Tips for staying positive and curious about the future.
It has been twelve months since the first Hot Women Rock Radio Show. Nearly fifty amazing guests and such a range of subjects and opinions. Is anything changing about society’s attitude to menopause and women at menopause?
My Guest this week, Kay Newton, was also my first guest on the show. Kay is an award-winning International Speaker, enthusiastic author, and Midlife Strategist. She is passionate about environmental issues that can affect your health, your hormones, and your menopause experience. We will be reflecting back over the last twelve months and sharing our thoughts on future developments.
This is going to be another lively conversation. Join us live at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.
Join me for this essential conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.
Pat starts by announcing that the Hot Women Rock radio show is a year old and that it is the last show before she goes on hiatus for the summer. Pat says that the format of this episode will be different than usual and that she will be co-presenting with her guest Kay Newton. Both Pat and Kay talk about their plans to go on holiday. Pat talks about the changes in the conversations surrounding menopause in the last year. She says that years ago people rarely talked about menopause and there has been a dramatic increase in conversations about it. Kay talks about misinformation and bias in the media. Pat mentions the importance of doing research and being aware of what the various products being marketed towards you actually are.
Pat gives a formal introduction to Kay, who was also the first-ever guest on Hot Women Rock. She is a speaker, author, and midlife strategist who has co-authored many books with Pat. Kay talks about her passion for simplicity in life. She has downsized her life multiple times and has realized that she doesn’t need as much stuff as she initially thought. Pat mentions packing light for her upcoming trip and tells some stories about a trip she took with Kay. Kay and Pat reminisce on that trip and talk about the importance of enjoying a journey and being able to laugh about it even if everything doesn’t go to plan. Pat talks about the bounce-back after menopause. Kay talks more about eliminating things from her life that no longer serve her. She mentions the benefits of getting rid of chemicals, especially those in unnecessary household cleaners.
Kay talks about joining a women’s voyage to look into how plastic affects both the world and women’s hormones. Because of COVID, the voyage took place virtually. She talks about how this voyage led to her and a group of others picking up plastic together and working towards reducing the amount of plastic that gets littered on beaches. Pat talks about the importance of raising awareness so that ignorance is not the cause of people not taking action. Kay asks Pat where she thinks the conversation about menopause is heading. Pat talks about the new generation of women that are increasing the use of technology surrounding menopause. She wants the conversation about menopause to be broad and open as opposed to focusing on one thing. Kay mentions that what works for someone else may not work for you when it comes to health and menopause.
Pat gives an overview of some of the topics she has covered throughout the past year on Hot Women Rock. Kay talks about how important nature is to her happiness. She also talks about ways she takes care of her body in order to help her mind. She specifically mentions doing yoga that strengthens the fascia. Pat talks about the importance of making space for self-care and creating space within relationships. Kay talks about putting yourself first. She also talks about reaching out to others during your midlife for support. Pat can be found at www.patduckworth.com.
00:00:55.050 --> 00:01:06.150 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at metaphors good morning America good afternoon to the UK and Europe, good evening to India and below.
00:01:06.570 --> 00:01:11.520 Pat Duckworth: How is your day going today it has been a busy days, so I will tell you more about it.
00:01:11.970 --> 00:01:18.450 Pat Duckworth: We are in spring here and suddenly we're having April showers and it's June, I have no idea what that's all about.
00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:34.170 Pat Duckworth: My guest today is the wonderful K Newton who is in your part, I did the show from there, three weeks ago and she's joining me today because it's a very special day, it is the first birthday of the hot women rock radio show.
00:01:35.250 --> 00:01:39.540 Pat Duckworth: So I thought we'd do something different we're going to kind of co present today we.
00:01:40.740 --> 00:01:45.810 Pat Duckworth: got Next, it could be mayhem honestly we're just going to see how it goes and.
00:01:47.280 --> 00:01:49.230 Pat Duckworth: And it is the last show.
00:01:50.490 --> 00:02:01.830 Pat Duckworth: Before I take a break for the summer so enjoy this one particularly and if you've got comments little just want to send us some love, we would like that, so you can go to the.
00:02:02.460 --> 00:02:12.300 Pat Duckworth: Top radio dot nyc page on Facebook and you will be obsessed live there, see us looking gorgeous in blue we both got the blue memo today.
00:02:13.110 --> 00:02:22.830 Pat Duckworth: So normally at this stage I would have several documents open on my computer I would be looking at the news reports from the past week.
00:02:23.190 --> 00:02:29.820 Pat Duckworth: I would have case file open, so I could do her justice i've got nothing today okay.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:47.040 Pat Duckworth: What i've got is a suitcase in the hallway because, as soon as we finish i'm grabbing my passport and I am out the door literally a taxis book so we've got first birthday last show going on holiday okay what's going on for you.
00:02:48.090 --> 00:02:49.620 Pat Duckworth: what's happening for you today.
00:02:50.700 --> 00:02:56.670 Kay Newton: First of all of it on mute because my that i'm you I can't tell you anything I just talking and you begin what you.
00:02:58.380 --> 00:03:08.490 Kay Newton: Ladies have things going on here as well at this side i'm so we're going away on Wednesday so yeah so our suitcases a semi packs not fully Pack.
00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:10.440 Pat Duckworth: And you're off stateside.
00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:23.580 Kay Newton: You were off state side so i'm looking forward to that and, ironically, I had a guest jack Perez he writes for cool life staying with us with me, you make use of clash, the two of you was.
00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:32.550 Kay Newton: on holiday, at the same time and and jack's i'd asked me that question she said so Where are you going next word, the next holiday.
00:03:33.510 --> 00:03:51.510 Kay Newton: Are you coming to the states, and I said to you know states not really on my list it's a bit low down and she was really quite well and as synchronicity has it a week later, we were coming to the States So there we are I love it.
00:03:51.810 --> 00:04:00.990 Pat Duckworth: I know it's weird isn't it because she saw that you've got that book about New York on your coffee table and she said, but you've got to talk about New York, yes, somebody gave it to me.
00:04:03.180 --> 00:04:10.410 Kay Newton: classic isn't, it is my recent posting my own group in midlife strategies was literally you know, be careful what you ask for.
00:04:11.460 --> 00:04:27.480 Kay Newton: And I think at the minute I don't know if you're finding this part but i'm finding the synchronicities are you really, really fast and furious so you've got to be very careful what you ask for very specific, because if you know Cuba go, why did that happen.
00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:40.170 Pat Duckworth: I know it's like it would beginning well, probably for the last year again, if only we could talk more about menopause if only there was more in the media about metaphors and now, unlike for heaven's sake.
00:04:40.980 --> 00:04:47.340 Pat Duckworth: Stop writing about fear because well, we can go on to talk about why it's not a good thing.
00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:55.710 Kay Newton: I think that'd be really good to do that, actually, because i'm i'm finding that fascinating as well, I mean you've been reading this show for a year now.
00:04:56.190 --> 00:05:08.700 Kay Newton: And you must find huge changes just in the year, and I know we've talked about this personally, but you know I think it's a really good thing to talk to the audience about I mean when you started, you are really pioneering and now like.
00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:23.160 Pat Duckworth: I know, like 12 years ago when I started out doing therapy and coaching and then I wrote my first book hot women call solutions which is republished last year available on Amazon go buy your copy of what women call solutions.
00:05:24.960 --> 00:05:32.190 Pat Duckworth: When I published that there really wasn't much being talked about in this area and I used to go to networking groups.
00:05:32.520 --> 00:05:39.570 Pat Duckworth: and stand up and say i'm the hot woman we constellations everybody would laugh, because it was just a bit funny and.
00:05:40.260 --> 00:05:52.890 Pat Duckworth: And i'd like what fat white my you talking about that and, particularly, you know i've got so many contacts in America, I will be in America from mid September early October and.
00:05:53.670 --> 00:06:08.220 Pat Duckworth: And so my business contacts would say it's a thing, why are you talking about it, and now that conversation is opening up in America, people like forbes Bloomberg and writing articles about it.
00:06:08.820 --> 00:06:17.910 Pat Duckworth: About menopause in the workplace and seeing so much more it's very slow like taking root in America that this is a subject that we talk about.
00:06:18.330 --> 00:06:30.060 Pat Duckworth: Here in the UK it's it's just almost overwhelming if I was looking at news reports this week I would find 10 to a dozen media reports every day.
00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:36.120 Kay Newton: And I think that for me is the issue that key word here is overwhelmed.
00:06:36.450 --> 00:06:50.040 Kay Newton: yeah because who do you trust in the media, we know we know the media's very biased, you know we you know, with a little bit of intelligence, we know that everything we read we don't necessarily or should not necessarily believe.
00:06:50.700 --> 00:07:06.750 Kay Newton: And it really does get to the point where you use it you read something, and you go now sorry but that's not right and it is it's a real issue now eight overwhelm us too much, so you get to the point where you can't be bothered.
00:07:06.780 --> 00:07:08.250 Kay Newton: Because it's just too much and be.
00:07:08.250 --> 00:07:10.230 Kay Newton: Who do you really reach out to.
00:07:12.210 --> 00:07:15.360 Pat Duckworth: You know, we had that conversation two weeks ago with Rachel.
00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:28.170 Pat Duckworth: Lancaster So if you miss that go back to talk radio dot nyc forward slash hot women rock and have another look at that interview, because we were talking about statistics that have been quoted.
00:07:28.650 --> 00:07:34.320 Pat Duckworth: about the negativity around this subject that there's something wrong with a foot men are pores.
00:07:35.190 --> 00:07:52.530 Pat Duckworth: And you know conflicting views about hormone therapy so yeah it's very difficult for women at a stage in their life, where they might be feeling confused where they really need somebody reliable and they just don't know course it's me in UK.
00:07:55.860 --> 00:08:02.070 Kay Newton: been hacking at this this niche, I suppose, for many, many years, and you know we do sort of.
00:08:03.330 --> 00:08:05.310 Kay Newton: walk out to talk if that makes sense.
00:08:05.370 --> 00:08:15.300 Kay Newton: yeah but yes it is frustrating to see some great you know famous person come along and all of a sudden, become a an expert in a subject that.
00:08:15.630 --> 00:08:27.720 Kay Newton: Yet it touches them because they've reached that age yeah but they're not an expert there any an expert in their own body I should be yes, and I think that's the key here is that most people miss.
00:08:28.230 --> 00:08:37.170 Kay Newton: That we are our own experts and, yes, you quite often need guidance, it helps to have guidance it saves you having to learn the hard way.
00:08:37.470 --> 00:08:48.480 Kay Newton: yeah but yeah you, you know don't take everything that you read this face value do some due diligence do your own research very, very important.
00:08:48.900 --> 00:08:56.490 Pat Duckworth: Yes, so one of my previous guests Valerie shepherd talked about coming through a subject with a blank slate curiosity.
00:08:57.720 --> 00:09:04.470 Pat Duckworth: that's tough because we're not blank slates where the sum of all our experiences and beliefs and values.
00:09:05.550 --> 00:09:10.920 Pat Duckworth: And when we start researching, we need to be curious and.
00:09:10.950 --> 00:09:21.810 Pat Duckworth: Open minded outset but that's the thing and, as you say, to we know our own bodies, better than anybody does, we know our own lives better than anybody else does.
00:09:22.170 --> 00:09:29.910 Pat Duckworth: So what suits us personally is not the same as anybody else and what suits the celebrity living a celebrity life.
00:09:30.540 --> 00:09:41.670 Pat Duckworth: having access to private medicine, having access to a personal trainer a personal nutritionist having the stresses and strains that go with playing a personality.
00:09:42.150 --> 00:09:51.180 Pat Duckworth: That is very different from the lives that most of us lead, so we can look at it with a blank slate curiosity and say that's interesting that that worked for that person.
00:09:51.870 --> 00:10:01.920 Pat Duckworth: And then try and think what does that work for me or how am I or me and another point you just raised about I don't know what it was, but it triggered something in me.
00:10:02.610 --> 00:10:16.200 Pat Duckworth: Is that the market is now looking at men or pause and when I say the market, I mean farmer cuticles toiletries big farmer everybody has suddenly seen this niche.
00:10:16.860 --> 00:10:33.690 Pat Duckworth: But some of us have been toiling in this field for all these years and they've suddenly gone there is money in this and they estimate like 400 billion pound market yeah so ladies, you are being targeted with products.
00:10:34.020 --> 00:10:48.660 Pat Duckworth: and outgoing Oh well, this product, we could rename it as i'm in Nepal something or we could offer you tests, because women won't tests guess what there is no reliable tests for men, of course, there is no reliable tests for men.
00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:57.210 Kay Newton: I love, when you say that immediately made me think of piracy tomorrow, because the piracy tomorrow is the piracy tomorrow.
00:10:57.630 --> 00:11:03.780 Kay Newton: yeah, but we are marketed to believe that we need a piracy to more for this and a piracy tomorrow for that.
00:11:04.140 --> 00:11:13.380 Kay Newton: And our piracy tomorrow for this and a piracy is more for that oh wait wait gullible enough to go out and buy four packets of Paris itamar when actually they're all exactly the same.
00:11:14.130 --> 00:11:16.680 Pat Duckworth: And you know you want you can't buy them in the jungle.
00:11:17.550 --> 00:11:19.590 Kay Newton: Why can't you buy them in the jungle.
00:11:20.370 --> 00:11:21.690 Pat Duckworth: pirate seats are more.
00:11:24.390 --> 00:11:25.890 Kay Newton: You can tell you're going on holiday.
00:11:27.390 --> 00:11:28.230 Pat Duckworth: To do.
00:11:29.400 --> 00:11:39.150 Pat Duckworth: To get that joke it's such a low budget but yeah there's paracetamol for period pains parasitical for back pain paracetamol, for I don't know.
00:11:39.210 --> 00:11:42.120 Kay Newton: safely whatever yeah headaches goes on and on.
00:11:42.780 --> 00:11:44.100 Pat Duckworth: And you get.
00:11:46.560 --> 00:12:03.810 Pat Duckworth: Fitzsimmons and manuals that have been packaged up for men nepal's and you know there's now so many multiples Apps and which is not bad thing, I mean this really good Apps out there, but you gotta look at products and being you know, like these magnets that you could put in your paper.
00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:15.960 Pat Duckworth: So it's just to attract for us to you know I don't know law of attraction, but if you see a new product.
00:12:16.740 --> 00:12:34.140 Pat Duckworth: Go to it with blank slate curiosity Is this a different thing is this something that could be helpful if i'm not sure whether i'm in menopause I mean I had somebody on a call yesterday, and she said to me, I don't know if i'm in perimenopause and 48 I said you're in perimenopause.
00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:35.010 Kay Newton: yeah yeah.
00:12:35.370 --> 00:12:37.050 Pat Duckworth: we've just sorted back problem out.
00:12:37.380 --> 00:12:42.210 Pat Duckworth: yeah I can answer that question because paramount opposes the years leading up to.
00:12:42.210 --> 00:12:52.980 Pat Duckworth: medicals when you may or may not be experiencing symptoms and if the average age in the UK is 52 and 51 in America if you're 48 so important.
00:12:53.880 --> 00:13:09.870 Kay Newton: Especially when payment and then, of course, can be anything for 10 years plus dependent on your body, you know so so yeah definitely and then you wonder why all these things that have been happening to you before you hit menopause and after we take it oh yeah I must have been postmenopausal.
00:13:10.770 --> 00:13:18.840 Pat Duckworth: yeah you know you could pay out money to have tests and the reason they're not reliable is that in this stage as you're heading towards men or pause.
00:13:19.170 --> 00:13:33.030 Pat Duckworth: Your hormones are all over the place, whereas they used to be a sort of steady cycle, they now go up and down a lot, so you could have a blood test, one day, and your estrogen levels might be really low you could go back the next day and they'd be really high.
00:13:33.570 --> 00:13:45.420 Pat Duckworth: yeah you might get one result, one day, and one result, the next, this is why it's unreliable we're not saying it's the fault of the products it's the fault of the marketing because they're not reliable.
00:13:46.710 --> 00:13:55.620 Pat Duckworth: Ah, so many things we know about these things and some companies, they are offering like the test, you know test you for all kinds of stuff.
00:13:57.270 --> 00:14:05.940 Pat Duckworth: If you need to be tested go ahead, but you know just think about it, and think whether it's going to give you anything that's really useful to you right.
00:14:05.940 --> 00:14:08.670 Kay Newton: Like the blank slate and they open the idea.
00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:09.540 Kay Newton: I think that's.
00:14:09.630 --> 00:14:11.100 Kay Newton: fabulous it's a brilliant thing.
00:14:12.090 --> 00:14:19.140 Pat Duckworth: Excellent so join us after the break where who knows what we'll be talking about, but we just know it will be interesting we'll see you after the break.
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00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:43.290 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women radio show where K and I are D more happy today, so my guest in the studio i'm going to give you a formal introduction K is K Newton.
00:16:43.590 --> 00:16:52.050 Pat Duckworth: She was also my first guest, the very first week on the show she's an award winning international speaker and enthusiastic author and we have co authored.
00:16:52.380 --> 00:17:07.110 Pat Duckworth: Five books together she's a midlife strategist she's passionate about environmental issues that can affect your health your hormones and your menopause experience what else K, what else could I have said about you introduce yourself.
00:17:08.070 --> 00:17:17.490 Kay Newton: I always like that question, and when you get to this age in life when you've got you know 60 years of life here on the planet it's like where do you want me to start.
00:17:19.140 --> 00:17:38.730 Kay Newton: You know, have you got a long enough time radio show, I think, really, the key word for me is simplicity and i'm really, really keen on on the fact that you know we can live things live our lifestyle a lot simpler than we do love humans love to company complicate.
00:17:40.500 --> 00:17:44.010 Kay Newton: i've just been writing a post i'm writing a post fall through life at the minute.
00:17:45.330 --> 00:17:52.020 Kay Newton: And it's all about face cream and the anti wrinkle market, you know we were just talking about markets.
00:17:52.410 --> 00:17:59.550 Kay Newton: And it's all about you know why, would you want to go pay an awful lot of money for something that you know, having cause a natural.
00:18:00.120 --> 00:18:08.370 Kay Newton: You know it's a really good sign that we've got them, it means we're still here on the planet, proud of them, you know it shows you that you've done so much in your life.
00:18:09.090 --> 00:18:19.680 Kay Newton: And there's simple solutions and i'm going to give a recipe for my face pregnant is a five minute make at home and it costs you I don't know pennies.
00:18:19.740 --> 00:18:26.700 Kay Newton: You know it's not difficult, and this is the thing that frustrates me, you know, we really do want to complicate things and.
00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:37.920 Pat Duckworth: I remember when I first time I came to visit you in new yorker and you'd made like gift packs for me and me other attend retreat attendees and.
00:18:38.310 --> 00:18:51.930 Pat Duckworth: It was all stuff that you made yourself, you know the deodorant face cream all of that and and they will lovely and you gave us all the recipes for them so yeah your skin looks amazing.
00:18:53.100 --> 00:18:54.810 Pat Duckworth: And you live in a very hot country.
00:18:55.590 --> 00:19:06.240 Kay Newton: And it's very hot today so i'd like to close all the windows and everything so that you know we don't get the noise from outside so yeah I Bobby melted by the time we get to the end of the call.
00:19:06.300 --> 00:19:06.990 I promise.
00:19:10.230 --> 00:19:21.000 Pat Duckworth: You when you went off to live in Zanzibar on you thought you're going for 18 months and it ended up a lot longer than that you took a 20 kilos suitcase that was it wasn't it.
00:19:21.510 --> 00:19:29.610 Kay Newton: yeah and it seemed an awful lot at the time, in many respects, I mean you were with me when we did the whole downsizing.
00:19:30.450 --> 00:19:43.530 Kay Newton: You know experience that was in 2050 you know I went from living a really luxurious lifestyle here in Spain, and you know at 11,000 square meters of land and a six bedroom home, etc.
00:19:44.040 --> 00:19:58.110 Kay Newton: And we downsized it all to just the 20 kilos and it didn't seem to be an awful lot of the time and then later on in the process in the journey in 2017 I walked the camino de Santiago.
00:19:58.830 --> 00:20:13.350 Kay Newton: Which is a pilgrimage walk across the top of Spain and I walked 34 days 729 kilometers with just seven and a half kilos and that when you see your 20 kilos after that you realize that's an awful lot.
00:20:14.550 --> 00:20:17.820 Kay Newton: You know, we put so much stuff in our life that we don't need her.
00:20:18.420 --> 00:20:21.930 Pat Duckworth: yeah you know getting ready to serve going on holiday.
00:20:22.140 --> 00:20:28.020 Kay Newton: You did I have a question for you in your suitcase how many scarves do you have.
00:20:28.470 --> 00:20:30.600 Kay Newton: One yes.
00:20:31.380 --> 00:20:44.340 Pat Duckworth: I, I am a bit of a staff person, and I have debated with myself but we'd actually i've put this holiday through a travel consultant, thank you very much to go or who booked it all for me and.
00:20:45.600 --> 00:20:56.940 Pat Duckworth: So she booked for us to have hold like a luggage, as well as cabin luggage, but there have been disruptions on the airlines and your advice to any tape capping luggage, I said to my husband.
00:20:57.750 --> 00:21:02.610 Pat Duckworth: that's not a problem I can go away for seven days I went to America for two weeks.
00:21:03.180 --> 00:21:13.320 Pat Duckworth: I stayed in San Diego for like a business retreat and then I went up into the adirondacks for another week for another retreat two very different retreats and places.
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:31.320 Pat Duckworth: I did it all just with having luggage, I said, well, I could go to Greece we carry luggage and actually Alex has done brilliantly he's just got too small backpacks he's like i'm done and i've got a bit more in mind, because I take all the toiletries and stuff and the plugs.
00:21:32.940 --> 00:21:43.890 Pat Duckworth: But yeah i've got a suitcase little going overhead and i've got my African backpack but i'm fighting with me and and that's it but see last week.
00:21:44.550 --> 00:21:58.020 Pat Duckworth: I was telling you about this and you asked me a very personal question you said how many pairs of sneakers are you taking and I said well seven, one for each day and we only need three one that you're wearing one in reserve, one in the wash what are you taking.
00:21:59.400 --> 00:22:06.660 Pat Duckworth: I still got seven Okay, because I don't know where i'm going to hang stuff out to dry I don't want I don't have disgrace myself being naked.
00:22:06.840 --> 00:22:09.150 Kay Newton: We have a lovely story as well if anybody.
00:22:09.150 --> 00:22:24.780 Kay Newton: is listening underwear and drying them from our Indian experience which we were talking about a little bit earlier, you know we've been talking at a conference and then we'd gone off for this holiday and we found ourselves in this this hostile.
00:22:25.140 --> 00:22:27.000 Kay Newton: And we thought it was a hotel.
00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:27.840 Pat Duckworth: spark.
00:22:27.930 --> 00:22:35.130 Kay Newton: A hotel spot okay i'm going to call it a hostile and in the toilet there was a big bowl and we felt great we can do our washing.
00:22:35.790 --> 00:22:45.300 Kay Newton: And so we did, and we hang all our attendees on the outside rail I need to hear two minutes later, a big screen from the the girls next door.
00:22:45.690 --> 00:22:59.580 Kay Newton: who'd had their underwear Nick to buy local monkey baboon or whatever it was anyway, and so we had to whisk it all in quickly and then one day we were going to get it dry, so I don't think you'll have any problems with monkeys in Greece, will you.
00:23:00.120 --> 00:23:09.360 Pat Duckworth: I don't think so, but that was so hilarious because K having you know lived in different countries and she's like oh yes i'm just hanging my stuff outside.
00:23:09.660 --> 00:23:18.750 Pat Duckworth: And we were just about to leave the rooms go for breakfast when we heard all this screaming because various women had opened the doors them rooms welcoming in the day.
00:23:19.110 --> 00:23:31.980 Pat Duckworth: And inside the rooms, they were fruit baskets and the baboons or the aches knew that they would be fruit baskets and they were coming in through the windows and taking the bananas on the.
00:23:34.080 --> 00:23:34.740 Pat Duckworth: screen.
00:23:37.410 --> 00:23:47.580 Kay Newton: And this is something that's really interesting narrative is have got huge memories of stuff that we've done together and every time we talk about it, it makes us laugh.
00:23:48.360 --> 00:24:00.270 Kay Newton: And laughter is a key I think to aging, you know, the more we laugh, the more we are alive and and I think it's something that we forget and.
00:24:00.540 --> 00:24:07.620 Kay Newton: you've got any any excuse go, you know go put a video if you feel a bit sad anything just to make you laugh because there.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:19.350 Pat Duckworth: yeah and the numbers of I mean the things that went wrong during those two weeks that we were away and the things that we have laughed about and I think this is it as.
00:24:19.860 --> 00:24:33.420 Pat Duckworth: I you know i'm a fair bit older than you but you were prepared to join in for like seeing and a woman who doesn't give me any X about anything anymore, and instead of getting upset or you know and some women to get up.
00:24:33.450 --> 00:24:48.930 Pat Duckworth: yeah tell one stormed off home others were saying i'm not staying here, and yet when we stayed together, it was so funny I mean the next hotel we went to we really looking forward to it because there was a swimming pool, and when we looked in it, it was green if.
00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:58.710 Pat Duckworth: It was awful and we sat down on the sun lounges and there will be another type of a up in the tree throwing unripe mango.
00:25:01.500 --> 00:25:06.210 Pat Duckworth: yeah you can get upset you can go and complain to the management, you can make a big old files.
00:25:06.300 --> 00:25:12.150 Kay Newton: it's not gonna change anything, so you might as well just enjoy the adventure for what it was, which was good fun, in the end it wasn't an.
00:25:12.450 --> 00:25:12.870 end.
00:25:14.040 --> 00:25:17.970 Pat Duckworth: So you know we started on this this isn't where I thought the show was going but.
00:25:18.120 --> 00:25:21.480 Kay Newton: It just shows, we need to bring it back to menopause I think a little bit.
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:35.070 Kay Newton: But this is this is part of the experience for men, of course, but, as you know, it's it's something that we will always remember, and it will always bring joy and and I think that's, the key is to find things that will always bring you joy.
00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:48.330 Kay Newton: go through life because I think you know that that is, to me, is one of the biggest ways of making sure you know your days days become valuable because you've got you know the memories.
00:25:49.080 --> 00:25:55.410 Pat Duckworth: I was working with a woman this week going through menopause and she said, a pretty tricky time for a few months.
00:25:55.770 --> 00:26:05.850 Pat Duckworth: And she said Oh, but i'm thinking now I might do this I might do that i'm thinking about my business I said, this is it, this is the bounce back this is the bit, the other side.
00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:17.070 Pat Duckworth: But people don't tell you about where you've kind of you know it's been rough and then you find your way through, and suddenly it's like right let's get going, what do we want to do, and you and I have both done that.
00:26:17.730 --> 00:26:27.570 Kay Newton: yeah you know it's such a it's such a joyous time we're so lucky to be here on the planet, this time, you know my parents my grandparents our mothers and our grandmothers.
00:26:27.990 --> 00:26:36.870 Kay Newton: You know didn't necessarily have the the space and they and the way with all and the finances and everything in order to be able to.
00:26:37.560 --> 00:26:47.610 Kay Newton: Do that to be able to say Okay, I can reinvent myself yeah and the kids have gone they've flown the nest and fit and healthy i've got a lot more to offer to the world.
00:26:47.970 --> 00:26:59.760 Kay Newton: What what am I gonna do yeah yeah and I think you know we're very, very fortunate, and I think you know, the Dalai Lama I love his quote he says, the Western women will change the world.
00:27:00.540 --> 00:27:18.240 Kay Newton: And I keep saying, adding to, that is, you know that women over 50 wait wait, the biggest demographic on the planet, hence the market so yeah tapping into us if we're going to do the changes up to us to do the changes the grandmothers even to do the change.
00:27:18.330 --> 00:27:18.780 Kay Newton: yeah.
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:21.540 Pat Duckworth: Even if you're not physically a grandmother.
00:27:22.740 --> 00:27:24.210 Pat Duckworth: grandmother stage and.
00:27:24.210 --> 00:27:27.150 Pat Duckworth: It is such an important stage.
00:27:27.180 --> 00:27:37.410 Pat Duckworth: And okay i've been so busy yawning the time is going past i'm going to ask you, after the break about what's changed for you in the last year, but we've got two minutes.
00:27:38.670 --> 00:27:50.040 Pat Duckworth: And when you came on before you were talking about body burden and how chemicals affects us what's changed for you in the last year in the thinking around that.
00:27:50.940 --> 00:28:02.160 Kay Newton: So you're still going through the process of eliminating things and doing the step by step, due diligence and the process of saying Okay, so what else can we get rid of.
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:11.970 Kay Newton: What things in our lifestyle, no longer serves as, and I think you know, maybe they did servers when we were in our 20s or 30s or even our 40s or 50s but they don't serve now.
00:28:12.810 --> 00:28:22.680 Kay Newton: And, and so things like we which you talked about recently you're always talking about, but things like coffee and alcohol they no longer serve.
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:35.760 Kay Newton: meets, to a certain extent, have been reduced, unless I know exactly where they're coming from and then all the chemicals and so we've got really, really strict with the chemicals in our home.
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:43.800 Kay Newton: it's not easy, it really isn't but then you find the benefits you just feel a lot better about it.
00:28:44.220 --> 00:28:44.940 Pat Duckworth: yeah I know.
00:28:45.600 --> 00:28:49.230 Pat Duckworth: A lot of different household cleaners that you've gone.
00:28:49.620 --> 00:28:51.120 Pat Duckworth: Really back to back on.
00:28:51.120 --> 00:28:51.570 Pat Duckworth: household.
00:28:51.690 --> 00:28:56.730 Pat Duckworth: cleaners, because there's so many chemicals, even just in the fence the perfumes.
00:28:57.630 --> 00:29:05.460 Kay Newton: That we have, we have to i'm time go tues one is white vinegar and one is bicarbonate of soda and they work magic.
00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:13.920 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely you don't need all that other stuff excellent, we will see you after the break when we will bring you more Whitman Western.
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00:31:17.850 --> 00:31:25.530 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show where my guest today is Kay Newton and we are just having fun and a chat.
00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:31.860 Pat Duckworth: and catching up on what's happened in the last year, a year since I started the show and cables my first guest.
00:31:32.250 --> 00:31:42.210 Pat Duckworth: So Okay, what else has changed, as I know, you're you've done a lot of work around environmental issues as well, both locally and how it's affecting us globally what's changing in that area.
00:31:43.380 --> 00:31:52.020 Kay Newton: And so it's really interesting it's literally just over a month ago, since a year ago, since I first joined expedition.
00:31:52.980 --> 00:32:05.970 Kay Newton: I really wanted to join their voyage around the world, it was a woman's wage to look into plastic, not just in relation to the oceans, but in relation to our effects as our hormones.
00:32:06.810 --> 00:32:17.400 Kay Newton: and also to promote the you know the scientific women in science, I thought this would be a really good thing to do, and then a costco bit hit, and so we ended up doing the voyage virtually.
00:32:17.970 --> 00:32:31.680 Kay Newton: So we ended up standing on screen doing this, make it look as if you were on boats, which is high phone and but I learned a lot from the the girls and one of the things that happened to me was when we were asked to do a scientific experiment in our local.
00:32:32.700 --> 00:32:41.160 Kay Newton: Environment, I have the beach here, so I found myself one Sunday morning on the beach and the lady came up to me, says what are you doing.
00:32:42.330 --> 00:32:50.160 Kay Newton: And i'm sitting i'm following up 100 meter track and finding out what is in in the sand thats related to plastic.
00:32:50.550 --> 00:32:57.390 Kay Newton: So then she started throwing plastic at me and I was going, no, no, no, it has to be some a scientific experiment has to be in this 100 meters.
00:32:58.320 --> 00:33:09.360 Kay Newton: We got talking we've become really good friends we've just been working together on the mainland and we now have a group of seven women picking up plastic.
00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:20.790 Kay Newton: And some local volunteers and helping us keep the beaches clean it's not our great worry that the beaches are kept clean it's lovely to have a clean beach.
00:33:21.420 --> 00:33:30.330 Kay Newton: Our concern is how do we stop people put in plastic on the beach in the first place yeah, and so what we've decided to do is we've created.
00:33:31.080 --> 00:33:40.110 Kay Newton: A really nice art with the plastic and we've been showing this in the local fairs and it's starting to get traction and starting to get interest.
00:33:40.530 --> 00:33:50.520 Kay Newton: we've got a couple of schools, who want as in September to go in and show the kids the plastic and we've got a couple of cultural departments of local town halls who want us to come and.
00:33:51.030 --> 00:33:57.870 Kay Newton: Do talks as well, so the message is getting out there and that's the key for me is again it's the slow slow steps.
00:33:58.350 --> 00:34:05.460 Kay Newton: You have to take and it's just helping people with knowledge, so that you can you know literally do what we've done, which is.
00:34:05.940 --> 00:34:18.480 Kay Newton: try and reduce as much as you possibly can you want this very, very difficult to reduce it completely but attempt to get rid of plastic in your life which saves it going into the oceans, in the first place and it's like.
00:34:18.510 --> 00:34:19.710 Pat Duckworth: Raising awareness.
00:34:19.770 --> 00:34:29.700 Pat Duckworth: Which is something that I talked about a lot with menopause you know if you can raise awareness of issues, then people sleepwalking they're.
00:34:30.390 --> 00:34:41.850 Pat Duckworth: Like oh I didn't realize that happen, where is what you're doing and through the really lovely artwork that you're doing is raising the awareness so people can't say I didn't realize.
00:34:42.690 --> 00:34:54.540 Pat Duckworth: You know if people want to carry on doing it because of whatever then that's that's on them, but you're showing kind of locally and on your island, but this is what's happening.
00:34:54.900 --> 00:34:57.060 Kay Newton: And it's the drip by drip as.
00:34:58.470 --> 00:35:06.660 Kay Newton: We used to say in marketing, you know you've got to put your message in front of somebody seven times before they are be really interested.
00:35:07.170 --> 00:35:12.870 Kay Newton: In today's world with the overwhelm we were talking about I think it's probably up to about 13 1415 times.
00:35:13.560 --> 00:35:24.450 Kay Newton: So now, just to get your message through you've got to be prepared to keep at it and we've been counting the beach collections for nine months now.
00:35:25.380 --> 00:35:42.660 Kay Newton: we're still going to carry on doing with it, but then we'll have something to send to the town hall to say Look, we still have a problem with cigarette butts we still have a problem with this, can we do something in order to to help the environment and but without the proof.
00:35:43.800 --> 00:35:53.700 Kay Newton: You know and we've collected them all we've got plastic bottles for little cigarette butts which are disgusting but and we've counted everyone so we'll be able to tell them time and time.
00:35:54.780 --> 00:35:57.600 Kay Newton: This is the numbers and the speaking really stop that.
00:35:58.650 --> 00:35:58.860 Kay Newton: Were.
00:35:59.580 --> 00:36:02.520 Pat Duckworth: really important What would you like to ask me okay.
00:36:03.270 --> 00:36:08.460 Kay Newton: Well yeah and you've been doing this program for a whole year, and then we talked a little bit about the fact that you know.
00:36:09.630 --> 00:36:16.290 Kay Newton: menopause is now becoming foremost in people's minds because it's getting out there in them.
00:36:17.130 --> 00:36:30.990 Kay Newton: But you know what, what do you fight, you know what do you see the focus in the future, you know how's it going to go, you know you've been in this business for so long now now is it kind of fade away, is it going to be forgotten about or.
00:36:31.680 --> 00:36:42.960 Pat Duckworth: I think what i'm seeing K is a new generation of women coming through who have been used to using technology all their lives and they've used.
00:36:43.500 --> 00:36:52.200 Pat Duckworth: At some tech to track periods to help with their fertility in their pregnancies they've been in whatsapp groups and.
00:36:52.650 --> 00:37:03.450 Pat Duckworth: So those women are turning around and saying okay if i'm heading towards menopause what is there for me now yeah so i'm seeing more technology which could be really helpful.
00:37:04.680 --> 00:37:24.930 Pat Duckworth: in helping women have the conversation i'm finding that younger women used to talking about stuff and I think they're going to be more open to talking about it, what I don't want to see is the conversation just kind of focusing around one area, I want to keep it open.
00:37:25.980 --> 00:37:35.070 Pat Duckworth: I am open to whatever women want to do around their men or pause I kind of challenge this week about my attitudes around hormone therapy and I was like oh hang on.
00:37:35.790 --> 00:37:46.050 Pat Duckworth: know if you want to take hormone therapy, I have no problem with it, I don't want you to feel like you must take it, but there's something wrong with you, if you don't take it.
00:37:47.160 --> 00:37:58.500 Pat Duckworth: Because I think there's a certain fear has developed around it like oh I perhaps I should be on this now perhaps i'm going to get it, or if i'm not on it, I never wanted that in the conversation.
00:37:58.860 --> 00:38:11.730 Pat Duckworth: I wanted to go okay So what is it what's available what options are there, how can I have that conversation with my medical provider, so that I can get the things that I want not.
00:38:12.240 --> 00:38:20.640 Pat Duckworth: Oh, I really must have this and other people will think i'm bonkers if I don't have it, and you know we can like oh now there's shortages of it.
00:38:21.510 --> 00:38:31.200 Pat Duckworth: there's not actually shortages shortages of some of the ingredients for it it's not the same thing and the British Medical society has been issuing guidance on it.
00:38:31.470 --> 00:38:42.000 Pat Duckworth: To say if you can't get this particular product there's another product that's very similar so don't worry if you're not getting the one with your brand name on it there's another one that is just as good.
00:38:42.300 --> 00:38:50.430 Pat Duckworth: And they're issuing advice to prescribe us on all of that, and I don't want women thinking that it's a magic bullet.
00:38:50.820 --> 00:39:03.240 Pat Duckworth: i'm part of a research group that is going on in in America that's going to issue a really good toolkit of guidance and i'm really proud to be part of it as the US, who are doing it and.
00:39:04.530 --> 00:39:20.520 Pat Duckworth: You know, one of the advisors on that the other day we got to the part that was about maintaining a healthy weight and she said, please say that excess way is a Multifactorial issue and I thought you might have to rework that people won't go.
00:39:21.150 --> 00:39:29.310 Pat Duckworth: What she said what I mean is that, if you're overweight and you take hrt it's not going to make you say.
00:39:30.180 --> 00:39:41.280 Pat Duckworth: it's going to support your hormones, but you need to be taking responsibility for what you're eating what you're drinking how you're exercising your stress levels, all the things.
00:39:41.730 --> 00:39:49.020 Pat Duckworth: That mean that women at this stage of LIFE put on weight, you know it is there's lots of factors that are involved in it.
00:39:49.470 --> 00:39:55.290 Pat Duckworth: And it's about dressing, all of them, including the thing that you talk about body burden with the chemicals so we're having.
00:39:55.860 --> 00:40:09.180 Pat Duckworth: So again, that conversation around even effects, you know what you've decided to do don't think that's the end of it think okay What else do I need to do to have a healthy body and mind at the other side of this.
00:40:09.810 --> 00:40:16.170 Pat Duckworth: This is your opportunity to look at what you're eating look at what you're drinking looking at how you're living your life.
00:40:16.590 --> 00:40:26.010 Pat Duckworth: and actually setting yourself up for a healthy time in the future so that's where i'd like the conversation to go, rather than.
00:40:26.790 --> 00:40:40.710 Pat Duckworth: shaming or blaming women, either for taking it or not, taking it, it can go either way like ooh you know, like it's a lifestyle choice and for some women it's really you know their health is really impacted and they need some help.
00:40:41.580 --> 00:40:51.900 Pat Duckworth: So it's not like Oh, I just want to take it, because my book, my skin to be better, you know there's a lot of stuff going on here and I just want women to really understand the options.
00:40:51.930 --> 00:40:53.190 Pat Duckworth: So I hope that's.
00:40:53.190 --> 00:40:54.180 Pat Duckworth: Where the conversation.
00:40:54.270 --> 00:41:09.780 Kay Newton: I love that and I think that is just so key we're so used to being able to pick up a packet of something, and you know we've been told, I think, with the way no Western modern medicine goes take this and you'll be fine.
00:41:11.160 --> 00:41:19.680 Kay Newton: What we forget that our bodies change that's what it's called it's called the change, you know and what suited you before.
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:29.610 Kay Newton: You know, when you were before menopause it's not going to be the same as when and you've just got to accept that you know your lifestyle has to be different.
00:41:30.270 --> 00:41:45.840 Kay Newton: yeah and and it really does take time and effort to find what works for you, because what works for you, that may not necessarily work for someone else, so if your best friend saying to you should do this your best friend is you.
00:41:46.110 --> 00:41:47.820 Kay Newton: don't have to the other person.
00:41:48.270 --> 00:41:54.240 Kay Newton: listen to what your body is telling you and sometimes it takes you a long time it's taken me a long time to work out what.
00:41:54.660 --> 00:42:00.690 Kay Newton: suits me because it's like an onion peeling you've got to peel those layers off to find.
00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:15.180 Kay Newton: That you know this exercise routine sounds really good but actually it's too much to stress and your body's then stressed, yes, this foods Okay, for you, but maybe after lunch, not before, because she your body needs to rest.
00:42:15.510 --> 00:42:20.850 Kay Newton: And it goes on and on and you've got to be prepared to I think Jen on it, you know.
00:42:20.910 --> 00:42:28.620 Kay Newton: Not just yet now and then take those tiny steps that try and change it all at once, because you won't know what's working what's it changed everything.
00:42:28.830 --> 00:42:41.400 Pat Duckworth: Yes, journaling is key yeah what are you eating, what are you drinking what symptoms are you experiencing and really keeping a note on it that also helps you if you have to go to a medical.
00:42:41.400 --> 00:42:48.240 Pat Duckworth: practitioner because you're going along and say this is what i've been noticing rather than I just don't feel good.
00:42:48.660 --> 00:42:57.240 Pat Duckworth: you're going along and saying Well, this is what i'm finding and i've made all these changes isn't working and I need a bit more help and support.
00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:13.410 Pat Duckworth: And I think if you can go with something like that you know it really is helpful and you know to be willing to keep making changes because your body before you went through puberty is completely different your body post puberty.
00:43:13.800 --> 00:43:17.850 Kay Newton: And then it can't hide kids the same, and it goes on and on and on yeah.
00:43:18.270 --> 00:43:28.470 Pat Duckworth: So it's okay it's Okay, for your body to change it's all right, and we do put on a little bit of weight around the waist, and that is your body trying to store hormones.
00:43:28.830 --> 00:43:44.250 Pat Duckworth: And sometimes it's because you're letting yourself live a very stressed life and you're making choices they're stressing your body and it tries to protect you by putting on weight around your waist and then you criticize it because it's doing it it's it's trying to.
00:43:46.140 --> 00:43:58.170 Pat Duckworth: look in the mirror and go Thank you body, you know I just assisting a woman found this morning we're going to break at the moment assistance woman sound this morning and Sunday saying, oh no I could never look at myself in a full length mirror.
00:43:59.730 --> 00:44:00.660 Oh yeah.
00:44:02.130 --> 00:44:06.390 Pat Duckworth: You know this body is working hard it's done the miles.
00:44:06.690 --> 00:44:09.120 Kay Newton: This all love it.
00:44:09.150 --> 00:44:14.400 Pat Duckworth: Respecting give it some love excellent, we will see you after the break.
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00:46:13.020 --> 00:46:24.090 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause if you're just listening to the show and you're not seeing us you're missing a lot of fun that's going on today, we are de mar patty.
00:46:24.570 --> 00:46:37.620 Pat Duckworth: Because i'm off on holiday and K is getting ready to go on holiday to so okay i've had lots of people come in into the studio in my virtual studio and we've talked about lots of subjects.
00:46:38.130 --> 00:46:49.260 Pat Duckworth: we've talked about hormone therapy with the with Dr Rachel katie in America talk about styling we've talked about sex we've talked about exercise.
00:46:49.710 --> 00:47:06.480 Pat Duckworth: Cancer domestic abuse energy management Chi gong yoga there's not a lot we haven't talked about, and I think we keep coming back to attitude and being happy and I hope we've demonstrated some of that being.
00:47:08.850 --> 00:47:19.590 Pat Duckworth: bought for you, supports you feeling happy at this stage of life, what message would you give to women at midlife so they can have that mindset of this is all okay.
00:47:20.790 --> 00:47:36.240 Kay Newton: and difficult question isn't I think because it's multifaceted again and it's not fair to say just one thing and but i'm fortunate that i've got mountains and i've got the sea and so met nature, for me, is a key time.
00:47:37.350 --> 00:47:49.980 Kay Newton: Moving forward years I can't do without that space and I guess another perfect word space giving yourself space to be comfortable in your own body.
00:47:50.610 --> 00:48:04.170 Kay Newton: To gain divya tatia your body time as well you know it's taken me a long time to learn about keeping my water levels that breathing correctly laughing constantly eating well.
00:48:04.290 --> 00:48:05.550 Kay Newton: And you've been well.
00:48:05.610 --> 00:48:08.610 Pat Duckworth: goes on you've been doing yoga to strengthen your body's.
00:48:08.670 --> 00:48:17.220 Kay Newton: been doing it's called both spring it's it's a type of yoga and it's to work on the fascia a lot of people don't know about the fascia.
00:48:17.640 --> 00:48:24.840 Kay Newton: You know, we talked about muscles, we talk about bones, and you know ligaments and tendons but we don't think about the fascia.
00:48:25.440 --> 00:48:37.380 Kay Newton: And the fascia if you think about a chicken breasts if you pull that very fine third layer off before you cook it that is fascia it surrounds all our muscles internal organs and it holds us together.
00:48:38.070 --> 00:48:48.120 Kay Newton: And, but it had to be removed for dissection purposes so it's a it's taken all this time for people to go hang on a minute, maybe this stuff is really important.
00:48:49.380 --> 00:48:53.970 Kay Newton: And it is extremely important, so i've been working with a lady called Saskia Griffiths.
00:48:54.840 --> 00:49:03.840 Kay Newton: she's actually based in me so it says, the next time and over from me, but we work online, which is fabulous we've got or she's got members all over the world.
00:49:04.590 --> 00:49:13.140 Kay Newton: You know, we have our sessions from Europe, mainly in the morning at the minute because it's hot, but then the Canadians and the Americans dying in.
00:49:13.980 --> 00:49:23.280 Kay Newton: When it's their their time and then send messages to the whatsapp group and it's a 30 minute Class three times a week and it just has made a complete difference to me.
00:49:24.540 --> 00:49:39.480 Kay Newton: I was really suffering with bad back pain couldn't work out what to do, went to see an osteopath who said those magical words to me 10 months ago, because I was there last week, and she said it's not bones it's not.
00:49:40.530 --> 00:49:59.370 Kay Newton: Your muscles it's fashion yeah and and so luckily I put a shout out in my group and I local lady said, do you remember Saskia and got in touch with Saskia did a class with her and the next minute I meant to retreat because it just happened to fall, the synchronicities are at all.
00:50:00.750 --> 00:50:04.770 Kay Newton: And we recently I took my husband to the last one at Eastern had a great time.
00:50:05.850 --> 00:50:09.480 Kay Newton: But it's simple and that's what I love simplicity is my key.
00:50:09.720 --> 00:50:22.710 Pat Duckworth: See you manifested that you manifested what you needed and so be again blank slate be open to something that you wouldn't have thought about and you said a really important thing there about space.
00:50:23.220 --> 00:50:39.600 Pat Duckworth: because for me it's partly about making our space for our own self care, but also in our relationships, when people say to me, have you been married so long because i've been married for how long i've been married 44 years.
00:50:41.340 --> 00:50:42.300 Pat Duckworth: I was a child bride.
00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:52.350 Pat Duckworth: It if I say it's about creating space for each other, because we're growing and developing all of the time, and so.
00:50:53.040 --> 00:51:08.370 Pat Duckworth: In whatever relationship you're in you need space to keep growing and developing and to allow the other person to grow and develop as well, and at this stage of LIFE you're going through menopause and your partner is going through an eight.
00:51:09.510 --> 00:51:09.870 Kay Newton: hours.
00:51:10.230 --> 00:51:21.540 Pat Duckworth: I mean if you've got a female partner they're going through the same stuff if you've got a male partner they're trying to deal with their own body changing and we need space.
00:51:22.560 --> 00:51:44.280 Pat Duckworth: To keep growing and developing so my top tip for everything is space, the space for self care the space in your relationships and the space to keep reading and learning or listening and learning so that you can make informed decisions and know what your options are.
00:51:45.810 --> 00:51:48.540 Kay Newton: I call it being sense of the selfish.
00:51:48.600 --> 00:51:49.590 Pat Duckworth: Yes, I love.
00:51:50.070 --> 00:51:57.930 Kay Newton: You know, and I K sentence selfish is one of those words that we see the negative word but it's not actually because when we fill our cups at first.
00:51:58.440 --> 00:52:07.200 Kay Newton: You know we've got stuff to give to other people, whereas my my running on empty my running and passing out the wrong energy So yes, we come first.
00:52:07.650 --> 00:52:15.240 Pat Duckworth: Self care at this stage is absolutely essential and that sensibly selfish which K, has written a book that.
00:52:16.230 --> 00:52:31.020 Pat Duckworth: is so important because there's a body, saying that if you look after yourself, nobody else has to do it yeah that's why it's so important, if you neglect yourself somebody else's gotta pick the pieces up.
00:52:32.100 --> 00:52:38.040 Pat Duckworth: Whereas if you go no i'm taking the time i'm going to be looking after my body and everything else.
00:52:38.850 --> 00:52:54.960 Pat Duckworth: Then, nobody else has got to pick that up so that's why it's so incredibly important, so if there was a top tip of top tips it's about the space for self care at this stage of life is so incredibly important okay any last messages.
00:52:56.100 --> 00:52:59.280 Kay Newton: or hate last messages I think the thing is to reach out.
00:52:59.820 --> 00:53:08.700 Kay Newton: You know, so I you know we talked about my my word for the year is cody one Pole and I let anybody look it up because it's a very interesting word.
00:53:09.750 --> 00:53:16.680 Kay Newton: But you know we are tracking into the unknown, we are tracking into the next stage of our lives and it's going to be different for everybody.
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:24.870 Kay Newton: doesn't mean to say, as you know, track is arduous, but it doesn't mean to say it can't be fun and it doesn't mean to say you have to do it alone.
00:53:25.500 --> 00:53:37.260 Kay Newton: yeah you know reach out to someone and there's pants here i'm here as well, but you know pat's here she's got the knowledge reach out, and you know just just got the T shirts going to save you.
00:53:37.770 --> 00:53:47.760 Kay Newton: having to go through so much crap because she can you know she really dissect it and suit the state, you know pick stuff that suits you I think that's really, really is key.
00:53:48.450 --> 00:53:56.130 Pat Duckworth: Thank you and it's if I go back to space, again I think what we both offer is non judgmental space.
00:53:56.430 --> 00:54:02.430 Pat Duckworth: yeah So if you come and say this is what i'm going through and i've tried this and i'm doing that okay.
00:54:02.940 --> 00:54:11.130 Pat Duckworth: that's what you've been doing, and now, how do we take the next step because, even if you are matric is, step by step by step.
00:54:12.060 --> 00:54:25.890 Pat Duckworth: My power animal which K knows and it's really funny is the tortoise when I found out, I was actually quite insulted and then I realized the tortoise just go, step by step, and it goes over really difficult terrain.
00:54:26.340 --> 00:54:37.410 Pat Duckworth: And it gets there that's the point and it carries it safe place with it so actually now I have embraced my inner tortoise whereas carry your say what your power animal is.
00:54:38.100 --> 00:54:40.560 Kay Newton: I think I think it's still the coyote.
00:54:40.860 --> 00:54:42.030 Pat Duckworth: Which is a trickster.
00:54:42.600 --> 00:54:46.590 Kay Newton: Which is the trickster and makes me laugh, which is key, I think.
00:54:47.340 --> 00:54:57.960 Pat Duckworth: Thank you so much for coming back for this show K is always a joy to talk to you have a fabulous time in America, unfortunately, you head back, just as I head over there, so we won't cross over.
00:54:58.380 --> 00:55:06.300 Pat Duckworth: Thank you to all of my guests in the past 12 months you all been brilliant and you've given so much for your time and your energy.
00:55:06.660 --> 00:55:13.890 Pat Duckworth: And if you've missed any of those shows go to talk radio dot nyc forward slash women rock and find some of those recordings.
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:20.070 Pat Duckworth: And also, if you need help, go to pat duckworth.com That is my website.
00:55:20.670 --> 00:55:38.970 Pat Duckworth: Where I talked about menopause and my book hot women call solutions is all about all of the options for dealing with your minerals non judgmental space you've been trying all of it, and there are bonus gifts like hypnotic recordings and journals just to help you on your way.
00:55:39.990 --> 00:55:46.650 Pat Duckworth: Thank you so much to my producer who has learned a lot about metaphors that he never wanted to know.
00:55:46.950 --> 00:55:56.280 Pat Duckworth: And just watch me dancing and seeing to all sorts of things and blessing, he has hung in there with a thank you to send the owner of talk radio dot nyc.
00:55:56.730 --> 00:56:07.470 Pat Duckworth: and stay tuned because the next program is dismantle racism, with the Reverend Dr tlc i'm currently doing an online course with Reverend Dr tlc.
00:56:08.190 --> 00:56:17.520 Pat Duckworth: which has helped with dismantling racism and it's absolutely fabulous you'll be doing it again in the autumn and yeah do that she's today she's talking to say the frankel.
00:56:18.660 --> 00:56:29.880 Pat Duckworth: about dismantling racism, so thank you to everybody to my producer to all of my lovely girl to everybody who's watched and shared and.
00:56:30.060 --> 00:56:39.270 Kay Newton: We have to say thank you to you pat as well, and thank you for all your time and your effort and your energy and sharing your knowledge it's been absolutely amazing Thank you.
00:56:39.930 --> 00:56:47.640 Pat Duckworth: Thank you co but means a lot and yeah let's carry on being sensibly selfish see you again take care, have a good holiday.