish line. It's not about that. It's about, can I strengthen muscles that are going to help me face this challenge differently in the future?
00:54:39.420 --> 00:54:44.350 Julie Fischer: Or another challenge, am I strengthening a muscle that I'm going to be able to apply?
00:54:45.340 --> 00:54:55.909 Julie Fischer: to something else. Let's go back to boundaries. If you start strengthening that muscle, because I think learning to say yes to yourself and no to others is part of resiliency.
00:54:56.070 --> 00:54:56.480 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:54:56.480 --> 00:55:03.050 Julie Fischer: And if you start strengthening that muscle, and you start with that little, small yes, and then it turns into a little no.
00:55:03.290 --> 00:55:18.560 Julie Fischer: eventually, that's going to be a confident, okay, I see you're putting this on my desk, and you know what? This also… you also gave me this, this, and this this week, so which one of these am I deprioritizing?
00:55:20.790 --> 00:55:21.460 Mira Brancu: Yes.
00:55:21.580 --> 00:55:30.910 Mira Brancu: That's right. Yeah, absolutely. Lionel Clark said on Facebook, it's also a hard mental challenge to build muscle growth, yes.
00:55:30.910 --> 00:55:31.670 Julie Fischer: It is!
00:55:31.670 --> 00:55:32.210 Mira Brancu: Oh, total.
00:55:32.210 --> 00:55:33.099 Julie Fischer: It is!
00:55:33.100 --> 00:55:33.710 Mira Brancu: Okay.
00:55:33.710 --> 00:55:34.120 Julie Fischer: It is.
00:55:34.120 --> 00:55:40.180 Mira Brancu: So, if somebody's listening right now and thinking,
00:55:40.420 --> 00:55:45.660 Mira Brancu: I know I'm barely holding it together, I don't have time to fix it,
00:55:46.050 --> 00:55:47.940 Mira Brancu: This sounds like a lot.
00:55:48.110 --> 00:55:51.280 Mira Brancu: This sounds like I'm gonna be working on something forever.
00:55:51.980 --> 00:55:54.199 Mira Brancu: What… what would you say to them?
00:55:58.010 --> 00:56:01.969 Mira Brancu: Download Mind Jogger and build awareness around your nervous system.
00:56:03.270 --> 00:56:05.989 Julie Fischer: Very good. Just check it… just check in with yourself.
00:56:05.990 --> 00:56:12.139 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah, it goes back to… there's a reason we started talking about micro-adjustments, and that is…
00:56:12.470 --> 00:56:16.560 Mira Brancu: You've got to chunk it down to bite-sized pieces.
00:56:17.340 --> 00:56:27.069 Mira Brancu: And, there's only one way to that, you know, end-state muscle growth, and that is with everyday tiny adjustments.
00:56:27.380 --> 00:56:28.869 Mira Brancu: That will get you there.
00:56:29.330 --> 00:56:31.910 Julie Fischer: You don't go to the gym and start with a 50-pound weight.
00:56:31.910 --> 00:56:40.600 Mira Brancu: That's right, that's right. Okay, so, if people want to find out about you, where can they find more information? I'm also showing it, live here.
00:56:41.080 --> 00:56:58.870 Julie Fischer: They can find me at Juliefisher.com… julifishercoaching.com. They can find me at 9 to Thrive, the well-being podcast on Apple, on Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcast… your podcasts. You can find me on LinkedIn, on Instagram.
00:56:58.870 --> 00:57:01.410 Julie Fischer: You can sign up for my newsletter.
00:57:01.410 --> 00:57:08.359 Julie Fischer: If you're interested in looking at your Wheel of Life, come to my website, and you can sign up and get your Wheel of Life, and…
00:57:08.470 --> 00:57:11.479 Julie Fischer: Follow me… Check me out!
00:57:11.610 --> 00:57:14.809 Julie Fischer: Send me an email, I'd love to be in dialogue with you.
00:57:15.040 --> 00:57:29.769 Mira Brancu: Awesome. Her podcast, 9 to Thrive, is awesome. You definitely should go listen to it. I love what Julie, you know, shares, there, as well as on her website and everywhere else.
00:57:30.240 --> 00:57:37.530 Mira Brancu: Audience, what did you take away? And more importantly, what is one small change you can implement this week
00:57:37.660 --> 00:57:39.519 Mira Brancu: Based on what you learned from Julie.
00:57:39.660 --> 00:57:45.780 Mira Brancu: I suspect it's going to be some kind of micro-adjustment. Share it with us, whatever that is, on LinkedIn.
00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:47.760 Mira Brancu: So that we can cheer you on!
00:57:48.040 --> 00:58:00.169 Mira Brancu: The Hard Skills is also on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Twitch, Apple, Spotify, Amazon, all over the place, wherever you find your podcasts. If today's episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague, or leave a review.
00:58:00.170 --> 00:58:08.420 Mira Brancu: And, thank you to TalkRadio.nyc for hosting. Together, we will navigate the complexities of leadership and emerge stronger
00:58:08.570 --> 00:58:25.559 Mira Brancu: On the other side. That's right, the hard skills muscle, that's right. So, thank you for joining me and Julie Fisher today on this journey. This is Dr. Mara Branco signing off, and until next time, stay steady, stay present, and keep building those hard skills muscles muscles!
00:58:25.710 --> 00:58:26.380 Mira Brancu: Bye, everyone.
00:58:26.380 --> 00:58:28.490 Julie Fischer: Thanks, everybody! Bye!
Talking Alternative Broadcasting
392 Central Park West Suite 17R - New York, NY 10025
Privacy Policy · Terms & Conditions
Thank You for Visiting TALKRADIO.NYC © 2022.
