An understanding of the impact of menopause and how to give yourself the space and grace to deal with it.
Around your mid-40s to your mid-50s is a stage when all the learning and experience you have gained in your career is starting to bear fruit. You may be progressing into leadership roles or developing your business as an entrepreneur. And then menopause comes along! For some women it is a serious disruptor. My guest this week, Candy Barone, is the CEO of You Empowered Strong. She is a leadership development expert, trainer and executive coach, as well as an international speaker and Amazon best-selling author. She is a catalyst and change agent who works with executives and emerging leaders to help bring “heart” back to leadership while feeding the soul of their business. She will be sharing with us her very current experience of menopause and the adjustments she has made to being a Hot Woman Leader.
Pat starts the show by saying that she will talk to her guest after the first break. After that, she says that wants to dedicate today’s podcast to one of her friends that died last week. She highlights the word friendship and how important it is to keep your friends. Pat mentions that last Tuesday was the International Women’s day and the scene was about breaking the bias special of women’s day. She says that on this special day it is important to be kind to other women and educate ourselves on empathy. Pat adds that she has spent the past ten years banging on about menopause and to try to break down the bias around menopause. She clarifies that these biases are around gender, race, and around disability all of those things are in the mix: ‘when we get to menopause and the more we can enable conversations around it that people don't feel any shame about sulking’.
After this, Pat begins to read some news that has been in the press this week related to women and menopause. One of the news that she and her guest liked the most is the one that Minister Maria cool field has committed to signing a pledge soon to show the government is leading by example and commitment to support about 250,000 women in the civil service. In addition, Pat really likes that policies may allow menopausal women to work from home. However, there are another piece of bad news that she hates: menopausal women are stereotyped as experience at high risk and inefficient at work. One advice that Pat gives to menopausal women is that they should go to work alongside colleagues and talk openly about menopause and how it's impacting all of them. She thinks that it is far more beneficial than trying to work from home. Pat introduces Candy Barone and she asks her how Candy celebrated Women’s day. Candy answers her by saying that she celebrated it by recognizing the strong women leaders who have set the example and who are sort of that combination of nurturing, loving support and kick in the butt when she needs it. Pat agrees with her.
She adds that there are some topics related to women that have been really hard to fight for, like the one of Racism and menopause in black women. She reminds the audience that she had a conversation with the Reverend doctor Terra Linda. They talked about how it affects the stress caused daily by racism and menopause. Pat also adds the case of transgender people since a transgender man will also go through menopause since he takes hormones to become a woman. Finally, Pat says that every year there is another aspect of the women and menopause, so she think she needs to adjust and talk about it in order to help and normalize it.
Coming back from the break, Pat describes who Candy is and what she does. She is the CEO of You Empowered Strong. She is a leadership development expert, trainer and executive coach, as well as an international speaker and Amazon best-selling author. Pat wants to know a little bit more of how she got into mechanical engineering, since for women it is not a really common career. She answers that she had several men in her life who told her she couldn’t but she was really interested in building engines for fighter jets, planes, etc. However, Candy mentions that when she was in her last junior year she realized that she wanted to do something else. She stepped out as an engineer initially and then very quickly moved into more of a sales Business Development, something like a service-oriented type role. She says that she has always wanted to coach and train. ‘I was more concerned about other people's growth and success’.
She also mentions that she still gets people to say how a mechanical engineer becomes an executive coach. She tells us that she considers she can deal better with people and emotions than deal with products and systems. Pat tells Candy that it is a really different change between engineering and coaching and she adds that she really likes the spiritual side of leadership: ‘leadership is really where my heart is’. She also says that when she started to work with the first of many spiritual mentors and guides she learnt a lot and this allowed her to meet herselt and her journey in life. The leadership perspectives have really allowed her to move away from some of the unbalanced aggressive masculine energy that she had when she was a child since she was working in male-dominated fields. Leadership allowed her to discover what her divine feminine look likes and how that works in harmony and balance with her divine masculine.
Pat loves what Candy says and agrees with her. Pat adds that in this case, menopause is a spiritual experience. This is a period which is obviously a big change for women. All changes are uncomfortable because we haven't experienced them before. However, Pat tells us that we should look for the positives around this stage of life since there are so many. Candy answers Pat that for her the menopause has been an incredibly spiritual experience and interesting journey. Not only her sleep has been a change that she noticed when she got the menopause, but she also adds that has had just prolific and very activating energy and spaces.
In this third segment, Pat reminds to the audience and new listeners that she and Candy are talking about the changes that can happen with the menopause and how that can be a really good thing as soon as you start trying to resist or fall down. Pat starts the segment by asking: ‘Have you found challenges for you in being a hot woman entrepreneur?’ Candy answers: yes, there have been a lot of challenges. She mentions what Pat said around letting go of trying to resist the changes. Candy gives different examples related to the menopause and its symptoms: ‘I really have periods where the hot flashes and night sweats get bad’. She adds that there are times that she can't remember her name or she does not remember what she was doing in that moment: ‘literally I just go blank’. She goes on to explain the different symptoms she had during menopause and says that she felt the need not to be ashamed of all the physical and mental changes she was experiencing. She feels this process has been connected to a spiritual journey.
She reminds to menopausal women that they should give themselves compassion and kindness because if you do so, you can reach the biggest opportunities and challenges. Pat adds a really good tip related to this topic: Allow yourself to be compassionate with your body. In addition, she asks Candy if the food she eats and the exercise she does helps her to deal with this period. Candy says yes. She says that it has been very important to exercise when she was going through menopause. At the same time, she was able to identify the activities that made her feel comfortable and happy, like hiking, etc. Pat asks her to give the audience top tips related to how she managed this particular period of her life.Candy answers that if you manage the menopause and its symptoms then at the end of the process you will be an empowered woman.
In this last segment, Pat mentions that they are talking about bringing the menopause in the workplace. She asks Candy what is the most important message she wants to give to the hot women rock audience. She answers ‘Enjoy the journey, honor yourself with this process, and honor the journey and find the joy in it’. She highlights that she is very fortunate that she has a group of friends where they openly talk about these issues like menopause. She says that in general people think that the menopause only happens for people that are old and that’s not true since she is only 48! She adds that this is an experience in which you should share with your friends and not commensurate with them, since it is important to have the support and love between women as well as with your family/friends. Pat agrees with Candy and mentions that women who supported by friends and by family in the workplace has a bathtub more positive experiences menopause, that's why it's so incredibly important.
Candy says that it is really important to have a voice and to show the rest of the world the power of being able to use a word like menopause. Not be embarrassed or ashamed. Women need to feel comfortable about talking about this theme. Finally, Pat asks her the last question and it is about a gift that Candy has for all of us. Candy says that it is an e-book that she created that is the 13 strategies on how to effectively destroy the inconveniences of issues like menopause that you can get in the way. Before the show finishes, Pat adds that if you live in the UK you can come along to her workshop on Sunday March 20th where she is going to be sharing with people how to work with women and menopause.
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:44.550 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show and powering women leaders at menopause.
00:00:45.510 --> 00:00:56.370 Pat Duckworth: Good morning, if you're in America good afternoon if you're in the UK and Europe, good evening if you're in India or in the Far East it's always a pleasure to be with you on a Thursday.
00:00:57.030 --> 00:01:09.570 Pat Duckworth: And how is your week going, how is summer for what sorry i'm jumping ahead, how is spring we're certainly seeing spring here we're seeing all the bulbs and starting to get a little bit warmer so that's great.
00:01:10.380 --> 00:01:21.690 Pat Duckworth: And my guest on the show today is the fabulous candy barone, so we will be talking to her after the break and I know it's going to be a lively conversation because it always is when I talked to candy.
00:01:22.710 --> 00:01:31.860 Pat Duckworth: Moving on those so before I get to the news today, I just wanted to dedicate today's program to a dear friend who died last week, and there were some.
00:01:32.220 --> 00:01:37.920 Pat Duckworth: it's always lessons to be learned when somebody passes and one of the lessons is about friendship.
00:01:38.790 --> 00:01:50.190 Pat Duckworth: That when somebody is very ill of their passing you realize how important friendship is and you start thinking back over all the memories of the.
00:01:50.580 --> 00:01:57.210 Pat Duckworth: The laughs you've had together meals you've enjoyed and how you're going to miss that person and.
00:01:57.840 --> 00:02:08.220 Pat Duckworth: For a while it makes you think I really must getting contact with my friends, I need to make sure that i'm keeping in touch I need to be having those meals and creating those memories.
00:02:08.640 --> 00:02:15.570 Pat Duckworth: We should never forget that we should always remember how important friendship is so I urge you.
00:02:15.930 --> 00:02:22.320 Pat Duckworth: Today, just contact have friends say hi how are you doing because we never know what other people are going through in their lives, anyway.
00:02:23.070 --> 00:02:33.150 Pat Duckworth: And the other thing i'd say is you know this particular friend she had the last two years of really going through very difficult medical treatment.
00:02:33.510 --> 00:02:44.850 Pat Duckworth: And because of covert had to do a lot of it on her own, and I just want to like send out respect to all of you who've been coping with difficult stuff on your own in the past two years.
00:02:45.330 --> 00:02:57.090 Pat Duckworth: Because not being able to be with people it's been difficult and even as friends when we've wanted to reach out to people and haven't been able to it's that feeling of helplessness.
00:02:58.140 --> 00:03:07.080 Pat Duckworth: And there's always a zoom call and there's always a little card that you could send somebody a little gift that just brightens up their day.
00:03:07.440 --> 00:03:18.240 Pat Duckworth: Some little act of kindness i'd really urge you to do an act of kindness this week and keep those friendships alive, because you will miss them when they gone.
00:03:19.980 --> 00:03:26.670 Pat Duckworth: And it was International women's day on Tuesday and the theme was around break the bias.
00:03:27.690 --> 00:03:37.020 Pat Duckworth: and on international women's day I decided that I was firstly going to be kind to myself, because, yes, I am a woman, and you know international women's day.
00:03:37.320 --> 00:03:48.510 Pat Duckworth: let's start with being kind to ourselves, and also about being kind to other women and perhaps educating ourselves on bias i've spent the past 10 years.
00:03:49.050 --> 00:04:00.600 Pat Duckworth: banging on about menopause to try and break down the bias around menopause and the biases around age it's around gender it's also around race.
00:04:01.350 --> 00:04:09.750 Pat Duckworth: All of those things and around disability all of those things are in the mix when we get to menopause and the more.
00:04:10.170 --> 00:04:26.610 Pat Duckworth: We can enable conversations around it, so people don't feel any shame about talking about it, you know kids when I say to women, we need to talk about this in the workplace, they worried about the bias against women getting older, in the workplace.
00:04:27.660 --> 00:04:32.460 Pat Duckworth: And yet, as we get older we acquire more knowledge we acquire more experience.
00:04:33.660 --> 00:04:35.010 Pat Duckworth: And it's kind of crazy.
00:04:35.370 --> 00:04:37.980 www.TalkRadio.nyc: We acquire more knowledge we acquire more it's.
00:04:38.310 --> 00:04:40.530 Pat Duckworth: Getting i'm hearing myself.
00:04:43.140 --> 00:04:45.240 Pat Duckworth: A bit worrying when you start to you so.
00:04:46.440 --> 00:04:50.820 Pat Duckworth: except if you go that's a free wise woman that I can hear their hang on that's me.
00:04:53.610 --> 00:05:07.770 Pat Duckworth: So yeah if we can break the bias at home in personal relationships, if we can break the bias at work and think about that our kindness to other women that's really important as well.
00:05:08.370 --> 00:05:22.620 Pat Duckworth: So let's have a look at what's been in the news because it was International women's day there were various announcements being made so in the sun, which is a UK newspaper, which is a popular newspaper.
00:05:23.190 --> 00:05:37.590 Pat Duckworth: Let me put it that way, if it's what we call a red top and menopausal women in line to get flexible working time off a GP visits and access to quiet rooms Minister reveals, so that is one of our.
00:05:38.940 --> 00:05:50.430 Pat Duckworth: Members of Parliament has Minister hundreds of thousands of menopausal women are in line to get flexible working time off GP visits and access quiet rooms and Minister has told the sun.
00:05:50.940 --> 00:05:57.420 Pat Duckworth: The government is to sign a pledge to give those in the civil service, so people working in the public sector more rights.
00:05:57.870 --> 00:06:10.830 Pat Duckworth: And it's encouraging other employers to do the same to mark International women's day women's Health Minister Maria caulfield has committed to signing the pledge soon soon let's hope it's firstly.
00:06:11.190 --> 00:06:21.510 Pat Duckworth: To show the government is leading by example, it will commit ministers to support about 250,000 women in the civil service so that's absolutely brilliant.
00:06:22.410 --> 00:06:28.440 Pat Duckworth: Policies may allow working from home and time off a doctor's appointments, as well as flexible hours.
00:06:28.860 --> 00:06:33.930 Pat Duckworth: greater access to water coolers a quiet room to help women experience hot flushes and.
00:06:34.260 --> 00:06:43.920 Pat Duckworth: Good ventilation, our other measures on the table is hope that all employers will follow suit, yes, we hope they do simple things that can make a huge difference.
00:06:44.790 --> 00:06:53.820 Pat Duckworth: Another thing from the International Federation of gynecology and obstetrics with the hashtag of break the bias, overcoming multiples discrimination.
00:06:54.330 --> 00:07:08.700 Pat Duckworth: So the fight go Committee, which is the Federation of gynecology and obstetrics on well women health and care is committed to promoting wellness across the live calls and works to break the many biases women face throughout their lives.
00:07:09.180 --> 00:07:20.220 Pat Duckworth: According to Dr he may devour co Chair of the Committee on where women health and care discrimination against mature and menopausal women appears to sit quietly.
00:07:20.490 --> 00:07:27.150 Pat Duckworth: It can go unnoticed and seems widely accepted manifesting itself in all areas of life.
00:07:27.630 --> 00:07:34.380 Pat Duckworth: For instance, instead of seeing workplaces as made up of diverse people of all ages backgrounds and characteristics.
00:07:34.830 --> 00:07:41.370 Pat Duckworth: The overriding message for older workers, seems to be that mature age is a one way ticket to certainly decline.
00:07:41.850 --> 00:07:53.040 Pat Duckworth: This is what we were talking about right at the top, where there can be mental health impacts that result from being marginalized and or locked out of paid employment opportunities.
00:07:53.760 --> 00:08:03.090 Pat Duckworth: menopausal women are stereotyped as experienced but high risk and inefficient Oh, my goodness let's stop that.
00:08:03.570 --> 00:08:12.540 Pat Duckworth: And, as well as educating healthcare workers is essential for reliable and accurate education and information about menopause to be acceptable.
00:08:12.930 --> 00:08:18.510 Pat Duckworth: This will contribute to overcoming stigmas reduce health inequalities and increase awareness.
00:08:19.020 --> 00:08:31.200 Pat Duckworth: Ultimately, Dr Parker underlines how raising awareness, have been a positive symptoms and breaking the bias against women can take many forms, so really important.
00:08:31.650 --> 00:08:40.800 Pat Duckworth: On International women's day and throughout this month that we're thinking about how women feel that there's a bias against them when they get to this stage of life.
00:08:42.450 --> 00:08:50.520 Pat Duckworth: You magazine in the UK, what does the shift to working from home in for those going through menopause this one caught my eye because.
00:08:50.880 --> 00:08:58.230 Pat Duckworth: Some people have really embraced working from home as a very positive thing and other people have not felt it in the same way.
00:08:58.830 --> 00:09:10.380 Pat Duckworth: So this was an interview with Dr kinsler and there were a couple of case studies of two women who had actually embraced working from home and found that was very helpful than men pause.
00:09:11.130 --> 00:09:27.270 Pat Duckworth: There are some aspects of working from home that women who are experiencing the nipples may find reassuring and some of my patients like it, because it means that their symptoms won't be apparent to others, so there we go with the kind of bias and embarrassment around having hot flashes.
00:09:29.730 --> 00:09:41.730 Pat Duckworth: Whilst this may help to avoid their embarrassment and self consciousness, the downsides of working from home when going through menopause unless support for employers and colleagues, as well as feelings of isolation.
00:09:42.450 --> 00:09:48.000 Pat Duckworth: Yes, some people who suffer generally from anxiety from they were less anxious being at home.
00:09:48.420 --> 00:09:57.330 Pat Duckworth: Other people found they got more anxious because they weren't around other people they couldn't talk about what they were experiencing it's not a one size fits all.
00:09:58.290 --> 00:10:03.870 Pat Duckworth: On balance, I think that while some women may feel happier working from home when they're going through menopause.
00:10:04.230 --> 00:10:10.770 Pat Duckworth: In general, having the knowledge that you can go into work alongside colleagues and talk openly about the menopause.
00:10:11.130 --> 00:10:21.330 Pat Duckworth: And how it's impacting you is far more beneficial than trying to work from home, the most important point is that women are empowered to make the decision that's right for them.
00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:33.000 Pat Duckworth: So if it's a if it's an option, and it feels good for you and you can opt to work from home that's very different for me that being told you got to work from home or you've got to come into the office.
00:10:33.690 --> 00:10:51.660 Pat Duckworth: When we feel we've got options when there are choices that's when we feel less stressed and more able to deal with things so candy is so wonderful to see you you're looking absolutely gorgeous, as always, an how did you celebrate International women's day.
00:10:52.590 --> 00:11:01.350 Candy Barone: Well, first, thank you for inviting me and having me here i'm so delighted to be here, I celebrated International women's day by recognizing.
00:11:02.100 --> 00:11:12.510 Candy Barone: The strong women leaders who have set the example and who are sort of that combination of nurturing loving support and kick in the butt when I need it.
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:22.320 Candy Barone: Holding me accountable so being able to celebrate that and seeing the influence that so many beautiful women like yourself have had in my life that was how I chose to celebrate.
00:11:23.280 --> 00:11:29.940 Pat Duckworth: I think that's great because I know some people felt difficult around some of the wording of this year's.
00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:44.160 Pat Duckworth: theme about the struggle, the struggle that we're all in, and you know not wanting to be part of a struggle, but being part of an embracing a a moving forward of what could we do about it.
00:11:44.730 --> 00:11:57.810 Pat Duckworth: And I know that in the past couple of years you've been working very hard on the unpacking racism and seeing how we can be more supportive in terms of breaking down racism.
00:11:58.710 --> 00:12:03.540 Pat Duckworth: This is just another form of bias, and of course it has a particular influence.
00:12:04.140 --> 00:12:14.700 Pat Duckworth: On women of color because if you miss my wonderful conversation with the Reverend Dr Tara Lynn go to talk radio dot nyc hot women rock.
00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:22.590 Pat Duckworth: and find that because we talked about how it affects different people differently and how the stress caused.
00:12:23.220 --> 00:12:34.800 Pat Duckworth: daily by racism can affect women's experience of menopause and because they get more stressed by it, so I know that's something that's quite dear to your heart candy in the work that you've been doing.
00:12:35.880 --> 00:12:45.120 Candy Barone: Without a doubt, absolutely and I think there's a lot, we need to break down when it comes to biases across the board, and yes there's a magnified and amplified effect.
00:12:45.390 --> 00:12:59.850 Candy Barone: For those that are minorities that you know are people of color they experienced menopause and the lack of resources and support in a completely heightened and amplified way then maybe some of the rest of us to.
00:13:00.420 --> 00:13:04.140 Pat Duckworth: yeah and also by us around transgender people.
00:13:04.950 --> 00:13:06.120 Candy Barone: You know for sure.
00:13:06.510 --> 00:13:17.430 Pat Duckworth: Oh transgender man and you're taking hormones or you're having hormones suppressed then you're going to go through menopause.
00:13:18.120 --> 00:13:32.130 Pat Duckworth: So there's all sorts of different biases that play into this, the more we think about it more we recognize the difference experience of people and more understanding, we can be.
00:13:33.240 --> 00:13:39.720 Pat Duckworth: will create a more equal diverse and inclusive life for everybody that feels really important.
00:13:40.740 --> 00:13:42.840 Candy Barone: It feels absolutely critical.
00:13:45.090 --> 00:13:56.880 Pat Duckworth: yeah I know that's why i've been working on Islam for so long, and every year that another aspect of it comes that I think I need to address that I need to address what's going on there.
00:13:57.540 --> 00:14:07.350 Pat Duckworth: So join us after the break when I will be talking to the fabulous candy barone about being a hot woman entrepreneur see you after the break.
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00:16:20.880 --> 00:16:33.150 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at multiples where my guest today is candy barone and Kelly brogan is the CEO of you empowered strong.
00:16:33.630 --> 00:16:41.370 Pat Duckworth: she's a leadership development expert trainer and executive coach as well as an international speaker and Amazon best selling author.
00:16:41.880 --> 00:16:49.020 Pat Duckworth: she's a catalyst and change agent who works with executives and emerging leaders to help bring hop back to leadership.
00:16:49.290 --> 00:16:54.990 Pat Duckworth: While feeding the soul of their business, and I know that's something that's become even more important in the past few years.
00:16:55.620 --> 00:17:00.420 Pat Duckworth: With nearly 20 years in corporate combined with a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering.
00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:14.040 Pat Duckworth: Certification as a six Sigma black belt and nba she's a master of building exceptional high performing teams growing emerging leaders and catapulting individuals to achieve explosive growth.
00:17:14.910 --> 00:17:31.110 Pat Duckworth: she's a member of the forbes coaching Council almost named 2014 15 VIP woman of the year by the National Association of professional women there's so much more I could go on, but we want to talk to her, because we know that time goes really quickly candy welcome to the show.
00:17:31.890 --> 00:17:38.250 Candy Barone: Thank you again pat it again, it is just such an honor and delight to be here, I appreciate it it's.
00:17:38.340 --> 00:17:50.580 Pat Duckworth: a joy to be with you candy always so I just want to wind back a degree in mechanical engineering so not a not a high percentage.
00:17:51.750 --> 00:18:01.020 Pat Duckworth: job for women, but you and I both have those kind of very male dominated careers at the beginning of our lives, how did you get into mechanical engineering.
00:18:02.850 --> 00:18:16.890 Candy Barone: Interestingly enough, it's because I had several men in my life tell me I couldn't, and so I was very interested in hands on building creating things had a very strong math background.
00:18:17.430 --> 00:18:28.680 Candy Barone: And it was interesting It started with both my dad and my guidance counselor that when I started talking about i'd love to build engines for fighter jets or i'd like to be the space, the comment was girls can't do that.
00:18:29.040 --> 00:18:42.660 Candy Barone: And so I think that in and of itself sparked a then watch me, and so I went down a path to really explore engineering and yeah sure right there was very few women in my program, especially when I did my program with 30 years ago.
00:18:44.280 --> 00:18:44.910 Pat Duckworth: you'll see any.
00:18:45.030 --> 00:18:46.050 Pat Duckworth: junk of a me.
00:18:48.900 --> 00:18:59.670 Pat Duckworth: Experience you know when I became a society 1% of the membership of the regulating body what women and their aspiration was 3% they were aspiring.
00:19:00.990 --> 00:19:11.970 Pat Duckworth: But it was very male dominated, and so we could talk about the challenges of that, but I want to move on, then, so how did you develop a move out from that to what you do today.
00:19:12.660 --> 00:19:25.530 Candy Barone: wow it was pretty interesting my junior year I was very clear that I probably didn't want a career in engineering, I was also smart enough to realize i'd invested three years and university and my degree.
00:19:25.890 --> 00:19:39.240 Candy Barone: And that I was a female that if I actually graduated and kept, where I was that I could quote right my ticket, and so I stepped out as an engineer initially and then very quickly moved into more of a sales business development.
00:19:40.350 --> 00:19:51.090 Candy Barone: More people oriented service oriented type role and, as I did, that I naturally fell into leadership opportunities through my career, where I was coaching developing mentoring.
00:19:51.540 --> 00:20:01.470 Candy Barone: Others, and it was something that I naturally did, even if I look back as as small as I can remember, I always was in that capacity, where I wanted to coach I wanted to train.
00:20:01.770 --> 00:20:14.100 Candy Barone: I was more concerned about other people's growth and success than maybe some of my own, at times, and so it just sort of organically, and naturally evolved over my career that I eventually stepped out.
00:20:14.580 --> 00:20:24.960 Candy Barone: it's interesting I get people that will say how does a mechanical engineer become an executive coach and i'm it's a much linear path and people think instead of dealing with products and systems, I deal with people and emotions.
00:20:25.980 --> 00:20:43.800 Pat Duckworth: Now I have something to tell you I was thinking about you earlier today, as I think about all my guests, as you enter my energy field, and I was thinking about introducing you and what came to mind was my guest today is Dr candy burrows I think there's a PhD in here somewhere.
00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:56.640 Candy Barone: That is interesting, because I have explored that option multiple times and the either the timings been offer other things, and sometimes I think I have a PhD in life so yes that's interesting.
00:20:56.820 --> 00:21:00.150 Pat Duckworth: I think it can be you know, can you tell me.
00:21:01.380 --> 00:21:05.430 Pat Duckworth: don't tell me Kelly brogan so yeah get ready cuz it's gonna happen, I.
00:21:07.590 --> 00:21:13.290 Pat Duckworth: kind of moved into coaching and I know, in the past couple of years, and I hope it's okay to talk about this you've really.
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:23.910 Pat Duckworth: started exploring the spiritual side of coaching as well, and really the spiritual side of people's lives when they're in change can you sound a little bit about that.
00:21:25.500 --> 00:21:28.440 Candy Barone: yeah and I would even add it's been the spiritual side of leadership.
00:21:28.830 --> 00:21:31.830 Candy Barone: Leadership is really where my heart is, and when I look at.
00:21:32.010 --> 00:21:38.670 Candy Barone: It was probably about four years ago now, I had some very significant things that happened to my business that rattled me to my core.
00:21:39.480 --> 00:21:56.460 Candy Barone: They forced me to sit in a space to ask myself why I was doing this and really from an integrity standpoint, because I had some people challenging the way I disrupt the way I was going out and it really I internalized it, and so I started to work with.
00:21:57.690 --> 00:22:08.490 Candy Barone: The first of many spiritual mentors and guides and really leaning into my own journey around what does it mean from a leadership perspective, what does it mean in terms of who I am.
00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:13.590 Candy Barone: And it has been a space of how what I like to call opening to grace.
00:22:14.280 --> 00:22:30.810 Candy Barone: The last couple years have really allowed me to move away from some of the unbalanced aggressive masculine energy that I had piled on layers working in male dominated fields and many good old boys networks.
00:22:31.350 --> 00:22:39.330 Candy Barone: And it allowed me to uncover and discover what my divine feminine look like and how.
00:22:40.080 --> 00:22:52.800 Candy Barone: That works in harmony and balance with my divine masculine and one of the things that's been really interesting is to see how that's a very personal very unique experience and.
00:22:53.190 --> 00:23:05.400 Candy Barone: There was a lot of unpacking bias around what it was supposed to look like, for me, and so, even with some of my guides and teachers, I had to learn out to distill out some of that noise.
00:23:05.820 --> 00:23:11.640 Candy Barone: Because while their perception of how divine feminine was supposed to show up in me.
00:23:12.630 --> 00:23:30.660 Candy Barone: wasn't what felt congruent and integrity, for me, and so i've over the last probably almost four or five years really been on a quest to figure out what that looks like and guide those leaders that I work with to uncover that for themselves.
00:23:31.380 --> 00:23:41.610 Pat Duckworth: I love it candy because I talk more now about how many couples is a spiritual experience and we're not talking about a religious experience we're talking about.
00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:51.030 Pat Duckworth: That which is greater than we are you know something bigger so you can get caught up in the physical, you can get caught up in the emotional, you can get.
00:23:51.360 --> 00:23:57.630 Pat Duckworth: caught up in the cognitive side of menopause as in the brain fog and all of that.
00:23:58.410 --> 00:24:07.620 Pat Duckworth: However, there is something much bigger going on, because some of your identities, some of the things that seem really important in the first stage of your life.
00:24:08.010 --> 00:24:16.500 Pat Duckworth: start to fall away at this stage of life, and it can be incredibly liberating it can be very energizing.
00:24:16.860 --> 00:24:30.120 Pat Duckworth: You know if you're looking for the positives around this stage of life there are so many because you kind of let go of a load of stuff but that can feel difficult, you know change changes i'm comfortable.
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:34.800 Pat Duckworth: Are you experiencing some of that candy.
00:24:36.930 --> 00:24:46.830 Candy Barone: I absolutely i'm laughing because I love, how you it's interesting because I can even feel things dropping and, as you just said that the perspective and framing of that.
00:24:47.910 --> 00:24:56.070 Candy Barone: explains a lot and really yes, I would agree 1,000% it has been an incredibly spiritual experience and.
00:24:57.360 --> 00:25:08.850 Candy Barone: There has been both sides of it, the the growth, the humbleness the quantum shifts that have happened as a result of shedding old identity and stepping into a space that says, I can't.
00:25:09.240 --> 00:25:19.410 Candy Barone: Because it's interesting, even while some of those nods or those pushes have come throughout my life i've always been able to say and I don't want any of that right now i'm good.
00:25:19.770 --> 00:25:25.620 Candy Barone: Whereas now, at this juncture in my life and being in the throes of menopause myself.
00:25:26.040 --> 00:25:33.150 Candy Barone: It has been very clear that there are certain things, whether it be my purpose, whether it be my calling, whether it be how i'm showing up that are no longer negotiable.
00:25:33.420 --> 00:25:43.200 Candy Barone: it's funny because sometimes I can feel my the former version of myself say something like well I don't really want that, and this whole energy takes over me that says you're cute and that's.
00:25:43.560 --> 00:25:50.820 Candy Barone: It doesn't matter and so what's interesting is one of the things I have noticed, because my sleep is so.
00:25:51.420 --> 00:26:13.020 Candy Barone: cool it's a challenge is even some of my Clara senses my clairvoyance my Claire vision my in my ability to tap into that higher level consciousness, the the clarity around that has like dialed in the downloads the lucid dreaming, I have had just prolific and very.
00:26:14.280 --> 00:26:23.700 Candy Barone: activating energy and spaces even things as they're moving around me, I can see things in different almost dimensions it's.
00:26:24.090 --> 00:26:37.650 Candy Barone: it's crazy because, yes, that feels like it's been amplified and heightened where it's not even just my physical senses, because anyone going through menopause knows your physical senses, are all kinds of out of whack.
00:26:38.520 --> 00:26:52.650 Candy Barone: You like those multi sensory senses that go far beyond the five physical senses are fully engaged fully integrated, fully activated that there are times that I am both in my body out of my body and there's just.
00:26:53.070 --> 00:27:06.360 Candy Barone: there's just this whole other place of and So yes, I would say that that is a highly spiritual highly charged it's been an interesting journey that's for sure.
00:27:06.780 --> 00:27:18.360 Pat Duckworth: yeah I think the first time, we talked about this was when I was with you, you were driving me from Austin to San Antonio for BBC conference and we stopped and had lunch and.
00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:27.000 Pat Duckworth: you're kind of talking to me like about hot flashes and all of that, and I was trying to like guide you into this is going to be more than.
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:27.360 That.
00:27:29.520 --> 00:27:30.120 Candy Barone: Yes.
00:27:30.750 --> 00:27:31.470 Pat Duckworth: You get where.
00:27:33.390 --> 00:27:41.340 Pat Duckworth: You know, for some women they might not have many physical symptoms, they might not have the cognitive or emotional sentence.
00:27:41.820 --> 00:27:56.070 Pat Duckworth: And changes going on, and if you don't recognize that you're changing that you know this whole brain structure stuff that is going on, just as how it happens that teenage you know teenage brains change and we go Oh, why they sound weird.
00:27:57.690 --> 00:28:07.620 Pat Duckworth: Their brain structures changing our brain structure and the chemicals in our brain are changing, too, I know you want to say something before we go to break candy what's boiling up.
00:28:08.730 --> 00:28:18.090 Candy Barone: I would just say that that is something that I think people really need awareness around is the fact that the human side of my brain has become so stupid.
00:28:18.450 --> 00:28:34.560 Candy Barone: And there's this whole other thing that things will come out of my mouth and things that I start to see or put together make zero sense on the surface and then there's just a knowing and a space, but your brain through menopause and through this entire like is just.
00:28:35.760 --> 00:28:39.810 Candy Barone: That has been a ride all in and of itself that could be a whole series of shows.
00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:48.510 Pat Duckworth: Okay it's not just one show if it but slightly bracing what is going on, instead of dying I don't know what happened to my brain.
00:28:48.780 --> 00:29:01.260 Pat Duckworth: Because they were is good stuff going on, as well as various stuff that you've got no idea how to handle so join us after the break when we will talk about being a hot woman entrepreneur see you after the break.
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00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:16.680 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show where my guest today is the fabulous candy Moreau or Dr candy barone have designated her so she gets on and does her PhD.
00:31:19.140 --> 00:31:26.700 Pat Duckworth: So we've just been talking about the very deep a changes that can happen at menopause and.
00:31:27.210 --> 00:31:39.150 Pat Duckworth: How that can be a really good thing as well, you don't try and resist or push it down oh uh my we're talking it's big welcome to Sarah Ross horsey is watching us on Facebook as well lovely to see you here, Sarah.
00:31:39.720 --> 00:31:47.670 Pat Duckworth: So let's talk about what have you found to be challenges for you in being a hot woman entrepreneur.
00:31:49.230 --> 00:31:57.720 Candy Barone: there's been a lot of challenges, to be honest, I think some of it goes to the first thing you just said around letting go of trying to resist.
00:31:57.990 --> 00:32:04.740 Candy Barone: The changes, I will say that when some of the first changes because I really have periods, where the hot flashes and night sweats get bad.
00:32:05.310 --> 00:32:11.370 Candy Barone: The hot flashes can take me out for periods of time during the day and the night sweats keep me from sleeping.
00:32:11.760 --> 00:32:21.510 Candy Barone: So there's the whole space of menopause brain that kicks in where there are times that I can't remember my name I don't know what I was doing it literally I just go blank.
00:32:21.870 --> 00:32:31.590 Candy Barone: or their spaces, where and for those of you that know it's an interesting space a hot flash because, while you feel like your entire body is melting.
00:32:32.430 --> 00:32:38.550 Candy Barone: you're not sweating through your clothes, or anything else get there's this film, so you can't do anything you I live, at least for me.
00:32:38.820 --> 00:32:48.510 Candy Barone: i'd be in the middle of something and I can't touch anything I can't right I can't type, I have to wait until that film moves away from my body.
00:32:48.930 --> 00:32:57.210 Candy Barone: And so there's a space in Greece i've had to learn that's been very different around letting myself Evan flow through.
00:32:57.600 --> 00:33:08.970 Candy Barone: What my body is doing what my mind, is doing what the the the changes that are even beyond the body and mind, but what my spirits doing there has been days, where as while I want to work.
00:33:10.260 --> 00:33:12.960 Candy Barone: i've had to say I can't work today I need to sleep.
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:29.910 Candy Barone: I need to go outside nature, I need to like I just can't I can't function I can't put things together, and so, for someone who's been a over achiever a high performer high functioning in many ways that it hurt me and aspects of my life.
00:33:30.270 --> 00:33:39.870 Candy Barone: It was very difficult to redirect how I use my energy allowing myself that spacing grace.
00:33:40.230 --> 00:33:51.300 Candy Barone: And not judging myself through that process I I think it's been very difficult and then there's the whole shame and embarrassment of God forbid, if i'm in front of someone else when it happens.
00:33:51.570 --> 00:33:57.510 Candy Barone: i've actually gotten very good where i'm like you got to give me a second i'm having a mentor pause moment and don't look at me and i'm like.
00:33:58.140 --> 00:34:04.080 Candy Barone: Look i'm just going to say it, I even gave a presentation to a bunch of government officials, a couple weeks ago and same thing i'm like.
00:34:04.590 --> 00:34:14.370 Candy Barone: y'all just got to bear with me and I, you know what it's menopause you gotta bear with me because I literally something happened in the middle of that and that has been a really.
00:34:15.690 --> 00:34:22.230 Candy Barone: it's been a big space, and I think it's been very, very much connected to the spiritual journey that i've been on.
00:34:22.560 --> 00:34:37.740 Candy Barone: Like I said, this has been a whole process and opening to grace and so how I give myself compassion kindness and that love through that space has been one of the biggest opportunities and one of the biggest challenges.
00:34:38.190 --> 00:34:47.340 Pat Duckworth: I think i'm here all sorts of tips coming out here, and the first one is around allowing yourself the space and grace to move this move through this.
00:34:47.910 --> 00:35:01.650 Pat Duckworth: Around being compassionate around listening to your body, I know that you are very intuitive in what you eat and how you exercise is that part of how you're dealing with this.
00:35:02.130 --> 00:35:08.280 Candy Barone: yeah that was another thing and that just even recently has i'll say kicked me in the butt a little bit.
00:35:08.970 --> 00:35:20.340 Candy Barone: I am someone who I love to work out I love to work out hard I do boot camp style workout I work out 567 sometimes more days like times a week it's an energy release.
00:35:21.210 --> 00:35:29.160 Candy Barone: Just in the last couple weeks I hit some pretty significant milestones and it became very clear that my body is saying it doesn't want me.
00:35:29.940 --> 00:35:42.690 Candy Barone: pounding on it at that level I need to reset and re adjust that now i've dialed down my hit type workouts my boot camps to three days a week.
00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:57.360 Candy Barone: I am needing more flow I am needing more stillness and quiet, I am getting more and more downloads around meditation and yoga and stretching and hiking and.
00:35:57.990 --> 00:36:11.340 Candy Barone: So it's been challenging to let go of again that former identity, something that has been a passion, something that easily has been a space for me, especially in light of the pandemic has been my outlet.
00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:26.010 Candy Barone: And now to reconfigure and and and to be very transparent, it is not something I have fully figured out, yet the last couple weeks have been a bit wonky for me and have I felt a little.
00:36:28.170 --> 00:36:37.260 Candy Barone: lost for lack of a better word, because my normal way of doing things is getting turned on its head again i've also noticed that about food.
00:36:37.680 --> 00:36:55.860 Candy Barone: I do more of a keto Paleo and I found that I needed to increase my collagen and my bone broth and I need different levels of carbs to manage the hormonal fluctuations and so it's there's a lot of stripping things back and a lot of learning to the process.
00:36:56.070 --> 00:37:09.810 Pat Duckworth: yeah so there's so much in there, that I could talk about, but I want to get to the top tips, because you know our listeners want to know what can I be doing so give us some of your top tips from what you've learned.
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:22.380 Candy Barone: The first one, I would say, is it is that allowing space it's it's recognizing that this is happening for you, through you, and allow yourself that space for grace.
00:37:23.190 --> 00:37:36.750 Candy Barone: to recognize that there is so much that's positive and and a blessing in this to be given this sort of transition in your life this this quantum shifting that really does happen.
00:37:37.020 --> 00:37:44.550 Candy Barone: To be a woman and get to experience this, I think, is a gift and I think we have such a stigma around menopause.
00:37:44.820 --> 00:37:52.140 Candy Barone: And around the change of life that we don't see it for the blessing, and the, it is an awakening in some aspects.
00:37:52.500 --> 00:38:01.620 Candy Barone: Around who it's why women start to feel more empowered and can stand in their own space, I feel as if a veil is lifted, and so my.
00:38:02.100 --> 00:38:20.760 Candy Barone: thing would be to really allow that and to connect intuitively into what your body says first what your spirit says, and then notice what your mind is doing and start changing that narrative that also often is where the noises is starting from.
00:38:21.180 --> 00:38:30.720 Pat Duckworth: yeah and if you're listening to this and thinking, how is it a blessing, I went to a homeopath for something completely different about three years ago.
00:38:31.110 --> 00:38:41.970 Pat Duckworth: And he's a French guy and he said to me, I really envy women than men apples and I said why and he said it's a chance to set the reset button.
00:38:42.120 --> 00:38:44.940 Pat Duckworth: Then you get another go, he said guys don't get back.
00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:59.910 Pat Duckworth: It is it's a wake up call it is a chance to really look at how you're living your life from the food the exercise the mindset, how you deal with stress who you think you are.
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:02.400 Pat Duckworth: there's so much to it.
00:39:03.960 --> 00:39:13.680 Candy Barone: it's beautiful and the thing is is you get a space, I feel like because i've always had this kind of don't really care what people think and not really in that.
00:39:14.010 --> 00:39:26.040 Candy Barone: And now i'm like i'm not available for anybody else's stuff i'm not available for the external noise and i've gotten very clear are getting rid of the internal noise.
00:39:26.370 --> 00:39:39.900 Candy Barone: That is holding me back it's it's very much lit a fire in me to say there is no plane small, this is the time that I am unapologetically going to take up space and room and if.
00:39:40.860 --> 00:39:53.100 Candy Barone: Other people have issues about that that is on them, because I don't have the patience, or the time to mess with that anymore, and I will tell you menopause is lit that fire like crazy to me like.
00:39:53.550 --> 00:39:59.070 Candy Barone: I am not available for the crazy and the wheels and the ship get out of my way I have work to do.
00:40:00.150 --> 00:40:07.260 Pat Duckworth: yeah I mean when I quit my public service job I was 54 and.
00:40:08.850 --> 00:40:19.740 Pat Duckworth: A couple years later, I was in a mastermind group with other women who were around the same age One of them said you're doing so much when you're going to slow down, I say slow.
00:40:22.020 --> 00:40:36.480 Pat Duckworth: I don't know how much time i've got i've got so much today I gotta keep like i'll keep going because there's the book says, I gotta get in front of people i've got to talk about this stuff and it just feels so like urgent.
00:40:37.710 --> 00:40:54.810 Candy Barone: yeah but not urgent from a way that feels because there's an urgency that we have been taught, especially planning those male dominated roles it's like I gotta grind I gotta hustle I got to push I gotta resist it's not that kind of urgency it's a deep seated necessity.
00:40:55.080 --> 00:40:57.270 Candy Barone: To stand in the gifts and the.
00:40:57.270 --> 00:41:08.820 Candy Barone: Calling and the purpose, I really have watch, because a lot of my friends i'll be 49 this year, so I actually started some of my stuff earlier even had symptoms of prepare amount of positive stuff in my late 30s.
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:22.860 Candy Barone: i'm watching all of my mind, the women entrepreneurs i'm around we're going through this together and there's this fierceness there's this bad ass theory there's this this space of stepping up and being like.
00:41:23.340 --> 00:41:31.320 Candy Barone: I feel as if I have to do this, because every cell in my body.
00:41:31.860 --> 00:41:41.700 Candy Barone: Is awake saying I am on this earth, for a reason, and I feel like me like going through menopause right now, and the crux of what's happening in this this two year.
00:41:42.240 --> 00:42:06.840 Candy Barone: Is not by accident, and I feel this like this, this this this pool that says candy barone now is the time to fully activate and set out the light care bear stare in the light rays to activate others because the work is now and it's it's that kind of urgency it's a cellular.
00:42:08.190 --> 00:42:13.710 Candy Barone: I have to, because I have to, because I have to not because anybody else's telling me so.
00:42:14.490 --> 00:42:20.220 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely, and having been in corporate i've been in kind of big government departments.
00:42:20.670 --> 00:42:28.650 Pat Duckworth: You might have spent the first part of your life doing stuff because other people have told you it's urgent because it's important because you have to do it.
00:42:28.980 --> 00:42:42.900 Pat Duckworth: And then you get to this stage of life and you go, is it important to me, is it urgent to me, and if it is i'm going to give it everything and if it isn't yeah and it's a whole lot of giving less Fox and you use to.
00:42:49.290 --> 00:43:06.930 Pat Duckworth: You will hear women saying that like that used to bother me now i've seen it for what it is, I can on moving on i'm doing my thing and it's all good we're nearly at the next break candy, I hope, have you got anything quick to say before we move to the next time oh.
00:43:08.100 --> 00:43:20.070 Candy Barone: Can I get an amen and hallelujah on that because seriously, that is where we're at it's just the space of saying i've got no more to give for everybody else's bullshit it's just the space to say.
00:43:20.370 --> 00:43:24.690 Candy Barone: i'm going to do it on my terms because you know what i'm tired.
00:43:25.110 --> 00:43:36.630 Candy Barone: of playing the game, the way everybody else tells me it's got to be played i'm going to write my own rules and there's something so delicious and juicy and empowering that just says.
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:46.200 Candy Barone: i'm over y'all i'm over it peace out I love you and i'm not available for all of this nonsense and I just amen and hallelujah to that is like.
00:43:48.720 --> 00:43:57.240 Pat Duckworth: whoa, as always, if you really quickly we're after the next break we'll see you after the break we'll be giving you loads more important information see us where.
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00:45:55.980 --> 00:46:06.390 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the final course of the hot women rock radio show and powering women leaders at menopause we said a lot of empowering stuff this afternoon or this morning, depending on where you are.
00:46:06.660 --> 00:46:18.750 Pat Duckworth: I hope you're getting that five we've been joined on the Facebook page by kirsty Dixon and she says she is but, as she is at this point so and customers doing some really brilliant work at university of York.
00:46:19.140 --> 00:46:26.820 Pat Duckworth: Where she's bringing the menopause in the workplace message there so keep going to see you're doing brilliantly and yeah.
00:46:28.110 --> 00:46:32.550 Pat Duckworth: You might not want to tell them that you're giving us facts, but just do it anyway good.
00:46:36.690 --> 00:46:47.040 Pat Duckworth: Kenny what what is, what is the most important message you want to give to a hot women entrepreneurs what what mustn't they miss out on in all of this.
00:46:49.440 --> 00:47:00.180 Candy Barone: enjoying the journey, I know that sounds crazy and it goes back to what we were saying before the break it really is a precious.
00:47:01.230 --> 00:47:11.520 Candy Barone: gorgeous exquisite gift we've been given as women to go through this journey, I know it doesn't feel like that asked me when i'm going through middle of high flash i'll tell you to F off.
00:47:12.810 --> 00:47:32.910 Candy Barone: And there's so much to access for yourself that giving yourself that permission and telling everybody else to go take a flying leap somewhere else you do you it is really that space of you do you through this process and honor yourself and honor the journey.
00:47:34.050 --> 00:47:38.370 Candy Barone: and find the joy in it find the joy in this gift that we've been given.
00:47:39.480 --> 00:47:45.900 Pat Duckworth: And you talked about that you've got a number of Friends of the same age and you're watching them go through this journey as well.
00:47:47.130 --> 00:47:53.160 Pat Duckworth: I know I said how important it is to have friends at this time it has that been your experience with this too.
00:47:53.940 --> 00:47:59.790 Candy Barone: It has, and I would say that i'm very fortunate that I have a group of friends, where we talk openly.
00:48:00.150 --> 00:48:08.760 Candy Barone: about these issues because I do look back and and you know as an entrepreneur, it has its own challenges I also recognize that if I were still in my corporate career.
00:48:09.150 --> 00:48:21.840 Candy Barone: How much more difficult, this would have been there is a still a ridiculous stigma that says we don't talk about this or that menopause only happens, and I know I was one of those people menopause only happens for people that are old and like.
00:48:22.530 --> 00:48:34.980 Candy Barone: I am very vibrant and i'm going to be 49 and menopause happens in the throes of where you are at the peak of your life and to your point we get to reinvent ourselves, and so, to be able to.
00:48:35.310 --> 00:48:47.460 Candy Barone: really share that and talk about that with my girlfriends and talk about that with other women leaders that I deeply admire has been such a source of.
00:48:48.960 --> 00:48:53.880 Candy Barone: Support of calm of just an anchoring to know.
00:48:54.900 --> 00:49:06.060 Candy Barone: And I think that's what's allowed me to revel in the gift of it even more is the fact that this is an experience I get to share with them not commiserate with them share with them.
00:49:06.810 --> 00:49:21.420 Candy Barone: And we get to see each it's like we're evolving into that next level of butterfly that many of us have been in butterfly phase, but it's a whole different level of chrysalis and so to watch how we're emerging through that.
00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:31.410 Candy Barone: Is I don't know it's it's beautiful to witness and beautiful, to be able to be supported and support others to that journey.
00:49:32.220 --> 00:49:43.020 Pat Duckworth: Because women who are supported by friends by family in the workplace have a better, more positive experience of menopause that's why it's so incredibly important.
00:49:43.380 --> 00:49:55.740 Pat Duckworth: And it also helps to lift that shame and guilt around it, but why is to surround it it's just a natural part of life, but if you can talk about it.
00:49:56.730 --> 00:50:07.980 Pat Duckworth: If you're not trying to like keep it as some kind of dirty secret it makes such a huge difference and sometimes you have to encourage women to talk about it, I don't know if you've got any friends who like oh.
00:50:10.680 --> 00:50:11.010 Pat Duckworth: yeah.
00:50:11.340 --> 00:50:17.310 Candy Barone: For sure, and for me, I have, and I know you and i've had this conversation before it's taken me a while to be able to.
00:50:17.580 --> 00:50:31.770 Candy Barone: But I bring it to my boot camps, I bring it to my trainings I bring it to my one on one clients, with some of the men that I work with i'm like look, this is the reality of what i'm going through right now and i'm just very clear, I say the word menopause without doing the it's menopausal.
00:50:32.310 --> 00:50:36.450 Candy Barone: down and i'm like look if y'all i'm going through menopause you gotta give me some.
00:50:36.480 --> 00:50:44.580 Candy Barone: You got cut me some slack right now and it's real and so because I also recognize, and this is one of the things for those of you that.
00:50:45.510 --> 00:51:01.080 Candy Barone: Have a natural ability to be a voice to be a leader that, whether you like it or not, you attract energy, you are someone who's here to stimulate disrupt it is part of your human design it's part of your DNA.
00:51:01.770 --> 00:51:09.900 Candy Barone: I want you to embrace that because, for me, I recognize, I have a very powerful voice that tone of my voice the way I command a room.
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:19.080 Candy Barone: which also means that I have a responsibility to show the power of being able to use a word like menopause period.
00:51:19.620 --> 00:51:28.950 Candy Barone: menopause without shame menopause and yes i'll wait till you catch up and you hear what I just said, and you let that marinate and let that soak in i'll wait.
00:51:29.340 --> 00:51:41.940 Candy Barone: Like giving it real breath and language and vocabulary, that is part of how we change the stigma it's by women, saying I get you're uncomfortable so what.
00:51:42.750 --> 00:51:52.530 Candy Barone: Let me tell you what uncomfortable feels like i'm going to say this, and i'll wait and, if not i'm still gonna say this, and you can catch up or not.
00:51:52.740 --> 00:52:03.330 Candy Barone: This no longer, and it goes back to even what you started this conversation we talked about racism, we talked about biases we get to a point where this is no longer a subject.
00:52:03.570 --> 00:52:10.350 Candy Barone: that's getting pushed under the carpet, this is here, and I am going to shine a light on it.
00:52:10.860 --> 00:52:25.860 Candy Barone: Whether you like it or not, so buckle up Buttercup because here we come, and I do think there is a rise in women's voice to say to your point I don't give a Fuck anymore i'm just going to show up and say look.
00:52:26.340 --> 00:52:43.560 Candy Barone: we're going to talk about this because it's way overdue and it's time, and so the more of us that know we have a voice in that capacity, I invite you challenge you and, like, I am calling you to action to say it is your turn and time to amplify your voice.
00:52:44.310 --> 00:52:54.480 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely, I mean for 10 years i've stood up in network meetings and said, I am the hot woman we call solutions and I work with women at menopause and.
00:52:54.750 --> 00:53:08.190 Pat Duckworth: You know people's heads would go down over there egg and bacon breakfast and I just gonna keep saying they're just gonna keep saying it, and now I say it, and like maybe give some really because it's just Pat the medicals so good.
00:53:09.960 --> 00:53:10.350 Candy Barone: Good.
00:53:10.680 --> 00:53:11.460 it's all good.
00:53:12.480 --> 00:53:18.240 Pat Duckworth: candy you have a gift for our listeners tell us about your gift.
00:53:19.050 --> 00:53:26.940 Candy Barone: yeah plays very well into what we just talked about, I have a book I put together, I do a lot of work with people to help them say yes to themselves.
00:53:27.870 --> 00:53:36.720 Candy Barone: and destroy the noise that gets in the way and so we have not only the external noise that a lot of us have just been you know conditioned and programmed to.
00:53:37.620 --> 00:53:44.520 Candy Barone: internalize we also have a whole shitty committee going on in our head that has this whole internal dialogue and narrative.
00:53:44.880 --> 00:53:52.890 Candy Barone: So I have an e book that i've created, that is, the 13 strategies on how to effectively destroy the noise, it is some very quick it's.
00:53:53.310 --> 00:54:00.420 Candy Barone: of ways to change the frame strategies to get you out of that head trash and I also give you.
00:54:00.930 --> 00:54:08.850 Candy Barone: A couple of handouts or visuals that you could print out and put in places, whether it's your bathroom mirror it's in your office.
00:54:09.150 --> 00:54:16.110 Candy Barone: to remind you and noise, for me, as an acronym it's it's, how do you effectively destroy the negative self talk so.
00:54:16.410 --> 00:54:22.230 Candy Barone: filters and frames you're creating it's that narrative the opinions of others, you choose to internalize.
00:54:22.560 --> 00:54:29.580 Candy Barone: The inefficiencies you're creating and your day to day life by being that person that says yes to too much the shooting.
00:54:29.850 --> 00:54:45.660 Candy Barone: You do all over yourself, which is that might sound like something else, and the excuses that you create and perpetuate they usually come out of a fear of rejection and criticism failure and how do you change those frames, because that noise is not serving you.
00:54:46.050 --> 00:54:58.410 Pat Duckworth: Thank you so much candy, thank you for all of your energy or wisdom, today I absolutely love this session, thank you for the gift that you are and the gift that you've offered will be putting the links underneath.
00:54:59.100 --> 00:55:09.360 Pat Duckworth: If you are a therapist or a coach or a personal trainer and you are in the UK and you would like to come along to my workshop, I have a workshop on.
00:55:09.630 --> 00:55:18.330 Pat Duckworth: Sunday march 20 where i'm going to be sharing with you how to work with women at menopause because there's a lot, you need to know there's a lot of people.
00:55:18.660 --> 00:55:26.880 Pat Duckworth: who have kind of cottoned on that menopause is a thing and then now giving advice i've been doing this for 10 years I think the first box.
00:55:29.490 --> 00:55:32.130 Pat Duckworth: For me, so if you want to know more about that.
00:55:32.670 --> 00:55:42.210 Pat Duckworth: pat at Pepsi coke.com I can send you the links, I can send you the information it's a live in person, you get to see people and have lunch with them.
00:55:42.510 --> 00:55:55.950 Pat Duckworth: If then here close to where I live in hot pitcher Cambridgeshire so please if you're in the area and you'd like to know pack pack pack pack plus.com if you've missed any more of the amazing conversations i've had with wonderful.
00:55:56.580 --> 00:56:07.200 Pat Duckworth: Thought leaders and entrepreneurs go to talk radio dot nyc and hot women rock, thank you to my producer today dylan Thank you so much.
00:56:07.590 --> 00:56:17.430 Pat Duckworth: Stay tuned the next show is the Reverend Dr tlc dismantle racism and she's talking today about facing workplace racism as a woman.
00:56:17.670 --> 00:56:32.490 Pat Duckworth: A subject that you're very clear to my dear to my own heart so stay tuned Thank you again candy i'll see you next week, when I will be talking to master Teresa who will be talking about Chi gong and how that can help you at medical see you next week have a great one.