[NEW EPISODE] The Power of Love

EPISODE SUMMARY:

This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam welcomes former Professional Baseball Player, Nonprofit Leader, Attorney, and Nationally Recognized Advocate for Ethical Non-Monogamy, Leon Feingold.

Leon has gained widespread attention for his TEDxBushwick talk on polyamory, where he shared his personal journey and challenged societal norms around love, intimacy, and relationship structures. His talk has inspired thousands to explore polyamory with greater compassion, honesty, and emotional intelligence.

Leon is the co-founder of polyamory support group Open Love NY and House of Good Deeds, a nonprofit dedicated to Altruism through mutual aid, sustainability, and community empowerment. His work recently earned him the title of New Yorker of the Week by NY1 for using love and generosity to build a kinder world.

Currently, Leon is writing a book that blends philosophy, personal narrative, and practical guidance on polyamory, compersion, and inclusive relationship ethics. The book is slated for release in Valentine's Day 2026 and will offer a fresh perspective on how love can be both expansive and deeply intentional.

Whether he's rescuing food for shelters in his brightly painted Good Deeds Bus or speaking on national

platforms about emotional transparency, Leon brings heart, intellect, and humor to every conversation. 

Tune in and share all of your questions and comments about power of love on our YouTube livestream or on our Facebook page.

‍

Show Notes

‍Segment 1:

In this opening segment of The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam Liebowitz explores the vital relationship between self-reliant individuals and the strength of the communities they help create. He emphasizes that true self-reliance is not about isolation, but about developing the inner competence and practical skills that empower us to serve others more effectively, especially in times of uncertainty and crisis. Drawing from both personal reflection and collective challenges like natural disasters, Sam invites spiritually conscious listeners to cultivate resilience and interdependence as a path toward deeper connection and community well-being.

Segment 2:

In this segment, Leon Feingold shares his personal journey from feeling like an outsider to discovering polyamory as a relationship model that deeply resonated with his values of authenticity, emotional honesty, and community. He explains that polyamory isn’t about excess but about intentional connection—honoring the reality that no one person can meet all of another’s needs, and that love thrives when expectations are rooted in openness and compatibility. Leon emphasizes that while polyamory offers expansive potential, it also requires clear communication, alignment, and emotional maturity—making it a deeply conscious path for those seeking soulful, integrated relationships.

Segment 3:

In this segment, Leon Feingold opens up about the real work and emotional depth involved in cultivating conscious polyamorous relationships, emphasizing that successful connections—like plants—require care, intention, and compatibility. He shares how living authentically in ethically non-monogamous partnerships has brought him profound emotional support, especially during tragedy, and highlights how “kitchen table polyamory” fosters a family-like web of mutual care and teamwork. Leon and Sam also reflect on how polyamory can expand love, resilience, and shared resources in a way that feels both deeply human and spiritually aligned with interdependence and compassion.

Segment 4:

In this closing segment, Leon Feingold shares his motivation behind writing Poly Smarts for Amorous Hearts—a book designed to offer inclusive, practical relationship wisdom rooted in polyamorous experience, but accessible to all. He reflects on the growing societal openness toward ethical non-monogamy, particularly among younger generations, while emphasizing that authenticity, informed choice, and emotional transparency are essential to healthy relationships of any kind. Leon also speaks to the privilege of living openly and hopes his work empowers others to explore love, connection, and identity beyond traditional expectations with courage and compassion.

Transcript

00:00:44.840 --> 00:01:10.989 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Good afternoon, my conscious co-creators. Welcome to another edition of the conscious Consultant hour awakening humanity. I am very, very pleased. You are all here with me today. We have another wonderful show in store for you today with a fascinating guest. I hope you'll stick around for it. But first, st of course, we have my blog post from a couple of years ago.

00:01:11.070 --> 00:01:20.470 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and this one kind of a different one. This one is entitled Self-reliant Individuals make self-reliant communities

00:01:21.380 --> 00:01:28.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: as human beings. We are social creatures. We live together, work together and relax together.

00:01:28.850 --> 00:01:33.959 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: One of our greatest strengths is our ability to work as a team.

00:01:34.550 --> 00:01:38.149 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yet the team is only as strong as the individual.

00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:41.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There is a balance that we all search for

00:01:42.150 --> 00:01:47.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: a balance between our commitment to ourselves and to our community.

00:01:50.070 --> 00:01:52.789 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to our families and our partner.

00:01:52.960 --> 00:01:59.260 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and maybe to ourselves. It is important for us to learn to work together.

00:01:59.900 --> 00:02:03.359 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to help each other and to support each other.

00:02:03.850 --> 00:02:13.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Learning to rely on each other is also a skill, one that can take us far if we are relying on the right people.

00:02:14.090 --> 00:02:21.130 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: while there is nothing wrong with relying on other people. Sometimes we must learn to rely on ourselves.

00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:27.819 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to figure things out for ourselves, and to do things by ourselves.

00:02:28.590 --> 00:02:36.750 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Learning how to fix something simple, or build something with our own hands is not just a valuable skill.

00:02:37.390 --> 00:02:43.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The process of being able to maintain things by ourselves, also builds our confidence.

00:02:43.960 --> 00:02:51.449 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We are literally showing ourselves that we are competent, that we can handle life.

00:02:51.960 --> 00:02:54.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that we are able to survive.

00:02:55.310 --> 00:03:09.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: This may not seem that important for people living in big cities or large communities, yet the people who are self-reliant even in the middle of an urban area are sought out for their skills.

00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:19.110 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: especially when there is an unexpected event or a natural disaster. Life will not always be cozy and safe for us.

00:03:19.350 --> 00:03:32.619 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Indeed, life is becoming more and more challenging in so many ways. When we learn to be the person that others rely on to help them, we can contribute greatly.

00:03:33.640 --> 00:03:41.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Not that we will never rely on other people. We will all need to rely on another when we age.

00:03:42.410 --> 00:03:51.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: yet if we can find within us the resources to face any challenge that may come our way, we will surely thrive and prosper.

00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:57.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and when we, as individuals, prosper, the community prospers as well.

00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:04.719 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: being self-reliant is not a reason to cut ourselves off from others.

00:04:05.450 --> 00:04:08.509 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Instead, it is quite the opposite.

00:04:09.340 --> 00:04:17.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: The more self-reliant we are, the more we can connect with others through our service.

00:04:19.060 --> 00:04:23.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So a couple of years ago

00:04:24.210 --> 00:04:30.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: we we took a little time, and we did some house sitting out in in Colorado.

00:04:30.850 --> 00:04:37.990 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and and we stayed at this woman's house who was

00:04:38.540 --> 00:04:43.709 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: not who who was in her seventies. She was an older woman.

00:04:44.270 --> 00:04:51.150 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: She had actually built the house with her husband, or at least they had added on to it. It was originally a little

00:04:51.250 --> 00:04:59.639 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: small piece, and they kept putting on editions, and her husband had passed away. I think it had been 6 or 7 years before.

00:05:00.980 --> 00:05:09.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it was on top of a mountain, up a dirt road, probably about a mile from the hive from the paved road.

00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:15.209 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and my wife and I were just fascinated at how self-reliant this woman was.

00:05:16.090 --> 00:05:25.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: how she she took care of everything. She took care of the grounds, and and it was, you know, on top of a mountain. She had acres of of property on the top of the mountain.

00:05:26.717 --> 00:05:31.169 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: You know. The nearest neighbor was about half a mile down the dirt road.

00:05:33.291 --> 00:05:39.790 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And it was such a different way of living than what we're used to in New York City.

00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:50.460 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: where we're surrounded by people, and where, like I and I know people in my apartment building who.

00:05:50.670 --> 00:06:01.910 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know, something goes wrong with any little electrical device plumbing phone whatever. You know, I'm usually the one they ask for help.

00:06:03.270 --> 00:06:06.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and so I was just reflecting on

00:06:06.900 --> 00:06:11.339 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: sort of this balance, because it also had been something I felt was in the

00:06:11.530 --> 00:06:18.299 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: public conversation a bit more about being self-reliant, and I felt that

00:06:18.770 --> 00:06:25.820 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there was this point which I think people tend to miss when they talk about self-reliance.

00:06:26.110 --> 00:06:36.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: where they talk about, you know, you know, not having to rely on anybody else, and and being able to do things yourself and and all this stuff. And and

00:06:38.870 --> 00:06:50.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know we live in society. We live in a culture. We live with other people and being self-reliant.

00:06:52.220 --> 00:07:06.959 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: it's a very valuable skill. And, as I said in the post, it's really about showing us that we're competent, showing ourselves that we're competent. It builds our confidence, it builds our internal emotional muscles.

00:07:09.490 --> 00:07:13.230 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But self-reliant does not mean isolated.

00:07:14.110 --> 00:07:26.450 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that's the thing I think sometimes confuses. They think if you're self-reliant, then you don't need anybody else, then you can live off on your own and and not interact with other people.

00:07:27.740 --> 00:07:32.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I kind of feel that they're missing the point. And it's actually the exact opposite

00:07:34.260 --> 00:07:39.490 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that living in community communities need self-reliant people.

00:07:39.650 --> 00:07:43.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Communities need people who know how to do different things.

00:07:46.300 --> 00:07:57.850 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and maybe one person is good at the plumbing, and another person is good at the electricity, and someone else is good at growing things, and someone else is good at cooking things. And we can all bring our different talents.

00:07:59.780 --> 00:08:04.600 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And just because we know how to do a lot of things doesn't mean we do a lot of things. Well.

00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:18.129 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: so I just, I felt called at the time to write this blog post. And and in some ways this is, I think, very timely with what just happened in Texas.

00:08:18.440 --> 00:08:20.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I think it highlights.

00:08:20.420 --> 00:08:29.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There are more. And and what's happened over the last year or 2, with all the natural disasters we've been experiencing in the United States and around the world.

00:08:31.650 --> 00:08:34.689 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But you know, who knows when

00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:48.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: a hurricane, a tornado earthquake, a flood, when something is going to hit, that's gonna knock out our power and knock out our our means of of how we normally do things.

00:08:50.620 --> 00:08:53.020 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, knowing how to

00:08:53.630 --> 00:09:03.580 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: survive, knowing how to be self-reliant when the things we typically rely on are no longer there. I kind of feel like is a skill

00:09:04.260 --> 00:09:13.710 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that more and more and more of us need to develop as time goes on, because right now

00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:19.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: there is absolutely no indication that the weather is going to get any

00:09:19.980 --> 00:09:24.309 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: less extreme anytime soon. As a matter of fact.

00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:29.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all the evidence, all the science, all the data points to it getting more extreme.

00:09:32.120 --> 00:09:42.809 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So the more extreme the weather gets that stresses on our the whole system of how society functions and works.

00:09:47.020 --> 00:09:51.839 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And so for me. This blog post is a call

00:09:54.170 --> 00:10:00.349 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: for us to create self-reliant communities where we are right here right now today.

00:10:01.810 --> 00:10:10.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And look, I'm a native New Yorker. I've lived here my whole life. I know a lot of people who've moved out of New York in the last 5, 10 years

00:10:11.030 --> 00:10:13.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and moving other places.

00:10:14.260 --> 00:10:19.839 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: It doesn't matter where you live doesn't matter if it's in a big city or in the countryside or in the suburbs.

00:10:23.730 --> 00:10:28.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: might just behoove us all to learn a new skill

00:10:28.370 --> 00:10:37.099 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: to learn something that we can use to help ourselves and help the community at large, should something happen.

00:10:37.300 --> 00:10:43.650 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I'm not saying I'm not predicting that anything is going to happen in my community or your community.

00:10:45.410 --> 00:10:51.620 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But how much more internal safety would you have

00:10:52.440 --> 00:10:57.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if you knew you were competent at something. Should things

00:10:57.460 --> 00:11:00.709 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: suddenly fall apart. For whatever reason.

00:11:03.250 --> 00:11:12.900 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm not saying we should all be doomsday preppers. I'm not saying we should be survivalists. I'm not saying, you know you should grow a vegetable garden in your apartment.

00:11:15.330 --> 00:11:18.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: but maybe just learn something.

00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:24.289 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Take better care of your houseplant, so you know how to grow things in general. Maybe

00:11:24.640 --> 00:11:29.120 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: sprouts. I know a lot of people love to sprout things in their apartments.

00:11:29.470 --> 00:11:32.070 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If you have a backyard and you have

00:11:32.310 --> 00:11:35.740 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: some land, maybe try growing something

00:11:36.590 --> 00:11:50.559 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: nowadays. Information is readily available all over the Internet. Maybe look for some videos on how do you change a pipe or a faucet or a light switch.

00:11:51.950 --> 00:11:56.550 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Look, don't do anything unsafe. I'm not telling you to go and rewire your whole house.

00:11:58.070 --> 00:12:08.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm just saying, maybe maybe if enough of us learn some skill that would serve us

00:12:09.180 --> 00:12:12.810 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: if things aren't suddenly weren't the way they are today.

00:12:13.040 --> 00:12:17.920 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There are enough of us that we can rely on each other.

00:12:18.190 --> 00:12:24.919 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We don't all don't have to know everything. But if we all know a piece of something that makes for a very strong community.

00:12:26.420 --> 00:12:45.689 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So that's my blog post for today. Title, again, is self-reliant. Individuals make self-reliant communities, and of course you can always find my blog post on theconsciousconsultant.com as well as on talkradio dot nyc slash blog.

00:12:46.520 --> 00:12:51.509 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: all right. And now it is my extreme pleasure to welcome to the show

00:12:51.570 --> 00:13:05.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: former professional baseball player, nonprofit, leader, attorney, and nationally recognized advocate for ethical non-monogamy. Leon Feingold Leon has gained widespread attention for his Tedx Bushwick

00:13:05.700 --> 00:13:23.009 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: talk on Polyamory where he shared his personal journey and challenged societal norms around love, intimacy, and relationship structures. His talk has inspired thousands to explore Polyamory with greater compassion, honesty, and emotional intelligence.

00:13:23.060 --> 00:13:39.079 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Leon is the co-founder of polyamory support group of the polyamory support group, open love, and why and the House of Good Deeds, a nonprofit dedicated to altruism through mutual aid, sustainability, and community empowerment.

00:13:39.080 --> 00:14:02.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: His work recently earned him the title of New Yorker of the Week, by Ny. One for using love and generosity to build a kinder world. Currently, Leon is writing a book that blends philosophy, personal narrative, and practical guidance on polyamory compersion and inclusion, inclusive relationship ethics. The book is slated for release on Valentine's Day next year.

00:14:02.830 --> 00:14:09.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and we'll offer a fresh perspective on how love can be both expansive and deeply intentional. Welcome to the conscious consultant hour, Leon.

00:14:10.930 --> 00:14:13.150 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Thanks for having me, Sam. I'm looking forward to our conversation.

00:14:13.150 --> 00:14:16.405 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Me as well me as well.

00:14:17.750 --> 00:14:26.190 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I have so many questions for you just just before we need to take a quick break in a minute. But I'm just curious. Do you have a working title for your book yet?

00:14:27.010 --> 00:14:28.263 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I do

00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:40.750 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: always being a fan of watching queer eye for the straight guy. I like the idea of experts sharing their advice. So the one of the working titles is Poly smarts for amorous hearts.

00:14:41.738 --> 00:14:52.939 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Okay, and and I'm just curious. Would you say, like, you've always looked at things in society

00:14:53.190 --> 00:15:02.769 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: from a different perspective? Or was this idea of embracing something that very much goes against our societal norms? Was this something that kind of came later in life for you.

00:15:03.637 --> 00:15:11.060 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think I always grew up looking at society from the outside in, I mean, obviously, after the break we'll talk about it a lot more. But I think

00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:25.959 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: living through some experiences myself really changed or shaped the way that I look at relationships. And it made all of a sudden, like a switch just flipped. And all of a sudden the polyamory made so much sense for me, and I learned that it might make sense for others as well.

00:15:26.180 --> 00:15:47.280 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, yeah, beautiful, beautiful. Okay, great. So we're gonna take a quick break when we come back. I wanna talk about your journey a bit more. Some of the challenges that you faced along the way. What you discovered, what you learned that supported this idea, and we'll we'll see where the conversation goes from. There. Okay.

00:15:47.950 --> 00:15:48.330 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Excellent.

00:15:48.330 --> 00:15:58.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Awesome. So everyone, please stay tuned. You're listening to the conscious, consultant hour awakening humanity, my guest, this hour is Leon Feingold, and we'll be right back after these messages.

00:17:44.530 --> 00:17:52.840 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And welcome back to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. We're speaking this hour with Leon Feingold.

00:17:52.950 --> 00:17:58.889 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, Leon, 1st thing I got to ask you. You're a former professional baseball player. I never asked you, what team did you play for?

00:17:59.764 --> 00:18:08.289 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: At the time we were called the Cleveland Indians. I was in this room for 2 years, but I played professionally for 6 seasons, including 2 with the Atlantic League

00:18:08.390 --> 00:18:10.409 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and 2 in the Baseball League.

00:18:10.930 --> 00:18:16.999 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh, nice, nice! Nice and and and and how come you stopped playing.

00:18:17.860 --> 00:18:20.769 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: My brain was willing, my shoulder was not.

00:18:21.400 --> 00:18:26.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yes, the body. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

00:18:28.520 --> 00:18:29.630 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah.

00:18:31.390 --> 00:18:39.100 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and so what? What sort of brought you to this idea of polyamory. What brought you to this idea of of

00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:44.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: looking at relationships from a completely different way than traditional society looks at them.

00:18:46.250 --> 00:19:00.119 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I always grew up sort of awkward. I was always the weird kid. I I was smart. I skipped 1st grade because I already was reading in pre-k like I was. I was always so like

00:19:00.630 --> 00:19:07.600 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I was advanced with my brain, but socially, not so much so. I always felt like an outsider, I mean, I think at some point

00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:20.029 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: most kids in elementary school feel to some extent like outsiders. It's not till much later till we find our people, we find our way to fit in. But there's a lot of

00:19:20.570 --> 00:19:26.189 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: peer pressure on kids to fit in to to go to any lengths at all to avoid standing out.

00:19:26.380 --> 00:19:34.030 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: And it isn't until we go through college we come into ourselves that we understand the value of of standing out. In fact, the importance

00:19:34.190 --> 00:19:51.409 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: of standing out. But when you're a young kid, and everyone's trying to be, you know, to fit in or be teased, or or be pressured into being. Like everyone else. Most kids don't learn. I mean teaching kids about sex teaching kids about relationship teaching kids about like adult

00:19:51.840 --> 00:20:07.480 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: topics is kind of hard to come by unless you're very lucky, and you have great parents, great guardians, great, great mentors. So I think I grew up on the outside looking in. I was very awkward. I never had a conversation with a girl till I was out of high school pretty much

00:20:07.790 --> 00:20:08.350 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Wow!

00:20:08.350 --> 00:20:19.529 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: So I watched all these other kids and people having relationships, and always seemed slightly off the concept of the expectations like, How are you supposed to ever meet one person who is everything you could possibly want.

00:20:19.820 --> 00:20:23.420 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and that never really made sense to me, even as a young adult.

00:20:23.700 --> 00:20:34.730 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: And then I met a woman named Beth on an Okaycupid dating site. This is back when it 1st started, and they took me in with the IQ test. And and I use that as my dating

00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:52.750 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: pool. And I met this girl named Beth, who described herself as polyamorous. I said, What is I mean? I know the Greek and Roman roots that many loves. But what does that mean? What does that look like? She said. Well, you and I are going to go out and have dinner on Saturday, while my boyfriend is having a date at our apartment.

00:20:52.970 --> 00:20:55.150 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I was like, wait, wait! What? How, how?

00:20:55.450 --> 00:21:07.369 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: How does that work. How can you do it? So over dinner, she explained, the concept of how their relationship works and every polyamorous relationship is slightly different. It basically allows you to substitute the what I call the relationship Bible

00:21:07.550 --> 00:21:15.549 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: for the choose your own adventure version. You get to decide what ship looks like, and understanding that this not only was possible.

00:21:15.910 --> 00:21:26.409 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: but worked and worked really well, for this couple made me realize that the expectations I had of you know, looking for that one person to be happy with forever.

00:21:27.340 --> 00:21:51.880 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: while it might work well for some people fewer than anyone thinks, I believe, but the idea that it could work and work sustainably, and make people happier. Going forward was really exciting to me, and the more I learned about it, the more I got excited about the concept of polyamory, and within a few months I was volunteering with the local polyamory group. I actually founded one called Open Love, New York.

00:21:52.570 --> 00:22:09.359 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and it actually became the largest polyamory support group on the east coast of New York. So I guess something right. But at any rate it it kind of triggered this growth in me to the point where I identify as polyamorous, and I've shared my thoughts with at this point. Millions of people.

00:22:09.740 --> 00:22:15.339 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, yeah, I I. Several years ago I interviewed a filmmaker by the name of Roger.

00:22:15.340 --> 00:22:15.710 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I know.

00:22:15.710 --> 00:22:36.049 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Garden. He did a sort of a documentary style movie called The Truth about Marriage, where he explored all kinds of different aspects of marriage, including alternate kinds of relationships. And I just remember because something you said, I just remember that there was this one couple, one polyamorous couple that he interviewed

00:22:36.694 --> 00:22:39.119 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and it was actually 2 women.

00:22:39.250 --> 00:22:54.379 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and one woman was saying, you know, we're not needs machines. It's not like you put a quarter in and you get a need out from us. We all have different needs and and all these different needs. You're never going to find them in just one person.

00:22:54.840 --> 00:23:04.530 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that it kind of makes sense to like look towards different people for for finding

00:23:04.940 --> 00:23:08.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: what you want out of a relationship, and not just one person.

00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:36.199 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and from what I understand, there have been a number of books written about it. Sapiens, sex at dawn, a lot of books that sort of explored the roots of relationships. And from what I remember reading about, you know, they said that way back, when when we were just hunter gatherers, that this whole idea of one person to one person. Marriage didn't exist.

00:23:36.420 --> 00:23:43.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and that, like you, had small tribes, and like everyone's sleeping with everyone and the children, was everyone's tribes right?

00:23:44.430 --> 00:23:53.949 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Yeah, I mean, actually, one of my favorite books was, in fact, sex. At dawn Chris Ryan and his wife, whose name, unfortunately, I cannot pronounce just. Silta.

00:23:54.470 --> 00:24:01.749 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Oh, God, I'm so sorry! So I actually was invited to speak alongside them at south by southwest several years ago.

00:24:01.750 --> 00:24:02.510 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Oh!

00:24:02.510 --> 00:24:16.100 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It was a really compelling explanation about societally why humans are not inherently monogamous, why we use it effectively as a demonstration of

00:24:16.290 --> 00:24:18.160 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: our devotion to someone that we love.

00:24:18.700 --> 00:24:21.249 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: In short, I

00:24:21.940 --> 00:24:29.259 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: think of it for most people as agreeing to tie your offhand behind your back, so tie your left hand behind your back

00:24:29.820 --> 00:24:46.690 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: as proof of my dedication to you, my monogamous partner, and I expect you to tie your hand behind your back. We can still live our lives just won't get everything we want. We won't be as comfortable. We won't get to do the things we want to do, but you'll know that I'm committed to you, and I'll know that you're committed to me. And for some people

00:24:46.940 --> 00:24:49.259 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: that sort of metaphorical

00:24:50.310 --> 00:25:01.119 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: demonstration is valuable and important. But for someone like me, and for, unfortunately, I think most people, including those who are

00:25:02.090 --> 00:25:21.359 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: monogamous, but feeling something missing. The idea of sacrificing a need or a want in order to prove devotion is counterproductive to being happy. And I think the relationships, the best relationships are ones that make everyone involved happy. And it's honestly that simple.

00:25:21.970 --> 00:25:28.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, yeah, I'm curious. What what brought you to be so

00:25:29.540 --> 00:25:34.029 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: passionate about this topic that you actually did a Tedx talk on it.

00:25:37.120 --> 00:25:43.930 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think once I realized how much the concept of polyamory applied to me and made me

00:25:44.080 --> 00:26:03.449 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: basically created a sea change in my brain to understand that what I've been taught was not necessarily the way things were particularly for me and for others. It made me want to share that knowledge with others. My goal is not to make people polyamorous. My goal is to make people aware of polyamory, and I think.

00:26:03.450 --> 00:26:03.870 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And.

00:26:03.870 --> 00:26:11.378 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Through the book, through the Ted Talk, through the appearances on on movies and and press.

00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:41.779 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It's something that I've been very proud of proud to say that I've really opened up, or I've been part of a movement in opening up some eyes. Remember, you know, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, when we started this, nobody really knew what Polyamory was. They thought it was some weird key swapping throwback to the 19 sixties Free love movement. They didn't realize that it was something which was actively, you know, a workable, sustainable blueprint for healthy relationships.

00:26:42.080 --> 00:26:48.180 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, yeah, you know, I always find it so curious that some of the greatest

00:26:49.010 --> 00:26:52.310 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: stories that had tragic endings

00:26:53.720 --> 00:27:00.670 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: had Polyamory been an acceptable part of society at the time. Those tragic endings wouldn't be tragic endings.

00:27:01.030 --> 00:27:03.890 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Absolutely every Shakespearean play would have had a happy ending.

00:27:03.890 --> 00:27:10.869 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Right, or or like the tale of of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. You know, if.

00:27:11.810 --> 00:27:16.860 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Guinevere and Lancelot. King Arthur did their thing, and everyone was okay with it would have been fine.

00:27:19.850 --> 00:27:24.079 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I'm curious. How long ago. Did you do your Tedx Tedx talk.

00:27:24.830 --> 00:27:29.010 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It was 2016, so less than 10 years ago, but not much less.

00:27:29.010 --> 00:27:38.540 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I did. My Tedx talks 2016 as well. That's pretty funny. Yeah, I'm curious. Mine was on consciousness, though not not on polyamory.

00:27:38.540 --> 00:27:39.370 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Surprise.

00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:45.239 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What kind of response did you get from the Tedx talk initially.

00:27:47.057 --> 00:27:50.452 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It was initially hosted. Not on Tedx. There's a

00:27:51.110 --> 00:27:55.819 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: There's a procedure that goes with Tedx talks which obviously, you know. But your listeners may not.

00:27:56.248 --> 00:28:22.010 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It doesn't get hosted immediately on Youtube. It doesn't get immediately hosted on the Tedx Channel. We did ours at an organization called livestream. It was hosted on their own website, and we had a couple 100,000 views within the 1st several months. And then it transitioned to Youtube and Tedx. So I'm up to. I think over half a million views on this talk alone.

00:28:23.470 --> 00:28:47.089 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: The responses have been uniformly exactly what I was hoping for a lot of people are really excited about a lot of people have questions which is completely legitimate. But the amount of eyes that have been opened, and the questions that have been back and forth are really heartening to me. I really love the idea of sharing knowledge and being a resource, whether in my personal life, or writ large.

00:28:47.340 --> 00:28:49.980 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, yeah, wonderful, wonderful.

00:28:50.240 --> 00:29:17.129 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: We just got a minute or so before our next break, because I do want to talk about the challenges. But before we get there we mentioned sex at dawn. Are there any other sources of books, materials, movies that you've seen that help to really, that you use for educating yourself. That really helped you to understand this whole idea better.

00:29:18.340 --> 00:29:32.820 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: There's no shortage of books on Polyamory. More than 2 is one of the more well-known ones. I think it's by Tristan Taramino. I could be mistaken on that, though there's a lot of really well-known sex positive writers. The Ethical Slut.

00:29:32.850 --> 00:30:02.100 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: by Betty Dodson and Dass Easton is one of the seminal books in the concept of ethical non-monogamy. It's a little outdated, but it was massive when it came out, and of course there's all sorts of research from the Kinsey Institute, one of my colleagues in the sex positive Education world. Dr. Jana Varangalova, has an online Podcast of sorts. She's also a professor at Nyu studying human sexuality.

00:30:02.810 --> 00:30:03.850 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It is.

00:30:04.810 --> 00:30:12.380 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It is wonderful to have so many resources, but as far as I know, there's no real book doing what

00:30:12.670 --> 00:30:33.220 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Poly smarts for amorous hearts, promises to do, which is sort of using what the polyamory sphere has to teach, and specifically targeting a non poly generic vanilla quote unquote, normal, accessible to everyone book. And that's 1 of the reasons why I'm really focused on writing.

00:30:33.930 --> 00:30:46.428 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Cool, cool, all right. So I want to talk about your upcoming book after the break. But I also want to talk 1st about some of the challenges, like what? What have been some of the struggles, some of the things that made it difficult, and

00:30:47.280 --> 00:30:49.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and yeah, like, just just.

00:30:49.450 --> 00:31:01.050 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: you know, what are some of the things that it's good to be aware of, because sometimes when people hear contemplations. Oh, I think it's great, and they jump into it, and they realize, oh, it's not quite as easy as it sounds, is it?

00:31:02.500 --> 00:31:03.780 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: That's probably true.

00:31:04.083 --> 00:31:04.689 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: I think.

00:31:04.890 --> 00:31:27.440 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: If you have good mentors and you're part of a supportive community, you get disabused of some of the incorrect notions very quickly. If you don't live in an area you don't have access to mentors. You don't really know what you're doing. You may think it's great getting what you want, but you have to understand. It's not as you say, it's not that simple. It's not as easy as just opening up a relationship.

00:31:27.660 --> 00:31:28.690 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: And

00:31:29.060 --> 00:31:42.230 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know everything works great. If you're on the same page as your partner or partners, everything will work well. In fact, one of the biggest lessons of the Ted Talk was that love is easy. Compatibility is hard.

00:31:43.250 --> 00:31:50.550 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Love with each other if they allow themselves to just like Hollywood says it's actually true, you know, all you need is an opportunity and vulnerability.

00:31:51.190 --> 00:32:09.080 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: literally the only 2 things you need to fall in love with something, but love enough to make a relationship. It really really isn't and, in fact, being in love with somebody with whom you're incompatible is a red flag, because if you keep having problems, you keep hitting in the same wall again and again, and you only

00:32:09.120 --> 00:32:32.570 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: can stay in the relationship and move past an issue by ignoring it or by punting it down the road. That's that's red flag. And if you're not compatible, if any, and no matter how many people are in relationships, each of them is made up of multiple dyads. So if there's a monogamous, if it's 2 people, if there's a polyamorous triad, then it's, you know, 6 or 3 relationships, because A would be B to CC to A.

00:32:34.140 --> 00:32:50.359 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: The whole point is to make sure that everybody matches everybody's needs and wants fit, and if they don't fit all of them, the idea is that everyone is a puzzle piece. Everyone, you know, can match other people in certain ways, and if you only connect with somebody in a sexual manner.

00:32:50.620 --> 00:32:59.750 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: it is okay. As long as everyone's on the same page. And your relationship fits the grand scale, the big picture. It's okay to have sexual relationship with somebody.

00:33:01.220 --> 00:33:01.790 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: This.

00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:26.639 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, if you love opera, and you find somebody who loves opera and also loves going with you to the animal shelter to feed animals like whatever you need to just find the matches. Just find the places where your plugs match, and if you can build that into a relationship that is respectful of each other's relationships. It's really you're building connections in ways that make everybody happy.

00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:31.280 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It sort of takes the expectation of one partner being everything

00:33:31.630 --> 00:33:45.009 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: physical, intimate, tactile, sexual, romantic with each other, and it kind of splits it up. You don't have to. If you find somebody who matches you in all those important ways that's beautiful, and that's amazing, and go for it.

00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:48.119 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: But if you can find those pieces

00:33:49.810 --> 00:33:57.810 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and match them up with different people in ways that is respectful to everyone else's needs and everyone else's relationships. It's it's beautiful. It's like a.

00:33:58.060 --> 00:34:19.669 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: it's like a complex engine that has so many different parts that work well together. The possibilities are endless, as opposed to somebody who may very well only want one or 2 pieces in their little relationship machine, and if that works for them, then great. But as somebody who craves variety and craves new experiences and craves connection with people.

00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:27.900 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Being able to live in a healthy way while developing relationships with different people over different things. And and

00:34:28.130 --> 00:34:54.149 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: to be honest, polyamory is not usually about sex sex variety is more important to me than sex, but variety is obviously important for many people, especially when, according to social taboos, it's forbidden. And of course we don't know what happens when you tell somebody not to do something, especially if it's human. You want it. You do things. You make poor decisions in order to get it. So there's a whole lot there to talk about.

00:34:54.159 --> 00:35:08.569 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Okay, let's leave it there for the moment we got to take a break. When we come back we'll continue on about the challenges and maybe give some pointers to our audience. And let's get into your book. Okay.

00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:09.720 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Absolutely. Thanks.

00:35:09.720 --> 00:35:17.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All right, everyone, please stay tuned. You're listening to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity, and we'll be right back in just a moment.

00:36:53.850 --> 00:37:03.429 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So back when I was in college, I believe, or it might have been right after college. I remember going down to a Science Fiction convention in Atlanta.

00:37:03.780 --> 00:37:11.529 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: and I was walking around the dealer's room, and there were different, you know, dealers selling stuff. And and there was this guy

00:37:11.830 --> 00:37:20.060 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: with 2 women behind one table, and they were selling different handcrafts and other things art, art stuff.

00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:29.069 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And I start. I struck up a conversation with him, and he's like, Oh, this is my wife, and this is my lover. And I'm like what?

00:37:29.180 --> 00:37:37.329 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and we I said, Wow! And we started talking about. And I go. That must be a lot of work. And he said, Oh, my God, you have no idea.

00:37:37.590 --> 00:37:43.340 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and I think that's 1 of the things that people tend to

00:37:44.330 --> 00:37:50.929 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: gloss over when they hear about this idea of oh, open relationship. Polyamory, I can see. Whoever I want

00:37:51.430 --> 00:37:57.539 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: is that relationships, even good relationships are a lot of work

00:37:57.890 --> 00:38:06.410 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: like like they normally don't just happen. And and it's not like you, you can just show up and and do anything like

00:38:06.660 --> 00:38:13.210 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: relationships are like plants. You got to water them. You got to fertilize them. You got to make sure they get enough sun.

00:38:13.340 --> 00:38:16.700 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And and so I'm just curious

00:38:17.240 --> 00:38:19.929 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: like for yourself, what has been

00:38:20.150 --> 00:38:30.640 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: in your own relationships, what's been the most work or the most challenge around really cultivating a conscious, polyamorous relationship.

00:38:32.470 --> 00:38:43.810 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think in the general. I'll answer the question about me in a moment, but I think in general it must have been, you know, years ago, extremely difficult to

00:38:44.300 --> 00:38:50.850 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: not only maintain healthy relationships, ethically, non-monogamous relationships with multiple partners

00:38:51.140 --> 00:39:12.340 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: dealing with each other's personalities and needs and wants, but also dealing with constant social pressure. I feel like for every issue that especially families have within themselves. They have 10 more from people outside who look at them say, you can't do that. It's not appropriate whether it's work or

00:39:12.520 --> 00:39:26.630 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: school or peer groups. Basically every interaction you have. As soon as you have that conversation as soon as you say this is my wife. This is my lover, I mean. Obviously they've gotten to the point where they were comfortable enough to say that even, you know, decades ago.

00:39:27.150 --> 00:39:28.000 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: But

00:39:29.640 --> 00:39:35.599 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think it can be very draining, having to explain yourself again and again, and I think anyone can understand that.

00:39:36.259 --> 00:39:43.450 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: For me, however, living in, you know, 2025 where it has, through no small part of

00:39:43.630 --> 00:39:49.420 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know me a little bit, but but like the Titans in the ethically ethical, non monogamous world, ranging from like.

00:39:49.530 --> 00:40:00.480 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, Esther Perel and and Dr. Ruth, and just like so many people that are acknowledging and respecting the validity of ethical non-monogamy.

00:40:00.976 --> 00:40:23.490 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think it's much easier, and it's back to the way it should be, for the most part, which is the issues you have in your relationships come from within the relationships. Mostly, that's not to say there's still not major swaths of this country and this planet that are still extremely, for lack of a better word, conservative, slash, regressive when it comes to polyamory or ethical non-monogamy.

00:40:23.950 --> 00:40:34.239 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: But I mean in your open. You talked about living in a major metropolis like New York. I mean, this is one of the most liberal cities in the world outside Black Rock City at Burning Man.

00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:35.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah.

00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:41.639 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: So the idea, speaking of you know, radical self reliance. So

00:40:41.950 --> 00:40:57.269 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. Well that that applies to relationships, too. I mean, everyone here is extremely more than most places. New York is a very liberal accepting. Educated, you know. You do you kind of place? So I think.

00:40:57.430 --> 00:40:58.110 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and

00:40:58.290 --> 00:41:10.839 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: living here for me, the biggest challenges I've found in polyamory are simply just finding and developing compatible relationships. Because the more compatible you are.

00:41:11.830 --> 00:41:24.360 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: the less effort is needed to put in. I mean, if 2 people were. And again, this is just hypothetical, perfectly compatible. They both wanted exactly the same things from each other, not mirroring, but matching each other. Very important.

00:41:25.230 --> 00:41:35.139 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: If your needs are being met by your relationship, and you, being yourself, is matching your partner's wants and needs. Whether that's singular or plural is irrelevant.

00:41:35.530 --> 00:41:52.380 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: then you don't have to have any additional troublesome communication other than you know. Pass the milk at the breakfast table. It's really that simple. So yes, it's like tending to a garden, but if you're raising a pet rock. You don't really have to do that much.

00:41:52.960 --> 00:41:53.540 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I've been

00:41:53.540 --> 00:42:10.830 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: best relationships are pet rocks. Probably put them in the book. Maybe it's a cactus. Maybe it's a cactus you still need to check in. You still need to every once in a while say, Hey, how are things? Are we okay? Is everything good. But if you're really a good match with the person or people you're dating.

00:42:10.950 --> 00:42:17.739 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, everything really can go so smoothly. You think you're dreaming. I mean, each of us either know or have

00:42:18.030 --> 00:42:23.890 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: have known, or have known, of people who are in relationships, no matter what their structure, monogamous or otherwise.

00:42:24.040 --> 00:42:26.730 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: where they just seem to fit together so well.

00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:31.480 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: now seeming to fit together so well, can sometimes be a facade.

00:42:31.590 --> 00:42:41.750 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: But there are people who just match each other so well they glow. They're happy, at least for any given moment. People may be optimally paired with each other, and it's beautiful.

00:42:42.333 --> 00:42:45.159 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: So I'm just really excited to, to

00:42:46.580 --> 00:42:53.599 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: intentionally and happily build relationships with people who match me, and vice versa.

00:42:54.300 --> 00:42:57.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Now, just because you believe in

00:42:57.530 --> 00:43:01.539 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: ethical non-monogamy doesn't mean you don't believe in marriage, does it?

00:43:02.310 --> 00:43:15.289 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: No, not at all. I just got married a couple months ago, and I was married once before. Unfortunately my wife passed away, which is a whole, other podcast in and of itself. It's how we founded the House of Good Deeds to pay forward the help that we received when my wife was sick.

00:43:15.717 --> 00:43:21.330 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: In fact, one of the people who was among the most supportive when my wife was sick was my current wife.

00:43:21.330 --> 00:43:21.830 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: No.

00:43:21.830 --> 00:43:41.709 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: She and I have been together for 9 years, and my wife only passed away 8 years ago. So I was actually dating my current wife at the time before my 1st wife got sick before we got sick, and we were all supportive of each other, and that's to be honest, and this is a little off the conversational path. But I do not understand how

00:43:43.140 --> 00:43:53.249 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: monogamous people can survive emotionally the loss, the death a loved one without the network of support, provided.

00:43:54.500 --> 00:44:01.050 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, multiple people. And in a polyamorous relationship, the people that were the most supportive were my partners, her partner

00:44:01.470 --> 00:44:02.060 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: powerful.

00:44:02.060 --> 00:44:12.709 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: our lovers. Our families came together to provide support. And you don't need a tragedy to have that. I practice what's called kitchen table Poly. The idea is, everyone can. Just.

00:44:12.840 --> 00:44:26.130 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, my partners, your partners, our friends, can all sit together at a kitchen table, and some of us make food, some of us clean up, and everyone they don't have to be intimate with each other, but they can all be on the same team and and visualizing that has been really helpful for me.

00:44:26.130 --> 00:44:34.170 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Wow, wow! Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. One of the things about polyamory that to me, I thought made a lot of sense was.

00:44:35.560 --> 00:44:43.389 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: If if you just have 2 people together in a relationship. You only have in in some sense, the resources of 2 people.

00:44:43.970 --> 00:45:13.200 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: But if you have a 3rd person, a 4th person, a 5th person, a 6th person in an intimate relationship together that are all committed to each other. Now, you've exponentially increased the resources and by resources. I don't just mean money, I mean, like people who can be there. If someone's sick people who can be there to watch the kids. If you can't watch the kids, you know, people who can be there for each other in the best and worst of times. To me it just seemed

00:45:13.310 --> 00:45:19.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: like it made sense from a from just a pure

00:45:20.730 --> 00:45:28.549 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: point of view, of of support, of of having that kind, of a, of a, of a close, tight knit support network.

00:45:29.070 --> 00:45:30.659 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: That's because it does make sense.

00:45:30.910 --> 00:45:36.633 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, all right, we got we got to take one last break when we come back.

00:45:37.120 --> 00:45:49.489 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: just let's talk about the book. Where are you with the book? Who are you writing the book? For? What do you think? Feel people can expect from the book? And what's your hope for the book? Okay.

00:45:49.790 --> 00:45:50.939 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Looking forward to it.

00:45:50.940 --> 00:46:01.160 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: All right. So everyone, please stay tuned. You're listening to the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. We've been speaking this hour to Leon Feingold, and we'll be right back in just a moment.

00:47:50.370 --> 00:47:54.599 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So, Leon, once again. What's the working title for your book?

00:47:57.522 --> 00:47:59.987 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: It's actually got a couple of titles.

00:48:00.640 --> 00:48:14.840 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I'm actually looking at the manuscript and editing right now. Poly smarts for amorous hearts and for anyone who's seen the who's actually watched the Ted talk. There's a rather lengthy acronym at the end of it which

00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:18.830 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I don't want to ruin it, but it starts with MTIN. Y.

00:48:19.020 --> 00:48:35.709 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: And the subtitle is Relationships made easy from A to Mt. INY. And I've already in the preamble to the book. I've already written that if anyone has any comments or questions I'll be including them in my follow up book, which is Mt. INZ. To Z.

00:48:35.830 --> 00:48:37.969 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Relationships still made easy.

00:48:38.620 --> 00:48:42.960 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I also toyed with the idea of polyamorous guide to the universe.

00:48:43.515 --> 00:48:58.659 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: As I'm a massive fan of the series and Polyamory can teach everyone why polyamory can teach everyone about relationships based on the Ted talk on Polyamory. So some mishmash of those, some combination of those is going to wind up on the book cover at some point.

00:48:58.990 --> 00:49:06.419 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Gotcha gotcha! And and what is your intention behind the book? What are you hoping that the people who read the book are going to get out of it.

00:49:07.920 --> 00:49:09.210 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I really

00:49:09.730 --> 00:49:17.839 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: so? I was invited to do this Ted Talk by a friend of mine, who was one of the forces behind, bringing Tedx to Bushwick.

00:49:18.050 --> 00:49:24.750 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and she said, You know you should. Definitely she was. She was not polyamorous, but she was a member of mensa with me. Actually.

00:49:26.030 --> 00:49:34.430 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: She really liked the idea of sharing knowledge and disseminating it beyond where it existed, basically finding new ways to spread information.

00:49:34.580 --> 00:49:53.940 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: And she said you would be a great Ted speaker, and I had really just learned about Ted at the time. This is like, I said almost 10 years ago, and one thing led to another. I gave the Ted talk, and I really liked the idea of taking the information that I had inside and finding a way to share it. So I think a book

00:49:54.610 --> 00:50:11.679 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: does the same thing. Exponentially. Lots of people write Ted Talks, but lots of lots of people read books, including online books, audio books, things like that. So I think the idea was to take the educational

00:50:11.810 --> 00:50:27.490 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: power of the Ted talk and expand on it and share more of what information I have, that I think others would want to know and provide a resource for people who may not have access or may not have the opportunity to.

00:50:27.650 --> 00:50:40.800 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, learn about polyamory, or learn about healthy relationships from a polyamorous perspective in way, especially if they are, you know they haven't already watched the talk. They haven't already found their people, but they still have questions.

00:50:41.070 --> 00:50:42.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Hmm, hmm,

00:50:44.290 --> 00:50:50.360 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So so it's been. You've been involved in this movement. Let's call it for for a while. Now.

00:50:50.530 --> 00:50:59.419 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: have you seen there be a general change around the idea of ethical non-monogamy? Do you feel people are more open to the idea now than they were 10 years ago?

00:50:59.730 --> 00:51:10.459 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Massive. I mean, there's still plenty of recalcitrant people that for whatever reason, either they were raised a certain way, or they are morally against it, or they believe it goes against their religion, or for whatever reason

00:51:10.630 --> 00:51:15.960 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: they believe it is something they are not allowed to look at. They're not allowed to consider, and, in fact.

00:51:16.450 --> 00:51:28.930 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: a lot of the people who are most upset, most vocal about opposing polyamory are themselves the ones who are most unhappy in their existing relationships or their existing relationship structure.

00:51:29.030 --> 00:51:33.910 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: which is, you know, paralleling. And I've often said that you know

00:51:34.370 --> 00:51:47.740 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: there were, you know, a lot of strides towards race. There was women's suffrage, and then there were race relations, and then there was homosexuality and the queer movements. So every generation has its own

00:51:48.410 --> 00:52:05.529 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: coming to terms or reckoning with human rights as opposed to social expectations. So I think Polyamory is simply the next logical step where there's going to be pushback. But when people realize that it just simply makes sense, it has become more and more accepted.

00:52:06.030 --> 00:52:17.139 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah, I think I saw an article somewhere that said that among younger people, especially like the 25 to 35 year old crowd

00:52:17.350 --> 00:52:24.069 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: that now there's like 10 to 15% identify as as polyamorous.

00:52:24.350 --> 00:52:29.040 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: which is huge, because, like in the population in general, it's like 2 to 3%.

00:52:30.110 --> 00:52:39.880 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think it's actually much larger. I think identifying is a key word. I think a lot of people do not identify as polyamorous. But if you were to give people the question, if you were to structure the question differently

00:52:40.070 --> 00:52:51.760 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and give people, do you? If you were to include the concept of a hall pass like, if there is there a celebrity or so, or one person that you and your spouse would grant each other the ability like it can look like any.

00:52:53.020 --> 00:52:55.252 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Yeah of strict monogamy.

00:52:55.830 --> 00:52:56.560 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: And.

00:52:56.560 --> 00:52:58.950 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Much less prevalent

00:52:59.200 --> 00:53:08.340 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: than people think. It is even incorporating cheating, because obviously cheating is not ethical non-monogamy. It's basically unethical, non-monogamy.

00:53:11.420 --> 00:53:13.451 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Sorry. I just saw something funny.

00:53:14.940 --> 00:53:43.039 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: the idea that people can choose relationship structures that work for them has been novel, and I think younger people are much less beholden to tradition. And we're seeing that with work we're seeing that with the standards of what people are expected to do and how you know Gen. X. Gen. Y. And now Gen. Alpha are just doing away with that. And some people will say it's more selfish

00:53:43.150 --> 00:53:51.849 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: which it is, but it's also giving people the chance to identify what matters for them and practice some form of authenticity.

00:53:51.900 --> 00:54:13.250 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: and from a relationship and a polyamorous perspective authenticity, understanding what you need and being able to live and act on. That is one of the most important things you can do, because people can learn all they want about relationships and what they, what they're supposed to do, and how the people in their lives might interact. But until each of us learn what matters to us and

00:54:13.540 --> 00:54:23.120 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: kind of go past the social expectations, what what other people, what our families expect of us, and really figure out what matters to us, and why, which is crucial?

00:54:23.340 --> 00:54:28.669 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: We won't really know how to find the puzzle pieces that match us, because we don't know what our own puzzle pieces look like.

00:54:28.670 --> 00:54:29.960 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Hmm, hmm!

00:54:30.420 --> 00:54:41.720 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: What's been the biggest revelation about yourself that you've learned through your involvement in polyam.

00:54:41.720 --> 00:54:42.090 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Right.

00:54:42.090 --> 00:54:49.380 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: General like like, what have you learned about yourself that you don't think you would have learned had you not opened up to this.

00:54:50.180 --> 00:54:57.059 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Oh, so much, I mean, I couldn't possibly sum it up just just learning that I was polyamorous, and learning that polyamory exists and is workable

00:54:57.620 --> 00:55:02.820 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: was was a massive change of my life. I mean, I've been

00:55:02.940 --> 00:55:05.820 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: unhappily married by now I could have been, I mean.

00:55:06.040 --> 00:55:11.430 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I think, for me, learning that I was polyamorous and that polyamory existed

00:55:11.600 --> 00:55:19.980 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: is probably the single biggest change. And then, of course, learning that I had both the an amazing

00:55:20.230 --> 00:55:27.129 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: source of information, both from my own experiences and from the communities which I have been part of.

00:55:27.750 --> 00:55:37.419 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: That collective information is incredibly helpful and has helped me has helped, you know, many, many other people. And I think

00:55:37.660 --> 00:55:55.599 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: learning that I have the ability and hopefully, soon the platform to share this on a global stage is really impactful for me. So there's there's no really one way to sum up what I've learned about myself other than I have a message to share now, and I want.

00:55:56.560 --> 00:55:58.660 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So it really speaks to your heart.

00:56:00.720 --> 00:56:04.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: One last question before we we start wrapping up.

00:56:04.550 --> 00:56:14.609 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Are are you hopeful that eventually governments, municipalities will start to recognize polyamous relationships as

00:56:14.940 --> 00:56:18.220 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: the same way marriage is recognized as a relationship.

00:56:18.500 --> 00:56:21.229 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Yeah, I I mean, it makes sense from a

00:56:21.570 --> 00:56:42.000 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know, a certain perspective that you would want to restrict the benefits of marriage from a legal perspective in terms of inheritance, in terms of property ownership, in terms of rights, to be able to see each other or make decisions for each other. If they're incapacitated, I could see why that would get why, insurance might get trickier. But these are all things that

00:56:42.280 --> 00:57:08.339 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: you know are going to have to change. They are changing elsewhere around the world. Canada has recognized three-way relationships. I think some countries like Brazil and other places have already. I really should be more up on that. But there are places, unfortunately, our current presidency, with trump in the White House has become significantly more regressive for progressive causes, but I am hoping that's a blip rather than a future.

00:57:08.340 --> 00:57:09.559 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah. Yeah.

00:57:10.080 --> 00:57:37.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Well, Leon, I really want to appreciate your honesty, your vulnerability, your willingness to come forward and come on the show and talk about this, I know. Like, even though you've been involved with it a long time, it's still not necessarily an easy thing to to get up and be public about it, because a lot of people might not be so happy with the fact that you're public about it. So thank you. Thank you for for coming on the show today.

00:57:37.590 --> 00:57:59.910 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: I actually have, and I acknowledge a lot of privilege. I am not. I don't have a vicious ex. I don't have a job that could fire me or punish me. I don't have people in my life. I can and do live openly, polyamorous, and that is a form of privilege just like beauty, just like money, just like anything else. It insulates me from the impact

00:58:00.090 --> 00:58:08.459 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: which unfortunately, many people do not have. They are at risk. They cannot be public about their desires, they cannot be public about their lifestyles, which is

00:58:08.660 --> 00:58:23.459 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: really sad, and I hope that as it becomes more and more accepted globally, and especially around the United States of America. More and more people will be empowered to be able to speak up and and have authentic choices for their relationships rather than

00:58:23.730 --> 00:58:27.450 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: feel beholden to what other people expect of them.

00:58:27.760 --> 00:58:28.320 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Yeah.

00:58:28.470 --> 00:58:39.869 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: beautiful, beautiful. Thank you so much, Leon. I wish you the best. Let me know when the book comes out, and if I can squeeze you in. We'll get you back on the show once the book launches. Okay.

00:58:40.130 --> 00:58:44.780 Leon Feingold - House of Good Deeds: Thank you. Well, listen. I'm 127,000 words in. All I got to do is edit it down, and I'm golden.

00:58:44.780 --> 00:59:05.420 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: There you go. There you go and thank you. Of course, my loyal listeners, for tuning in this week. And, by the way, if you like this topic next week. I've got a woman coming on who's did a Ted talk all about sex and money. So we're continuing the theme and about the relationship between sex and money, and might not be what you think.

00:59:05.580 --> 00:59:08.290 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: So thank you all for tuning in.

00:59:08.570 --> 00:59:12.019 Sam Liebowitz | The Conscious Consultant: Take care we will talk to you all next week.

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