You should watch this episode because Emotional Intelligence is the real game-changer…at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Whether you're leading a team, navigating tough conversations, or just trying to stay cool under pressure, mastering EQ helps you connect better, lead smarter, and live with more intention. In just one episode, you’ll walk away with fresh insight, practical tools, and a few laughs served up with your favorite cocktail.
Pour yourself something smooth and join Bruce, Angie, and Dr. D as they shake (not stir) things up with a splash of Emotional Intelligence. In this episode, we unpack the basics of EQ…what it is, why it matters, and how it fuels better leadership, relationships, and results. It’s your first sip into the world of emotional savvy and it’s as refreshing as your favorite cocktail…The Old Fashion!
Ingredients:
• 2 oz Bourbon or Rye Whiskey
• 1 Sugar Cube (or 1/2 tsp simple syrup)
• 2–3 dashes Angostura Bitters
• Few dashes plain water
• Orange twist (for garnish)
• Optional: cherry garnish
Instructions:
1. Place the sugar cube in a rocks glass.
2. Add bitters and a splash of water. Muddle until sugar dissolves.
3. Fill the glass with a large ice cube or two.
4. Pour in whiskey and gently stir.
5. Express an orange twist over the glass, drop it in, and optionally add a cherry.
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In the first segment of Serving Up Success with a Splash, the hosts introduce the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ), emphasizing its critical role in personal and professional success. They explain that EQ involves understanding and managing one's emotions while also recognizing and influencing others' emotions, with studies suggesting it may be a better predictor of success than IQ. The conversation highlights how EQ can foster better communication, conflict resolution, and adaptability in business, stressing its importance for leadership and decision-making.
In this segment, the hosts dive deeper into the concept of emotional intelligence (EQ), focusing on Daniel Goleman's five core components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. They discuss how these ingredients impact personal and professional growth, with each host reflecting on which areas they excel in and which need improvement. The conversation highlights how vulnerability, self-reflection, and continuous learning are key to developing these skills and enhancing one's leadership abilities.
In this segment, the hosts discuss the impact of emotional intelligence (EQ) on both professional and personal lives. They emphasize that EQ is crucial not only in the workplace but also in relationships and family dynamics, where self-regulation and empathy can prevent conflicts and foster collaboration. Each host shares personal insights into their EQ strengths and challenges, highlighting tools they’ve used for growth, such as feedback, journaling, and meditation, while recognizing that emotional intelligence is an ongoing process that requires continuous effort and reflection.
In the final segment of Serving Up Success with a Splash, the hosts discuss a thought-provoking exercise on handling situations where a colleague takes credit for your work. Angie reflects on how she would have reacted 20 years ago—angrily stewing in silence and venting afterward—but now approaches such situations with calm, addressing the issue assertively without creating conflict. Bruce shares his journey from confronting the person directly to now handling such situations with empathy and patience, understanding the motivations behind the actions, and seeking resolution privately while maintaining professionalism. The segment ends with a call to action for listeners to practice emotional awareness by identifying and reflecting on their emotions and their triggers
00:00:45.190 --> 00:00:46.970 Bruce Cramer: Welcome, everybody!
00:00:46.970 --> 00:00:47.400 Angie Snowball: Welcome, to.
00:00:47.400 --> 00:00:59.110 Bruce Cramer: Serving up success with a splash, where we mix leadership lessons with a twist of fun, a little dash of insight, and a whole lot of heart.
00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:07.860 Bruce Cramer: I'm Bruce Kramer, known as the corporate cockroach, and I'm joined by 2 of my brilliant co-hosts.
00:01:09.530 --> 00:01:13.360 Angie Snowball: That's us. It's me, Angie Snowball, the Renaissance woman.
00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:24.649 nawtej dosanjh: And that's also me. Yeah, absolutely. I'm and I'm the strategy doctor. That was seamless guys. Well done. Yeah. Great, great. Not.
00:01:25.720 --> 00:01:27.450 Angie Snowball: Think about it. He's like, I don't know.
00:01:27.450 --> 00:01:29.050 nawtej dosanjh: We nailed that.
00:01:31.090 --> 00:01:52.500 Bruce Cramer: Well, well, today, we're going to be talking about emotional intelligence. And today is just the introduction. We're planning to do multiple episodes on this just like with our AI content. But, as we call today's episode, we call it Eq. On the rocks. So, Angie, what are we drinking.
00:01:53.800 --> 00:02:16.170 Angie Snowball: Well, since we're sipping right, we're going to do a classic old fashioned. And what you're going to do is you're going to have 2 shots of Bourbon, you can tell we like it in our family a lot. It's nearly empty, but I've got enough for my old fashioned so 2 shots of Bourbon, and then you're going to take a dash of some bitters. The recipe we gave you has
00:02:16.170 --> 00:02:28.130 Angie Snowball: Angostura. I don't even know how to say it. But orange bitters works just as well. You just kind of dash some of that in there the sugar cube, or if you don't have those, you take a little dash of simple syrup.
00:02:28.330 --> 00:02:36.780 Angie Snowball: mix that sucker up, put it over ice, drop in an orange and a cherry, and sip away cheers.
00:02:37.570 --> 00:02:49.540 Bruce Cramer: Cheers everyone. By the way, thank you all for joining. As we mentioned in each episode, we continue to see our viewership grow, and we couldn't be more grateful. So thank you.
00:02:49.790 --> 00:02:58.329 Bruce Cramer: All right. So let's get down to business, emotional intelligence, or, as it's referred to in the industry, as Eq.
00:02:58.790 --> 00:03:09.740 Bruce Cramer: Put simply, it's the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your very own emotions and
00:03:10.050 --> 00:03:17.340 Bruce Cramer: to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.
00:03:17.590 --> 00:03:26.009 Bruce Cramer: So this is a real game changer, whether you're at home work at home, you know, or everywhere in between.
00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:34.619 Bruce Cramer: Now, it's not just about being nice. It's about being aware, intentional and adaptable.
00:03:35.190 --> 00:03:54.260 Bruce Cramer: and you know and here's the real kicker. There's a lot been published that Eq. Can be a better predictor of success than IQ. Can be. So let me repeat that Eq. Can be a better indicator of success
00:03:54.490 --> 00:04:07.240 Bruce Cramer: than IQ. So that's important to remember. So think of Eq. As your secret sauce in the cocktail of success without it you're going to fall flat.
00:04:07.490 --> 00:04:11.590 Bruce Cramer: So what I'd like to do is Angie. What does it mean to you?
00:04:13.890 --> 00:04:19.299 Angie Snowball: So I think it's it's being emotionally intelligent, it's being. Listen. And
00:04:19.410 --> 00:04:34.060 Angie Snowball: to other people, you know all the stuff we talked about before being a good listener so that you can listen to understand, not to respond. And that way you learn about everything around you. And then you can use other skills like the empathy and things like that. To
00:04:34.070 --> 00:04:54.309 Angie Snowball: take all the emotion out of business deals so that you can talk to each other effectively and efficiently, and conflict resolution comes from Eq. The really important crap is that, and that they don't teach in school, which is really sad. Right? So that's what emotional intelligence. Eq. Is emotional intelligence to me. How about you, Dr. D.
00:04:55.660 --> 00:04:56.570 Angie Snowball: Like that name?
00:04:56.570 --> 00:05:13.000 nawtej dosanjh: Guys. It's a lot of thanks. Angie. It's a lot of things. I'll pick. I'll pick on a few themes. Big subject, love the subject, and you're just picking on one of the themes you talked about. It's not taught taught at schools
00:05:13.450 --> 00:05:21.770 nawtej dosanjh: which to me is scandalous, because it is something you can learn. It is something you can practice.
00:05:21.890 --> 00:05:23.199 nawtej dosanjh: This isn't
00:05:23.776 --> 00:05:46.040 nawtej dosanjh: this isn't something which is beyond people. Everybody can get to a good level with Eq. Absolutely everybody. I want to return to one of the things, Bruce said. You know, being aware of your feelings and and the feelings of others around you. I always say it's that
00:05:46.510 --> 00:05:50.660 nawtej dosanjh: people always know what they're feeling.
00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:55.520 nawtej dosanjh: but they don't always know why they're feeling that.
00:05:56.600 --> 00:06:01.040 nawtej dosanjh: Yeah. Have you ever been down, or angry, or upset.
00:06:01.340 --> 00:06:04.399 nawtej dosanjh: and you felt those feelings. You knew you felt those feelings.
00:06:04.510 --> 00:06:07.070 nawtej dosanjh: but you didn't really know why
00:06:08.190 --> 00:06:14.339 nawtej dosanjh: you hadn't. You hadn't made the effort to examine. I certainly have been there when I haven't examined
00:06:15.023 --> 00:06:17.919 nawtej dosanjh: those feelings, and to try to understand
00:06:18.491 --> 00:06:22.020 nawtej dosanjh: where those where those feelings were coming from.
00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:29.669 nawtej dosanjh: So this that that in itself is a is a big big topic. Another couple of things I want to pick up on
00:06:30.551 --> 00:06:52.279 nawtej dosanjh: if you've got Eq. You really strive to control your thoughts. Now, that may seem that may seem intuitively that may. That may seem wrong, but is it. Let's think about this. Let's just unpack that and examine that. You strive to control your thoughts. Well, we get, we get. We all get humans get random thoughts.
00:06:53.160 --> 00:06:55.999 nawtej dosanjh: Okay, how many times have you had phones this week?
00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:57.160 Angie Snowball: That goes in my head.
00:06:57.410 --> 00:07:00.440 nawtej dosanjh: Well put put point taken absolutely
00:07:01.130 --> 00:07:09.879 nawtej dosanjh: times just this week. Have you guys had thoughts where your 1st thoughts turned out to be wrong?
00:07:10.510 --> 00:07:11.456 nawtej dosanjh: Negative thoughts,
00:07:13.070 --> 00:07:18.150 nawtej dosanjh: Me, too. I allowed those thoughts to enter, and they turned out to be wrong 24 h later.
00:07:18.770 --> 00:07:30.490 nawtej dosanjh: Okay, I had the good grace to apologize, but those thoughts were wrong. So what if I hadn't let those negative wrong thoughts enter my into? You know what if I had controlled them
00:07:30.690 --> 00:07:35.540 nawtej dosanjh: so Eq. Is about part of Eq. Is about controlling your your thoughts.
00:07:36.152 --> 00:07:45.799 nawtej dosanjh: A big thing I want to say about Eq. And it's allied to to controlling your thoughts is emotional sabotage.
00:07:46.220 --> 00:07:47.640 nawtej dosanjh: self sabotage.
00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:49.170 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:07:49.990 --> 00:07:54.829 nawtej dosanjh: Talk to me, Bruce Bruce, talk to me about emotional self sabotage!
00:07:55.190 --> 00:07:57.070 nawtej dosanjh: Talk to me.
00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:03.350 Bruce Cramer: Well it, you know I think of you know I was just
00:08:04.100 --> 00:08:10.790 Bruce Cramer: You know I was just with one of my clients this morning, and we had a discussion around the imposter syndrome.
00:08:10.820 --> 00:08:32.189 Bruce Cramer: You know where you have those moments where you just don't think you're good enough, and you have these voices talking to you, saying, You know God, you know I highly doubt. I'm as good as they say I am, or you have a lot of self doubt about? Am I really as good as I think I am?
00:08:32.190 --> 00:08:50.779 Bruce Cramer: And so these voices actually sabotage and cause you to freeze up and not necessarily take action. It kind of instills a sense of fear in you. And so that's when I think about self sabotage. It's when those negative thoughts you start having conversations with yourself
00:08:50.840 --> 00:08:59.080 Bruce Cramer: that dwell on kind of you know the negative as to what what you believe or are thinking.
00:09:00.080 --> 00:09:01.749 nawtej dosanjh: Bruce to Bruce, both of you.
00:09:03.460 --> 00:09:18.999 Angie Snowball: I. We got a question real quick. I know we usually put them to the end, but I think this one's important. So a friend of mine who shall remain anonymous, said, What the hell is? Eq. I thought it was social skills. So Eq. Actually stands for emotional quotient.
00:09:19.120 --> 00:09:34.389 Angie Snowball: and a lot of people refer to it as emotional intelligence and social skills is just one part of that. So also we should get that out of the way that we didn't actually say what each was. And I was like, oh, yeah. So there you go, nameless friend, thanks for pointing that out.
00:09:34.930 --> 00:09:53.639 nawtej dosanjh: Thank you, nameless friend, really really appreciate it. Nameless friend, I have a question for you, too. We talked about self sabotage, emotional sabotage, self-sabotage controlling your thoughts. Talk to me about your own self-limiting beliefs.
00:09:56.300 --> 00:09:57.629 Angie Snowball: Oh, you wanna go first.st
00:09:57.630 --> 00:09:58.310 nawtej dosanjh: Believes.
00:09:59.320 --> 00:10:00.940 Bruce Cramer: No, I'm like you this.
00:10:00.940 --> 00:10:02.300 nawtej dosanjh: Over to you, Bruce.
00:10:03.053 --> 00:10:03.879 Angie Snowball: Yeah. Oh.
00:10:03.880 --> 00:10:20.279 Angie Snowball: no, I can do it if you want. I mean, I think, just in general, if you look at my life, one of the reasons we I chose Renaissance women is because I'm always changing. Every single one of those changes came with a lot of doubt. Every single one of those. I was doing something for a year or 2 before. I felt like
00:10:20.300 --> 00:10:36.390 Angie Snowball: I actually deserve to be there. Even this whole Linkedin thing I, for at least a year. I was like, you guys, this is dumb. Nobody needs to pay for this. It's common sense. It took me a really long time, and lots of workshops later to realize. No, not everybody does get this
00:10:36.709 --> 00:10:54.990 Angie Snowball: and then again goes back to why we all need coaches, because, you know, it's impossible to get over the imposter syndrome by yourself. It takes a very, very long time if you're not supported by the right people, and a very, very long time. If you don't have a coach organizing that whole army of getting over it.
00:10:56.920 --> 00:11:09.030 nawtej dosanjh: Great point. Sanjit. Great point. What about you, Bruce? This whole idea of self-limiting beliefs, you know around imposter syndromes. One you mentioned that you know what else? What are the self-limiting beliefs?
00:11:09.850 --> 00:11:13.799 Bruce Cramer: Think when you know, when you borderline talk about regrets
00:11:14.060 --> 00:11:20.749 Bruce Cramer: that can become very self limiting in your life, because, as I know,
00:11:21.870 --> 00:11:42.199 Bruce Cramer: Dr. D. You're going to lead us in the second segment, where we talk about specifically the ingredients of emotional intelligence. But what I equate this for is that, as I mentioned in a couple of episodes ago, when we were talking about diamond mapping, you know, having balance in your life.
00:11:42.210 --> 00:12:07.779 Bruce Cramer: you know the lack of some of the ingredients which we're going to get into, cause a huge backlash in terms of my family. And so then I started creeping in regrets like gosh! Why, why wasn't IA little bit more aware, and all that? And this and then that almost becomes reinforcing to the point that you know you don't necessarily crawl out of
00:12:07.780 --> 00:12:26.110 Bruce Cramer: what it was you were caught up into where you just got to say, Hey, you know I'm learning. It's okay to improve as you go through life, and don't, don't dwell and say I've got all of these regrets. So I've gotten to a point now where I believe everything happens for a reason.
00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:33.189 Bruce Cramer: and every day you have a chance to now be doing it right. And so that's what I'm focused on.
00:12:33.540 --> 00:12:38.130 nawtej dosanjh: You know what I would say, I would say. That's very high emotional intelligence.
00:12:38.380 --> 00:12:46.620 nawtej dosanjh: I would say, that's very intention. It feels like you. You basically gave us a story of a few self limiting beliefs.
00:12:46.780 --> 00:12:52.030 nawtej dosanjh: and you conquered them, and you're continually conquering them.
00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:54.530 Bruce Cramer: Working on them.
00:12:54.530 --> 00:12:56.480 Angie Snowball: About that. It was a maybe thing
00:12:57.260 --> 00:13:10.089 Angie Snowball: with the maybe thing to another like self limiting belief. And I know we have to go to break here. But is caring so much about what other people think, and not focusing on what you think. That is a huge part of imposter syndrome, and
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:12.119 Angie Snowball: limiting as to the people.
00:13:12.890 --> 00:13:13.660 Bruce Cramer: Oh!
00:13:14.830 --> 00:13:15.410 Angie Snowball: Push.
00:13:15.930 --> 00:13:16.320 Bruce Cramer: Point.
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:16.850 Angie Snowball: Okay. Thanks.
00:13:16.850 --> 00:13:17.719 Bruce Cramer: Well, with that.
00:13:18.176 --> 00:13:19.544 Angie Snowball: Get it out.
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:29.479 Bruce Cramer: So with that, I think we're going to go to break, and then Dr. D. Will be back talking about the ingredients. So, Jesse, if you don't mind, take it away.
00:15:14.860 --> 00:15:38.820 nawtej dosanjh: Welcome. Welcome back, everybody! We are now going to do a slightly deeper dive. We're still at the surface in many ways, but we started with a concept. And now we're going to go slightly deeper. Lots of ways to think about Eq. Emotional intelligence, emotional, quotient. Goldman is somebody who
00:15:40.110 --> 00:16:10.039 nawtej dosanjh: and this is the one we're going to pick on. Goldman is somebody who came out with 5 core ingredients a bit like our drinks, a bit like Angie's drinks. There's an ingredient. So Eq. Has a recipe, according to everybody. But Goldman has 5 ingredients. Let me say them to you. And then, guys a bit of a warning. I'm going to come to you and ask you which of these ingredients you're missing
00:16:10.100 --> 00:16:12.530 nawtej dosanjh: most. So just be prepared.
00:16:12.530 --> 00:16:13.430 Angie Snowball: Good morning. That's so.
00:16:13.430 --> 00:16:21.869 nawtej dosanjh: I'm coming. I'm coming at you with a tough question when I when I, when I go through the 5 ingredients. So, according to God.
00:16:21.870 --> 00:16:25.046 Bruce Cramer: Angie's first.st I'm just saying Angie's first.st
00:16:25.500 --> 00:16:52.489 nawtej dosanjh: Well, she may be she may be, but she may not be Bruce. I don't know which way the board's going to go. I don't know what's going to happen there. Yeah, you can go first.st So self-awareness is number one. We've talked about this already. But let's just recap. Can you name what you're feeling? Can you articulate what you're feeling in the moment? Or is it just an emotion?
00:16:52.947 --> 00:17:08.429 nawtej dosanjh: An unexamined emotion where you're having the feeling? But you're not explained. You're not able to explain. You're not able to give a name to it. You can't give any context to it. And that. And that's self-awareness.
00:17:08.589 --> 00:17:12.930 nawtej dosanjh: Number 2. Self-regulation. What does that mean?
00:17:13.560 --> 00:17:17.519 nawtej dosanjh: Can you stay cool when the pressure's on
00:17:19.050 --> 00:17:23.250 nawtej dosanjh: in your relationship at work? Can you pause?
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:31.519 nawtej dosanjh: Can you reflect before you answer. Does it really need a knee-jerk? Immediate reaction?
00:17:33.500 --> 00:17:35.630 nawtej dosanjh: Number 3. Motivation.
00:17:36.510 --> 00:17:40.909 nawtej dosanjh: How driven are you from the inside out?
00:17:42.100 --> 00:17:44.989 nawtej dosanjh: Or do you really need a lot of external pressure?
00:17:45.690 --> 00:17:58.647 nawtej dosanjh: Are you driven internally from your own thoughts? Can you generate motivational thoughts? Can you control your thoughts so that you are motivation? You you have that motivation?
00:17:59.380 --> 00:18:02.359 nawtej dosanjh: big big question for every everybody to answer.
00:18:02.820 --> 00:18:09.879 nawtej dosanjh: And remember what I said in the in the 1st segment we could all gain the skills for Eq.
00:18:10.470 --> 00:18:21.300 nawtej dosanjh: Time after time studies show this, there are ways to gain, and in future episodes we'll cover this. There are ways to become better at Eq.
00:18:21.790 --> 00:18:27.080 nawtej dosanjh: Okay, so I've talked about self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy.
00:18:27.450 --> 00:18:33.950 nawtej dosanjh: Can you tune in and feel and get others?
00:18:35.910 --> 00:18:39.930 nawtej dosanjh: Can you do that? Or does it all go over your head.
00:18:41.060 --> 00:18:42.500 nawtej dosanjh: Social skills
00:18:42.780 --> 00:19:04.960 nawtej dosanjh: can you build? And this is something that Angie referred to, comprising part of Eq. Social skills comprise part of it's not the whole thing. It's part of it. Can you build connections? Can you influence? Do you have ways of influencing people? Do you have ways of disagreeing
00:19:05.360 --> 00:19:13.629 nawtej dosanjh: with people so as not to create tension. Can you resolve the tension gracefully if it comes to tension.
00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:41.629 nawtej dosanjh: we're going to break all of these down in many future episodes. But today let's just think of them as your sampler, your Eq. Flight sampler. And you know, ask yourself what ingredients are in abundance or in your personal recipe. And what are lacking in your personal recipe, and Angie with lots of warning?
00:19:41.850 --> 00:19:58.730 nawtej dosanjh: That's the question to you. And then, Bruce, over to you what talk to us about what ingredients are in abundance in your life, and which of those 5 Goldman Core ingredients are lacking.
00:20:00.110 --> 00:20:13.520 Angie Snowball: Yeah. So this one's kind of easy for me. So empathy is overabundance, in fact, to the point of what we said right before break. Sometimes I care too much about other people's feelings that I don't put myself 1st when I.
00:20:13.520 --> 00:20:16.300 nawtej dosanjh: I can see that I can see that. Actually, yeah.
00:20:16.640 --> 00:20:29.939 Angie Snowball: So. But I'm getting better. I'm kind of building boundaries, and that's what I love what you said. All these things have changed. You know they can change that. A lot of these things are learned. So answering that question, I mean.
00:20:30.090 --> 00:20:35.920 Angie Snowball: 20 years ago it would have been all 5. I'm lacking all 5 except empathy. That's just naturally, I think my personal.
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:41.420 nawtej dosanjh: Oh, come on! Come on, Angie. Really, really, Angie, were you really lacking all 5? Come on, come on.
00:20:41.820 --> 00:21:05.429 Angie Snowball: I think it was like, you grow up. You learn a lot more. Right? Yeah, I mean, always good at empathy social skills. I always talked a lot. But that's just because I like doing it. And there's a big myth that just because you talk a lot, you have good social skills. Some people just talk forever, and they'll never listen. That's not a good social skill. But I do. I think I was okay with that. But self-regulation is definitely my downfall, because
00:21:05.430 --> 00:21:13.270 Angie Snowball: I am very emotional, and I just want to tell you what I think right away. And you said no knee jerk reactions in my head.
00:21:13.270 --> 00:21:35.290 Angie Snowball: It still happens, you know, and like people say, Okay, I've learned how to control my words. I've learned how to take the emotion out of things. I've learned how to step back to listen. I use all the tools, but my face will still tell you like if I think you're really dumb, or you made me really mad. My face is still going to tell you what I think about you. So that's my downfall is self-regulation.
00:21:35.290 --> 00:21:46.899 Angie Snowball: and, like you said. I'm still learning it. I'm still putting new tools in the box all the time. It gets better and better. But if I had to choose my biggest weakness it. It's that I want to react right away. I want you to know what I think.
00:21:46.900 --> 00:21:50.189 nawtej dosanjh: Self regulation. You're not. You're not great at self regulation, essentially.
00:21:50.670 --> 00:21:56.219 Angie Snowball: That's why we could. Yeah, okay, you're sharing Bruce. You had plenty, plenty, plenty of time.
00:21:59.040 --> 00:22:06.470 nawtej dosanjh: We're so nice to you, Bruce. We're so nice we gave you. We gave you warning. We gave you up front. We made Angie go first.st This better be good dude.
00:22:06.850 --> 00:22:13.533 Bruce Cramer: No pressure. So I you know, I'm gonna start with my overabundance.
00:22:14.590 --> 00:22:15.090 nawtej dosanjh: Okay.
00:22:15.090 --> 00:22:23.509 Bruce Cramer: But so motivation. I don't need a lot to get me motivated. I'm always thinking
00:22:23.780 --> 00:22:31.290 Bruce Cramer: it's got to be better. There's something else I can do, etc, I would say the second thing, I'm pretty good at social skills.
00:22:32.053 --> 00:22:43.019 Bruce Cramer: But I will tell you in a moment how those are some, or were somewhat compromised. I'm still a work in progress, and then I would say, 3rd strength was self-awareness.
00:22:43.470 --> 00:22:54.329 Bruce Cramer: Now my weaknesses, especially early on in my career career. The good news was I was with an organization that we
00:22:54.500 --> 00:23:05.609 Bruce Cramer: really had tough conversations about these things as you developed, and you had mentors and coaches. We focused on these ingredients, but one of them was self regulation.
00:23:05.800 --> 00:23:27.290 Bruce Cramer: I mean, I hate that this is embarrassing. So those that know the organization I worked with, and you can look it up. I was there for 40, some years, early in my career. You know how you had those name badges. People would walk around. This was me before Bruce. This was me after Bruce, because there was a slogan. Have you been, Bruce?
00:23:27.410 --> 00:23:36.324 Bruce Cramer: Which basically, have you been taken to the woodshed, so I had a short fuse. Now the good news is
00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:56.689 Bruce Cramer: you know. I also showed vulnerability, so I had team members pull me aside and say, Dude, that was not cool. I had coaches again, a very nurturing organization, that kind of tried to smooth this person into a bit of a diamond, but the last was empathy. I remember
00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:06.270 Bruce Cramer: in a very you know, we would do this, Myers Myers-briggs exercise, and I remember I scored 0 on empathy
00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:17.140 Bruce Cramer: and it. You know, you didn't know you scored it. Yeah, you know, you go through this whole exam. You have no idea, and I got a 0.
00:24:17.370 --> 00:24:23.259 Bruce Cramer: Oh, my God! Was! I was in this meeting, and there was 30 to 40 other leaders with me.
00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:38.140 Bruce Cramer: and I was visibly shaken because I'm like I have no what the fuck are you talking about? Excuse me, but just a clear indication that maybe I don't have empathy, but I was so distraught I went home.
00:24:38.370 --> 00:24:42.009 Bruce Cramer: and, as you guys know, I have an ex-wife for good reason.
00:24:42.390 --> 00:24:46.230 Bruce Cramer: I remember saying to her, Do you?
00:24:46.690 --> 00:24:50.839 Bruce Cramer: Do you think when it comes to empathy. I'm at a 0.
00:24:51.290 --> 00:24:52.670 Bruce Cramer: Oh, hell, yeah.
00:24:52.970 --> 00:25:09.440 Bruce Cramer: you you I'm like, well, somebody talk to me, I mean, I'm this walking asshole, and nobody's telling me and so that was very, very early in my career. But I was visibly shaken.
00:25:09.480 --> 00:25:27.389 Bruce Cramer: So as I started to move forward, you know, because it really did bother me because I do have some self awareness. So it bothered me that how could I have missed this? How could I not connect with others that I thought I was connecting with at a deeper level.
00:25:27.700 --> 00:25:34.799 Bruce Cramer: And so what happened? My self awareness overnight really started to increase because I had to.
00:25:34.970 --> 00:26:02.390 Bruce Cramer: Not naturally I had to. I actually put plants in meetings where I'd have somebody that knew. They could tell me I was full of shit, and nothing would happen I would have them critique me like did was my tone much better in this meeting? Did I really pay attention and listen to people? And do they know I really listened to them. Was I active listening, you know, and it took a decade
00:26:02.390 --> 00:26:16.399 Bruce Cramer: for me to transition from Bruce 1.0 to Bruce Lake 3.0 out of 4 on a scale of 4, but I had to work at it religiously, and so I leveraged my self-awareness.
00:26:16.430 --> 00:26:34.779 Bruce Cramer: which overnight. It even improved my social skills. That much more which Angie's gonna talk about next week led to a bunch of good promotions for me. And so Angie will talk about that, you know. She's leading that up next week. So stay tuned. But.
00:26:35.095 --> 00:26:35.410 Angie Snowball: Right.
00:26:35.410 --> 00:26:52.800 Bruce Cramer: Emotional intelligence is everything like they said. It's probably more important than IQ. As a predictor of your success. I'm here to tell you that that's absolutely because my career flourished. Once I was smacked alongside of the head, saying, Dude.
00:26:52.930 --> 00:27:11.870 Bruce Cramer: you're coming across as a bit of an asshole, you know, you know. And and even though I was used in some cases to be more like that, because we had to get things done that weren't getting done. So put Bruce on it, you know he'll drive it. But it was, you know, at the expense of of.
00:27:11.870 --> 00:27:28.079 Bruce Cramer: you know, other members of the team, and that's never good. And it wasn't good for me, either. But that's why these tools are so important. They're easy to ignore or poo poo! But they make all the difference in the world when you pay attention to them.
00:27:28.680 --> 00:27:38.969 Angie Snowball: And you know what's so crazy, Bruce, when you said you put a plant in the meeting for your weakness, I have the same thing to this day, and any of my Bni people that are listening from President.
00:27:39.455 --> 00:27:56.620 Angie Snowball: They know who it is. He will text me and say, Fix your face. I know that I'm you know I know my self regulation is not great, and I know that I need to, so I use that to use it again, using other people to improve myself, because I know I can't do it alone.
00:27:57.080 --> 00:28:09.150 nawtej dosanjh: Guys. I just gotta say, guys, no, no, don't stop talking, Bruce. Stop talking. No, no, I'm talking now. But I got I gotta say seriously, any everybody listening.
00:28:09.400 --> 00:28:20.080 nawtej dosanjh: Bruce and Angie definition of high IQ. Seriously, because listen to the vulnerability of that, the honesty or the authenticity.
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:23.339 nawtej dosanjh: But the competence
00:28:23.820 --> 00:28:31.970 nawtej dosanjh: are to, you know, it takes confidence to express vulnerability. So everybody listen to those stories, play these stories back
00:28:32.450 --> 00:28:35.860 nawtej dosanjh: play these stories back. They've had successful careers.
00:28:36.150 --> 00:28:42.369 nawtej dosanjh: not because of all the IQ stuff they were doing, but because they learned this stuff, and they are
00:28:42.790 --> 00:29:00.390 nawtej dosanjh: vulnerable enough to share that with you. Right right now, guys, thank you for sharing that. I'm glad I gave you the warning. Maybe that allowed you time to prepare. Yeah, I'll yeah. I'll take. I'll take the accolade for that one. It was all down to me, guys. It wasn't to do with you to do with me. I think we gotta get a break. We got to get a break.
00:29:01.360 --> 00:29:03.150 Angie Snowball: Alright! See ya.
00:30:38.690 --> 00:30:47.619 Angie Snowball: Okay, everybody welcome back from break. We have talked about so much already, but most of our answers were about work.
00:30:47.800 --> 00:30:55.000 Angie Snowball: and I think the really key thing about Eq. Is that we need it for life.
00:30:55.170 --> 00:31:05.919 Angie Snowball: that is, with your family. It is in your relationships. It is in work. We took one aspect but truthfully. When you put these 5 things together, you have better relationships.
00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:27.100 Angie Snowball: You're a better friend. You're a better spouse. You're a better everybody when you have the self awareness, the self regulation. Oh, my gosh! I know my husband's listening to this because he's wonderful, and he listens all the time, but I can guarantee you he's laughing his ass off at me, saying that I'm getting better at self regulation. He's like
00:31:27.150 --> 00:31:29.509 Angie Snowball: cause I feel like you're on my ass a lot
00:31:29.750 --> 00:31:48.540 Angie Snowball: truthfully like knowing those things, I think, makes us better in our family and our friends as well. So we didn't really talk about your work experience with with Eq. But I'd love to hear how you feel like Eqs. Made. You have a fuller life outside the office.
00:31:52.070 --> 00:31:52.869 Angie Snowball: He has a face like I.
00:31:52.870 --> 00:31:53.270 nawtej dosanjh: What else?
00:31:53.270 --> 00:31:54.480 Angie Snowball: Room under a bus.
00:31:55.010 --> 00:31:58.379 nawtej dosanjh: Yeah, you threw me under the bus. And yeah, but I enjoy it. That's good. I.
00:31:59.000 --> 00:31:59.620 Bruce Cramer: But.
00:31:59.620 --> 00:32:04.839 nawtej dosanjh: I? Wanna I wanna think I want to be challenged right? So
00:32:08.550 --> 00:32:16.770 nawtej dosanjh: I'm gonna go back to Goldman's 5 core ingredients to answer your question. So I think at
00:32:17.270 --> 00:32:22.280 nawtej dosanjh: early in in my early life all of those needed work.
00:32:23.290 --> 00:32:29.989 nawtej dosanjh: and I've got better with effort and work and with feedback.
00:32:30.924 --> 00:32:37.880 nawtej dosanjh: And I've and I learned quite early in life, not just like Bruce, actually to
00:32:38.570 --> 00:32:42.620 nawtej dosanjh: take take feedback and not be critical of feedback.
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:45.620 nawtej dosanjh: Take it, and reflect on it.
00:32:45.620 --> 00:32:46.050 Angie Snowball: That's so.
00:32:46.050 --> 00:32:46.890 nawtej dosanjh: Oppose
00:32:47.569 --> 00:33:13.290 nawtej dosanjh: but I think but I think so. So. Of course it's definitely helped me, you know, because I you know, I had a career where I was working so hard. And you know, it's like when you're working so hard you're on a hamster wheel, and you can get very operational. And you can. You can. You can become a bit short. You can have a short fuse and you know, there's multiple priorities. And you can. You can get stressed. So
00:33:13.460 --> 00:33:20.174 nawtej dosanjh: I'd say the thing that I had to work on. The last thing that I had to work on was
00:33:20.710 --> 00:33:22.050 nawtej dosanjh: staying cool.
00:33:22.540 --> 00:33:44.520 nawtej dosanjh: staying cool in in difficult situations. That's the that's the thing that I had to. That's the thing that I don't think that I'll ever conquer it. But I think that that I've understood it, and I've become very good. I've got techniques to pause and reflect on that.
00:33:45.600 --> 00:33:52.050 nawtej dosanjh: In conclusion to that, to your question, I'd say the thing that I think I always had was empathy.
00:33:52.620 --> 00:33:54.620 nawtej dosanjh: I think I could get.
00:33:54.620 --> 00:33:56.079 Angie Snowball: That makes sense to me.
00:33:56.080 --> 00:33:57.799 nawtej dosanjh: I think I could get others.
00:33:57.800 --> 00:33:58.320 Angie Snowball: That's it.
00:33:58.320 --> 00:34:17.650 nawtej dosanjh: And sort of understand what they were feeling. And actually, I'm probably quite good at showing that empathy rather than just feeling it, showing that empathy. And and you know, resolving things quickly. So yeah, I think that's a is that a is that a reasonable answer?
00:34:17.650 --> 00:34:26.809 Angie Snowball: I think that's a really good answer, and I love that. I think all 3 of us are talking about self-regulation and staying cool is a challenge that we have.
00:34:27.157 --> 00:34:56.459 Angie Snowball: You know this is Bruce. I'm going to throw this at you, so I'm not totally throwing you under the bus. I'm warning you before I throw you but so there's several things like when you're doing motivation that's important to have at home, because, like not said, I'm running on the hamster wheel all day when I get home. The last thing I need is somebody yelling and nagging me that I'm not giving them my energy. I don't da da da, you know, like those that's understanding that you don't have. That is important, because then you can
00:34:56.469 --> 00:34:58.009 Angie Snowball: talk about it and fix it.
00:34:58.110 --> 00:35:25.630 Angie Snowball: And the self regulation stuff is important to know, because, especially at home, you are in your comfort zone. You're with the person that loves you most, and you're when you're at work. You're somewhat regulated right like Bruce said. He's like I can't be an asshole at work. But what's stopping you from being yourself when you're at home. So I think that self regulation, it's important, just as important at home, and maybe more important, to realize we don't have it because we tend to have that unconditional love at home.
00:35:25.630 --> 00:35:41.720 Angie Snowball: and we don't regulate ourselves as much as we should. And that can be a real problem. So, Bruce, what do you at home? What do you think? How do you feel about these 5 things? Is one different than at work like? Do you have one weak spot more at work than at home, or one strong spot more.
00:35:41.720 --> 00:35:43.119 nawtej dosanjh: Question, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:44.780 --> 00:35:45.760 Bruce Cramer: Bastard.
00:35:48.840 --> 00:35:49.290 Bruce Cramer: Ha!
00:35:49.930 --> 00:35:59.649 Bruce Cramer: So no, I you know such a great point, Angie, because I still struggle with empathy and self-regulation at home
00:36:00.240 --> 00:36:03.690 Bruce Cramer: in my professional life as a coach.
00:36:04.287 --> 00:36:11.110 Bruce Cramer: You know no longer, you know. I am so aware and so regulated just
00:36:11.450 --> 00:36:13.970 Bruce Cramer: from years. But are there moments
00:36:14.120 --> 00:36:19.659 Bruce Cramer: at home where that takes a backseat. And it's like you said, it's because you're with somebody that
00:36:19.930 --> 00:36:47.859 Bruce Cramer: hopefully loves you unconditionally, hopefully, do I still have to do? I still have moments where I don't practice that as well as I need to. Absolutely so. As I said earlier, I'm a work in progress, but those still my 2 weakest points, empathy and self-regulation in my home life is still something that is less than adequate at times.
00:36:49.420 --> 00:36:54.179 Angie Snowball: That's when you have that, when we I'm not saying like, you know.
00:36:54.340 --> 00:37:12.389 Angie Snowball: 1st sucks or not, judge sucks. I'm saying all of us have our weak points at these things, and whether it is at home or at work, this is the difference between a conflict and a collaboration. This is the difference between someone showing you support and someone holding you down.
00:37:12.824 --> 00:37:36.680 Angie Snowball: These things will change everything and like work, life balance. It's such a buzzword, right? Everybody wants work, life balance. We gotta have. We gotta have it. I think what we really need is work, life integration, because they are all a part of everything. We do my work, my personal life matters. When I'm at work, too. My business life. You can shut the door and compartmentalize, and those are all great tools, but it's still a part of you.
00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:44.179 Angie Snowball: and understanding and being empathetic to each other's jobs like my husband works really long days. So he gets home at
00:37:44.180 --> 00:38:01.630 Angie Snowball: 9, 10 o'clock at night, right? And a lot of times. He just wants to go and watch Panda bears fall out of trees on Youtube. And I'm like a puppy that's been home all day. I'm like, Come on, play with me. Let's go do something. So, understanding that he's been in a truck for 14 h, and that's how he calms down
00:38:01.640 --> 00:38:20.780 Angie Snowball: made a huge difference in our relationship. Because, like, okay, then, I'm going to make this my me time and on the weekends. We have our quality time when we both, you know. So that's a big difference. I mean, in other relationships that could make or break something if you weren't understanding of. Hey? That's how he does things. What do you guys have to add on that
00:38:21.460 --> 00:38:21.960 Angie Snowball: first.st
00:38:22.325 --> 00:38:27.069 nawtej dosanjh: You had your finger, you had your finger there. Oh, my AI cameras!
00:38:27.750 --> 00:38:35.969 Bruce Cramer: I'm not just gonna say, thank God, I have a partner that has high Eq, so.
00:38:35.970 --> 00:38:36.690 Angie Snowball: She does.
00:38:36.690 --> 00:39:02.559 Bruce Cramer: Yeah, she she is amazing. And my kids will tell you she's amazing. But yeah, you know, she continues to coach me to some degree. So all my clients out there, you know. But but you know the reality is emotional intelligence. The reason why it's such has such a huge impact
00:39:02.760 --> 00:39:25.599 Bruce Cramer: is that it does cross all you know, while I can say at a leader, it converted me from leading kind of with force to be more inspirational, to be more, you know, engaging with others. It's always a work in process. Because, Angie, I'm I'm so happy. You brought up what you know, because when I do come home, I kind of relax.
00:39:26.285 --> 00:39:27.920 Bruce Cramer: All of that
00:39:28.450 --> 00:39:40.539 Bruce Cramer: knowledge I have to just kind of take, and then your natural in your natural behaviors. I was trying to say inclination.
00:39:41.110 --> 00:39:41.809 nawtej dosanjh: And I couldn't.
00:39:41.810 --> 00:39:43.169 nawtej dosanjh: Is it more than one syllable.
00:39:43.170 --> 00:40:08.439 Bruce Cramer: There. But but the reality is you got to be on guard. This isn't something a 1 and done. You don't walk away and say, Hey, I got it. I'm highly emotional intelligence, you know, because I could be honest. Noel can open a can of whoop us on me, too, where she uses that self regulation, but I usually have it coming so. But it's a work in process.
00:40:08.440 --> 00:40:10.390 nawtej dosanjh: Too much information.
00:40:15.660 --> 00:40:21.049 Angie Snowball: A lot about how important it is, and like where we see it and all that stuff.
00:40:21.100 --> 00:40:47.809 Angie Snowball: I think it would also be helpful for people to understand, like, what are some of the tools that we've used? Because we've all said we've improved. We've all said, you know, 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 10 years ago, something was different. So I know for me. There's a couple of things that I've done. One is to learn patience. I had to teach myself patience. I had to just keep reminding myself, okay, just hear them out.
00:40:47.880 --> 00:41:16.220 Angie Snowball: you know. Look at it from their side. What you know, and ask more questions. So when I did want to open a can of whoop, ass instead of just screaming and yelling and jumping up and down like, okay, I don't understand this and ask more questions so that I could be empathetic to the situation. And I think another thing was truly just having working. I work with a hypnotherapist who's helped me with a lot of private family issues and stuff. But he's helped me get over, you know.
00:41:16.380 --> 00:41:32.430 Angie Snowball: find a balance, and become mentally and emotionally more stable when it comes to some of the the family things that we have. So those are 2 things that I've used, and I have a boatload more. What are some of your favorite tips and tools to help people improve on these
00:41:32.680 --> 00:41:33.700 Angie Snowball: handsets?
00:41:35.110 --> 00:41:36.380 Angie Snowball: Good questions.
00:41:36.780 --> 00:41:42.140 nawtej dosanjh: I got I got 3. I got 3 feedback.
00:41:42.790 --> 00:41:50.390 nawtej dosanjh: Go and get feedback and do not react to the feedback. It's stay silent.
00:41:51.350 --> 00:41:56.679 nawtej dosanjh: Take feedback, and don't. Don't try and tell the person that they're wrong.
00:41:57.150 --> 00:42:00.669 nawtej dosanjh: Take the feedback and then go and reflect on it.
00:42:01.030 --> 00:42:14.039 nawtej dosanjh: That's that's that's helped me over the last 1520 years for sure. The other thing that that really helps me is at some point in the day I go and do a 1 h walk
00:42:15.090 --> 00:42:16.890 nawtej dosanjh: can contemplative work.
00:42:18.788 --> 00:42:23.709 nawtej dosanjh: And then a little bit of meditation as well during the day. So
00:42:24.368 --> 00:42:27.660 nawtej dosanjh: I'd say in order it's feedback
00:42:28.190 --> 00:42:34.999 nawtej dosanjh: and not not sort of reacting to the feedback and then making sure.
00:42:35.541 --> 00:42:41.119 nawtej dosanjh: I do a 1 h walk where there is nothing but me talking to myself.
00:42:41.260 --> 00:42:49.439 nawtej dosanjh: you know, in my own thoughts, and that just aids that contemplative pause thing that I was talking about. And then meditation.
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:50.910 nawtej dosanjh: How about you, Bruce?
00:42:50.910 --> 00:42:52.740 Angie Snowball: I think that's good. Yeah.
00:42:53.810 --> 00:42:54.605 Bruce Cramer: Yeah,
00:42:55.600 --> 00:43:16.419 Bruce Cramer: so I find, you know. So everything you just said. The only thing I would add is that I journal. So one of the things is, as I pointed out earlier, my self awareness has gone way up. So even when I fail to self regulate, or maybe not display enough empathy
00:43:17.090 --> 00:43:32.859 Bruce Cramer: quick to catch it, and I now lean into it by apologizing, by saying, Hey, you know that that wasn't warranted the way I reacted, and I need to listen better, so I better understand. But by journaling
00:43:33.550 --> 00:43:35.340 Bruce Cramer: a chance to reflect.
00:43:35.670 --> 00:43:49.220 nawtej dosanjh: Can I cut in here? So was there a time where you before we go to break? Because I know I know we're we're being hammered to go, go to break. But it's a quick question. I want to get it. Now. What were you? Was there a time where you were not good at apologizing.
00:43:49.740 --> 00:43:50.550 Bruce Cramer: Yes.
00:43:51.210 --> 00:43:51.860 nawtej dosanjh: Right.
00:43:52.160 --> 00:43:52.940 Bruce Cramer: Yes.
00:43:53.490 --> 00:43:53.960 nawtej dosanjh: Brilliant.
00:43:53.960 --> 00:43:54.759 Bruce Cramer: I didn't have the.
00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:55.160 Angie Snowball: Yes.
00:43:55.470 --> 00:43:55.870 Bruce Cramer: Yeah, but.
00:43:55.870 --> 00:43:56.790 nawtej dosanjh: The way me, too. Just.
00:43:56.790 --> 00:43:57.680 Bruce Cramer: Gonna, say, yes.
00:43:57.680 --> 00:43:59.279 Angie Snowball: Yeah, same. Same.
00:43:59.720 --> 00:44:02.630 Angie Snowball: Okay, just no. I'm good at it. Like, you guys, sorry.
00:44:02.780 --> 00:44:05.040 nawtej dosanjh: Let's go to break and then talk amongst ourselves.
00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:07.439 Bruce Cramer: And then, Dr. D, you're coming back to with the challenge.
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:15.680 nawtej dosanjh: Oh, I've got a surprise for you guys. We've got a surprise. Get some, get some, get some old fashioned down. You let's go to break.
00:44:15.680 --> 00:44:43.839 Bruce Cramer: If you needed to learn stages of epilepsy, did you depend on advocates? Did you use new innovations to cope with mental and neurological issues, maintaining high quality of life and keeping good mental health are what we all strive for. I'm Frank R. Harrison, host of Frank about health, and each week. Top healthcare influencers, professionals, and innovators answer these questions, and more stay tuned on Thursdays at 5 Pm. On Talkradionyc. And I will continue to be frank about health with all of you.
00:46:01.290 --> 00:46:08.560 nawtej dosanjh: Welcome back everybody as as promised. I've got a bit of a surprise for my co-hosts. I have a question for them.
00:46:09.090 --> 00:46:25.079 nawtej dosanjh: Okay? And the question is, you answer in in 2 parts some thinking time you you might need a bit of thinking time, and then I'm and then we've got. I've got a little bit of an exercise for our listeners. But question for you 2
00:46:25.920 --> 00:46:28.410 nawtej dosanjh: work environment. You're in a meeting.
00:46:28.680 --> 00:46:34.829 nawtej dosanjh: When a colleague takes credit for work that you did.
00:46:36.050 --> 00:46:40.339 nawtej dosanjh: Colleague takes credit that you're in a meeting of a lot of people.
00:46:40.840 --> 00:46:48.570 nawtej dosanjh: What do you do? Here's how I want you to answer the question, what would you have done 20 years ago? And
00:46:49.150 --> 00:47:04.719 nawtej dosanjh: what would you do now if it's different? If it's the same, it's the same. But what would you do 20 years ago? What did you do? What would you have done 20 years ago? And what would you do now? And I'm going to come to Angie first.st
00:47:06.660 --> 00:47:07.260 Angie Snowball: Okay.
00:47:08.240 --> 00:47:09.369 nawtej dosanjh: 20 years ago?
00:47:09.930 --> 00:47:10.620 nawtej dosanjh: Yeah.
00:47:10.620 --> 00:47:10.980 Angie Snowball: Yes.
00:47:12.100 --> 00:47:19.300 Angie Snowball: I would have sat there and boiled. Probably not said anything, because I know I would have said something really, really bad.
00:47:19.866 --> 00:47:31.220 Angie Snowball: And then I would have gone out after work and talk shit about that person for a long time, and come back to work unhappy and angry, and had a very unhealthy relationship. In fact, I know who that person is.
00:47:31.870 --> 00:47:33.170 Angie Snowball: Hope that happened
00:47:34.057 --> 00:47:57.939 Angie Snowball: and since then, like later, working in automotive, I ran into this again. I had and it was a woman, and there's not a lot of women in automotive, and anybody who knows me knows I'm a big proponent of women's things. I have a huge international Women's Day globally, all this stuff. So it's really hard, especially because she was a woman.
00:47:58.020 --> 00:48:26.060 Angie Snowball: to not just let her do it, because I didn't want to cut her down. But what I found was, if I just went into the conversation and gradually said, you know, when I 1st thought about doing this, I was also worried about this. What do you guys think of those challenges? So I didn't like throw her under the bus, but I was careful with my word choices to let her know. Hey, I see what you're doing here. But guess what it is my idea. I do have all the right questions, and I'm still driving the bus, and
00:48:26.510 --> 00:48:47.470 Angie Snowball: I'm strong enough that I don't have to yell at. You call you names. Everyone will still know I'm driving that bus without throwing you under it. So I think it's just kind of finding ways to remain calm and to slowly, just stay the course. You're strong. It was your idea. But throwing somebody on the bus never helps, does it? It just makes you look petty right? So that's not the
00:48:48.160 --> 00:48:51.299 Angie Snowball: get out of here. So that's to me.
00:48:51.680 --> 00:48:52.220 Angie Snowball: And.
00:48:52.590 --> 00:49:02.479 nawtej dosanjh: That that is like that is like a score of 1 million out of 10. That's the 1 million pound round on serving up success. Angie. What a great.
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:04.970 Angie Snowball: I don't think it went straight, but.
00:49:05.700 --> 00:49:15.849 nawtej dosanjh: It was, it was awesome, and the and the and the fact that you showed vulnerability about what you did in the past. You you know you you were talked about the person behind.
00:49:16.480 --> 00:49:19.250 Angie Snowball: Yeah, get? Defensive.
00:49:20.490 --> 00:49:21.490 Bruce Cramer: Was happy.
00:49:21.490 --> 00:49:22.590 Bruce Cramer: She had to go.
00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:25.090 Bruce Cramer: I was happy. She had to go first.st
00:49:25.090 --> 00:49:28.349 nawtej dosanjh: I saw you. I saw you. Yeah.
00:49:29.262 --> 00:49:32.500 Bruce Cramer: Oh, God! So if we go back
00:49:33.340 --> 00:49:40.079 Bruce Cramer: 45 years, I I would have called the person out in the meeting. I wouldn't have, you know, wouldn't have been like.
00:49:40.520 --> 00:49:42.100 Bruce Cramer: Hey, mother?
00:49:42.500 --> 00:49:46.309 Bruce Cramer: It would have just been dude, or you know.
00:49:46.710 --> 00:49:51.530 Bruce Cramer: you know, you know, what are you thinking? You know, direct
00:49:51.530 --> 00:49:56.579 Bruce Cramer: the way it went down. But there would have been a confrontation, a little confrontation
00:49:56.720 --> 00:50:03.450 Bruce Cramer: in in the midst of everyone in that meeting, because, you know, I was going to stand up for what's right or whatever
00:50:04.258 --> 00:50:08.330 Bruce Cramer: we're now, you know, ratchet forward.
00:50:08.810 --> 00:50:27.290 Bruce Cramer: Literally, I would have left things just go because one. I'm confident that people know what my capabilities are. I'm confident in my capabilities. So you know, this one episode isn't going to do anything. I would circle back with that individual
00:50:27.300 --> 00:50:54.400 Bruce Cramer: to have a you know, I would want to understand why that happened just in case they felt they weren't getting the recognition they needed to. If it's a fellow team member, maybe they feel like they're undervalued. So I want, you know, empathy. I understand that. So I kind of understand, maybe, why it was exaggerated a little bit. What what you claim to do versus what I was a part of
00:50:55.017 --> 00:51:08.400 Bruce Cramer: the next thing I would do is once we have that conversation. And and she he, I realize. Listen! It happened. Let's move forward.
00:51:08.510 --> 00:51:23.440 Bruce Cramer: I would hope and ask that that person course corrects in the next meeting to say, you know, to practice a little humility, because it's very good for the soul. Trust me, I've had to do it many times.
00:51:23.450 --> 00:51:48.180 Bruce Cramer: The walk of shame is okay. It's a learning opportunity. It's just, you know, and I'm not asking for that person to say, oh, I apologize. I just say, Hey, you know, last week, when we spoke there was actually, you know, 2 or 3 of us that were involved in that. I would want them to grow as an individual that. Okay, let's get that record set right.
00:51:48.509 --> 00:51:59.679 Bruce Cramer: But I would do that one on one, and if then, if if it never got set right. That's fine. I move forward. I'm not going to make a big deal about it. It's not gonna hurt me at all.
00:52:01.200 --> 00:52:03.899 nawtej dosanjh: Great. It's amazing learning.
00:52:03.900 --> 00:52:06.170 Angie Snowball: Back to self confidence, right?
00:52:06.780 --> 00:52:07.180 Bruce Cramer: Yup!
00:52:07.180 --> 00:52:12.099 nawtej dosanjh: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Having having the co- confidence to to do that. Great answers. Guys.
00:52:12.100 --> 00:52:13.130 Angie Snowball: Thank you.
00:52:13.130 --> 00:52:34.730 nawtej dosanjh: 1 million. Well, 1,000,001st of all, 1 million points to both of you. Okay. And I'm going to come in and just talk about what I did 20 years, 30, 40 years ago. So I think probably I I don't know what my recollections are. Precisely, but just thinking back. I think I probably would have just sat there.
00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:41.780 nawtej dosanjh: been upset and annoyed, and not done, but not done anything about it.
00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:45.690 nawtej dosanjh: Then, later on, I probably had a period of
00:52:46.235 --> 00:52:55.709 nawtej dosanjh: I would have probably had a period where I wouldn't have said anything, but I would have raised my eyebrows. My body, look, language would have told told the story.
00:52:57.490 --> 00:53:01.800 nawtej dosanjh: But but but now, light.
00:53:02.030 --> 00:53:12.640 nawtej dosanjh: I think the truth is, I don't expect anybody to do to be like my expectations of everybody is that they don't do that sort of thing, and they don't.
00:53:13.570 --> 00:53:15.689 nawtej dosanjh: you know. Maybe.
00:53:16.020 --> 00:53:16.830 Angie Snowball: Just that either.
00:53:16.830 --> 00:53:25.799 nawtej dosanjh: I'm just in circles of people that just would not do that. I don't know anybody that that would would do that. So
00:53:26.362 --> 00:53:51.060 nawtej dosanjh: because it's a pet hate of mine. I just don't know anybody that would do that. And you know, you guys are great, wonderful at how you flatter people around you when they've done something. You go on about, Bruce. You go on about it so many when I've done something. I did something once, like 6 months ago. You keep going back to it over and over again. Oh.
00:53:51.200 --> 00:54:11.430 nawtej dosanjh: and it was not as you did that you did that, and you keep coming back to it. I mean, you're you're incredibly good like that. But both of you, you're amazing. But anyway, I'm not going to flatter you because I've got. I want to do something else with our listeners before we go. And then I want you guys to thank our listeners.
00:54:12.063 --> 00:54:22.839 nawtej dosanjh: properly. So here's an exercise for everybody who's listening. At the end of the the day, you know, we talked about not not naming our emotions, not being able to name, name motions
00:54:22.890 --> 00:54:29.060 nawtej dosanjh: jot down 3 emotions you felt, and why
00:54:29.220 --> 00:54:31.810 nawtej dosanjh: and what you believe triggered them.
00:54:32.570 --> 00:54:34.449 nawtej dosanjh: Don't add a judgment.
00:54:35.494 --> 00:54:40.250 nawtej dosanjh: Don't, don't! Don't make excuse or judgment.
00:54:40.560 --> 00:54:42.820 nawtej dosanjh: It's just being aware.
00:54:43.780 --> 00:54:47.779 nawtej dosanjh: So I let I just want everyone to practice
00:54:48.760 --> 00:54:52.970 nawtej dosanjh: what they're feeling and naming it and exploring it.
00:54:54.280 --> 00:55:07.070 nawtej dosanjh: because, as I said very often we know how we feel, but we don't always know what. Why, we're feeling that. And the trigger may have been something unrelated to what we're feeling. So
00:55:07.576 --> 00:55:18.400 nawtej dosanjh: just that exercise 3 emotions jot them down. And what triggered them? What you believe triggered them. So we can get used to thinking about that.
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:43.179 nawtej dosanjh: guys. It's been a great show. I've really enjoyed your interaction as ever. It's been wonderful to learn more about you in this. And you know, I say this with complete honesty in this totally unrehearsed way. I didn't know what you guys were going to say. So one day I'm going to ask you questions. And and you're going to say something. And I'm going to think, Wow, I wish I hadn't asked that question.
00:55:43.180 --> 00:55:53.340 nawtej dosanjh: But anyway, I'm going to leave it to you guys, both of you, just to thank our listeners. Thank you from me, too, to all our listeners, Gobsmack, that you listen
00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:59.709 nawtej dosanjh: every week, really really grateful. But over to you 2 to to finish off.
00:56:00.490 --> 00:56:05.470 Angie Snowball: Well, I'm gonna let Bruce do it. Thanks everybody. Bruce, you do your thing. Dude.
00:56:06.095 --> 00:56:06.360 Bruce Cramer: Well.
00:56:06.360 --> 00:56:06.720 Angie Snowball: Really good.
00:56:06.720 --> 00:56:23.989 Bruce Cramer: That ends this round of serving up success with the splash. We are going to be back with a deeper dive around Eq. So stay tuned. But also next week Angie leads a discussion on being promoted. How do you get promoted?
00:56:24.587 --> 00:56:37.630 Bruce Cramer: There were elements of that in today's discussion, but until then cheers to emotional intelligence and mixing success with a splash of self-awareness.
00:56:37.740 --> 00:56:39.000 Bruce Cramer: Thank you, everybody.
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:41.280 Bruce Cramer: We'll see you until next time.
00:56:41.280 --> 00:56:43.120 Bruce Cramer: Oh, where.
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