Thursdays 5:00pm - 6:00pm (EDT)
WHAT WILL THE AUDIENCE LEARN?
The Audience will see the return of Danielle Swanson to Frank About Health and another episode on mental health and how it impacts Epilepsy and Relationships with Jeffrey Demitrack.
We will have an open discussion on events that have been possible triggers for seizures and learn the "red flags' ' to be mindful to set healthy boundaries between yourself and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and related co-morbidities.
EPISODE SUMMARY:
People with epilepsy and mental illness are easy targets for a Narcissist! Whether it’s family members, friends, coworkers, or other people in your life, people with any type of illness need compassion and understanding from people.
Whether conscious or not, narcissists view people with epilepsy or other neurological illness as vulnerable targets who can’t stand up for themselves. They like to emphasize how they have been an important figure to so many people in their life so people with Epilepsy assist in the enabling of that false narrative with their vulnerability which makes them the best targets both personally and in the workplace.
The Triangulation, Gaslighting and Scapegoating happen in tandem in order to appear as the "savior" to those suffering with Epilepsy and related disorders; it can be a messy situation where typically survivors can learn techniques to avoid being subjected as they move forward.
We will discuss the subtypes of Narcissism and how each relates to an epileptic patient and show how somatic responses can be used as signals to assist in the awareness of the person or environment they are in. This will be used to show how to minimize seizure risk and toxic relationships.
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Tune in for this healthy conversation at TalkRadio.nyc
Frank welcomes returning guest Danielle Swanson and Jeffrey Demitrack. Frank and his two guests relate with the fact that they all live with epilepsy and learn to live their life like any other person. He also introduces the topic of narcissism personality disorder and how it relates to those who have epilepsy. Narcissistic personality disorder implies an exaggerated feeling of self importance; Frank also goes over the symptoms. The different subtypes of narcissistic personality disorder include the over/covert narcissist, oblivious and hypervigilant, high functioning or exhibitionist, and communal narcissist. Rank also brings up a part of last week’s conversation on dignity. He mentions that narcissists probably may overestimate the amount of self respect they have and spend most of their time projecting their lives onto others, violating their dignity. Some vulnerable targets of this can epileptic patients who can also be triggered by interacting with people with this personality disorder.
Jeffrey brings up his book Dating in the Dark, about “dating disasters with epilepsy, anxiety and psychotic breaks.” He mentions dealing with a lot of selfish people or those with narcissistic personality disorders. Jeffrey gives an example of being with someone who blamed him for making them feel uncomfortable after he had a seizure and being angry that someone like Jeffrey is getting a lot of attention. Frank explains that the reason why this person might be selfish towards someone with epilepsy in this scenario is that they are not recognizing vulnerability on any level because they don't know who they are. They are unable to show empathy. One has to be mindful that unfortunately there's nothing you can do to change a narcissist as it will continue to trigger someone with epilepsy. In this case, it's better to move on from being in contact with them. Jeffrey speaks with Frank about currently being in a healthy relationship where his partner shows qualities of empathy, love and support. He mentions that they are aware of first aid for when his seizures happen. These changes in his life along with no longer working long hours have helped him minimize his seizures. Seizures are only one symptom of epilepsy and they discuss how there's more work needed to educate and advocate for people who live with this neurological disorder.
Danielle speaks about her experience with epilepsy. Unlike Jeffrey and Frank, she is fortunate to not have had as much experience with being a target for a narcissist. In the workplace, she has experienced a time where someone pulled her aside to say that she should watch what she says to not rub people the wrong way. This person didn't want it to affect her career. She found this to be an odd thing for them to say as everyone else around her didn't see the same issue. Danielle realized that it wasn't about her, it was about that person who felt threatened in some way. Another example that she gives where epilepsy was misunderstood and she was not in a healthy situation was when she worked in an environment where some people around her told her to not make her seizure as an excuse for not being able to do certain tasks. Danielle mentions knowing yourself what the truth is and knowing how your body reacts especially with epilepsy. Speaking of truth, Danielle speaks with Frank and Jeffrey more about narcissists in relationships and how they would make the other person feel guilty and crazy. She also discusses strategies she uses to help herself like actively listening and observing to know whether someone is being genuine in their actions and words or if someone isn’t (like narcissists), in which case you should not interact with them anymore.
Frank, Jeffrey, and Danielle talk about knowing your own identity and protecting your boundaries in your interactions in areas like the workplace. Frank says to try using your gut reactions and intuitions to help prevent symptoms like seizures and dealing with narcissists. If you're a survivor of gaslighting in narcissistic relationships, Frank says to try to turn this into something productive where you can use this experience to know in the future what you can do to help yourself and even others. For epilepsy and narcissism, there is no cause or cure, but it is something that one has to learn to live with and use whatever someone can to help for the better good. Frank recommends reading the book, The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist, by Debbie Mirza, available on Amazon. You can also look at Jeffrey’s book Dating in the Dark, also on Amazon.
00:00:41.160 --> 00:00:45.910 Frank R. Harrison: okay, Everybody welcome to a new episode of Frank about health.
00:00:46.420 --> 00:00:57.239 Frank R. Harrison: I hope you all heard my music. I didn't. But that's okay. We're all here to talk about a combination of previous episodes that we've had right here on this show.
00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:07.079 Frank R. Harrison: We're going to merge the topic of epilepsy with narcissism. I'd like to welcome both returning guests. Danielle Swanson, who everyone knows about who came back
00:01:07.090 --> 00:01:21.839 Frank R. Harrison: with me in 2021 to relaunch Frank about health on talk radio and Nyc. And we talked about epilepsy. And then, most recently, Jeffrey, Demetriac and I spoke about epilepsy and relationships in his book, dating in the dark
00:01:21.890 --> 00:01:34.220 Frank R. Harrison: back in December before the holidays, and we agreed to come back. The 3 of us, who are all living with epilepsy, and at the same time learning to make our life
00:01:34.340 --> 00:01:53.189 Frank R. Harrison: as productive and as beneficial for society at large. Like everyone else, however, the reason why we're going to bring the topic of narcissism is that I guess each of us can share stories about how we have had dealings in the workplace or in personal relationships.
00:01:53.200 --> 00:02:07.410 Frank R. Harrison: or even with family members where narcissism Narcissism was at play, whether it was gas lighting, whether it was manipulation, whether it was crazy, making all of the other topics that we're going to discuss on this episode
00:02:07.440 --> 00:02:10.570 Frank R. Harrison: that could have served as triggers for seizure activity.
00:02:10.710 --> 00:02:24.850 Frank R. Harrison: Or if we are used to monitoring our system in terms of understanding when an aura is about to take place. Sometimes the stress that is invoked by a bully narcissist
00:02:24.890 --> 00:02:43.030 Frank R. Harrison: can either be construed as a trigger, or possibly a warning that we are dealing with an individual who we would probably be best served if we were not associating with. So we want to learn if having epilepsy is not only a condition that we have developed over the years.
00:02:43.160 --> 00:02:54.250 Frank R. Harrison: but is also serving us as a gift and a warning to stay away from those individuals that are trying to prevent us from living our best life. So that's what this whole episode is going to be about.
00:02:54.280 --> 00:02:59.020 Frank R. Harrison: We're going to share some personal stories. Reflect again on dating in the dark.
00:02:59.110 --> 00:03:06.720 Frank R. Harrison: Danielle is going to come back and reunite as an observer, and also living with epilepsy successfully in the workplace.
00:03:06.850 --> 00:03:10.429 Frank R. Harrison: and we're going to educate you a little bit on narcissism.
00:03:10.490 --> 00:03:12.900 Frank R. Harrison: I have to issue my disclaimer.
00:03:13.210 --> 00:03:32.870 Frank R. Harrison: Just remember that this is all food for thought, and is not recommending you to determine what kind of care or medications you should be taking. We are not here to dissuade you from your ongoing treatment with your current care. Provider, whether it's your primary care physician, or your mental health provider, or, in our case.
00:03:32.880 --> 00:03:37.390 Frank R. Harrison: your neurologist or epilepsy, or epileptologists, as some of them are called.
00:03:37.490 --> 00:03:48.370 Frank R. Harrison: We are also not recommending that you make any changes to your medication regimen unless you consult with your physician. If there is any information on this show that you hear that can
00:03:48.420 --> 00:03:50.850 Frank R. Harrison: interest you into making changes.
00:03:50.940 --> 00:04:02.299 Frank R. Harrison: Please consult your physician before you make such changes, because what we will be talking about today are not the views of talk, radio and Nyc or Frank about health, but rather, as I said earlier.
00:04:02.790 --> 00:04:03.929 Frank R. Harrison: food for thought.
00:04:04.310 --> 00:04:10.070 Frank R. Harrison: that all being said, Welcome back to both you, Danielle and Jeffrey.
00:04:10.180 --> 00:04:29.939 Frank R. Harrison: We're going to have an interesting conversation today, and I guess I just wanted to do my due diligence, and let everyone know why we're here at the same time to make sure that everyone's aware that we are living with epilepsy in survival mode and in a very productive way. It's all a positive aspect.
00:04:30.020 --> 00:04:48.409 Frank R. Harrison: But we need to be mindful that there are those that Don't have the fortune that we have, and we can probably shed some light on those people what they have to be mindful of to prevent being triggered, or at the same time getting themselves into bad relationships in the workplace or personally.
00:04:48.940 --> 00:04:58.269 Jeffrey Demitrack: All Righty. Yeah. And why are we devoting a show to epilepsy and narcissistic personality disorder? I think that
00:04:58.290 --> 00:05:06.160 Jeffrey Demitrack: part of, you know, starting off the New Year healthy means being surrounded by good vibes and positive energy
00:05:06.210 --> 00:05:18.400 Jeffrey Demitrack: and arguments, and anger and negativity. Those people are are usually some selfish or narcissistic personality Disorder?
00:05:19.320 --> 00:05:27.480 Frank R. Harrison: Yes, yes, I mean, if anything. I also want to provide the audience an awareness that neither myself, Danielle or Jeff.
00:05:27.530 --> 00:05:44.010 Frank R. Harrison: our medical professionals. So when we talk about narcissism, we're going to provide as much clinical backdrop. But the common words of selfishness and manipulators and toxic people are probably what you're going to hear in the discussion we want to minimize.
00:05:44.020 --> 00:05:55.139 Frank R. Harrison: and and how it is sound. It's not meant to persecute or blame, or or put anyone in a in a box. But it's meant to just have the layman's conversations so that we can all identify with each other, one
00:05:55.180 --> 00:05:59.319 Frank R. Harrison: in this conversation, and for the listeners and viewers out there you can identify with us.
00:05:59.470 --> 00:06:08.730 Frank R. Harrison: However, I do have to provide some clinical information, so what i'm going to do is share my screen and show the different subtype
00:06:08.930 --> 00:06:11.870 Frank R. Harrison: of narcissistic personality disorder.
00:06:12.640 --> 00:06:17.880 Frank R. Harrison: so that we can understand the breakdowns and how extreme that they can be
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:22.019 Frank R. Harrison: okay. Let me see. Share
00:06:22.570 --> 00:06:23.750 Frank R. Harrison: screen.
00:06:27.320 --> 00:06:28.300 Frank R. Harrison: Okay.
00:06:28.750 --> 00:06:30.049 Frank R. Harrison: right here
00:06:30.770 --> 00:06:32.210 Frank R. Harrison: on Wikipedia
00:06:32.710 --> 00:06:34.519 Frank R. Harrison: is a topic of
00:06:35.060 --> 00:06:39.850 Frank R. Harrison: narcissistic personality disorder without going into the whole overview.
00:06:39.940 --> 00:06:45.840 Frank R. Harrison: Just want to point out that while everyone is aware that narcissistic personality disorder implies.
00:06:46.170 --> 00:06:53.350 Frank R. Harrison: You know that the individual is have feelings of self-importance, and is always trying their best way to prove that
00:06:53.440 --> 00:07:03.269 Frank R. Harrison: they are the individual that most people will come to for aggrandizement, for praise, for leadership.
00:07:03.340 --> 00:07:06.169 Frank R. Harrison: for things like that. That is all a perception.
00:07:06.760 --> 00:07:08.039 Frank R. Harrison: The symptoms.
00:07:08.570 --> 00:07:14.810 Frank R. Harrison: as I mentioned, grandiose sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies, of unlimited power and success.
00:07:14.850 --> 00:07:26.419 Frank R. Harrison: believing that they are special and unique requiring excessive admiration sense of entitlement being exploited, lacking empathy, often being envious of others and showing arrogance.
00:07:26.620 --> 00:07:34.509 Frank R. Harrison: But the subtypes are where it is critical to understand the 4 subtypes that have been discovered on Wikipedia in particular.
00:07:34.640 --> 00:07:41.119 Frank R. Harrison: are the overt or covert narcissist over it, meaning it's just visible. You can see the person right away.
00:07:41.200 --> 00:07:46.329 Frank R. Harrison: or covert, which is the ones that epilepsy patients or people
00:07:46.350 --> 00:07:59.079 Frank R. Harrison: living with epilepsy have to be more mindful of the oblivious and hyper-vigilant that would be your typical narcissist that you can recognize right away, always saying about how great their life is, and how successful they've been at everything.
00:07:59.190 --> 00:08:15.410 Frank R. Harrison: What would be very interesting is, If any of you are watching the media today about certain political behaviour, a certain representative in Congress who lied about his entire life one can imply that he's the oblivious, hyper-vigilant narcissist.
00:08:15.420 --> 00:08:19.610 Frank R. Harrison: But we're not here to talk about politics so for that reason alone we'll leave it at that
00:08:19.860 --> 00:08:22.530 the high functioning or exhibitionist
00:08:22.580 --> 00:08:35.109 Frank R. Harrison: we may find that a lot in the entertainment industry, a lot of people in the film and TV business, or at the same time in the music industry. They're high functioning or exhibitionistic, and they're sexually provocative.
00:08:35.190 --> 00:08:37.959 They make lots of money in their field.
00:08:38.039 --> 00:08:52.210 Frank R. Harrison: but at the same time they're probably very lonely, because the people around them are probably not genuine or authentic as a result of spending their their mind and their energy and their time and exhibitioning their talents.
00:08:52.570 --> 00:08:55.220 Frank R. Harrison: That's one aspect of their life, but
00:08:55.260 --> 00:09:02.129 Frank R. Harrison: they're not able to interact and interrelate with others, especially if they're not concerned about people who they might be considering
00:09:02.160 --> 00:09:03.739 Frank R. Harrison: beneath their standard.
00:09:03.810 --> 00:09:13.300 Frank R. Harrison: There is also considered the communal narcissist. Those people might be looked at as altruistic and caring and saintly people. But to be honest with you.
00:09:13.400 --> 00:09:15.180 Frank R. Harrison: That is something that is.
00:09:15.400 --> 00:09:17.839 Frank R. Harrison: you know, more
00:09:18.300 --> 00:09:20.650 Frank R. Harrison: perceived
00:09:20.770 --> 00:09:23.599 Frank R. Harrison: by people in certain professions.
00:09:25.080 --> 00:09:28.430 Frank R. Harrison: Now, i'm trying to go back to the main screen. Can you all see me again.
00:09:28.570 --> 00:09:29.570 Danielle: Okay.
00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:31.210 Jeffrey Demitrack: you can.
00:09:31.290 --> 00:09:44.189 Frank R. Harrison: All right. Good. All right. By the way, for those of you who saw last week's show one aspect of our conversation that we had with the replacement, Child Forum
00:09:44.270 --> 00:09:46.329 Frank R. Harrison: was a discussion on dignity.
00:09:46.700 --> 00:09:56.289 Frank R. Harrison: Dignity is something that one can say in layman's. Terms are people who live with self-respect, and no appropriate boundaries in relating with others.
00:09:56.500 --> 00:09:58.050 Frank R. Harrison: Narcissists
00:09:58.070 --> 00:10:11.319 Frank R. Harrison: are people that probably overestimate the amount of self-respect that they have, and are spending most of their time projecting their lives on to others and doing what they can to violate people's dignity.
00:10:11.680 --> 00:10:24.469 Frank R. Harrison: It is the individuals that are targets or scapegoats of narcissists that probably don't have a sense of dignity or self-respect that they become vulnerable to them, and as such for epileptic patients
00:10:24.550 --> 00:10:28.529 Frank R. Harrison: can be triggered by them and end up in seizures and other kinds of
00:10:28.550 --> 00:10:31.949 Frank R. Harrison: disorders that epileptic patients have are living with.
00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:33.740 Frank R. Harrison: Now.
00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:49.139 Frank R. Harrison: The reason why i'm bringing up dignity as a measure of what we talked about on the last episode is, if you recall we had spoken about how the therapist we had. Dr. Jennifer Griggs had mentioned that with dignity, enhancement and dignity training
00:10:49.150 --> 00:11:02.970 Frank R. Harrison: people who suffered from replacement. Child syndrome can have a better sense of identity. I think it's transferable to the narcissistic personality, because while most of them will not seek therapy, since they don't think anything is wrong one
00:11:02.980 --> 00:11:14.169 Frank R. Harrison: they probably would benefit from understanding where they get the most self-respect from within which at the present time, if they are considered the narcissist.
00:11:14.270 --> 00:11:19.510 Frank R. Harrison: they're not looking from within. They're living externally among other people's boundaries.
00:11:19.610 --> 00:11:37.639 Jeffrey Demitrack: Now, that is, I think there is something to be said for a a healthy narcissism, and taking pride in one's self image and beauty and achievements, and even tough tasks and tough achievements.
00:11:37.650 --> 00:11:48.890 Jeffrey Demitrack: And when love was shown to you when you were growing up, you you start to feel that sense of identity and that that self pride. Yeah. So
00:11:49.310 --> 00:12:01.750 Frank R. Harrison: exactly. I mean, one can say that narcissism is actually inherited, probably because your parents were narcissists as well. But the truth is in the in the role modeling
00:12:01.760 --> 00:12:21.219 Frank R. Harrison: healthy narcissism is when we're all born. All you know is you. You need to eat. You need to sleep. You're you're an infant. You're developing your your, your, you're growing up. Basically, if you have good role modeling with proper boundaries and things like that.
00:12:21.230 --> 00:12:35.689 Frank R. Harrison: one can learn to adapt and become more communal, or learn to share and interrelate with each other. But it is unfortunate. If you are being raised by those individuals that are considered narcissistic.
00:12:35.700 --> 00:12:50.009 Frank R. Harrison: you may end up modeling that behavior, and in turn not have healthy boundaries and become narcissistic as well. All right, we're ready for our first break, and when we return. We want to return to Jeff to talk again about dating in the dark.
00:12:50.020 --> 00:13:04.419 Frank R. Harrison: as well as to incorporate some of the material that he wrote in the book that would relate to narcissistic individuals that he had faced. So please stay tuned as we are talking about epilepsy and narcissism on this episode of Frank about health.
00:13:04.460 --> 00:13:10.210 Frank R. Harrison: both on talk, radio and Nyc. And in our Youtube Channel talking alternative, please stay tuned.
00:13:13.560 --> 00:13:32.970 Jeffrey Demitrack: Are you a business owner? Do you want to be a business owner. Do you work with business, owner? I I'm, Stephen fry your small and medium-sized business, or Smb. Guy and i'm the host of the new show always Friday. While I love to have fun on my show, we take those Friday feelings of freedom and clarity to discuss popular topics on the Minds of Smbs today.
00:13:33.110 --> 00:13:39.310 Please join me and my various special guests on Friday at 11 am. On talk radio and Nyc
00:13:41.770 --> 00:13:48.170 Are you a conscious co-creator? Are you on a quest to raise your vibration and your consciousness?
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:51.569 www.TalkRadio.nyc: I'm. Sam Leibowitz, your conscious consultant.
00:13:51.580 --> 00:14:12.059 and on my show, the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. We will touch upon all these topics and more. Listen. Live at our new time on Thursdays, at 12, noon, Eastern time. That's the conscious consultant hour awakening humanity. Thursday's 12 noon on talk. Radio. Nyc.
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00:14:55.430 --> 00:14:56.590 You
00:15:23.230 --> 00:15:41.990 Frank R. Harrison: welcome back. And I'm glad. Finally, there's an understanding that we are now soundproof, and ready to have an engaging conversation over the next 45 min. I hope all of you out there had an understanding on the 4 subtypes of narcissism. But we really want to focus on its impact on those living with epilepsy. And
00:15:42.010 --> 00:15:53.380 Frank R. Harrison: here we have Jeff, who's going to who's returned to talk more about his book dating in the dark, and to emphasise some of his experiences, both in the book as well as in in his life
00:15:53.450 --> 00:15:57.409 Frank R. Harrison: where he may have been in narcissistic situation. So welcome back, Jeff.
00:15:57.850 --> 00:16:10.569 Jeffrey Demitrack: Oh, thank you very much. Yeah. It's a dating in the dark. It's a dating disasters with epilepsy, anxiety, and psychotic breaks. So I I definitely dealt with a lot of people.
00:16:10.640 --> 00:16:24.199 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know, and when you have your seizures, or at least when I've had mine, not selfish people or people with narcissistic personality disorder.
00:16:24.290 --> 00:16:45.620 Jeffrey Demitrack: it might be like, Look what you did, or how selfish you were, and really I I have no control over my seizure. So really, you know, it's just the impossible to, you know. Respond to something like that. It's a you know. How can you be so nasty? How can you be so inconsiderate.
00:16:45.630 --> 00:17:02.329 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know. So it's, you know when and that is is a term called gaslight gas lighting. So that's a a a strategy that people with with a narcissistic personality disorder use.
00:17:02.340 --> 00:17:11.909 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know, and along with a a number of other things that they might do like kill, tripping or love bombing. You know other things like that.
00:17:12.560 --> 00:17:22.069 Frank R. Harrison: Yet it's very interesting, though, because from when you're having a seizure, I mean having had seizures myself, and I know Danny having had suffered sieges as well.
00:17:22.079 --> 00:17:41.059 Frank R. Harrison: We have the empathy by by default, to understand what you're going through and do what we can. If we were actually with you, to make sure you're safe to make sure you go into your post, dictal state safely and be able to have the connection to bring you back to your normal mental space prior to the seizure.
00:17:41.070 --> 00:17:59.260 Frank R. Harrison: However, it's very interesting where you're telling me that during a seizure individuals project blame onto you, which shows their lack of empathy because they don't even understand epilepsy to begin with, not having it themselves, but they're projecting their identity onto you.
00:17:59.270 --> 00:18:16.759 Frank R. Harrison: Your Your behavior, which is having a seizure, intimidates or provokes anger in them, and instead of owning up to that anger and feeling like, well, that pisses me off. Or why is he having that? Is he going to be okay? If they blame you for making them feel uncomfortable.
00:18:16.860 --> 00:18:32.690 Frank R. Harrison: That says to me that the reason why that they're very selfish towards you is they're busy not recognizing vulnerability on any level, because they don't know who they are. That is definitely an identity disorder in that particular example. I'd say.
00:18:33.070 --> 00:18:50.110 Jeffrey Demitrack: Hmm, yeah. Oh, definitely. And a lot of times it's a look how you screwed up the situation. You i'm not getting the attention that I I needed. I I and I needed for myself. I needed for my facade.
00:18:50.120 --> 00:18:56.239 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know, and you know, look at You're getting all the attention because you have an illness. How dare you?
00:18:57.220 --> 00:19:05.060 Frank R. Harrison: Very interesting! Because I mean it. Now it actually puts into my mind that these are red flags that people can
00:19:05.220 --> 00:19:12.820 Frank R. Harrison: learn or pick up right away when you first meet someone. If they're questioning that their meeting with you is affecting them.
00:19:13.020 --> 00:19:26.269 Frank R. Harrison: Then immediately you know that the way they live their life is all dependent on the people around them, rather than how they can interchange with the individuals, so they obviously don't have a sense of connectivity.
00:19:26.350 --> 00:19:41.060 Jeffrey Demitrack: It's funny you mentioned that because really they never do any introspection themselves. You know that, and they never try to better themselves. And when they see you bettering
00:19:41.070 --> 00:19:54.440 Jeffrey Demitrack: yourself, you know that is the kind of a it's a problematic for them, because really they don't really know how to better themselves in that way.
00:19:55.140 --> 00:20:08.330 Frank R. Harrison: That that's correct. I mean I I I was actually listening to a psychologist on her narcissism blog. Her name is Dr. Romani, and she's on the Youtube Channel. He has her own.
00:20:08.390 --> 00:20:18.730 Frank R. Harrison: a narcissistic group of followers. I'll admit I joined it, but at the same time she broke it down into situations where.
00:20:18.920 --> 00:20:24.820 Frank R. Harrison: when an individual that is a target of a narcissist is progressing through life.
00:20:24.920 --> 00:20:44.609 Frank R. Harrison: They're never going to see it as an accolade. They're going to become more of a bully because they want to bring you down to the level that they can relate to. And when you go ahead and move forward, you only make them angrier, even more so. What what she had indicated, based on. What you just said is that one of the ways to progress
00:20:44.620 --> 00:20:47.010 Frank R. Harrison: while moving away from the narcissist
00:20:47.110 --> 00:20:51.600 Frank R. Harrison: is to literally sever the connection, because there's no way around it.
00:20:51.760 --> 00:21:07.460 Frank R. Harrison: you know, and you have to be mindful of the relationships that you both have in common, because more than likely, when you are moved away from the individual bully if you want to, for lack of a better term, let's just say bully! For the purpose of conversation.
00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:21.760 Frank R. Harrison: You have to be mindful that the Mutual Friend, all of a sudden, is contacting you more aggressively because they're looking for the information from you of what's going on. They can feed it back to the other person. So I have found
00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:23.180 Frank R. Harrison: based on.
00:21:23.220 --> 00:21:31.140 Frank R. Harrison: you know, if you want to move forward, especially an individual that's living with Ceos seizure, control, or seizure management.
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:42.060 Frank R. Harrison: You have to move away from them because you don't want to be triggered all the time. But unfortunately, as collateral damage, you may have to move away from their allies that are really only feeding back
00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:45.990 Frank R. Harrison: to the other individual that only wants to continue to make you a target.
00:21:46.460 --> 00:21:48.469 Frank R. Harrison: or, as they say, a scapegoat.
00:21:48.940 --> 00:22:04.259 Jeffrey Demitrack: Yeah. And when people have seizures in it, any social situation, there's always the risk of ignorance. But it it's the also the fear of the unknown. You know all all people from family members
00:22:04.270 --> 00:22:14.849 Jeffrey Demitrack: to co-workers. They get anxious and cons and concern that other people will see it, you know a. And
00:22:14.890 --> 00:22:27.319 Jeffrey Demitrack: it it was possible for people to act this way. You could. You would say it. It's inconsiderate, you know it's a you you wouldn't believe that it could happen, you know.
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:36.910 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah. So tell me your You said that in your book dating in the dark you had a chapter on selfishness, or was it a discussion of selfishness?
00:22:36.920 --> 00:23:02.540 Jeffrey Demitrack: Well, no, I I go through a a timeline where I i'm going through dating experiences in my life? You know, from my early twenties to my mid thirties, and and and a lot of those experiences were with selfish people, You know they we're really thinking about the best what was best for me when I was having my seizures.
00:23:03.070 --> 00:23:11.549 Frank R. Harrison: Hmm. And I remember when you were asked on the show, you said that now you're currently in a healthy relationship. I gather you've applied a lot of your knowledge from those
00:23:12.050 --> 00:23:28.760 Frank R. Harrison: experiences in terms of creating healthy boundaries with your new relationship. But at the same time you were able to pick and choose, based on any clues that would indicate either narcissistic attributes or even other kinds of attributes that would be toxic for you. Correct?
00:23:28.940 --> 00:23:48.510 Jeffrey Demitrack: Well, yeah, after having a bunch of selfish people and with relationships, you you finally figure out who who is a loving person who has loving qualities, and who wants to see what's best for you, as especially when you have an illness to think about as well.
00:23:49.030 --> 00:24:03.339 Frank R. Harrison: so within, within your own life, both within your relationship as well as with work, and and in writing your book and things like that. I remember you saying that you also continue to go through several seizures a month, I mean.
00:24:03.350 --> 00:24:20.300 Frank R. Harrison: I gather, with their medications and other treatments. You're able to still find yourself in a safe situation when they occur. But what within yourself have you been able to be more aware, or in tune of, especially when protecting yourself from being a vulnerable position.
00:24:20.700 --> 00:24:40.089 Jeffrey Demitrack: Well, you know, being in a loving relationship. Yeah, she is very good about knowing what to do, knowing about seizure. First aid, You know she's become an epilepsy ambassador, you know. So she's a she's taken the initiative of about learning about epilepsy.
00:24:40.100 --> 00:24:40.820 Yeah. So
00:24:41.330 --> 00:24:48.979 Frank R. Harrison: oh, that's good. That's good. But within yourself. What are you focused on? To make sure that the relationship continues to grow and expand?
00:24:49.850 --> 00:25:01.460 Jeffrey Demitrack: Well, I want to to. You know also do what she needs in a relationship. I think that you know communication is is key when it comes to relationships
00:25:03.050 --> 00:25:05.030 Frank R. Harrison: definitely, definitely.
00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:12.980 Frank R. Harrison: Oh, well, so in your in your experience, then your predominant source of stress that had led to seizures
00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:17.409 Frank R. Harrison: was in the personal realm, meaning personal relationships.
00:25:17.600 --> 00:25:23.490 Frank R. Harrison: probably even family members and things like that. Did you. Did you find the same circumstance in the workplace?
00:25:23.820 --> 00:25:36.320 Jeffrey Demitrack: Oh, yes, I I mean I had a lot of seizures in the workplace, and it was part of the reason why. Now i'm on disability, and I i'm just gonna stick to writing my books, you know, and
00:25:36.490 --> 00:25:52.760 Jeffrey Demitrack: and unfortunately I I had to stop working. I had a good career, you know, but it just was a necessity for me, because, you know, working long hours is not someone that with epilepsy it's not something they should be doing.
00:25:53.720 --> 00:26:19.989 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah again, I gather, depending upon like what the job is, and how much brain activity it requires from you. I can imagine. If you were, I mean I remember when I, when I was diagnosed with epilepsy, they said I could never become an airline pilot. I love to travel, but and I don't like to fly the plane. But from that perspective the one thing that I always love to do is inform and educate and advocate. I mean this podcast
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:28.099 Frank R. Harrison: was originally going to be called Frank about epilepsy until I spoke with talk, radio and Yc. And we just realized that there's so much more
00:26:28.270 --> 00:26:47.310 Frank R. Harrison: to health care than just epilepsy. And so here we are talking about narcissism, for example, and as everyone else has known, I've I've done a whole various shows on on other and mental health issues and physical health issues in there, and it was Covid. So I've learned that using my epilepsy, not as a gift, but as a role model
00:26:47.320 --> 00:26:50.510 Frank R. Harrison: or not a role model, a a platform
00:26:50.890 --> 00:26:56.649 Frank R. Harrison: to be able to use my my research skills and analytic skills, but within reason
00:26:56.780 --> 00:27:12.610 Frank R. Harrison: to prevent the seizures. But at the same time in form. That's how I've been able to convert my condition for the greater good, and I gather you're doing the same thing through your books, and I gather you want to do even more books and more education going forward.
00:27:12.850 --> 00:27:31.229 Jeffrey Demitrack: Well, yeah, I mean, I had somebody Also, you know, message me as saying, oh, there's more to epilepsy than dating, and I and yes, I know that I I live with epilepsy, and and I I'll write more about epilepsy. Don't worry, you know. I mean.
00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:48.939 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know. Just wait. You know I I just need time to do it. You know that's all. You know these people, you know. They They think that they all, just because I wrote a book about dating you an epilepsy that that i'm overlooking all these other topics, you know.
00:27:49.380 --> 00:28:04.439 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah, it's just, and it's another proof right there, that is very interesting. How epilepsy is becoming more and more accepted. But it's still not fully understood. You know why, because it's not an organic illness. There's no physical
00:28:04.530 --> 00:28:11.339 Frank R. Harrison: measure. Oh, like well, I I don't want to use the word tumor, which is more related related to cancer. But
00:28:11.530 --> 00:28:14.260 Frank R. Harrison: epilepsy is not a tumor. It's electricity
00:28:14.380 --> 00:28:27.809 Frank R. Harrison: whether we're all made of, and we're all wired for electricity through our nervous system, and it's just short circuitry, and because no one can see it except in the manifestation of the seizure they're assuming. The seizure is epilepsy. No.
00:28:27.870 --> 00:28:43.800 Frank R. Harrison: it's the symptom of epilepsy epilepsy is a condition that we're all living with right now, this very moment. And so I think that when we return from our next brink, and we have Danny start to, you know, reunite of since our last appearance together, but also
00:28:43.810 --> 00:28:57.250 Frank R. Harrison: talk about it. From the observational point of view. We want to be able to understand that epilepsy is not to be looked at as something that's demonic. It's looked at in some ways as something to learn and use.
00:28:57.280 --> 00:29:16.489 Jeffrey Demitrack: and and and advocate for others, whether you have epilepsy or not, so i'm hopeful. Say the seizures are a symptom, but you know most people with epilepsy. They have a bad memory, too, and they have to live with that. You know it's a it's a bit. It's a problem that you know even people that are controlled. They have to live with it.
00:29:17.200 --> 00:29:34.970 Frank R. Harrison: True, and I guess, Danny, you could also share some of that, especially since I know you've also tried cannabis to help deal with it. So when we return we're gonna welcome back Danielle Swanson to this episode of Frank about health, where we will be talking about both epilepsy and narcissism, or rather.
00:29:34.980 --> 00:29:39.789 Frank R. Harrison: how narcissism affects those living with epilepsy stay tuned.
00:29:41.380 --> 00:29:55.700 www.TalkRadio.nyc: Are you passionate about the conversation around racism? Hi! I'm, Reverend Dr. Tlc. Host of the Dismantle Racism show which airs every Thursday at 11 a M. Eastern on talk, radio and Nyc
00:29:55.710 --> 00:30:08.240 join me and my amazing guest. As we discussed ways to uncover dismantle and eradicate racism. That's Thursdays at 110'clock a M on talk radio and Nyc.
00:30:10.860 --> 00:30:38.679 www.TalkRadio.nyc: In a post- movement world. You may have many unanswered questions regarding your health. Are you looking to live a healthier lifestyle. Do you have a desire to learn more about mental health, and enhance your quality of life? Or do you just want to participate in self-understanding and awareness? I'm. Frank R. Harrison, host of Frank about health, and each Thursday I will tackle these questions and work to enlighten you. Tune in everyday 5 P. M. On talk radio. And Nyc and I will be frank about help to advocate for all of us.
00:30:43.960 --> 00:31:07.880 Hey, Everybody it's Tommy deed and non-profit sector connector coming at you from my attic each week here on talk radio and Ny Z: I hosted program for Lambda can focus non-profits in cocktails each and every day, and it's my focus to help them amplify their message and tell their story. Listen: Each week at 10 a. M. Eastern standard time until 11 a. M. Is from standing time right here on talk radio, Dot Nyc.
00:31:09.070 --> 00:31:17.179 You're listening to talk radio and Yc: at Ww: talk radio and live Scene: now. Broadcasting
00:31:17.220 --> 00:31:19.500 hours a day
00:31:19.770 --> 00:31:20.990 you
00:31:40.230 --> 00:31:44.459 Frank R. Harrison: welcome back and welcome back to Danielle Swanson.
00:31:44.560 --> 00:31:51.330 Frank R. Harrison: Danielle has been with me through this journey on talk, radio and Nyc. Since the very beginning
00:31:51.340 --> 00:32:11.170 Frank R. Harrison: in 2,016, when we used to be in studio with speakers and a big dangling microphone in front of me, and she called in to talk about epilepsy and cannabis, and then in 2,021. When I returned on this new Zoom Platform we were talked about, we kind of relive the moment and talked about it this time showing our face.
00:32:11.180 --> 00:32:27.819 Frank R. Harrison: But I I know we did. A lessons learned show. You brought a a family member on to talk about narcissism, and your father has been very much involved in helping us really format the show in a more health care, innovative
00:32:27.830 --> 00:32:47.400 Frank R. Harrison: way, and I want to thank him and your sister Jenny for being here talking about animal care and sports, management, therapy and stuff like that. So you're definitely part of the Frank about health, family, and for this reason i'm glad you return to also share your views on epilepsy and narcissism unmute, and then
00:32:47.410 --> 00:32:50.209 Frank R. Harrison: just welcome yourself back.
00:32:50.510 --> 00:32:52.850 Danielle: Well, thank you for having me back.
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:58.040 Danielle: Yeah, I've I guess I surrounded by by a very health
00:32:58.360 --> 00:33:01.009 Danielle: conscious family. I guess you could say.
00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:04.060 Danielle: Yeah, so I think my
00:33:04.210 --> 00:33:09.239 Danielle: journey with both epilepsy and narcissism has been a little bit different from
00:33:09.290 --> 00:33:12.489 Danielle: from yours, Frank and yours, Jeff, just in the sense
00:33:12.850 --> 00:33:24.589 Danielle: that I've I've for the most part been very blessed not to be the direct target of a narcissist. But there are 2 sort of more minor examples. I could probably give one being in the workplace.
00:33:26.710 --> 00:33:37.419 Danielle: It wasn't like anything, major. But one of my coworkers, relatively recently, had just taken me aside at the end of work one day, and you know.
00:33:38.250 --> 00:33:39.670 Danielle: said something about
00:33:39.740 --> 00:33:45.549 Danielle: I should really watch my words, and how I communicate, and what I say, because I might rub people the wrong way.
00:33:45.660 --> 00:33:49.409 Danielle: and I and that he didn't want it to affect my
00:33:49.890 --> 00:33:52.180 Danielle: like future career at that
00:33:52.310 --> 00:33:53.200 place.
00:33:53.280 --> 00:34:02.349 Danielle: So it I always try and take everything with a grain of salt. I was, you know, and I would never want to rub people the wrong way, or sound, arrogant, or like
00:34:02.580 --> 00:34:03.590 Danielle: you know.
00:34:04.020 --> 00:34:05.989 Danielle: whatever outside of my
00:34:06.460 --> 00:34:24.619 Danielle: role. Let's say so. You know I was like, okay, let me be more aware of it. So I asked my boss if she had noticed this at all, and if so, she could point it out to me if it if it happens again. I started asking my other coworkers, the one starting with the ones that I trusted the most. And this is how I approach things. I start
00:34:24.870 --> 00:34:32.199 Danielle: like just trying to be self-aware and asking the people, I trust, the most about different behaviors, whether they're in myself or other people.
00:34:32.440 --> 00:34:35.559 Danielle: And slowly I I worked my way out out of
00:34:35.600 --> 00:34:41.199 Danielle: the inner circle to the outer circle, saying, Well, have you guys noticed this behavior in me? Have I ever done something that
00:34:41.250 --> 00:34:42.570 Danielle: that you the wrong way.
00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:45.830 Danielle: so to speak? And they were all like.
00:34:45.929 --> 00:34:52.609 Danielle: No, everything's fine. So it was a it was very odd thing for this person to say, and
00:34:52.860 --> 00:34:54.570 Danielle: fortunately I was able to like
00:34:54.650 --> 00:35:01.959 Danielle: catch that moment if you will. And to realize, okay, this is not about me. It's about this person is trying to have like
00:35:02.100 --> 00:35:07.629 Danielle: control, or maybe feels threatened by me, or whatever he. And, to be frank, this person is a
00:35:07.950 --> 00:35:13.340 Danielle: just have a bit of arrogance, so I don't know if they'd be considered a complete narcissist, maybe one of the sub
00:35:13.380 --> 00:35:15.910 Danielle: the formats that you had shared before.
00:35:15.990 --> 00:35:27.340 Danielle: That's 1 one workplace situation and the other. Many years ago I had been in the workplace, and against my better judgment, I was in a romantic relationship with someone I worked with.
00:35:27.420 --> 00:35:35.719 Danielle: which, by the way, I don't recommend really clear communication and boundaries. I don't recommend it.
00:35:35.860 --> 00:35:50.070 Danielle: But yeah, I so this person and all my coworkers, they I try to be very honest and forth right with my about my seizure condition, and like educate people. This is what to do if I have one. Let's make a plan
00:35:50.620 --> 00:36:01.559 Danielle: whatever. So they knew I had seizures. They were for the most part very supportive. But we were working a lot on awareness at this company. It was. It was Yoga's place.
00:36:01.610 --> 00:36:16.469 Danielle: and he's. This person started telling me to make sure that i'm not using seizures as an excuse for things like. Sometimes I do. I get confused, or i'm a little slow and processing things, or I forget something.
00:36:16.660 --> 00:36:19.059 Danielle: I it's been a good
00:36:19.650 --> 00:36:24.399 Danielle: I don't know. Maybe that was 2,013. It was a long time ago. Now it's like 10 years ago.
00:36:24.520 --> 00:36:30.399 Danielle: so I don't know. I don't remember all the specific examples, but they started thinking that or
00:36:30.700 --> 00:36:32.480 Danielle: telling me that I was
00:36:32.500 --> 00:36:41.340 Danielle: using epilepsy as an excuse for my confusion, or my slowness, or my forgetting things, whatever it was.
00:36:41.540 --> 00:37:01.449 Danielle: and i'm like No, no! This is a a real thing that happens to people. It's like it's the seizures. It's what it does to your brain. I I like to say my brain brain feels like scrambled legs after that's how it feels to me. And so that was not a healthy situation. But those
00:37:01.890 --> 00:37:05.530 Danielle: among others have like taught me to be more aware of
00:37:06.730 --> 00:37:19.289 Danielle: different behaviors, and and really like standing up for yourself more, and to know yourself enough if you're someone who does have epilepsy, and even if you don't know yourself well enough to know what the truth is, and not be swept away by
00:37:19.540 --> 00:37:25.659 Danielle: people who are trying to make it look like You're crazy here that you don't know what you're talking about, because I think that's one of the main
00:37:25.750 --> 00:37:43.019 Danielle: signals, and you guys jump into if you feel like. Well, that that's a a gas lighting term, too. You you're acting crazy, right? Right? And that's my family member who was in actually a very bad, narcissistic, romantic relationship with a narcissist.
00:37:43.130 --> 00:37:52.380 Danielle: Yeah, he kept this person kept telling her she was crazy, and he had had, like 2, at least one wife and 2 or 3 girlfriends also.
00:37:52.420 --> 00:37:54.979 Danielle: and he kept saying that we were crazy.
00:37:55.350 --> 00:38:05.720 Danielle: and I don't know why I didn't pick up on that at the time and try to like, Warn my mom, I don't or my yeah, I mean, it looks sorry, Warren, these people.
00:38:06.380 --> 00:38:21.939 Danielle: because this also happened to a friend of mine same thing. That person had several relationships, and all the other people are the ones that were crazy. It was never the guy that was the narcissist that was crazy. It was always the other people, not my family members, not my friends. It was almost the exact situation, anyway.
00:38:22.110 --> 00:38:22.930 Danielle: Yeah.
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:38.279 Jeffrey Demitrack: you also remind me of a a person that was I worked with. And when I said that stress triggers my seizures, you know, she responded, saying, Well, stress is just a part of work.
00:38:38.290 --> 00:38:44.379 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know. How can you? We would just still just deal with this. That's how the was our reaction.
00:38:44.690 --> 00:38:45.950 Danielle: Yeah, that was working
00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:50.240 Danielle: as well. They are like. Oh, well, stress is just how you grow the deal of it, and i'm like
00:38:50.490 --> 00:38:56.560 Frank R. Harrison: Yes, both both of you are echoing exactly what I said in the beginning, these individuals are.
00:38:56.570 --> 00:39:11.069 Frank R. Harrison: They have the narcissistic attributes, and we would have to really look into their personalities to see which subtype they fit in, but it also is coupled with the lack of desire to really understand what epilepsy is. They're just probably just grateful. They don't have suffer from seizures.
00:39:11.080 --> 00:39:28.390 Frank R. Harrison: so they, if if they don't have it, they don't want to know about it. So again they're asking you and you, Jeff, to not use it as an excuse, or to not, or to suffer through the stress, because that's part of work. But yet that's their way of dismissing, wanting to get involved in understanding epilepsy.
00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:33.550 Frank R. Harrison: and how it really does make a difference in the person's character if they're treated accordingly
00:39:33.640 --> 00:39:53.560 Frank R. Harrison: or in in their work output as well, you know, and the thing is is that it sounds like to me, Danny, that from your workplace situation, as well as preserving it within your family, that you have been able to notice the red flags more frequently without having to become a target. That's a benefit to your advantage.
00:39:53.570 --> 00:39:54.689 Danielle: Go ahead. Sorry.
00:39:54.740 --> 00:40:09.749 Frank R. Harrison: no, no, no, I I gather, though the thing is is that you probably by default, have been able to just naturally avoid narcissistic relationships or narcissistic people to the point of triggering a seizure in the workplace.
00:40:10.140 --> 00:40:12.120 Danielle: Yeah, I think so.
00:40:12.630 --> 00:40:21.909 Danielle: I don't know if it's a natural thing for me, or if it's something I've learned if my mom likes to tell this story of how I was when I was in daycare.
00:40:22.380 --> 00:40:29.100 Danielle: Initially, the teacher was very concerned, because I wouldn't go play with the other kids. At first I would sit and watch everybody.
00:40:29.270 --> 00:40:34.269 Danielle: and then it turned out. I would only play with the kids who I knew weren't going to get me in trouble.
00:40:34.980 --> 00:40:36.089 Danielle: It's
00:40:36.110 --> 00:40:41.659 Danielle: I don't know how I translate it into my adult life.
00:40:41.950 --> 00:40:47.679 Danielle: You you naturally knew as a child who, to who who your allies, are
00:40:47.750 --> 00:40:49.609 Frank R. Harrison: you? You already had a.
00:40:49.990 --> 00:40:57.060 Frank R. Harrison: As to the individual characters, as children themselves. But you, as you all grow up.
00:40:57.100 --> 00:41:03.170 Frank R. Harrison: you can probably feel the connection that is, feel safe and secure versus those that are.
00:41:03.390 --> 00:41:07.439 Frank R. Harrison: you know, like triggering you like in the workplace, like your bus there for a while.
00:41:07.500 --> 00:41:09.030 Danielle: You know. I think
00:41:09.850 --> 00:41:15.149 Danielle: that was your gift. I guess so. I think I also just try to actively
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:24.700 Danielle: listen. I think that's also now a psychological term actively listening versus passively listening or listening, preparing your own counterargument, or whatever
00:41:26.030 --> 00:41:36.190 Danielle: I I always do. Try to listen to people, and really take in what they're saying, and see if it's really meant to be helpful for the other person or for me if i'm the other person.
00:41:36.260 --> 00:41:38.570 Danielle: or if it's just about them.
00:41:40.340 --> 00:41:44.969 Danielle: Yes, i'm trying to think what else I had made a note earlier. But
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:46.319 Danielle: basically.
00:41:47.630 --> 00:41:57.949 Danielle: yeah, just just really observing, allowing that quiet time to to see. Okay, is this person trying to get attention from me? Are they trying to
00:41:58.520 --> 00:42:05.140 Danielle: make me feel a certain emotion because they want it, or because they're genuinely interested in what I have to say.
00:42:05.540 --> 00:42:08.330 Danielle: Why, like, why is this person
00:42:09.230 --> 00:42:11.810 Danielle: talking about a certain subject?
00:42:13.990 --> 00:42:24.729 Jeffrey Demitrack: Yeah. And and people with epilepsy are are just naturally empaths, you know they, they naturally have an intuitive sense.
00:42:24.880 --> 00:42:28.660 Frank R. Harrison: Yes, yes, I was going to say that for me. What I've noticed
00:42:28.670 --> 00:42:45.870 Frank R. Harrison: is that my intuition has become more sharper, especially over the last decade, as I found myself in multiple bullying situations that definitely triggered seizures. But at the same time I ended up using it to my advantage. And then, as a result.
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:51.489 Frank R. Harrison: here I am now focused on health care. When I was originally in the music industry, the music industry.
00:42:51.710 --> 00:42:54.980 Frank R. Harrison: the old industry that it was Pre-internet
00:42:55.290 --> 00:42:58.279 Frank R. Harrison: was Narcissism's Narcissism central
00:42:58.390 --> 00:43:02.230 Frank R. Harrison: I mean everybody's concerned. Why, do you know this person?
00:43:02.350 --> 00:43:10.080 Frank R. Harrison: Why are you busy in this job? What is it about you that gives you the right to go to the Oscars blob, I mean.
00:43:10.100 --> 00:43:17.219 Frank R. Harrison: Well, in other words, why do I have the right to breathe? You know. So the thing is is that if that becomes
00:43:17.390 --> 00:43:32.660 Frank R. Harrison: the normal dialogue, people questioning your very existence, you know you're in a narcissistic environment, and the real answer, especially for those living with epilepsy is, Get out as fast as you can. Yeah, I'm never going to win a battle with a narcissist.
00:43:32.670 --> 00:43:41.199 Danielle: Well, and stress is the one of the primary causes for most people with a seizure disorder and being around someone who is a narcissist is very stressful.
00:43:41.320 --> 00:43:45.720 Danielle: So I think that's the a big takeaway. Why, we're talking about that as well.
00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:52.540 Frank R. Harrison: Oh, yeah, not only that, but also I don't know if you've experienced this, but I went through a whole bunch of narcissistic episodes
00:43:52.560 --> 00:44:02.150 Frank R. Harrison: during the holidays. I always the holidays, brings out narcissism and families, but I don't understand the connection, but what I noticed about myself
00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:05.419 Frank R. Harrison: is that I was becoming shut down.
00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:06.939 Frank R. Harrison: No emotion
00:44:07.300 --> 00:44:09.249 Frank R. Harrison: didn't want to even walk.
00:44:09.470 --> 00:44:13.060 Frank R. Harrison: I just wanted to relax at every breath that I took.
00:44:13.140 --> 00:44:15.700 Frank R. Harrison: I think that was my own defense
00:44:15.780 --> 00:44:18.959 Frank R. Harrison: of Don't. Welcome the stress that's coming your way.
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:34.510 Frank R. Harrison: because you didn't want to become whether it was in an aura or seizure, or nauseous or just, you know, stressed out or or just, you know, fearful. You know all of all of those things
00:44:34.540 --> 00:44:49.160 Frank R. Harrison: are actually internal mechanisms that I've learned to adopt as a way of being able to minimize my exposure to toxic people in toxic situations. I guess when we return from our final break.
00:44:49.170 --> 00:45:08.019 Frank R. Harrison: I want to definitely wrap up the 3 of us in how we can educate the public out there as to whether they are living with epilepsy or not, how to use whatever is internal to them as a measure of how to preserve their relationships. Going forward both in the workplace
00:45:08.030 --> 00:45:22.900 Frank R. Harrison: and personally, so please stay tuned as we're talking about living with epilepsy as well as being exposed to narcissistic personalities right here on talk radio Nyc and on our talking alternative, Youtube Channel stay tuned
00:45:26.080 --> 00:45:49.989 everybody. It's Tommy Deed and non-profit sector connector coming at you from my attic each week here on talk radio and Nyc: I hosted program for Lambda in focus. Non-profits impact us each and every day and it's my focus to help them amplify their message here and tell their story. Listen: each week at 10 a. M. Eastern Standard time until 11 a. M. Is from standing time right here on talk radio. Dot Nyc.
00:45:51.050 --> 00:46:18.799 www.TalkRadio.nyc: Get that post movement for you? You may have many unanswered questions regarding your health. Are you looking to live a healthier lifestyle? Do you have a desire to learn more about mental health, and enhance your quality of life? Or do you just want to participate in self-understanding and awareness? I'm. Frank R. Harrison host of Frank about health, and each Thursday I will tackle these questions and work to enlighten you. Tune in every Thursday 5 P. M. On talk radio and Nyc and I will be frank about help to advocate for all of us.
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00:47:26.940 --> 00:47:48.959 Frank R. Harrison: Welcome back. We've been here the past 45 min, reacquainting ourselves with Danielle Swanson, and talking again with Jeffrey Demetrac about his book dating in the dark. But we've had the common thread of all 3 of us living our lives with epilepsy, and all 3 of us doing what we can to live our best life possible in the workplace as well as within relationships and within families.
00:47:48.970 --> 00:47:51.639 Frank R. Harrison: while doing what we can to use.
00:47:51.690 --> 00:48:09.080 Frank R. Harrison: What is our gift if we look at it that way for the good and at the same time to minimize our exposure to those that are doing what they can to gaslight us, triangulate us, or make us feel less than, and and such inflict on our dignity and self-respect.
00:48:09.230 --> 00:48:20.120 Frank R. Harrison: We've heard earlier from Danielle about her boss actually making statements about not using her epilepsy to
00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:22.780 Frank R. Harrison: Oh, a newt a mute
00:48:23.160 --> 00:48:32.470 Danielle: that wasn't my boss who did that? That was someone else I worked with. Well, I apologize. I apologize. Okay, it was. It was a
00:48:32.780 --> 00:48:35.990 Frank R. Harrison: as someone that you was training you.
00:48:36.070 --> 00:48:40.360 Danielle: Yeah, someone who's a little bit higher up on the hierarchy, if you will.
00:48:40.870 --> 00:48:45.039 Danielle: Oh, okay, all right. And of course we didn't mention his name, did we?
00:48:45.260 --> 00:48:57.650 Frank R. Harrison: No, okay. Good. No. But the thing is is that that that type of individual, from what you said was actually labeling you based on you being a person that suffers from seizures.
00:48:57.780 --> 00:48:59.860 Frank R. Harrison: and at the same time
00:48:59.890 --> 00:49:01.970 Frank R. Harrison: trying to prove his power
00:49:02.060 --> 00:49:04.700 Frank R. Harrison: to you. I guess he looked at you
00:49:05.310 --> 00:49:07.399 Frank R. Harrison: as someone who was just vulnerable.
00:49:07.510 --> 00:49:10.960 Frank R. Harrison: and that would easily listen to a man who wants control.
00:49:11.450 --> 00:49:17.749 Frank R. Harrison: That would be actually a little bit more overt than covert, but it is a narcissistic attribute.
00:49:17.960 --> 00:49:32.429 Frank R. Harrison: and I think the workplace just naturally breeds that. So, like you said definitely, no intimate relationships in the workplace. But I would also venture to guess that it's safe to say that it's you can be friendly with the people you work with, but
00:49:32.540 --> 00:49:35.470 Frank R. Harrison: to have friendships with them after work.
00:49:35.610 --> 00:49:52.730 Frank R. Harrison: I think that becomes also something not to recommend, unless you just happen to know each other, because you happen to be cousins or something that is a different special case. But you know, in the workplace people have something approved, and they they want to get a
00:49:52.780 --> 00:50:00.649 Jeffrey Demitrack: be, a get advanced. They want to raise. They want a new position, you know that that's always so.
00:50:00.750 --> 00:50:01.959 Jeffrey Demitrack: Oh, sorry
00:50:02.600 --> 00:50:14.060 Danielle: where you work, and who you work with. For instance, I've been very fortunate in at least 2 of my position jobs actually 2 different jobs
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:18.359 Danielle: that both of the
00:50:18.560 --> 00:50:32.310 Danielle: managers or directors are very focused on teamwork and for providing an environment and making sure that we all supported each other. So we did, in fact, feel comfortable spending time with each other outside of work.
00:50:32.390 --> 00:50:33.699 but when it's
00:50:33.810 --> 00:50:38.549 Danielle: bread to be a very competitive work environment, I think, then, that's where you see more of the
00:50:38.740 --> 00:50:49.450 Danielle: the bullying or the narcissism, or the the selfishness in people comes out versus when you look at what's good for the collective and you start that starts to breed a more healthy
00:50:49.820 --> 00:50:50.839 Danielle: right?
00:50:50.900 --> 00:51:02.919 Jeffrey Demitrack: Exactly. Yeah. And when there's a lot of people working in the workplace that's when people go out for drinks after work, and they and there's no way around it, it seems in.
00:51:03.660 --> 00:51:09.459 Frank R. Harrison: Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just a question of also being again focused on
00:51:09.490 --> 00:51:25.859 Frank R. Harrison: one's sense of identity, both within yourself and the projection that you're receiving from the individuals you are working with. Do they have a strong sense of identity? And that being said, it seems as though that when I refer to it especially for the context of this episode.
00:51:26.020 --> 00:51:43.830 Frank R. Harrison: When you're looking at your own identity, you're looking at your self-respect, and like I said, your dignity, and is any of it being violated? And you want to avoid that. Usually you can feel when it's violated. Like all of a sudden, it has a a mimic sensation that someone just literally, as they say, stab you in the back.
00:51:43.840 --> 00:52:01.760 Frank R. Harrison: you know, or that you feel like so vulnerable that maybe you said the wrong thing. And now you're afraid to actually speak up or engage in a team effort or a project, or whatever the situation may be. And that's because you may have been in a situation
00:52:01.770 --> 00:52:11.459 Frank R. Harrison: where someone violated your boundaries, and you found yourself like exposed. Now for an epileptic patient, I guess one measure of that is.
00:52:11.520 --> 00:52:15.249 Frank R. Harrison: are they still exposed that they feel stressed out, and then go into a seizure.
00:52:15.500 --> 00:52:19.990 Frank R. Harrison: you know. So I guess if anything for those viewers out there that happen to be suffering
00:52:20.100 --> 00:52:24.130 Frank R. Harrison: from seizure, disorder, or living with epilepsy.
00:52:24.350 --> 00:52:30.430 Frank R. Harrison: Try to use your instincts, your empathic views, as Jeff mentioned earlier.
00:52:30.460 --> 00:52:40.590 Frank R. Harrison: Even even your gut reactions like do you have a warm sensation in your stomach that you're in a safe space, or you're dealing with someone that you need to run away from.
00:52:40.790 --> 00:52:43.199 Frank R. Harrison: Try to be more in tune with your own.
00:52:43.300 --> 00:53:01.410 Frank R. Harrison: You know senses in your mind. Do flashes of memory come back at you, that the person you are dealing with remind you of someone in the past that actually did you wrong for me. That has been a measure of not to trust the person. In some instances I avoided that, and still got into trouble anyway. But
00:53:01.420 --> 00:53:07.409 Frank R. Harrison: going forward, that's if I even sense that I no longer deal with that person after our initial meeting.
00:53:07.510 --> 00:53:11.389 Frank R. Harrison: you know. So for me, I've learned to use my
00:53:11.600 --> 00:53:19.650 Frank R. Harrison: my gift of living with epilepsy for the greater good in my career, and i'm doing my best that I can within my family. But
00:53:19.710 --> 00:53:27.450 Frank R. Harrison: I am very mindful now of when I see the gas lighting and the projections and the crazy making coming, and I do what I can
00:53:27.790 --> 00:53:35.870 Frank R. Harrison: to remove myself from the environment as fast as possible, so I can keep my mind and my focus together like doing this particular show. Now.
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:45.190 Frank R. Harrison: the other thing you mentioned, Danny, is that you you, you, you quote, unquote, exposed your mother, but it's kind of interesting. I remember when we did that show
00:53:45.200 --> 00:54:00.069 Frank R. Harrison: We talked about her as anonymous, because it was audio stream only, but she came back anyway, and I said the survivor returns, and she showed the gift of being a well, Barbara, I think her friend was Barbara.
00:54:00.080 --> 00:54:10.989 Frank R. Harrison: She turned her victimization from a narcissist into poetry. So again, the lesson learned from narcissism is that if you're a survivor
00:54:11.010 --> 00:54:14.179 Frank R. Harrison: of gas lighting and narcissistic relationships.
00:54:14.360 --> 00:54:31.759 Frank R. Harrison: try to turn it into something productive for you. So you can maintain that survival mode, just like we, as those living with epilepsy, use our auras and use our sensations as find a safe space. Take your medication. Do the right thing that you can to keep everyone in the environment safe
00:54:31.870 --> 00:54:45.010 Frank R. Harrison: and minimize the collateral damage that can occur either from the observer's point of view, or you don't want to find yourself hitting your head against a brick wall and having stitches put in your head. You know that happened to me once, you know
00:54:45.020 --> 00:55:14.680 Jeffrey Demitrack: I and you, Jeff, I I think when you're recovering from a seizure, you need a relaxed place. You need a a a place where there's no anxiety, anxiety free, or what a place where you can rest! You! You don't need someone pressuring you, hey? We you let's get this over with, because really they that can just a cause someone to go into a a a postc to a aggressive state. And you know I I've I've gotten aggressive in my post sector, so
00:55:14.730 --> 00:55:19.509 Jeffrey Demitrack: you know, and I think it's because people they weren't handling it right?
00:55:20.140 --> 00:55:39.879 Frank R. Harrison: Correct. Correct. So basically I want everyone out there to be aware that I think it was made clear, and if not, I'm going to emphasize that the subtype of narcissism, that epileptic patients or those living with epilepsy are most vulnerable to are the covert narcissists. You, don't, have any idea
00:55:39.960 --> 00:56:02.709 Frank R. Harrison: how they are being narcissistic. They just ask you inappropriate questions, or they make you feel uncomfortable. For some reason, what i'm saying, or what Danny even pointed out with her trainer that she was working with. Is that that was a form of covert narcissism that was going on, and which happens very often. And yet I believe that epilepsy patients are individuals who can be more
00:56:02.720 --> 00:56:32.709 Frank R. Harrison: fine- to detecting that as soon as possible. So one book that can help in that is, by Debbie Merza it's called the covert, passive, aggressive narcissist. I highly recommend it. It's available on amazon.com as is dating in the dark by Jeffrey Demetrak on amazon.com. I want all of you out there to know that some of the education that I provided as that Fanny has provided as well, is stemming from work that we have done at our respective medical centers. For me. It's the Nyu
00:56:32.720 --> 00:56:39.509 Frank R. Harrison: language and comprehensive epilepsy center, and I gather for you, Danny, where have you been getting your updates from
00:56:39.800 --> 00:56:47.030 Danielle: Oh, goodness! So a lot of different places. So Tufts Medical Center, Children's Hospital in Boston.
00:56:47.190 --> 00:56:55.550 Danielle: Bergam, and moving in and in Boston pretty much every Medical Center in Boston.
00:56:55.770 --> 00:56:57.629 Danielle: all of them all the places.
00:56:58.010 --> 00:57:05.449 Frank R. Harrison: I I just want to point out that even though these are respectable places that are definitely working on new research for epilepsy.
00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:20.519 Frank R. Harrison: The the stuff that we mentioned today are not the views of either of those medical centers. So and i'm, adding that to the disclaimer I gave at the beginning of the show. We're about to end for tonight. But do you have any last comments, either one of you starting with you, Jeff.
00:57:21.190 --> 00:57:24.349 Jeffrey Demitrack: No, I I think we've covered everything.
00:57:24.910 --> 00:57:26.770 Frank R. Harrison: Okay, and you, Danny.
00:57:27.100 --> 00:57:32.799 Danielle: I think we might need to make our own separate epilepsy podcast in addition to this. That's what I've gathered from today.
00:57:33.300 --> 00:57:52.169 Frank R. Harrison: Well, that that brings that brings me to my plans that I think we already touched upon, which is that sometime in the spring. I want to actually host an epilepsy conference. We're all e 3 3 epileptic patients, so it's called the E 3 Conference that would be brought to you by Frank about health
00:57:52.180 --> 00:58:00.650 Frank R. Harrison: and also Hilton hotels. So that's something we'll be working on in the near future. And remember everybody, epilepsy and narcissism.
00:58:00.660 --> 00:58:19.170 Frank R. Harrison: our pathologies that have ongoing research. There is no cause. There is no cure. You have to learn to live with both disorders, and at the same time live amongst these environments. But use whatever skill, sets, or attributes of the respective disorder to your benefit, and to the greater good
00:58:19.240 --> 00:58:26.779 Frank R. Harrison: ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for being here with both with Danielle, Jeff and myself on this episode of Frank about health.
00:58:26.790 --> 00:58:48.280 Frank R. Harrison: Stay tuned for our Friday night of shows, which are always Friday with Steve Fry and philanthropy and poke Focus with Tommy D. And we will be here next week, not yet determined what the episode will be about, but it'll be a new live show, and I thank you all for listening both here on talk, radio and Nyc. And in our Youtube channel. Talking alternative.
00:58:48.290 --> 00:58:50.439 Frank R. Harrison: We're signing off now. See you next week.
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