Listeners will discover Dr. Valerie's 4 Steps to create a positive relationship with your life at any stage.
Menopause is characterized by language and imagery that sets a specific tone and as women buy into this set-up, they are unconsciously creating their own experience.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s possible for women to release the heavy language, stories, and experiences that anchor them in a negative vibration before and during this natural and beautiful life stage so their individual experiences can defy the “norm.”
My guest, Dr. Valerie René Sheppard, is a catastrophic-stroke survivor, self-mastery expert, and CEO of The Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery™. She helps people transform their lives from the inside out using her proprietary 4-step process and the other spiritual principles and practices in her multi-award-winning, #1 international best-seller, "Living Happy to Be ME!: Dancing Your Soul Lightstyle©."
Dr. Valerie will share her process which can help women create a positive relationship with the dynamics happening at any point in their lives.
Join me for this essential conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
Pat starts the show by mentioning what it has been said in the press about menopause this week, so the first one that she found is on the good men project website: how to be a loving partner for someone who's going through menopause. It is essential to know about menopause ‘being patient with your partner and keeping an open line of communication you can help ease your loved ones difficulties through this time’. Pat agrees with this last message. She considers important that women who are supported menopause home, in the workplace, etc has a better experience. Pat highlights that communication is a key factor as well as being listened to. Pat mentions another article by B.C. Women's Health. This particular study suggested the woman's experience of the transition to menopause was characterized by the fear of the future. Pat says that she will talk about this topic with her guest during the conversation: ‘ I think this is really important the fear of the future I'm in a rock shows menopause’. Pat keeps reading different press news related to menopause. Pat introduces her special guest of the week: Valerie René Sheppard. She says that everything that Pat was saying was tying right into what they're going to talk about. Valerie finds out this as an opportunity for women going through menopause, ‘I'm excited for a conversation, Pat’. Pat says that they will be talking also about some negative messages that they can get about this. She finds really hard to see good news in the press related to menopause and women. Valerie agrees. She says that if women can actually look at their menopausal symptoms and talk about them relatives of the way life used to be they're still live in their life and that's really an important whenever. Valerie mentions that it is important that women can also thank their bodies like get into a deeper relationship with love and acceptance of their body. ‘This is a new chapter… your body is doing its best for you just breathing’. Pat agrees with her message. Both of them agree to EXPECT A MIRACLE! Before finishing the first part of the show, Pat says what she will talk about with her guest: Valerie René Sheppard.
After the break, Pat introduces Valerie and she mentions that the subject today is soaring into menopause, weight lifting off into menopause in a positive way. Pat explains who Valerie is. She is a self-mastery expert, and CEO of The Heartly Center for Mindfulness and Self-Mastery, etc. Pat asks Valerie about her earlier career. Valerie answers that she started her career in marketing and business strategy. She got her MBA in marketing and Logistics and then she worked at Procter & Gamble for about nine and a half ten years. She has been working in the pharmaceutical business unit in their Healthcare Global business unit as well as did some Consulting. It was all about marketing messaging business strategy talking to Consumers and creating value for them and for their shareholders. Pat and Valerie met each other years ago, so she reminds her that when she was in the recovery from her stroke, Pat asks her:
Did the medical team you were working with say that your way of thinking is important, or was it something you came up with yourself that was important? She answers Pat quite clearly. When she was going to launch her book ("Living Happy to Be ME!: Dancing Your Soul Lightstyle©’, 2015) she was already going through a stroke although after six and a half years she is still in that journey of dealing with the consequences of the ramifications or life changing physiological mental emotional changes as a result of the stroke. Valerie makes it clear that the answer to Pat's question is something that working on her own has helped her overcome. Valerie thinks that there are some places especially in life-threatening illnesses like cancer and other things where people need to have a kind of integrated management of healthcare: a psychologist can help people to manage their side effects for instance. She thinks that what's ‘missing in many circumstances is not what the doctors do, it's with the patients’ and it's because patients are really being called into a space of conscious co-creation of their world and they're not getting what they believe they need. Valerie says an example: I'm not happy I make the statement of my dissatisfaction. I asked what more is possible. I look for an alternative and worst case scenario I don't work with that doctor anymore’. Valerie gives advice to Pat’s audience and it is that she suggests to her audience that one of the best things people can do is become their vocal. Pat agrees with all the stuff that Valerie is talking about. She mentions some stories of herself in the past related to the topic they are talking about.
Coming back from the break, Pat mentions the theme that she and her guest are talking about this week: ‘how we need to advocate for ourselves and understand what's going on for us’. She starts saying that wants to talk about Valerie’s dissertation, what 4 Steps Valerie created to get a positive relationship with your life. Valerie answers her by saying that her four step process it's called ‘The Living happy to me’ book. Living happy to her is rooted in spiritual practices, spiritual understanding and one of the most important understandings is what she mentions ‘your brain is not as powerful as your heart, their scientific data that shows that the heart has Neurontin at the heart starts beating before the brain has even formed in a fetus’. In addition, what she also talks about in her book Is dancing a lightstyle. Valerie defines the four step process as ‘how do you free yourself, how do you really create a relationship with your life as the co-creator of that life to lead it in a way that is inspiring for the things that you want’. She describes the four steps as the process that wakes up to the truth of who you are. She reminds the audience that they are more than just human, they have superpowers. She highlights in the conversation that people should make up their own stories about what this journey called menopause. Pat agrees with Valerie. Valerie talks about how she managed the menopause and its symptoms.
In this final segment, Valerie says one of her favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius: ‘if you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment’. She thinks she is a conscious creator of her own world so whatever she calls a thing is that way she experienced a thing. She explains that when she is working with her clients and they're telling her they don’t want to talk about any problem or whatever because it's too painful then she is like well: ‘Is it really or is it painful because that's the way you described it’? After talking of different experiences related to this issue, Pat asks Valerie to tell the best tip she can give to her and the audience. She answers that ‘stop taking the monkey’. She mentions that when it comes to menopause and how heavy it can be and what the symptoms are is to enter this. Even with the conscious awareness that she is in that area at her age, but it is only menopause, you need to see this ‘issue’ as a normal thing in women. Finally, Pat thanks Valerie for joining her show. She adds that if any people who listen to this show live in the UK, she recommends a course that she is doing related to menopause.
00:00:39.360 --> 00:00:50.280 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause good morning America good afternoon UK and good evening.
00:00:50.640 --> 00:01:05.790 Pat Duckworth: If you're in India and Asia it's wonderful to have you here, and if you've got any questions and comments go to the Facebook post put them there I do monitor it during the breaks, if we can answer any of your questions, it will be good.
00:01:06.330 --> 00:01:19.260 Pat Duckworth: And so my guest today in the studio is Dr Valerie shepherd who will be talking to very soon looking very springy today so is everybody feeling springy.
00:01:19.710 --> 00:01:29.460 Pat Duckworth: Have you got daffodils in your garden or slow drops of fading away now but hellebores I had to look it up what they were I had beautiful flowers I just had to check.
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:43.980 Pat Duckworth: Over hellebores which is really good but hiaasen so fading away the butts are coming on the wisteria it's all looking good, as you can tell, I am in nature girl I love getting out in my garden and seeing everything starting to blossom.
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:54.960 Pat Duckworth: So I hope you're getting that spring feeling out the only downside is as the sun comes through that angle, in the spring, it shows up where all the dust is now and.
00:01:55.890 --> 00:02:03.810 Pat Duckworth: Hence the spring cleaning, I mean you gotta get with dustin out or find somebody who gets the dust out one or the other.
00:02:04.290 --> 00:02:13.830 Pat Duckworth: Good so let's have a look at what's been in the press, the media about menopause this week, so the first one, I found kind of made my soul sing a bit.
00:02:14.430 --> 00:02:24.030 Pat Duckworth: it's on the good men project website, how to be a loving partner for someone who's going through menopause yes please.
00:02:24.570 --> 00:02:39.930 Pat Duckworth: By learning about menopause being patient with your partner and keeping an open line of communication, you can help ease your loved ones difficulties, through this time, this may mean taking on an extra load of work at times yes.
00:02:41.220 --> 00:02:50.430 Pat Duckworth: Perhaps you're doing the spring cleaning or being comfortable having sex less frequently than you did previously that's a whole other show we've talked about before.
00:02:50.850 --> 00:02:57.150 Pat Duckworth: Being a caring partner during menopause can strengthen your bond and help your partner feel loved and supported.
00:02:57.480 --> 00:03:06.930 Pat Duckworth: We know there's research that women who are supported at menopause at home in the workplace have a better experience so yes please be good partners.
00:03:07.440 --> 00:03:14.730 Pat Duckworth: have to do research on menopause and how it affects the body, you may be curious as to how you can help ease your partner's symptoms.
00:03:15.300 --> 00:03:21.240 Pat Duckworth: By offering comfort to your partner emotionally, you can help them go through this process feeling less alone.
00:03:21.630 --> 00:03:28.500 Pat Duckworth: One of the best things you can do is ask your partner, what will help them feel supported and listen to them wholeheartedly.
00:03:29.010 --> 00:03:39.360 Pat Duckworth: By working as a team, you can help them in apple's process feel less daunting yes, you can keeping that communication open being prepared to listen.
00:03:39.870 --> 00:03:47.160 Pat Duckworth: often women don't want you to solve their problems they just want you to listen and hear what's going on for them, in fact.
00:03:47.670 --> 00:03:58.710 Pat Duckworth: If, when i'm talking to my husband often lunchtime over a meal, I say to him i've got a problem I don't want you to solve it, I just want you to listen, as I talk about it.
00:03:59.580 --> 00:04:13.770 Pat Duckworth: He loves that because he can just go Okay, he doesn't have to have his brain working on what the solution is, I just want to unload and he helps me with that so that is being a good partner and not saying.
00:04:15.090 --> 00:04:18.540 Pat Duckworth: My mom went through this and she didn't have a problem with it please don't say.
00:04:20.790 --> 00:04:32.790 Pat Duckworth: b&c women's health women's experiences in the transition to menopause of qualitative research studies so we like seeing some research being done this particular study.
00:04:33.780 --> 00:04:44.640 Pat Duckworth: was done in Iran in 2020 the study suggested the women's experience of the transition to menopause was characterized by the fear of the future.
00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:52.560 Pat Duckworth: Dr Valerie and I are going to be talking about women's mindset and how to be positive, so I think this is really important.
00:04:53.010 --> 00:04:57.570 Pat Duckworth: The fear of the future and its consequences and the need for reassurance about it.
00:04:58.050 --> 00:05:03.900 Pat Duckworth: Besides the women sought solutions to their problems in health care providers peers and the family.
00:05:04.290 --> 00:05:17.250 Pat Duckworth: The results of the study indicated that the participants his experience of pre menopause were characterized by gradual exposure to new changes that were taking place with unknown causes so often women.
00:05:17.940 --> 00:05:25.260 Pat Duckworth: haven't done their research about pre multiples of perimenopause and then they don't really know what's going on and why they feel different.
00:05:26.190 --> 00:05:39.150 Pat Duckworth: feeling changes all participants pointed to physical, psychological and sexual changes, including skin changes wasting and hot flushes body aches lack of energy sleep disorders, etc.
00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:46.860 Pat Duckworth: The analysis of the participants experience indicating negative behavior or mood reactions or caused by the changes in them.
00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:57.660 Pat Duckworth: affecting their relationships with their partners and children so that's why you've got to listen, so that you know that relationship doesn't deteriorate.
00:05:58.320 --> 00:06:09.630 Pat Duckworth: Fear of the systems and aggravation Simpsons following the changes women stated that they were struggling with disturbing thoughts about their disabilities and getting old quickly.
00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:20.580 Pat Duckworth: Okay, another mindset thing we need to talk about the course was not important to them, but the consequence that is old age and disability was highlighted by them.
00:06:20.880 --> 00:06:27.150 Pat Duckworth: Furthermore, they were afraid that these changes, these changes would remain stable and get worse.
00:06:27.630 --> 00:06:45.030 Pat Duckworth: Most of the participants stated that they were trying to reduce the problems by engaging in activities and hobbies such as exercising going out with friends shopping etc and reduce the problems by senior consultant and Dr following the recommendations provided by them so.
00:06:46.050 --> 00:06:55.980 Pat Duckworth: None of those are talking about well what, what do you need to do internally, how do you need to be thinking about it what's the changes that are going on, oh so glad we've got you on the show Dr Wagner.
00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:09.630 Pat Duckworth: Another thing that's been coming up it's been cropping up in media recently i've seen it several times this one is from psychology today magazine ADHD and menopausal madness so.
00:07:10.770 --> 00:07:16.500 Pat Duckworth: Women feeling like they're getting hyper active and they've got attention deficit.
00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:25.380 Pat Duckworth: Women who've already been tagged with the label ADHD may become increasingly concerned about their symptoms getting worse rather than better.
00:07:25.980 --> 00:07:33.990 Pat Duckworth: Those women who do not have this label and go through menopause might question whether they've been walking around with undiagnosed ADHD.
00:07:34.350 --> 00:07:39.960 Pat Duckworth: Or, if this is a foreshadowing of the future with dementia again another mindset issue.
00:07:40.410 --> 00:07:46.230 Pat Duckworth: And this is a problem that i'm seeing where women think well what's going on in my brain.
00:07:46.590 --> 00:07:58.080 Pat Duckworth: Have I had a problem that's now coming out further or Is this something that i'm going into, we know that there are chemical changes in the brain at menopause there's a lot more research going into it.
00:07:59.370 --> 00:08:07.620 Pat Duckworth: So those of you who are already active or very active members of the fast mind club, which is obviously a club for ADHD.
00:08:08.130 --> 00:08:26.940 Pat Duckworth: This amps up the existing challenges, without executive functioning systems basically we may have gotten a grip on the kids the checkbook adult in general, even a pandemic and then, when the medicals induced hormonal cocktail noxious over like a tropical storm going hurricane.
00:08:27.990 --> 00:08:35.100 Pat Duckworth: what's worse is that many female fast minders are not aware of a menopausal madness that stirs up our executive functioning.
00:08:35.460 --> 00:08:40.890 Pat Duckworth: So their recommendations, this is a much longer article but i'm summing up here.
00:08:41.370 --> 00:08:52.110 Pat Duckworth: Their first recommendation ignore the judges, but it's always a good recommendation midlife women really don't care what people think, at this stage anyway embrace it yes.
00:08:52.620 --> 00:09:02.370 Pat Duckworth: seek higher ground if the judges somehow sneak under your radar seek higher ground immediately, this means finding someone who's a fan of you, and a great listener.
00:09:02.640 --> 00:09:12.150 Pat Duckworth: Who can tell you how amazing you are also remember that when anyone criticizes or judges it says everything about the person judging and nothing about us.
00:09:12.480 --> 00:09:23.970 Pat Duckworth: don't let that stick a pin in your happy double good advice realize that you are gifted you have a wild and wonderful mind that is also gifted with very natural creativity.
00:09:25.740 --> 00:09:40.680 Pat Duckworth: Good good tip think about what your gifts are remember that you're fun to be around, we have a great sense of humor and often the life of the party boring people are jealous of us, let me remember that you're forgiving yes forgive people.
00:09:42.600 --> 00:09:50.370 Pat Duckworth: I don't know what else to say about that do what you need to do as long as it does not interfere with the path of someone else do whatever you need to do to manage your day.
00:09:51.270 --> 00:10:02.430 Pat Duckworth: beam me up scotty if you find yourself reaching boiling point get out of dodge before you erupt good tip calling the troops have a chat with your partner, family and or friends.
00:10:02.880 --> 00:10:16.380 Pat Duckworth: embrace your interest based nervous system set the bar at doing your best having the bar set doing your best each day is one of the best things that you can do be understanding and loving of yourself yes please.
00:10:17.790 --> 00:10:25.230 Pat Duckworth: So i'm going to finish on another positive note this comes from news medical every early menopause nope.
00:10:26.970 --> 00:10:35.220 Pat Duckworth: Sorry, the northern ECHO, not a newspaper I normally turn to it comes from the north of England, nothing against it it's just not what I normally see.
00:10:35.610 --> 00:10:40.980 Pat Duckworth: breakthrough multiples test could help save the National Health Service 500 million pounds.
00:10:41.640 --> 00:10:50.490 Pat Duckworth: To I can age, based in the catalyst on newcastle's helix development is bringing a whole new aspect of human biology to consumers.
00:10:50.790 --> 00:11:01.050 Pat Duckworth: With a test that analyzes sugar molecules to determine your biological age looking deeper into the predictive capabilities of the glycans look like an age team.
00:11:01.410 --> 00:11:16.830 Pat Duckworth: have been designing another take home blood test minnow age, which has the potential to diagnose perimenopause and menopause salting women supporting women in the UK and across the world to receive an accurate diagnosis and optimize treatment.
00:11:17.640 --> 00:11:24.900 Pat Duckworth: is intended to become a test for diagnosing perimenopause in an accurate rapidly deployable and cost effective manner.
00:11:25.320 --> 00:11:43.320 Pat Duckworth: Early diagnosis Medical School need to prompt treatment that's preventing and alleviating symptoms associated with aging with a wide range of health and societal benefits few some good news earlier testing could be a real godsend for.
00:11:45.750 --> 00:11:55.110 Pat Duckworth: Valerie so there's lots of things to talk about in just what i've bought up there, what came up for you, as I was reading all of that well I kept thinking.
00:11:55.140 --> 00:11:59.070 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Everything that you were saying was tying right into what we're going to talk about.
00:12:00.300 --> 00:12:13.440 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And this really is an opportunity for women going through menopause to make a shift that helps them transcend and i'm excited for our conversation pat.
00:12:13.800 --> 00:12:20.940 Pat Duckworth: yeah I knew all of that would come up in the press this week yeah well, we did because we put it out there and.
00:12:28.890 --> 00:12:31.560 Pat Duckworth: I mean we're gonna talk about all the negative.
00:12:32.670 --> 00:12:50.100 Pat Duckworth: messaging that we get around this and often when i'm looking through all the press reports it's so tough to find things that are positive and I get women saying to me, are there any positives around medicals with yes there's a lot firstly you're still alive.
00:12:54.630 --> 00:13:04.590 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: You can actually look at your menopausal symptoms and talk about them relative to the way life used to be you're still living your life and that's really an important yeah.
00:13:05.010 --> 00:13:14.820 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Whenever we're going through these things right whenever and that's really a critical place to land is yeah but i'm still here So how do I do it from here on forward.
00:13:15.090 --> 00:13:27.960 Pat Duckworth: Because the average age of menopause is 5152 and that hasn't changed in hundreds of years, despite all the changes in our lifestyles in our.
00:13:29.040 --> 00:13:38.160 Pat Duckworth: Nutrition in our exercise it's still around that time now, if we go back just a few generations a lot of women didn't make it that far.
00:13:40.350 --> 00:13:45.690 Pat Duckworth: So every day I wake up my put my hands over my heart, I say thank you for another day.
00:13:47.100 --> 00:13:55.470 Pat Duckworth: Thank you for my peaceful comfortable bed, thank you, thank you and kind of bring it all really well and yes.
00:13:55.560 --> 00:14:04.200 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And we can also think our bodies like get into a deeper relationship with love and acceptance of your body, and thank you for.
00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:16.950 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Bringing you this far and that this is a new chapter and our relationships going to evolve, but you're at the ready trusting that your body's doing its best for you.
00:14:17.220 --> 00:14:21.300 Pat Duckworth: yeah absolutely and what a miracle just breathing is.
00:14:22.890 --> 00:14:32.280 Pat Duckworth: I remember going to a Michael neal conference I don't know if you know, Michael neal he's North American I think he's lived in the UK for a long while, and he is a coach.
00:14:32.640 --> 00:14:39.000 Pat Duckworth: have quite a famous coach here he's written a number of books, I remember going to a conference and he stood there, and he said.
00:14:39.330 --> 00:14:51.300 Pat Duckworth: Would anybody like to experience a miracle and everybody say yeah me me me me said oh Kevin James form, if you close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath in let it out what a miracle.
00:14:53.400 --> 00:14:54.150 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: You go.
00:14:54.780 --> 00:14:58.680 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Put hard expect a miracle.
00:14:58.740 --> 00:14:59.250 yeah.
00:15:01.230 --> 00:15:03.780 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: yeah like to live it's right here next to me.
00:15:04.830 --> 00:15:20.310 Pat Duckworth: So so join us after the break when will be going to talk into the wonderful miraculous Dr Valerie shepherd and we're going to be talking about her steps to really having a positive life we'll see you after the break.
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00:17:34.050 --> 00:17:48.960 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show where my guest today is Dr Valerie shepherd and our subject today is soaring into menopause we're taking off and lifting off into menopause in a positive way, absolutely.
00:17:50.010 --> 00:18:01.080 Pat Duckworth: So let me tell you a bit about dots Valerie she's a catastrophic stroke survivor self mastery expert and CEO of the heart the Center for mindfulness and self mastery.
00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:07.380 Pat Duckworth: She helps people transform their lives from the inside out using her proprietary four step process.
00:18:07.710 --> 00:18:21.120 Pat Duckworth: And the other spiritual principles and practices in her multi award winning an absolutely excellent number one international bestseller living happy to be me don't sing your song lifestyle.
00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:27.420 Pat Duckworth: Finally, received a PhD in consciousness and human potential in 2021 we're still celebrating.
00:18:27.840 --> 00:18:37.530 Pat Duckworth: And it's on the board of the evolutionary business Council she's a member of the National society of leadership and success and a recipient of its excellence in service aboard.
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:44.730 Pat Duckworth: Other recognition includes the 2021 Barbara Marx hubbard outstanding evolutionary leader award fantastic.
00:18:45.060 --> 00:18:51.930 Pat Duckworth: And the 2020 platinum mentorship award she's frequently featured guest on podcasts you may have heard her here before.
00:18:52.320 --> 00:19:06.870 Pat Duckworth: On talk radio dot nyc and on radio and TV shows as an expert on leadership fulfillment and happiness big welcome Dr Valerie and you just come back from a conference where you've been speaking.
00:19:07.560 --> 00:19:18.150 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Yes, indeed I have it was very it was on the east coast, so it was a nice travel trip from my West Coast town and I got to see family on both ends of it, you can't beat that.
00:19:19.620 --> 00:19:29.130 Pat Duckworth: Excellent and i'm very grateful to you for getting up early in the morning as you're in California and it's afternoon here so i'm very grateful that you've got up this morning.
00:19:30.090 --> 00:19:37.500 Pat Duckworth: Although if you get up early every morning I know it's not a special thing, but I especially coming on the podcast.
00:19:37.950 --> 00:19:38.970 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: that's all for you Pal.
00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:43.530 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: With you it's really awesome Thank you so much for having me.
00:19:44.220 --> 00:20:00.360 Pat Duckworth: it's great to see you because we don't get to see each other, often so it's always good so tell us a bit about your early career, because you started out in in with a corporate fairly successful corporate career what what was happening with you there.
00:20:01.380 --> 00:20:14.790 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: yeah I started my career in marketing and business strategy I got my MBA in marketing and logistics, I worked at Procter and Gamble for about nine and a half 10 years working in the pharmaceutical.
00:20:16.620 --> 00:20:36.270 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Business unit in their healthcare global business unit and did some consulting i've worked with nonprofits and I rounded out my corporate career as a Vice President of marketing running about a billion dollar portfolio of national and regional brands, so it was all about.
00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:47.700 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Marketing messaging business strategy talking to consumers and creating value for them and for our shareholders.
00:20:48.510 --> 00:20:53.760 Pat Duckworth: And how did you transition into the sort of work that you're doing now, which is so important.
00:20:54.870 --> 00:20:59.520 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: It was a combination of being fueled by.
00:21:00.990 --> 00:21:11.460 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: kind of out of this world, not so conscious things that contributed to me landing at places where a conscious choice was asking to be made.
00:21:11.730 --> 00:21:20.040 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So what I mean by that is little things happen, I asked coffee questions like huh wonder what this is doing here huh.
00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:31.020 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: There was a time pat when I really didn't believe that my life should be my life, like, I really was on a on a path where it's like whose life in my living because this doesn't feel like.
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:41.610 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: What I want my life to be about and this doesn't feel like why i'm here, so it was a combination of things coming together really important points and.
00:21:42.180 --> 00:21:54.150 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And this is what is part of what we'll talk about today and being consciously awake in my life to be able to go Okay, this is a pivotal moment what am I going to do, who am I going to be.
00:21:54.840 --> 00:22:05.160 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Going forward, and as i'm making this choice, and those are critical aspects of you know co creating a life that you love to live.
00:22:05.370 --> 00:22:06.660 Pat Duckworth: yeah oh.
00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:22.410 Pat Duckworth: We could just stop there, and keep going but anyway looks like this was a bit more about your experience so when I first met you, which I think was 2016 you are in recovery from your stroke.
00:22:23.730 --> 00:22:33.630 Pat Duckworth: At that time, were the medical team you're working with saying that mindset was important or was that something that just came to you that it was important.
00:22:34.800 --> 00:22:44.130 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Now that the mindset being important was already written in my book, my book was completed it was supposed to be launched.
00:22:44.670 --> 00:22:53.310 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: About two months after the stroke happened in 2015 so by the time I was going through the stroke itself and.
00:22:53.730 --> 00:23:02.880 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: i'm still on this I don't know when it will end it's like it's just the journey at this point it's six and a half years in i'm still on that journey of.
00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:15.990 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Dealing with the fallout or the ramifications or the LIFE changes the physiological mental emotional changes as a result of the stroke and yes indeed mindset.
00:23:16.350 --> 00:23:23.940 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Is I don't really talk about it as much about mindset I talk about it, for me, as my spiritual anchoring so getting beyond the.
00:23:24.450 --> 00:23:39.960 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: The third dimension of the earth and living as an integrated spiritual human person, and that means activating my superpowers, along with my you know earthly physiological mental emotional powers that come along with being a human.
00:23:41.250 --> 00:23:52.800 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So yes, the short answer is, of course, it is, it is something that has helped me get through this period, but it didn't start as a result of this period.
00:23:53.760 --> 00:24:04.440 Pat Duckworth: And mostly ever mentioned by your medical team did they know, do you think they do I think change at all, do you think it's ever mentioned, now that mindset is important.
00:24:06.030 --> 00:24:17.850 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I don't know if universally considered, I think there are some places, especially in like life threatening illnesses like cancer and other things where.
00:24:18.120 --> 00:24:25.260 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: People need to have kind of integrated management of healthcare, I think, in those systems.
00:24:25.890 --> 00:24:35.880 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Whether you have an oncologist working with a psychologist working with a you know somebody who's managing the side effects which can be pretty monster monumental with some of the chemotherapies.
00:24:36.510 --> 00:24:46.230 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I think it's more universally accepted practice there, I will say this, you know, having worked in pharmaceuticals i've worked in the healthcare industry for a while.
00:24:48.390 --> 00:24:54.930 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I think what's missing in many circumstances is not what the doctors do it's what the patients do and.
00:24:55.830 --> 00:25:03.720 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And that patients are really being called into a space of conscious co creation of their world.
00:25:04.080 --> 00:25:18.840 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And they're not getting what they believe they need that i'm like I have learned, I asked questions if i'm not happy, I make a statement of my dissatisfaction, I asked what more is possible, I look for alternatives and worst case scenario.
00:25:19.380 --> 00:25:26.730 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I don't work with that doctor anymore yeah and it's unfortunate but i've seen in.
00:25:28.290 --> 00:25:32.340 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Older you know the older generation Boomer an older.
00:25:33.930 --> 00:25:39.690 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: We have a a training a conditioning around what is called white coat syndrome.
00:25:39.720 --> 00:25:43.740 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Well learned intermediaries like physicians.
00:25:44.790 --> 00:25:56.070 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Are kind of the penultimate and we don't question them and there's an assumption that if they didn't say something that it should not have been said and.
00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:06.660 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: If they didn't offer an alternative there isn't an alternative and i've seen this with my mom and really getting her and if i'm not there, getting her to say.
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:18.870 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And what are my other options Besides this, and I did my own research and I noticed you didn't mention this, what are your thoughts about that.
00:26:19.260 --> 00:26:26.580 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And i've seen that in her care, and in my care after the stroke, where i've gone to the doctor and said they never mentioned, for example, for me.
00:26:26.970 --> 00:26:39.570 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: They never mentioned berry berry Patrick oxygen chambers and everybody was telling me, have you talked to her, and I was like I don't even know what that is so, I went in and asked and I didn't like my doctor's response, so I started doing.
00:26:40.980 --> 00:26:44.220 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Like do you would like a butterfly or a little be hummingbird.
00:26:44.550 --> 00:26:45.660 Pat Duckworth: go over here over there.
00:26:45.990 --> 00:27:01.170 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And made some decisions on my own about it, so I would suggest to your audience that one of the best things they can do is become their vocal advocate their own vocal advocate that doesn't mean always being.
00:27:02.550 --> 00:27:05.340 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: shirley maclaine in terms of endearment Do you remember that.
00:27:05.340 --> 00:27:16.560 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: CA hanging on again my daughter that shot like times i've had to do that, and there are few and far between and we have to be prepared to run that whole gamut.
00:27:17.460 --> 00:27:25.650 Pat Duckworth: yeah we've talked a lot about self advocacy actually and I was really fortunate some years ago, I was doing a.
00:27:26.700 --> 00:27:41.490 Pat Duckworth: Distance learning degree and one of the courses I choose was called professional judgment and you, and it was questioning like how doctors make decisions and I developed a gallstone.
00:27:42.090 --> 00:27:51.300 Pat Duckworth: And I was, I was referred to a hospital and the doctor said okay we're going to do an operation, and it will be removed.
00:27:52.440 --> 00:28:02.880 Pat Duckworth: And I said, can I just stop you there a moment and how about keyhole surgery, and he said you're not suitable for it, and I said why am I suitable.
00:28:03.900 --> 00:28:12.390 Pat Duckworth: And he said you're just not I said, well, I don't want to have the surgery at the moment, there were a whole load of reasons, anyway, he was furious I mean.
00:28:13.020 --> 00:28:20.940 Pat Duckworth: erupted out the wrong, he said he said you're a very stupid woman Thank you yeah absolutely and.
00:28:21.330 --> 00:28:30.810 Pat Duckworth: So I went to see my own doctor and I told him what had been said, and I said I was a little bit concerned because you know I just upset the consultant.
00:28:31.530 --> 00:28:39.420 Pat Duckworth: And he said don't worry about it, he said, I think perhaps he's never done a keyhole surgery on this, I said, I think that too.
00:28:40.050 --> 00:28:55.140 Pat Duckworth: And only about a year later, we moved back to where I live, now the doctor referred me to the hospital, they were doing a lot of keyhole surgery, and I actually heard the consultant dictated Melissa to my doctor saying missy start with is entirely suitable for keyhole surgery.
00:28:56.550 --> 00:28:56.970 Pat Duckworth: Oh so.
00:28:58.020 --> 00:29:06.900 Pat Duckworth: Okay, so let but that's about as the first point self advocacy understanding what you're going through being able to advocate for what you want.
00:29:07.320 --> 00:29:22.650 Pat Duckworth: is incredibly important sorry we've got the end of the second section here and we haven't even well we started to give a taste of where we are all of this join us after the break for more amazing tips on how to have a positive mindset.
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00:31:26.970 --> 00:31:40.590 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause and we've already got into this about how we need to advocate for ourselves and understand what's going on for us.
00:31:41.430 --> 00:31:48.180 Pat Duckworth: i'd love to talk to you more about the subject your dissertation because it was such a powerful piece of work Valerie but.
00:31:48.690 --> 00:32:06.390 Pat Duckworth: Time is going to be against us, I really want to talk about your four steps and how you apply them and I just want to address that fight, I think, saying mindset, but you're not really a talking about mindset you're talking about so much more so tell me about that sure.
00:32:06.690 --> 00:32:13.980 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So my four step process it's called the living happy to be me four step process and living happy to me is rooted in.
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:24.000 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: spiritual stuff so the the spiritual laws spiritual practices spiritual understanding and one of the most important understandings is that.
00:32:24.240 --> 00:32:31.830 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Your brain is not as powerful as your heart there's scientific data that shows that the heart has neurons in it that the heart.
00:32:32.190 --> 00:32:38.430 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: starts beating before the brain has even formed in a fetus like there are a number of reasons to focus.
00:32:38.850 --> 00:32:49.230 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Pulling your energy down from your head into your solar plexus into your heart region and getting the intuitive sense of you, the seat of the soul many.
00:32:49.830 --> 00:33:02.520 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: religions and spiritual practices around the world, consider the heart the seat of the soul and like getting beyond that, in this world of this world intellectual anchoring of the brain we're taught that a lot.
00:33:02.850 --> 00:33:07.470 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And there's much more to us than that so that's kind of the foundation of what I do.
00:33:08.610 --> 00:33:21.840 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I also talk about dancing a light style Li gh T St wiley that's a new word light style the whole idea is there that we're lightening up and letting go of all these anchors.
00:33:22.050 --> 00:33:31.530 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: That can hold us down emotional anchors physiological and anchors belief system intellect anchors that can way our our bodies down physiologically.
00:33:31.860 --> 00:33:41.160 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: But also, where our lives down with like what we should be doing what we shouldn't have done and old emotional what I call junk in the trunk from the past.
00:33:41.550 --> 00:33:49.320 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: That really keeps us kind of what I speak for myself has kept me in the past kind of contracted and in a space of.
00:33:49.770 --> 00:33:59.370 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I didn't do it right i'm not enough i'm not lovable I don't know i'm all of the knots all the negative, and so the four step processes, how do you free yourself from that.
00:33:59.700 --> 00:34:17.310 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: How do you really create a relationship with your life as the co creator of that life to lead it in a way that is inspiring is magnetic for the things that you want is like protective and repelling of the things that you don't, and so the four step process.
00:34:18.330 --> 00:34:27.660 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Wake up to the truth of who you are you're more than just human you have superpowers their innate they were endowed with you when you came into the planet Earth.
00:34:27.990 --> 00:34:34.560 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And, knowing that believing that and activating them activating them in your life is how you transcend.
00:34:34.860 --> 00:34:45.090 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: The basic human experience, while you're still living the human experience transcending and including yeah step two is shake up and release.
00:34:45.630 --> 00:34:49.740 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Like release the stuff that doesn't align with number one.
00:34:50.670 --> 00:35:00.030 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: number two is make up a new story of you, in your life that's one of the most important things for your audience make up your own story about what this journey called.
00:35:00.480 --> 00:35:17.130 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: menopause you don't even have to call it that that's someone else's clinical term it comes laden with a whole bunch of stuff yeah you could just say i'm not gonna deal with that make up a new story of you, in your life and then yeah for is take up the reins and go live it.
00:35:17.730 --> 00:35:20.580 Pat Duckworth: yay I love all the steps.
00:35:22.620 --> 00:35:32.370 Pat Duckworth: we're trying to expand on the most I think the new story thing is so important let's linger there for a moment, because all of the words around men.
00:35:33.030 --> 00:35:42.510 Pat Duckworth: Sometimes when i'm doing a workshop or a webinar or even working one to one with somebody I say, give me some positive words around multiples and if I.
00:35:44.610 --> 00:36:00.690 Pat Duckworth: And in fact menopause is sometimes used as an insult it's used as a negative descriptor there was a Member of Parliament here in the UK who described the economy as menopausal.
00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:17.370 Pat Duckworth: He wasn't using that word in a good way he wasn't saying hey look it's still alive, he was going oh there's something wrong with it and that's what his audience would have heard, in fact, a female MP pulled him up on it so don't use that don't do it so.
00:36:18.690 --> 00:36:25.290 Pat Duckworth: in getting to this stage of life and really engaging with our hearts and how we feel.
00:36:26.490 --> 00:36:34.560 Pat Duckworth: How do we go about building that new story around what we're experiencing so that's a beautiful question and to that.
00:36:34.590 --> 00:36:39.600 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: MP, I would you know let's let's us women see if we can come up with a way to use erectile.
00:36:39.600 --> 00:36:40.260 dysfunction.
00:36:41.850 --> 00:36:50.190 Pat Duckworth: You know it's like it doesn't have to be something that's going wrong with women will use something else that men are afraid of it yeah, we could say that economies looking a bit floppy.
00:36:52.500 --> 00:36:53.160 Pat Duckworth: yeah we got.
00:36:53.190 --> 00:37:04.290 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: We got a little dysfunction yeah anyway well that was cute for a second but I don't really mean that but yeah yes like let's clean up the language, so what i'm talking about is a conscious reframe.
00:37:04.650 --> 00:37:13.650 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So we're being conscious about it it's not accidental it's not it's not really dependent on whether the MP says men are positive and negative way or not it's.
00:37:13.950 --> 00:37:22.290 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: it's like Well he can do whatever he wants, you know when we were young pat we used to say i'm rubber you're glue whatever you say step bounces off of me and sticks on you.
00:37:22.590 --> 00:37:28.020 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: it's kind of like that kind of childish playful reframe like the title of my book has.
00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:40.530 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: dancing your soul lifestyle dancing was chosen on purpose, because for me that's light that's fun, it involves movement energy all kinds of things that can move things into a different direction.
00:37:41.010 --> 00:37:56.760 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So what we're talking about is women, creating their own relationship with the transition their own relationship, just like we might have to create a transition with becoming an empty nester or becoming retired like.
00:37:57.720 --> 00:38:06.990 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: In all of the transitions of life, one of the things that happens is, we can get caught up in other people's definitions other people's stories when I.
00:38:07.590 --> 00:38:19.740 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: First, got out of the hospital after the brain hemorrhage I went to I looked up and went to a stroke support group here in orange county where I live.
00:38:20.370 --> 00:38:32.940 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And I thought I was going there on purpose to see because I had never done stroke recovery before and I was going there to see what other people were doing and learn from some of the experts and have some.
00:38:33.420 --> 00:38:39.150 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: camaraderie around me because I also didn't know anybody who had survived a stroke, the way I had so.
00:38:39.990 --> 00:38:55.920 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: But what I what I experienced when I went there that made me not go back, I went probably four or five times and then I was like that's it I can't do it anymore what I experienced there was this sort of collective bonding around the suffering.
00:38:56.370 --> 00:39:08.550 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: hmm collective bonding around what's not working collective bonding bonding around the negatives and very little around What more is possible.
00:39:09.030 --> 00:39:19.710 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And so, in my body of work it's all around the possibilities that exist in spite of what looks like nothing yeah and.
00:39:20.190 --> 00:39:39.420 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I even felt at one point I brought up possibilities and I was sort of beaten back down and somebody said, well, the only reason you can do that is because your stroke wasn't as bad as mine, and that was when i've had enough it's like okay we're not going to get into the suffering Olympics.
00:39:39.660 --> 00:39:40.410 Pat Duckworth: yeah and that's.
00:39:40.470 --> 00:39:58.500 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: This is what I encourage and invite your precious audience to keep in mind it's absolutely maybe okay so i'll take the absolutely out that out of there, there are times when self education is absolutely necessary and here's what I would say about that.
00:40:00.570 --> 00:40:15.000 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I would create my own relationship with dynamics before I go educate myself on what the dynamics are supposed to be, because what i'm trying to have people avoid is the concept of self fulfilling prophecy.
00:40:15.090 --> 00:40:16.440 Pat Duckworth: yeah with us that once we.
00:40:16.500 --> 00:40:32.340 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: introduce an idea, the mind, so the brains particular activating system will go around and search for data that fits that idea that's what the brain does that's why i'm so focused on the heart and the brain does it parasympathetic Lee it just does it.
00:40:33.090 --> 00:40:51.540 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: that's what the brain does, we need our brains to do that, not necessarily around everything and not necessarily before we've already chosen using the hearts wisdom, what is it that's important for me and my experience, so this conscious reframe means.
00:40:52.560 --> 00:41:14.580 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: it's fine that i'm told when menopause starts what its gonna look like I would I would caution people, maybe don't create such an absolute truth relationship with what you read and learn you could you read it and learn it in a space of as eckart tolle a would say hmm is that so.
00:41:16.290 --> 00:41:28.620 Pat Duckworth: I love that I love it because it's important to be informed and it's important to work for every person's experience of their life is different.
00:41:29.370 --> 00:41:41.940 Pat Duckworth: We may have very similar bodies and frameworks, but how it operates is different for everybody and every person's experience of menopause is different.
00:41:42.570 --> 00:41:51.120 Pat Duckworth: Yours will be different from your mom's your sisters your friends and just because somebody says Oh, this was really bad.
00:41:51.750 --> 00:42:00.090 Pat Duckworth: That doesn't mean it's your experience, and so let go of what isn't working for you be informed by inner.
00:42:00.900 --> 00:42:11.940 Pat Duckworth: Interesting kind of way, and you know if something happens you go oh okay that was that thing that was talked about, and I can do something about that I think that's so important.
00:42:12.390 --> 00:42:19.050 Pat Duckworth: And Valerie one of the things I noticed about you, I mean you know, in the past few years we've been seeing each other on zoom calls.
00:42:19.410 --> 00:42:33.390 Pat Duckworth: Is that when something comes up for you an emotion, or something you stop you pause and go hmm, let me just take a moment with that rather than, let me just push that down I don't want to deal with it.
00:42:34.050 --> 00:42:45.930 Pat Duckworth: or I don't i'm not interested in whatever it is you very consciously pause to see what's going on, could you just say a little bit about that I love talking about that.
00:42:46.380 --> 00:42:53.940 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: that's a process and to me it is the centerpiece of what conscious co creation is all about.
00:42:54.510 --> 00:43:03.600 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: So I talked in my book, and in my work about my own transition in my life of going from sort of being asleep at the wheel.
00:43:03.930 --> 00:43:12.630 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: of my life, and by that I mean just experiencing everything as it came letting it go OK OK OK OK, and not really.
00:43:13.200 --> 00:43:18.630 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: consciously choosing I had lots of knee jerk reactions and that's what we're talking about here in a conscious reframe.
00:43:19.050 --> 00:43:27.960 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: you're not letting me jerks happen you're not saying oh i'm in the time of life when menopause happens so therefore I expect this this and this and i'm going to do this, this and this.
00:43:28.350 --> 00:43:38.190 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And when you've seen me do that pat that's my conscious moment of coming into the present moment getting clear with my body okay my body speaking to me right now.
00:43:38.520 --> 00:43:47.190 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I hear something happening, I feel, something happening, and this is is not necessary, so usually what I feel is a wave and i'm.
00:43:48.240 --> 00:44:03.840 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: letting myself know that i'm important in my own life and regardless of all the noise that's going on out there what's coming up from in here is what is my guiding North Star and i'm going to take the time to let it speak and to be heard.
00:44:05.370 --> 00:44:12.570 Pat Duckworth: I love that Valerie and when you do it's so powerful and it brings when i'm seeing you do it brings me into the moment of.
00:44:13.050 --> 00:44:24.330 Pat Duckworth: All my responding to that rather than how can I get past it like what is it what is the signal i'm getting I need to pay attention to thank you so much for sharing that.
00:44:24.870 --> 00:44:35.460 Pat Duckworth: Join us after the break when we will be talking more about how we're going into banner Poles or even just pouring into our lives really see you after the break.
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00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:45.240 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the last sector of a hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause when we're having this amazing conversation I absolutely love everything about it.
00:46:45.870 --> 00:47:00.480 Pat Duckworth: there's so much we could talk about foundry I don't know which questions to ask first and we're going to get to your top tip in a moment, but if there's one thing that you think this is really what we've been need to know before we get to your top tip.
00:47:01.770 --> 00:47:19.290 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Yes, so um I love this concept that we're talking about in this conscious reframe, and this is one of my favorite quotes so I apologize women that this is from a man, but i'm a big Marcus aurelius fan, if you are distressed my anything external the pain is not due to the thing itself.
00:47:20.370 --> 00:47:28.320 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: But to your own estimation of it, and this, you have the power to revoke at any moment, and this gets back into that space of.
00:47:28.830 --> 00:47:42.090 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: i'm a conscious creator of my own world so whatever I call a thing is that way, I experienced that thing so when i'm working with clients and they're telling you, but I don't want to talk about it's too painful and i'm like well, is it really.
00:47:42.570 --> 00:47:51.810 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Or is it painful because that's the way you describe it, I remember when I was a child, and if I cut my hand my mom would have me look away like don't look at it.
00:47:52.590 --> 00:48:00.780 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And I know now that what was going on, then was, as soon as I looked at it and saw blood and my skin flat back and stuff.
00:48:01.020 --> 00:48:08.700 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I would create an idea that that looks bad, so I must have a reaction to it that's bad and there'd be crying and wow.
00:48:09.090 --> 00:48:15.390 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And as long as I didn't look and she cleaned the thing off and put the band aid on, and I was like oh band aid let's go back out and play.
00:48:16.230 --> 00:48:26.130 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And that's what mark is releases talking about and that's what the conscious reframe is so even as you're doing your understanding of what this period is, and I would suggest that.
00:48:26.730 --> 00:48:40.080 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Maybe you don't need to know everything about menopause maybe you need to meet with pat and be a part of her community in a space of conscious ignorance like Oh, I will I will take that up when I start to feel it.
00:48:40.530 --> 00:48:52.200 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And until I feel it i'm going to sound okay and create some awareness, without anchoring into it and latching on to it and preparing for it around every corner up.
00:48:52.530 --> 00:49:06.030 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Every every time you feel a little bit of hot, is it a hot flash you could call it that, and then I guarantee your body's going to use your brain and your particular activating system and that's what you're going to have that experience you're going to keep creating.
00:49:07.410 --> 00:49:14.160 Pat Duckworth: it's just so important, of course, you know other people in history have gotten to that conclusion like Viktor frankl in.
00:49:15.540 --> 00:49:27.780 Pat Duckworth: You know, coming out from the concentration camps, and he has led an amazing life and he said it's the meaning you put two things that's important not what happens the meaning you put on it.
00:49:28.080 --> 00:49:38.670 Pat Duckworth: That makes all the difference your experience and you know I love this phase of my life i'm doing brilliantly I probably never had more energy never enjoyed myself so much.
00:49:38.940 --> 00:49:54.990 Pat Duckworth: You see a star I always dance with my music, we need to dance, you know, we need to let go some of the heaviness around this subject and by calling the show hot women if it's funny it's like suits you know who we are women.
00:49:56.400 --> 00:50:02.670 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Women doesn't want to be referred to as hot I definitely want to be in the fact that it's a double entendre I love that even better.
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:03.510 yeah.
00:50:04.830 --> 00:50:17.700 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I do agree with the path that even let's say worst case scenario I don't wanna I don't want to make the victim, the problem and I don't want to pollyanna this okay just change your mindset it'll all be okay that's not what i'm saying.
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:27.180 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: What i'm saying is about transcending and including which means for me, you know i'm still dealing with the ramifications of a brain hemorrhage like.
00:50:27.570 --> 00:50:39.840 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: that's only 15% of all strokes and 85% people die from them so we're talking serious stuff and i'm still dealing with it, and there are times when i'm like this frickin sucks and it really.
00:50:40.200 --> 00:50:44.820 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Like I allow myself to feel the heaviness of it because it's truly heavy.
00:50:45.510 --> 00:50:56.640 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And then I get on with and so am I going to stay there, or am I going to create a life that I enjoy living while while this heavy stuff is here and that's the.
00:50:56.970 --> 00:51:05.220 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: transcending while, including and that's the lightening up that you're talking about like, how can I dance with it, how can I have fun with it, how can I, you know.
00:51:05.490 --> 00:51:19.920 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: A friend of mine created an event called meditation and martinis and in the right before the meditation they were talking about some pretty heavy duty stuff that was going on in their menopausal lives and then the meditation help lighten it up and the martinis did the rest.
00:51:21.480 --> 00:51:27.660 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Like you kind of you kind of grow and your ability to be you living your life.
00:51:29.160 --> 00:51:41.280 Pat Duckworth: And this is a small point, but I actually love that you mentioned, being a pollyanna because I think that's a generational thing, sometimes I say oh i'm not being a pollyanna about this, some people like who was probably.
00:51:43.500 --> 00:51:55.920 Pat Duckworth: Okay that's a generational thing, it was a book, it was on TV, there was a so but yeah moving on from pollyanna give us your one thing that women can be doing your best is tip on this.
00:51:57.120 --> 00:52:06.480 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Oh, this was so hard, I was like wait i've got so many real ones that people have given me and that i've repurposed but, so I think.
00:52:08.520 --> 00:52:14.430 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: i'm going to combine two of them, so one of them a boss told me a long time ago, stop taking the monkey.
00:52:15.060 --> 00:52:22.440 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And long story short, what he was talking about was taking the monkey on my back, and there are ways, where he had observed me.
00:52:22.800 --> 00:52:27.870 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Taking the monkey on my back and then being really frustrated that I had this heavy.
00:52:28.380 --> 00:52:41.760 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: backpack on me was like stop taking the monkey so the way we stopped taking the monkey when it comes to menopause and how heavy it can be and what the symptoms are is to enter this period, even with the conscious awareness that.
00:52:42.600 --> 00:52:53.880 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: i'm in this area, this age that is men, because even with that conscious awareness, can you enter it call yourself into what I call blank slate curiosity.
00:52:54.600 --> 00:53:10.890 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: blank slate curiosity, where you spend less time understanding what everybody else says this is going to be here's what your experience is going to be Valerie here's how you're going to have to deal with this time of your life and enter it going huh.
00:53:11.370 --> 00:53:27.120 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: I wonder what the next year hold, I wonder what the next five minutes hold, I wonder what this period in my life 51 to 52 or 53 to 56 whatever I wonder what this period holds and then activate creativity.
00:53:27.780 --> 00:53:38.730 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: And how you deal with navigate whatever shows up so that you can do that transcending while you're including so maybe three you.
00:53:39.030 --> 00:53:50.340 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Your transcendence is going to come from I think i'd like to paint when I start to feel a little bit frustrated painting quiets that down and allows me to kind of.
00:53:50.670 --> 00:54:00.600 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: Get back into this lightness of being and then I let the period pass or maybe for some others it's going to be reconnecting with nature Oh, for others it might be.
00:54:01.260 --> 00:54:11.370 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: dancing to some crazy music and shaking it off, and maybe it's like I have some sweats so i'm going to get up and i'm going to really sweat i'm exercising like.
00:54:11.610 --> 00:54:31.980 Dr. Valerie René Sheppard: There could be a number of ways that you use blank slate curiosity and then activation of your inner desire for creative expression well ease and transcend while, including whatever is going on in this quote unquote menopausal period of your life.
00:54:32.130 --> 00:54:46.830 Pat Duckworth: I love blank slate curiosity i'm going to have that i've taken that from you, I love it Thank you so much, thank you very this time, as always, has gone super quickly you've given so many great thoughts to as well not thoughts.
00:54:47.340 --> 00:54:54.360 Pat Duckworth: are getting back into our hearts and we're feeling it and processing it, so thank you, thank you it's been wonderful.
00:54:55.230 --> 00:55:06.390 Pat Duckworth: And if you live here in the UK, I am offering a course called working with menopause for therapists and coaches, so you can understand what is going on.
00:55:07.020 --> 00:55:18.000 Pat Duckworth: With curiosity with blank slate curiosity if you'd like to know more about it, you can contact me pat at packed up with.com it's a march the 20th it's going to be great.
00:55:18.630 --> 00:55:27.900 Pat Duckworth: I bring lightness and fun to this subject it's not heavy we can laugh about it, so if you're interested contact me.
00:55:28.260 --> 00:55:42.210 Pat Duckworth: If you've missed any of the other shows you can find them on talk radio dot nyc there are some excellent subjects and my guest next week is the amazing candy barone who ballerina as well too.
00:55:43.320 --> 00:55:48.780 Pat Duckworth: And so, she is going to be talking to us about miracles and being an entrepreneur.
00:55:49.440 --> 00:56:01.650 Pat Duckworth: and stay tuned to talk radio dot nyc for dismantle racism, with the Reverend Dr tlc she's talking about publishing change today and her guest is Brian or haynes.
00:56:02.070 --> 00:56:13.890 Pat Duckworth: And they're going to discuss how to increase the visibility of marginalized writers in the publishing world so that's going to be a really interesting conversation Thank you to fan, who has been my.
00:56:15.060 --> 00:56:25.560 Pat Duckworth: Producer today Thank you so much Valerie i'm going to be writing up your tips and blogging them for anybody who's missed it, but if you have missed a day, where were you.
00:56:25.860 --> 00:56:43.170 Pat Duckworth: And you can find us again on talk radio dot nyc and look for the hot women rock radio show have an amazing week getting touch with your hearts and dance and play and be creative and i'll see here same time next week, thank you for being here.
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