Dismantle Racism with Rev. Dr. TLC

Thursday, August 25, 2022
Facebook Live Video from 2022/08/25 - Truth Be Told about the "One Drop Rule"

Facebook Live Video from 2022/08/25 - Truth Be Told about the "One Drop Rule"


2022/08/25 - Truth Be Told about the "One Drop Rule"

[New Episode] Truth Be Told about the "One Drop Rule"


The audience will learn the history behind normalized present day ideals of racial purity, discrimination, and violence. Listeners will gain awareness of the inhumanity and trauma passed down in ideology, bureaucracy, and DNA.


Our DNA is the storage device that holds the unvarnished truth and cannot be destroyed. This DNA holds the trauma of enslavement and the assault on the loins of the enslaved. Colonial settlers created a "mulatto" race when they raped and impregnated African, Caribbean, Native American, enslaved women and children. During and after slavery, legal and social discrimination were incentives for whites to hide any genetic relationship with blacks or enslaved people. Therefore, the “One Drop Rule” became a tool of white supremacy and racism.


The Racial Integrity Act of 1924 mandated every person be clearly defined/ identified in terms of their race (appearance) upon birth. DNA provides knowledge of who you came from and with that knowledge we may better understand who we are minus all of the treachery, deceit, false history & systematic oppression. Dismantling racism begins with owning the "Truth" considering the racial makeup of the continental United States and the world at large. 


Join Rev. Dr. TLC and her guest Eunice L. Buffington as they discuss this history and how it led to practices of bureaucratic genocide, eugenics, and enforcement of systematic violence against non-white people in the United States.




Facebook: Eunice Buffington

LinkedIn: Eunice Buffington

YouTube: Family Tree Buff

EPISODE QUOTE: We are more alike than different 

Tune in for this important conversation at or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.

Show Notes

Segment 1

Rev. Dr. TLC is offering a six-week course on a blueprint to end racism that begins September 14th. You can find more information at Rev. Dr. TLC does a guided meditation with her audience before diving into today’s episode. She explains how our language can perpetuate the cycle of racism. Take the term minority, it can be used to describe a group of people or persons as less than. Language can be used as a way of othering or separating. Skin color can also be used as a way of othering a group of people.

Segment 2

Rev. Dr. TLC welcomes her guest and high school classmate, Eunice Buffington, a genealogist, and family historian. Eunice is also the creator and owner of Family Tree Buff. Rev. Dr. TLC continues to discuss Eunice’s background and accolades before diving into the conversation. Eunice is so committed to dismantling racism that she is recording from the hospital. While Eunice is an advocate for self-care, she doesn’t believe in letting your traumas hold you back. Rev. Dr. TLC uses Harriet Tubman as an example of someone who did not let their health stop them from making a difference. Rev. Dr. TLC made a connection from their childhood when they both ran for Miss Holly High. The pieces of work they decided to read would connect to their careers later on in life. Eunice pointed out how black American history tends to be hidden from the public, and it’s something you have to dig to find.

Segment 3

Rev. Dr. TLC says there was not much discussion about heritage growing up. Where she came from, there was only black and white. Eunice shares what it was like to learn about her heritage as she got older. She mentions that there is trauma in family trees. Eunice says it was such an amazing experience to learn about her ancestors because she was able to learn about herself. Rev. Dr. TLC asked Eunice what common traumas were that she came across in the black community when studying their family history. Eunice says people judge each other based on their appearance, even in their family, which can be traumatic. Eunice was ridiculed for being one of the darkest members of her family, which made her very self-conscious. Rev. Dr. TLC and Eunice discuss the importance of learning about your family tree and healing your traumas.

Segment 4

Rev. Dr. TLC asks Eunice what were some memorable things she discovered while studying family trees. Eunice discovered that generational trauma is common in different families. Rev. Dr. TLC and Eunice discuss how it is nearly impossible to reach your greatness without unraveling and healing your past trauma. Eunice was able to connect with her family all over the country to learn about her history. Rev. Dr. TLC asks Eunice how her cousin received her when they first met. Eunice says we are more alike than different. It is just our skin color that sets us apart. She also explains why people of all races should look into their genealogy and some of the first steps to help people get started in researching their family history.


00:00:56.720 --> 00:01:26.380 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Hello and welcome to the dismantle Racism show where our goal is to uncover dismantled and eradicate racism. We really really really do want to create a world where racial equity is the norm. I am your host, the Reverend Dr. Tlc. Before we get started today with our meditation. I just want to invite you. If you are listening, live, or if you're listening on Facebook, please do drop a comment to

00:01:26.390 --> 00:01:31.570 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: us. We'd love to hear your thoughts. We want to hear your questions today.

00:01:31.580 --> 00:01:59.599 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We're going to be talking about Truth be told the one drop rule. I know that it is something that has a lot of weight in the ways in which we think about what defines us as black, white, or other. And I know people have a lot of thoughts and some experiences with this. So please make sure that you just drop a comment and the Facebook link, and we will be sure to address it. We so appreciate

00:01:59.610 --> 00:02:00.940 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: each and every week

00:02:00.970 --> 00:02:24.909 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: the time that you take to join us. And so we want to just include you in on our conversations. I want to thank you at the top of the hour for listening to the show. It means so very much to me. Thank you for all the work that you do to dismantle racism. I know that the journey isn't always easy, but I applaud you for continuing to be committed

00:02:24.970 --> 00:02:45.220 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: to dismantling racism. I also want to. So Ah let you know that I am offering a six-week course on a blueprint for ending racism that begins September fourteenth. So please do go to my website at Sacred Intelligence, dot com, and sign up to become a part of that group.

00:02:45.260 --> 00:02:50.730 You at all are interested in the

00:02:51.040 --> 00:03:09.570 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: increasing your knowledge. If you are interested in overcoming your fears, if you are interested in just determining, how do I keep going through this process? Because it is wearying? This course is for you, so I want to invite you to sign up

00:03:09.590 --> 00:03:27.430 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: to be a participant in the course. September the fourteenth. It starts. And now let's get started with our show for today. I want to invite you into that special place of connecting with your source connecting with your breath. So if you would

00:03:27.570 --> 00:03:30.690 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: just find a place to be really comfortable,

00:03:30.700 --> 00:03:37.319 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: your feet on the floor or on the ground. If you are outside,

00:03:38.010 --> 00:03:41.880 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and take a moment to center yourself

00:03:42.480 --> 00:03:45.150 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: taking a deep breath in

00:03:46.250 --> 00:03:47.860 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and out,

00:03:48.600 --> 00:03:54.970 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: being conscious that that breath that you are taking in and out

00:03:56.310 --> 00:03:58.599 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: is your divine wisdom.

00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:02.690 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: It's your sacred intelligence,

00:04:02.850 --> 00:04:07.119 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: that part of you that manifest your good

00:04:07.210 --> 00:04:11.050 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: while helping you to manifest the good in others.

00:04:11.810 --> 00:04:18.689 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Just take a deep breath in and out, and recognizing that that breath is life

00:04:19.399 --> 00:04:25.829 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: that breath calls you to life. It calls you to more than just existing.

00:04:26.880 --> 00:04:28.980 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: It calls you to stand up,

00:04:30.330 --> 00:04:37.430 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: to take charge, to take control of the things that you are capable of taking control of.

00:04:38.980 --> 00:04:45.040 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: It causes you to think about the ways in which you

00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:47.490 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: can change the status. Quo

00:04:48.940 --> 00:04:55.430 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: breath is a sign of the light that is within you that's meant to shine.

00:04:55.580 --> 00:04:58.840 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So just breathe in and out,

00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:02.189 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: connected with your source,

00:05:02.200 --> 00:05:04.750 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: your inner being your guide

00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:08.840 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: that tells you what truth is.

00:05:10.020 --> 00:05:13.039 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Just breathe in and out,

00:05:13.910 --> 00:05:19.360 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: recognizing that you were born for a purpose. You are here

00:05:19.610 --> 00:05:23.549 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: in this earthly realm for such a time as this.

00:05:24.880 --> 00:05:27.979 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So just breathe in and out,

00:05:28.880 --> 00:05:35.259 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: not only connected with your inner source, but connecting with those who came before you

00:05:36.100 --> 00:05:38.240 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: your ancestors,

00:05:38.430 --> 00:05:41.229 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: those people who've paved the way for you

00:05:42.000 --> 00:05:46.609 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: bring them into the sacred moment with you,

00:05:47.020 --> 00:05:51.219 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: recognizing that you are not alone on this journey,

00:05:53.540 --> 00:05:55.570 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: so greed and

00:05:55.690 --> 00:05:56.800 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and out,

00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:00.750 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: breathe in

00:06:01.210 --> 00:06:02.870 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and outs,

00:06:04.370 --> 00:06:07.559 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: breathe in the knowledge of who you are,

00:06:09.700 --> 00:06:11.840 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: who you are meant to be.

00:06:13.930 --> 00:06:16.019 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Breathe in your greatness,

00:06:17.350 --> 00:06:19.550 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and breathe in

00:06:19.980 --> 00:06:21.630 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: this thought

00:06:22.590 --> 00:06:24.860 that the power of one

00:06:25.370 --> 00:06:28.400 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: contributes to the power of community.

00:06:29.800 --> 00:06:32.080 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: What you do matters

00:06:34.070 --> 00:06:36.180 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: now take a deep breath in,

00:06:36.860 --> 00:06:38.510 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: sigh it out

00:06:38.840 --> 00:06:40.159 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: unless we get

00:06:45.010 --> 00:06:53.899 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: racism doesn't require intention or malice, I often hear people say, but i'm a good person.

00:06:54.280 --> 00:07:03.390 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: The thing about racism is that it is so deeply rooted in us as a society that we don't even recognize it.

00:07:03.830 --> 00:07:06.969 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Take our language, for instance,

00:07:06.980 --> 00:07:11.600 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: something that I've heard repeatedly, actually this week, a few times

00:07:12.390 --> 00:07:15.520 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: this phrase minority.

00:07:16.080 --> 00:07:22.960 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: How many people still use the word minority to describe a person of color,

00:07:23.370 --> 00:07:33.139 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: to use that word, reinforces the idea that we are less in some ways, if we are categorized as minority,

00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:41.529 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: it's an indication that that individual or that group of people that they don't pull power.

00:07:42.200 --> 00:07:48.989 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So what does it do to the Psyche over the years to hear that you're a minority,

00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:52.509 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: or to describe yourself as a minority.

00:07:53.130 --> 00:07:59.929 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: What does it do to the psyche of the person who considers themselves to be the majority

00:08:00.390 --> 00:08:07.559 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: even more so to describe themselves as being a part of the dominant culture.

00:08:08.140 --> 00:08:14.030 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We use this language about thinking about the deeper meaning behind it,

00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:26.199 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: about thinking, without thinking about what it is reinforcing in our lives. We take it for granted, and so we use them without thinking.

00:08:26.450 --> 00:08:32.289 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: There's no intention of racism, but that's exactly what it is.

00:08:32.299 --> 00:08:35.960 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Even an internalized racism.

00:08:36.580 --> 00:08:43.789 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: It's a way of othering. It's a way of separating us one from the other,

00:08:44.520 --> 00:08:47.839 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and then take something like skin color.

00:08:48.040 --> 00:08:52.930 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Skin color is a way that we have other folks

00:08:53.010 --> 00:08:54.260 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: forever,

00:08:55.520 --> 00:08:57.949 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: probably since the beginning of time.

00:08:57.960 --> 00:09:02.500 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: But I don't know that for sure. I just know about our history.

00:09:02.660 --> 00:09:08.459 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: It's impacted us within group, and it is impacted us between groups

00:09:08.910 --> 00:09:23.990 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: in the work that I do on dismantling racism. I see so many people, particularly people of color, who've talked about the pain of either being dark skin or being fair skin.

00:09:24.400 --> 00:09:32.719 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I've even had white people to say to me that they have experienced pain being the darker ones in their family.

00:09:33.410 --> 00:09:37.700 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We play so much emphasis on skin color.

00:09:37.990 --> 00:09:43.060 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We even tease people about their skin color,

00:09:43.560 --> 00:09:57.540 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and unfortunately, the pain that I see the end result is that they don't feel good about themselves. Even when they're seventy and eighty years old They're still carrying those worms.

00:09:57.800 --> 00:10:02.860 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I know that we grew up using terms without even giving it a thought,

00:10:02.870 --> 00:10:14.039 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: not truly understanding the applications. You know those terms that we use in our community as black people. When we call people redbone

00:10:14.120 --> 00:10:15.460 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: or yellow,

00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:18.999 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: we refer to people

00:10:19.730 --> 00:10:30.080 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: by their skin, thinking that sometimes it's a term of endearment that we're using. But we're misguided in our thinking,

00:10:30.610 --> 00:10:35.360 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and we don't even understand the implications of it.

00:10:35.670 --> 00:10:42.350 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: How deep those wounds go, and how it impacts them in the way that they show up in life,

00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:47.930 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: never thinking that they're good enough, never believing that they're worthy.

00:10:49.350 --> 00:10:58.820 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And so often those people don't reach their highest potential. They don't manifest their greatness, and as a result we all lose out.

00:10:59.260 --> 00:11:04.000 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We lose out when we don't see the potential in one another.

00:11:05.330 --> 00:11:14.720 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And when we categorize people based on race based on skin color based on any type of othering.

00:11:15.020 --> 00:11:23.570 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Well, today, on our show we are going to be talking about the truth be told about the one drop rule,

00:11:23.800 --> 00:11:31.019 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: because, as my guest says, our Dna is the storage device that holds the unvarnished truth

00:11:31.470 --> 00:11:33.840 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and cannot be destroyed.

00:11:34.250 --> 00:11:45.780 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Truth be told, the trauma of enslavement and the assault of the loins of enslaved females created a mulatto race and destroyed the one drop rule.

00:11:45.850 --> 00:12:05.049 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: The sad truth is, white supremacist are willing to act in violence to protect a white race, choosing to forget what white Europeans settlers created a mongrel race when they raped and impregnated African enslaved women and children.

00:12:05.250 --> 00:12:20.410 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And so, after slavery was a legal and social discrimination was the primary incentives for whites to hide genetic relationships with blacks for enslaved people. In particular,

00:12:20.730 --> 00:12:26.689 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: therefore, the one-drop rule became a tool of white supremacy and

00:12:27.380 --> 00:12:32.270 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: genetic relationships with blacks or enslaved people

00:12:33.380 --> 00:12:36.000 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: changed over time

00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:38.660 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: because of that supremacy.

00:12:39.290 --> 00:12:59.000 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Most human attitudes and behavior have both a genetic and an environmental component. And so we're going to take a look at some of those things today. It's also true that our fear, intolerance, prejudice, and discriminations of others who are different from us, show up,

00:12:59.010 --> 00:13:01.839 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: based on how we perceive

00:13:02.190 --> 00:13:03.810 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: whether or black

00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:05.120 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: right,

00:13:05.420 --> 00:13:06.610 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: four

00:13:06.640 --> 00:13:07.660 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: other,

00:13:08.290 --> 00:13:19.310 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: the Racial Integrity Act of one thousand nine hundred and twenty four mandated every person be clearly defined, identified in terms of their race up on birth.

00:13:19.420 --> 00:13:39.099 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And so Dna provides knowledge of who you came from, and with that knowledge we may better understand who we are. Fall Of the treachery lies, deceit, false history, and systemic oppression.

00:13:39.540 --> 00:13:55.689 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I could go on and on and on. But our guest today says that discipline racism begins with owning the truth, considering the racial make up of the Continental United States and the world at large.

00:13:56.150 --> 00:14:14.659 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I cannot wait to introduce you to my guest today, Eunice Buffington, but we're going to take a quick break, and when I come back i'll tell you a little bit about her, and what she has been doing over the last several years, and how it's time to tell the truth

00:14:14.670 --> 00:14:24.220 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: about the one drop rule. We'll be right back with my guest today. This is the dismantle racism show. I'm your host, the Reverend Dr. Tlc.

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00:16:38.990 --> 00:17:07.199 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We are back with the dismantled racism show. My guest today is Eunice Buffinson. Eunice Bucklington is a geologist, a family historian, a speaker, and a Youtube host. She was born in Memphis, Tennessee, raised in the farther south, in Harris Gray, Mississippi, home of Ida B. Wells. She went to an Hbcu Russ College,

00:17:07.210 --> 00:17:13.780 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and she also was a part of the Us. Army. She is a retired

00:17:13.790 --> 00:17:29.530 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Cw. Four and bronze star recipient with the Bs. In psychology she has an Ma. In human resource management. She is the owner and the creator of the family tree. Buff, Llc.

00:17:29.540 --> 00:17:40.429 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Ah, she has been researching her roots in Mississippi, Georgia, and Arkansas, connecting the dots of enslaved ancestors from South Carolina,

00:17:40.440 --> 00:18:02.170 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: North Carolina, and Virginia for over twelve years, revealing actually the Trauma in the family tree. She is the current president of the Afro-american Historical and Geological Society in Memphis and Mid-south. Now, if you wonder why i'm stumbling a little bit over my words, it is

00:18:02.180 --> 00:18:24.599 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: because I am just as pleased as Punch to have units on my show, because the best thing about her introduction for me, I love all the work that she's doing. But she is my high school classmate. And so it is so wonderful to have. I think you actually are my first high school classmate to have one. I've had other people from

00:18:24.610 --> 00:18:38.220 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: our hometown. But I am just so excited to welcome you to the show today. I've been gushing all since yesterday, I think, thinking about you being on the show. So welcome, welcome, welcome!

00:18:38.230 --> 00:18:41.890 Eunice Buffington: Thank you. I am excited to be here an honor to be here.

00:18:41.900 --> 00:18:42.889 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So the thing

00:18:42.900 --> 00:19:06.829 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: what I want to tell our guests about you. This because one of the things that I start out asking is around how we ground ourselves in the work that we do, and I know that your work is fascinating. But I think it's really important for our guests to know how committed you are to doing the work of dismantling racism to doing the work of

00:19:06.840 --> 00:19:27.929 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: really overcoming and helping folks to understand the trauma of racism. Eunice is coming to us today from the hospital now as much as I tried to tell her that she didn't have to show up today. She is committed to doing so. So you just tell us, Why is it important for you

00:19:27.940 --> 00:19:31.110 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: to be here? Because you know, i'm a person who

00:19:31.530 --> 00:19:37.930 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: he believes in self-care. So talk to us about Why, you are here today.

00:19:38.260 --> 00:19:52.980 Eunice Buffington: Well, Ah! I I also believe in self-care. But i'm a person that needs it. Ah! Part of that self-care is not allowing ah trauma, or Ah! Things that affect us to hold us back. Ah! And so sometimes it becomes a part of our,

00:19:53.010 --> 00:19:57.299 Eunice Buffington: you know. I'm stealing forward. It's so, because

00:19:57.330 --> 00:20:04.390 Eunice Buffington: i'm so excited, and looking forward to telling my truth, we're doing my truth of somebody so it can affect and help you

00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:15.289 Eunice Buffington: somebody else, and no matter where i'm at, and what space i'm in, I can still be able to do that. You know what you know. So actually you are

00:20:16.280 --> 00:20:19.050 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: reminding me of Harriet Tubman.

00:20:19.060 --> 00:20:24.610 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I admire her so much because Harriet Tubman was a woman who had seizures.

00:20:24.620 --> 00:20:53.599 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: She did not allow that to stop her, though from running freedom when she could have had a seizure at any point in time. And so I just applaud you for the work that you are doing, and and the ways in which you are showing up in the world, and taking care of yourself in the process, because Eunice did assure me that I am taking care of myself, and if she could do what you, she would do it. But you there's one other little piece that I want to just share with people

00:20:53.610 --> 00:21:10.169 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: that I think is so. Ah fascinating! And you and I talked about this when we talk for the show. So Eunice and I in high school many, many, Many years ago we went to Holly Springs High School, and we ran for Miss Holly High.

00:21:10.180 --> 00:21:24.369 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And here's what's interesting about our stories, and in the ways in which the sacred begins to plant things in us that we are not even aware of. So Eunice did a piece, a dramatic piece

00:21:24.380 --> 00:21:30.779 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: from Sojourner Truth call ain't I a woman, and I did a piece

00:21:30.800 --> 00:21:43.950 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: from James Weldon Johnson's a go-down death which was a series of sermons. So how ironic is it that today that Eunice is doing this work on looking

00:21:43.960 --> 00:22:02.239 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: at trauma and for women in particular, and looking at um like the ways in which we can overcome that, and you were connected with sojourn of truth. Back then, I ended up being a pastor didn't know it,

00:22:02.510 --> 00:22:22.009 Eunice Buffington: and so it shows the ways in which the sacred begins to put those kernels in our our spirits and our minds. And so it just brings up really just very powerful memories for us. For me it does to connect back to

00:22:22.220 --> 00:22:29.789 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: beginning for us, and we are also from the hometown of I to be Wells, which is also significant.

00:22:29.800 --> 00:22:36.520 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: But I don't know about you, Eunice. I don't think they taught us very much about I to be wells when I grew up

00:22:37.290 --> 00:22:38.390 Eunice Buffington: they did not,

00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:45.109 Eunice Buffington: and so I' on my own journey, after what I've learned so much. And I was astounded because I felt like

00:22:45.270 --> 00:22:47.499 from the hometown of

00:22:47.630 --> 00:23:03.440 Eunice Buffington: Why do I have to go somewhere else to learn that to learn about her and what she did. And so i'm astounded to realize how much I remed that that education system was in teaching us about our our heroes

00:23:03.450 --> 00:23:05.510 adherence.

00:23:05.520 --> 00:23:07.050 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Do you think it was intentional?

00:23:07.530 --> 00:23:08.700 Eunice Buffington: I do.

00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:12.109 Eunice Buffington: In my research I found

00:23:12.150 --> 00:23:31.139 Eunice Buffington: research and African-americans. You find very little, and you you have to but connect the dots. That's why I use that term for nipping the dots, whereas when I, researching um of another race, a Caucasian for primarily Spanish other race. It's not so. Um. Their Their history is not even

00:23:31.150 --> 00:23:42.590 Eunice Buffington: our history. Our connections are hidden, hidden, disruptive, disturbed. And so you have to connect the dots to discover our from

00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:44.680 Eunice Buffington: it's. What I think it was in digital,

00:23:44.690 --> 00:23:48.069 Eunice Buffington: and they're leaving out some of the people that

00:23:48.080 --> 00:23:52.789 Eunice Buffington: that we as African-americans. Yeah. So I think that wasn't

00:23:52.800 --> 00:24:09.170 Eunice Buffington: because knowledge is power right? Leave it out then, we don't know how powerful we don't know of ourselves as the minority. Those are intentional terms as well. But you just tell us

00:24:09.840 --> 00:24:20.620 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: a bit about your journey. And what what was it that led you to say, Look, I want to find out more about me and who I am.

00:24:21.200 --> 00:24:24.429 Eunice Buffington: That's a great question. I started my journey

00:24:24.600 --> 00:24:27.090 Eunice Buffington: uh looking for my great great grandfather.

00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:28.880 Eunice Buffington: When I was in the army,

00:24:29.890 --> 00:24:31.790 Eunice Buffington: another soldier

00:24:31.800 --> 00:24:37.150 Eunice Buffington: asked me, and he was he was he was causing. He asked me, what did I know about my name,

00:24:37.810 --> 00:24:44.130 Eunice Buffington: and honestly, I did not know anything about my name. I just knew I got it from my father, and it was my that's where it came from.

00:24:44.140 --> 00:24:49.040 Eunice Buffington: But what what that told me was he knew something that I did not know

00:24:49.050 --> 00:25:04.550 Eunice Buffington: about the history of my name, and so, when I was in a master's course about my family district, and that started me on that journey,

00:25:05.060 --> 00:25:07.850 Eunice Buffington: and and with that I found

00:25:07.970 --> 00:25:13.489 Eunice Buffington: I thought that I was in from people that came from Memphis in Holland Springs, Mississippi.

00:25:13.500 --> 00:25:18.169 Eunice Buffington: What I found was I descend from enslaved Africans

00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:27.789 Eunice Buffington: of the Caribbean, three people of color, native Indians, Scottish and French immigrants. Dna test the

00:25:27.940 --> 00:25:34.120 Eunice Buffington: uncovered, the entwined heritage of a legacy of generator, Toronto, so powerful that

00:25:34.280 --> 00:25:50.320 Eunice Buffington: it illuminated the practice of Scottish and Irish and French immigrants, taking young indigenous nail-american black Caribbean allowed young girls and making them concrete

00:25:52.370 --> 00:25:55.200 Eunice Buffington: connected me to so many Dna cousins that

00:25:55.520 --> 00:26:03.989 Eunice Buffington: this discovery turned my passion for ancestry and genealogy, and connecting the dots to a call for action, a

00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.890 Eunice Buffington: but revealing the hurt to heal the

00:26:06.900 --> 00:26:10.700 Eunice Buffington: and that started my personal journey and my personal story.

00:26:10.710 --> 00:26:25.380 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Um, I have so many questions from that, you know, in terms of Ah, and we do have to take a quick break. But like just when we come back. I really would love to hear what happened when you got connected with some of those

00:26:25.390 --> 00:26:31.990 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: cousins. If you had an opportunity to talk to them. You know you're saying it revealed this

00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:44.540 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: really a family trauma right There's some similarities that you might have noticed, and you weren't even you weren't even born and raised together. So i'd love to just hear what that was like for you. But

00:26:44.780 --> 00:26:54.159 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: what did it mean for you, Eunice? If you could think about this a little bit during the break. What did it mean for you to discover

00:26:54.170 --> 00:27:12.110 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: your heritage, and where you came from? Because, like you said, you grew up with thinking about Holly Springs, Mississippi, and Memphis, and and for those of you who know Holly Springs is a little down, you know it's it. And so Ah, we are limited in our thinking

00:27:12.790 --> 00:27:30.619 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: if we just based it right on the environments that would limit. So i'd love to talk with you more about that when we come back? What did it mean to to expand who you are? We're going to take a quick break. This is the dismantle racism show, and when we come back we'll hear more from my guest us.

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00:29:35.490 --> 00:30:04.889 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We're back with my guest today, Eunice Buckington, and I just want to remind you, if you are listening on Facebook, or if you have any questions, comments for us. Please do comment on Facebook, and let us know what you think about Today's show um you just before the break. I was um asking you to think about what it was like for you to discover your heritage. If you're like me growing up in Mississippi, we thought there was,

00:30:04.900 --> 00:30:26.469 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and there was white, because no one really talked about anything other than that, even though we had a few people at the University who were from other places. But it wasn't until I moved out of the South that I really started to experience this kaleidoscope. So what was that light for you to find out your here?

00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:35.960 Eunice Buffington: It was truly eye-opening. It was a very eye-open, experience, because in in connecting to my answers I really found myself

00:30:36.060 --> 00:30:39.670 Eunice Buffington: and that was real up, really

00:30:40.320 --> 00:30:53.539 Eunice Buffington: cathartic for me because I found myself in that, and I found that little girl that was traumatized all too often in my work

00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:56.499 Eunice Buffington: I discovered trauma and family trees,

00:30:56.730 --> 00:31:15.200 Eunice Buffington: followed by a successive pattern of dysfunction with their family, and for years I he is my own personal trauma, and adapted to live in a toxic life existing in a trauma and kind of just repeated traumatic behavior. But the counseling journalist, storytelling

00:31:15.210 --> 00:31:31.460 Eunice Buffington: found words reveal that her without doing the pain over and over again, and so I sought to become a gateway, to spot, to speak, to stop, and to soothe the generation.

00:31:36.100 --> 00:31:37.150 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So

00:31:38.180 --> 00:31:53.060 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: what have been some of the things that you've noticed in terms of patterns not just for your family, but overall when you're looking at the genealogy, particularly for black folks.

00:31:53.070 --> 00:32:02.089 Eunice Buffington: What are some common traumas, that surface, And what are some of the behaviors that result from that trauma

00:32:02.100 --> 00:32:03.830 at the beginning of the show you meant to.

00:32:03.850 --> 00:32:09.199 Eunice Buffington: You've meant to something that, and that was that even in our own families

00:32:09.490 --> 00:32:20.290 Eunice Buffington: we look at each other based on the on appearances and color, and make a determination, and that is traumatizing even in families.

00:32:20.300 --> 00:32:25.890 Eunice Buffington: And so and I discovered that in family trees, especially if there's

00:32:27.490 --> 00:32:38.290 Eunice Buffington: but they're step kids step children, and somebody's life with a lot, a lot of affection, a different color in the different colors that creates a traumatic

00:32:38.300 --> 00:32:42.990 Eunice Buffington: children, and Chris a dramatic instant in adults.

00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:45.090 Eunice Buffington: I used it myself.

00:32:45.100 --> 00:32:53.480 Eunice Buffington: I'm the darkest in my family, and I lived myself to the point that I was when I was young. I was very, very concerned about my

00:32:53.630 --> 00:32:56.749 Eunice Buffington: it's insecure because of my color.

00:32:56.850 --> 00:33:03.940 Eunice Buffington: My grandmother was my saving greatest. He told me that gave me the story of the black of the bear in the speed of the Jews

00:33:04.300 --> 00:33:09.650 Eunice Buffington: that that I took me everywhere. I went for somebody to call me black, and I would be talk with that.

00:33:09.660 --> 00:33:14.160 Eunice Buffington: But deep down it's not it hurt. Those pain is so.

00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:18.940 Eunice Buffington: We remember that. And I found that in other family trees I've also found that

00:33:19.370 --> 00:33:21.189 the trauma of Princess

00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:23.189 Eunice Buffington: the trump of chapel, sexual abuse that

00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:27.889 Eunice Buffington: that was my that was my that's my personal trauma, was the childhood sexual abuse.

00:33:29.030 --> 00:33:32.890 Eunice Buffington: When I came to the Mrs. Holly springs I was coming from that.

00:33:32.900 --> 00:33:34.989 Eunice Buffington: I was being rescued from that

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:43.689 Eunice Buffington: when I joined the army. As I talked about my life I never went past. When I came in high screens. I never told anybody about my life in this.

00:33:43.700 --> 00:33:45.620 Eunice Buffington: I always started

00:33:46.020 --> 00:33:46.989 in high streets.

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:58.659 Eunice Buffington: I would skip over the trauma, and so I find that in just repeating a lot of the mental abuse, sex and abuse sexual trauma

00:33:59.190 --> 00:34:15.669 Eunice Buffington: of separation patterns, I've got all that and Demetries, and what happens is we don't deal with that drummer. We begin to repeat the cycle of that trauma, not even realizing that you're repeated. So for me, personal mind of child sexual abuse,

00:34:15.850 --> 00:34:18.589 Eunice Buffington: advocate uh sexual, promiscuous.

00:34:18.600 --> 00:34:20.999 Eunice Buffington: So by thirteen I was a mother

00:34:21.389 --> 00:34:25.170 Eunice Buffington: So most people that my friends never knew my

00:34:25.300 --> 00:34:27.510 my where I came from I came from

00:34:27.520 --> 00:34:28.620 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Umhm.

00:34:29.210 --> 00:34:30.540 When you don't talk

00:34:30.730 --> 00:34:32.189 Eunice Buffington: process

00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:51.140 Eunice Buffington: that trauma and that hang you off to repeat it and to race mm-hmm absolutely, absolutely. And I know that as a psychologist and the teenagers that I worked with, and how we can actually blame the people

00:34:51.280 --> 00:35:10.759 Eunice Buffington: victim, survivor, whatever language that we want to use in that um without understanding that people repeat patterns that they experience. And it's interesting. I want to just go back to this phrase, the black of the berry, because I remember that we used to say that,

00:35:10.770 --> 00:35:25.419 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and even up into adulthood, because we said it as a term of endearment. Now I can't quote the rest of that quote, but actually that whole phrase, the black of the berry and the suite of the juice. There's another part that goes with it that's damaging,

00:35:25.430 --> 00:35:34.759 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and I can't remember for the life of me what it is. So if there's somebody listening out here knows the rest of that grace. But we took it as an ownership.

00:35:34.770 --> 00:35:50.179 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Right. We took it as listen. The black and the berry sweeted to do so. There's something wonderful about me, however. At the same time we did that. We also talked about people who were dark scanned like I can remember from high school,

00:35:50.190 --> 00:36:02.689 Eunice Buffington: you know I I I in. In fact, I remember a particular person I will not call Ah, his name on the show, but you and I both know we used to. He. We had a name for him. He was beloved, though

00:36:02.700 --> 00:36:11.590 Eunice Buffington: he was a good person. But how do we know that that nickname for him Wasn't something that actually caused him

00:36:11.610 --> 00:36:19.480 Eunice Buffington: right. We don't know that. And I remember also. This is the other thing about the trauma of enslavement

00:36:19.820 --> 00:36:22.369 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: within our own culture.

00:36:23.150 --> 00:36:31.670 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: One of the things that we can often do, so we can in one sense applaud the light skin both,

00:36:31.790 --> 00:36:43.679 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and in another sense tear them down in the same way, and it wasn't until I became, I would say, an adult doing this work, and I was in a workshop one day, and

00:36:43.710 --> 00:37:02.889 Eunice Buffington: I was talking to people about the pain of their past, and this one woman stood up, who was a very light-skinned woman, and there was a phrase we used to use for for light skin, too, we would say, light right damn near white. So she stood up with such pain,

00:37:03.030 --> 00:37:05.759 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and this woman had to be close to A. B.

00:37:06.150 --> 00:37:14.650 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: She stood up and talked about the pain of I was never black enough for black people that I was never white enough for right.

00:37:15.080 --> 00:37:23.720 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: And So you see the damage that we do, and and especially if you're the other in your family,

00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:30.520 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: quite painful. And so I wonder, as you were, as you do this work?

00:37:31.530 --> 00:37:33.409 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: How do you help

00:37:33.560 --> 00:37:44.449 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: people to navigate this? So I I heard you as you were talking. You use the term that you spot speed, stop and soothe. So how do you help?

00:37:44.460 --> 00:37:55.809 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I know that's particularly for children, But talk a little bit about your work, and how you help people deal with the trauma that they experience.

00:37:56.450 --> 00:38:14.550 Eunice Buffington: I I try to civilize, and I call it the the whole essence of surviving generation. Trauma spot, I mean identified. Yes, I did it by the sign of a generation of trauma, and most of the time trauma shows up in the body the signs of trauma show the first in the body sleep disturbances,

00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:29.929 Eunice Buffington: not being able to eat the the first time the trauma's children are, and up like. So, even for children, the first sides of trauma showed them the body, and so they're disruptive patterns in their sleep, and they're eating behavior in the way they behave.

00:38:30.010 --> 00:38:34.690 Eunice Buffington: Those are signs of trauma. So, being able to to spot those signs of trauma,

00:38:40.730 --> 00:38:47.690 Eunice Buffington: to be able to recognize those sign that would speak allow a child a person to be able to speak,

00:38:47.700 --> 00:39:01.249 Eunice Buffington: and I call it, revealed of her to heal. And so for me I had to. I had to go back to that five-year-old child, and reveal that her to be able to process it in heel,

00:39:01.290 --> 00:39:02.859 Eunice Buffington: the counseling,

00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:04.640 Eunice Buffington: journaling,

00:39:04.790 --> 00:39:14.409 Eunice Buffington: and up other ways, reading to be able to sold from that, and then the other one. To stop stop is to be the I wanted to be the change agent,

00:39:14.760 --> 00:39:16.490 Eunice Buffington: to say no more,

00:39:16.640 --> 00:39:25.280 Eunice Buffington: no more. And so each person can be that in your family and your your situation, a dynamic would be the change able to say no.

00:39:25.300 --> 00:39:27.849 Eunice Buffington: When you spot spot it, identify it,

00:39:28.110 --> 00:39:34.249 Eunice Buffington: speak about it, and be able to her to heal, soothe from it, to be the chain maybe say, stop

00:39:34.300 --> 00:39:42.830 Eunice Buffington: would be, and I I decided that would be me and my family, I would be the change agent to say,

00:39:42.940 --> 00:39:58.430 Eunice Buffington: How did your family receive you when you started doing this work? And actually, you know when we stop and we're going to be the change agent. It shakes up those dynamics.

00:39:58.440 --> 00:40:13.090 Eunice Buffington: People start to reveal their truth, and that's when we begin to heal, and that's when we begin to reveal our truth and accept our truth. That's when the field would start.

00:40:13.100 --> 00:40:23.710 Eunice Buffington: So, even in my own family, so initially, my family was resistant to. Why do you want to talk about that? Why this pain

00:40:23.750 --> 00:40:36.790 Eunice Buffington: now, as we reveal the truth, and they recognize, because in some of that truth someone will recognize that happened to me as well. Something like that happened to me as well. I am not alone,

00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:52.449 Eunice Buffington: so as you would get a reveal your truth. Some of us will accept and recognize that it can reveal theirs. You know you. You are just really speaking to on so many levels about so many ways in which we're traumatized. And so

00:40:52.460 --> 00:41:07.869 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: I want our audience to know that we are talking about dismantling racism today, and we're specifically talking about looking at our family structures and our genealogy. But really what you are speaking, and these

00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:32.319 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: tools that you're giving us to spot, speak, stop and soothe are really transcending the conversation of race, and that we can use those when we want to kill. The scary thing is about opening up those rules. And I know as a psychologist, when I've worked with people particularly particularly around sexual abuse, I can always spot

00:41:32.460 --> 00:41:34.790 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: of, or typically spot

00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:53.760 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: when someone has been abused, and when I worked with teenagers, and they would tell me about how their mother, because usually in my case, it was a mother, They would tell me how their mother was behaving, and I would just gently say to them, I think your mother probably has experienced some things in life

00:41:53.770 --> 00:42:07.789 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: that you are unaware of, and that there are some feelings, perhaps, of unworthiness, sadness, Blah! Blah, blah! That's causing her to respond in that way. It's not excusing her behavior.

00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:15.099 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: But I just want you to understand, and particularly when I worked with young ladies who had been abused.

00:42:15.300 --> 00:42:19.630 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: But they didn't know their mother's history. I would say to them,

00:42:19.720 --> 00:42:27.410 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: somewhere in in your mother's past. She has probably been abused, even if she Hasn't, had the conversation,

00:42:28.180 --> 00:42:46.229 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: because such traumatic things would happen to these young ladies, and it would seem like the mother just was out in another place in space. And so, if we don't, deal with it, and if we don't, deal with, there's the deeper level of this as well.

00:42:46.240 --> 00:42:49.119 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: With this, with understanding, trauma.

00:42:49.440 --> 00:42:52.340 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Whether it's any kind of abuse

00:42:52.570 --> 00:42:54.770 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: our own self-hatred

00:42:55.240 --> 00:43:02.350 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: our own ability. When people are abusing to see that other person as human.

00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:10.710 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: We particularly see this when we look at our history and our honor, families of physical abuse,

00:43:10.780 --> 00:43:25.359 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: and you know we talk about weapons and spankings and all of that, and and sometimes we laugh those things off my mother with me by behind or throw a shoe at me. But what we see it all on the Internet of people talking about it. Part of that comes from

00:43:25.890 --> 00:43:28.919 Eunice Buffington: enslavement, Islam

00:43:28.940 --> 00:43:31.200 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: when we were to it Less than

00:43:31.210 --> 00:43:41.190 Eunice Buffington: That's from chromicides of abuse of slavery, and we picked up those patterns and use them out within our families, and I see that all over again in family trees.

00:43:41.200 --> 00:43:44.759 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Yes, and you know I I know that

00:43:44.820 --> 00:44:11.160 Eunice Buffington: I know that we're also doing it sometimes as a mode of survival, because we don't want the other person. We don't want white folks to end up doing some things, so we in our history. We used it as a way of we're going to control it. But then it goes over into something else. We do have to take a break, and and we will be right back with more discussion from my guest today. Unice

00:44:11.430 --> 00:44:12.500 some here,

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00:45:56.600 --> 00:45:57.390 The

00:45:57.400 --> 00:45:58.370 and

00:46:11.280 --> 00:46:19.859 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: we're back with my guest today. Eunice Buffington, Eunice, tell me a little bit about. So you

00:46:20.200 --> 00:46:21.759 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: discovered

00:46:21.830 --> 00:46:37.659 Eunice Buffington: the traumas in your family language. But what some surprising things that you discovered as you were going through this because you've been doing this now for about twelve years. I think that you said so. What was so

00:46:37.670 --> 00:46:42.489 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: surprising things? And you know some, maybe some more memorable things

00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:49.419 Eunice Buffington: in the in the concept of family or my own personal,

00:46:49.430 --> 00:46:51.689 Eunice Buffington: both anything you'd like to share

00:46:51.700 --> 00:46:52.769 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: with us

00:46:53.160 --> 00:46:57.340 Eunice Buffington: one of the one of the most surprising things that I found out.

00:46:57.370 --> 00:46:59.170 So it's that generalistic trauma

00:46:59.290 --> 00:47:03.849 Eunice Buffington: that I carry my mother and my grandmother.

00:47:03.860 --> 00:47:04.990 Eunice Buffington: Okay,

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:08.780 Eunice Buffington: had a that very same thing, and it

00:47:08.830 --> 00:47:23.189 Eunice Buffington: that just showed me it's happening with my family. That was the other thing. So it was not just me I, and doing the research I got my mother's.

00:47:23.220 --> 00:47:30.980 Eunice Buffington: That was very important to me, and I opened it here. I hope. Another thing that I learned in this is that

00:47:32.590 --> 00:47:35.760 Eunice Buffington: how to become a person that you see today

00:47:35.770 --> 00:47:37.499 Eunice Buffington: I became the President

00:47:37.540 --> 00:47:40.089 Eunice Buffington: because I had to go back and deal with the

00:47:40.340 --> 00:47:41.490 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: yes,

00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:50.110 Eunice Buffington: all that that child of trauma, of those events in my life that helped me change my life, to lead me to be the person I am to date,

00:47:50.120 --> 00:47:56.939 Eunice Buffington: because I feel God's playing in my life of the person I was destiny. I had to go back and acknowledge. In truth,

00:47:57.490 --> 00:47:58.689 Eunice Buffington: the pay us.

00:47:58.700 --> 00:47:59.740 Eunice Buffington: It's a

00:48:00.170 --> 00:48:08.220 Eunice Buffington: that was very important to me, and and I and I speak that when I speak to others in generational trauma. Is that the

00:48:08.820 --> 00:48:12.100 Eunice Buffington: in order to you have to find your own truth,

00:48:12.370 --> 00:48:16.749 Eunice Buffington: the truth? It comes to how you became to be the person that you are today, the

00:48:17.770 --> 00:48:19.770 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: yes, and so

00:48:20.510 --> 00:48:33.090 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: what? What? I believe that you're actually saying to our audience? And one of the things I heard you You you're like really saying so clearly is that you can't get to your greatness without going back and dealing with some mess.

00:48:33.100 --> 00:48:34.490 Eunice Buffington: Yes, I

00:48:34.500 --> 00:48:47.789 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: you have, and a part of your greatness is understanding and getting through that part. Tell us about some of the folks. Maybe you met along the way in your

00:48:47.870 --> 00:48:54.590 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: your lineage, and understanding that name Buffington, and and what it you know.

00:48:54.600 --> 00:49:08.690 Eunice Buffington: Yeah, let's go back to that for me, and I do. I want to travel to go connected by and enjoy it. So I traveled to Oklahoma and met native American cousin that I had no clue; that I had that looked like me,

00:49:08.700 --> 00:49:19.670 Eunice Buffington: native American, who showed me the lineage, and where the name came from, and how they connect the Cherokee. The Cherokee connected the buffers and line that was instrumental to me.

00:49:20.630 --> 00:49:22.189 Eunice Buffington: Let me

00:49:22.200 --> 00:49:28.159 Eunice Buffington: allow me to see that step in. My Dna is a little piece of all my ancestors.

00:49:28.180 --> 00:49:32.169 Eunice Buffington: I'm just i'm just a Jeanette piece of them.

00:49:32.180 --> 00:49:41.790 Eunice Buffington: Yeah. And so that was A. As I traveled on the world, I went to the Louisiana and connected to the creo. The creo push for me

00:49:41.800 --> 00:49:43.890 Eunice Buffington: had no clue that that

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:47.190 Eunice Buffington: connected to a French cousin.

00:49:47.200 --> 00:49:48.560 Eunice Buffington: So

00:49:48.570 --> 00:49:51.130 Eunice Buffington: all these little pieces and bits and pieces but

00:49:51.190 --> 00:49:53.990 Eunice Buffington: came a part of me, and uh, realizing that

00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:55.479 Eunice Buffington: and more

00:49:56.100 --> 00:49:59.719 Eunice Buffington: that one thing that I thought I want you with so much more.

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.379 Eunice Buffington: It's right. Yeah. And so it's mom and

00:50:04.390 --> 00:50:05.490 Eunice Buffington: Yes, yes.

00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:17.739 Eunice Buffington: So how did they receive you, your your cousins that you connected with when they saw this beautiful black woman, who they probably didn't know they were connected to as well

00:50:17.750 --> 00:50:30.790 Eunice Buffington: well received where we're seeing. Some was a little shock when we first met first, but as we connected the Dna don't lie,

00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:41.289 Eunice Buffington: knowing that the Dna don't alive, realizing that we are actually connected by blood and Dna, I was well received because it was ah open for them as well.

00:50:41.300 --> 00:50:43.679 Eunice Buffington: It's so. If if other people uh

00:50:44.290 --> 00:50:46.660 Eunice Buffington: white people, Caucasian,

00:50:47.400 --> 00:50:49.289 Eunice Buffington: Lex, can French.

00:50:49.300 --> 00:51:08.850 Eunice Buffington: We realize that we are more alive and different, and that it is just our skin color, our appearance that makes us look different, but we are more alike, and if we could do that, we could use those same stop, appeal, use those same things to stop fighting and denying racism,

00:51:08.860 --> 00:51:18.240 Eunice Buffington: to stop being racist, to stop following racist pathetic patterns, to stop creating racism and accepting racism.

00:51:18.250 --> 00:51:19.089 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: Yes,

00:51:19.100 --> 00:51:29.519 Eunice Buffington: yes, yes, and so what I hear you saying, you know, wife, only to do their genealogy as well as

00:51:29.650 --> 00:51:49.909 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: exactly, but in all their truth, in so many different ways, right on their truth, as it relates to what was your family history, as it relates to ah enslavement, and even other genocide and and and ah oppressive acts. But on that, but also what you're saying is that look

00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:53.520 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: underneath all of this. This is just a shell

00:51:54.010 --> 00:52:13.539 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: all interconnected, which is what I say all the time, and even before this show began. Um! Before we went live there's a There's a tune that plays that talks about the universe and talks about us all being interconnected. We really need to stop all of the foolishness.

00:52:13.550 --> 00:52:20.810 Eunice Buffington: Believe that we're different because we are not so. Tell me, unice in our time that we have left.

00:52:22.070 --> 00:52:39.289 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: What would you? How could people begin their own journey of this? Because you did more than just take a Dna test. You spent years researching, and I saw a part of it on Facebook. So what's the first step for folks who want to uncover who they are?

00:52:39.580 --> 00:52:43.110 Eunice Buffington: The first step is to start with you

00:52:43.190 --> 00:52:53.490 Eunice Buffington: the people that you know that, and that's your your parent. That's the first step you know. Build that family tree, and that starts with you and your parents and grandparents Build that family treat,

00:52:53.500 --> 00:52:59.539 Eunice Buffington: and as you as you build your family tree, you'll find in the family tree you'll find in the family tree

00:52:59.550 --> 00:53:01.500 traumatic incidents,

00:53:01.560 --> 00:53:06.880 Eunice Buffington: and as you build, you'll see how, if somebody will have you know it's over here

00:53:06.890 --> 00:53:19.869 Eunice Buffington: when Grand, Grand, a grandchild of cousin also has him. If somebody had some trauma over here, you'll see down the line that trying to repeat itself in the family.

00:53:20.710 --> 00:53:37.989 Eunice Buffington: I did it with a company called Genogram and a geograph. It's just a family treat, but it identifies those kind of patterns. So in the family tree you identify the masks who had the boys who had a strain relationship with a a parent who had

00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:39.529 Eunice Buffington: an outside channel,

00:53:39.550 --> 00:53:45.030 Eunice Buffington: and in that that family tree. So second, you can easily start to see

00:53:45.120 --> 00:53:47.009 Eunice Buffington: the patterns

00:53:47.190 --> 00:53:50.389 Eunice Buffington: generous of trauma and endure that you?

00:53:50.400 --> 00:53:56.600 Eunice Buffington: That's what showed me in my own ventry like Wow! Over and over again

00:53:57.200 --> 00:54:01.089 Eunice Buffington: uh team pregnancy was repeating itself in my family treaty

00:54:01.100 --> 00:54:15.310 Eunice Buffington: and so just simple things. And so you are the president of the afro-american, historical and Genealogy Society. So genealogical. Excuse me, society,

00:54:15.320 --> 00:54:22.789 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: so is that something that anyone can join and become a part of, or what is the process

00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:28.750 Eunice Buffington: absolutely the the ever-in-law's society is a society that's teach you about

00:54:29.100 --> 00:54:32.359 Eunice Buffington: document, research

00:54:32.850 --> 00:54:37.689 Eunice Buffington: and government out the African-american Union, our history, our culture, the

00:54:37.700 --> 00:54:40.080 and our family stories in truth,

00:54:40.250 --> 00:54:52.460 Eunice Buffington: and that, as I say we often have to go, find our family story, connect the dots and tell our own story. That's how the history books have been so distorted.

00:54:52.940 --> 00:54:59.749 Eunice Buffington: Our our story was not to that was not written by us. It was written by someone else. That's right

00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:01.689 Eunice Buffington: in A, in a, in a slant,

00:55:01.700 --> 00:55:16.189 Eunice Buffington: not for not to benefit us. And so, when we can tell our own story the next, and that we are primarily allowed to to allow African-american research to any person to to join and do that very thing to discover your own family school.

00:55:16.200 --> 00:55:33.709 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: So, Eunice, it has been a delight to have you on the show. So before we go, I would love for you to tell people how they could get in touch with you, and whether there there's a service that you provide with helping other folks to do this work

00:55:34.070 --> 00:55:50.910 Eunice Buffington: absolutely. But I i'm on my website mit book dot com i'm on Facebook, Us buffers and and family trip up to the face of that i'm on Linkedin, and i'm also you to

00:55:50.920 --> 00:56:03.729 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: all right, all right. We'll look for Eunice Buffington family tree. Buff. It has been a pleasure to have you with us. Give us for thirty seconds or ten seconds what your? What are your words of inspiration for us?

00:56:05.800 --> 00:56:07.939 Eunice Buffington: Spot. Stop,

00:56:08.580 --> 00:56:10.930 Eunice Buffington: speak soon,

00:56:10.980 --> 00:56:31.810 Eunice Buffington: everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you for being my guests, my high school classmate. I'm so delighted you were here. Thank you all for listening to us today. If you listen to the show afterwards, please do comment. And now stay tuned for the conscious consultant, Al Rusan legalists where

00:56:31.820 --> 00:56:41.049 Rev. Dr. Terrlyn Curry Avery: he helps you to walk through life with the greatest of ease and joy. Be well, be safe. Be encouraged until next time, bye, for now

00:56:55.170 --> 00:56:56.389 don't do too.

00:57:01.850 --> 00:57:05.180 You are listening to talk radio and my.

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