This week’s "Serving Up Success with a Splash" podcast "Caipihrian & Creating Conversations," is going to be a good one. Who do you know who sits in the corner at a party? Who do you know who waits for everyone else to talk before they join? Our hosts Bruce Cramer the Corporate Cockroach and Angie Snowball the Renaissance Woman will be taking on the challenge to change that. Dr. Nawtej Dosanjh the Strategy Doctor. will be flying towards paradise but no worries, he's back next week!
Centered around tangible action ideas and context of all kinds, these two are sure to shake up some good stuff. Join them live where they are ready and waiting to hear your conversation challenges and find ways to overcome them as we sip our way to success!
Cocktail of the Week –Caipirinhas!
Ingredients:
• 1 lime, cut into wedges
• 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar
• 2 ounces of cachaça
• Crushed ice
Instructions:
• Muddle the lime wedges with sugar in a glass until the sugar dissolves and the lime juice is released.
• Add the cachaça.
• Fill the glass with crushed ice.
• Stir well to combine.
• Garnish with a lime wedge
www.angiesnowball.com
brucecramer.com
https://iniciahub.com/
#EntertainingBusinessPodcast
#BusinessPodcast
#EntrepreneurLife
#BusinessTips
#SuccessMindset
#FunBusiness
#Entrepreneurship
#BusinessTalk
#SmallBusinessLife
#BusinessGrowth
#BusinessWithPurpose
#LetsTalkBusiness
#BusinessSuccessTips
Hosts Angie Snowball and Bruce Cramer introduce a lively episode on how to create meaningful conversations, emphasizing that not everyone finds it easy to start or sustain small talk. They discuss the "three C’s" of communication—clear, concise, and curious—while stressing that true connection begins with listening to understand, not just to respond. Through stories, humor, and a guest video from Dr. Nawtej, they encourage introverts and quiet observers to embrace their natural strengths as excellent conversationalists who lead with awareness, presence, and authentic curiosity.
Angie and Bruce discuss the importance of staying true to your communication style, emphasizing that authenticity and awareness matter more than rigid rules when connecting with others. They share tips on reading body language, asking open-ended and inclusive questions, and avoiding judgmental language—especially reframing “why” questions into “how” and “what” to invite reflection rather than defensiveness. The hosts also highlight the enduring value of real conversation in a digital age, encouraging listeners to engage meaningfully despite modern text-based habits, and even suggesting tools like ChatGPT to help with tone when drafting sensitive written messages.
Angie and Bruce emphasize the emotional and relational foundation of effective communication, explaining that people remember how you make them feel more than what you say. They discuss the importance of being authentic, curious, and vulnerable—especially in small talk—while recognizing that intelligent people often struggle with imperfection in casual conversations. Through storytelling, humor, and real-life examples, they underscore that the best learning and connection come from open, respectful dialogue, not perfection or over-preparation.
Angie and Bruce wrap up with practical guidance on navigating difficult conversations—emphasizing listening, curiosity, and respectful redirection when things go off track. They stress the importance of owning your part in any miscommunication and using empathy and observation to ensure people feel heard, especially in close relationships or team dynamics. Closing with humor and warmth, they encourage self-awareness, authentic communication, and preview next week's topic on DISC personality styles as a powerful tool for deeper understanding.
00:00:47.090 --> 00:00:57.019 Angie Snowball: Hello, everybody! Welcome back to serving up success with a splash. I'm Angie Snowball, and this is my lively co-host, Bruce Kramer. Say, Hi, Bruce.
00:00:58.380 --> 00:01:00.716 Angie Snowball: Oh, we gotta take yourself off mute.
00:01:01.350 --> 00:01:02.875 Angie Snowball: But did you catch his moves?
00:01:03.130 --> 00:01:05.770 Bruce Cramer: Okay, hold on. I think I'm still muted.
00:01:05.770 --> 00:01:07.625 Angie Snowball: No, you're good now.
00:01:08.090 --> 00:01:09.660 Bruce Cramer: Thank you for joining.
00:01:09.660 --> 00:01:34.649 Angie Snowball: Yes, thank you for joining. Thank you for coming back. We're happy to see everybody here. Dr. Natej is not with us today, apparently flying to Portugal to check out vineyards was more fun than us. I don't think so, but that's where he is. He's literally in the airplane, but we do have a surprise message from him somewhere down the road here. And as always, let's start with the splash. So this week's episode
00:01:34.650 --> 00:01:43.940 Angie Snowball: is going to be about creating conversations. Not everybody is like Bruce and I, and can't stop talking. Some people have trouble starting, talking, or
00:01:43.940 --> 00:02:06.710 Angie Snowball: keeping the conversation going or having different styles, and then they feel awkward and they get quiet. I mean, it's foreign to Bruce and I. But we get it. So we're gonna talk about creating conversations. And so, whether you think you're good at small talk, or maybe, if you think you're great at small talk, I really think everybody will pick up something, because we're talking on both ends of the spectrum here. So, 1st and foremost, though, the drink
00:02:06.710 --> 00:02:30.389 Angie Snowball: piperinhas, I found this through my German buddies. Actually, it's a Brazilian drink, and then the Brazilian showed me how to make it a little differently. But the recipe is basically you cut up one lime, you take some cane sugar. So it's going to be like some type of brown, like larger sugar. And you muddle those together with something like this little squisher Guy.
00:02:30.650 --> 00:02:53.170 Angie Snowball: and then you just put in 2 ounces of Casa Sha, which is a Brazilian rum, and it does not taste like our rum, so no, it cannot be Captain Morgan's. It has to be Casa sha. There's 51, and P. 2 are some of my favorites, but they were really hard to find. Pour that in. Put some ice, and voila! You have a delicious, refreshing summer drink so
00:02:53.170 --> 00:02:53.910 Angie Snowball: bears.
00:02:53.910 --> 00:02:55.069 Angie Snowball: Yes, oh, my God!
00:02:55.070 --> 00:02:55.680 Bruce Cramer: Cheers.
00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:57.910 Angie Snowball: Believe I almost had bad luck, not cheersing.
00:03:00.300 --> 00:03:24.139 Angie Snowball: Okay? So we're going to jump in to the communication skills, create conversation type of stuff. Now that we're all having fun, and we're drinking again. Don't forget you're more fun. We're more fun if you have a cocktail, so join us with that. And also this is just more fun with you. So if you have questions, if you have conversations, anything you have to say
00:03:24.140 --> 00:03:31.069 Angie Snowball: is more important or relevant than what Bruce and I have to say so chime on in comment in there. We're excited to hear from you.
00:03:31.320 --> 00:03:58.099 Angie Snowball: but going back to communication. So I think most people know me as the Linkedin lady, but I do also communication, coaching and consulting, and as that coach, I know that one of the most popular things to teach are the 3 C's. So I told Bruce I was like, what do you think the 3 C's are? And what would that mean to you, and that we don't. I have no idea what he's going to tell me. So this is going to be fun. Think the 3 C's to communication are Bruce. Well.
00:03:58.100 --> 00:04:26.430 Bruce Cramer: Well, you know, I saw it in the in the brief description, so I had to. I had to look, but I, as usual, I have a different opinion, and so I do agree with being clear and concise, and part of the reason why I agree with that. It's been a lifelong challenge for someone like me that can talk a lot. So being clear and concise is always top of mind.
00:04:26.490 --> 00:04:43.230 Bruce Cramer: But you know, one of the things I've noticed, and you know a lot of this. I've groomed at cocktail parties. I love a party so it doesn't have to be a cocktail any party football whatever. But one of the things that gets me really comfortable.
00:04:43.460 --> 00:04:51.509 Bruce Cramer: and and I believe it's, in my opinion, the the most important of the 3 C's is curiosity.
00:04:51.690 --> 00:05:02.380 Bruce Cramer: If you walk into a room, a bar, I don't care where you are with a group of people. Just be curious. Just look around and go.
00:05:02.690 --> 00:05:21.569 Bruce Cramer: God, that person looks interesting, or this group of people seem to be having. If you lead with curiosity, it makes the idea of conversation so much easier because it's not about you impressing anybody or whatever. You're really just curious to meet these folks or this individual.
00:05:21.570 --> 00:05:22.290 Angie Snowball: Yeah, and.
00:05:22.290 --> 00:05:23.000 Bruce Cramer: That's all. I.
00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:24.430 Angie Snowball: Opportunity to.
00:05:24.430 --> 00:05:24.760 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:05:24.760 --> 00:05:25.789 Angie Snowball: Talk, to.
00:05:25.790 --> 00:05:26.760 Bruce Cramer: So that's all.
00:05:26.760 --> 00:05:27.270 Angie Snowball: You know.
00:05:27.270 --> 00:05:30.559 Bruce Cramer: Yeah. So I say, clear, concise, and be curious.
00:05:30.560 --> 00:05:55.529 Angie Snowball: Yeah, I like that way better. The 3 C's, actually, you do see them different ways. So you see, clear, concise, totally agree and correct. That's an interesting one. But sometimes, you see, consistent. But I think what's most important about the 3 C's is they really don't matter. I mean, they're not relative. It's the last thing I start with. I hate when people walk in like I have an agenda. This is what I'm going to do. How do you know what I need? You don't
00:05:55.530 --> 00:06:04.019 Angie Snowball: even know me yet, so I never actually start with the 3 C's. I throw them out the window. I think the most important thing, if you want to create a conversation.
00:06:04.020 --> 00:06:10.669 Angie Snowball: is to listen, to, res, not to respond, but to understand. So listen, to understand.
00:06:11.030 --> 00:06:32.620 Angie Snowball: And what's interesting is that makes the shy guy in the room probably the best conversationalist. They're afraid they and I think the problem is, they think they're not because, like Oh, I don't really like talking. I'm not really sure about this. I think they have the best conversations, don't you, Bruce? Because they listen. They observe, they have information to have a quality conversation versus me. Who's God knows what I'm talking about.
00:06:32.820 --> 00:06:38.760 Bruce Cramer: Absolutely, and whether you're networking professional. Or again, you're at that party.
00:06:38.790 --> 00:07:04.170 Bruce Cramer: I personally, the the people that are shy I actually like to to engage with them, because there's always, you know, there's always a couple of us at the party, or there's that person that just can't shut up. And so I want to say to all of the shy folks that are listening to this, you're a primary target at a networking vet. Whether it's perfect people.
00:07:04.170 --> 00:07:07.190 Angie Snowball: Look out! We're coming after you.
00:07:07.588 --> 00:07:14.760 Bruce Cramer: And so, and I'll talk a little bit more about that, because a big big part of communication
00:07:14.900 --> 00:07:20.549 Bruce Cramer: to be successful is presence presence. Your presence.
00:07:20.550 --> 00:07:22.580 Angie Snowball: Yes, in the moment.
00:07:22.580 --> 00:07:42.529 Bruce Cramer: Yes, and the nonverbal. And one of the interesting stats that's always been thrown at me is that 7% is related to the words you use so for all of you out there that are shy and like Oh, shoot! I hope I don't say anything stupid.
00:07:42.530 --> 00:07:57.070 Bruce Cramer: Trust me, I've been there done that? It doesn't hurt you because only 7% of someone looking at you evaluating whether this is going to be a good conversation. Only 7% has to do with words.
00:07:57.070 --> 00:08:21.249 Angie Snowball: Yeah, it's all about like one big thing is making eye contact and keeping it. Like most good conversations, start with eye contact, especially if you're in a big room and you don't know who you're going to talk to. It's really just look around trying to find some common ground, you know. Maybe it's that you like somebody's shoes, or you have the same kind of hat. Maybe they're wearing a sports team thing, and
00:08:21.250 --> 00:08:41.320 Angie Snowball: you can ask the open-ended question. So to me, that's where communication starts. Talking is the last piece. Talking is the last piece of communication. First, st it's listening, it's looking around, and it's learning about the people. So you can ask open-ended questions. That to me is the key to open-ended questions, because.
00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:49.999 Angie Snowball: I mean, I also had a teenager, Bruce, I, Bruce and Noel, collect children. I think they have 6.
00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:50.686 Bruce Cramer: To that.
00:08:51.030 --> 00:08:58.320 Angie Snowball: As a teenager having a teenager. The worst thing you can do is, did you have a good day? Yeah.
00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:09.859 Angie Snowball: Did you learn something? Yeah, like, you have to ask open ended questions. And that goes for all the world, I think. Do you have the same experience, Bruce, when you're talking with somebody. The difference between asking yes, no, and open ended.
00:09:09.860 --> 00:09:14.261 Bruce Cramer: Yeah. Well, you know, naturally, as as a coach.
00:09:14.870 --> 00:09:25.160 Bruce Cramer: we're heavily coached that it's all about open, open-ended questions. The other, the other thing I want to add in there is also your tone.
00:09:25.490 --> 00:09:51.989 Bruce Cramer: If you just, you know, if you're you know, if you're upbeat, you know, people can detect in your tone. Oh, this good! This is safe! And again, for the folks that are shy you come across this being safe because you're not dominating, and you know, you're not intimidating. And so if you have a nice tone, people are going to lock in the only other thing.
00:09:52.530 --> 00:10:11.800 Bruce Cramer: Yeah. The only other thing I'm going to add to that is 55% is body language. So do you bring energy. And again back to Angie, a big part of people describing somebody that's energetic is they really
00:10:12.130 --> 00:10:18.659 Bruce Cramer: have that level of curiosity and authenticity that they want to hear about. You.
00:10:18.660 --> 00:10:20.879 Angie Snowball: Yeah, that's what I like. Curious, if I do get.
00:10:20.880 --> 00:10:21.200 Bruce Cramer: That's.
00:10:21.200 --> 00:10:22.959 Angie Snowball: Sees again. That's what I'm using.
00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:28.359 Bruce Cramer: Yeah. But but again, you know, the energy is that you're willing to listen.
00:10:28.540 --> 00:10:42.940 Bruce Cramer: you're really engaged. So 55% energy, 35% tone. 7% words was a study that was done on this a decade ago and holds true today.
00:10:42.940 --> 00:11:08.259 Angie Snowball: That's so true, I will say, though, too, I was working with this lady once. She's if she's listening, she'll know who she is. But I was talking about smile. We did a whole workshop on body tone. It was a organization that was struggling to keep their team together. There's a lot of arguments, fights, and disagreements. And I said again, we talked exactly what you're saying, like, 90% of this is another thing. I say, people hear how they feel.
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:34.890 Angie Snowball: not what you say. So you really have to pay attention, because you might say something that comes like you can say, Hi, how's your day, and you'll be like, Oh, my God! Why are you asking me stupid questions? Right? I mean, because they're not feeling good. They're having a bad day. You can say, Hi! How's your day? Another time? And then they're all excited, and they're like, Oh, that's great! You know what I mean. So. But that body language is so important. And I'm gonna I want to give the surprise message from Nata
00:11:34.890 --> 00:11:41.629 Angie Snowball: Edge here. So I'm going to cut myself off and we'll come back to body language after, because something else we need to talk about resting bitch face.
00:11:41.630 --> 00:12:02.379 Angie Snowball: That's a huge problem. And there's a lot of people that have it so. But we wanted so Bruce and I talk all the time we can't stop talking is our problem, and we definitely wanted to have Natej. Share his what his side of the story is here. So we brought a little video that I'm going to share hopefully
00:12:04.450 --> 00:12:11.219 Angie Snowball: tips about this but when I, because when I walk into a room full of strangers
00:12:12.392 --> 00:12:16.917 Angie Snowball: whether it's a a professional event, or a or a
00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:25.490 Angie Snowball: a party, a, you know, a fun party. If I don't know anybody more likely than not
00:12:25.660 --> 00:12:28.670 Angie Snowball: I'm going to just be quiet in the corner.
00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:52.500 Angie Snowball: I'll drink my my glass of water very slowly. And if I have a glass of wine I'll drink it too fast. And and I'm slightly uncomfortable. I don't really have the the wherewithal to to start a conversation. Sometimes I'm lucky. You know. Good to say, I don't know 10% of the time. I'm lucky that somebody comes up and talks to me.
00:12:52.770 --> 00:13:16.750 Angie Snowball: or sometimes, just as I'm walking into a room, something will happen where I have to talk to somebody, and then it's okay. But this starting a conversation myself, whether it's a professional event, or something like a party or a fun party. Yeah, that's difficult for me. That's where all my introverted tendencies will come out where I don't know anybody.
00:13:17.060 --> 00:13:21.029 Angie Snowball: So I'm gonna ask you one more question. And you can tell this isn't scripted.
00:13:21.030 --> 00:13:27.950 www.TalkRadio.nyc: Your kids, but my husband and I'm gonna throw him under the bus. That's okay. He's married. He can't go anywhere. He.
00:13:27.950 --> 00:13:53.530 Bruce Cramer: He's a lot like you, too, and one of the things that I told him when we started talking about it was, don't be anxious. Don't worry about it like I think it's a wonderful skill to not talk. I think it's a wonderful skill to observe and to listen, and that I truly believe the right conversation will come to you, or the right conversation. Starter will come to you because you have been observing and listening.
00:13:53.530 --> 00:14:02.080 www.TalkRadio.nyc: What would you say to that kind of advice? Does that sound ridiculous to you, or does that sound like? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's not a bad thing that I'm the quiet guy.
00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:20.659 www.TalkRadio.nyc: So I think that's good advice. And here's why I think it's good advice, because if I tried to take on somebody else's tips. It would. It would backfire on me because I don't. I don't really do small talk. I'm incapable of doing small talk.
00:14:21.255 --> 00:14:31.220 www.TalkRadio.nyc: So it's much better advice for me to tell me to. Well, if you haven't been talking, you've obviously been observing which I have.
00:14:31.330 --> 00:15:00.220 www.TalkRadio.nyc: and of course, then, if you're observing, that could be the basis of that, or something in the observation could be the conversation starter. So I hadn't thought about that before, and I'd love for you and Bruce, because obviously I'm going to watch the recording of the show I'd love for you and Bruce to fill it with tips about how I can just start those conversations. But being true to my my personality, where I can't do small talk.
00:15:02.410 --> 00:15:09.290 Angie Snowball: Okay. So that was what Natasha had to say. And Bruce and I are going to fill you with tips after we come back from the break.
00:16:56.720 --> 00:17:01.660 Angie Snowball: Okay, we're back. I was looking for your moves. There, Bruce. I missed them.
00:17:03.700 --> 00:17:04.250 Angie Snowball: Oh.
00:17:04.250 --> 00:17:05.530 Bruce Cramer: A little slow.
00:17:05.530 --> 00:17:23.850 Angie Snowball: So I just wanted to share, because I thought that was so funny that he's so different than us. We actually had a really good conversation, but I cut it down to last pieces, and one thing, he said was, you have to be true to yourself. So in communication coaching, that's what I
00:17:23.849 --> 00:17:52.260 Angie Snowball: is. One of the biggest challenges is you can't give a list of things to do. You can give thoughts and themes, but you can't say, do this. So going back to the lady before she she definitely had resting witch face, and she knew she did like she told people she's like, just so, you know I like you very much. I just have resting witch face, and that's what I do. So instead of like she's like, if I changed it. People would think something's wrong. She's like that's when people would be scared.
00:17:52.270 --> 00:18:15.210 Angie Snowball: So I think there's a lot to be said about trying to keep your your authenticity, both with what you're saying and what you're doing. Nobody expects Nantej to like. Run into the room and take over the party, but knowing and again going back to our 1st episode. Awareness? Right? Then we can. We know. That's, I think, why Bruce and I like to pick people off the walls.
00:18:15.430 --> 00:18:24.230 Angie Snowball: because I know that I know people like that, and I know that they're probably going to be the most interesting people in the room. You just got to get them started. Would you say that, Bruce? Would you agree.
00:18:24.230 --> 00:18:51.029 Bruce Cramer: Absolutely. I you know I wanted to come back to you know we talked a little bit about how you show up your nonverbal. Are you bringing a positive energy with you? The other thing is, you know, the nonverbal, of course, and when you're in a conversation is, be very much aware of that, as you're speaking, because next week we're going to do a different, a much deeper dive
00:18:51.050 --> 00:18:57.460 Bruce Cramer: around the different personality types, and how they would prefer to be communicated with.
00:18:57.460 --> 00:19:23.799 Bruce Cramer: But understand, you can pick up without any of that knowledge. If you got somebody you're talking to, and they're rolling their eyes. It's probably a sign that maybe you're talking a little too much, but pay attention to everyone else's nonverbal to really hone in. Are you actually being heard? And then, as Angie pointed out, you know, the biggest tool in the box is listening.
00:19:24.030 --> 00:19:27.049 Bruce Cramer: If you're a good listener, people are going to talk.
00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:57.120 Angie Snowball: Listen and observe. So that's another thing, like, when you walk into the room for a conversation starter, look around, find common ground, because there will be something. Maybe it's their hair. Maybe it's their shoes. Maybe you can tell by the way someone dresses that they're more like you or less like you, or at least in the same mood as you or not. So I think, observing also helps you find that common ground to start the conversation, and don't be afraid to use cheesy stuff.
00:19:57.120 --> 00:20:25.719 Angie Snowball: I mean, I remember during Covid when it was getting bad. Well, it actually wasn't even getting bad. It was like 2 weeks in, and I told my husband like, Oh, my God! If I don't meet a stranger, I'm going to lose my mind like I just can't stand not talking to people, and everybody talks back to me. I don't know if they like it or not, but I enjoy it, but it's interesting. It doesn't matter what it is, you know it can be a guy who's totally opposite me, sitting there eating popcorn. And you can say, Hey, how's the popcorn.
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:44.590 Angie Snowball: Is it stale? Is it good? Should I get some? So anything, if you're observing, these little observations can be the beginning of a conversation starter. So I think those are important things to do. The next thing that we're in I think we should talk about. So we got tone. We got body language
00:20:44.750 --> 00:21:08.599 Angie Snowball: also the type of language, especially in business. Don't treat your clients like they're stupid, but also don't talk over them and talk about Ltvs and Sqls and Tps reports when they don't know what you're talking about, or if you're a teenager, don't tell me skibbity, because I have to Google that crap and know what that means. So know who you're talking to, so that you're
00:21:08.600 --> 00:21:15.979 Angie Snowball: meeting them at the same level. Because if again, people hear how they feel, not what you say if you make them feel stupid.
00:21:15.980 --> 00:21:22.079 Angie Snowball: that's not going to be a good thing. So pay attention to your audience in that way, too. Okay, Bruce. Thoughts on that.
00:21:22.220 --> 00:21:41.870 Bruce Cramer: Well, I you know you don't want to correct. You don't want to interrupt, and you don't want to come across as being judgmental either. And you know often people the 1st thing they say to you, and again, professionally, at a networking like a B and I or a Chamber
00:21:41.970 --> 00:21:48.019 Bruce Cramer: of commerce meeting or at a cocktail party, you have to pay. What do you do?
00:21:48.150 --> 00:21:49.240 Bruce Cramer: What do you do?
00:21:49.540 --> 00:21:51.179 Angie Snowball: Such a stupid question. Don't answer.
00:21:51.180 --> 00:22:03.840 Bruce Cramer: And you could take a lot of bad information from that response. I think a better thing to say is, what do you enjoy most about what you do.
00:22:04.120 --> 00:22:04.770 Angie Snowball: Love it.
00:22:04.770 --> 00:22:23.289 Bruce Cramer: That is, yeah. I can't remember who told me that I had. Well, we still have as friends. We haven't been together now in about 3, 4 years, but these folks were broker of people. They had parties for the sole purpose of bringing people together.
00:22:23.290 --> 00:22:46.050 Bruce Cramer: and you know I we Noel and I developed many relationships outside of their circle just by getting to know people, and then they introduce you to more people. But they are very good at, you know they're the ones that say, what do you enjoy most about what you do, or they're not afraid to walk up and say, Oh, hey! That's a really cool shirt.
00:22:46.670 --> 00:22:47.080 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:22:47.080 --> 00:22:47.510 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:22:47.510 --> 00:22:48.280 Bruce Cramer: The other thing.
00:22:48.280 --> 00:22:49.480 Angie Snowball: Where did you get it?
00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:49.810 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:22:49.810 --> 00:22:51.860 Angie Snowball: Other thing don't just throw yeah.
00:22:51.860 --> 00:23:00.539 Angie Snowball: because that's sometimes the missed piece of small talk that's a really cool shirt at the end. It's a really cool shirt. Where'd you get it? Yeah, that kind of stuff.
00:23:00.540 --> 00:23:20.069 Bruce Cramer: And the other thing is, stay away from why. And I've learned this the hard way, especially if you're in a conversation, and you don't really know the people well yet, and it gets into something like politics, religion, it typically well, why do you think that that.
00:23:20.070 --> 00:23:21.330 Angie Snowball: Before you know it, you want to jump.
00:23:21.330 --> 00:23:43.039 Bruce Cramer: That'll elicit. It's, you know, you know, a better way to say, you know. Why did you do that? Is, how did that shape your thinking, or, you know, use terms like how and what versus? Why, why, comes across much more judgmental. So you stick with well, how did you arrive at that.
00:23:43.620 --> 00:23:44.310 Angie Snowball: Yeah, I think.
00:23:44.310 --> 00:23:47.889 Bruce Cramer: The hell. Do you think that there's a big difference.
00:23:47.890 --> 00:23:48.860 Angie Snowball: The hell's wrong with you.
00:23:48.860 --> 00:23:52.269 Bruce Cramer: No, I could speak from experience.
00:23:52.270 --> 00:23:54.200 Angie Snowball: I could totally see Bruce sitting there going.
00:23:54.550 --> 00:23:56.320 Angie Snowball: The hell would make you think that.
00:23:57.015 --> 00:23:59.799 Bruce Cramer: That's on the inside.
00:23:59.800 --> 00:24:00.340 Angie Snowball: That's on me.
00:24:00.340 --> 00:24:02.120 Bruce Cramer: Going, are you nuts? But.
00:24:02.120 --> 00:24:02.700 Angie Snowball: Oh, my God!
00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:11.430 Bruce Cramer: Know I and I got to tell you when you change that up, you know again. It's about respect, too. Because who am I to say, Are you nuts? I may be
00:24:11.430 --> 00:24:11.780 Bruce Cramer: yeah.
00:24:11.780 --> 00:24:24.549 Bruce Cramer: that on the inside. But again, remember curiosity. I'm curious as to why you think so differently about that. But I'm not going to say to you, why the hell do you think that way? I'm going to say, how did you arrive at that.
00:24:25.150 --> 00:24:27.320 Angie Snowball: Yeah, see? That's a whole different question. That's.
00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:30.200 Bruce Cramer: Yeah, it's a hold on. And guess what?
00:24:30.540 --> 00:24:51.219 Bruce Cramer: Having been around since dirt, my mind has changed where I've had a hard and fast opinion it's changed because somebody has asked me that. And so when I had to say, Well, why, I can answer that quickly, and it'll be defensively, and it'll be more in your face. But when they say, How did I arrive? Well, now, I got to really think.
00:24:51.380 --> 00:25:01.269 Bruce Cramer: And just maybe, as we engage in this conversation. My thinking is now going to change, because I'm not projecting an opinion.
00:25:01.410 --> 00:25:10.889 Bruce Cramer: I'm trying to listen and understand how they actually arrived at a different opinion.
00:25:11.100 --> 00:25:14.070 Bruce Cramer: and that opens the door for learning.
00:25:14.300 --> 00:25:21.419 Angie Snowball: It does. It's so. It's so crazy how those small words will change it again! How was your day?
00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:48.259 Angie Snowball: What was the best part of your day, you know it's a positive question versus if they had a bad day you might not want to hear that answer. That's the other thing. Don't ask questions. You don't want to hear the answers to, so you need to be careful that you're like opening them up, because sometimes I think that's why people are afraid of small talk like oh, what if they say something I don't agree with? What? If they say something I don't like? Well, crap! That's going to happen. Not everybody's going to say something you
00:25:48.260 --> 00:26:09.549 Angie Snowball: like you just another trick to that. If they do redirect it, that's something that people don't think about. But if they say something you don't like, say, well, I never thought about it that way. Have you ever tried and start something else like, have you ever I'm going scuba, diving this weekend. Have you ever been scuba diving? Redirect it if they say something you don't like
00:26:09.560 --> 00:26:24.830 Angie Snowball: one thing I love now with email, at least, because if I'm mad, I am like definition of Redhead mad. I mean, I am pissed off. Get out of the way you may not. You might want to run. It doesn't happen a lot like it's so rare. But when you do, I mean, just ask Jack, and like, Get out of the house.
00:26:24.830 --> 00:26:40.080 Angie Snowball: But if I'm writing an email, it's so nasty. And I used to tell people just don't send it, sleep on it and come back to it. But now I put it in Chat Gpt or Gemini, I'm like, Hey, can you make this nice? It does it for you.
00:26:40.690 --> 00:27:09.999 Angie Snowball: But I think that's interesting that with even with AI we talked about last week how AI isn't intelligent yet, because it doesn't think but it knows tone like you can tell it when you write prompts, you have to tell it the tone whether you're doing, you know, positive, negative, neutral, professional, personal. So I think that's really interesting that another thing like, if you're struggling, writing, wise communication wise, these tools are available now, which are amazing.
00:27:10.370 --> 00:27:15.840 Angie Snowball: Instead of you know. Hey, can you read my email every time before somebody sends it.
00:27:16.070 --> 00:27:26.090 Bruce Cramer: You know, I and I put a word of caution out there, because, you know, they you know, there's a lot being written about conversation being a lost art.
00:27:26.370 --> 00:27:50.540 Bruce Cramer: And you know I have kids that they'll text each other across the table. They'll literally be in the same room texting. And while there's a place for email texting that sort of communication straight to the point, you know. Certainly it has made us a lot more productive conversation.
00:27:50.740 --> 00:27:55.020 Bruce Cramer: Make no mistake about. It is still the number one tool
00:27:55.190 --> 00:28:10.670 Bruce Cramer: to building meaningful relationships, sharing ideas at a level that everyone not only understands but can engage. And it's still the best way to learn.
00:28:10.800 --> 00:28:12.450 Angie Snowball: Oh, all the numbers agree!
00:28:12.450 --> 00:28:22.590 Bruce Cramer: You know we've said is that when you're in a live conversation, even via zoom, thank God for zoom, because it allows us to do this.
00:28:22.790 --> 00:28:39.369 Bruce Cramer: There is so much you're taking from one another again, going back to the nonverbal, going back to the tone that it makes the whole experience far richer than a text or an email could ever achieve. However.
00:28:39.370 --> 00:28:39.699 Angie Snowball: There's the.
00:28:39.700 --> 00:28:54.820 Bruce Cramer: In mind. You know they all have their place, and they do make us more productive. But if you're if you really want to grow and exceed and succeed. It's you gotta be good at having conversations.
00:28:54.820 --> 00:28:55.230 Angie Snowball: Station.
00:28:55.230 --> 00:28:55.620 Bruce Cramer: Formal.
00:28:55.620 --> 00:28:55.960 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:28:55.960 --> 00:28:56.790 Bruce Cramer: Purpose.
00:28:56.790 --> 00:29:03.410 Angie Snowball: I agree like I would never use script. A conversation with, you know. Chat, gpt, and they do that right? So
00:29:03.410 --> 00:29:06.030 Angie Snowball: oh, yeah. Oh, unfortunately.
00:29:06.030 --> 00:29:27.779 Angie Snowball: Oh, message! Why, you know, go through 1 min to break. Does that mean we're breaking now? I don't know. There's messages coming. We're not sure what's going on. We have a wonderful producer, Jessica Saravin, Jessica Saravin. Sorry she's awesome. Oh, okay. So we are going to go to break. We're going to cut and come back, but I do agree with him eventually. He says things I don't like, but that one I do. So we're going to go to break, and we'll talk more when you get back.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:03.717 Bruce Cramer: It's the drink.
00:31:04.210 --> 00:31:05.569 Angie Snowball: That's hilarious. It's a trick.
00:31:05.570 --> 00:31:06.670 Bruce Cramer: It's starting to hit.
00:31:06.670 --> 00:31:27.489 Angie Snowball: I will tell you, though, those suckers sneak up on you because they're very sweet, so that they do sneak up on you. They're pretty good, and you can put some sparkling water in there if it starts to sneak up on you. I love those drinks where you put water in it, too, because I feel like I'm it's good. I'm hydrating while I'm dehydrated, balances each other out right.
00:31:28.010 --> 00:31:37.099 Angie Snowball: But when we left we were talking about the art of conversation, and one of my favorite quotes of all time when it comes to communication, is George Bernard Shaw, and he says
00:31:37.100 --> 00:32:02.030 Angie Snowball: the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it's taken place. And I think with texting there's so much mist you think you're communicating, but there's so much mist in that, especially when you're just emojiing crap. And you're not even answering me I'm like, is that a yes. Is that a no? Or we're doing this at 3, I mean, even logistics can be lost. But definitely when you're just putting those little words
00:32:02.030 --> 00:32:14.409 Angie Snowball: in in text, I mean, you lose so much. And, like Bruce was saying the energy. There's something that you'll never be able to put into words that's so different. Bruce and I had spoken more times than I could count
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:43.669 Angie Snowball: before I met him in person. We have a great time together. We always laugh. We always have a good time, but I saw him in person, and it was just a totally different way better which I didn't think it could get better. Vibe. It was just like this is exactly what I thought it would be, and there was nothing said differently. Nobody wasn't the person we met. Everybody's totally authentic in this crew. It was just this undescribable thing of the energy of being in person and having conversations in person. So, Bruce, you're dead on
00:32:43.670 --> 00:32:44.809 Angie Snowball: with that like.
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:58.599 Bruce Cramer: Well, well, thank you. The feeling was mutual, but you know, one of the things we haven't talked a lot about yet is, remember, people will remember how you made them feel.
00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:12.710 Bruce Cramer: That's how they remember one of the things you know. I teach sales teams, and and this is a fact. I'm not making this shit up. This is a fact. People buy emotion.
00:33:13.450 --> 00:33:16.789 Bruce Cramer: They use logic
00:33:17.140 --> 00:33:47.099 Bruce Cramer: to validate. Why, they're going to buy, but they buy strictly on emotion. You could put all the facts and figures you want around a particular product or service, but they're basing it on emotion. And then, as they close, you know, as they get ready to turn over the dollars they they validate using logic. Well, if that's true and it is, I'm here to tell you they buy on emotion. What does that come down to?
00:33:47.530 --> 00:33:49.239 Bruce Cramer: Are you likable.
00:33:49.430 --> 00:33:49.750 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:33:49.750 --> 00:33:52.170 Bruce Cramer: Do you feel? Do they like you.
00:33:52.170 --> 00:34:06.460 Angie Snowball: And what makes you likable? What makes you likable is that they feel good around you? And how do you do that? Letting them talk, asking them questions that make them want to share information about themselves
00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:16.060 Angie Snowball: and the body language like keeping yourself open like you're not going to be judgmental, because if you go in there with resting bitch face and say, I'd like you to tell me about your day.
00:34:16.179 --> 00:34:16.710 Angie Snowball: I would
00:34:16.719 --> 00:34:42.279 Angie Snowball: like, Yeah, you can frog off. I'm not telling you anything, and you scare me. But so if you go with a good tone, and you're asking people good questions, they're going to open up to you, and that's how you're going to make them feel better is telling them, letting them give you answers and teach you. Everybody likes to teach deep down. Everybody wants to be able to help somebody deep down. Well, if you're not, I don't want to meet you, but most people, I think, really are like that.
00:34:42.830 --> 00:34:49.009 Bruce Cramer: And the other thing is be vulnerable. It's okay to say, Oh, man.
00:34:49.139 --> 00:35:00.099 Bruce Cramer: that I you know I struggle with that or God, can you. You know I'm not tracking. I'm not sure I understand. Be vulnerable.
00:35:00.100 --> 00:35:02.300 Angie Snowball: Percent ask more questions. That's how.
00:35:02.300 --> 00:35:02.680 Bruce Cramer: Right.
00:35:02.680 --> 00:35:26.330 Angie Snowball: It with really conversations, it may start with one, but keep asking more, and don't be afraid to say I'm sorry. I have no idea what that is. We were talking about the podcast and I was like, man. We're so different. I'm like, especially not Tej, I'm like, he's going to talk about some. I don't even know how to ask the question to. I was like, just ask it. Just put it out there and say, I have no idea. Can you put that in English, please?
00:35:27.336 --> 00:35:30.999 Angie Snowball: But yeah, I think that's really a really good point.
00:35:31.330 --> 00:35:34.739 Bruce Cramer: Yeah, and now I lost my train of thought.
00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:51.199 Bruce Cramer: I mean, you know the doctor is pretty damn bright. I mean I I you know I would never get in a pissing contest with him. He'll bury me. That's 1 of my professors said. Never get in a pissing contest with a skunk. That would be that would be.
00:35:51.200 --> 00:35:53.579 Angie Snowball: So let's write that one down.
00:35:53.580 --> 00:36:20.630 Bruce Cramer: You know, if it comes strictly intellectual. But going back a little bit, and I did lose my train of thought. So bear with me here is this whole thing around likability, and but that comes from having the mindset of never having a conversation based on what you know. Have the conversation based on the importance of learning.
00:36:20.860 --> 00:36:21.210 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:36:21.210 --> 00:36:28.450 Bruce Cramer: Because, you know, we all know the know it alls, and you know I'll be honest. I don't take them as a client. I don't.
00:36:28.450 --> 00:36:29.370 Angie Snowball: It's so weird.
00:36:29.370 --> 00:36:31.399 Angie Snowball: No, don't stand it. I know my.
00:36:31.400 --> 00:36:31.850 Bruce Cramer: Bye.
00:36:31.850 --> 00:36:36.559 Angie Snowball: I actually, you said to somebody the other day, you have all the don't need me. Yeah.
00:36:36.560 --> 00:36:42.020 Bruce Cramer: And what's important to be successful in life is the ability to learn.
00:36:42.240 --> 00:36:48.740 Bruce Cramer: And I mean God. Since I've been in school, the the planetary system is different. The way they do.
00:36:48.740 --> 00:36:55.650 Angie Snowball: Pluto left. Then he came back. I don't even know if Pluto is a planet or not. He can't make up his mind what's going on.
00:36:55.650 --> 00:37:08.080 Bruce Cramer: And this is why I love AI is because what you know today is outdated within 6 months, and this in this.
00:37:08.080 --> 00:37:09.420 Angie Snowball: Nice folks write that word down.
00:37:09.420 --> 00:37:31.950 Bruce Cramer: What you know today is gone in a lot of cases in 6 months. So it's important to keep learning. Well, think of that every time you have a conversation. Yes, will you impart knowledge? And will you share your perspectives? But always it's the curiosity, and always listening for the opportunity to learn.
00:37:31.950 --> 00:37:33.330 Angie Snowball: I'm only going to impart knowledge.
00:37:33.330 --> 00:37:34.760 Angie Snowball: Yeah, and relevant.
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:35.670 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:37:35.670 --> 00:37:36.250 Angie Snowball: Amazing.
00:37:36.250 --> 00:37:49.699 Bruce Cramer: Absolutely. And people say, sometimes I talk on both sides of my mouth. That's because somebody just influenced me. They changed my perspective because I do listen for the sole purpose of learning.
00:37:50.240 --> 00:38:03.690 Bruce Cramer: and I'm curious. I mean I am, you know, especially if you have an opposing view, or you say something that I now you got my curiosity, but by having that mindset, that conversation goes totally different.
00:38:04.520 --> 00:38:17.719 Angie Snowball: Oh, Bruce, we have a comment. This will make you feel better. Somebody says I do that all the time, Bruce, every time in the midst of a word, and my tongue decides to go on its 15 min break. I just.
00:38:17.720 --> 00:38:21.089 Bruce Cramer: Let me tell you sometimes it's more than 15 min.
00:38:21.950 --> 00:38:29.820 Bruce Cramer: you know. That kind of reminds me. That comment made me think of, too. I think a lot of very, very intelligent people.
00:38:29.980 --> 00:38:31.289 Angie Snowball: Hate, small talk.
00:38:31.290 --> 00:38:31.960 Bruce Cramer: Yeah.
00:38:31.960 --> 00:38:35.150 Angie Snowball: And they hate. Oh, go ahead! I was just going to say
00:38:35.150 --> 00:38:38.430 Angie Snowball: I do not think Dr. Natesh is a skunk.
00:38:38.430 --> 00:38:39.000 Angie Snowball: No.
00:38:39.570 --> 00:38:47.229 Bruce Cramer: I'm panicking. I love the man to death, and he's anything but a skunk. But see the context of that.
00:38:48.317 --> 00:38:49.300 Bruce Cramer: You know, never.
00:38:49.300 --> 00:38:49.750 Angie Snowball: See that one.
00:38:49.750 --> 00:39:12.160 Bruce Cramer: Pissing contest with a skunk is because they're really good at it. So my, my context for that was I. If I'm in a debate unless I know I'm pretty seasoned. I stay away because he has so much knowledge. He's just. He's an incredible human being when it comes to intellectual capacity. That's how I meant that I love.
00:39:12.160 --> 00:39:24.470 Angie Snowball: Honestly, that kind of queues up what I was gonna all that kind of cues up. What I was gonna do was really smart people, because Nataj doesn't think he's good at small talk. If you ask Bruce and I, we would not agree.
00:39:24.470 --> 00:39:24.860 Bruce Cramer: All right.
00:39:24.860 --> 00:39:26.500 Angie Snowball: A great conversationalist.
00:39:26.750 --> 00:39:27.730 Bruce Cramer: Oh, my God!
00:39:27.930 --> 00:39:50.860 Angie Snowball: Yeah, but I think very smart people, very, very intelligent people put. And this goes into the personality styles that we'll talk about next week. They put too much pressure on themselves to say the perfect thing, and that's why they kind of. They're more quiet about it. I remember I taught English to business executives for years and number. One thing they wanted to learn was small talk.
00:39:51.140 --> 00:40:14.780 Angie Snowball: You can't really teach small talk. You can give tips, you can do whatever but the biggest thing. And it was all the same challenge. They would panic because these people were extremely intelligent. They were traveling the world setting up automotive plants and doing new things. And the reason they couldn't do small talk is because they would panic. That it wouldn't be perfect. And small talk by definition is imperfect.
00:40:15.260 --> 00:40:16.669 Angie Snowball: There's no plan.
00:40:16.860 --> 00:40:34.299 Angie Snowball: It's just trying to listen and learn and go with the flow. And I think that's sometimes why very intelligent people struggle with small talk because they put too much pressure on themselves, whereas, like we really don't care, I don't care what you say. I just want to. I want to hear. I want to hear you talk so, anyway.
00:40:34.300 --> 00:40:35.919 Bruce Cramer: And like this podcast.
00:40:35.920 --> 00:40:39.270 Angie Snowball: I kinda like this pocket. I just like to hear myself talk.
00:40:39.720 --> 00:40:47.000 Bruce Cramer: Now back to. But this is how you learn best is when you're comfortable you feel safe.
00:40:47.230 --> 00:40:49.140 Bruce Cramer: You're not trying to impress
00:40:49.280 --> 00:41:19.259 Bruce Cramer: anybody. You're just being who you are and carry on a conversation respectfully. That is the best way to learn, and it's interesting, you know. I was fortunate to be able to attend, you know, one of the number one universities in the country, and it wasn't, you know, and I thought these professors they were all in the top, one or 2 in their field.
00:41:19.970 --> 00:41:23.280 Bruce Cramer: but you know how they taught through conversation.
00:41:23.840 --> 00:41:30.900 Bruce Cramer: and I mean it was just they did not sit there and project at us, their knowledge, they.
00:41:30.900 --> 00:41:33.569 Angie Snowball: That's how people always learn storytelling. That's.
00:41:33.570 --> 00:41:34.050 Bruce Cramer: Yes.
00:41:34.050 --> 00:41:38.960 Angie Snowball: Hard of learning. Storytelling is simply conversation, and that's what people remember.
00:41:38.960 --> 00:42:05.869 Bruce Cramer: Yes, and even on, you know, stats and stuff, there was always the element of well, how do you feel about that? Or what do you think about that? And they were looking not for a right answer. They were just looking for a good train of thought that would create more conversation. So pretty soon all 70 students in that class were engaged. But it was conversation.
00:42:05.870 --> 00:42:26.629 Angie Snowball: That's awesome. Bruce and I were talking about this before. We hopped on about learning, because we all have, like online courses. I have a lot of Linkedin online courses. And they're creating some online courses and pmo pods and stuff. And you have to do it in bite-sized chunks because people don't remember, unless they have the chance to go back and do it
00:42:26.630 --> 00:42:51.050 Angie Snowball: to talk about it. That helps us remember otherwise, how many times have you been to like a lecture, or even like a documentary like. I will watch a whole documentary, and I'll maybe remember 2 or 3 things because it was part of the story the rest of it I'm like. I have no idea what kind of brick that was, but I know that that dude fell off the wall, that's what I'm going to remember.
00:42:51.050 --> 00:43:10.440 Angie Snowball: And I think a lot of people work that way through. Stories are easier to remember. Conversation makes everything easier to remember. Okay, we are going to head off to break. And when we come back we're going to talk more because we like it. So, Jesse, whenever you're ready. We are ready for break.
00:43:10.440 --> 00:43:11.980 Bruce Cramer: Send your questions.
00:43:11.980 --> 00:43:12.490 Angie Snowball: Yes.
00:43:12.490 --> 00:43:13.050 Angie Snowball: Question.
00:44:58.300 --> 00:45:00.403 Angie Snowball: It's going down smoothly.
00:45:00.930 --> 00:45:08.661 Angie Snowball: I think you're winning. I think you're beating me all right. I hope everybody else is having their their drinks. So,
00:45:09.140 --> 00:45:13.569 Angie Snowball: yeah, it's just I'm just making sure we got most of the stuff we wanted to talk about.
00:45:13.970 --> 00:45:30.510 Angie Snowball: So I think, like in summary, some of the like most important things. Talking is a two-way street, you know. Conversation involves listening to understand, not to respond. Communication is not just your words. It's what is it Bruce? 7% or something?
00:45:30.510 --> 00:45:31.319 Bruce Cramer: Yeah, 7.
00:45:31.320 --> 00:45:33.889 Angie Snowball: He told me a story about Number 7, and what he did I don't know.
00:45:33.890 --> 00:45:38.939 Bruce Cramer: A very low percentage, 7% words.
00:45:38.940 --> 00:45:39.800 Angie Snowball: Really tiny person.
00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:45.409 Bruce Cramer: Voice and 55%. The energy body language you bring.
00:45:45.410 --> 00:45:45.760 Angie Snowball: Right.
00:45:45.760 --> 00:45:55.520 Bruce Cramer: You know, you know something I want to bring up because when I'm working with business leaders, and we're talking about members of their teams and stuff.
00:45:55.660 --> 00:46:04.069 Bruce Cramer: For some reason, meetings, whether it be corporate America, small medium sized businesses.
00:46:05.160 --> 00:46:13.449 Bruce Cramer: When they do one-on-ones, they tend to make those very formal task, related performance.
00:46:13.720 --> 00:46:15.690 Bruce Cramer: The best thing you can do
00:46:15.930 --> 00:46:21.629 Bruce Cramer: if you want your employees to truly not survive, but thrive.
00:46:22.250 --> 00:46:24.990 Bruce Cramer: Have just simple conversations.
00:46:25.390 --> 00:46:32.969 Bruce Cramer: not about tasks. What's going on in their life? What do they enjoy most about what they're currently doing?
00:46:33.150 --> 00:46:44.340 Bruce Cramer: Take the subject off of where are we in percent to go? What did you think about that decision? No. Again, open-ended questions get to know them
00:46:44.690 --> 00:46:45.820 Bruce Cramer: as people
00:46:46.060 --> 00:46:56.600 Bruce Cramer: allow them to be able to express who they are, how they're feeling about things. That's what it's all about. You are a high performance team. I get to.
00:46:56.600 --> 00:47:04.780 Angie Snowball: Cut you off. I thought we were going to get through, and I didn't cut him off, so I had to come. I just want to let you know. We have a question.
00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:05.769 Bruce Cramer: Oh, okay.
00:47:05.770 --> 00:47:06.940 Angie Snowball: Right? That's so important.
00:47:06.940 --> 00:47:09.189 Bruce Cramer: You're you're supposed to say, shut up!
00:47:09.190 --> 00:47:15.869 Angie Snowball: Did, I said, Hey, guess what, Bruce I get to cut you off. I thought we were going to go a whole episode. Nobody cut Bruce off, but, thank goodness, we got
00:47:16.420 --> 00:47:16.970 Angie Snowball: alright.
00:47:16.970 --> 00:47:25.710 Angie Snowball: All right, then we have a question. So what is the best way to turn a conversation? If you feel the conversation is going badly.
00:47:27.210 --> 00:47:29.340 Angie Snowball: so I feel like
00:47:29.850 --> 00:47:54.580 Angie Snowball: one thing. There's 2 ways. A conversation can go badly. It's either subject. Matter is getting uncomfortable wrong going the wrong direction or somebody's not having a personality mesh a lot of times. That is because people are nervous, and when people are nervous they talk too much. They're redundant. They say the same thing 10 different times, and this guy gets bored. So first, st I think, is decide why
00:47:54.800 --> 00:48:14.270 Angie Snowball: and then, if it's subject matter redirect. I like to use something very generic. It's interesting. That's interesting. And then just ask a whole nother question completely off base. But if it's personality wise. I think the best way to do that is distraction
00:48:14.490 --> 00:48:27.290 Angie Snowball: and find a way that you have to move. Because if you're really in a bad personality grasp. It's not going to get any better like they've probably already had your bad energy, and you just got to move to good energy. Bruce, what do you think.
00:48:27.830 --> 00:48:38.599 Bruce Cramer: Well, you know, so I you know I've oh, gosh! In my career there have been many times, and sometimes I was the the reason for it not going well.
00:48:38.970 --> 00:48:45.719 Bruce Cramer: I literally will stop and say, Is it just me, or does this not feel like it's going? Well.
00:48:46.010 --> 00:48:47.510 Bruce Cramer: I will just.
00:48:47.510 --> 00:48:48.280 Angie Snowball: Put it on the table.
00:48:48.280 --> 00:48:49.740 Angie Snowball: The disk, comfort.
00:48:49.740 --> 00:48:59.160 Bruce Cramer: And I'll say, is it? And I take response, I go. Is it just me, or is this not going well? And then, if if there's a serious
00:48:59.870 --> 00:49:01.689 Bruce Cramer: amount of venting
00:49:01.880 --> 00:49:22.409 Bruce Cramer: one, I'll shut up and listen, you know, because now I'm saying, Hey, listen! Is it just me, or I don't think this is going? Well, that's going to open up. Yeah, because blah blah blah, I've also been in situations where it it got so heated. We just simply call a timeout, you know. And again.
00:49:22.826 --> 00:49:45.320 Bruce Cramer: as one of the people in the conversation, I'll again I'll just say, Hey, we are not getting anywhere. Yeah, yeah, we can agree to disagree. And let's just call a time out and think about this conversation we're having. And let's come back, you know, do you want to get together after lunch.
00:49:45.320 --> 00:49:56.239 Bruce Cramer: or does tomorrow morning work? But I need to think as to how this thing went off the rails, and again. I own it. I'm not blaming them. I'm not saying.
00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:56.630 Angie Snowball: Okay.
00:49:56.630 --> 00:49:59.440 Bruce Cramer: God, you're an asshole, you know. Let's stop this.
00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:00.010 Angie Snowball: That is not.
00:50:00.010 --> 00:50:03.189 Angie Snowball: I'll just say, Hey, tell that person they're an asshole, and leave.
00:50:03.190 --> 00:50:08.429 Bruce Cramer: I'll just say, for whatever reasons this this ain't going. Well, let's call a timeout.
00:50:08.600 --> 00:50:26.669 Angie Snowball: Yeah. And I like that, too. I like to take it on yourself like saying, like, you know what I think. I'm just. I'm just having a rough day. I'm not understanding what's happening, you know. Why don't we just agree to disagree at the moment? And let's try this again tomorrow, you know, and just leave with a good energy that that you can.
00:50:27.940 --> 00:50:30.570 Angie Snowball: and then never go back. No, I'm just kidding.
00:50:30.570 --> 00:50:31.410 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:50:31.410 --> 00:50:31.740 Angie Snowball: But.
00:50:31.740 --> 00:50:46.379 Bruce Cramer: The one thing you don't want to do, though, is let it go. I mean, if the if the conversation went bad and you did have to call a timeout, it must be revisited. The conversation needs to occur.
00:50:46.600 --> 00:50:57.320 Bruce Cramer: and hopefully, upon reflection, when you come back, the last thing you want to do is just end the conversation and walk away like whatever just happened is going to disappear. No, it won't. It'll fester
00:50:57.862 --> 00:50:59.099 Bruce Cramer: and so you.
00:50:59.100 --> 00:51:23.920 Angie Snowball: Especially if it's a close relationship. I mean a stranger. Even a stranger deserves an apology. But in a close relationship anything will fester. I mean, you just always have to say, and we've I have some very uncomfortable stuff with my family, and what we've tended to do is just say, look. You see it this way, and I see it this way, and we just have to respect each other's decisions.
00:51:24.390 --> 00:51:40.549 Angie Snowball: That's just that's kind of where we have to. That's where we have to leave it, because we can't talk about. But you know I went back to it and said, Look, we just can't talk about this. If we're going to remain close and a family, we just have very different opinions. And if we talk about these subjects.
00:51:41.070 --> 00:52:06.040 Angie Snowball: we're not going to get along. We agree to disagree. We just feel differently. I respect your opinion. You have different backgrounds, different thoughts, different experience, than I do. My opinions formed by my background, my experience and thoughts, and I respect that. So even if I don't agree with you or your opinion, and sometimes I'm even like how in the hell is. Can anybody think that way? I realize I recognize, not realize. I
00:52:06.040 --> 00:52:13.899 Angie Snowball: recognize, that it's their they own their feelings, they're allowed to feel and think any way they want, and I respect that.
00:52:15.040 --> 00:52:20.640 Bruce Cramer: It. I love it. It does come down to worst case scenario. We can agree to disagree.
00:52:20.980 --> 00:52:25.709 Bruce Cramer: And if it's a conversation that's prohibiting potentially a decision.
00:52:25.900 --> 00:52:41.359 Bruce Cramer: It's important in any organization people understand at the end of the day, decisions do need to be made. Who who has the one to make that decision. It's important that all people are heard.
00:52:41.920 --> 00:52:50.240 Bruce Cramer: But at the end of the day that doesn't mean somebody doesn't get to make the decision. So we can agree to disagree. However, the decision
00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:51.709 Bruce Cramer: blah blah blah.
00:52:52.100 --> 00:53:17.180 Angie Snowball: And I like what you said. Everybody deserves to be heard, and I think, additionally, it helps to acknowledge that they were heard, especially if you don't agree, it helps to say I hear what you are saying. I am listening to you. I have a different opinion. I have a different way of seeing it. But I have heard you and I will consider it. And I will think through this because just letting them know that they're heard right?
00:53:18.040 --> 00:53:22.929 Angie Snowball: Okay. So we just got our 3 min to ending, saying, Damn these things go so quick.
00:53:22.930 --> 00:53:24.669 Bruce Cramer: Well, we got another question.
00:53:25.590 --> 00:53:29.960 Bruce Cramer: Okay, where is it? We get another question I'm reading. Shut up, Bruce.
00:53:31.350 --> 00:53:33.320 Bruce Cramer: That's our producer, Jesse.
00:53:33.320 --> 00:53:34.190 Angie Snowball: Thank you.
00:53:34.190 --> 00:53:38.410 Bruce Cramer: Bless your heart! I knew when you joined the team. You were perfect for me.
00:53:38.970 --> 00:53:49.937 Angie Snowball: That's funny that we answered that question. But if we only got 3 min, let's I do. So. A lot of stuff we talked about today, just to to summarize what it is.
00:53:50.370 --> 00:54:15.309 Angie Snowball: when you're in conversations, do be clear, do be concise. Don't say the same thing 10 times, and I like Bruce's. We're taking it. We're hacking the 3 C's. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. Go in with positive energy. Have eye contact, right? Watch your body language we'll probably do. I think body language is a good one. We can probably do a whole episode on body language. If anybody
00:54:15.310 --> 00:54:32.189 Angie Snowball: interested in that and another one. Know your audience. Observe, listen, look and learn. Those are. I'd rather do the 3 L's than the 3 C's. Listen, look and learn, because that's listening to under, to understand that to respond. And with that
00:54:32.190 --> 00:54:42.769 Angie Snowball: next week we are going to talk about disc personality. So if you're familiar with disc, I think you'll learn a lot if you're not, it might change your life. I know that since I learned about disc
00:54:42.770 --> 00:55:03.620 Angie Snowball: I have been. I talk in DIS. And C. At my 50th birthday party at a beer garden. There were 8 people at the table talking about. Oh, do you think he's A. D. That's why that happened. I mean, like going through these conversations. So we're going to talk about that next week, Bruce. We're getting closer. What are your last thoughts for this episode.
00:55:03.750 --> 00:55:13.449 Bruce Cramer: You know. Okay, I won't take more than I always be yourself. Always be yourself.
00:55:13.760 --> 00:55:21.530 Bruce Cramer: Always share in the responsibility of any conversation. That's not going well because it takes 2 to converse.
00:55:22.140 --> 00:55:29.330 Bruce Cramer: Remember the number one. Strength of a good conversation is your ability to listen.
00:55:30.820 --> 00:55:31.260 Angie Snowball: Yeah.
00:55:31.260 --> 00:55:32.889 Bruce Cramer: That's all I have.
00:55:32.890 --> 00:55:33.710 Angie Snowball: Alright! Well.
00:55:33.710 --> 00:55:34.179 Bruce Cramer: I'm out.
00:55:34.180 --> 00:56:00.100 Angie Snowball: We're out. That is our wrapping up of serving up success with a splash this week. Please don't forget to share. Tell people that we don't suck, and that we're kind of fun to listen to. If you have questions, topics, let us know. Drop it in there, subscribe like share, do all that jazz, and we can't wait to see you next week, when we'll be talking about disc personalities with Drambooey. I think.
00:56:00.420 --> 00:56:01.040 Bruce Cramer: Yes.
00:56:01.040 --> 00:56:02.470 Angie Snowball: Yeah. Okay. All right.
00:56:02.470 --> 00:56:06.779 Bruce Cramer: Nail an old Wisconsin drink. Thank you all for joining. Thank you.
00:56:06.780 --> 00:56:11.710 Angie Snowball: Thank you. Guys have a great rest of your week and weekend until next time.
00:56:12.540 --> 00:56:12.890 Bruce Cramer: Hi.
Talking Alternative Broadcasting
392 Central Park West Suite 17R - New York, NY 10025
Privacy Policy · Terms & Conditions
Thank You for Visiting TALKRADIO.NYC © 2022.
