Tuesdays 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EDT)
EPISODE SUMMARY:
What if tension isn’t a threat—but the key to breakthrough thinking and faster decisions? What if the conflict you’re avoiding is the conversation your team desperately needs?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why the conflicts they're avoiding are actually the breakthrough conversations their organizations desperately need
- Why "keeping the peace" during rapid change leads to slower decisions, missed opportunities, and eventual explosions
- A practical framework for distinguishing between destructive drama and productive friction that accelerates results
- How to transform exhausted, resistant teams into engaged problem-solvers who thrive on complexity during rapid change
We’re not just talking about friction—we’re reframing it. This episode invites you to rethink everything you’ve been taught about conflict in leadership. Most high-achievers believe that success comes from maintaining control, smoothing over disagreements, and keeping the peace. But what if that’s exactly what’s holding your team back?
In this raw and real conversation, we dig into how avoiding tension delays progress, waters down innovation, and breeds quiet resistance that shows up when it matters most. You'll learn how to move from suppression to strategic friction—where tough conversations fuel creativity, unlock alignment, and accelerate results.
This episode is a mirror for leaders who feel stuck in endless consensus-building or exhausted by invisible resistance. It’s a wake-up call for those who fear conflict but crave momentum. If you’ve ever wondered why your smartest teams still stall out, this one’s for you.
You’ll walk away with:
- A blueprint for productive conflict that accelerates change
- New language for managing competing priorities under pressure
- Real-world stories of what actually works when the stakes are high
If you’re ready to stop walking on eggshells and start leading with clarity—press play.
***
ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Alexandra Prassas is an Organizational Effectiveness leader with 20+ years in the People & Culture space. Currently she partners with organizations to realize growth strategies through optimizing People systems, leadership, and organization design, and is passionate about helping leaders harness organizational tensions to drive breakthrough results during rapid change and transformation. Previously, she led global Organization Development and DEI functions internally and Change Management for large-scale transformations externally, empowering companies across a range of industries to navigate organizational evolution. Alix serves as Adjunct Faculty in IO-Psychology at The Chicago School, President of ACMP Midwest, and Lead for Culture First Chicago. She is a PhD candidate in Organizational Leadership.
***
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS EPISODE, CAN I ASK A FAVOR?
We do not receive any funding or sponsorship for this podcast. If you learned something and feel others could also benefit, please leave a positive review.
Every review helps amplify our work and visibility. This is especially helpful for small women-owned boot-strapped businesses. Simply go to the bottom of the Apple Podcast page to enter a review. Thank you!
***
LINKS:
www.gotowerscope.com
https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/the-hard-skills-dr-mira-brancu-m0QzwsFiBGE/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandraprassas/
#OrganizationalEffectiveness #ProductiveConflict #TheHardSkills
Tune in for this empowering conversation at TalkRadio.nyc
In this episode of The Hard Skills, Dr. Mira Brancu and organizational leader Alix Prassas dive into the power of embracing conflict as a tool for growth. Alix shares how her early experiences with discomfort, including navigating personal challenges like ADHD, taught her to see conflict as a means to uncover deeper insights and foster collaboration. Leaders are encouraged to reframe conflict not as a threat, but as an opportunity to drive alignment, engage teams, and achieve breakthrough results during periods of change.
In this segment of The Hard Skills, Alix Prassas and Dr. Mira Brancu explore how teams can grow through tension and the importance of building trust for effective feedback. Alix emphasizes that creating a psychologically safe environment for feedback is not enough; leaders must follow through with actionable changes and communicate those changes to maintain trust and engagement. Leaders should ensure feedback is specific, handle their reactions constructively, and close the loop by checking in with teams to see the impact of the feedback on their work.
In this segment of The Hard Skills, Alix Prassas and Dr. Mira Brancu explore how teams can grow through tension and the importance of building trust for effective feedback. Alix emphasizes that creating a psychologically safe environment for feedback is not enough; leaders must follow through with actionable changes and communicate those changes to maintain trust and engagement. Leaders should ensure feedback is specific, handle their reactions constructively, and close the loop by checking in with teams to see the impact of the feedback on their work.
In this segment of The Hard Skills, Alix Prassas and Dr. Mira Brancu discuss how to keep teams engaged in problem-solving while managing the exhaustion that comes with continuous change. Alix emphasizes the importance of checking in with team members to ensure alignment on shared goals and priorities, recognizing that tension can highlight areas that need clarity. She suggests reframing conflict as an opportunity for collaboration, with leaders using trust and feedback to foster productive conversations that lead to sustainable progress without overwhelming the team.
00:00:49.440 --> 00:00:58.939 Mira Brancu: Welcome. Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branku. And today we're talking about tension. Everybody's favorite subject.
00:00:59.210 --> 00:01:06.130 Mira Brancu: Now, what if tension isn't a threat, but the key to breakthrough
00:01:06.650 --> 00:01:10.990 Mira Brancu: thinking faster, making faster decisions. What if conflict
00:01:11.110 --> 00:01:16.110 Mira Brancu: that you're avoiding right now is the conversation your team desperately needs.
00:01:16.810 --> 00:01:21.459 Mira Brancu: This is a great fit for this season's focus on endurance and leadership.
00:01:22.520 --> 00:01:48.120 Mira Brancu: You are listening to the hard skills show where we take a deep dive into the most challenging soft skills required to navigate leadership, uncertainty, complexities, and change today and into the future. I'm your host, Dr. Mira Baroncu, psychologist, leadership, consultant and founder of Taroscope, and today we are talking with Alexandra Prasus, who goes by Alex. So I'm going to call her Alex.
00:01:48.230 --> 00:01:52.500 Mira Brancu: And Alex is an organizational effectiveness leader with 20
00:01:52.750 --> 00:01:56.879 Mira Brancu: over 20 years. Really, in the people and culture space.
00:01:57.230 --> 00:02:12.479 Mira Brancu: Currently, she partners with organizations to realize growth strategies through optimizing people, systems, leadership and organizational design, and is passionate about helping leaders, harness organizational tensions to drive breakthrough results during rapid change and transformation.
00:02:12.830 --> 00:02:21.389 Mira Brancu: Previously she led global organizational development and Dei functions internally and change management for large-scale transformations, externally
00:02:22.270 --> 00:02:48.079 Mira Brancu: empowering companies across a range of industries to navigate organizational evolution, and she serves as adjunct faculty in I/O psychology at the Chicago School. She's also president of Acnp. Midwest and lead for culture. 1st Chicago. She's a Phd candidate and organizational leadership. So we're going to tap into what she's studying now on this topic.
00:02:48.610 --> 00:02:50.619 Mira Brancu: Welcome to the show, Alex.
00:02:51.520 --> 00:02:53.879 Alix Prassas: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
00:02:54.190 --> 00:03:00.360 Mira Brancu: Thanks. Now. You have helped leaders navigate massive organizational shifts.
00:03:00.890 --> 00:03:05.260 Mira Brancu: What was the moment in your own career when you realized
00:03:05.690 --> 00:03:14.359 Mira Brancu: maybe conflict wasn't something to avoid, but something to use. And what was that experience like for you?
00:03:15.340 --> 00:03:42.819 Alix Prassas: Yeah, it's interesting, because I was very fortunate. I feel like to learn a lot of these lessons very early. Really, even before I entered the workforce I had studied abroad, I studied in undergrad both political science, African American studies, and both of those things forced me to confront a lot of things I had just accepted as reality, and as the way things were.
00:03:42.820 --> 00:03:47.310 Alix Prassas: and to really embrace a different lens on the world.
00:03:47.310 --> 00:04:14.659 Alix Prassas: and it was absolutely uncomfortable. You know I'm like 1819, 20 years old, right? But every single time I grew so much so that was kind of like, you know, the start of that right? Just kind of understanding. Okay, push through it right? Because the other side is much more exciting. And I think when I entered the workforce. You know I've always been a very strong personality. Most people can tell that pretty quickly with me.
00:04:14.660 --> 00:04:21.739 Alix Prassas: and so I think you know, my issue is less about avoiding conflict, and more about how I manage conflict.
00:04:21.740 --> 00:04:22.070 Mira Brancu: Hmm.
00:04:22.070 --> 00:04:40.399 Alix Prassas: I kind of without even realizing it with would more. So go the steamroll route like, I'm just gonna say this so directly and in such a command that, yeah, people, you know, people can't really push back right? So having to learn how to be more collaborative and how to do it thoughtfully.
00:04:40.400 --> 00:04:59.709 Alix Prassas: And that doesn't mean that you are wishy-washy about how you see things right? So getting that different perspective. And I think through facilitating change with organizations through building organizations, just seeing that time and time and time again, and just seeing the growth that's on the other side with leaders as well as myself
00:04:59.710 --> 00:05:26.099 Alix Prassas: to this day, I will absolutely admit. Am I always the best at sorting through the conflict every single minute? No, you know, that's why we love teachers right? We love to say we don't always do, but I'm getting better and better. But I have absolutely seen the results that come from working better together and really just making things more efficient, but also just
00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:32.789 Alix Prassas: more engaging for everyone. No one wants to work next to someone who's disengaged right? And conflict
00:05:32.840 --> 00:05:39.480 Alix Prassas: when you don't address it. You know that silences, voices, and it makes people feel like this isn't really the place for me.
00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:44.610 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I'm curious. Knowing that
00:05:44.740 --> 00:05:52.830 Mira Brancu: you automatically, even at an early age, 1920, we're drawn
00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:59.050 Mira Brancu: 2 situations that made you uncomfortable, and that you
00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:09.120 Mira Brancu: somehow knew that that discomfort could lead to growth or were curious about it at least, and then quickly realized that that is the outcome.
00:06:10.950 --> 00:06:24.419 Mira Brancu: which, by the way, obviously makes you a perfect person for engaging others and helping them navigate conflict because you're already comfortable with it. And most people are not right. But how did you
00:06:24.760 --> 00:06:48.330 Mira Brancu: get to that point? I mean, looking back even before that time point? Were you always like that? What contributed to you already having the mindset that discomfort leads to growth, and or that you are sort of like drawn to being curious about spaces that could lead to discomfort or conflict.
00:06:49.370 --> 00:07:05.979 Alix Prassas: Yeah, that's a really excellent question. I think that it is something that has definitely been pushed in my family. You know, we've always been pushed to grow and to confront sometimes more than others, sometimes less than others.
00:07:05.980 --> 00:07:32.860 Alix Prassas: But I think you know, one of the top things that comes to mind is actually so. I was recently diagnosed with Adhd, like a lot of women, you know, had it my entire life. But you know oh, you're too high achieving to possibly have Adhd. So I think about you know how quick I was to emotionally react to things right, just to be so impulsive. And in the moment and super reactive
00:07:33.299 --> 00:07:49.550 Alix Prassas: and realizing that, you know, if I if I took a beat right and tried to see from another lens, I think I was often challenged by my parents to see the other lens. You know. It's even like teacher conferences. Right? You're like,
00:07:49.920 --> 00:08:14.899 Alix Prassas: I can't wait to bring my mom, and she's going to say something to this teacher, and every single time they take the teacher's side, and I was like, Come on, you're supposed to have my side, but they heard him out. And I, you know, that taught me to like, hear out both sides right again. It doesn't mean you have any less conviction. So I think that was kind of always in me, and I think that you know where we, when I, when I'm in organizations. Kind of where that mindset comes into
00:08:14.900 --> 00:08:21.890 Alix Prassas: to play is a, you know, thinking about all the times that you know, having this neurodivergence feeling like
00:08:21.930 --> 00:08:47.790 Alix Prassas: no one really got me, or kind of feeling like an outsider. What does that feel like? It's uncomfortable. But how do we transition that uncomfortability to growth? Right? How do we use that to teach others? And tapping into those shared values? So I love that. You kind of asked me, where did that come from growing up because I think shared values is such a huge piece that no matter what the conflict is, if you can find that
00:08:47.790 --> 00:08:54.250 Alix Prassas: between the 2 or between the you know, several of you on the team. I think that's what you can really fall back on.
00:08:54.510 --> 00:09:11.319 Mira Brancu: Yeah, now, I'm curious the other side of it. So if you're really comfortable leaning into conflict because you've already attached value to it, right as this leads to growth. And I'm seeking growth right?
00:09:11.920 --> 00:09:19.700 Mira Brancu: deal with leaders or teams who are afraid of growth, afraid of conflict. They're nowhere near
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:37.610 Mira Brancu: comfortable as as comfortable as you are. How do you start getting them even like in those early phases prepared and open to lean into? Try, engage in considering this as a positive shift.
00:09:38.280 --> 00:10:04.949 Alix Prassas: Yeah. And I think it really is reframing the mindset around it. And sometimes, if I just have to use different words to get them on board. I will just use different words to get them on board, you know, as long as there's the same outcome, you know. That's what's most important. But you know, even when I, you know, 1st started teaching conflict managers or teaching conflict management to managers. Right? You know. 1st question I would ask, okay. How many times
00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:08.959 Alix Prassas: did you avoid addressing a conflict? And things got better.
00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:09.890 Mira Brancu: Oh!
00:10:11.380 --> 00:10:17.890 Alix Prassas: No hands go up. Oh, okay. So why do you think that is right? So it's everyone knows.
00:10:18.210 --> 00:10:20.618 Mira Brancu: Then how many times did it get worse?
00:10:20.920 --> 00:10:39.420 Alix Prassas: Absolutely and a lot of times. Part of it is that conflict. People hear the word, and they automatically go to kind of the worst elements of it. You know the picture of people screaming at each other and it automatically being bad. And what we don't want when you know, getting them actually to think about.
00:10:39.590 --> 00:10:43.009 Alix Prassas: You know, if no one's speaking up, if no one's pushing back.
00:10:44.220 --> 00:10:55.709 Alix Prassas: you know you're creating, you know, you're potentially creating an environment where people don't feel comfortable speaking up right like. Think from that lens instead of thinking, oh, isn't my team great? Everyone always agrees.
00:10:56.040 --> 00:11:01.269 Alix Prassas: Well, wait a second. What is the reason, you know? Do they really agree.
00:11:01.530 --> 00:11:14.989 Alix Prassas: or are they just appeasing me right? And they just, you know, they want to close their laptops and be done for the day. So so they're just nodding their head in agreement. So I think it's that side. It's, you know, communicating the risks
00:11:15.350 --> 00:11:25.890 Alix Prassas: when you, you know, if you don't address the conflict. It's, you know, thinking about how things can really blow up. So you know, we know that
00:11:26.170 --> 00:11:35.259 Alix Prassas: when we don't talk about things when we're not transparent, when we don't address things right. The story that employees have in their head is always so much worse.
00:11:35.510 --> 00:11:38.639 Mira Brancu: Than what the story actually is.
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:55.159 Alix Prassas: And to just, you know, be vulnerable for just a moment and say, if you don't know, that's an okay answer. I think too many times leaders think they need to have all the answers, and if they don't, then somehow they're less of a leader, they'll be looked down upon or not respected
00:11:55.400 --> 00:12:05.350 Alix Prassas: when actually, every instance I've seen is the opposite right when they have that vulnerability. As long as it's authentic, right? They're trusted. More
00:12:05.500 --> 00:12:26.939 Alix Prassas: people are more in it with them. They're willing to kind of go through the trenches a little bit more when they know that at least they're going to be honest with them right now. Obviously, there's a way to deliver it. And you know that's something we go through with. The training, you know. Don't do what I did early in my career, right? Was just steamroll. People like, Oh, look! No conflict. Just tell people what to do this. This works.
00:12:26.940 --> 00:12:27.540 Mira Brancu: Right, right.
00:12:27.540 --> 00:12:27.900 Alix Prassas: Bye.
00:12:27.900 --> 00:12:28.769 Mira Brancu: Let's talk about.
00:12:28.770 --> 00:12:30.499 Alix Prassas: You know it's it's on both sides right.
00:12:30.500 --> 00:12:40.870 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. So let's talk about that for a second. You talk a lot about and train others to engage in productive conflict right? And so
00:12:41.260 --> 00:13:01.739 Mira Brancu: steamrolling is not productive conflict right? And you know you mentioned, you want people to push back. But there's there's a way to do it that's productive, and there's a way to do it that's not productive. Can you share a little bit more about how you define productive conflict and what it looks like as different from unhealthy conflict.
00:13:01.740 --> 00:13:20.049 Alix Prassas: Yeah, absolutely. And I think you know, the biggest thing is that, you know. Is it? Is it forward energy? Right? Is this energy that wants to move us forward is this energy that is directed towards truly believing in the mutual goal, truly believing in shared values?
00:13:20.440 --> 00:13:25.569 Alix Prassas: Or is it an instance, where you know someone is so focused on being right.
00:13:25.885 --> 00:13:26.200 Mira Brancu: Know.
00:13:26.200 --> 00:13:55.950 Alix Prassas: Ready to burn everything down. Otherwise. Now we want to make sure we're not making assumptions about particular personalities, because I do see that as well. Right? People will say it's the destructive kind when it's like, Well, are you just kind of putting that on them? Because maybe you heard something about them, or you're making assumptions, or you know they triggered you in some way right. But if we can direct it back to the goal, and I think, asking the question. You know I hear your passion. I love that passion, you know. Can you help me connect the dots
00:13:56.020 --> 00:14:14.330 Alix Prassas: on? You know how this translates to the outcomes. And or, you know, like where you know where this might be coming from, because maybe they just met with a client. And this is actually a huge issue that we're not aware of. Right? So like, let's dig into it a little bit more. So, you know.
00:14:14.330 --> 00:14:30.760 Alix Prassas: when we're thinking about destructive versus productive, you know. Don't jump to conclusions around that, you know. Give it a little bit to understand that right. But I think that's kind of if I'm thinking, you know, that 1st step of really assessing in the moment it is bringing it back to
00:14:30.780 --> 00:14:40.689 Alix Prassas: goals values. What are we all driving towards and making sure you're reading the room right? Making sure the audience, the team right kind of seeing their own reactions
00:14:40.690 --> 00:15:03.859 Alix Prassas: and asking them to engage right? Like, okay, like, what do you think? You know you're hearing both these perspectives? What resonates with you? What are you seeing in your realm of work? You know the clients you're with or the products you work with. You know whatever area of the business they're in, but making sure that you know it's not just 2 people right? As long as everyone's engaged in the dialogue.
00:15:03.900 --> 00:15:07.280 Alix Prassas: Then, you know, you're working towards that productive side.
00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:28.519 Mira Brancu: Great great. We are reaching an ad break when we come back. I want to dig in even further into this healthy versus unhealthy engagement. We are listening. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branku and our guest today, Alex prices we air on Tuesdays at 5 Pm. Eastern. If you're here right now. Hi, you can
00:15:28.590 --> 00:15:41.679 Mira Brancu: definitely find us live streaming right now on Linkedin Youtube, several other locations@talkradio.nyc. And you can ask us questions in real time, and we can answer them in real time. If you'd like. We'll be right back in just a moment.
00:17:53.050 --> 00:18:06.039 Mira Brancu: Welcome. Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Miro Branku and our guest today, Alex prices. So Alex, let's get even more into this healthy versus unhealthy. Because.
00:18:07.330 --> 00:18:08.760 Mira Brancu: you're sharing.
00:18:09.020 --> 00:18:29.030 Mira Brancu: Conflict is healthy. Lack of conflict is unhealthy, and this might be kind of a complete mind. Bend for some people who have been raised to believe that if you minimize conflict, that's a good thing and a lot of leaders lean in
00:18:29.250 --> 00:18:30.220 Mira Brancu: to
00:18:31.350 --> 00:18:59.529 Mira Brancu: Some, you know natural strengths depending on their style of minimizing conflict, smoothing over tensions, maintaining harmony. And they might be like, don't you want to do that like this is why it's so calm right now, and this is why people come to me and trust me. And now you're telling me actually trust, you know greater trust is garnered. If I
00:19:00.020 --> 00:19:08.639 Mira Brancu: let conflict fester, or if I create conflict or add conflict. So what would you say to somebody who might be
00:19:09.421 --> 00:19:12.629 Mira Brancu: stuck with thinking. That
00:19:12.810 --> 00:19:17.260 Mira Brancu: minimizing conflict is the right healthy thing to do.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:29.089 Alix Prassas: Yeah, and it's interesting, because I never. I actually didn't even totally appreciate the value of conflict until I worked at a company that
00:19:29.380 --> 00:19:34.859 Alix Prassas: no conflict right, and they define psychological safety as everyone's nice and cordial with each other.
00:19:34.860 --> 00:19:36.190 Mira Brancu: Right, which.
00:19:36.190 --> 00:19:48.260 Alix Prassas: So everyone knows is not the definition of psychological safety right? It was so interesting, because, you know, my 1st thing was like, Oh, it's so great there's no blame shifting. There's no kind of like you did this. You did that
00:19:48.390 --> 00:19:50.709 Alix Prassas: then I'm there a little bit longer, and I realize.
00:19:50.890 --> 00:20:15.080 Alix Prassas: oh, that's because there's almost no accountability whatsoever like across the board, right? So, you know. And then and then you start to see things like, Oh, no one's really getting like the real feedback right? And then then you start to see. You know, things like people being blindsided by a performance improvement plan, right?
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:33.180 Alix Prassas: And you know. And then thinking about oh, how did that person get promoted? Oh, has anyone had an actual conversation with them? Oh, no, you know, we see that in a lot of organizations, right? But it was especially stark in an organization where everyone was so nice, right.
00:20:33.180 --> 00:20:33.560 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:20:33.862 --> 00:20:50.199 Alix Prassas: And look! There were absolutely great aspects of the culture, and you know I don't want to take away from that. I don't mean. Now everyone go start arguing with each other. Right? Please do not do that. Do not take that out of this right, but I do think what gets missed is
00:20:50.830 --> 00:21:05.420 Alix Prassas: it's kind of that thing with, you know. When we think about why assimilation is not a good thing. It's because we're losing the individual strengths of each person right when everything is about harmony.
00:21:06.270 --> 00:21:10.910 Alix Prassas: Sometimes it's not even conscious the way people will start to just kind of adjust
00:21:11.260 --> 00:21:18.899 Alix Prassas: to whatever you know the kind of norms and behaviors are, and you lose that potential for innovation.
00:21:19.010 --> 00:21:43.642 Alix Prassas: You lose. You know just that that spark in the meetings, and the kind of differing opinions. That again force everyone to grow. So I think I think that's kind of a I think, that really resonated with me when I was in that company. And now, you know, consulting externally, absolutely, seeing that as well.
00:21:44.290 --> 00:21:49.059 Alix Prassas: And I will say, too, I think, with the Harmony piece.
00:21:49.620 --> 00:21:58.079 Alix Prassas: It's you know, I'd love for leaders to continue to reframe Harmony at what cost and what does Harmony actually mean?
00:21:58.390 --> 00:22:18.199 Alix Prassas: Because to some people, you know it might actually be. You know harmony is oh, everyone knows that this is the only way to do it, or harmony is, if it's not broke, don't fix it right. And even beyond the innovation, just from the engagement side of things, from the trust side of things.
00:22:18.380 --> 00:22:24.129 Alix Prassas: right? If people aren't bringing issues up. If people aren't engaging in conflict.
00:22:24.500 --> 00:22:27.189 Alix Prassas: there's little opportunity to build trust
00:22:27.860 --> 00:22:36.460 Alix Prassas: and conflict is actually a fantastic opportunity to build trust. You know, I think about when there are.
00:22:36.680 --> 00:22:44.729 Alix Prassas: you know, conflicts between employees so often. When you think about, you know, just employee relations and organizations. Right?
00:22:45.710 --> 00:23:05.549 Alix Prassas: You know so often. We kind of see it as it needs to be handled in a very particular way. You know, we can't engage with people, and you know this is when we say sorry, or this is when we do this right. But very rarely do we ask the person who, you know, has been harmed in the situation like
00:23:05.820 --> 00:23:10.219 Alix Prassas: what would better look like to you right?
00:23:10.710 --> 00:23:18.460 Alix Prassas: And I can't tell you how many times, when I asked employees that they said it was the 1st time they'd ever been asked, but they actually went out of situation.
00:23:18.610 --> 00:23:21.159 Alix Prassas: and more often than not it was
00:23:21.520 --> 00:23:36.000 Alix Prassas: oh, really just that. I know you heard me because you asked me that question right? And I think it's also validation is not agreement. Right? There's a way to validate people, and where they're coming from
00:23:36.958 --> 00:23:59.990 Alix Prassas: and it doesn't mean that you agree on everything. I think when we think about assume positive intent. That doesn't mean escape accountability, right. It means you go into the conversation believing the other person has your best interests at heart, and even if they don't, that is going to help you going into
00:23:59.990 --> 00:24:19.709 Alix Prassas: the conversation? Right? You're going to have a more productive conversation because you came in with an open, curious, mindset mindset, really assuming that positive intent. So I know I kind of. I gave like several different types of examples, but I hope that was helpful to answer that question.
00:24:19.710 --> 00:24:39.569 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. A couple of thoughts come to mind. You know, a lot of what you're referencing is highly aligned with Patrick Lencioni's artificial harmony. Right and you know, he wrote the book. The 5 dysfunctions of a team, and one of them is when artificial harmony happens.
00:24:40.133 --> 00:24:59.040 Mira Brancu: You know, people get along just to get along. And that is like the main goal, right? And so imagine, if you put in all of your energy, all of your effort to just get along. So you don't create friction and tension whatever. How much energy is not going into actually reaching higher level
00:24:59.080 --> 00:25:09.990 Mira Brancu: results and outcomes things that you can perform at a higher level. Right? And so that is the the risk, the downside and
00:25:10.130 --> 00:25:18.067 Mira Brancu: when artificial harmony happens, it doesn't mean that.
00:25:19.110 --> 00:25:28.120 Mira Brancu: you know. Yes, yes, you're avoiding conflict, but conflict is being suppressed through silence or through
00:25:28.380 --> 00:25:42.040 Mira Brancu: cutting it off before it. It can occur, and that means that you're making it more about you and your discomfort than about what is necessary for the whole team to reach the highest levels of success.
00:25:42.230 --> 00:25:49.290 Mira Brancu: Now, that doesn't mean that we then only focus on results
00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:58.420 Mira Brancu: and under focus on relationships. Both are important for healthy teams. So how do you both hold people accountable.
00:25:58.931 --> 00:26:13.388 Mira Brancu: Hold each other accountable to reaching the highest levels of you know. Success that you can get to high performing teams are happier teams right instead of underperforming teams who feel stagnant like you said and
00:26:13.940 --> 00:26:17.619 Mira Brancu: But how do you do it? In a way that maintains the relationship?
00:26:17.740 --> 00:26:35.959 Mira Brancu: That is kind of the tension that you're that you're getting at and what you're potentially losing out by not allowing some exchange of ideas, even if there's a difference of opinion, and it doesn't mean that differences of opinion are not differences.
00:26:37.550 --> 00:26:53.449 Mira Brancu: where people are insulting each other. Right? That is terrible, unhealthy conflict. It is just not agreeing with an idea, right, which a lot of people, I think, avoid tension, you know, because they they fear
00:26:54.120 --> 00:27:03.200 Mira Brancu: insulting or upsetting or offending, that you don't like their idea. And I'm really curious about that piece from your perspective like.
00:27:03.860 --> 00:27:09.319 Mira Brancu: how do you teach teams to be okay
00:27:09.470 --> 00:27:16.849 Mira Brancu: with the fact that we don't have to agree on the same idea, and we don't have to take it personally. If somebody doesn't agree with our idea.
00:27:17.710 --> 00:27:21.810 Alix Prassas: Yeah. So a couple of things come to mind one of the things you mentioned earlier about.
00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:32.289 Alix Prassas: You know what the disagreement kind of says about each person involved. So I'm sure you're familiar with this. There's a thing called idiosyncratic rater bias.
00:27:32.290 --> 00:27:34.079 Mira Brancu: Oh, I don't know about this. Tell me more.
00:27:34.080 --> 00:27:50.200 Alix Prassas: So this is, and it may be called different things by different publications. But this is actually, I took this from Neural Leadership Institute. Wish I could claim credit, but it really is about in performance reviews. Right?
00:27:50.510 --> 00:27:53.350 Alix Prassas: What a manager is rating an employee
00:27:53.890 --> 00:27:59.959 Alix Prassas: around 60% of it has more to do with the manager than about the employee.
00:28:00.140 --> 00:28:03.529 Alix Prassas: And to me the same thing happens with conflict right?
00:28:03.840 --> 00:28:11.829 Alix Prassas: There may be an instance where in your head you are in a big fight, and the other person has no idea that you even have any conflict.
00:28:12.590 --> 00:28:13.050 Alix Prassas: Yeah.
00:28:13.050 --> 00:28:23.660 Alix Prassas: and at least engaging in conversation. That'll let you know, there is actually no conflict. Right? So I think it's like thinking about that right? And I check myself on that. I'm like.
00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:46.739 Alix Prassas: you know, like, you know, I'm thinking all these things. But hey, like, maybe maybe they're not thinking that at all. Again. I'm making up stories in my head. Let me go. Let me go. Actually ask them. Hey, how did you feel after that meeting? Was there anything you wanted to talk through anything you wish? I would have approached differently, and I think, not agreeing with the idea. The number one thing that comes to mind is we need to stop.
00:28:47.940 --> 00:29:05.059 Alix Prassas: I always want people to get credit for their ideas. And and, as we know, the research tells us, right, women often get, you know, like the man says, their idea. And suddenly, it's a great idea. So I'm not saying that no one gets any credit, but I think we hold too much value on that one like
00:29:05.180 --> 00:29:13.120 Alix Prassas: who whoever's idea it was, gets like all the awards and and all the recognition, when really every idea is better through the team.
00:29:13.120 --> 00:29:13.470 Mira Brancu: I mean.
00:29:13.470 --> 00:29:27.480 Alix Prassas: If I had that. I you know, if I had that idea, it probably came from many different sources, right? It probably built on something the team was talking about. Right? So I think when we value who said that idea too much?
00:29:27.620 --> 00:29:32.999 Alix Prassas: That's where we get into, you know, venture more easily into that unhealthy conflict.
00:29:33.360 --> 00:29:56.520 Mira Brancu: Oh, yes, yes, that's a great one, and perfect to end on before we get into the next ad break. You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branco and Alex Prasis. We air it on Tuesdays, at 5 Pm. Eastern. You can find us live streaming on Youtube and Linkedin and other places through Talkradio, dot Nyc. If you're searching for us right now, and we'll be right back in just a moment.
00:31:56.990 --> 00:32:04.540 Mira Brancu: Welcome. Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branku and our guest today, Alex Prasis. So, Alex.
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:18.739 Mira Brancu: have you seen signs of like what teams demonstrate when they're actively growing through tension.
00:32:18.850 --> 00:32:33.550 Mira Brancu: And what signs do you see when they don't seem to be able to make this
00:32:33.860 --> 00:32:40.920 Mira Brancu: sort of adjustment or breakthrough? What? What differentiates the ones who grow through tension from those who crumble.
00:32:42.570 --> 00:32:47.410 Alix Prassas: Yeah, you know it. It looks different in every organization.
00:32:48.210 --> 00:32:55.540 Alix Prassas: I will say so if I'm just an observer in the room right? It's seeing people.
00:32:55.980 --> 00:33:03.129 Alix Prassas: especially the people that you know are not as outspoken, but they're more comfortable with speaking up and sharing a different idea. I think.
00:33:03.130 --> 00:33:03.529 Mira Brancu: You know, just.
00:33:03.530 --> 00:33:12.069 Alix Prassas: Seeing that type of growth, you know. Obviously, you can survey about anything. So you know, you can absolutely ask questions related to that.
00:33:12.712 --> 00:33:17.580 Alix Prassas: I think it's about. You know the leadership behaviors in practice.
00:33:17.810 --> 00:33:28.087 Alix Prassas: is it? You know? Are they at a point where it's just like a habit for the leader to ask, What are we not thinking about, you know? Can you give me your perspective?
00:33:28.570 --> 00:33:32.220 Alix Prassas: And really thinking from an inclusive lens with meetings?
00:33:32.390 --> 00:33:55.007 Alix Prassas: Right. So are they giving a, you know, a full agenda ahead of time? Are there enough, you know, collaborative spaces for people to communicate? In the meantime. How much are people spending the time to build connection with each other? That's such a key piece of trust.
00:33:55.600 --> 00:34:08.550 Alix Prassas: you know, for instance, anytime, you know you're in more of a difficult conversation, especially if you don't know the person as well like. Make sure that you are connecting 1st and foremost, and working towards that connection.
00:34:09.165 --> 00:34:19.039 Alix Prassas: I think that's extremely important. You know it speaks to trust right. How can I trust you if I don't have any connection to you.
00:34:19.370 --> 00:34:31.809 Alix Prassas: I think on the other side of things right. It is the meetings where no one talks up. It's the meetings where kind of. No one really knows the point of the meeting. It's
00:34:32.420 --> 00:34:55.570 Alix Prassas: you know. It's not necessarily people, you know. It's not people, you know, that you can hear yelling across the room by any means, which I think is what a lot of people think when they think of like unhealthy approaches. But it is like, are we just continuing to coast? And we don't have any different ideas. We aren't rewarding the behaviors that, you know, Foster that productive conflict.
00:34:55.860 --> 00:35:01.349 Alix Prassas: our turnover? Are we really digging into the root cause of our turnover?
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:10.829 Alix Prassas: Do we dig in on those exit interviews? Right? Are we taking? Oh, it's compensation at face value. It's never about just compensation.
00:35:11.420 --> 00:35:17.159 Alix Prassas: Compensation could be a huge piece. But when people talk about that, it's ultimately.
00:35:17.610 --> 00:35:21.610 Alix Prassas: most often they feel they're not being paid what they're worth.
00:35:21.910 --> 00:35:38.650 Alix Prassas: Right? They feel like they're not being paid fairly. And anytime someone leaves and a leader is blindsided. That is absolutely an indication that they were not having the right conversations ahead of time. So those are some of the biggest things that come to mind with that question.
00:35:38.650 --> 00:35:48.420 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah, that's great. Okay, I'm gonna ask you a really challenging question, although I don't think it's going to be that challenging for you. But So
00:35:48.780 --> 00:35:51.199 Mira Brancu: one thing that's coming to mind is
00:35:53.540 --> 00:35:58.319 Mira Brancu: Let's say a leader says, Okay, I'm
00:35:58.440 --> 00:36:12.699 Mira Brancu: I'm gonna lean into creating a psychologically safe environment for people to share their ideas. I get it. I'm gonna allow quote unquote conflict, right? And tension.
00:36:13.020 --> 00:36:22.969 Mira Brancu: And one of the myths, I think is, if I open up
00:36:23.320 --> 00:36:26.510 Mira Brancu: opportunities for feedback, that is sufficient.
00:36:27.340 --> 00:36:30.400 Mira Brancu: And one of the things that drives
00:36:30.820 --> 00:36:39.750 Mira Brancu: me crazy. And I think a lot of people crazy is the constant
00:36:40.040 --> 00:36:50.250 Mira Brancu: excessive feedback giving opportunities with nothing to show for it except a constant return to more discussion
00:36:50.470 --> 00:36:55.192 Mira Brancu: about getting feedback. And so.
00:36:56.260 --> 00:37:01.790 Mira Brancu: I don't think that's enough right. I don't think that is enough. Quote unquote conflict.
00:37:02.802 --> 00:37:09.949 Mira Brancu: To yield growth in the way that you're describing. So what's missing, and
00:37:10.050 --> 00:37:15.370 Mira Brancu: what adjustments would you recommend to
00:37:15.920 --> 00:37:21.320 Mira Brancu: leaders that have leaned into opening it up for feedback? But that's where they stopped.
00:37:22.550 --> 00:37:39.829 Alix Prassas: Yeah. And the 1st thing that comes to mind of what's missing is trust. Right? So I think, I don't know if we mentioned this earlier. But my dissertation focus is actually on building trust in diverse teams. And before we can even get to
00:37:39.960 --> 00:37:45.480 Alix Prassas: give me feedback, you know, like, let's build a connection. First, st
00:37:45.940 --> 00:37:59.269 Alix Prassas: let's understand where each person is coming from, because then also, not only will that person feel more comfortable, but they'll know where you're coming from, and therefore can give more substantive and specific feedback. Right
00:38:00.120 --> 00:38:03.480 Alix Prassas: and foremost have you built the trust?
00:38:03.960 --> 00:38:12.519 Alix Prassas: And what's interesting is, I would love to sit up here and tell you the research my experience. Oh, yeah, here's this, one. Size fits all for building trust.
00:38:14.060 --> 00:38:17.700 Alix Prassas: Because people have different dispositions to trust
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:22.640 Alix Prassas: I am someone who just naturally trusts people until you give me a reason not to.
00:38:22.790 --> 00:38:38.209 Alix Prassas: But there's plenty of people right? You feel like, no, you have to earn my trust, and neither is better than the other. Right? It is just natural, you know, dispositions to trust, but I think that's something to keep in mind, and you know, respect either perspective.
00:38:39.036 --> 00:38:46.169 Alix Prassas: I think it is making sure that you know you are when you're thinking about feedback for them.
00:38:48.520 --> 00:38:56.150 Alix Prassas: How much space are you giving them? How much consideration are you giving them?
00:38:56.600 --> 00:38:57.920 Alix Prassas: And
00:38:58.160 --> 00:39:06.459 Alix Prassas: for me, when I think about? I know I just have very strong perspectives on things. And so if I have a team member.
00:39:07.810 --> 00:39:13.359 Alix Prassas: if I you know, if I have feedback, I'm not going to give it until someone else says that same feedback
00:39:13.670 --> 00:39:17.740 Alix Prassas: because it could just be that like, I just like things a certain way.
00:39:18.360 --> 00:39:26.010 Alix Prassas: So I think that's really key, right? Like, have you? Have you given enough consideration to the feedback that you are giving them
00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:28.179 Alix Prassas: on top of that?
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:31.360 Alix Prassas: How are you delivering their feedback?
00:39:31.580 --> 00:39:52.219 Alix Prassas: Are you delivering in a constructive way, and I don't mean just the constructive feedback. I also mean the positive feedback. If all you're giving is great job all day, every day. That's not helpful. You might as well not be giving them any feedback. Right? Because and that's actually what studies show is that what we're the worst at is actually positive feedback.
00:39:52.670 --> 00:40:03.130 Alix Prassas: It was written about a long time ago, I think, called like the Feedback Fallacy, right where we just we do not articulate excellence. Well, and what happens with that with the feedback is that
00:40:03.390 --> 00:40:07.799 Alix Prassas: people will think, okay, they said, great job. It must be this thing I did
00:40:08.140 --> 00:40:13.580 Alix Prassas: when really you're speaking to a whole other aspect of how they ran that meeting.
00:40:13.780 --> 00:40:33.399 Alix Prassas: and in their quest to improve they lose that because they think you were talking about this other thing that they were doing right. So being very specific, direct. So I think that 1st and foremost role modeling that right and make sure that you are using whatever feedback framework your organization uses
00:40:33.870 --> 00:40:42.059 Alix Prassas: be the one role modeling that right be the one role modeling. However, your organization articulates what their values mean in practice.
00:40:42.290 --> 00:40:56.099 Alix Prassas: and that should be. And if you have a competency model that should really just be the values in practice, right? That should all align you know. So making sure that you're role modeling that. So that's kind of all leading up to before you can ever even ask.
00:40:57.030 --> 00:40:58.550 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah.
00:40:59.060 --> 00:41:04.849 Alix Prassas: I think the other thing with asking for feedback, and most especially when you are in the position of power.
00:41:05.270 --> 00:41:07.290 Alix Prassas: is owning your reaction.
00:41:08.090 --> 00:41:08.570 Mira Brancu: Yes.
00:41:09.660 --> 00:41:13.749 Alix Prassas: You know there's there's a great saying. Don't ask questions. You don't want the answer to.
00:41:13.880 --> 00:41:14.500 Mira Brancu: Right.
00:41:14.850 --> 00:41:17.999 Alix Prassas: Only ask it if you are in a place to hear it
00:41:19.100 --> 00:41:23.409 Alix Prassas: right like, make sure you are in a mindset. You're gonna take in what they're saying.
00:41:24.130 --> 00:41:28.060 Alix Prassas: and it's not going to. You're not going to jump to. Well, this is why.
00:41:28.990 --> 00:41:39.110 Alix Prassas: if they say you know, I'd love to hear why, sure. But if they don't, you have to take that in and also make sure you're asking clarifying questions.
00:41:39.310 --> 00:41:45.960 Alix Prassas: just like you would hope they would do, you know, and I hope you're encouraging them to ask clarifying questions on feedback.
00:41:46.220 --> 00:42:09.890 Alix Prassas: Make sure you're really digging into. Okay, tell me more. You know what was the, you know. Specific situation? You know. What was that broader impact that I didn't see? You know. How do you see this impacting the team overall. And that's where to. When we think about large scale change. That's why we talked about the influencers, the change champions so much
00:42:10.030 --> 00:42:21.669 Alix Prassas: right? Because they can have such a big impact because your team member may be the person that everyone goes to. Right. So it's really important that you are digging into that feedback and opening up that space.
00:42:22.181 --> 00:42:41.290 Alix Prassas: You know, I think there's no kind of to me asking the question about feedback should be authentic to you. You know how you ask it. You know the way you go about it, but it should only ever be when you've established a relationship. And I think also, having ground rules in all your meetings.
00:42:41.500 --> 00:42:48.510 Alix Prassas: having kind of, you know, talking through with the team, them setting the tone around your working norms, your processes.
00:42:48.920 --> 00:42:57.290 Alix Prassas: and you know, the more you can refer back to that, and the more you can revisit that when you have someone new and you can talk about what's working what's not working.
00:42:57.420 --> 00:43:00.840 Alix Prassas: And again, when they bring up criticisms
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:16.080 Alix Prassas: owning your reaction like, I'm a super expressive person. So I have to make sure that I'm turning that off for a little bit, or if you know, if it slips out just saying I'm so sorry I didn't mean that, you know. Please tell me more. I am genuinely curious.
00:43:16.484 --> 00:43:22.659 Alix Prassas: So those are the biggest things that come to mind when it comes to leaders really getting the feedback they're seeking.
00:43:22.660 --> 00:43:32.809 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I love that so pre feedback, you need to establish enough trust for people to actually give you the right feedback during feedback.
00:43:32.930 --> 00:43:36.847 Mira Brancu: You need to ask for clarifying.
00:43:37.630 --> 00:43:47.859 Mira Brancu: you know, in information, the specifics so get specific in order to get accurate about how how to take the feedback what to do with it.
00:43:48.120 --> 00:43:49.699 Mira Brancu: And I'm going to add
00:43:50.605 --> 00:44:04.789 Mira Brancu: post feedback right? Within the the Va the way that we measure psychological safety was by asking not one question, but 2. 1 is
00:44:05.272 --> 00:44:12.359 Mira Brancu: do you say? Feel safe speaking up about concerns? That's what we know to be psychological
00:44:12.848 --> 00:44:33.209 Mira Brancu: safety. But the second is not just. Do you feel safe speaking up? It's also, is it worth it to speak up when you do? Because a lot of people feel safe speaking up. But maybe they decide. Forget it. It's not worth it, because they're not going to do anything, because every time I give feedback. Nothing happens. So post feedback.
00:44:34.460 --> 00:44:37.800 Mira Brancu: you've got to have a closed feedback loop
00:44:37.950 --> 00:44:47.610 Mira Brancu: come back to it, even if, like you've taken care of it. No one will know if you haven't followed up and said I did that thing you gave me feedback about
00:44:47.830 --> 00:44:59.429 Mira Brancu: and ask for you know, like, input did you see it? Is there something more? How is it impacting you? So
00:44:59.970 --> 00:45:13.612 Mira Brancu: do the thing. If you're gonna ask for feedback, do something with it, and then come back and communicate what you did with the thing, or and or track it so that everybody knows you're tracking the thing that was just asked about.
00:45:13.930 --> 00:45:28.759 Alix Prassas: Yeah. And quickly, I would just say that. You know that example I gave earlier about, how would you like this situation to be remedied. It's it's that follow up right that so often, when someone reports a situation talks about a situation they just never hear about it again.
00:45:28.760 --> 00:45:29.370 Mira Brancu: That's right.
00:45:29.370 --> 00:45:32.110 Alix Prassas: I'll see that person around. They assume nothing happened.
00:45:32.110 --> 00:45:32.620 Mira Brancu: That's right.
00:45:32.620 --> 00:45:53.300 Alix Prassas: It is, you know, obviously within kind of confidentiality bounds, but it is following up, and it is to your point, right calling out. This was in connection like we did this in connection to exactly what you said, and asking them to hold you accountable. You could even do something like, you know I want you to in the chat. Put Red Flag. If I do that thing again.
00:45:53.300 --> 00:46:11.530 Alix Prassas: or, you know, make it a game almost right where it becomes like a thing where it's like, okay, you know what I'm not showing up as my best self for the team. Let me, you know. Let me make it. Let me kind of re redirect the course, and I think bring some of that levity can also help making people feel more comfortable as well.
00:46:11.530 --> 00:46:23.290 Mira Brancu: Yeah. Yeah. So I think what I'm pulling from this conversation is the conflict is not the point. The point is that the only way
00:46:23.600 --> 00:46:31.010 Mira Brancu: to see change that people want to see that helps us all grow is that you're
00:46:31.260 --> 00:46:36.689 Mira Brancu: asking for? Input you're listening to the input and there's follow up to the input. And the only way that can happen
00:46:36.910 --> 00:46:46.550 Mira Brancu: is what people label conflict, but is actually important. Meaningful conversation about what's not going right and what needs to change.
00:46:47.490 --> 00:46:57.419 Mira Brancu: Okay, you're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Amira Branco and our guest today, Alex prices. We're reaching an ad break, and we'll be right back in just a moment.
00:49:16.620 --> 00:49:24.090 Mira Brancu: Welcome. Welcome back to the hard skills with me. Dr. Mira Bronchu and our guest today, Alex Prasis and I can't
00:49:24.310 --> 00:49:35.190 Mira Brancu: believe how quickly time has flown. We only have time for maybe one last question. So I'm gonna take it real big picture here. A lot of people right now are feeling
00:49:35.460 --> 00:49:41.990 Mira Brancu: exhausted by all the change, all the conflict, all the drama, all the things right.
00:49:42.190 --> 00:49:48.580 Mira Brancu: So you know, at it. At some point they do crave
00:49:49.430 --> 00:50:01.769 Mira Brancu: calm from the chaos and they don't necessarily always want to engage in more change, more growth, that kind of thing.
00:50:02.170 --> 00:50:11.479 Mira Brancu: How do we help people stay engaged as problem solvers who can navigate complexity.
00:50:11.720 --> 00:50:20.860 Mira Brancu: while also, acknowledging the exhaustion that comes with that kind of engagement.
00:50:21.350 --> 00:50:36.119 Alix Prassas: Yeah, I mean, I think you know, 1st and foremost, acknowledging that people are exhausted, acknowledging there's a lot of change, you know, and making sure that you're always pointing back to the why? Because there are some times where leaders take a step back and realize.
00:50:36.230 --> 00:50:47.940 Alix Prassas: Oh, yeah, I don't know why we're pushing this change forward. That's a great point. Everyone is exhausted, right? So it's also kind of that checkpoint, right? You know, especially when it comes to large transformations. I think a big thing is
00:50:48.470 --> 00:51:04.820 Alix Prassas: in order to kind of reframe the mindset around it, you know. Let's start using different language, right? So you know, instead of let's find the middle ground, which you know, because people oh, we need to compromise, or, you know, kind of negotiated
00:51:04.820 --> 00:51:27.300 Alix Prassas: to me. Collaboration is. Actually, it's not diluting anything. It's actually fully realizing kind of multiple ideas together to get to the best idea. Right? So you know, it's more about, we need, you know, getting to alignment right? You know, instead of saying, Oh, this conflict is just slowing us down. It's.
00:51:27.400 --> 00:51:42.957 Alix Prassas: you know, we actually, we do need to understand what each priority serves. To be honest, you know I'm not in the day to day on that side of the business. So it's actually really crucial that we take a minute to hear what's what you're what they're hearing, what's going on on that side?
00:51:43.270 --> 00:51:59.270 Alix Prassas: you know. Another big one is you know. Let's you know, it's parking lot, this disagreement, right? Or you know, we can't move forward until everyone agrees when really it's more about tension shows us where the clarity is needed.
00:52:00.040 --> 00:52:11.500 Alix Prassas: you know, and if and if everyone can just kind of think about what's on the other side, what's on the other side, you know, and then also getting back to the shared values, the mutual goals
00:52:12.200 --> 00:52:16.589 Alix Prassas: that all of that said, none of this has to happen that minute.
00:52:17.010 --> 00:52:22.359 Alix Prassas: Right? You know there may be situations where you don't have all the information.
00:52:22.660 --> 00:52:49.339 Alix Prassas: So you know, it's not necessarily parking, lotting, you know the disagreement, but rather you know what? That's a great point. I do want to make sure that we're exploring this a little more fully. Why don't we do that? Come back, you know. Maybe it's even each person takes a little bit of, you know, assignment of research, right? Like, okay, I'm gonna come back. I'm gonna look into what's going on in this department. And again, that will always lead to that better solution.
00:52:49.430 --> 00:53:04.300 Alix Prassas: And I think that continuous connection building that's also going to be that opportunities the opportunity for leaders to check in on what people believe their priorities to be and talk through that, because so often conflict happens from.
00:53:04.790 --> 00:53:27.240 Alix Prassas: you know, believing we have different. You know, prioritization of, you know the tasks that we're doing. Some people believe. Nope, this is top priority. Other people believe it's not that can happen a lot. That's that. You know, that task conflict that often comes up when we're thinking about different types of conflict. So that would be the biggest thing, you know, keeping that pulse on, you know, the employees.
00:53:27.350 --> 00:53:44.020 Alix Prassas: continuous connection being transparent, acknowledging what's going on being vulnerable. But staying steadfast and building habits and putting those norms into the meetings. So it doesn't feel like extra work.
00:53:44.280 --> 00:53:48.570 Alix Prassas: It's just soon people will probably even say, Oh, I didn't even realize we had a disagreement.
00:53:48.753 --> 00:53:49.120 Mira Brancu: You know.
00:53:49.120 --> 00:53:55.040 Alix Prassas: Like if someone was observing, they're like, Oh, I love how you worked through seeing this from different sides.
00:53:55.360 --> 00:54:08.429 Alix Prassas: And you're at the point where it's like, oh, I didn't realize that was a conflict right? Like that's that's the other side you want to get to. That actually makes all the work that much more efficient and makes everyone's lives easier.
00:54:08.430 --> 00:54:27.129 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I'm going to pull out a number of things that you brought up that I think are worth highlighting because it really is connected to endurance and leadership, which is, you know, the topic of the season. And one is that
00:54:28.700 --> 00:54:34.159 Mira Brancu: conflict doesn't mean we are requiring
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:49.202 Mira Brancu: innovation and change in the way that we often think. Sometimes it's just checking in. Are we on track? Are people exhausted? Are people burned out? Do we need to adjust. Do we need to? You know?
00:54:49.710 --> 00:55:00.886 Mira Brancu: that is engaging and productive conflict because you're checking in with people. And it's going back to that feedback discussion that we had. The second is that
00:55:01.880 --> 00:55:13.569 Mira Brancu: remaining, you know, steadfast placing down habits around this norms. All of this allows a team to slow down
00:55:13.940 --> 00:55:18.019 Mira Brancu: and not sort of
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:37.030 Mira Brancu: be constantly putting out small fires nonstop and not paying attention to what's important. And instead, it helps them be more strategic and intentional because they're questioning. They're thinking they're engaging. They're getting feedback from each other, and that helps you. Wonder like.
00:55:37.410 --> 00:55:50.779 Mira Brancu: is it too much? Is this the right direction. Which way should we be going? And again, it kind of just goes back to the way that we've been defining conflict
00:55:50.930 --> 00:55:56.360 Mira Brancu: is kind of a negative thing. And instead, it's really about the check-ins
00:55:56.440 --> 00:56:26.370 Mira Brancu: and taking people, you know, seriously and being open about getting information that you might be missing because we're making assumptions. So that's what I got out of it. Audience, I am wondering what you all got out of our talk today from Alex and also on Linkedin. We have a discussion that has already started in response to us posting about this discussion.
00:56:26.550 --> 00:56:47.479 Mira Brancu: And it's all about the gap between knowing that we need to engage in this, and actually being able to practice it. So for those of you who want to continue engaging in this discussion, come, join us on Linkedin. We will continue having that chat there, Alex. If people want to work with you and learn more about your work, where can they find you?
00:56:48.060 --> 00:57:12.510 Alix Prassas: Yeah. So do you want to quickly mention you mentioned the check-ins right? So often. The biggest conflicts coming come from not having the same interpretation of the goal. Right? The mutual goal. So that's why it really is. Check-ins. Are we all on the same page with what our goal is here, so feel free to add me on Linkedin Alexandra, A. LEXA NDRA. Process Pra. Ssa. S.
00:57:12.510 --> 00:57:28.100 Alix Prassas: Would love to engage. I do a weekly Tuesday trust take. And you know, I just I really love talking about that bridge between research and business.
00:57:28.658 --> 00:57:31.240 Alix Prassas: You know more than the individual like.
00:57:31.560 --> 00:57:52.990 Alix Prassas: just because you know how to do something, because we need to know how to apply it. I think businesses can be kind of the biggest, you know the biggest people perpetuating that? Right? So it is, you know, how do we actually take that research and bring it to the day to day? So love discussing that that's kind of where my posts lie, so feel free to reach out to me.
00:57:52.990 --> 00:58:15.650 Mira Brancu: Awesome. Well, thank you, Alex, for spending time with us today. If you like. This episode, share it with us, share it with other people where you can find us also on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, twitch, apple, spotify Amazon podcasts all over the place, share it with other people, and leave a review so that it can get more visibility.
00:58:15.900 --> 00:58:42.759 Mira Brancu: Thank you to talkradio Dot, Nyc. For hosting together. We will navigate the complexities of leadership and emerge stronger on the other side, as Alex clearly described. For you. Thank you for joining me and Alexandra Process today on this journey. This is Dr. Mayor Branco, signing off until next time. Stay steady, stay present, and keep building those hard skills. Muscles. Take care, everybody.
00:58:43.400 --> 00:58:43.870 Alix Prassas: Thank you.
Talking Alternative Broadcasting
392 Central Park West Suite 17R - New York, NY 10025
Privacy Policy · Terms & Conditions
Thank You for Visiting TALKRADIO.NYC © 2022.
