We each have our own journey to discover and claim the fullness of who God made us to be. Join us as we explore the courage, fortitude, persistence, faith and trust to remain and claim all of what and who we might discover, meet and accept.
Our guest this week is Brian Belovitch who is an author, activist, actor, playwright and producer of various theatrical productions including his groundbreaking Off-Broadway play: BOYS DON'T WEAR LIPSTICK honored with a GLAAD nomination. Author of "TRANS FIGURED", published in 2018, he was named one of the 50 most influential LGBTQ authors of all time by Barnes and Noble. As a long-term survivor of HIV, Brian lives proudly as a beautiful, loving gay man with his husband in Huntington, N.Y.
Tune in for this philosophical conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.
The episode starts with an introduction to tonight’s special guest: Brian Belovitch. After introducing and highlighting Brian’s achievements and who he is, the hosts talk about his book, “Transfigured” which delves into many deep and personal moments of his life and his journey. Brian talks about his journey from boy to girl to woman to man, going back to his family and his journey of acceptance.
Coming back from the break, Brian speaks more about particular parts of his book. He talks about his influences growing up and how he felt like he fitted in with a group of trans women. Though he had a confusing journey to figure himself out, he came to strongly believe in being accepting and loving, without forcing your ideas onto others. Brian explains gender fluidity with his own experience as he re-transitioned back to male. He talks about what it meant to be male to himself and how he came to realize that he is both masculine and feminine. He explains how he had reexamined his childhood and all the events that led him to where he is today, and he encourages the audience to take a look into their own dark times because that is where they will find the most help and healing.
The hosts bring up the importance of the parents role in a child’s road to finding themselves and self acceptance. Brian talks about how important it is to be self aware and to understand your inner self. He emphasizes that the outer beauty and things do not matter as much if your inner self is still lost and not at peace. Brian talks about faith, especially his faith that everything will be okay, by telling personal stories and moments that led him to learn how to have faith.
The last segment starts off with Brian telling a touching story from a panel he did. Brian reminds the audience that they aren’t alone and that there are others who understand and go through the same or similar struggles. He talks about how society has become more accepting of the LGBQT community. The show ends with a touching prayer.
00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:50.130 Georgeann Dau: Good evening and welcome to a journey through into awareness, for those of you that tune in each week we say hi.
00:00:50.850 --> 00:00:59.610 Georgeann Dau: And to those of you that are new to us, we say thanks, we say thanks to you, to that come in every week, of course, but we're just always so grateful to those that.
00:01:00.150 --> 00:01:21.390 Georgeann Dau: are interested enough to tune in because that lets us know that we are focusing in on topics that make a difference in your life and bringing on guests that touches somewhere inside in the places that only you and God know that you need so we're grateful for that.
00:01:22.890 --> 00:01:24.480 Georgeann Dau: i'm Dr George and dal.
00:01:25.590 --> 00:01:37.980 Georgeann Dau: and your host Judy Miller and myself are here tonight with you and we have an incredible wonderful person with us tonight.
00:01:38.580 --> 00:01:56.190 Georgeann Dau: Who i'm just so fortunate because he's also my neighbor and he wrote an incredible book that i'm going to introduce in a moment, but before I do, I just want to mention that Brian is beyond talented and gifted we all have gifts.
00:01:57.420 --> 00:02:03.510 Georgeann Dau: i'm going to mention a few of his he's an author and actor and activist.
00:02:05.550 --> 00:02:06.690 Georgeann Dau: He lives in New York.
00:02:08.760 --> 00:02:13.920 Georgeann Dau: He has a very broad and gender related career.
00:02:15.060 --> 00:02:25.260 Georgeann Dau: He was featured guest on the moth storytelling hour on npr relating a story from his recently published memoir.
00:02:26.310 --> 00:02:43.560 Georgeann Dau: transfigured my journey from boy to girl to women to men published in 2018 he has appeared on New York stages for more than three decades in various the theatrical incarnations.
00:02:44.430 --> 00:02:55.410 Georgeann Dau: is less appearances Alice his first of the lady earth in the critically acclaimed production of conquest of the universe in.
00:02:56.760 --> 00:03:04.320 Georgeann Dau: Brian was a recipient of the actor Award for writing that is given annually to the east village.
00:03:05.370 --> 00:03:25.320 Georgeann Dau: He also created and was honored in a boys don't wear lipstick 2000 gla ad glad nominee and one he's just so besides, all of this, I could go on and on there's a couple of pages here.
00:03:26.340 --> 00:03:38.130 Georgeann Dau: Before I go on and on, I just have to say, besides all of that he's an incredible person and it's our honor tonight to have with us, Brian.
00:03:39.300 --> 00:03:42.960 Georgeann Dau: bell of itch below bitch did I say that right.
00:03:43.410 --> 00:03:43.830 Brian Belovitch: Out of the.
00:03:44.280 --> 00:03:49.410 Georgeann Dau: belle of it hi Brian Thank you so much for joining us tonight.
00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:53.340 Brian Belovitch: Thank you, thank you for having me hi Judy.
00:03:53.730 --> 00:03:55.860 Judi Miller: hi Brian it's an honor to have you here.
00:03:58.440 --> 00:04:02.130 Georgeann Dau: So I I have really been enjoying your book and.
00:04:04.290 --> 00:04:08.280 Georgeann Dau: i'm just so moved by it, not only is an incredibly great read.
00:04:09.480 --> 00:04:16.620 Georgeann Dau: But it is so informative about a lifestyle that I think people really don't understand.
00:04:17.910 --> 00:04:23.400 Georgeann Dau: And i'm so happy that you said yes to be on the show to maybe talk a little bit about that.
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:33.900 Georgeann Dau: There was something that you said in your first chapter and as an analyst psychoanalyst it really grabbed me because I know that.
00:04:34.710 --> 00:04:42.540 Georgeann Dau: Well, so much grabbed me, but I know that most of our development in our psyche comes from our time in the womb.
00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:58.080 Georgeann Dau: And not only do we take on our own experience of the womb, but we take on the experience of the mother whose moment is and you said in the first chapter, the from the time mom was carrying you she always wanted a girl.
00:05:00.510 --> 00:05:22.950 Georgeann Dau: And that, when I set out lab and I read that what I said and there, it says it all and there, it says it all your relationship with her was so tumultuous and just so difficult Brian lot of trauma I was so sorry to to read about that.
00:05:24.630 --> 00:05:26.970 Georgeann Dau: And it was really not so much about.
00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:28.800 Georgeann Dau: Your.
00:05:29.820 --> 00:05:33.090 Georgeann Dau: coming into your own sexuality.
00:05:34.410 --> 00:05:38.520 Georgeann Dau: But it is it's applicable to anyone listening.
00:05:41.340 --> 00:05:47.310 Georgeann Dau: Non gender specific because it was really about a lack of acceptance.
00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:59.340 Georgeann Dau: To who we are, as children who you were who Judy was why was we all have had that experience somewhere along the line in our upbringing um.
00:06:00.360 --> 00:06:03.060 Georgeann Dau: You want to talk a little bit about how you dealt with that Brian.
00:06:05.760 --> 00:06:26.670 Brian Belovitch: Well, you make a very good point I am I I I almost feel like I have some kind of memory of of of experiencing that in the womb like this the sense that you know, and even in birth, you know there's always there was always a sort of overbearing sort of feeling like.
00:06:27.750 --> 00:06:39.630 Brian Belovitch: You know, somehow I wasn't the right choice or I wasn't I didn't come out the way it was supposed to and it felt like a disappointment, so that early childhood.
00:06:40.410 --> 00:06:58.740 Brian Belovitch: feeling of like you're like you're you're a mistake, or you like disappointed or let my mom down or you know I never I never I can't tell you how many times, I heard the story of you know, in this time it was going to be a girl, you know, and I don't think that we really.
00:06:59.760 --> 00:07:07.890 Brian Belovitch: Well, maybe we do a little bit more now talk more about that as as future power into expecting moms you know.
00:07:08.940 --> 00:07:19.950 Brian Belovitch: That pressure of you know, knowing you know for deciding before the the the the baby is born what gender you want it to be.
00:07:20.430 --> 00:07:35.310 Brian Belovitch: I I think that's an interesting topic for another show but yeah I mean how I dealt with it, I didn't really deal with it, I guess you know early on, I I developed coping mechanisms that were unhealthy.
00:07:37.020 --> 00:07:56.310 Brian Belovitch: And you know as soon as I was old enough to you know act out on them, I did so, you know I think I think that's the way that I sort of got through you know I I I tend to be an optimistic person I wrote, I wrote a little bit about like how I think in that same chapter about how.
00:07:57.810 --> 00:08:15.180 Brian Belovitch: I thought it was great that I felt so different and that I was creative and I was precocious and I was funny and I was you know I felt like you know, like, I was very different from my siblings and it was only until later in life that that was turned against me.
00:08:16.290 --> 00:08:34.170 Brian Belovitch: By outside influences that made me internalize a lot of shame about my difference, rather than like you said embracing our children embracing a child, for everything that they are yes.
00:08:34.590 --> 00:08:44.730 Judi Miller: So, Brian Brian for the listeners who aren't familiar with your story, can you just give us a brief overview of how you went from boy to girl to woman to man.
00:08:45.030 --> 00:08:54.660 Brian Belovitch: Oh sure absolutely yes um well my my book, is that you know it's a memoir and and I wrote it about my experience know growing up in a.
00:08:55.800 --> 00:09:05.040 Brian Belovitch: You know, pretty you know barely working class family in fall river Massachusetts and then later on Providence Rhode island i'm one of seven.
00:09:05.580 --> 00:09:18.870 Brian Belovitch: Children I have five brothers and one sister, and you know if you were put it to put us all together, we we you know you, you would see the obvious differences right away because all my brothers.
00:09:19.470 --> 00:09:36.900 Brian Belovitch: were like six foot four six foot five athletic muscular a big strong strapping men, and you know I kind of took on more the carrot my mom was a very strong stout sort of you know, broad shoulders very, very.
00:09:39.600 --> 00:09:46.890 Brian Belovitch: Strong woman to raise seven kids as a single mom in the 60s and 70s and she was pretty tough.
00:09:48.210 --> 00:10:12.600 Brian Belovitch: But you know, compared to my brothers, I always sort of fell short bit short physically and so on, very early on, I started to get this idea that you know the gender I was born or assigned, and you know the correct term is the gender I was assigned at birth, which was male was not.
00:10:13.800 --> 00:10:14.460 Brian Belovitch: Correct.
00:10:15.480 --> 00:10:31.230 Brian Belovitch: And so I very early on, I learned how to you know sort of internalize those messages from outside of myself and when I was old enough to act out on it, I began to transition from my male.
00:10:32.670 --> 00:10:33.510 Brian Belovitch: assigned male.
00:10:34.830 --> 00:10:45.210 Brian Belovitch: Identity at birth to female and I did it at a very young age at the age of like 16 I started dressing up and running away from home and eventually I.
00:10:45.750 --> 00:11:09.870 Brian Belovitch: You know, took hormones and got breasts and change my identity and lived as as as a trans woman for almost 15 years, and this was in the 70s and 80s, when you know it was it was I mean it's difficult now, and I would say it's probably a lot easier now than it was back then.
00:11:10.230 --> 00:11:11.760 Georgeann Dau: It wasn't possible but that.
00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.530 Brian Belovitch: was impossible and so.
00:11:14.550 --> 00:11:33.480 Brian Belovitch: After many attempts at trying to find some sense of acceptance around my gender identity and there's a whole other string of events that you know it's not it's never one thing i've said this a million times like well what happened that made you want to decide.
00:11:33.510 --> 00:11:33.780 Georgeann Dau: To.
00:11:33.870 --> 00:11:37.500 Brian Belovitch: The transition back to mail, so I that's what I did yeah.
00:11:38.250 --> 00:11:46.260 Georgeann Dau: I i'm sorry Brian go ahead, I wanted to i'm glad you asked that because I wanted to start the show with you know.
00:11:47.340 --> 00:12:00.690 Georgeann Dau: That our show is always about where everyone can get something out of it so for those listening, whether you are homosexual gay, lesbian know someone who is if you're not.
00:12:01.170 --> 00:12:12.390 Georgeann Dau: You know the wounding that is in brian's book has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with dysfunction and we all have some dysfunction.
00:12:12.810 --> 00:12:18.600 Georgeann Dau: In our families, so I wanted to just start with that because I didn't want to come across it all.
00:12:18.900 --> 00:12:29.760 Georgeann Dau: That the any dysfunction that we look at was a was the reason of the cause for brian's choice of his gender that couldn't be further from the truth, the truth.
00:12:30.420 --> 00:12:38.940 Georgeann Dau: But what I did find in reading your book and I can't wait to continue it which it's on audible also which I didn't know which I would have loved to have known.
00:12:40.980 --> 00:12:50.850 Georgeann Dau: That I just i'm wondering if you hadn't met the group of women that you did that were cross dressers and true.
00:12:52.500 --> 00:13:03.510 Georgeann Dau: That were they really were the ones that took you in and loved you and made you feel accepted, I wonder, I was just wondering when I was reading if you would have wanted to go towards the dressing.
00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:13.680 Georgeann Dau: because up until that point I didn't get that you were like trying on women's clothes or doing anything like that I was brought up with a boy who would do that with me.
00:13:14.880 --> 00:13:23.520 Georgeann Dau: And we used to play dolls and he would dress up and never thought anything of it, you know it's just who he was so I was just wondering if you think that made it.
00:13:25.470 --> 00:13:27.840 Georgeann Dau: had an impact on your choice to.
00:13:29.430 --> 00:13:31.620 Georgeann Dau: be one to desire to dress.
00:13:32.790 --> 00:13:37.440 Brian Belovitch: I think it had more to do with acceptance like finding a tribe and sort of.
00:13:37.830 --> 00:13:38.670 Georgeann Dau: that's what I mean.
00:13:38.820 --> 00:13:41.430 Brian Belovitch: feeling free and able to.
00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:46.650 Brian Belovitch: able to express myself and whatever gender presentation I.
00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:48.570 Georgeann Dau: Yes.
00:13:49.080 --> 00:13:52.560 Brian Belovitch: experimenting with, and I think that you know.
00:13:53.670 --> 00:13:56.520 Brian Belovitch: there's so much that happens in our early development.
00:13:57.810 --> 00:14:05.640 Brian Belovitch: That is sort of like foreshadowing of what's to come in late and your adult you know teenage.
00:14:05.760 --> 00:14:16.260 Georgeann Dau: years without question it's always there and and I know and I had mentioned that earlier because we're going to take a break, now that you are moving on to your master's degree in.
00:14:18.270 --> 00:14:26.550 Georgeann Dau: psychotherapy and drug and alcohol addiction and you you're going to be so perfectly fit for that it's just you're going to be so terrific added so.
00:14:27.030 --> 00:14:36.870 Georgeann Dau: we'll be right back with Brian bell a bitch i'm we're looking forward to having you come back and join us tonight, this is a journey through into awareness we'll be right back.
00:17:10.710 --> 00:17:11.520 Georgeann Dau: hi welcome back.
00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:16.950 Georgeann Dau: To the journey through into awareness we're here tonight with Brian bell.
00:17:18.150 --> 00:17:40.260 Georgeann Dau: So um yeah so Brian we were talking about that it was the group of women when you found the tribe that accepted you just for who Brian was and that they were very beautiful and into dressing and flamboyant and all of that and that's sort of when you began finding that interesting.
00:17:41.580 --> 00:17:43.350 Georgeann Dau: Do I have that right, would you say that's right.
00:17:44.100 --> 00:18:04.710 Brian Belovitch: yeah yeah I think that you know I mean that was sort of the first time that I felt like I belonged somewhere, you know we were talking a little bit about you know growing up in a family of you know sort of mostly heterosexual boys and i'm you know very macho very you know.
00:18:05.940 --> 00:18:22.980 Brian Belovitch: alpha male personalities and you know as time went on, you know I always sort of felt like I never really fit in, and you know so going from feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere to finding this amazing group of.
00:18:23.610 --> 00:18:34.260 Brian Belovitch: You know, it was a very mixed group of of women that were trend gender that were you know dressing and drag just for drags sake, you know they weren't you know doing.
00:18:34.740 --> 00:18:52.980 Brian Belovitch: Any like hormones, or you know it's mostly performance for the drag Queens and they were you know lesbian women, and you know other gay man, so it was you know, it was very you know it felt very safe to be able to you know explore my.
00:18:54.300 --> 00:19:03.270 Brian Belovitch: You know identity, I was also very young and I was very pretty, and so it was an easy transition from you know male to female which.
00:19:05.400 --> 00:19:20.190 Brian Belovitch: You know, I think, starting at such a young age, was an advantage um that you know, some people might not get get to have some people come to their gender identity later in life.
00:19:21.300 --> 00:19:26.550 Brian Belovitch: And I guess, for me it was, I guess, I guess, I don't know, I guess, I was lucky in a way that.
00:19:26.910 --> 00:19:36.150 Georgeann Dau: That wasn't for me, so I agree with you you're very brave you were very brave back then to step out from the family.
00:19:36.570 --> 00:19:41.850 Georgeann Dau: is very hard, even if there's abuse it's very hard for people to walk away from their family.
00:19:42.570 --> 00:19:49.230 Georgeann Dau: that's why people have a hard time leaving bad marriages, but you were very brave to do that and to miss them.
00:19:49.650 --> 00:20:01.680 Georgeann Dau: And to feel the heartbreak when you thought you were going to go back to your father and then he shipped you back to your mother and the and the inconsistency, just so painful really painful i'm sorry Judy get.
00:20:02.280 --> 00:20:08.520 Judi Miller: Now I was just going to comment you know, Brian said that he really just wanted to be accepted for who he was exactly as he was.
00:20:08.670 --> 00:20:09.420 Georgeann Dau: Yes, and.
00:20:09.570 --> 00:20:18.210 Judi Miller: Even though it may not be gender Brian do you think a lot of people struggle with the same thing wanting to be accepted for who they are exactly as they are.
00:20:18.450 --> 00:20:27.000 Brian Belovitch: Oh absolutely I think I think that you know we're we're we're coming to a new consciousness around that idea that.
00:20:27.780 --> 00:20:36.300 Brian Belovitch: You know, you know people ask me all the time well what would you say to kids or what would you say to parents and you know, like like on some self proclaimed.
00:20:37.140 --> 00:20:58.320 Brian Belovitch: expert on gender, and I say to them all the time, I say just accept and love your children and great at whatever they decide to do, whether they're gay straight trans by you know you know what it whatever you know question you know there's so many letters in the in the LGBT Q.
00:20:59.370 --> 00:20:59.880 Georgeann Dau: yeah.
00:21:00.060 --> 00:21:13.200 Brian Belovitch: monogram now it's it's it can be confusing for some people, but, but just I find acceptance and love the old even the older I get you know serves me so much.
00:21:14.250 --> 00:21:18.000 Brian Belovitch: better than you know, trying to.
00:21:19.320 --> 00:21:20.430 Brian Belovitch: You know, put my.
00:21:22.230 --> 00:21:26.340 Brian Belovitch: Opinions or my ideas on to people, you know.
00:21:26.370 --> 00:21:42.240 Brian Belovitch: Just judgments judgment that's the word I was looking for judgment, you know it's you know if we just accepted each other and love each other as individuals that are very different in many, many ways racially ethnically and culturally yeah.
00:21:44.250 --> 00:21:53.340 Brian Belovitch: You know, I think that we would be much better off, you know I mean it's it's a Utopian idea, but I think that it's not impossible to.
00:21:55.080 --> 00:22:05.430 Judi Miller: Definitely a beautiful thing for all of us to strive for and Brian one of the things that you said is, we all have male and female traits so, can you explain to us with gender fluidity means.
00:22:06.600 --> 00:22:23.640 Brian Belovitch: Well, that was really fascinating to me when I mean I, I guess, I was kind of you know, when I read transition back to mail in 1987 and, at the time, I had a therapist that I work with and I took a really deep dive into.
00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:33.390 Brian Belovitch: You know, trying to understand why I did the things that I did, and like what was female what did that mean to me.
00:22:34.170 --> 00:22:41.310 Brian Belovitch: What did being male mean to me i've never given any way or any consideration to any kind of that.
00:22:42.120 --> 00:22:50.850 Brian Belovitch: You know when you're making a decision like this about changing your identity, you want, where you want to try to have as much information and examine it.
00:22:51.570 --> 00:23:03.450 Brian Belovitch: In so many different possible you know situations and I never had anyone do that with me, so it was really fascinating when I started to really look at my own.
00:23:03.960 --> 00:23:24.030 Brian Belovitch: idea and my own perception of what what was masculine feminine to me, was it that to me and I found a way, this you know, maybe I don't know if anyone else has had this experience, but I came to a really great place of acceptance around.
00:23:25.410 --> 00:23:43.890 Brian Belovitch: Both aspects of my personality, I think, and that's what I met when I wrote about like you know we both have both masculine and feminine drape and some people are more masculine and some people are more feminine but for folks that are sort of in the buy in the gender non conforming.
00:23:45.120 --> 00:23:48.690 Brian Belovitch: lane or or you know choice.
00:23:49.950 --> 00:23:55.260 Brian Belovitch: they're you know they're more fluid they're much more comfortable with like you know.
00:23:56.340 --> 00:24:14.700 Brian Belovitch: which I kind of am to i'm kind of in the middle on that you know I mean, I guess, I had I had to do it all over again, maybe I would just be a gender fluid person today, as opposed to like this new category that I came up with myself as a SIS gender gay male of trans experience.
00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:16.740 Georgeann Dau: that's.
00:24:16.830 --> 00:24:18.930 Brian Belovitch: kind of my new that's my new category.
00:24:22.470 --> 00:24:30.720 Brian Belovitch: And you know a lot of a lot of you know a lot of my generation, you know we lost a lot of my generation to during the AIDS epidemic and.
00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:42.120 Brian Belovitch: You know, while my story is quite unique in many ways, I do know that there were a lot of men of my generation that struggled with this finding this.
00:24:42.630 --> 00:24:57.570 Brian Belovitch: You know balance of you know where they fit in along the spectrum of masculinity and femininity feminine you know I think we would have a lot more stories about people's struggles with that.
00:24:58.050 --> 00:24:58.800 Georgeann Dau: Oh sure.
00:24:59.730 --> 00:25:01.980 Brian Belovitch: Had we not lost a whole generation of.
00:25:03.120 --> 00:25:05.250 You know gay men most men.
00:25:06.300 --> 00:25:08.190 Brian Belovitch: To you know, to the AIDS epidemic.
00:25:10.530 --> 00:25:12.060 Georgeann Dau: You know what a good Judy.
00:25:12.270 --> 00:25:23.760 Judi Miller: I was gonna say Brian so many of us struggle to find who we are, at our core and based on the amazing experiences that you have do you have any recommendations or suggestions for people.
00:25:25.890 --> 00:25:34.590 Brian Belovitch: I kind of thought you might yes me that I mean I was when we were driving back from the ferry today, we were listening to a.
00:25:35.670 --> 00:25:40.680 Brian Belovitch: podcast I don't know if it was a podcast or it was a documentary.
00:25:42.900 --> 00:25:56.940 Brian Belovitch: clip of gabor Mattei, who was a trauma trauma therapist and you know, I think that, until people are really able to delve into.
00:25:57.810 --> 00:26:11.760 Brian Belovitch: Things in their past and there you know get to the root and i've done a lot, obviously I mean I didn't just wake up one day and color light and they're like you know, like oh God, I know what's going on, I did a lot of work around.
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:21.540 Brian Belovitch: Like estrogen mentioned, you know the womb, the wounding you know, the destruction of my my childhood, the loss of my innocence.
00:26:22.320 --> 00:26:36.570 Brian Belovitch: The loss of my family that the physical you know trauma of being a survivor of child abuse and sexual abuse, all this, I would not be here today, if I had not taken a very.
00:26:37.650 --> 00:26:47.880 Brian Belovitch: You know hard very difficult look at some of those core issues, so I think for for our audience of people that are listening anyone struggling with that and.
00:26:48.480 --> 00:27:02.940 Brian Belovitch: You know, I would just encourage them to not be afraid to look to go to the dark place you know go to the place that hurts the most yes and that's where you will find the most healing yes.
00:27:03.630 --> 00:27:16.290 Brian Belovitch: You know, really, and I and and George and you know, thank you for mentioning my mind my masters in mental health constantly because this is work that i've already started to do i've started to already work with some folks.
00:27:16.320 --> 00:27:23.970 Brian Belovitch: Around your identity and trauma so it's kind of the path that sort of you know, third act in my life.
00:27:25.140 --> 00:27:26.370 Brian Belovitch: sort of going down.
00:27:26.790 --> 00:27:36.300 Georgeann Dau: yep, and the reason that you know I had said, you know you're fabulous at it and will be great at, it is because we have to do our own work.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:48.900 Georgeann Dau: We have to have had done our own work period and I, you know you know talking about the importance of going into the pain and the wound.
00:27:49.320 --> 00:28:02.790 Georgeann Dau: people think that we think that if we don't do that then we don't have to deal with what's there, but the reality is we go through life with it gripping onto our ankles.
00:28:04.410 --> 00:28:15.630 Georgeann Dau: Everything that hurts that we don't want to face and we're just dragging it along in life, we are never ever free of it, how do we know that, because it gets acted out in our life.
00:28:16.230 --> 00:28:28.590 Georgeann Dau: Especially in our most intimate relationships those those of you listening, if you struggle with intimate relationships know that there is a history of.
00:28:29.730 --> 00:28:30.990 Georgeann Dau: pain and.
00:28:33.090 --> 00:28:52.080 Georgeann Dau: Deep upset that is not being dealt with within yourself, because every poor relationship, just like every great relationship wherever there's a wound with his two people involved there's always both involved in the relationship getting entangled in this room.
00:28:53.190 --> 00:28:56.040 Georgeann Dau: So we'll be right back with Brian bell.
00:28:57.870 --> 00:29:05.250 Georgeann Dau: Judy Miller and up to George and down, and this is a journey through into awareness thanks for joining us tonight we'll be right back.
00:31:58.050 --> 00:32:05.280 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back to the journey through with brilliant TV tonight and i'm you know, one of the things before.
00:32:06.930 --> 00:32:16.740 Georgeann Dau: We go on, I just want to mention that it was so important for me to have you on the show, also because I know that there's a lot of folks that.
00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:19.140 Georgeann Dau: sort of.
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:26.370 Georgeann Dau: what's the word i'm looking for they kind of join together um.
00:32:27.390 --> 00:32:33.420 Georgeann Dau: Inappropriate sex with homosexuality and that's not.
00:32:35.430 --> 00:32:47.340 Georgeann Dau: that's not a point at all inappropriate sex is inappropriate sex and that's goes for anyone or anything if they choose to do that, but um it has nothing to do with.
00:32:48.000 --> 00:33:04.980 Georgeann Dau: homosexuality, more so than anything else um you know, Brian hopefully you'll read this book it's just incredible I just i'm really picky about the books I choose to spend my time with because I have so little of it in this book just moves me um.
00:33:06.180 --> 00:33:21.960 Georgeann Dau: he's so raw and honest about right Brian you so RON honest about the trauma and the depth of feelings that is so well written um you know the depth of feelings you add with all of it, it just really took my heart and breath away it truly did.
00:33:23.850 --> 00:33:27.810 Georgeann Dau: And you were just always looking for love and acceptance like we all are.
00:33:28.860 --> 00:33:29.880 Georgeann Dau: Like we all are.
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:32.400 Georgeann Dau: myself included.
00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:50.820 Georgeann Dau: You know i've had a long journey of psychoanalysis many, many years i'll always be in treatment, everyone should be the whole world should be, because if we're not we're running away from our shadow did you ever try to run away from your shadow think about that for a month is.
00:33:51.750 --> 00:33:59.070 Judi Miller: This is Brian just to follow both what georgiana's saying you know we talked about you know the difficult childhood that you had.
00:33:59.370 --> 00:34:11.220 Judi Miller: But you ultimately realized that your parents did love you, even if they couldn't express it in the way that you needed, so I believe that so many parents just don't know how to show the love and accept.
00:34:11.220 --> 00:34:14.130 Georgeann Dau: Absolute children and loving unconditionally.
00:34:14.340 --> 00:34:18.150 Judi Miller: But it does not mean that the child is unlovable that's right.
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:32.250 Georgeann Dau: that's true but we always have to recognize that the child has never experienced that needs to be worked through, it has to be worked through before the child now adult can realize that they were loved.
00:34:33.390 --> 00:34:36.810 Georgeann Dau: And the parents are only passing along with how they were treated.
00:34:40.080 --> 00:34:44.850 Georgeann Dau: At what stage did you really connect with your mom and dad's love of you.
00:34:47.520 --> 00:34:50.730 Brian Belovitch: It wasn't until really later in life yeah.
00:34:51.750 --> 00:34:52.950 Georgeann Dau: When you did your work.
00:34:53.100 --> 00:34:59.070 Brian Belovitch: yeah wasn't until I found my own acceptance and peace within myself.
00:34:59.280 --> 00:34:59.640 Georgeann Dau: yeah.
00:34:59.970 --> 00:35:00.870 You know that.
00:35:02.460 --> 00:35:13.320 Brian Belovitch: You know when you're broken, and you have to sort of put it's like a doll like a rag doll being ripped apart it's sort of like putting yourself back together.
00:35:13.830 --> 00:35:36.390 Brian Belovitch: piece by piece until you feel whole and and connected, so it wasn't until many years later, actually in my in my 30s and I started doing this work and I started to look at my what you know my cart and things were and what you know what.
00:35:37.410 --> 00:35:53.280 Brian Belovitch: You know what I had control of, and what I didn't have control, and you know, changing the narrative of you know this, you know from from the victim perspective, as opposed to like you know, again I keep going back to this this this.
00:35:54.360 --> 00:36:05.670 Brian Belovitch: documentary that we saw on the way home, you know there's there's we can change the narrative we, in the same way that you know you can change our.
00:36:06.450 --> 00:36:18.450 Brian Belovitch: clothes, you know we can we make I I I decide how I want my life to be today and it's not up to like anyone else to dictate.
00:36:19.230 --> 00:36:34.980 Brian Belovitch: Or you know tell me how I should be living my life and so for many years, you know I felt, you know that the abuse and the negative, you know experiences, you know physical abuse, sexual abuse and.
00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:39.780 Brian Belovitch: You know all that stuff really like I love that image that.
00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:54.060 Brian Belovitch: gay Georgian of like you know, having it like nipping at your heels, you know you just you know you just always trying to shake your ankle free of this sort of inner dialogue almost.
00:36:54.180 --> 00:37:03.060 Brian Belovitch: Like it is you're like unworthy you're I mean it's something that I still struggle with I won't I won't say that i'm like perfectly.
00:37:04.470 --> 00:37:13.170 Brian Belovitch: You know those demons because I do feel like you know, this is probably on another topic, but I do feel like a lot of that stuff is cellular and I think that.
00:37:13.410 --> 00:37:13.950 Georgeann Dau: Yes.
00:37:14.130 --> 00:37:18.060 Brian Belovitch: You know it doesn't you know once it's in your body, he it's.
00:37:18.060 --> 00:37:19.110 Brian Belovitch: Yes, there.
00:37:19.170 --> 00:37:20.040 Georgeann Dau: And, yes.
00:37:20.130 --> 00:37:24.450 Brian Belovitch: You know, it really takes a strong, you know mind and.
00:37:26.580 --> 00:37:31.200 Brian Belovitch: You know attitude, how to react to it differently.
00:37:31.740 --> 00:37:42.390 Georgeann Dau: Yes, very powerful what you're saying, Brian and first we have to become aware that the dialogue exists, we only live 10% consciously.
00:37:43.470 --> 00:38:00.150 Georgeann Dau: So once we're aware that the dialogue exists, it will always be there, but what i'm hearing you say and bravo to you is that now you have an awareness that it exists and so now when it's turned on by an outer experience that triggers it.
00:38:00.210 --> 00:38:04.380 Georgeann Dau: Bigger you can now decide we're not gonna go there now.
00:38:06.360 --> 00:38:08.160 Georgeann Dau: But you have a choice yeah.
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:10.680 Georgeann Dau: Jesus died, to give us that.
00:38:10.980 --> 00:38:11.310 Brian Belovitch: yeah.
00:38:11.340 --> 00:38:11.910 Georgeann Dau: And I.
00:38:11.970 --> 00:38:14.460 Georgeann Dau: You know I always have to bring something in about the Lord but.
00:38:14.610 --> 00:38:19.590 Brian Belovitch: Well it's very spiritual what you're saying you know it's it's like a spiritual awakenings like.
00:38:19.650 --> 00:38:20.010 Georgeann Dau: With.
00:38:20.310 --> 00:38:39.030 Brian Belovitch: The light, you know you know I look back on my life now anything wow had I had this awareness, then you know, maybe a decade earlier or you know, like maybe 20 years early I mean I don't know how God knows what my life would be like I mean it's pretty good now but yeah.
00:38:39.240 --> 00:38:40.500 Georgeann Dau: I was gonna say um.
00:38:42.150 --> 00:38:42.570 Georgeann Dau: yeah.
00:38:43.770 --> 00:38:49.230 Brian Belovitch: it's it's this it's an energy thing it's not an outer thing because I did the outer thing.
00:38:49.470 --> 00:38:54.210 Brian Belovitch: that's right, I did like okay i'm going to be a gorgeous sexy woman.
00:38:54.510 --> 00:38:56.700 Georgeann Dau: And you were honey and.
00:38:56.730 --> 00:39:09.780 Brian Belovitch: everyone's going to call it my feet and give me everything I wanted you know, I was married I married a handsome soldier I had an acting and a singing career, I was very successful up into a point.
00:39:10.680 --> 00:39:18.420 Brian Belovitch: But all of that external stuff it doesn't really it doesn't really support you if you're feeling so awful.
00:39:20.220 --> 00:39:29.520 Georgeann Dau: And that's what it is i'm sorry and that's what it is for all of us that we prop ourselves up by the outer impression.
00:39:30.750 --> 00:39:33.270 Georgeann Dau: That we live in, until.
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:41.970 Georgeann Dau: We recognize that that's not the way and that's the Epiphany that God brings us to always always.
00:39:42.330 --> 00:39:48.270 Georgeann Dau: And then we get to see the inner actual the actual true journey which is inward yeah God i'm sorry.
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:49.110 Judi Miller: I was gonna say.
00:39:49.200 --> 00:39:54.540 Brian Belovitch: hi in our lifetimes and you know people people respond to that.
00:39:55.710 --> 00:39:56.520 Georgeann Dau: More than anything.
00:39:57.150 --> 00:40:04.320 Judi Miller: And I was just going to comment on what both both Brian and George and we're saying you know I love, one of the quotes that you have in the book towards the end.
00:40:04.650 --> 00:40:18.330 Judi Miller: It says, you know, on more than one occasion it looked like it looked like if you might not even make it to 30 but the simple truth of learning to live life, one day, at a time has been the greatest blessing for you, so when our perspective.
00:40:18.330 --> 00:40:19.800 Judi Miller: changed our entire life.
00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:20.910 Judi Miller: Changes yes, and it was.
00:40:20.910 --> 00:40:22.140 Judi Miller: beautifully said.
00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:23.610 Georgeann Dau: yeah.
00:40:25.020 --> 00:40:38.100 Georgeann Dau: You did, and you live it you do you live it I see you and, again, you know it's a journey we're not arriving anywhere now right whatever goes on in our Garden of Eden any dysfunction.
00:40:38.430 --> 00:40:54.690 Georgeann Dau: Is inside of us it takes a lifetime to recognize it and and change a behavior is the last thing to change, yes, awareness is the first that we have to come to always.
00:40:55.830 --> 00:41:07.320 Judi Miller: And what I love also since i'm quoting about the back of the book you talk about faith, you talk about faith and knowing that you will always be taken care of in every moment So could you talk a little bit about that.
00:41:09.870 --> 00:41:21.030 Brian Belovitch: i'll try to without you know getting emotional because it's very personal but you know I I I was something that always felt like I was never taken care of.
00:41:22.410 --> 00:41:29.790 Georgeann Dau: yeah and so weren't I wasn't I wasn't you weren't you were not taking care of.
00:41:29.970 --> 00:41:31.080 Brian Belovitch: Not taking care of.
00:41:31.110 --> 00:41:44.280 Brian Belovitch: No, no, I have faced a lot of cruelty in the world, yes, and a lot of unpleasant things that most people well people everybody struggles with difficult.
00:41:44.310 --> 00:41:51.150 Georgeann Dau: But yours was really exceptional in it really and I cried when I was reading yesterday I cried yeah.
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:54.210 Brian Belovitch: yeah it was it was it was tough and so.
00:41:55.590 --> 00:42:00.870 Brian Belovitch: At some point in my life when I learn to accept things.
00:42:02.130 --> 00:42:17.220 Brian Belovitch: About myself and once I started to trust learn I had to really learn how to trust and a lot of my faith comes from trusting that things are going to work out for me.
00:42:18.630 --> 00:42:27.540 Brian Belovitch: Even in spite of my worst day or my worst thinking you know and and I really have been blessed and.
00:42:29.040 --> 00:42:43.680 Brian Belovitch: I I feel so blessed that a that i'm alive, because you know I am a long term survivors of HIV, so I lived through the holocaust of AIDS I watched all my friends passed away.
00:42:44.370 --> 00:42:51.720 Brian Belovitch: I never knew what day whether I was going to make it another day myself, because I lived through the whole period where.
00:42:53.760 --> 00:43:06.150 Brian Belovitch: You know where there wasn't any medication, you know, there was nothing, it was like you know, make it made it that day good on you and so through that kind of an experience.
00:43:07.560 --> 00:43:29.700 Brian Belovitch: In forced my trust in something and I don't know what that something is i'm not smart enough to figure it out, but what I do know is that I put my faith in you know, the fact that I made it, you know that I I I survived you know, I guess, I guess, my faith comes from surviving yes.
00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:32.130 Georgeann Dau: And, as I was driving.
00:43:32.340 --> 00:43:34.230 Brian Belovitch: Thriving in doing so.
00:43:34.890 --> 00:43:49.800 Brian Belovitch: You know, like to make the best out of a really horrendous situation and that's why I wrote the book in the first place, you know when I did a book tour North Carolina and one of my one of my most memorable experiences of that time was.
00:43:50.940 --> 00:43:55.350 Brian Belovitch: Having this kid was like maybe 14 or 15 years old.
00:43:55.380 --> 00:44:07.710 Georgeann Dau: This is too important to cut have you cut in the middle so we're going to take a quick break I wish we didn't but we're going to take a quick break and then we're going to continue this piece, when we come back it's so important we'll be right back.
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:33.450 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back with Brian below which.
00:46:34.560 --> 00:46:39.330 Georgeann Dau: So, Brian i'm please continue the story.
00:46:41.010 --> 00:46:43.170 Brian Belovitch: So, yet so we were talking about about.
00:46:43.980 --> 00:46:44.760 Georgeann Dau: A little boy a.
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:48.840 Brian Belovitch: little boy well I wasn't really sure of.
00:46:50.670 --> 00:46:58.650 Brian Belovitch: Their gender presentation, when I met them, but I was at this festival in in North Carolina and this.
00:46:59.220 --> 00:47:06.690 Brian Belovitch: These parents after I spoke, I spoke on writing about sexuality and gender That was the topic of the panel.
00:47:07.110 --> 00:47:17.370 Brian Belovitch: And I couldn't really see people in the audience, but there was a pretty pretty good crowd that came out and then after when I was finished, I was you know meeting some of the people that were there and they.
00:47:18.300 --> 00:47:24.810 Brian Belovitch: couple came up to me, the parents and they were shaking my hand and thanking me so much and.
00:47:25.800 --> 00:47:39.870 Brian Belovitch: You know, for for writing my book, and it was so important for them, and you know they sort of moved aside and I saw this kid like this 14 year old kid maybe 15 most.
00:47:40.650 --> 00:47:54.420 Brian Belovitch: You know just beaming like so bright like just like a beacon of light just smiling, and so the real that key they don't know what gender pronoun so i'll say they.
00:47:55.530 --> 00:48:03.600 Brian Belovitch: got to hear me talk about my book, and he had the book and they I signed the book for them and.
00:48:05.070 --> 00:48:13.980 Brian Belovitch: gave them a hog and thank them and thank the parents were thanking me profusely, for you know writing this book and.
00:48:14.430 --> 00:48:30.480 Brian Belovitch: They turned around and walked away and my friend who was who was my host for the weekend, she looked at me and I looked at her and we both burst into tears, we were just like oh my God that was so beautiful.
00:48:31.350 --> 00:48:38.070 Brian Belovitch: So you know it's those kind of experiences that really you know I find faith in that I find.
00:48:39.270 --> 00:49:04.590 Brian Belovitch: I find love and I find faith and I find hope you know and those types of experiences, where people where I can make some small contribution to let people know other people who are struggling with any of these issues that there are other people out there who can yes, you know understand.
00:49:04.710 --> 00:49:07.260 Georgeann Dau: Yes, you're selling touching.
00:49:07.680 --> 00:49:09.510 Judi Miller: Your many lives.
00:49:09.960 --> 00:49:19.560 Georgeann Dau: Thank you absolutely you know we all need a purpose and we're all healers here, you know touching helping God do god's work here on the certain point.
00:49:20.640 --> 00:49:27.180 Brian Belovitch: I felt like I I went from a life that was pretty useless to a life that is very purposeful and.
00:49:27.480 --> 00:49:28.470 Georgeann Dau: Good love.
00:49:28.650 --> 00:49:38.520 Brian Belovitch: I love helping others and I love service so beautiful I think that's what i'm here to do that is beautiful that's why I how I survived.
00:49:40.020 --> 00:49:51.660 Judi Miller: Brian I had a curiosity question for you, who are so, in your opinion, how has society changed since you were younger is society more accepting of people that they view as different.
00:49:54.090 --> 00:49:58.980 Brian Belovitch: Well it's hard to I mean I, I want to, I want to say that.
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:17.730 Brian Belovitch: I hope it is you know there's a lot of posturing and a lot of like you know presentation about you know this, you know you know the woke goodness of society now and the acceptance of diversity, but I think we still have a lot of work to do.
00:50:19.110 --> 00:50:26.190 Brian Belovitch: You know just look what we just went through in the last you know few years you know, whenever we make progress.
00:50:27.030 --> 00:50:41.700 Brian Belovitch: You know i'm old enough to know a little bit about history, and you know, whenever we make some progress there's always somebody there to try to like you know push you back you know and and and and and and fall back into fear and to.
00:50:42.990 --> 00:50:44.970 You know just.
00:50:47.340 --> 00:50:49.350 awful unpleasant.
00:50:52.080 --> 00:50:59.190 Brian Belovitch: things in the world, and so you know, I hope that we, I think we've made a lot of progress um.
00:50:59.880 --> 00:51:09.120 Brian Belovitch: But I, I still believe there's there's so much more that needs to be done and then and it starts in the home, you know I mean it starts.
00:51:09.870 --> 00:51:21.570 Brian Belovitch: With education and it starts with like awareness like you know, having you know just my story being out there, people can say okay well look at this guy did this, and he went through that and.
00:51:22.140 --> 00:51:30.120 Brian Belovitch: You know, you know, maybe, maybe there's hope for me that I can you know we all struggle with so many different things.
00:51:31.200 --> 00:51:34.350 Brian Belovitch: And I remember feeling so alone in my own.
00:51:37.980 --> 00:51:47.730 Brian Belovitch: struggles, with my gender identity and conflicted and not really 100% committed to you know being you know.
00:51:50.310 --> 00:51:53.130 Brian Belovitch: There was always a question I always had a question about.
00:51:54.240 --> 00:52:13.020 Brian Belovitch: Is this the right thing for me and that's an awful way to have to go through your life, you know, to try to like never quite feel comfortable in your own skin and luckily, you know that has shifted yes i'm.
00:52:13.530 --> 00:52:18.930 Georgeann Dau: rambling when you brought up in a family that is always putting you down for everything you do.
00:52:19.380 --> 00:52:28.290 Georgeann Dau: You know I know you work through that but, of course, you would feel uncomfortable for a long period in your own skin, you know, as I was reading your book.
00:52:28.860 --> 00:52:40.470 Georgeann Dau: I was thinking how God is loved you all the way through all the angels God put in your path all those women, I mean that we're all did that just saw this little angel and just.
00:52:41.010 --> 00:52:54.570 Georgeann Dau: You know loved you and accepted you for whoever brought I mean all those people are you know that's all god's love poured on you, through those women doing exactly what you're doing now for people yeah absolutely.
00:52:54.630 --> 00:53:06.000 Brian Belovitch: I don't question it I I accept it, and I think that beautiful know I always say to people pay attention to the signs and you will never get lost.
00:53:07.260 --> 00:53:26.880 Brian Belovitch: And as many times as I was small and I somehow landed in the lap of love yeah and the lack of guidance and there was always someone there, like so many of my mentors have been these incredibly strong amazing women and.
00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:36.030 Brian Belovitch: You know so so you know I didn't start out that way, but it ended up that way so there's a reason why.
00:53:37.410 --> 00:53:40.650 Brian Belovitch: That happened and and and you know.
00:53:41.820 --> 00:53:45.870 Brian Belovitch: I think that's you know what it is i'm supposed to be doing now.
00:53:46.950 --> 00:53:49.650 Brian Belovitch: it's giving back that you know.
00:53:51.210 --> 00:53:56.550 Brian Belovitch: You know what was the business saying like what so freely given to you, you give back to others.
00:53:58.410 --> 00:53:58.920 Yes.
00:54:00.360 --> 00:54:10.860 Judi Miller: Yes, and Brian do you sometimes feel that people in general, go through struggles in life, so they can grow and they can learn, and then they can be of service based on the experiences that they've gone through.
00:54:12.630 --> 00:54:20.130 Brian Belovitch: Well, I don't I don't know how it is for anybody else like you know my own experience, but I know that.
00:54:21.120 --> 00:54:27.180 Brian Belovitch: that's been very helpful for me, you know I see I do see how that works in other people's lives.
00:54:28.170 --> 00:54:34.050 Brian Belovitch: I have a friend we've talked a little bit before we started this interview about who is 93 years old.
00:54:34.590 --> 00:54:47.430 Brian Belovitch: Who has a terrible story, I mean you heard both of her sons one of her son committed suicide for other son died of an aneurysm at the age of 27 and working in Milan during fashion week.
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:55.350 Brian Belovitch: And she has had like this crazy these crazy marriages one of her husband is like a murderer and.
00:54:55.770 --> 00:55:07.800 Brian Belovitch: I mean, she just had all this trauma in your life and What did she do is she become a bitter angry hateful person and and present every everyone else's happiness, no.
00:55:08.430 --> 00:55:24.900 Brian Belovitch: She is the most generous loving positive person she always helping others every time you turn around she's 93 years old, she works 20 hours a week, helping the teachers in our school.
00:55:25.410 --> 00:55:37.080 Brian Belovitch: Children sort of like I think of them as like kids like I was like you know, President commotion in school and being add and out of control, those are the kids that she sort of helps the teachers with.
00:55:37.620 --> 00:55:46.830 Brian Belovitch: And she really changes their lives to um you know, by helping just being with purpose and that.
00:55:47.580 --> 00:55:51.720 Georgeann Dau: little extra care touch on the shoulder just a little loving.
00:55:52.080 --> 00:55:53.760 Brian Belovitch: That makes a big difference.
00:55:53.790 --> 00:55:55.350 Brian Belovitch: Such a big difference.
00:55:55.800 --> 00:56:00.780 Georgeann Dau: Even though we need to be the hour goes so fast, we need to begin to end for tonight.
00:56:01.860 --> 00:56:03.960 Georgeann Dau: But Brian what a blessing.
00:56:05.280 --> 00:56:12.120 Georgeann Dau: That you said yes so wonderful to have you here with us Judy and I am just so grateful for you have.
00:56:12.150 --> 00:56:15.210 Judi Miller: Truly an amazing story, and thank you for being here with us.
00:56:15.420 --> 00:56:16.350 Georgeann Dau: and sharing it.
00:56:16.590 --> 00:56:20.160 Brian Belovitch: don't happen to do it, thank you both so much not so great.
00:56:20.220 --> 00:56:22.980 Georgeann Dau: So would it be okay if we set a quick prayer before we end.
00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:24.660 yeah.
00:56:26.130 --> 00:56:34.530 Georgeann Dau: So, Lord God loving God, you are certainly loving you carry us through so many portions of our life without us even realizing.
00:56:35.220 --> 00:56:45.240 Georgeann Dau: We sit and gratitude for our time together, tonight we sit and gratitude for all those listening for Sam for those that work the show behind the scenes.
00:56:45.780 --> 00:56:53.220 Georgeann Dau: And we just always sit and gratitude that you teach us I love that you make gold out of our struggles.
00:56:53.610 --> 00:57:10.440 Georgeann Dau: That we have learned to look at them as stepping stones not stumbling blocks and that you can continue to rise us up from anything that might be pulling us down we walk in faith and we sit and gratitude amen amen.
00:57:11.700 --> 00:57:16.980 Georgeann Dau: That was Dr Dan Thank you Judy, thank you for you, Brian Thank you.
00:57:18.480 --> 00:57:25.470 Georgeann Dau: and give my love to to gym and i'll see you soon over the over the fence immediate that that.
00:57:26.730 --> 00:57:34.170 Georgeann Dau: Thank you good night, everyone will see you next week Monday night seven o'clock we hope to see you there can I night.