CoffeeTalk XL

Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Facebook Live Video from 2021/10/05 - Being Professional and Ethical in the Work Place

Facebook Live Video from 2021/10/05 - Being Professional and Ethical in the Work Place


2021/10/05 - Being Professional and Ethical in the Work Place

[New Episode] Being Professional and Ethical in the Work Place

Tonight Kevin will focus on various topics, from his hiatus due to testing covid-positive, helping his friend move cross country, introducing his audience to kittens that are waiting to get adopted/fostered through his animal rescue (Rocky’s rescue), and lastly the important topic of work professionalism and ethics--how it affects people’s perception of you and how it could make or break your career. 

Tune in for this fun conversation at or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.

Show Notes

Segment 1

Kevin starts off tonight’s show by introducing himself, and the show. He goes on to share that there is a variety of topics he will focus on tonight’s show; from his hiatus, to his covid-19 positive results, and career professionalism. He leads the conversation to a recent sports news scandal about a head coach, Urban Meyer, for the Jaguars team, who was caught at a bar with his hand on a young woman’s butt that wasn’t his wife. Jeff uses this incident in connection to his own experience of ethics and professionalism within the workplace. He shares that his life took a tumble in the past as a college coach, due to his own poor ethical and professional decisions. The idea of perception will be a grand focus within that topic. Jeff then takes a different route, changing subjects to his rescue, Rocky’s Rescue, where about a month prior, a female tiger stray cat they rescued, gave birth to 5 kittens, 3 which are still up for adoption/fostering. He will be introducing the kittens to his audience. He goes a little into how Rescue City was started by him. His focus is that the animals will find a loving home. Switching topics again, Kevin turns to explain his recent hiatus, sharing that about three weeks prior he tested positive for COVID-19. He states he was surprised due to constantly being tested for his acting career and having been vaccinated. He lists his symptoms, and experience of being sick: from body aches, to sweat, fever and loss of taste and smell. Kevin has plans to go on an upcoming cruise with his family and is glad he is no longer testing positive. After his quarantine, he took a trip with a friend, who has been a previous guest on his show, Kramer, to help him move across the country--from Sacramento to South Carolina. He shares their experience with Kramer’s cat, Beavo, who rode in the truck with them. During a stop for gas, they notice Beavo is nowhere to be seen, he is missing. They search for him and eventually realized the cat climbed into a small hole under the seat. Which was a relief to their fear. Kevin informs us that he will be back after the commercials.

Segment 2

Kevin begins this segment by introducing one of the three kittens that are up for adoption/fostering through Rocky’s Rescue. If anyone is interested, Kevin shares his email for his audience. He shares once again how he started Rocky’s Rescue as a passion project that is privately funded. He accepts donations. The subject of professionalism and ethics in the workplace is re-introduced. As Kevin states, it's a part of his life and has defined him who he is and what type of person he is in his second chapter of his life--that there are important lessons on how to conduct yourself so you’re not put into a position where you lose everything--as Kevin did in his first chapter of his life. Right after college, Kevin started his cross country & track coaching career at the college level. His initial coaching job was at a college in Myrtle Beach, Florida, after he spent a year in Columbia, and then took a position as a head coach at the University of Toledo in 1998. He was the youngest NCAA 1 head coach in the country, at the age of 28. Before he arrived at Toledo, he noticed they hadn’t had any success in cross country and distance running- which was his specialty. He had developed his own style of training which took on various styles of training rather than just one like most coaches. He took a positive approach and built the track program up basically from scratch, soon succeeding year by year. Kevin coached at Toledo for 15 years. While the program was successful, as well as his career as a coach, he will never have a place in Toledo’s hall of fame, due to his poor choices, which he will continue after the commercial break.

Segment 3

Reintroduces himself, and reminds his audience that the show’s time has been moved up, and what platforms it’s available in. He introduces another kitten that is also up for adoption/fostering—sharing his info. for those who are interested. Kevin returns to his story that was put on pause for the commercial break. He explains his personality is risk-taking, and while most people would pump the brakes in life, he would not. He gives some examples about what he calls is his “coocoo” switch, which he lacks the fear of failure. He explains there is a difference between fear and being scared. For him fear is not there before hand, and he states the more success he had as a coach the more inhibited he was in terms of taking risks. He states he never broke and rules, or laws but that doesn’t mean that poor decisions and unethical decisions aren’t made. It needs to be weighed out. In the midst of his professional and personal risks, Feeling of being bulletproof at first, and then you begin taking bigger risks which makes you feel invincible—which behind the scenes you have been making poor decisions and because you are successful people look the other way. Except you begin making bigger risks and you begin feeling invisible. Kevin shares he thought he was successful and well liked was because of the way he acted, his personality, but the problem was that in his head he thought that he wouldn’t have been successful if he hadn’t been the way he was—outgoing, social. He allowed the gap between coach and athletes to shrink. He would socialize with students but then at a point he began to cross more lines by drinking during night practices. He brings up how could he be respected by acting as such. He dated some of his previous athletes, which in the world of athletics was unacceptable. Respect shrinks. The perception he was building was negative and ultimately landed him homeless.

Segment 4

​​At the end of the day people don’t seek out the truth, they seek out the perception, specifically something controversial and they make a decision (an emotional decision). The decision is sudden and they stick to their decision. Everyone feels they have a right to have an opinion of everything but in their mind it’s a fact of something. When it comes to being professional, you have to be conscious of the perception you’re building around yourself because at the end of the day what’s believeable. 15 years into working in Toledo, he states he was falsely accused of sexual harassment. He states he kicked someone off the team and after he comes back from a trip, he is met with HR and he finds out about the sexual harassment charge. After two months of investigation, even though the charges were found unsustainable—untrue, the perception he built for himself. 

He had to admit to his other misbehaviors in order to clear the sexual harassment. The reputation he had built for himself ended up being his downfall. He resigned, lost his career, lost his home and started off from scratch. He is thankful that he was able to bounce back from it, after living in his car for 18 months. He became an actor, and eventually started two companies. While he still misses coaching he knows it’s something he can go back to. He declares that you have to be conscious of the footprint you leave in the world, because how others perceive you matters. He hopes in sharing his experience he could help others consider how important professionalism and ethics are.  Unsure if he will be able to hold his next show live, due to being on a family trip, he states he will keep his audience in touch.


00:01:08.550 --> 00:01:10.290 Kevin Barbaro Productions: buddy coffee donkey.

00:01:13.410 --> 00:01:13.980 Kevin Barbaro Productions: On.

00:01:14.970 --> 00:01:33.480 Kevin Barbaro Productions: slash talk radio nyc all one word or you're listening right now live on the audio which is on talk radio dot nyc and you'll be able to check out the podcast that will be uploaded for on spotify on iTunes etc, etc, so.

00:01:35.250 --> 00:01:46.110 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Little out of my element, because i'm just getting back into the groove of things, after a we're talking about a variety of things tonight, one of which is the fact that I ended up.

00:01:47.670 --> 00:01:57.240 Kevin Barbaro Productions: contracting a breakthrough case of coven which was brutal so i'm going to talk about that just got back from a road trip after recovering from coven.

00:01:57.750 --> 00:02:06.690 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Cross country road trip to help my best friend move from California to myrtle beach we we drove is the Ryder truck.

00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:14.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: across the country, and which was an adventure in and of itself, of course, always and the other thing I want to talk about you know.

00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:34.860 Kevin Barbaro Productions: One thing that came up in the news last couple of days is in the world of sports is urban Meyer and he's the head coach of the jacksonville jaguars as if you're a sports fan, you probably are you probably know that and there was a video out that went viral of him.

00:02:36.150 --> 00:02:52.500 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And like a bar or whatever, and he had his hand on on a young females, but that young female was clearly not as wife, and so you know, there was some scuttlebutt about it obviously over the last 24 hours or so and.

00:02:53.580 --> 00:02:59.310 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Essentially it kind of triggered me to say you know what this week i'm going to talk about.

00:03:00.480 --> 00:03:18.030 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The importance of being professional and ethical in the workplace and anybody that knows me it's been following my shows you know it's the fourth version of coffee talk over the last 12 years or so anybody that's followed me they knows that my life is.

00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:27.390 Kevin Barbaro Productions: What my life is like a soap opera, quite frankly, but my life has been essentially a to act play and hopefully.

00:03:27.900 --> 00:03:38.820 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It will remain a to act play, but the first act of my life was as a college coach I ruined that because my own poor decisions my own for professional.

00:03:39.780 --> 00:03:48.960 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and ethical decisions that that I was making and I paid a heavy price for it and there were a lot of lessons to be learned from that and I actually.

00:03:49.710 --> 00:03:58.350 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Over the last few years i've actually traveled around the country and i've spoken to at various colleges, including us University of Toledo, which is where.

00:03:59.040 --> 00:04:14.430 Kevin Barbaro Productions: My career really took off and also where my career ended about the about the importance of of perception and being professional and etc so we're going to talk about that also man lots been happening so.

00:04:15.570 --> 00:04:26.160 Kevin Barbaro Productions: rocky's rescue about a month and a half ago, or so I introduced people to we call her et.

00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:41.040 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A female tiger cat that that was a stray that we brought in turns out, she was pregnant she had kittens only about the little bit less than three weeks ago now, and those kittens are now going to be well.

00:04:42.030 --> 00:05:02.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: She had five kittens two of them are already adopting out the other three are up for adoption or fostering as this et herself and so i'm going to introduce everybody to a couple of the little kittens you know, and if anybody wants to listen to Rockies rescue is privately funded.

00:05:03.270 --> 00:05:18.420 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I funded out of my own pocket and any donations that come in, but basically it's just a passion of mine and and i'll go anywhere to make sure that these animals are in a safe home home or they're going to be loved.

00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:28.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A home where they're going to be treated right so it's not like i'm just going to Willy nilly just hand over these kittens there's a process involved, but i'm also willing.

00:05:28.620 --> 00:05:43.500 Kevin Barbaro Productions: to transport them myself, so that if anybody wants to adopt or foster and you don't live well doesn't matter where you live i'll just make it happen if you're the right person for it so i'm going to introduce everybody some of that getting back to the whole COPA.

00:05:45.180 --> 00:05:45.540 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Do.

00:05:46.980 --> 00:05:58.260 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It was so the last time I had this show live was like three weeks ago and nearly a month ago was the last time I was live on the show because of code.

00:05:59.760 --> 00:06:03.510 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Well, the last time I had my show I.

00:06:04.770 --> 00:06:14.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: um I had mentioned that you know I feel like i've got a cold and the and I said on the show there's no way that I got coven.

00:06:14.910 --> 00:06:24.600 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Because they have all been vaccinated which was obviously a mistake and not a mistake to get vaccinated with mistake to assume that I wouldn't get it, because I was vaccinated.

00:06:25.470 --> 00:06:30.360 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And the other reason I said was because i'm tested all the time well because my acting career.

00:06:30.900 --> 00:06:38.430 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And the fact that I have booked so many gigs you know kind of like in that three week period prior to that I had been tested.

00:06:38.970 --> 00:06:47.700 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I don't even I can't even i've lost count, I mean I was probably tested eight times and in 20 days or something like this, so.

00:06:48.540 --> 00:06:56.460 Kevin Barbaro Productions: matter of fact, I was tested only about five days before my show well, I had the sniffles whatever.

00:06:57.270 --> 00:07:08.940 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was on a Tuesday obviously and oh PS obviously as anybody that's watching or listening, right now, you know this show now is at seven o'clock every week it's not at eight o'clock Eastern seven o'clock Eastern.

00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:20.400 Kevin Barbaro Productions: starting this week um but anyway, I know I I started to feel as though I had a cold that was like on a Monday and Tuesday and then on Wednesday, I started to feel like.

00:07:20.970 --> 00:07:34.680 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know what maybe I got the flu because i'm starting to get a fever and i'm starting to to have night sweats and i've never gone through this before, even with the flu.

00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:41.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: i've never been in a position where I literally was sweating so much at night.

00:07:43.170 --> 00:07:53.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It randomly that I had, I would have to get up and change out of the pajama pajamas sweatpants and a sweater um.

00:07:54.720 --> 00:08:05.760 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I would have to change out in the middle of the night because I literally would just be soaked in sweat from this and then the kicker and even at that point i'm like you know what I wonder if I got coven.

00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:11.790 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But the kicker was I lost my sense of smell and taste.

00:08:13.170 --> 00:08:20.790 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And anybody that's been through this anybody's had COPD and you've gone through this, it is the oddest.

00:08:22.050 --> 00:08:36.630 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Part of the whole being sick I can deal with the flu, I can deal with fever, the body aches hell, I can even deal with you know sweating bullets all night i'm Italian, I mean I sweat my sleep anyway, probably but.

00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:48.330 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It was the sentence and what happened was of course I work alone every day and I got the showers like on Thursday of that week I got a shower you know.

00:08:48.810 --> 00:08:59.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And for my deodorant on and go through the same routine, like everybody else does and grabbed a bottle of Cologne and give it a couple of squirts and I don't smell anything like.

00:09:01.500 --> 00:09:21.630 Kevin Barbaro Productions: put up to my nose, nothing could couldn't smell, not one thing, and I know, every day, when I put that Cologne on I smell the clone every day so then i'm like man, so I started thinking about the night before that and trying to remember, if I tasted my food or not, but I couldn't remember.

00:09:22.650 --> 00:09:30.960 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And it wasn't even thinking along those lines so it's it's possible I didn't taste it and just walked down my dinner and didn't even think about it.

00:09:31.740 --> 00:09:43.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But then when I went to dunkin donuts to grab a coffee that same morning that I realized that I lost my sense of smell I eat the same I you know i'm a creature of habit, like most people I get.

00:09:44.820 --> 00:09:56.850 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A whenever I pull up it's a large coffee before splenda almond milk and one pump have eaten pumpkin or Karma that one bump is enough for me took a SIP didn't taste the thing.

00:09:57.960 --> 00:10:04.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So then started to get worse every day i'm starting to get warm more sick.

00:10:05.910 --> 00:10:08.790 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I ended up getting tested obviously came back with positive that code.

00:10:09.930 --> 00:10:16.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so the fever continued to get worse and it actually you know.

00:10:18.810 --> 00:10:21.330 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I don't know if my.

00:10:22.740 --> 00:10:34.620 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I don't know if my vaccine just flat out didn't work or if the vaccine actually did work, and it certainly lessened.

00:10:35.790 --> 00:10:41.400 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A the the experience, but what I can tell you is.

00:10:42.600 --> 00:10:53.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: i'm thankful that I was vaccinated one way or the other, because it could have been it felt as though it could be way worse and, as a matter of fact, the worst night.

00:10:54.450 --> 00:10:57.450 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Was I would say, looking back on it.

00:10:58.890 --> 00:11:01.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: About seven days into.

00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:08.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: From the time that I first experienced any symptoms at all, which was the sniffles.

00:11:09.330 --> 00:11:22.890 Kevin Barbaro Productions: To seven days into it was the worst night I was so uncomfortable and in in things I knew, deep down in my head i'm like man, I have to drink water.

00:11:23.430 --> 00:11:37.590 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I have to drink gatorade zero hey I had this stuff land by the bed, but because I lost my sense of taste and smell, I was literally in this thing I just didn't want to taste any water I just didn't want to put anything in.

00:11:39.420 --> 00:11:48.540 Kevin Barbaro Productions: One drink any liquids whatsoever, so I had to consciously make the decision Okay, every time I wake up, which is a lot when you're in this situation.

00:11:49.080 --> 00:11:58.530 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Every time I wake up i'm going to take five good sips of the gatorade zero the city or the gatorade or whatever it is, I like PDL a thing as a matter of fact.

00:11:59.460 --> 00:12:10.350 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And for one of the nights and that kind of helped me to make sure that I was at least somewhat staying hydrated which I was dehydrated if you look at my p.

00:12:11.010 --> 00:12:22.800 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Not to be graphic but uh so anyway finally got through it and another odd thing was when, as I was coming back from it the.

00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:31.170 Kevin Barbaro Productions: sense of taste finally came back, but that sense of taste wasn't like all of a sudden okay yeah I can taste everything.

00:12:31.710 --> 00:12:37.980 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It was like this gradual thing, where I could kind of do stuff, but it really didn't taste the same to me.

00:12:38.820 --> 00:12:50.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: um and it's a matter of fact, some things had like this metallic taste to them in my mouth, which was brutal as well, anyway, finally got over it ended I.

00:12:51.600 --> 00:13:02.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: scheduled tests every day because I was making this trip with my buddy across the country to finally test negative, and so it was like positive buzz buzz buzz and then finally negative.

00:13:03.510 --> 00:13:20.100 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So it took about from the beginning to the end of that whole thing was really about two weeks from the time that I first experienced any illness, to the time where I finally tested negative and.

00:13:21.180 --> 00:13:30.150 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Thank God, because a ball I made this trip across the country with my buddy The other thing is i'm treating my family to a cruise to the Bahamas.

00:13:30.600 --> 00:13:41.490 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And we leave on the 11th so we leave next Monday on this cruise and I was worried, you know i'm the one organize all day i'm the one to pay for the whole day I.

00:13:42.090 --> 00:13:48.810 Kevin Barbaro Productions: That so I what happened is my mom and dad have never been on a cruise so for Christmas.

00:13:49.410 --> 00:13:59.310 Kevin Barbaro Productions: This past year, I made a decision okay well i'm going to i'm going to surprise them with a with a cruise or Great deals and we were taking Royal Caribbean Bahamas for four nights and.

00:14:00.030 --> 00:14:07.470 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So I surprise my mom and dad with with the crews got him a an accessible suite with its own private balcony you know.

00:14:07.830 --> 00:14:14.070 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And then there's a second part of the surprise was that I was going, and I was taking my and i'm taking my.

00:14:14.760 --> 00:14:23.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: nieces and nephew my sister's kids you know and people that followed me and follow the show notice my sister and her husband had passed away.

00:14:23.790 --> 00:14:28.110 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so the kids are grown now but i'm essentially you know I am their parents.

00:14:28.620 --> 00:14:37.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so we're all going to go on the cruise together we had our own privacy, we with the private balcony also so anyway we're leaving on the 11th and if if i'm the one that ends up testing.

00:14:38.490 --> 00:14:46.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Positive it certainly was going to screw the whole thing so anyway that's kind of my coven thing.

00:14:46.980 --> 00:14:57.990 Kevin Barbaro Productions: cool trip on the way back here with my buddy for to help him move all the stuff but now when you're a Ryder truck going through the mountains and.

00:14:58.830 --> 00:15:08.280 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Certainly, the first part of the trip, you know the anybody that's traveling cross i've traveled in every state i've been to 26 countries i've driven everywhere flowing everywhere.

00:15:09.420 --> 00:15:19.680 Kevin Barbaro Productions: traveling is actually a passion of mine, the interesting thing he was living in sacramento and it's my buddy Kramer he's been on the show you before we skipped that music collection.

00:15:21.060 --> 00:15:30.900 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And the only way to get to South Carolina was where he was moving to the myrtle beach, is that you got to go down and then over.

00:15:31.590 --> 00:15:38.700 Kevin Barbaro Productions: There, there is no cutting across because you've got to get around the grand Canyon you got to get around the mountains so.

00:15:39.300 --> 00:15:49.230 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The first pretty much the first day you're really not making any progress esports you you're essentially driving seven ourselves and then had no over.

00:15:49.830 --> 00:15:59.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But what made the trip even more interesting is the fact that he had his cat so he's got a big black cat was like 12 years old, so rescue and his name is Bebo.

00:16:00.930 --> 00:16:01.380 Kevin Barbaro Productions: well.

00:16:02.880 --> 00:16:10.530 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Be evil had to ride in in the truck with us and and he did a great job I mean he was you know, at first, he was really nervous.

00:16:10.830 --> 00:16:17.820 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But you know eventually settled down and actually it would just lay around, most of them matter of fact, we had a cat carrier forum and.

00:16:18.300 --> 00:16:31.560 Kevin Barbaro Productions: This between us and and and and and he would just sometimes you just go into the cat carrier, no reason right, but what happened, one thing that was funny and scary to happen that same time, so we we stop.

00:16:33.810 --> 00:16:35.340 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I want to say we were in.

00:16:36.540 --> 00:16:37.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: New Mexico.

00:16:39.090 --> 00:16:46.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: off the top of my head I can't remember where we were, but I want to say was new Mexico might even have been Texas, or even Oklahoma and.

00:16:47.700 --> 00:16:56.280 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So anyway, we stopped to gas up and we, and this was a diesel truck I mean it's a big truck you know we start to gas up.

00:16:57.090 --> 00:17:10.350 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I know we first we stopped and got some snacks and and some some you know soda what not to drink, so we we we get back on the road we're on the road for about an hour and a half.

00:17:10.890 --> 00:17:19.950 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And we stopped to gas up and i'm gonna have to cut for a commercial break here in a couple of in about a minute i'm going to wrap this up before that, so we stopped to gas up.

00:17:21.120 --> 00:17:31.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: creamer gets out, I have been driving Kramer gets out and close the door I get out of the driver side I start pumping the gas I opened the door and we can't find the cat.

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:39.810 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was looking everywhere, I mean how big is you know you're only a cab I mean it's just one giant seat.

00:17:40.350 --> 00:17:52.620 Kevin Barbaro Productions: i'm looking we're looking under the seat we're looking behind the seat we're looking everywhere we literally thought somehow somehow that he had gotten out um.

00:17:53.520 --> 00:18:03.210 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They had gotten out of the truck an hour and a half before that, and we were literally on the verge of turning our truck around and driving an hour and a half back.

00:18:04.050 --> 00:18:13.410 Kevin Barbaro Productions: To try and find that cat I mean I i've never I haven't been nervous in a long time turns out there was a tiny little cubbyhole.

00:18:13.890 --> 00:18:23.460 Kevin Barbaro Productions: underneath the passenger seat that you when you lift the seat up it's got a fire extinguisher in there and it's got a toolkit so that you can change a tire in there.

00:18:24.090 --> 00:18:30.030 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And somehow he had made himself into huge cat he made it he made his way through old, it was only about this big.

00:18:30.630 --> 00:18:43.650 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And and knock on it, and if I just rip the seat up and there, he is canoodling with the fire hydrant and scare the crap but so anyway, that was part of the trip i'm going to be back in a minute.

00:18:44.490 --> 00:18:52.110 Kevin Barbaro Productions: After the commercial break here and we're going to talk i'm going to introduce everybody to one of the kittens that are up for adoption and we're going to talk about.

00:18:53.610 --> 00:18:58.860 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Being professional and ethical in the workplace i'm Kevin Barbara you're listening to coffee talk to excel we'll be back in just a minute.

00:21:10.650 --> 00:21:20.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Welcome back everybody to coffee talk XL i'm Kevin Barbara and you're listening on talk radio dot nyc or you watching us live on Facebook right now and.

00:21:20.670 --> 00:21:37.230 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Here is one of the kittens that is now going to be up for adoption and or fostering through rocky's rescue a little black and white, I want a second show everybody he's only three well under said he.

00:21:40.770 --> 00:21:50.730 Kevin Barbaro Productions: nope looks like it's a girl Okay, so you know whether that tiny man it's it's tough to tell it first, but this little cutie is.

00:21:52.110 --> 00:21:58.470 Kevin Barbaro Productions: One of the three that are still remaining that are up for adoption and or fostering so.

00:21:59.550 --> 00:22:07.980 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Any the talker to, obviously, as you can tell, so if you're interested in either fostering or adopting this little this little girl.

00:22:08.520 --> 00:22:23.220 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Then just hit me up, you can email me at info at Kevin Barbara COM, or you can certainly hit me up on Facebook or on Twitter or anything else so anyway let's hope this sheet is quiet, so I can get through the next part of the show.

00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:26.850 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But, and maybe she won't be back soon and.

00:22:30.210 --> 00:22:39.900 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Hopefully she figured it out here for a second um but, in any event, you know, like I said I started Rockies rescue is a passion project and.

00:22:41.730 --> 00:22:50.700 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And it's privately funded, you know, obviously any donation that somebody makes i'm not going to turn it down whether its food or or.

00:22:51.990 --> 00:22:55.320 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Okay, whether it's me or.

00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:08.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: or just a donation just in general So hopefully she'll be quiet, but in any event, going back to you know the, the main thing that I wanted to talk about today in terms of.

00:23:09.870 --> 00:23:17.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Being professional and ethical workplace, you know it's a difficult thing to talk about, but I, you know it's a part of my life.

00:23:18.360 --> 00:23:19.170 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and

00:23:20.340 --> 00:23:30.360 Kevin Barbaro Productions: it's really kind of define me is who, I am in this second chapter of my life and the type of person that that I am and.

00:23:31.650 --> 00:23:39.600 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And, and if there are important lessons to be learned here in terms of how to conduct yourself, so that you don't put yourself.

00:23:40.140 --> 00:23:55.020 Kevin Barbaro Productions: In a position where you can lose everything which is exactly what happened with me so a little bit of background for those people that that don't know the whole story, I mean, of course, we talked about all the time on here but.

00:23:56.520 --> 00:23:59.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And people that follow me know the story, but.

00:24:00.330 --> 00:24:01.230 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Essentially.

00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:09.900 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The only career, I ever had when I got right out of college was that I was a cross country and track coach at the College level.

00:24:10.710 --> 00:24:28.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And I started my coaching career at coastal Carolina University in myrtle beach South Carolina and we were able to build a school that had never been to be flow never been good any higher than the conference level before to be one of the best teams in the country and had.

00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:40.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, put the program in a position where it was it was beating like the SEC champions and and whatnot and we were ranked as high as 22nd yes double a bowl.

00:24:41.520 --> 00:24:54.660 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And then I went to Columbia from there, I spent five years ago, secure line I went to Columbia and we were able to have some similar success, I was only there for one year, so I can't you know take credit obviously can take credit for.

00:24:55.590 --> 00:25:11.040 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The jump that we made but was it was a great experience to be there and living in New York City, for the first time, and then I was hired as the head coach at the University of Toledo, and when I was hired at the University of Toledo, is way back in 1998.

00:25:12.690 --> 00:25:26.160 Kevin Barbaro Productions: At that time I was actually the youngest nc double a division one head coach in the country, I was I just turned 28 years old, and you know and the interesting thing about Toledo, before I got there.

00:25:27.330 --> 00:25:40.950 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Was and the thing that intrigued me about it was the fact that they had never had any success in cross country and and distance running and that was my especially I was Catholic college, but.

00:25:42.420 --> 00:25:49.380 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I basically had developed my own style of training, it was different than anybody else I basically.

00:25:50.040 --> 00:26:03.630 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I didn't subscribe to like one style of training, which happens a lot with coaches, because they usually train people like they were trained so it's just one version of training and what can be okay.

00:26:06.120 --> 00:26:23.310 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And, basically, I took the approach like you know what I think that there are multiple ways to that somebody can be trained I, why should, why should we just say one thing, there are really good aspects of training in all these different programs whether it's.

00:26:25.290 --> 00:26:30.840 Kevin Barbaro Productions: From Bauer men or from jack Daniels or not jack Daniels the booze.

00:26:32.340 --> 00:26:32.760 Kevin Barbaro Productions: or.

00:26:34.290 --> 00:26:42.060 Kevin Barbaro Productions: liddiard or whatever it is, it I am i'm like why, why does it why don't we just train people in a way that.

00:26:42.660 --> 00:27:01.890 Kevin Barbaro Productions: we're utilizing all these different training methods to enhance the things that they're good at, and to work on the things that they're not good at, and do it in a way that's positive and exciting and and and encouraging, and that was my whole thing right well you know.

00:27:03.150 --> 00:27:12.060 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I got to Toledo they'd never been good, they were only they hadn't finished higher the second to last in the mid American conference ever 18 years before I got there.

00:27:13.740 --> 00:27:24.540 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They were last 13 times and they were second the last five times and we're talking about 12 schools well 13 schools in the conference back when I first got there and.

00:27:25.560 --> 00:27:34.350 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The thing that intrigued me about it was I felt as though it was a place that could be really good and I couldn't really I didn't I didn't subscribe to the.

00:27:35.010 --> 00:27:48.480 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The mode of thinking that they can't be good just because they haven't been good, and there were all the aspects I felt there in order to build a great cross country and distance Program.

00:27:49.560 --> 00:28:01.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It was a safe campus you know there's were miles and miles of trails that we're just right down the road and Ohio as one of the most beautiful and extensive.

00:28:01.710 --> 00:28:12.150 Kevin Barbaro Productions: metropark systems in the country it's amazing all these little towns and all these cities have all these metro parks that are protected land and they create walking and running trails.

00:28:13.350 --> 00:28:21.180 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so that was right down the road from the University, so I you know, and then the other thing that I found intriguing about it so.

00:28:23.040 --> 00:28:33.300 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Toledo, is it in the mid American Conference, which is a mid major I mean it's in the middle of the sizes of schools, you know I mean and for those people that don't coach um.

00:28:35.010 --> 00:28:35.430 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and

00:28:36.900 --> 00:28:50.220 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The women's basketball program at Toledo, was a top 25 program and why that was important to me, was, I felt as though, even though there was no success in women's cross country and distance running.

00:28:50.910 --> 00:29:01.860 Kevin Barbaro Productions: That another woman sport there at that school was able to achieve a top 25 ranking and go to the nc double a championships.

00:29:02.820 --> 00:29:21.840 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So, to me, I felt like that was an indicator that people would be attracted to the school if they were just given the opportunity, so I take the job you know I actually only told the senior women's administrator that's the one that hired me they assistant athletic director lori Turner.

00:29:23.970 --> 00:29:27.480 Kevin Barbaro Productions: She I said, you know what you're going to think i'm crazy.

00:29:28.530 --> 00:29:40.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But I honestly feel as though, if you hire me that will have one of the best teams, it will have one of the best programs and then countries in five years, I, I feel that strongly.

00:29:41.970 --> 00:29:52.140 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so I don't know she hired me because I was either that dumb or that cocky or whatever it was probably kochi, to be honest.

00:29:53.070 --> 00:30:06.000 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But you know she gave me a shot and and it and, just as I promised that's exactly what happened, so you know when we were 13,013 my first year than we were eight out of 13 and then we were fourth.

00:30:06.570 --> 00:30:14.070 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And then we won the conference for the first time, and when we were nationally ranked and I ended up over the course to 15 years.

00:30:14.760 --> 00:30:30.120 Kevin Barbaro Productions: We won five matches were were second five times and I had nine nationally ranked teams in those 15 years and and right at the end of my career, which is a decade ago now.

00:30:31.350 --> 00:30:33.090 Kevin Barbaro Productions: We actually became the first.

00:30:34.590 --> 00:30:36.150 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Mid American conference okay.

00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:47.790 Kevin Barbaro Productions: We became the first mid American conference women's program even till still to this day, a decade later to go to three straight ncaa championships as a team.

00:30:48.420 --> 00:31:02.700 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And and really had a role, you know, on my coach of the year, you know five times, etc, etc, so a nationally ranked will rank runners while I was there, so basically build something from scratch to.

00:31:03.450 --> 00:31:15.690 Kevin Barbaro Productions: to something that was incredibly good and well respected the problem was and the problem is right there and I this maybe this is one thing that I.

00:31:16.380 --> 00:31:26.130 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Tell everybody it all that success, all the different things that I was able to accomplish there, I was just more successful coach in university to ios history any any.

00:31:27.630 --> 00:31:39.690 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But I will never ever be in the University of Toledo athletic hall of fame it's just it's never going to happen if you walk through the hall of fame in savage arena there's no mention of me.

00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:54.840 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and for good reason, and and, and the reason is what we're going to talk about when we come back from this next commercial break, but basically a lot of poor decisions, a lot of for personal decisions life decisions.

00:31:56.100 --> 00:32:03.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And an ethical decisions and I lost it all, and when I say I lost all I didn't just lose my career, I didn't just lose my job.

00:32:04.500 --> 00:32:09.540 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I lost everything I was owns and I had to build my life back to what it is now.

00:32:09.990 --> 00:32:22.500 Kevin Barbaro Productions: from scratch and we're going to talk about all that when we come back from this commercial break and i'll have another one of these guys hopefully not as loud it just a minute you're listening to coffee talk XL on talk radio dot nyc.

00:34:57.270 --> 00:35:07.530 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Welcome back everybody to coffee talk XL i'm Kevin barbro and you're listening on talk radio dot nyc don't forget that we have changed the time moving forward.

00:35:08.160 --> 00:35:17.160 Kevin Barbaro Productions: We moved up an hour, so we are now on every Tuesday night live at seven o'clock and you can get the podcast on spotify and.

00:35:17.640 --> 00:35:38.370 Kevin Barbaro Productions: iTunes and etc, etc, so getting back to rocky's rescue here for a second here's one of the other kittens, it is up for adoption or for fostering a little tiger cat and she looks it's a he actually is a boy and looks just like his mom he does and.

00:35:39.870 --> 00:35:41.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A lot less vocal.

00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:59.460 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Other kitten and we had years of if you're interested in fostering or adopting any of the kittens just hit me up, you can email me at info at Kevin Barbara COM, or you can just hit me up through Facebook or Twitter or instagram or whatever so.

00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:02.370 Kevin Barbaro Productions: In any event, getting back to.

00:36:04.140 --> 00:36:09.630 Kevin Barbaro Productions: My story and the lessons that to be learned so here's the thing about me.

00:36:11.580 --> 00:36:12.330 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and

00:36:14.760 --> 00:36:22.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: My personality is that I take great risks, this is just in life in general.

00:36:24.060 --> 00:36:31.170 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I don't have most people would pump the brakes in life.

00:36:32.610 --> 00:36:38.190 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And in the things that they do way before I would pump the brakes, you know, I was that kid.

00:36:39.420 --> 00:36:55.680 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, growing up that i'd be the first one to jump off a cliff into the lake or i'd be the first one to try and do a jump that's outrageous on my bmx bike and end up you know breaking my ankle or going to the hospital because I cut my hand and.

00:36:56.730 --> 00:37:04.470 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I grew up kind of with this cuckoo switch it almost that that I didn't fear.

00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:19.320 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Failure I was I wasn't afraid of anything and and this carried over into my adult life now, I will say that there's good and bad for that, I mean obviously one because i'm not afraid of anything.

00:37:20.220 --> 00:37:32.280 Kevin Barbaro Productions: uh you know and there's a difference and i've mentioned this before there's a difference between being afraid and being scared now afraid, is something that that a feeling that you have ahead of time.

00:37:33.480 --> 00:37:37.140 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Being scared is something that happens in that moment i've been scared.

00:37:38.250 --> 00:37:44.970 Kevin Barbaro Productions: In the moment not knowing what to do, because you're suddenly in a situation where you have no control that's scary right.

00:37:45.690 --> 00:38:04.230 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But in terms of fear ahead of time I it's just not there, and so what ends up happening and what ended up happening in my coaching career was that the more and more success that I had.

00:38:05.790 --> 00:38:07.590 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The more and more.

00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:11.610 Kevin Barbaro Productions: uninhibited, I think, is the right word.

00:38:12.840 --> 00:38:17.820 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was in terms of taking risks now.

00:38:20.400 --> 00:38:29.790 Kevin Barbaro Productions: To preface all of this, I never broke any nc double a rules, I never broken any laws, I never broke any university was okay at the time.

00:38:32.010 --> 00:38:48.210 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But just because you have manipulated the rules or how you operate under the Rules doesn't mean that you are not guilty of making poor decisions or not, you know because.

00:38:49.170 --> 00:39:02.340 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The overall your professionalism and your ethics are what what then has to be weighed out right, and so what happened is.

00:39:04.800 --> 00:39:19.800 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A great way to kind of illustrate where I was mentally through all of this, and through all of the successes that I was having and then continue risks that would take both professionally and personally is that.

00:39:21.930 --> 00:39:28.590 Kevin Barbaro Productions: When I started my coaching career coastal Carolina university way back, I mean we're talking almost 30 years ago now.

00:39:30.810 --> 00:39:50.100 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The men's basketball program had a head coach named russ Bergman and men's basketball coastal Carolina which at that time at just became coastal Carolina university prior to that it was usc coastal Carolina college a branch of the University of South Carolina and in like 91 ish.

00:39:51.480 --> 00:40:05.010 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They made it to the nc double a tournament men's basketball russ was the coach and had an amazing team and almost almost upset the number one seed which was indiana that year well.

00:40:06.150 --> 00:40:17.760 Kevin Barbaro Productions: As it turned out russ had been cheating he had been not only being unethical and unprofessional but he was also breaking ncaa.

00:40:19.020 --> 00:40:30.150 Kevin Barbaro Productions: arranging for summer classes and arranging for payments for so I mean you know basically all the stuff you kind of hear about happening at that at that level and basketball russ was doing it.

00:40:30.780 --> 00:40:39.090 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And the assistant athletic director at the time and coastal was also the men, women softball coaches names just Stanley good buddy of mine.

00:40:41.370 --> 00:40:53.010 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Had incredible success at coastal Carolina softball stadiums named after him, and we call them bug, and I mean it was the soundness, so I was talking to big bubba.

00:40:54.300 --> 00:41:06.570 Kevin Barbaro Productions: back when when when it happened with russ, and this is what he this is how we explain russ and it is a perfect way to explain me as I was going through that career.

00:41:07.740 --> 00:41:20.730 Kevin Barbaro Productions: He said the thing about russ is and the thing about coaches that make poor decisions is that, as you start working your way through at first.

00:41:21.420 --> 00:41:33.750 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And you think that you're bulletproof because you make some poor decisions and you get away with it, or even if people find out about it, they cover for you okay and.

00:41:34.770 --> 00:41:44.130 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So at first you think you're bulletproof and you spend a little bit of time being bulletproof and then you start taking even greater risks.

00:41:44.910 --> 00:42:02.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And now you're going from feeling as though you're bulletproof to feeling as though you're invincible so that now you've you've you've been able to operate kind of behind the scenes and you've been able to make these decisions, these poor decisions.

00:42:04.440 --> 00:42:19.230 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And everyone because of your success people just overlook it and say well that's just the way he is so you go from bulletproof to feeling as though you're invincible and then.

00:42:20.640 --> 00:42:30.510 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You spend time thinking you're invincible and you start taking even greater risks and making even poor decisions.

00:42:31.590 --> 00:42:51.300 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And now you think you're invisible and the point at which you feel you are invisible, that is when it's all going to go belly up and that's what happened with russ Berman and that's what happened with me and so basically you know all through my career.

00:42:52.590 --> 00:42:53.310 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I.

00:42:55.140 --> 00:43:01.830 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was, I thought that the reason why I was successful and I thought that the reason why people liked me.

00:43:02.670 --> 00:43:21.900 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And that people wanted to be coached by me and and, and the reason why I was successful was because of the way that I acted, though, because of my personality and to some extent yeah maybe that was a part of it, but the problem was that.

00:43:23.220 --> 00:43:32.520 Kevin Barbaro Productions: In my head and maybe some of it was subconscious maybe some of it was conscious I don't know but um I thought that.

00:43:35.340 --> 00:43:41.940 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It was it was that I wouldn't be successful if I didn't Act, the way that I did and and what I mean by that is like.

00:43:42.720 --> 00:43:52.440 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, I was always the guy that was up for a drink, I was always the guy that was up to go out and Party I would you know and.

00:43:53.250 --> 00:44:07.800 Kevin Barbaro Productions: What happened over the course of time, was that I allowed the gap between coach and athlete to shrink I would be going out to the bars same bars is the athletes we're at.

00:44:09.360 --> 00:44:17.970 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And and drinking in front of everybody, and this gradually got worse, to the point where.

00:44:18.450 --> 00:44:28.380 Kevin Barbaro Productions: There were times when I would even go to one of our night practices, and I would have a highball with me, I would have boobs with me, you know and.

00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:43.260 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Something illegal about it, you know there's nothing you know matter of fact, some of those nights of there's tailgating because in the marketplace you play football on the during the week, but you can't be that guy.

00:44:44.520 --> 00:44:51.600 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And then, at the same time demand or expect that people are going to respect you professional.

00:44:52.710 --> 00:45:15.180 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so what ended what ends up happening is you know, like, for me, I thought it was cool that I could go to any bar in Toledo, and the bartenders not only knew my name they knew who I was, which was you know part of the whole ego thing that I got wrapped up in and they knew what I drink.

00:45:16.350 --> 00:45:17.010 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and

00:45:18.150 --> 00:45:29.520 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, at the time i'm not thinking that's a big deal now looking back at is like Jesus why, why would I put myself in a position where i'm that guy and.

00:45:30.390 --> 00:45:47.160 Kevin Barbaro Productions: All of these poor decisions, and I was making and and and the real kicker is that I had dated a couple of my athletes now obviously we're not talking about high school kids here we're talking about college adults, but at the same time.

00:45:48.750 --> 00:45:49.980 Kevin Barbaro Productions: In the real world.

00:45:51.120 --> 00:45:56.400 Kevin Barbaro Productions: outside of the role of athletics, most people don't see what the issue is.

00:45:57.480 --> 00:46:16.650 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, because a 30 year old guy dating a 20 year old women is 21 year old woman isn't that outrageous, even if she worked for him, but in the world of athletics it's different it's different you you're supposed to be a.

00:46:17.970 --> 00:46:23.910 Kevin Barbaro Productions: parent figure you're supposed to be a profession your there's not supposed to be this shrinking of the gap.

00:46:24.750 --> 00:46:38.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Between the coach and athlete in that relationship in any way, because what shrinks is respect that's what shrinks and and not only that, but you start putting yourself in a position.

00:46:39.780 --> 00:46:46.800 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Where you don't even understand what people are saying about you when you're not around you know I always used to say.

00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:48.990 Kevin Barbaro Productions: To my athletes.

00:46:50.460 --> 00:46:58.710 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You need to be working on your legacy what are people going to say about you when you're gone What do people say about you when you're not around problem was.

00:46:59.340 --> 00:47:10.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I wasn't taking my own advice, because in my head, I thought, what people saw was this really successful coach this guy was always quick with a joke this guy that was funny.

00:47:11.220 --> 00:47:12.810 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I didn't realize.

00:47:14.190 --> 00:47:24.870 Kevin Barbaro Productions: That I was building this perception of me that you know that guy's kind of a drone you know the guy is a womanizer you know the guy is.

00:47:26.100 --> 00:47:37.380 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Not profession at all and I didn't really or either I didn't know it, or I just ignored it that this was the perception that I was building.

00:47:38.310 --> 00:47:51.780 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And this can happen anybody you don't have to be a coach for this to happen, and particularly in today's society where everybody's quick with a camera phone just asked urban Meyer and everybody is.

00:47:53.400 --> 00:48:06.600 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know, quick to put things on social media and to try and tear people down and when we come back from this commercial break i'm going to talk about how that perception that I had built.

00:48:07.290 --> 00:48:15.480 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Ultimately landed me homeless and i'll be back in just a minute on Kevin barbro and you're listening company talk excel on talk radio dot nyc.

00:50:15.750 --> 00:50:26.700 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Welcome back everybody to coffee talk XL on talk radio dot nyc i'm Kevin barbro and once again just tune in every week now at our new time it's seven o'clock Eastern.

00:50:27.240 --> 00:50:37.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And, or you can check us out the podcast or the replay after if you if you go to Facebook COM slash talk radio in my see all one word.

00:50:37.980 --> 00:50:52.320 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They keep the previous videos up and and so you can you can watch the video if, particularly if you are listening right now you're not watching and you want to see those kittens are up for adoption or or to be fostered.

00:50:53.430 --> 00:51:01.890 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know just check out the video replay so getting back to the discussion about being professional and how this.

00:51:03.180 --> 00:51:11.820 Kevin Barbaro Productions: perception, you know one thing about life that I learned really the hard way is that.

00:51:13.260 --> 00:51:14.640 Kevin Barbaro Productions: At the end of the day.

00:51:15.840 --> 00:51:22.170 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And i've mentioned this before on other shows my book, my buddy Mike Cunningham show, at the end of the day.

00:51:24.390 --> 00:51:34.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: People don't seek out the truth people don't even care about the truth, at this point what people care about is the perception isn't believable.

00:51:36.270 --> 00:51:38.040 Kevin Barbaro Productions: People immediately.

00:51:39.270 --> 00:51:44.850 Kevin Barbaro Productions: As soon as they hear something particularly something controversial they immediately.

00:51:45.990 --> 00:51:58.080 Kevin Barbaro Productions: make a decision that decision is an emotional decision that they make based on either a headline or photo or a 15 second video or less.

00:51:58.770 --> 00:52:18.150 Kevin Barbaro Productions: or a caption they'll read the headline they'll see the picture the read the caption and suddenly they already have a decision made on what happened and the side that they're going to take, and then they dig their heels in and they'll defend that to the end that's society now.

00:52:19.620 --> 00:52:34.980 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Also, a part of society, as we know, is that everybody feels as though they have a right to have an opinion about everything, but in their mind it's not an opinion we all have a right to an opinion right but.

00:52:36.690 --> 00:52:52.950 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Now people it's it's not an opinion about something in their mind it's the fact about something is this is the way it is not an opinion, even though it's, something that would completely be an opinion does God exists, my opinion is yes, someone else's opinion is no.

00:52:54.300 --> 00:52:57.870 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I don't know factually so i'm not going to dig my heels in.

00:52:59.160 --> 00:53:05.460 Kevin Barbaro Productions: person is atheist they don't know factually and they're going to dig their heels in, you know so.

00:53:06.900 --> 00:53:14.580 Kevin Barbaro Productions: When it comes to being professional, particularly if you're a coach but it doesn't have to be a coach coach actor, like me, a businessman like me.

00:53:15.900 --> 00:53:18.120 Kevin Barbaro Productions: A politician, no matter what it is.

00:53:19.320 --> 00:53:28.920 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You have to be conscious of the perception that you are building about yourself in that fishbowl in that pond that you live in.

00:53:30.330 --> 00:53:35.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: professionally or career wise, because at the end of the day.

00:53:36.750 --> 00:53:40.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: what's believable so what ended up happening with me.

00:53:41.220 --> 00:53:47.280 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Is that 15 years into my career at Toledo 22 years into my coaching career.

00:53:49.350 --> 00:53:51.900 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was falsely accused of sexual harassment.

00:53:53.760 --> 00:54:15.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And i'm not going to get into all the details about it, but I mean you're curious, you can Google it and find out, you know, but essentially I kicked someone off the team I leave to go to Poland for international meet I come back to find that that person at accuse me of sexual harassment.

00:54:16.950 --> 00:54:19.500 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Well, I went through the whole process and went through the.

00:54:20.520 --> 00:54:26.340 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Inner and i'm Jason that's not a discussion, you want to have with HR because when you walk into HR on this.

00:54:27.840 --> 00:54:33.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They don't care how six and matter of fact, that the lawyer for the State of Ohio that came in was like you know.

00:54:34.890 --> 00:54:36.000 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I know who you are.

00:54:38.250 --> 00:54:45.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: But I can tell you right now i'm only interested in the truth, I don't care how successful you are none of that means anything.

00:54:46.320 --> 00:54:58.800 Kevin Barbaro Productions: So you're you're better off just being honest, so I go through the whole thing and and, as it turns out, you know, obviously, after the this you know, two month long investigation i'm cleared of the sexual harassment, but.

00:54:59.820 --> 00:55:03.090 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The problem is part of this entire.

00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:18.060 Kevin Barbaro Productions: thing that made it believable was the fact that I had done so many made so many poor decisions personally the drinking, you know professionally dating an athlete.

00:55:19.110 --> 00:55:35.340 Kevin Barbaro Productions: ethically all the above right, so I I make all these poor decisions, and in my head i'm thinking well if if this ever comes up you know I still be able to keep my job i'll still be able to keep my career.

00:55:36.570 --> 00:55:38.160 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Because of my success.

00:55:39.420 --> 00:55:39.960 Kevin Barbaro Productions: well.

00:55:41.040 --> 00:55:55.890 Kevin Barbaro Productions: It got to the point where I had to admit to all of these different things that I had done over the years, so that I could clear myself of the sexual harassment and, at the end of the day, you know when it finally came down, they said, you know.

00:55:57.000 --> 00:56:02.850 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Obviously there there's there is no so you know, this is, you know this obviously was.

00:56:04.230 --> 00:56:08.070 Kevin Barbaro Productions: not the case and and you're cleared of this but.

00:56:09.540 --> 00:56:13.500 Kevin Barbaro Productions: How can we go back to the President of the university.

00:56:14.700 --> 00:56:26.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and honestly say to him, I think it's a good idea for you to continue to coach when you've already readily admitted to all these different things and and the perception.

00:56:27.990 --> 00:56:38.010 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And the fact about who you are what you've built up a reputation a negative reputation for yourself and at that point is.

00:56:39.750 --> 00:56:47.460 Kevin Barbaro Productions: The key man, I agree, you keep I get it, I get it, and you know for me.

00:56:49.350 --> 00:56:56.310 Kevin Barbaro Productions: That was the point of which everything bottom now you know I I I resign I I lose my career.

00:56:57.660 --> 00:57:06.420 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I lose my home I lose everything you know I I literally had to start off from scratch and thankfully, you know.

00:57:07.560 --> 00:57:10.620 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Whether it's God or whoever, or whatever reason.

00:57:12.600 --> 00:57:26.430 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I was able to bounce back from that you know I mean I obviously I moved to New York and everybody knows I lived out of my car for 18 months and and and became a full time actor and model or whatever.

00:57:27.510 --> 00:57:33.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Then I started my own company on a whim, and it took off and now there's two branches of that, and then I.

00:57:34.200 --> 00:57:44.370 Kevin Barbaro Productions: I started another company with one of my friends, a construction company, and now it took off and they were the largest construction company of its type in South Carolina.

00:57:44.910 --> 00:57:56.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so i've really been blessed along the way, I was able to recover from all of those poor decisions and move on, but I still miss coach I still miss it I.

00:57:57.390 --> 00:58:10.830 Kevin Barbaro Productions: miss the athletes I miss the excitement I missed the challenge of it but it's never going to happen for me again and I know that there are people out there, just like me, making these poor decisions.

00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:15.720 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Whether their personal or professional or ethical or whatever.

00:58:16.770 --> 00:58:22.140 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And it doesn't matter if you're a coach like I said actor businessman doesn't matter, what you are.

00:58:23.370 --> 00:58:28.590 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You have to be conscious about the footprints that you're leaving the world.

00:58:29.910 --> 00:58:38.430 Kevin Barbaro Productions: What people say about you, is important, you can't just go through life anymore say you know what I don't care what people think you know what you need to care what people think.

00:58:38.790 --> 00:58:49.050 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Because, at the end of the day, it's going to be those people that are going to play a part, into whether or not your your career or your life goes on the way you want it to and.

00:58:50.460 --> 00:58:57.510 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know I, the problem is in this way it's almost like alcoholics right or drug addicts.

00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:06.180 Kevin Barbaro Productions: They keep making excuses they keep living this lie right they keep living in this fairytale world where they think that they operate.

00:59:07.230 --> 00:59:13.200 Kevin Barbaro Productions: invisibly to everything that goes around them, and it isn't until it's too late.

00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:15.420 Kevin Barbaro Productions: it's too late.

00:59:18.090 --> 00:59:19.560 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And they lose everything.

00:59:21.120 --> 00:59:25.860 Kevin Barbaro Productions: it's only that every every addict that I know every addict that I know.

00:59:26.850 --> 00:59:37.140 Kevin Barbaro Productions: We didn't until it was too late, they waited until they lost everything to turn their life around and for some people that worked out for some people like my own sister it did she die.

00:59:37.830 --> 00:59:42.450 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Right her husband he died, and both of them was 100% due to alcohol.

00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:56.370 Kevin Barbaro Productions: And so it's the same thing with in this in the professional world if you're somebody that's making these decisions if you're somebody that's living this lifestyle and you think that you're operating behind the scenes you're not.

00:59:56.790 --> 01:00:06.870 Kevin Barbaro Productions: you're not fooling anybody and do the right thing, take the time now, before cut it off at the pass before it's too late.

01:00:07.770 --> 01:00:23.250 Kevin Barbaro Productions: and make better decisions, and you can avoid having to go through what I did and and a lot of people out world, just like me so anyway that's my spiel on being professional and being ethical and and just sharing my experience.

01:00:24.360 --> 01:00:31.770 Kevin Barbaro Productions: You know it sucks it was embarrassing you know that's life you got to move on and you can't cry yourself to sleep every night so.

01:00:32.520 --> 01:00:47.880 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Thankfully, you know, on I live the life that I do now and and i'm blessed with it, and I appreciate everybody that follows here next week i'm not sure if it's going to be live yet because i'm actually treating my family to a cruise I think I mentioned it earlier in the show.

01:00:48.990 --> 01:00:53.610 Kevin Barbaro Productions: we're going to the Bahamas excited about that, but I am still going to try and do the show live.

01:00:55.680 --> 01:01:09.630 Kevin Barbaro Productions: Where there's not going to whether or not it's going to work out we'll figure it out next Tuesday, but tune in every Tuesday at seven o'clock Eastern time here on talk radio dot nyc for coffee talk XL i'm Kevin Barbara and i'll see you next week.

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