Extra Innings

Monday, June 28, 2021
Facebook Live Video from 2021/06/28 - Opening Up: Being Yourself & Connecting with Others with Lisa Menichino

Facebook Live Video from 2021/06/28 - Opening Up: Being Yourself & Connecting with Others with Lisa Menichino


2021/06/28 - Opening Up: Being Yourself & Connecting with Others with Lisa Menichino

[NEW EPISODE] Opening Up: Being Yourself & Connecting with Others with Lisa Menichino

Lisa Menichino was born and raised in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. A working class, catholic, Italian American neighborhood, at the time. Her parents divorced when she was 10, and my sister and I were raised primarily by my Mom, with lots of extended family close by. I went to John Dewey High School, and then St Joseph's College, where I majored in Sociology. After graduating I started working as a Probation Officer, in NYC Family court. I worked there for a few years, with the intention of going back to school for my MSW, but before I did that, however, I wanted to take some time off, and really consider if it was the right path for me.

It was during this time, the early -mid 90's, that I came out as a lesbian, and moved to Manhattan. I had always bartended, on and off, to earn extra money. I had a friend who worked at the Cubbyhole, a small bar in the West Village, servicing the LBGQT+ community. She introduced me to the owner, and I began working there in early 2001. Almost immediately, I fell in love with the little corner bar, it's vibe, it's owner, the almost magical way it had of engendering a loyalty, and emotional connection among so many of it's patrons. What was to be a year or so hiatus, turned into a 20+ year career. I bartended for about 7-8 years, managed it for another 4-5, and when the owner became ill, I more or less ran the bar for her during the last 3 years of her life.

When she passed away in 2018, she bequeathed the bar to me, and I have been running it with deference to her vision for it, and the legacy she created.

Tune in for this important conversation at or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.

Show Notes

Segment 1

The show starts by introducing the guest Lisa Menichino who was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. She is also the owner of the lesbian bar titled the Cubbyhole. Originally, the bar was one of the only ways for people to meet others especially for gay people. As time passed, the LGBTQ commubity became more accepted which led to a decline in these types of bars. Lisa became the owner of Cubbyhole after bartending there for several years and being introduced to the owner through a friend. She was in the middle of a year long break from school when the owner fell sick and she started running the business. Personally, she knew she was gay in her early 20’s. She is so thankful for her family that accepted and embraced her. She has other relatives who were coming out during the 70’s and were not as accepted by others.

Segment 2

Over the years, Lisa has met many people who have been treated unfairly just because of their sexuality. Also, she has made it a responsibility to be an activist and speak out about gay people dying of aids. This has been a big problem over time. Next, Albert begins discussing his experiences he had while acting. Sometimes when he would act as a gay person or in a gay bar people would assume he was gay and he would have to explain to people he was not.

Segment 3

The bar’s name was originally DT’s fat cats. The D & T stood for Debbie and Tanya. Their goal was to create a safe place for lesbians but also did not want anybody else to feel not welcome. The place soon became a hot spot. Lisa says people love how they make people special and feel at home. Next, Albert’s film and family is discussed. Not everyone had a good reaction to the film but it was important for Albert to express his experiences through the film. One of the main things that kept Albert sane was baseball. Everyone has that one thing that can help them get through tough times.

Segment 4

The Cubbyhole is one of the last few lesbian bars in New York City. This month is pride month and there have been some great celebrations going on lately. Also, Lisa loves how couples like to share their milestones with the club. Others have shared how couples have had their first kiss and date there. There was also a story about that place being one of the last places somebody ever was before passing. Clearly, any place where people like to spend their first and last moments is a special one.


00:00:46.770 --> 00:00:54.630 Albert Dabah: hi there, welcome to extra innings covering all the bases, my name is Albert dabba I am the host of the show.

00:00:56.370 --> 00:01:11.550 Albert Dabah: I am a filmmaker and owner of symbol productions a production company, I had for over 41 years and I am a mental health advocate on extra innings we talk about families family relationships love.

00:01:12.810 --> 00:01:20.190 Albert Dabah: Mental wellness mental illness and how many people deal with the stigma of mental illness.

00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:26.400 Albert Dabah: we've had on many different kinds of guests on our show from all phases and all professions of life.

00:01:28.080 --> 00:01:46.260 Albert Dabah: Extra innings actually comes from a film that I wrote directed produced and acted in and it's called extra innings and it's on Amazon prime right now, so if you have a chance watch it and it deals with my family relationships growing up in the 1960s, based on a true story.

00:01:47.280 --> 00:02:10.560 Albert Dabah: So, tonight we have on our so Lisa mendocino Lisa is a new yorker and she owns a lesbian bar in New York City called the cubby hole and i'm having on our show tonight because she has a very diverse background and background that I think is really.

00:02:11.580 --> 00:02:29.310 Albert Dabah: great to have on our show tonight because it's pride month and this weekend was a big weekend Gay Pride weekend and love to talk about that and her experiences in her journey of life so Lisa how are you tonight.

00:02:29.850 --> 00:02:31.770 Lisa Menichino: i'm good, how are you.

00:02:32.100 --> 00:02:33.780 Albert Dabah: i'm okay i'm okay.

00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:46.050 Albert Dabah: So tell me about how you got to the point of, and one of the points that I saw written up in the news I think it was the New York Times.

00:02:46.830 --> 00:03:01.380 Albert Dabah: about her there's only three lesbian bars left in New York City and we were just talking about it and I asked you whether a lot more before and you said yes, there were so tell me about that whole evolution of.

00:03:02.430 --> 00:03:08.850 Albert Dabah: lesbian bars in New York City, how you got to own a bar and where it's at right now.

00:03:09.690 --> 00:03:24.930 Lisa Menichino: Well, when I was coming out in I would say early to mid 90s, there were at least in New York, there was the good I don't know how to be good 10 different bars or clubs that will last me and.

00:03:27.450 --> 00:03:37.680 Lisa Menichino: I think there were two over 200 in the country I think what happened was you know the advent of technology, well, let me preface this that it's.

00:03:38.730 --> 00:03:51.420 Lisa Menichino: It used to be that the bar was the only place that you can go to meet someone whether romantically or socially that that was, like other gay people, and I think, with the advent of technology.

00:03:52.440 --> 00:03:59.100 Lisa Menichino: It offer different places in which people could do that, and then, as the gay community as we assimilated.

00:03:59.580 --> 00:04:13.110 Lisa Menichino: You it was okay to be out at work, it was okay to go to a straight bar and be out, and so you can meet people that way, so the need the original need for lesbian or gay bar kind of diminished in that way and.

00:04:14.490 --> 00:04:23.280 Lisa Menichino: yeah I mean isn't it a sort of a byproduct of us getting more and more accepted and unfortunate byproduct and I think.

00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:38.340 Lisa Menichino: Most it's always been like a connectivity between celebrating our identities and the bar, you know I mean that's where we went that's where we went went to be, together with other people like us, and so.

00:04:39.390 --> 00:04:51.930 Lisa Menichino: With a number of them just diminishing it's um it's a sad byproduct of the broader good of being accepted by everyone well, not everyone, but you know what I mean so.

00:04:54.120 --> 00:04:58.620 Lisa Menichino: that's that's kind of what happened, I also think that the lesbians.

00:04:59.970 --> 00:05:07.800 Lisa Menichino: always looked at the bar is sort of like an old friend that you know it's always going to be there, you know i'm in a relationship now I have kids now.

00:05:08.070 --> 00:05:23.280 Lisa Menichino: But you know if I you know, a couple of year from now, if I want to go have a drink it'll be they're not making the connection that there are sustenance without them without their continued regular support we can survive and I, you know.

00:05:24.570 --> 00:05:31.950 Lisa Menichino: there's a documentary right now called the lesbian bar project which is bringing attention to this issue across the nation.

00:05:33.270 --> 00:05:39.870 Lisa Menichino: The the filmmakers went and visited all the 21 bars that have left.

00:05:42.300 --> 00:05:51.600 Lisa Menichino: And talked about this issue and it's it's very it's gaining in popularity and it's bringing this attention to light, and I think they're kind of getting it.

00:05:52.800 --> 00:06:02.400 Lisa Menichino: You know that you have to come, I mean yeah it's fine you get married you have kids I know your time is limited, but you know make time for a drink and support someone in your community.

00:06:03.420 --> 00:06:09.810 Albert Dabah: So how is it that you said before the show there are a lot more gay bars and there are lesbian bar, so why is that.

00:06:10.530 --> 00:06:12.390 Lisa Menichino: I think you know there's.

00:06:13.470 --> 00:06:14.370 Lisa Menichino: One component is.

00:06:16.440 --> 00:06:26.190 Lisa Menichino: That discrepancy in income I men always make because I have always made more money than women it's it's closing but it's still there, so you have two men.

00:06:26.820 --> 00:06:35.280 Lisa Menichino: Together they're going to make a lot more money in general than two women so they've had more discretionary income to go out also, I think.

00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:48.150 Lisa Menichino: And you know they're not engaged in like broad generalities, but I think historically women were always the ones who stayed home who organized the House, he took care of them, you know.

00:06:49.770 --> 00:07:01.800 Lisa Menichino: The budget budget is things and and so with that with that socialization I think we're naturally more cautious so, even if we have extra money we're more cautious with it than to go out and.

00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:09.630 Lisa Menichino: You know, extend it might seem extravagant to us to go out and spend a couple hundred dollars on it, you know, a night of drinking.

00:07:10.740 --> 00:07:14.550 Lisa Menichino: Whereas for men that's not an issue you know what I mean.

00:07:15.450 --> 00:07:16.620 Albert Dabah: yeah and I understand.

00:07:17.820 --> 00:07:18.180 Lisa Menichino: yeah.

00:07:18.540 --> 00:07:27.210 Albert Dabah: But I think that maybe to that, together with a whole you know social media going on and people meeting other ways and meeting at a bar.

00:07:27.660 --> 00:07:35.910 Albert Dabah: is part of that, but it seems like your bar is really been a Community places I know it's in the West village was it on West 12 street I think you said.

00:07:36.270 --> 00:07:37.140 Lisa Menichino: West Coast yeah.

00:07:37.260 --> 00:07:39.300 Lisa Menichino: yeah cornered West traffic and forth.

00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:43.650 Albert Dabah: West 12 and four street so is an essential location.

00:07:44.730 --> 00:07:52.650 Albert Dabah: Well, I mean it's you know it's good New York City location for sure um well, maybe tell us also how you.

00:07:53.670 --> 00:07:55.950 Albert Dabah: How you got to run the bar and own the bar.

00:07:57.270 --> 00:07:57.960 Lisa Menichino: Well, if.

00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:13.680 Lisa Menichino: it's funny how you know your life takes you on these circuitous paths that you never dreamt that you'd be doing when I I went to college, I always thought I wanted to be a social worker or a psychologist account something.

00:08:14.700 --> 00:08:23.580 Lisa Menichino: And I majored in sociology I got my BA in sociology and I started working as a probation officer, you know, trying to help.

00:08:25.770 --> 00:08:33.690 Lisa Menichino: You young people that found themselves in trouble and family court and I enjoyed that for the first couple of years, but then it started it started to change.

00:08:34.560 --> 00:08:53.370 Lisa Menichino: Their policies started to change, where they were more interest in expedience and and and quantity then then we're in quality and I started kind of getting a little bit disillusioned and burnt out from it, so my intention had been to go back to get my masters in social work.

00:08:54.450 --> 00:08:55.920 Lisa Menichino: But I thought you know.

00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:04.980 Lisa Menichino: Let me just take like a year break and really figure this out and see if that's really, what I want to do before I commit myself to that and.

00:09:06.780 --> 00:09:11.430 Lisa Menichino: So I did that I had always bartender on off, you know to earn a little bit extra money.

00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:20.010 Lisa Menichino: I had a friend who was working at the cubby hole, and it was you know, a place that I hadn't gone to socially and she was leaving she was moving to Florida.

00:09:20.670 --> 00:09:30.120 Lisa Menichino: And she introduced me to the owner and we got we got on and I started working there in early 2001 and.

00:09:31.110 --> 00:09:39.150 Lisa Menichino: I just I fell in love with the place, with it, with its patrons with its audience with its owner which with it's.

00:09:39.780 --> 00:09:49.800 Lisa Menichino: Almost magical ability to make people who come there feel connected on the emotional level it's an extraordinary place it truly is and.

00:09:50.610 --> 00:10:08.100 Lisa Menichino: So I worked there for as a bartender for about seven or eight years became the manager and then the original owner became ill and I sort of ran it for her for a few years and then, when she passed away three and a half years ago she left it to me to continue.

00:10:09.150 --> 00:10:11.340 Albert Dabah: Well, well well that must have felt good.

00:10:12.360 --> 00:10:22.680 Lisa Menichino: it's sort of bittersweet in a way, because I I adored her and she was like just an amazing woman in so many ways, such such a like a pillar of the Community truly.

00:10:23.610 --> 00:10:37.200 Lisa Menichino: And so losing her was hard, but I was glad that she left because she I think she knew that I would continue it on in her vision and with her legacy, so I think that had a lot to do with it.

00:10:38.280 --> 00:10:40.320 Lisa Menichino: But yeah I mean I was happy for that.

00:10:41.550 --> 00:10:49.470 Albert Dabah: So um let's go back a little bit when you said you were coming out as being gay and.

00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:55.440 Albert Dabah: Is it just in terms of the nomenclature of saying gay and lesbian is.

00:10:57.240 --> 00:11:09.900 Albert Dabah: me not being Bay but, having been apart as an actor working in some I may have told you this when we spoke before i've worked in a gay play and a movie that dealt with.

00:11:10.680 --> 00:11:21.480 Albert Dabah: gay guys and been around and being as an actor there's a lot of gay people in acting so I became accustomed to being around gay people.

00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:35.100 Albert Dabah: When someone says gay these days visit me in a man or does he you know full assault me, I mean, excuse me for that it might be a simple, you know you should know that already i've whether you say gay or lesbian but.

00:11:35.220 --> 00:11:44.730 Lisa Menichino: I think what to me gay I like the word gay um so I I interpreted as a meeting both.

00:11:46.020 --> 00:11:58.320 Lisa Menichino: The lesbian Community I think a lot of younger one younger lesbians have taken back like to take back the epithets that people used to throw at us like dyck so they like to be called like they like to be cold here.

00:11:58.770 --> 00:12:04.290 Lisa Menichino: Okay, and then you add into it, this new gender fluidity and i'm.

00:12:05.370 --> 00:12:25.440 Lisa Menichino: A lesbian is female so they might not associate me being female but they not may not want to be associated with either gender so calling them a lesbian is actually you know not who they are, so it gets a little bit confusing, but for but I made myself, I like gay okay.

00:12:25.800 --> 00:12:32.160 Albert Dabah: So when when you came out as being gay what was that, like, for you how old were you.

00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:42.360 Lisa Menichino: I was in my early 20s and I had always known I guess it was.

00:12:43.500 --> 00:12:44.070 Lisa Menichino: Actually.

00:12:45.090 --> 00:12:52.380 Lisa Menichino: My family I grew up in a sort of working class Italian Catholic neighborhood and that was my family as well.

00:12:53.460 --> 00:13:06.270 Lisa Menichino: My parents divorced, when I was 10 and I was raised, mostly by my mother, but with extended a lot of extended family that lived like just a few blocks away so they all contributed into the raising part of my sister night but.

00:13:07.560 --> 00:13:13.050 Lisa Menichino: My mom has a gay sister my aunt and she was.

00:13:14.070 --> 00:13:27.180 Lisa Menichino: Like a real activist she she was really in the, and this was like the 70s before it was cool and I have to say I have to say, you know I am so lucky with my family because.

00:13:28.350 --> 00:13:31.170 Lisa Menichino: They accepted my aunt back then.

00:13:32.520 --> 00:13:42.180 Lisa Menichino: And they totally embraced me, and I know from hearing all different kinds of what people's journeys have been and what their experience has been that is not.

00:13:43.530 --> 00:13:52.170 Lisa Menichino: Have has not been the case, especially back then, in the 70s and even earlier, in fact, the.

00:13:53.880 --> 00:13:58.530 Lisa Menichino: The original owner tanya she came out in the late 50s and.

00:14:01.950 --> 00:14:09.840 Lisa Menichino: In the 60s she met her partner, and both her partner's family and her family would have completely disowned them have they come out.

00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:17.700 Lisa Menichino: So they ended up they lived in the West village and they had two gay guys that were lived upstairs from them that they became friends with.

00:14:18.030 --> 00:14:27.330 Lisa Menichino: And they actually ended up legally getting married to each one of them, so that if, when their family visited or if they had to do family functions, they went and.

00:14:28.860 --> 00:14:29.970 Lisa Menichino: With their husbands there.

00:14:30.900 --> 00:14:43.650 Lisa Menichino: They actually had a full on wedding it was like a legal marriage, but that's the extent that they had to go to you know, so I know that i'm really fortunate in that it wasn't but so with my family anyway.

00:14:45.210 --> 00:14:49.230 Lisa Menichino: It wasn't easy, though, on a social level.

00:14:51.570 --> 00:14:55.980 Lisa Menichino: Because I had mostly straight friends at the time, so they were kind of.

00:14:57.360 --> 00:15:06.660 Lisa Menichino: I wouldn't say the like some of them kind of just blew me off, but I think most of them, even if they didn't quite understand it, they tried to and um.

00:15:08.430 --> 00:15:18.060 Lisa Menichino: But it was difficult it was difficult because I didn't have any I had my aunt but my aunt was really more of an activist than I am i'm more reserved.

00:15:19.500 --> 00:15:20.160 Lisa Menichino: So.

00:15:21.750 --> 00:15:27.360 Lisa Menichino: Coming out, and I was pretty much on my own to go and meet other gay people in my friends, all my friends to straight.

00:15:29.700 --> 00:15:36.300 Lisa Menichino: And, except for one day I met this one i'm gay boy, that was a.

00:15:37.980 --> 00:15:41.280 Lisa Menichino: became friends, but for the most part, I was kind of on my own so.

00:15:42.090 --> 00:15:42.720 Albert Dabah: Let me.

00:15:44.250 --> 00:15:51.930 Albert Dabah: Just because we have a commercial break come up so we'll come back to what we're talking about when was Lisa managing know and we'll be right back, thank you.

00:18:20.550 --> 00:18:35.340 Albert Dabah: I were talking with Lisa mendocino she's the owner of the cubby Hall, which is on West 12th in New York City and the cover you know, excuse me, the cubby hole is a lesbian bar as far as the only three left in New York City.

00:18:36.570 --> 00:18:42.330 Albert Dabah: So Lisa we were just talking about when you came out when you're gay in the 20s and what it was like for you.

00:18:44.220 --> 00:18:44.820 Albert Dabah: So.

00:18:46.890 --> 00:18:49.320 Albert Dabah: So that was in what year was that in about.

00:18:49.680 --> 00:19:08.700 Lisa Menichino: me i've seen as the early 90s, so we, there was a lot going on today, there was still the AIDS crisis going on and like I said I had my one I should have my one gay male friend to it, who ended up passing away from AIDS and like I also mentioned that I was never.

00:19:10.680 --> 00:19:20.160 Lisa Menichino: activists like my aunt but there was one time, when I did get involved with them act up and fighting for the rights of.

00:19:21.810 --> 00:19:22.830 Lisa Menichino: People that were dying.

00:19:24.240 --> 00:19:25.620 Lisa Menichino: of AIDS because.

00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:35.790 Lisa Menichino: He in here was another example, his family completely I mean he was completely closeted and when they found out.

00:19:36.810 --> 00:19:53.010 Lisa Menichino: They disowned and I remember him in the hospital, you know begging to see his mom because he was in pain, he was in pain so get choked up about it, and you know she did she would come because of his lifestyle.

00:19:54.120 --> 00:19:58.050 Lisa Menichino: And I was so just enraged by that but.

00:19:59.280 --> 00:20:15.480 Lisa Menichino: It brought me out of myself out of my Shell to come in, you know, I have to do something I mean I don't know if I did anything but I I joined the gay men's health crisis, I did the Marches I did whatever I could because that was horrible that's horrible.

00:20:16.590 --> 00:20:20.940 Albert Dabah: yeah, it is a horrible thing I knew a guy, who was a I was.

00:20:22.590 --> 00:20:34.050 Albert Dabah: doing a lot of acting then and studying and I had a girlfriend who's best friend was gay and he ended up dying to AIDS, but I got to know him well and he was a real sweet man, he was a.

00:20:34.950 --> 00:20:45.510 Albert Dabah: Excellent ballet dancer and he died of AIDS, and I also had a client of mine who is this great guy he brought us so much business of.

00:20:47.520 --> 00:20:53.100 Albert Dabah: was called dance Olympus was the name of the place and he was the manager and.

00:20:54.360 --> 00:21:02.550 Albert Dabah: He His name was Richard de Sarno and just a lovely guy I love talking to him and he got sick and died of AIDS and.

00:21:03.750 --> 00:21:24.150 Albert Dabah: You know, being in the arts business you do meet a lot of gay people, and you know I came into situations where men were attracted to me, and you know I had to be polite and say i'm not gay and you know multiple many, many times, especially when I did escape play in a gay bar.

00:21:24.690 --> 00:21:28.350 Lisa Menichino: name it they assumed you were gay Chris you're in the game yeah.

00:21:28.590 --> 00:21:37.290 Albert Dabah: And when the bar when when the play ended up being that it was in a gay bar so I assume, most of the guys, who gave their my mother even came on the night.

00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:50.790 Albert Dabah: And I was swarmed at the end of the play by all these guys and then one night I went out with the oldest guy of the cast to learn more about the gay scene.

00:21:51.390 --> 00:21:59.460 Albert Dabah: When we did about 12 performances, but after the first week he said why don't I go out and take you to a gay bar and show what it's like.

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:22.740 Albert Dabah: And, and this was when you know the I have to say was in the 1980s, or maybe late 70s and gay scene was really big on the upper West side and the lower West side you know you drive by and on a Sunday and maybe guys out there was just a pair of jeans on or something and.

00:22:23.940 --> 00:22:31.560 Albert Dabah: And I went with him to this gay bar and he said let's dress up like we do in the play, and you know, I was wearing leather and he was wearing a cowboy thing.

00:22:32.130 --> 00:22:45.810 Albert Dabah: And he said there's a whole tradition here like if you have your handkerchief in a certain way, it means you're looking or not looking I don't remember how I had it, but I do remember him going into the bathroom and I felt like a swarm of bees came on top of.

00:22:45.810 --> 00:22:46.170 me.

00:22:47.880 --> 00:22:59.820 Albert Dabah: You know, and actually it felt Nice that there were you know, like there's people interested in me, but on the other hand, you know I kept saying no i'm not gay in blah blah blah and.

00:23:00.510 --> 00:23:11.580 Albert Dabah: And there were other answers and incidences like that, when I was acting in place where there would be always an encounter with a gay guy and you know and i'd have to say, you know i'm not gay you know.

00:23:12.870 --> 00:23:27.630 Albert Dabah: And, but I used to hang out the author of the play was gay and we went to his house one night and he showed us all the paraphernalia that he had in his house, which was mentioned in the play and to me, I mean i'm just naturally a curious guy and.

00:23:29.580 --> 00:23:33.960 Albert Dabah: Then there was an Al pacino movie called cruising that I did some work in.

00:23:34.470 --> 00:23:43.530 Albert Dabah: which was really nuts, because people were protesting the movie because it was about his pathological killer who happened to be gay.

00:23:43.950 --> 00:23:56.040 Albert Dabah: And you know I don't know how many people probably read the script probably very little, but they felt the gay community felt that it was kind of like an Anti gay movie that every guy was gay is a pathological crazy man.

00:23:57.120 --> 00:24:01.080 Albert Dabah: So I think I worked on a two nights and.

00:24:02.280 --> 00:24:08.970 Albert Dabah: The first night we couldn't shoot and they held us up at the one of the appears on the West side because.

00:24:09.480 --> 00:24:15.780 Albert Dabah: There was all these protesters to the movie you know blowing a whistle so we couldn't shoot because you couldn't have all the sound.

00:24:16.560 --> 00:24:33.930 Albert Dabah: So it wasn't until like one in the morning that we all went downtown to shoot, but in the meantime, they held us up to peer and it became this huge party like and i'm actually met a guy from high school that I didn't and I get i'm dressed up and leather and he's just up in letter and.

00:24:35.070 --> 00:24:45.360 Albert Dabah: He I say Charles Albert what are you doing here and then blah blah blah, so it turned out, he was gay I didn't know that and I just want one okay i'm just action movie.

00:24:46.260 --> 00:24:50.670 Albert Dabah: But everybody was bringing up drugs, and this, and so it was like a big party.

00:24:51.420 --> 00:25:03.120 Albert Dabah: And, by the time we got to shoot i'll never forget it like there was like I don't know how many at least 75 to 100 guys walking down like West fourth street and I felt like we were in again.

00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:13.830 Albert Dabah: And and it's an Al pacino movie it wasn't no little schlocky movie I think it was not correct if i'm not mistaken, I think, was William friedkin directed this movie.

00:25:15.060 --> 00:25:15.570 Albert Dabah: and

00:25:16.920 --> 00:25:29.850 Albert Dabah: We shot to like five in the morning, or something and I got in a poster that was on that I didn't know this, so my sister called me in La and said Albert there's the movie cruising plane and there's a poster view outside.

00:25:30.750 --> 00:25:43.500 Albert Dabah: I go what and she sent me a while no she didn't send me a picture of it, but I was I don't remember how I saw but it's on i'm on the album cover there was a music soundtrack so I still love that album cover me, you know.

00:25:45.120 --> 00:25:47.820 Albert Dabah: You know leaning against the wall being in.

00:25:48.840 --> 00:25:49.530 Albert Dabah: and leather.

00:25:50.220 --> 00:25:50.430 But.

00:25:51.600 --> 00:25:53.640 Lisa Menichino: yeah it's my office there yeah.

00:25:55.020 --> 00:25:57.210 Albert Dabah: I would show it to you, but I wouldn't I have all my.

00:25:58.380 --> 00:26:12.090 Albert Dabah: You know my brother used to listen to classical music I have all those records have all my records sitting right here, but I wouldn't know how to find it right now but i'll send it to you, but it's a it's um but I made sure to find it and.

00:26:13.350 --> 00:26:14.940 Albert Dabah: Like I always felt like.

00:26:17.220 --> 00:26:27.780 Albert Dabah: it's important to respect other people and I wrote down some i'm gonna write them down some thoughts about a blog about you know society about what's going on today.

00:26:29.010 --> 00:26:33.720 Albert Dabah: there's so much division there's I mean there's always tragedies there's always.

00:26:34.230 --> 00:26:41.400 Albert Dabah: people think they're right and people are wrong, whether it's just within a relationship when people have a dispute about something.

00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:49.920 Albert Dabah: everyone's got their own background, you know there's a lot of times, where people just don't trust other people, for whatever reason.

00:26:50.370 --> 00:26:55.890 Albert Dabah: And I think it usually goes back to family or marriages failed marriages or failed relationships.

00:26:56.850 --> 00:27:08.730 Albert Dabah: or other or own insecurities or whatever it is, because everyone has something that you know you grow up from and leave it and get through it, but maybe there's a remnant of it instill in you and.

00:27:09.690 --> 00:27:16.500 Albert Dabah: You know i've worked as I told you, I did get an msw degree and work as a therapist for five years, and recently gene degree.

00:27:17.610 --> 00:27:25.350 Albert Dabah: Because he had a license now is very difficult and all the supervisors, I had are no longer around, because this is back in the late 70s.

00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:36.630 Albert Dabah: But I like even today on the show I said mental health advocate as opposed to the therapist because i'm actively I did work with someone recently but i'm actually not working as a therapist now.

00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:47.370 Albert Dabah: And i'm looking at possibly different films to maybe director producer seeing what what goes on there, as well as keeping on this podcast because I really enjoy.

00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:59.310 Albert Dabah: meeting people from different backgrounds and i'm hoping Lee gaining an audience that people can relate to, because I think your story is a very relatable story.

00:28:00.840 --> 00:28:09.030 Albert Dabah: You know I had a woman on last week, who lost her husband F 18 and a half years to suicide, but it's not like she goes out, and you know.

00:28:10.050 --> 00:28:25.830 Albert Dabah: writes books about it or speaks to you know people out in conventions or mental health things she's just a woman that which I think is probably more the average person, although I have interviewed people who've written books and you know very good books about.

00:28:27.150 --> 00:28:35.100 Albert Dabah: Being a therapist or being a healer or you know coming out it's really speaking about mental health, and the reason why.

00:28:35.730 --> 00:28:44.820 Albert Dabah: I enjoyed her so much as well as the other people, it was because she just seemed like this could happen to anyone, and she be she seemed so real.

00:28:45.300 --> 00:28:59.910 Albert Dabah: And she was referred to me by someone and she didn't even know that her husband tried to kill himself before she met him twice until afterwards, a friend told her, so there are so many things that happen in life with people that.

00:29:01.110 --> 00:29:03.900 Albert Dabah: We don't know the facts until later.

00:29:04.500 --> 00:29:05.400 Albert Dabah: And, but.

00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:09.090 Albert Dabah: Many times we make up our decisions based on the.

00:29:10.200 --> 00:29:16.260 Albert Dabah: little bit We know, and I think that's unfortunate and that's unfortunate you know so um.

00:29:18.870 --> 00:29:28.980 Albert Dabah: I you know I think coming out being gay is got to be really difficult thing for particular what family you come from and where you're from.

00:29:29.370 --> 00:29:35.610 Albert Dabah: But the question was asked to me would have my my son or a woman my daughter woman came and said, you know okay.

00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:41.880 Albert Dabah: Well, you know I have my father told me if I went out with a non Jewish women and got serious whether he would disown me.

00:29:42.390 --> 00:29:57.000 Albert Dabah: And it kind of felt like I mean it's a different thing, but it also heard a lot, so I actually my fault I played my father in the film them and I played that scene, it really hurt me because I kept thinking, what does it feel like to what am what am I felt like to him to say that to me.

00:29:58.080 --> 00:30:13.170 Albert Dabah: Then i'll own you as a as a sudden because i'm going out with someone's from that the same faith anyway, I think we have to take a break so we'll be right back with Lisa manage you know and stay tuned Thank you.

00:30:17.310 --> 00:30:17.610 Albert Dabah: You.

00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:16.590 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with the segment a chino and talking about her experience of owning the lesbian bar cool the cubby hole in the city I love the name the company whoa where did that come I know she started your the I guess she.

00:33:18.390 --> 00:33:20.760 Albert Dabah: Created the name the cubbyhole the former owner.

00:33:20.970 --> 00:33:21.960 Lisa Menichino: No actually.

00:33:23.310 --> 00:33:37.770 Lisa Menichino: She when she first opened the door she opened, it would a partner and they named it dt fat cats debbie and tanya is fat cats and that partnership dissolved and there was another lesbian bar.

00:33:39.090 --> 00:33:50.580 Lisa Menichino: called the cubby hole and that lesbian bar expanded so that it was no longer a cubby hole, so the owner of them for change the name and the name became available.

00:33:51.600 --> 00:34:01.410 Lisa Menichino: Shortly after the dissolution of the partnership that tanya had so she took that name and recreated the whole the whole bar.

00:34:02.520 --> 00:34:16.680 Lisa Menichino: And in 1994 she opened it as the cubby hole so that that's how that name came to be, and it is because it is a small space it's a little bit over 500 square feet i'd say the big personality.

00:34:17.550 --> 00:34:20.040 Albert Dabah: Oh wow so it's not a it's a small little bar.

00:34:20.100 --> 00:34:21.180 Lisa Menichino: Right yeah hmm.

00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:23.490 Albert Dabah: How many like how many tables, you have.

00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:29.550 Lisa Menichino: We don't we have like a couple of more tables like a tall bar tables and then we have about.

00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:35.010 Lisa Menichino: I would say, maybe 15 schools.

00:34:36.030 --> 00:34:36.990 Lisa Menichino: 20 stores, maybe.

00:34:37.200 --> 00:34:47.340 Albert Dabah: Do you get you get to since it's such a Community place it sounds like you get to know many of the people that are there, I kind of have a sense that you do.

00:34:47.730 --> 00:34:50.760 Lisa Menichino: Yes, that's what makes this bar so special because.

00:34:53.220 --> 00:34:54.150 Lisa Menichino: The way.

00:34:56.670 --> 00:34:59.520 Lisa Menichino: It was um how to how to explain this it's a.

00:35:01.350 --> 00:35:09.720 Lisa Menichino: it's a it's a place where you know I don't want us something trite like everybody knows your name but it's true, I think you know you go in there and.

00:35:10.350 --> 00:35:20.640 Lisa Menichino: If you go in there more than once or twice people know who you are because it's small and it's it's intimate and it's an environment where you feel safe talking to the person next to you.

00:35:21.720 --> 00:35:22.680 Lisa Menichino: Even if you don't know them.

00:35:24.720 --> 00:35:30.480 Lisa Menichino: it's maybe that's because physically it's so small, I, but I think it's more the ambience.

00:35:31.950 --> 00:35:37.860 Lisa Menichino: tanya always wanted to create a place that was was a safe haven for lesbians, but also.

00:35:39.060 --> 00:35:53.490 Lisa Menichino: Never unwelcome to other types of the friends that look like game in or transgender people or straight people or the person living across the street, she never wanted anyone to feel unwelcome.

00:35:54.630 --> 00:35:55.080 Lisa Menichino: and

00:35:56.100 --> 00:36:06.030 Lisa Menichino: It became like a you know a little neighborhood icon for people to go and she never ever closed in the 27 years you're open.

00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:15.240 Lisa Menichino: The sheet stayed open 911 she stayed open the sandy blackouts blizzards the only time he closed was march 16 for the pandemic.

00:36:16.050 --> 00:36:24.420 Lisa Menichino: And she did that, so that people who are experiencing like environmental stresses would have a place to come, even if it was just for a couple hours and.

00:36:25.110 --> 00:36:33.840 Lisa Menichino: I think over the years, people came to really appreciate that because New York is is a huge city what, but it can be a very lonely place as crowded, as it is.

00:36:34.200 --> 00:36:43.800 Lisa Menichino: I think you know I live in midtown hell's kitchen and I have about 100 100 apartments in my building and I barely know any of my neighbors.

00:36:44.460 --> 00:36:59.190 Lisa Menichino: And so you take this little barn it's like a small town plop down in the middle of a huge city, and I think it reminds people of home, sometimes, and I think through the years people have appreciated that.

00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:02.010 Lisa Menichino: And then we make people feel special.

00:37:02.580 --> 00:37:06.120 Lisa Menichino: there's I don't know I if I sent you a picture of the bar i'm not sure, but.

00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:14.820 Lisa Menichino: there's all these things hanging from the ceiling and tanya got that idea on a trip somewhere she saw something hanging from the ceiling and.

00:37:15.450 --> 00:37:34.620 Lisa Menichino: she's very superstitious person and basically she felt that fish lady bugs frogs and pigs were lucky so that's what hung from the ceiling, along with vines at first, and then it sort of started to evolve, where the change with the seasons and the holidays, but behind the bar.

00:37:35.730 --> 00:37:48.960 Lisa Menichino: People from all over the place would bring us souvenirs from their travels and we would hang them up behind the bar, so we have tons of those and those we never change those like stay there until they fall off.

00:37:49.890 --> 00:37:57.240 Lisa Menichino: So it's that kind of connection, you know I mean a simple little thing like that makes people feel so special.

00:37:57.870 --> 00:38:09.300 Albert Dabah: Well, you know what it seems to me that it's a very warm friendly atmosphere, I was going to ask you and you just answer the question like if a straight person came in, they welcome there.

00:38:11.250 --> 00:38:12.930 Lisa Menichino: Yes, everyone, everyone is welcome.

00:38:12.990 --> 00:38:15.060 Lisa Menichino: As long as they're respectful and.

00:38:15.870 --> 00:38:24.630 Lisa Menichino: It got a little, I have to say, though, again, but one of the byproducts of being you know, open and out and accepted was um.

00:38:25.800 --> 00:38:34.380 Lisa Menichino: I started to get request to do bachelorette parties straight women bachelor parties and I I did a couple, but then I started to notice like.

00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:42.570 Lisa Menichino: They were just coming in, like little bucket lists, you know things they wanted to do before they got married one of them was make out what a girl.

00:38:43.110 --> 00:38:50.700 Lisa Menichino: And he became kind of clownish you know, and it was like demeaning to the bar so I stopped that but as long as people are respectful everybody's welcome.

00:38:51.270 --> 00:38:56.610 Albert Dabah: yeah you know what I feel funny about when it's called a straight man.

00:39:00.600 --> 00:39:04.560 Albert Dabah: I just feel like a straight man means i'm straight.

00:39:06.750 --> 00:39:13.860 Albert Dabah: Because I feel I don't feel straight in my life i've like all these kinds of circles.

00:39:15.510 --> 00:39:26.760 Albert Dabah: And and i've been open to having talks with gay men all the time, particularly ones that come up to me and say i'm interested in you and I say listen i'm sorry i'm not gay and.

00:39:28.500 --> 00:39:28.950 Albert Dabah: and

00:39:30.120 --> 00:39:33.150 Albert Dabah: But it's a funny name because.

00:39:34.350 --> 00:39:40.080 Albert Dabah: It just you know, like I grew up feeling in my family.

00:39:42.510 --> 00:39:45.480 Albert Dabah: kind of lost and I had to find myself and.

00:39:46.560 --> 00:39:58.200 Albert Dabah: losing a brother and sister to suicide was very tough and my other sister is extremely religious Orthodox Jewish so we're friendly but we're pretty much night and day.

00:39:59.250 --> 00:40:09.330 Albert Dabah: She didn't want to see the movie action and she finally saw it, and never asked me about has its doing or anything like that, and she had some objections to it but.

00:40:10.470 --> 00:40:22.350 Albert Dabah: You know she is who she is I totally understood it, my friend, when I was actually beginning to shoot it she goes don't shoot it someone told me about that your team has already talking about in Union God yeah.

00:40:23.220 --> 00:40:24.300 Albert Dabah: I know that's good.

00:40:26.340 --> 00:40:28.170 Albert Dabah: um and.

00:40:29.520 --> 00:40:43.470 Albert Dabah: But I felt this needs to fit in and was hard for me to fit in anywhere even I grew up in a small Jewish Syrian Jewish community is very tight and my best friends are still from that community.

00:40:44.940 --> 00:40:45.660 Albert Dabah: But.

00:40:48.030 --> 00:40:58.590 Albert Dabah: You know, I was always trying to analyze what's going on in my family and and feeling alone and left out, and I spoke to this old therapist that I saw the other day.

00:40:59.190 --> 00:41:05.760 Albert Dabah: I haven't seen her, and you know virtually in over a year and a half, but I had seen her for like 11 years and.

00:41:06.600 --> 00:41:16.050 Albert Dabah: I had something I wanted to talk to her about and she said something to me like that she had never said before she goes, you were really abandoned by your family because i'm the youngest and.

00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:23.850 Albert Dabah: The orthodox this is five years older than me and the two brothers and sisters that took the Allies with 10 and 12 years older than me.

00:41:24.240 --> 00:41:34.170 Albert Dabah: And she goes, you were basically abandoned by your family, you were left to yourself to you know figure it out and you were really the glue the family.

00:41:34.710 --> 00:41:47.910 Albert Dabah: And I never saw it that way, but, as I mentioned to my friend today, she said you analyze a lot well I grew up having to figure out what was going on in my life in my family.

00:41:48.570 --> 00:41:58.950 Albert Dabah: And there was a lot of love, I used to do a lot of talks when we showed the film before covert and all these different festivals, and I was asked once how did you deal with such a mean father.

00:42:00.120 --> 00:42:06.210 Albert Dabah: And I said to him it's funny how people watch the film and different perceptions and I said I never felt he was mean.

00:42:07.050 --> 00:42:17.970 Albert Dabah: I just felt he you know was all fashion and he had a culture that he came from that he totally believed in I disagree with him, he was extremely stubborn but that's who he was.

00:42:19.470 --> 00:42:28.440 Albert Dabah: And what grounded me and was baseball and that's how I got to make the film calling it extra innings because that.

00:42:28.860 --> 00:42:35.880 Albert Dabah: gave me a grounding of something that my brother not taught me physically but talked about it was the only thing he ever talked to me about.

00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:40.830 Albert Dabah: And I felt connected to it, and when I started playing I was always athletic.

00:42:41.520 --> 00:42:49.800 Albert Dabah: and love playing, and not only love playing I when I started playing outside of my Community you know I played with all ethnic groups.

00:42:50.250 --> 00:43:06.810 Albert Dabah: And I felt special because I went to the zoo a private you know Jewish school, it was all Jewish not Orthodox and mostly and I never forget the best guy the team was this big black guy named out my name is out, and he was they called him big Al.

00:43:08.040 --> 00:43:17.370 Albert Dabah: bigger than me was like six to me through really hard and I felt such a great feeling having a catch with him before every game, we warmed up I you know I.

00:43:18.150 --> 00:43:28.620 Albert Dabah: You know, we found this little friendship together and It made me feel included into something that a game that i'd be gone, we began to love.

00:43:29.160 --> 00:43:35.190 Albert Dabah: And then my dream was to be a baseball player is not unusual for anyone who goes into playing baseball when they're young.

00:43:35.700 --> 00:43:40.590 Albert Dabah: I asked the coach who had on the show the other day I said Jerry who still coaches is bonnie team.

00:43:41.100 --> 00:43:52.650 Albert Dabah: From kids I don't know what their age, they start when they're young and he goes to when they're 2021 I go how many kids come to play with you and June about be a baseball player his answer was every single one.

00:43:53.940 --> 00:43:57.660 Albert Dabah: My question was how do you deal with the fact that they're you know, most of them don't.

00:43:58.470 --> 00:44:07.920 Albert Dabah: and his response was great he goes like what I try he goes they really see that, when they try to get into a college that's a top baseball college when they're getting rejected.

00:44:08.640 --> 00:44:17.100 Albert Dabah: And he always tries to build their confidence up that you know, this is a tough game and very few people make it to the top.

00:44:17.700 --> 00:44:35.040 Albert Dabah: But that doesn't mean you don't try and it helps you in so many other ways and it helped me learn about sportsmanship learn about being with other people, you know whether they're from different religions, different cultures, whether they're gay or not gay whether, whoever they are.

00:44:36.390 --> 00:44:47.730 Albert Dabah: always the guy you know, try to keep an open mind about whoever I meet me obviously you know my friend asked me today if someone says something about me that was true but.

00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:57.840 Albert Dabah: You know, maybe I didn't give it out in the open, would you be upset I said not really I mean i'm pretty much open about stuff unless it was meant to be to hurt me.

00:44:58.890 --> 00:45:08.160 Albert Dabah: If there was a reason but i'm not really I don't feel I mean it might be something that might be embarrassing someone felt or something about me but I don't have any departed secrets.

00:45:08.640 --> 00:45:18.450 Albert Dabah: And that's one of the reasons why I made the movie was because it was important for me to get out what I felt was a secret growing up.

00:45:19.800 --> 00:45:28.800 Albert Dabah: You know, talking about mental illness talking about my brother anyway, we got to take a break and we'll be right back with Lisa Thank you.

00:45:30.330 --> 00:45:33.720 Albert Dabah: you're listening to radio and my see.

00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:53.880 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with Lisa mendocino owner of the cubbyhole one of the three last lesbian bars in New York City.

00:47:56.250 --> 00:48:08.610 Albert Dabah: So Lisa What was it like yesterday with Gay Pride weekend or great pride month and all the celebration, I saw some of the news yesterday it looked like a huge party tell me what was.

00:48:08.670 --> 00:48:09.210 Lisa Menichino: It was.

00:48:09.540 --> 00:48:11.100 Lisa Menichino: It was incredible it was.

00:48:12.240 --> 00:48:20.040 Lisa Menichino: You know, especially after this year, and after not after last year when we didn't have any parade I mean.

00:48:21.630 --> 00:48:22.290 Lisa Menichino: They just.

00:48:23.850 --> 00:48:31.950 Lisa Menichino: They just came out and supported us, I mean we had lines around the block all weekend long and it just.

00:48:32.670 --> 00:48:45.630 Lisa Menichino: After the the struggle of this past year, it just like filled me up with such like wonderment at that how much and and you know what really was incredible is.

00:48:46.440 --> 00:48:55.500 Lisa Menichino: People would wait online they were waiting online some of the Board lounge chairs, because they knew they were going to wait two or three hours to get in was like I said it's a small bar and.

00:48:56.430 --> 00:49:06.480 Lisa Menichino: You know what we call last call around 3:30am and there was still a line, and so you have to go to the end of the line and you see you know what I know you've been waiting a while, but.

00:49:06.930 --> 00:49:14.310 Lisa Menichino: you're probably not going to get in and they were like you care would just going to stay here because they might be a chance we might get in and it was like.

00:49:18.180 --> 00:49:21.690 Albert Dabah: Well, yes it's it's such a great feeling.

00:49:21.780 --> 00:49:29.100 Lisa Menichino: it's such a great feeling so yeah it, it was it was an incredible Gay Pride weekend and Sunday.

00:49:30.210 --> 00:49:41.310 Albert Dabah: yeah that's that's amazing to have a place like that that people feel that way that they want to you know come and congregate and feel at home and feel like a weight social place to be.

00:49:41.730 --> 00:49:51.060 Albert Dabah: I mean no matter what kind of place, it is, but the fact that it's a there's feel so few I mean there's only two other lesbian bars in the city.

00:49:52.230 --> 00:49:56.040 Albert Dabah: For women to be able to go and congregate and feel at home.

00:49:57.870 --> 00:49:59.460 Albert Dabah: I think that's really special.

00:50:00.990 --> 00:50:11.610 Lisa Menichino: yeah and I had not realized until I mean I always knew it was special and it meant a lot to people, but when I was closed, and you know, trying to figure it out how is going to reopen.

00:50:12.150 --> 00:50:18.360 Lisa Menichino: You know, I was starting to get all these messages about how many of these people actually.

00:50:18.900 --> 00:50:25.050 Lisa Menichino: celebrated milestones in their lives there, I would say, you know I I met my husband, I met my wife there, I met my.

00:50:25.620 --> 00:50:34.890 Lisa Menichino: You know I had my first kiss there I came out there, I had yeah my it was last place we went before my partner died, I mean all these really heart wrenching touching.

00:50:35.430 --> 00:50:46.650 Lisa Menichino: Things and like you know, offering their support and like you have to reopen you have to like it almost the boron was transcends it's edifice for so many people.

00:50:47.160 --> 00:50:55.230 Lisa Menichino: there's an emotional connection it's a magical place and I don't just say that because I I own it and I love it, but it truly is for a lot of people that really.

00:50:55.440 --> 00:51:03.240 Albert Dabah: yeah I definitely get that feeling from you, and I think that it's I mean mark is your uncle.

00:51:03.630 --> 00:51:05.730 Lisa Menichino: Yes, yes, married to my friend.

00:51:06.210 --> 00:51:09.570 Albert Dabah: Okay, so mark, who I played baseball with.

00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:17.520 Albert Dabah: On is recommended you for the show and that's how I met you I feel it's great to have a place like that.

00:51:19.140 --> 00:51:25.020 Albert Dabah: You know, whatever place, it is the fact that it's a lesbian bar is one thing it's great but.

00:51:25.290 --> 00:51:29.340 Albert Dabah: You know anytime you there's a place that people can feel that kind of warmth and.

00:51:29.550 --> 00:51:38.940 Albert Dabah: And and loving about it to have their first this their their first that they're on and it doesn't make it special that is a lesbian bar because.

00:51:39.990 --> 00:51:56.790 Albert Dabah: You know there's such there's such discrimination about so many things in this world, and it all it almost seems like a grow is not to be negative about it, but there just seems to be maybe it's not growing but.

00:51:58.200 --> 00:52:03.600 Albert Dabah: i'm not a trump fan with the age of trump there was so much diversity going on.

00:52:03.930 --> 00:52:04.140 and

00:52:05.370 --> 00:52:07.620 Albert Dabah: You know the guy still thinks he won the election.

00:52:07.710 --> 00:52:19.320 Lisa Menichino: I know I you know yeah I mean you're kind of living in New York, you kind of get cocooned sort of in this little progressive enclave, and you forget, I think.

00:52:19.980 --> 00:52:30.600 Lisa Menichino: The rest of the world out there and and just how much it is still a struggle for so many people who don't live, you know, on the coasts and how difficult it still is for them.

00:52:30.780 --> 00:52:34.860 Albert Dabah: yeah there were there was a piece that I saw on the news last night about transgenders who.

00:52:34.890 --> 00:52:42.720 Albert Dabah: Coming from different and how they feel safe here at one of the homes, they were talking about and.

00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:53.220 Albert Dabah: You know I mean New York is a special place, I mean it's obviously known for a place like a melting pot, I remember growing up and always in a melting pot of people, and it really is.

00:52:53.610 --> 00:52:59.430 Albert Dabah: And I think that's what makes it real special I don't live in the city, I did live in the city for about 10 years.

00:52:59.850 --> 00:53:05.640 Albert Dabah: I love living there, and I know how you feel about you could feel alone like because I knew, some people in the building, but not that many.

00:53:06.300 --> 00:53:18.390 Albert Dabah: But um you know I had some friends, and you know I had a girlfriend for a while there, and you know you became a great home for me and then my my daughter's move there they don't move there now they live in Los Angeles.

00:53:19.260 --> 00:53:29.760 Albert Dabah: My son moved there and now he lives in Fort lauderdale but I live there with my ex wife for one or two years and then we moved out to the suburbs and eight kids.

00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:38.820 Albert Dabah: But my office is there is almost 29 street, but because of coven you know I only go there once, twice a week and i'm you know, in the midst of.

00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:48.150 Albert Dabah: deciding whether to renew my lease and when i'm going to do with the place and all that but um I think that what you have, there is a gem.

00:53:48.660 --> 00:53:59.610 Albert Dabah: To the word that I think is a very special word, because any place that people can come and feel so warm and welcome and have their first, whatever their.

00:54:00.060 --> 00:54:12.450 Albert Dabah: or their last whatever there is a special place and I think the fact that there's only three in the whole New York City is quite astounding because there's so many people city.

00:54:12.870 --> 00:54:20.970 Lisa Menichino: I know yeah it's it's it's crazy it truly is and just to add about the connection with with cubby.

00:54:23.280 --> 00:54:28.290 Lisa Menichino: I hadn't like so many volunteers like we have our outdoor seating and that was built by our.

00:54:29.010 --> 00:54:35.310 Lisa Menichino: Regular, who was a carpenter and she got five of her lesbian carpenter friends and they built me this structure beautiful.

00:54:35.580 --> 00:54:45.900 Lisa Menichino: I had an artist who wrote to me who wanted to paint it so that it looked like it might have painted flowers on the window cubby they wanted to paint the outdoor seating so that resembled that and then.

00:54:46.410 --> 00:54:53.640 Lisa Menichino: I had another person that was a plant designer and she wanted to volunteer to make the ceiling, the things hanging from the ceiling hanging the little just.

00:54:54.270 --> 00:55:04.770 Lisa Menichino: it's just it's such a great place it means a lot to to a lot of people ended the other, you know I don't want to henrietta's is the other lesbian board henrietta's in gingers.

00:55:05.880 --> 00:55:06.210 Lisa Menichino: and

00:55:07.290 --> 00:55:09.030 Lisa Menichino: You know they're an important.

00:55:11.310 --> 00:55:12.450 Lisa Menichino: Sad they're important.

00:55:14.040 --> 00:55:27.360 Lisa Menichino: Historical places where i'm sure you know, the equally there's a lot of people connected to them, maybe i'm a little different way than there, they are with them cubbyhole because they're bigger they're more like a dance place and that sort of thing.

00:55:28.470 --> 00:55:30.780 Lisa Menichino: So, but you know.

00:55:32.670 --> 00:55:35.580 Lisa Menichino: I was the only one that was able to open.

00:55:37.350 --> 00:55:40.380 Lisa Menichino: Last summer, Henry it has just recently opened.

00:55:42.030 --> 00:55:48.600 Lisa Menichino: And the third one gingers has yet to reopen so you know it's tough.

00:55:49.980 --> 00:55:50.340 Albert Dabah: well.

00:55:50.550 --> 00:55:59.250 Albert Dabah: I want to say something that you need to have so much passion for the place and i'm sure people pick that up all the time and warmth about it.

00:55:59.730 --> 00:56:18.240 Albert Dabah: And that makes a big difference, you know owning whatever you own particularly a bar I would think and it's you know, the fact that it's a lesbian bar, which is you know, not the largest part part of a population, but you, but other people can come I would love to this night.

00:56:18.600 --> 00:56:19.650 Lisa Menichino: You have to come.

00:56:22.440 --> 00:56:35.040 Albert Dabah: You know, come and say hi visit because it sounds like you've done a great job there, and you know, maybe just let let everyone know exactly where it is so they can visit.

00:56:35.340 --> 00:56:40.680 Lisa Menichino: To 81 West fifth street it's between Greenwich avenue and West fourth.

00:56:41.250 --> 00:56:53.340 Albert Dabah: Okay, great so you all heard that and I want to end by just saying thank you so much for being on the show tonight, I remind everybody that extra innings the movie.

00:56:53.730 --> 00:57:05.610 Albert Dabah: That I made is on Amazon prime Please see it when you have a chance, it really is about family and love and how to find your own way and.

00:57:06.420 --> 00:57:17.460 Albert Dabah: And if you like it or even if you don't like it, you can rate it because it helps to get good ratings or ratings anyway Thank you so much Lisa for being on the show tonight.

00:57:17.760 --> 00:57:18.750 Lisa Menichino: Thank you for having me.

00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:19.320 today.

00:57:20.490 --> 00:57:21.870 Albert Dabah: All right, well, thank you.

download this episode of