Extra Innings

Monday, September 13, 2021
Facebook Live Video from 2021/09/13 - From Business Banking & Teaching, Meet Dan The Therapist

Facebook Live Video from 2021/09/13 - From Business Banking & Teaching, Meet Dan The Therapist


2021/09/13 - From Business Banking & Teaching, Meet Dan The Therapist

[NEW EPISODE] From Business Banking & Teaching, Meet Dan The Therapist

If you need help in life, Dan Harris can help. He's a licensed mental health therapist drug & alcohol counselor, a DBT Therapist, designed to get your life in order.

Tune in for this important conversation at or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.

Show Notes

Segment 1

To open tonight’s show, Albert introduces Dan Harris, a licensed therapist, and a long time friend. Albert talks about their friendship. He asks Dan about his journey before becoming a therapist. Dan talks about having mental disorders from a young age and having books about mental health as well. When finishing college, Dan was hospitalized due to going through an episode. No one around him knew about what was really going on. Over time, he learned from one of his psychiatrists that he might have bipolar disorder. After doing a couple of jobs and becoming a teacher, he went back to graduate school. Harris mentions that he has always wanted to become a therapist even though he was struggling himself. Today, Harris has been a therapist for 7 years. One of his concentrations that he works with is DBT therapy, a therapeutic model that addresses those who are obsessed with specific parts of their life. It pushes for more positive behavior changes.

Segment 2

Switching gears to Alberts film Extra Innings, Albert talks about the screenings of the film precovid and the Q & A’s after the screenings were shown. He talks about his own struggles and his inspiration for becoming a therapist. He then asks Dan about his thoughts on fitting into the norms in a family. Dan says that being with our family is a way for us to understand what is normal in life. Our experiences with our families affect what we understand is normal. He relates this idea to the characters of the film who were Albert’s family members in real life. Talking about what they do for a living, Albert mentions how one difficult part about their job is that they can’t always help people change or make changes that will help them do better in their life. Dan says that choosing your purpose in life is such a helpful way to get out of a situation where one is “stuck” or depressed. But as Albert reminds us, it is a very difficult process that is not easy to go through.

Segment 3

Coming back from the break, Albert asks Dan about his thoughts on depression and its causes and ways of helping it. Dan differentiates between depression that comes from the loss of something or someone and depression where there is a chemical imbalance within us. Albert talks about a man who named a therapy called logotherapy which was finding the meaning in your life. Dan believes that finding your purpose or meaning in your life is difficult. He believes that we construct all of this by understanding that there is no absolute truth. What Dan says is that we are the architecture to our own lives. Albert talks about how he also believes that not everyone needs to go to therapy but also that going to a therapist is similar to going to a different kind of doctor or therapy. Sometimes you have to visit different kinds of people to find someone that understands you or that you can connect with.

Segment 4

Returning from the final break, Albert asks Dan about how he knows or his clients know when they are ready to move on such as when someone knows when they are ready to stop taking medications. He briefly talks about a patient of his who suffered from thoughts of hurting others and how much they have improved over time. Dan mentioned how he gives his patients “homework” which are things like exercises to be in the present moment. One example Dan gives is something as simple as eating a sandwich. Someone could be eating while being angry or thinking about something else and in the end if someone asks how their food was, one might not know what to say because they weren’t fully present. Albert and Dan also talk about meditating which can help someone be in the present and calm their minds. Dan says that practicing mindfulness is a great amount of freedom. Our bodies can be with us but our minds can be all over the place as Dan puts it. To close the show, Albert thanks Dan for being his guest for tonight. You can learn more about Dan and his work by visiting


00:03:22.860 --> 00:03:29.130 Albert Dabah: Okay, all right let's start hi my name is Albert tab i'm the host of extra innings covering all the bases.

00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:40.800 Albert Dabah: On extra innings we talked about many subjects, including mental health mental wellness we talked about different obstacles people have in their lives.

00:03:41.970 --> 00:03:50.640 Albert Dabah: Such as anxiety disorder depression bipolar disease we touch on subjects like suicide subjects that many people do not like to talk about.

00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:57.750 Albert Dabah: And over these past few months since we've been doing the show since January we've had many different kinds of guests, including.

00:03:58.620 --> 00:04:10.620 Albert Dabah: therapist which we have on tonight and i'll introduce him in a minute we've had on artists people from a movie that I created called extra innings, which is where the title came from.

00:04:14.010 --> 00:04:29.160 Albert Dabah: Tonight we have one Mr Dan Harris who is a licensed therapist and I he's an old friend of mine and I thought of having him on tonight is a special guest, since he has.

00:04:29.700 --> 00:04:38.940 Albert Dabah: Not only been a therapist but he had other occupations, before that, which sometimes that works out really well for people because get a certain life experience.

00:04:39.330 --> 00:04:48.690 Albert Dabah: And then they decide to go in a different direction, which happens to many people, including myself, I started off as a therapist.

00:04:49.500 --> 00:04:59.910 Albert Dabah: went back into doing therapy not too long ago but created a film production company called Simba productions and simpler productions we filmed all kinds of videos.

00:05:00.840 --> 00:05:16.800 Albert Dabah: still have the company over 42 years and through Simba productions created the movie extra innings so i'm very proud of the movie you can catch it on Simba movie Simba movie COM it's on many.

00:05:19.080 --> 00:05:30.570 Albert Dabah: platforms, including Amazon, and recently got on peacock and other ones so let's get to Dan Harris Stan how are you tonight, how are you doing well.

00:05:30.990 --> 00:05:32.190 Danny Harris: i'm all good Albert.

00:05:32.370 --> 00:05:32.760 Albert Dabah: How are you.

00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:34.980 Danny Harris: Good good to see you again.

00:05:35.250 --> 00:05:43.800 Albert Dabah: yeah it's been a long time been a long time we go back from the days of growing up and whatnot growing up, but we were living in morristown.

00:05:45.150 --> 00:05:48.450 Albert Dabah: Not far from each other and our families used to get together.

00:05:49.230 --> 00:05:52.500 Danny Harris: No definitely a developmental phase of our lives.

00:05:52.530 --> 00:06:00.210 Albert Dabah: yeah yes, it was and we're still growing, and you know, every day, is another day so.

00:06:03.450 --> 00:06:04.020 Albert Dabah: So.

00:06:06.330 --> 00:06:14.070 Albert Dabah: Through the years that i've known Dan i've known him as a friend and then I knew him as.

00:06:15.510 --> 00:06:25.470 Albert Dabah: A after I moved from Mars town and he had a divorce in his life, and so did I so we parted ways and.

00:06:26.970 --> 00:06:30.240 Albert Dabah: We are kids went to the same school and.

00:06:33.270 --> 00:06:42.690 Albert Dabah: We developed a friendship again and I remember Dan came to see me in a play, and he also came to see the film extra innings.

00:06:45.840 --> 00:06:57.780 Albert Dabah: So let me ask you Dan what what how did you get from where you were before as the therapist what were you doing before then, I know you did many things so wherever you want to start a curious people would be curious about that.

00:06:58.380 --> 00:07:03.600 Danny Harris: Well, I think the origins of becoming a therapist go back to.

00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:24.060 Danny Harris: Being having mental disorders in my life, since I was growing up as a child, I always had my my bookshelf was always feel with popular psychology books like like Morris it looked like morrison your film, would he was trying to read his way.

00:07:25.170 --> 00:07:32.940 Danny Harris: into some kind of the health of course we can't read our way into heaven, but I was always making that attempt went to college.

00:07:34.110 --> 00:07:37.470 Danny Harris: I actually am a consumer, I don't know if you know that.

00:07:38.580 --> 00:07:51.660 Danny Harris: I I had a an episode when I, as I was finishing college, I was hospitalized in 1976 for a month and I was hospitalized again.

00:07:52.680 --> 00:08:09.060 Danny Harris: And they can 77 nobody knew what was wrong with me in those days that will in me when a person enters a hospital for mental illness it's very difficult to access them as no one could access me no one knew what I was going through.

00:08:10.710 --> 00:08:14.010 Danny Harris: But this lasted for about two years.

00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:16.440 Albert Dabah: I didn't know that.

00:08:17.220 --> 00:08:32.790 Danny Harris: yeah yeah and from for the next 12 years nothing, nobody knew what was going on with my life, and I was taking antidepressants anxiety meds anti-psychotics left and right.

00:08:34.620 --> 00:08:35.160 Danny Harris: To us.

00:08:35.580 --> 00:08:37.530 Albert Dabah: You were seeing different therapist I.

00:08:37.890 --> 00:08:39.480 Danny Harris: was different psychiatrists.

00:08:39.540 --> 00:08:39.720 Like.

00:08:40.770 --> 00:08:47.820 Danny Harris: There really was a medical issue you know but it's about chemical disorder.

00:08:49.170 --> 00:08:56.430 Danny Harris: bipolar disorder is, and so I met a guy back in 19 psychiatrists becky main team.

00:08:57.870 --> 00:09:09.120 Danny Harris: I guess 88 his work cowboy hat cowboy boots and he actually talked to me for an hour for every session and we figured out that hey.

00:09:10.500 --> 00:09:27.870 Danny Harris: This sounds like bipolar why don't you take the most effective drug known to medicine today, known as lithium in it helps you know 80% of the people have bipolar we take lithium is managed to let's try that.

00:09:29.070 --> 00:09:34.320 Danny Harris: And i've been taking lithium ever since I indulged in many different.

00:09:35.550 --> 00:09:38.460 Danny Harris: occupations trying to find find my.

00:09:39.660 --> 00:09:42.690 Danny Harris: Suitable career, for me, clear that I would like.

00:09:45.060 --> 00:10:02.160 Danny Harris: going from industrial supplies into mortgage banking for 10 years I became a teacher and one thing led to another, I took opportunities and I went back to graduate school, which is for mental health for mental health counseling.

00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:15.360 Danny Harris: that's for me that's going back to my original interest, which was to how do I get free from this crazy life that I had been living some so.

00:10:16.170 --> 00:10:18.660 Albert Dabah: But another word, so you went through your own.

00:10:20.160 --> 00:10:26.280 Albert Dabah: stuff your own bipolar disease, I guess, we can call it.

00:10:27.870 --> 00:10:41.460 Albert Dabah: and disorder bipolar disorder and you went into different fields of business and then you became a teacher and then what what made you decide to go into being a therapist.

00:10:41.490 --> 00:10:44.130 Danny Harris: Because I have always wanted to be a therapist.

00:10:44.160 --> 00:10:44.820 Danny Harris: It wasn't.

00:10:45.270 --> 00:10:51.540 Danny Harris: yeah college, I was on the line was in college, I was on the hotlines rutgers.

00:10:52.890 --> 00:11:08.490 Danny Harris: forget what they were called there's also rutgers entities to college, I worked on the hotlines that help people, students and just naturally I always trying to helping people sort things out in their lives, even though i'm struggling myself.

00:11:08.850 --> 00:11:18.390 Albert Dabah: Right right well, I think we all have you know our own personal struggles and because we are a therapist doesn't mean we have everything together, and I think there's a.

00:11:19.020 --> 00:11:27.600 Albert Dabah: misconception that people think well if you go to a therapist that person has it all together and they may be, are doing very well in their lives and.

00:11:28.740 --> 00:11:34.740 Albert Dabah: Then all of a sudden, you know life can change on a dime so you never know what's going to happen in life.

00:11:36.030 --> 00:11:38.430 Albert Dabah: So how long have you been working as a therapist.

00:11:40.080 --> 00:11:41.040 Danny Harris: Seven years now.

00:11:41.220 --> 00:11:41.910 Albert Dabah: Seven years.

00:11:42.120 --> 00:11:42.450 Albert Dabah: Now you.

00:11:43.650 --> 00:11:47.460 Albert Dabah: You do a certain kind of therapy you, you mentioned in your bio.

00:11:48.030 --> 00:11:53.490 Danny Harris: yeah i'm db T is I guess my declared.

00:11:55.020 --> 00:12:10.140 Danny Harris: Therapeutic model that's dialectical behavioral therapy db T dialectical means like opposites I liked the call so dialectical behavioral dialectical behavioral therapy, where we.

00:12:10.920 --> 00:12:26.490 Danny Harris: observed that most people get stuck at the extremes in their lives, so this is the therapeutic model which addresses a pathway to return to a more balanced and manageable way of living.

00:12:27.690 --> 00:12:32.910 Danny Harris: pretty much the middle of the road lot it's a lot of it's based in Buddhism.

00:12:33.780 --> 00:12:36.150 Danny Harris: Really yeah mindfulness.

00:12:38.310 --> 00:12:40.560 Danny Harris: ideas of thousands thousands of years old.

00:12:41.040 --> 00:12:43.710 Albert Dabah: Right so did you study Buddhism as well.

00:12:44.280 --> 00:12:49.140 Danny Harris: And as much as anybody, but not really professionally now.

00:12:49.290 --> 00:12:49.950 Albert Dabah: Right right.

00:12:50.160 --> 00:12:51.810 Danny Harris: Right, I mean read sidharth.

00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:54.360 Danny Harris: Okay.

00:12:56.010 --> 00:12:57.390 Albert Dabah: So did I oh yeah.

00:12:58.020 --> 00:12:59.550 Danny Harris: It was like required reading here.

00:12:59.790 --> 00:13:21.630 Albert Dabah: Okay yeah I liked it a lot um so uh you we We talked yesterday and you had mentioned you sent me a nice email about you watch the movie again and I was curious and we're going to have to take a break in a minute, but something to think about during the break is.

00:13:23.190 --> 00:13:36.810 Albert Dabah: You you said some things in your notes to me today about the movie and i'd love for you to think about what you said and share them with the audience that you just mentioned one of the characters in the movie who played my older brother.

00:13:37.230 --> 00:13:42.420 Albert Dabah: And, and my movies, based on a true story my family and.

00:13:44.040 --> 00:13:48.660 Albert Dabah: Many different people and different reviews, I read about it, you know people say all kinds of things.

00:13:51.780 --> 00:13:59.250 Albert Dabah: And i've done a lot of talk backs i've done before covered, we did about 20 different talk backs and i'd love to share them with you as well.

00:13:59.670 --> 00:14:07.620 Albert Dabah: Of what people said so we can talk about that and talk more about the therapeutic way of working and how you work because.

00:14:08.220 --> 00:14:18.870 Albert Dabah: I think many people who think about going to therapy, you know feel like oh I don't know if I want to go, that means i'm a little crazy or something like that so there's the stigma.

00:14:19.110 --> 00:14:19.620 Albert Dabah: That we have.

00:14:20.340 --> 00:14:20.700 Danny Harris: Oh yeah.

00:14:20.820 --> 00:14:28.920 Albert Dabah: Anyway, so we'll be right back with Dan Harris, right after the these words and thank you, Dan for getting on tonight.

00:14:28.950 --> 00:14:29.730 Albert Dabah: Is a little.

00:14:30.330 --> 00:14:33.300 Danny Harris: Tough at the beginning, thanks thanks for having sure.

00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:58.050 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with Dan Harris and we've been talking a little about how he works as a therapist called db T therapy that correct right right and.

00:16:58.980 --> 00:17:09.960 Albert Dabah: Also, what I wanted to say was Dan had come to one of the first, I think the first screening of the film extra innings in Manhattan and.

00:17:10.890 --> 00:17:29.130 Albert Dabah: As I was saying before the break that we screened the film about 18 times before coven we had another 30 to 35 theaters at book, but then coven came so we ended up going online with it after that, but during those 18 to 20 screenings I got to go to.

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:39.060 Albert Dabah: All but one and I was being flown to these different cities got to go to London to show it is going to be showing in Australia in March and.

00:17:40.380 --> 00:17:47.340 Albert Dabah: You know there's all different opinions we all have about everything you know you can see a movie someone says, I love it someone says it's the worst movie i've ever seen.

00:17:48.510 --> 00:17:56.070 Albert Dabah: which has happened in my case as well, someone said it, he went academy award right underneath it is only us reviews, this is the worst movie ever seen.

00:17:58.110 --> 00:18:11.340 Albert Dabah: So, but even in terms of just talking about the movie after we always had a Q amp a after the film was shown, and I was telling you that I saw my sister yesterday, and I have one surviving sister.

00:18:12.540 --> 00:18:13.110 Albert Dabah: and

00:18:14.340 --> 00:18:27.420 Albert Dabah: I told her how I wanted the screenings we actually went to the cemetery to see my parents Jerry in the Jewish religion, many times you go during the New Year and between the New Year and the young key poor so.

00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:32.970 Albert Dabah: I was at my father's grave and I said, you know, Barbara my sister Barbara I said.

00:18:35.130 --> 00:18:40.140 Albert Dabah: There was one guy who asked after the film he goes, how did you deal with such a mean father.

00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:51.810 Albert Dabah: And without thinking, I mean I didn't have to think one second at all, I said I never thought he was mean at all, not one bit I thought he just didn't.

00:18:52.470 --> 00:18:57.930 Albert Dabah: know me and didn't take the time to get to know me he thought he knew me.

00:18:58.410 --> 00:19:04.200 Albert Dabah: Because he knew what he wanted in his life what he was supposed to wanted in his life and what.

00:19:04.470 --> 00:19:13.080 Albert Dabah: Everyone in our family and in our culture was supposed to want, and particularly in our Community, because I grew up in the Syrian Jewish community, which is very tight knit.

00:19:13.410 --> 00:19:25.830 Albert Dabah: Besides being orthodox they really stay within each other's lives, for the most part, and my dream was to be a baseball player, what a baseball player, are you kidding me what kind of life is that.

00:19:26.520 --> 00:19:37.020 Albert Dabah: interesting though that lately recently I should say to Orthodox Jewish ballplayers were signed to different colleges.

00:19:38.040 --> 00:19:50.760 Albert Dabah: Who said, they will not play on the Sabbath which is incredibly rare and there's supposedly that good that colleges agreed in their dreams are to go on to play professional baseball.

00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:53.580 Albert Dabah: So I bring this up because.

00:19:55.260 --> 00:20:06.270 Albert Dabah: Another guy asked me right after that question how did you feel about raising kids knowing that there was suicide in your family, and I said I couldn't wait to be a father, I wanted to be the best father, that there was.

00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:13.140 Albert Dabah: Because I knew my father was a person who you know, was not from this country came here as an immigrant.

00:20:13.560 --> 00:20:34.470 Albert Dabah: and worked hard and that's what he knew he knew what he knew and he did not go to college, he was very generous with me with with you know sending me to college and I went to graduate school and got an msw degree and practices, a therapist and again having my own.

00:20:36.420 --> 00:20:46.020 Albert Dabah: Problems was dealing with the loss of a brother and sister at that point my sister was still alive and later she took her life, but having dealt with that it gave me.

00:20:46.650 --> 00:20:57.660 Albert Dabah: An amazing insight into mental illness but also for me, I thought at one point I would go crazy, so it led me to go to therapy, when I was after my brother died about three years after my brother died.

00:20:58.290 --> 00:21:08.550 Albert Dabah: So, like yourself Dan you went to therapy early in life, and you had this thought of being a therapist and eventually you became a therapist.

00:21:10.620 --> 00:21:15.030 Albert Dabah: I feel, having that experience of going through different traumas.

00:21:16.650 --> 00:21:21.420 Albert Dabah: And gay getting through them, however, the way you get through them can really help.

00:21:22.140 --> 00:21:31.920 Albert Dabah: and talking about it, I feel, is one of the keys, because there is no matter what anyone says, even though people sometimes many people deny it.

00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:48.150 Albert Dabah: There is a step, there is a stigma of mental illness, there is a stigma of going to therapy and it's maybe maybe quite not as much as it used to be, but I believe there is it's not what some people say out loud and, yes, some people do.

00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:54.840 Albert Dabah: Some people are more outspoken some people are more silent about how they've got through where they are today.

00:21:55.530 --> 00:22:11.610 Albert Dabah: So you won't be some thoughts yesterday about after seeing the film again about I think what I remember, was about in my family my brother and sister as an every family you try to fit in right you try to fit into a certain norm.

00:22:12.630 --> 00:22:14.490 Albert Dabah: and tell tell me about that.

00:22:14.970 --> 00:22:26.730 Danny Harris: Well, families, this year the film is pretty essential to how a family evolves and grows and becomes who they are not.

00:22:27.570 --> 00:22:56.040 Danny Harris: Every family is like a dress rehearsal for life, this is where we learn how to relate to males and females to relate to the world, our roles I learned what is normal, so your family displayed a like a like a crucible for how your family defined normal okay and David.

00:22:57.270 --> 00:23:09.630 Danny Harris: was not going to lay down his life for normal he he definitely chose that wait a minute what's wrong with this picture I hear you I respect you but.

00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:35.940 Danny Harris: I love love in life or for me the same thing I love what I you know what I want to live, and that was like a common thread I think Vivian had to struggle with that your older sister won't your sister who remained religious she chose that norm and she's happy within that norm.

00:23:37.140 --> 00:23:41.190 Danny Harris: More Morris didn't make it, you know.

00:23:42.900 --> 00:23:43.890 Danny Harris: He was stuck.

00:23:44.940 --> 00:23:50.850 Danny Harris: And like I think I mentioned to you, I thought Vivian also was probably.

00:23:52.320 --> 00:24:10.560 Danny Harris: clinically depressed but she medicated herself with drugs, and I think she was just codependence she allowed herself codependent reliance on how others viewed her to justify our life until she couldn't take it anymore, and she opted out.

00:24:11.700 --> 00:24:25.800 Albert Dabah: yeah yeah you know, and you know you just said, the word opted out, and it comes up in discussions with people i've had on the show i've had about at least five different people have send me books that they've written about mental illness.

00:24:26.610 --> 00:24:35.400 Albert Dabah: From the perspective of wherever they were from most of them were I had a guy, who is a police sergeant and then.

00:24:36.660 --> 00:24:44.190 Albert Dabah: Different people who were not even therapist at the time, who became therapists who became healers who lost their loved ones.

00:24:45.030 --> 00:24:59.220 Albert Dabah: and ended up writing beautiful books about their experiences and how learning how to grieve how to deal with the after effects women talked about losing her 17 year old and.

00:25:00.300 --> 00:25:12.390 Albert Dabah: it's very difficult to to to deal with that and I think one of the things that I learned along the way, is not everyone's going to feel the way you feel.

00:25:14.070 --> 00:25:25.380 Albert Dabah: You it's difficult it's difficult to help people at times see what they're doing and i'm sure as a therapist you see that, and you I would think.

00:25:27.030 --> 00:25:34.470 Albert Dabah: do your best to help them take a look at themselves and make changes that would better their lives.

00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:39.000 Albert Dabah: Because if, for instance, you just said.

00:25:40.830 --> 00:25:52.620 Albert Dabah: Maurice was stuck well interesting using that word because about a month after that I was seeing someone who became a friend, we weren't going out much but we became good friends.

00:25:53.040 --> 00:26:03.180 Albert Dabah: And she also came to the opening of the film and and knew me when I was getting ready to when I was raising money for the film and was very into the whole subject.

00:26:04.260 --> 00:26:15.930 Albert Dabah: And I didn't know this at the time, but she you know she had her own problems, and one night after seeing the film she said, I feel like your brother now i'm stuck.

00:26:16.590 --> 00:26:28.200 Albert Dabah: And I sometimes feel like just taking my life and basically she said, I will not do that because of my kids, so I think it's pretty prevalent and we know it is prevalent.

00:26:29.130 --> 00:26:38.850 Danny Harris: yeah I think lossy loss of a job loss of a friend, certainly not as profound as loss of a loved one.

00:26:39.690 --> 00:26:53.730 Danny Harris: was once alive and now dead that's that's an extreme loss, but human beings on, there is a process that we can take that we can we can follow to help to process.

00:26:54.390 --> 00:27:07.440 Danny Harris: The the last until we can eventually accepted accepted, although ultimately never really goes away the the pain, but you can learn to accept it, but that's for the ones who.

00:27:08.070 --> 00:27:23.790 Danny Harris: Those are for those who have lost, but for those people who have clinical depression, there is no handle that you can't lift yourself up you can't say bacup get off the bed, you know wake up you're just.

00:27:24.810 --> 00:27:26.010 Danny Harris: No way to do that.

00:27:28.080 --> 00:27:37.860 Danny Harris: You have to you know if you can like I think you were mentioning Viktor frankl you're talking to another podcast with work.

00:27:38.910 --> 00:27:53.040 Danny Harris: choosing a purpose is really useful if you can arbitrarily choose something meaningful that is one way to get a handle on getting out of that hole.

00:27:53.850 --> 00:28:03.000 Danny Harris: yeah choose it, you have to simply choose it and grab on to it, but other than that it's just almost impossible to break out of it.

00:28:03.660 --> 00:28:08.280 Albert Dabah: Well, you know i'd love to pick up a again on this, so this next commercial but.

00:28:09.390 --> 00:28:20.610 Albert Dabah: yeah when you're clinically depressed and feel like you there's there's nothing you can do about it it's I think it's a lot harder to raise yourself up to that place where you can.

00:28:20.730 --> 00:28:24.510 Danny Harris: raise that there's no there's no reason for being depressed.

00:28:24.690 --> 00:28:31.890 Albert Dabah: Well, well, that that we can talk about that when we come back because everyone can find their own reason why.

00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:42.150 Albert Dabah: Anyway, we'll be right back with Dan Harris and moment after a word from some of the other people who run podcast here, thank you.

00:31:18.450 --> 00:31:25.530 Albert Dabah: So we're here with Dan Harris, a therapist who talking about clinical depression, so are you saying that.

00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:29.010 Albert Dabah: You can't help someone that's clinically depressed.

00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:39.660 Danny Harris: or trying to draw a distinction between the active depression and biochemical depression clinical depression is biochemical.

00:31:40.200 --> 00:31:51.660 Danny Harris: We don't know the causes that even the drugs that we administer there's no psychiatry she knows exactly what will help any individual it's all trial and error.

00:31:52.170 --> 00:32:02.970 Danny Harris: But we get depressed I mean it's a natural response when you lose a friend, when you lose your job when that's reactive that we react with grief and loss that's different.

00:32:04.560 --> 00:32:08.100 Albert Dabah: Right, no, I understand yeah I see where you're coming from.

00:32:09.570 --> 00:32:11.160 Albert Dabah: You mentioned Viktor frankl.

00:32:13.440 --> 00:32:25.410 Albert Dabah: I actually read his book three different times and I think it's a I feel like it's right now, for me, would be a good time to read it again, where I am in my life because i'm doing a lot of different things.

00:32:28.020 --> 00:32:35.910 Albert Dabah: But one of the things like you said, have a purpose of having a purpose in your life, and I think that's one of the key things he says in his book of.

00:32:38.340 --> 00:32:40.920 Albert Dabah: I think that he.

00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:56.160 Albert Dabah: For those who don't know Viktor frankl is a very well known psychologists, who went to the Holocaust, but when he went I believe he went to Auschwitz, and he was already at that point around 32 years old and established.

00:32:57.870 --> 00:33:10.440 Albert Dabah: psychiatrist so he's able to survive, one of the ways he talks about how he's able to survive was that his wife was also there not that he saw her, but that he.

00:33:11.070 --> 00:33:21.420 Albert Dabah: was always believing that she was still alive and they would reunite as it happened, she had passed on early on and her life was over.

00:33:22.290 --> 00:33:33.930 Albert Dabah: So when he got out he pursued the profession that he was always working in and he named a therapy called logo therapy.

00:33:34.470 --> 00:33:50.820 Albert Dabah: which I can't remember exactly what he what what that meant, but my understanding of what he was trying to say was find the meaning in your life really do your best to find meaning in your life.

00:33:52.530 --> 00:33:52.890 Albert Dabah: yeah.

00:33:54.480 --> 00:34:04.920 Danny Harris: yeah people are confronted with that, because it seems arbitrary go find the meaning and people are confronted by its veracity like is invaluable.

00:34:05.490 --> 00:34:11.970 Danny Harris: But what I think is really important is to understand that human beings do not have.

00:34:12.690 --> 00:34:31.470 Danny Harris: The truth, no one does, even if, even if someone's murdered, God forbid in there there's evidence that the smoking gun the blood, the witnesses, you still need 12 people 12 strangers to determine the veracity of all the evidence and then they they created.

00:34:32.490 --> 00:34:45.630 Danny Harris: A judgment and then later 10 years later, they could find out the guy was really innocent when convicted or convicted when he was innocent we don't know we do the best weekend it's called interpretation.

00:34:46.860 --> 00:34:58.020 Danny Harris: This is this goes to like something called neuro linguistic programming that all reality is determined by our interpretation through our bodies every.

00:34:58.500 --> 00:35:10.140 Danny Harris: year we didn't have our five senses, we wouldn't even know that we're alive, but through our bodies, and we have experiences and then we may create interpretations and we assign meaning.

00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:25.260 Danny Harris: To what we have constructed, so we have to, so we have to learn to be responsible for those constructions we are the architects of our lives and commensurate with those constructions are the feelings.

00:35:25.770 --> 00:35:37.890 Danny Harris: dependent on however you construct that interpretation, so not only are we, the architects of our interpretations, but what are the authors of our feelings.

00:35:39.900 --> 00:35:43.290 Danny Harris: Though so by that same model.

00:35:44.910 --> 00:36:05.400 Danny Harris: The assignment of meaning, we can invent that it is no, no less valid that then how we arbitrarily construct an interpretation about what, what are we doing in our lives, how are we related to our families, how are related to our employment its hands upon our construction.

00:36:06.870 --> 00:36:12.360 Danny Harris: We can invent them, we will invent the meaning and we will invent.

00:36:13.620 --> 00:36:14.070 Danny Harris: Everything.

00:36:15.900 --> 00:36:22.560 Albert Dabah: So what you're basically saying is, I believe, is that we create our lives we create.

00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:40.050 Albert Dabah: We by interpreting what we see that there is no, I guess, I would say, maybe absolute truth our overall you know you gave you gave the the example of.

00:36:40.680 --> 00:36:49.140 Albert Dabah: A murderer, and they have the proof and all that and then maybe one day they found that oh he's and you need to 12 people to decide he's guilty and then they find out later.

00:36:49.890 --> 00:36:53.640 Danny Harris: He was not we don't we don't have 12 people, all we have is ourselves.

00:36:53.670 --> 00:36:55.350 Danny Harris: Right so big job.

00:36:55.500 --> 00:36:57.720 Danny Harris: Well, that is to be responsible.

00:36:57.750 --> 00:36:58.440 Danny Harris: For it.

00:36:58.710 --> 00:36:59.370 Albert Dabah: yeah and I think.

00:37:00.060 --> 00:37:09.690 Albert Dabah: I want to say one thing, and I think I don't believe everyone has to go to therapy, but I think that's the value of having when you're feeling this sense of.

00:37:10.200 --> 00:37:21.870 Albert Dabah: let's say in your mind hopelessness, that I just don't know what to do at this point in my life I I feel this, I feel that I need some help I need some outside help.

00:37:22.170 --> 00:37:26.940 Danny Harris: Right, so we go data mining we go mind for for data.

00:37:27.330 --> 00:37:29.790 Danny Harris: mm hmm new information right.

00:37:29.820 --> 00:37:40.140 Danny Harris: Right once the new information is introduced to that hopeless interpretation, it is more possible to alleviate that hopeless interpretation.

00:37:40.260 --> 00:37:51.780 Albert Dabah: right and as many people as long as we're talking about this that I think many people go to a therapist at times because they're in.

00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.690 Albert Dabah: You know, a situation that is very challenging whether it could be.

00:37:59.730 --> 00:38:08.580 Albert Dabah: I know it could be a divorce, it could be a potential divorce someone cheating you find out your wife your husband cheating whatever it is.

00:38:09.060 --> 00:38:14.850 Albert Dabah: And you might go to the therapists and feel like that person doesn't understand me at all like I forget their therapy.

00:38:15.180 --> 00:38:24.000 Albert Dabah: And I think you know I look at it i've told many people, this is like on a doctor, when you go to a doctor and you get an examination, for whatever it is.

00:38:24.330 --> 00:38:36.840 Albert Dabah: And you come back and you think wait a second I don't know if that's right, I remember once I went to five different doctors and for my foot where yeah five.

00:38:37.260 --> 00:38:38.610 Danny Harris: I did the same thing good.

00:38:38.910 --> 00:38:50.550 Albert Dabah: No kidding really five because I had I already had three Bunyan operations, and I only have two feet right but they had to do the second one twice and this.

00:38:53.610 --> 00:38:55.710 Albert Dabah: Where they call them the foot doctor the.

00:38:56.970 --> 00:39:03.900 Albert Dabah: podiatrist he was ready to do it again, so I think I went to two or three podiatrists and to orthopedic surgeons.

00:39:04.350 --> 00:39:13.710 Albert Dabah: The last one was an orthopedic surgeon and they're known to like always cut and you know blah blah blah, and she said to me i'll never forget this, let me see your shoes.

00:39:14.670 --> 00:39:24.840 Albert Dabah: Let me see my shoes sure here here's my shoes you're wearing the wrong shoes buddy you need better orthotics you need wider shoes here's where you should go.

00:39:25.320 --> 00:39:42.540 Albert Dabah: To Tony I believe it was her we told me to go to this chiropractor and she used to need my like the underneath my foot there I couldn't I couldn't run anymore, I was killing me and she dug into my hand I mean into my foot, but like i'm digging into my hand.

00:39:42.870 --> 00:39:45.660 Albert Dabah: And really got all these tissues like smoothed out.

00:39:46.260 --> 00:40:01.290 Albert Dabah: So I never had surgery on my foot again and I tell you, I think, four out of five wanted to do surgery, so what my point is is that sometimes you have to really go out there and dig for that right person that you, you connect with.

00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:03.330 Danny Harris: absolutely must shot.

00:40:04.830 --> 00:40:05.370 Danny Harris: yeah sure.

00:40:05.670 --> 00:40:10.320 Danny Harris: You must make sure that you're connecting with your provider.

00:40:10.740 --> 00:40:18.780 Albert Dabah: yeah I think people are sometimes we we can get lazy about is our therapies thinks it's not for me, you know.

00:40:18.990 --> 00:40:21.840 Danny Harris: One of my Doc, let me tell you one of my doctors, you know.

00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:38.040 Danny Harris: I i'd gone for like seven second opinions, one of these guys looked up because I start to get to understand some technical information about my element, he looks up to me and goes, Mr Harris, you want me to help you or not.

00:40:40.350 --> 00:40:46.110 Danny Harris: I was just asking I was just inquiring because i've been through so many different opinions.

00:40:47.130 --> 00:40:57.450 Danny Harris: Right it's very arrogant and very arrogant attitude and I was you know, I was looking to you know someone to take care of me not to.

00:40:58.920 --> 00:41:00.060 Danny Harris: Do something today.

00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:06.600 Albert Dabah: Right right well you know a lot of help and understanding and.

00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:22.050 Albert Dabah: In I think in making a connection with anyone is you know who you are who that person is whether it's a therapist a friend, a colleague of work.

00:41:23.130 --> 00:41:28.590 Albert Dabah: Someone that understands that that you feel and understand what you're going through.

00:41:29.100 --> 00:41:42.180 Danny Harris: Right so Carl Rogers is very famous therapist and he was amazing several decades ago, he did a lot of groundbreaking work on therapy.

00:41:42.690 --> 00:41:58.080 Danny Harris: His idea and he's affected most every therapist I know was to walk down a pathway together, not in front none behind, but you walk the path together and go down to this path of discovery.

00:42:00.030 --> 00:42:06.990 Danny Harris: And that is an attitude which most people can relate to, and they will embrace.

00:42:08.010 --> 00:42:11.550 Albert Dabah: yeah no I think that's a really beautiful way, to put it, because.

00:42:12.660 --> 00:42:25.530 Albert Dabah: I think the therapists themselves needs to take their time to understand that person in front of them who's dealing with this pain and.

00:42:26.550 --> 00:42:38.670 Albert Dabah: put themselves someone in that position to understand that to what what i'm not sure if you would say what would they do, but what from all their information that they have gathered over the years and people they have met.

00:42:39.300 --> 00:42:45.660 Albert Dabah: To also help like you said walk together in that path to help them relieve themselves of.

00:42:45.960 --> 00:42:47.730 Albert Dabah: Whatever you're going through.

00:42:48.150 --> 00:42:54.300 Danny Harris: it's it's funny you know, most people most of my clients I gotta tell you they want me to fix them.

00:42:54.630 --> 00:42:56.010 Danny Harris: And there's no fixing.

00:42:56.520 --> 00:43:02.190 Danny Harris: Because we're beings we be we're not like you can like a piece of furniture that breaks they're not broken.

00:43:02.790 --> 00:43:17.970 Danny Harris: i'm trying to tell them there's no fixing is a matter of transforming we're going to transform one way of being that you've chosen into a new way of being that you are also going to choose or not.

00:43:19.080 --> 00:43:25.530 Danny Harris: But you're the one who's the boss of you so you're either going to accept, you know your life is not working you're not happy right but.

00:43:26.220 --> 00:43:37.860 Danny Harris: you're going to learn to understand that you are the architect of this and you from the get go where the chooser so I can help you i'm a helper that's it.

00:43:38.640 --> 00:43:47.520 Danny Harris: that's my role helper which was always true for me, even in business, by the way, it's always, how can I help you cannot you cannot be.

00:43:48.600 --> 00:43:52.500 Albert Dabah: it's it's true you know that's a great example, how can I help you.

00:43:52.980 --> 00:44:07.080 Albert Dabah: Anyway, um we're gonna break for more commercial and come back with the great perspective of being a therapist and helping people from Danny Harris.

00:46:10.770 --> 00:46:15.570 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with Dan Harris and.

00:46:16.620 --> 00:46:18.060 Albert Dabah: We were talking about.

00:46:19.500 --> 00:46:28.590 Albert Dabah: His role of being a therapist so Dan let me ask you a question, how do you how do you when does when a working when you're working with someone.

00:46:30.120 --> 00:46:33.150 Albert Dabah: Now you do it all virtual correct, am I right.

00:46:33.540 --> 00:46:34.980 Danny Harris: Yes, yeah that's all virtual.

00:46:35.640 --> 00:46:37.620 Albert Dabah: So how do you know when.

00:46:39.600 --> 00:46:47.130 Albert Dabah: Someone is ready to move on, or how did they know how does that usually happen in your practice.

00:46:47.640 --> 00:47:03.210 Danny Harris: Well, I haven't planned for example he's a has OCD disorders and since i've been working with him, he has decided through to the advice of his psychiatrists to stop taking his meds.

00:47:04.050 --> 00:47:17.910 Danny Harris: So this by the end of this month, he will have it will be a month that he stopped his meds and we'll see how that progresses, I have another I do really well with OCD, by the way, I have another OCD felon.

00:47:20.130 --> 00:47:20.850 Albert Dabah: explain what.

00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:21.750 Albert Dabah: OCD is.

00:47:21.960 --> 00:47:23.250 Danny Harris: Obsessive compulsive.

00:47:24.150 --> 00:47:28.170 Danny Harris: disorder, where you have a set of thoughts thoughts that you cannot.

00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:41.490 Danny Harris: Stop or control or manipulate they just keep coming at you until you are compelled to take an action based on those thoughts once you take the action thought will subside it's like.

00:47:42.360 --> 00:47:52.230 Danny Harris: Like locking the door three times okay that's enough washing your hands like five times well okay now I can move on, so this guy had.

00:47:52.740 --> 00:48:07.080 Danny Harris: Violent thoughts about hurting people and he was his wife is about to have a baby, so he was really motivated he was one of my star patients, because he did all his homework, I give that a lot of homework.

00:48:08.160 --> 00:48:18.240 Danny Harris: Always homework really on really paying attention he was never was late for his appointments and eventually he decided, he was okay.

00:48:19.500 --> 00:48:24.150 Albert Dabah: Can you give me an example, this one example of what kind of homework, you would give someone like that.

00:48:26.580 --> 00:48:29.490 Danny Harris: i'm literally section sizes my work.

00:48:30.630 --> 00:48:32.610 Danny Harris: Primarily, my work.

00:48:33.870 --> 00:48:34.620 Danny Harris: Is.

00:48:36.810 --> 00:48:52.920 Danny Harris: provided within the context of mindfulness it's about being here and now, with the idea that you have no power in the past or the future none, not even two minutes you are empowered only in the present.

00:48:54.720 --> 00:49:03.570 Danny Harris: So, not a lot of times, people are like cycling old old ideas that they're afraid of or they're fearful about our than regret, or whatever.

00:49:04.080 --> 00:49:12.930 Danny Harris: And they're not doing them in a way, they they're they're doing something about it by by rolling it around in their heads, but they're doing nothing.

00:49:13.380 --> 00:49:31.620 Danny Harris: It does nothing because we have no access to the past, we have no access to the future, so my exercises are structured toward helping people practice being in the present so that we don't will get hijacked.

00:49:31.860 --> 00:49:32.130 So.

00:49:33.630 --> 00:49:40.350 Albert Dabah: So, being in the present mindfulness one example, like what what what kind of exercise, would you give.

00:49:41.460 --> 00:49:59.880 Danny Harris: me how about eating a sandwich okay take your favorite sandwich how many times have you eat the sandwich where you were angry or in a hurry or you're upset or you're talking to somebody and you finish that sandwich some said hey how was that sandwich what I guess it was good.

00:50:01.500 --> 00:50:04.050 Danny Harris: Remember eating that sounds good, you weren't there for it.

00:50:05.490 --> 00:50:17.700 Danny Harris: you're too much in a hurry to angry too preoccupied to thinking about your work, thinking about something else, so the idea here is an exercise to pay to be with the sandwich.

00:50:18.150 --> 00:50:22.830 Danny Harris: You look at the sandwich with your eyes, you touch it with your fingers you springing up you smell it.

00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:30.420 Danny Harris: You bite into what you choose you choose it just a little bit longer than you might normally because it's it gets sweeter if you chew it.

00:50:31.350 --> 00:50:39.030 Danny Harris: Then you swallow it and you repeat that, until you're done with the sandwich and you don't leave the sounds, but if you don't do it as like a.

00:50:39.600 --> 00:50:55.110 Danny Harris: Like I gotta do this sandwich you do it effortlessly you simply choose to be present, it is, that is the practice of being present is simply choosing it in the same way that you will choose your life.

00:50:55.830 --> 00:51:03.090 Albert Dabah: Right now, I get it, I get on do you ever do people do you ever mentioned meditation to people.

00:51:03.210 --> 00:51:05.310 Danny Harris: I teach meditation on.

00:51:06.450 --> 00:51:08.670 Danny Harris: Everyone everyone gets the meditation.

00:51:10.170 --> 00:51:29.520 Danny Harris: it's based on transcendental meditation which is technically designed for a profound to develop a profound state of relax awareness, but that's not our purpose our purpose in this meditation is to habituate our minds to stay with our bodies.

00:51:31.800 --> 00:51:45.300 Danny Harris: Because the, the body doesn't time travel is the mind that flips into the past flips into the future, so this is a, this is a training and meditation you know twice a day and.

00:51:46.590 --> 00:51:52.140 Danny Harris: it's very helpful in building muscles that we don't ordinarily use.

00:51:52.770 --> 00:51:56.910 Danny Harris: muscles muscles and being present not physical muscles.

00:51:57.150 --> 00:52:10.170 Danny Harris: This culture is this culture, and this is a Malaysian this culture of consumerism materialism one upmanship comparing yourself to other people, nobody wants to be in their bodies.

00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:16.290 Danny Harris: They just want to you know feel good go buy a pair of pants maybe a watch.

00:52:17.370 --> 00:52:30.720 Danny Harris: You maybe I could be a spin is that person then i'll feel better, but no but, most people are not geared or train to be mindful in their bodies now.

00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:33.060 Danny Harris: And this is a great freedom.

00:52:35.520 --> 00:52:39.510 Albert Dabah: So do you practice, every day, do you practice them yeah.

00:52:44.010 --> 00:52:58.440 Albert Dabah: Well, I could see how definitely helping people to learn how to meditate can help them because I started meditating I don't meditate every day, but I do, and I find that.

00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:03.750 Albert Dabah: It it my mind kind of starts to feel.

00:53:05.340 --> 00:53:20.520 Albert Dabah: At times, something like Oh, I feel like writing now and i'll sit down and i'll write what do I write I depends on what i'm feeling at the time, but I think the fact of.

00:53:21.150 --> 00:53:34.110 Albert Dabah: learning how to calm your mind and like you said you're the architect of your mind and body and it's up to you to take the steps to.

00:53:35.250 --> 00:53:37.050 Albert Dabah: Do what you think you want to do.

00:53:38.070 --> 00:53:40.140 Danny Harris: Well, at least be responsible for it.

00:53:40.230 --> 00:53:51.810 Danny Harris: that's what I promote you're always going to do something right we're we're always going to do what we're committed to doing like you said i'm never i'm gonna die i'm never going to eat ice cream.

00:53:52.320 --> 00:53:58.290 Danny Harris: And 20 minutes later, you have to 711 buying a gallon of ice cream and asking for a spoon what does that mean.

00:54:00.090 --> 00:54:00.270 Albert Dabah: well.

00:54:00.300 --> 00:54:07.590 Danny Harris: It just means that you, you, you say you're committed to 90 actually but really in reality there's a hidden commitment.

00:54:08.190 --> 00:54:20.910 Danny Harris: of eating ice cream so everyone will do when they're committed to doing that they're not always responsible for it and that's key being responsible for your life is also a great freedom.

00:54:22.650 --> 00:54:29.610 Albert Dabah: yeah no I hundred percent agree with you, I think that form of responsibility it's always easy to.

00:54:30.150 --> 00:54:44.670 Albert Dabah: Blame somebody or blame even blaming yourself, I mean it doesn't do any good you about taking responsibility for your actions, and if you say you want to do something and do it, and then, if you don't do it figure out why don't why didn't I do it what's.

00:54:45.270 --> 00:54:47.010 Danny Harris: Your what are you really committed to.

00:54:47.310 --> 00:54:51.660 Albert Dabah: What are you really committed to, and I think that's that's for every action we take.

00:54:53.100 --> 00:54:59.460 Albert Dabah: You know whether it's a big action like you know relationship, are you committed to that relationship, are you.

00:55:00.090 --> 00:55:05.340 Albert Dabah: You tell someone you don't want to see anyone else you just want to see them and then the next minute you're calling someone else.

00:55:06.180 --> 00:55:27.330 Albert Dabah: You know well where's where's your responsibility and that happens, a lot all kinds of stuff like that happens, well, I think we've covered a lot tonight, Dan and it's been great seeing you on how do people get to find you where How can people find you if they want to see you.

00:55:28.380 --> 00:55:35.700 Danny Harris: And they can find me on my website www new horizons

00:55:36.270 --> 00:55:38.520 Albert Dabah: Okay, say that one more time, so people can.

00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:43.050 Danny Harris: write it www new horizons, you know, the new horizon.

00:55:43.380 --> 00:55:47.160 Danny Harris: new horizons

00:55:47.610 --> 00:55:55.530 Albert Dabah: Okay, well, you heard that everyone, and if anyone wants to see extra innings you can go to assemble movies that calm, or you can go to.

00:55:57.450 --> 00:56:08.910 Albert Dabah: Amazon, you can go to peacock and other you can just look it up it's on six or seven different platforms so it's been a pleasure, having you on this podcast tonight.

00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:09.510 Albert Dabah: Dan.

00:56:09.540 --> 00:56:12.450 Danny Harris: You so much I appreciate the opportunity.

00:56:12.450 --> 00:56:17.310 Albert Dabah: I feel like I learned a lot and let's let's keep in touch be well.

00:56:17.400 --> 00:56:18.000 Danny Harris: Okay buddy.

00:56:18.300 --> 00:56:19.620 Danny Harris: All right, let's shana tova.

00:56:19.980 --> 00:56:21.030 Albert Dabah: that's a lot bye bye.

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