Philanthropy in Phocus

Friday, July 29, 2022
Facebook Live Video from 2022/07/29- Veterans Ending Suicide Together

Facebook Live Video from 2022/07/29- Veterans Ending Suicide Together


2022/07/29- Veterans Ending Suicide Together

[NEW EPISODE] Veterans Ending Suicide Together


Dan Lombard and Mo Vafai as guests.


One Military Member (Past/Present) and First Responder at a time

Project Refit is looking to change the negative connotation of mental health.

Project Refit is doing this by helping implement and support simple, make-sense programs for military members (past/present) and first responders. We incorporate family into these programs, as well as, creating programs for only military and first responders.






Tune in for this sensible conversation at or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.

Show Notes

Segment 1

Segment 2

Segment 3

Segment 4


00:00:48.690 --> 00:00:51.570 Tommy D: Gentlemen boys and girls children of all ages.

00:00:52.110 --> 00:00:55.920 Tommy D: I actually This is my Uncle Sam had you're checking us out on Facebook, but.

00:00:56.340 --> 00:01:02.700 Tommy D: In the backseat of my car and I think one of my kids crushed it so it sort of beds, but that's okay man because uncle sam's not perfect.

00:01:02.940 --> 00:01:09.690 Tommy D: This country is not perfect, our people humans are not perfect, and this has not perfect and it's not staying on very long anyway so i'm going to relax.

00:01:10.500 --> 00:01:17.790 Tommy D: But I figured i've worn this hat on every episode of this program for this month of July today is July 29 2022.

00:01:18.450 --> 00:01:25.860 Tommy D: i'm your boy Tommy the nonprofit sector connector and this whole month has been dedicated to nonprofit organizations who are serving our veterans.

00:01:26.370 --> 00:01:30.300 Tommy D: we've heard the terms, excuse me we've heard that the statistics 22 a day.

00:01:30.780 --> 00:01:42.270 Tommy D: 22 veterans have no way out, other than to tragically take their own lives, and that is an absolute tragedy, we need to address this, we need to talk about it, there are organizations out there that are having these conversations.

00:01:42.660 --> 00:01:46.380 Tommy D: That are providing resources and that are coming together to collaborate.

00:01:46.620 --> 00:02:00.780 Tommy D: And now, while I did not serve this country in our capacity, I feel that my level of service is to help is to help organizations get out there, tell their message, and as I like to say amplify their story, and specifically this month it's been all these.

00:02:01.860 --> 00:02:07.380 Tommy D: are actually today will make six different veteran organizations over five weeks and.

00:02:09.210 --> 00:02:18.300 Tommy D: I think there's another program out there, I think there's a show that i'm going to do, and I think it'll be just to show weekly where I only bring on a veterans organization.

00:02:18.660 --> 00:02:28.530 Tommy D: i'm so drawn I think philanthropy and focus will not feel it I don't think philanthropy focus will exist, but I think there's another show out there, where every week, we have this conversation and every weekend we have this dialogue.

00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:34.740 Tommy D: it's going to be folks like Dan Lombard and we're going to tell me tell me yeah maybe that's right on or maybe it's not we'll talk about that today.

00:02:34.920 --> 00:02:42.780 Tommy D: we're just doing a little networking i'm going to switch asked is, this is a little bent and it looks a little silly it looks even more ridiculous than when I bought it at CVs for $6 and 99.

00:02:43.470 --> 00:02:51.360 Tommy D: CBS what obviously it's so today is really you know it's funny because we had another guest scheduled guest.

00:02:52.050 --> 00:03:04.830 Tommy D: Jenny and Stephen hassler from operation vast veterans ending suicide together out on long island and I totally Dan appreciate you jumping in and last minute we've had project refit on the program in the past, but it was just.

00:03:05.940 --> 00:03:11.730 Tommy D: Unfortunately, Stephen and Jenny had to reschedule and you guys really jumped right in and I totally appreciate that so Dan lumbar.

00:03:11.850 --> 00:03:17.910 Tommy D: With us right on man, one of the one of the founders of project refit good morning my brother, how are you what's going on.

00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.940 dan: Good morning i'm good man, how are you thanks for having me too.

00:03:21.300 --> 00:03:26.310 Tommy D: i'm doing good man yeah i'm psyched to have you here I mean we were just chopping it up a little bit in the virtual green room.

00:03:26.760 --> 00:03:39.690 Tommy D: and getting to know each other so i'd love i've had your co founder and partner in this in this venture James Corbett on the show years past actually last year he was on the show i'm going for networking like I mean most people.

00:03:40.590 --> 00:03:53.970 Tommy D: You know this show is as a call a philanthropy in focus I call myself the nonprofit sector connector and it's all about networks it's all about people it's all about connecting and like anything I we're not strong before it out together i'm not sure if we're not connected.

00:03:55.110 --> 00:04:04.320 Tommy D: I had the opportunity to to text James and say dude what's the deal, can we get somebody on the show and we're here now so that's talking networking desktop.

00:04:04.350 --> 00:04:13.740 Tommy D: connection so that's how the whole thing works, so why don't we start with with you, Dan tell tell us about you know your service, maybe even your upbringing with treated to.

00:04:13.770 --> 00:04:14.460 dan: dash or.

00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:18.150 Tommy D: service and how that all kind of came to this organization you guys created.

00:04:19.110 --> 00:04:30.450 dan: Absolutely yeah, so I am i'm 32 now, so I enlisted when I was 23 I grew up in arm, I mean run of the mill household you know parents their relationship was ending, so there was the all the fights and stuff.

00:04:31.260 --> 00:04:32.970 dan: So I think that that contribute that was one of the.

00:04:33.300 --> 00:04:43.530 dan: main reasons in me joining was to get out of the House, but I also didn't have I knew I didn't have motivation drive determination i'd have haven't said, my own none of that stuff so I was, I was 23 at the time.

00:04:44.430 --> 00:04:59.490 dan: I didn't go to school, yet was working two jobs, helping with the House and everything and then I tried doing the marines first, but I have a chest tattoo and something else, and they they weren't they weren't fond of that so it was a year process.

00:05:00.570 --> 00:05:06.690 dan: Still didn't hear anything so I went to the army recruiter and he said well have you signed two weeks, I said Okay, and then two weeks, he had me sign.

00:05:07.140 --> 00:05:11.130 dan: Well, I went to be no he was not they they wanted their they wanted their numbers.

00:05:12.510 --> 00:05:20.670 dan: So I got I saw my may six I went to basic training, so I did a basic training and a it sand Hill and Georgia.

00:05:22.740 --> 00:05:38.520 dan: So I graduated basic training and went to my my unit, I was stationed at Fort bliss in Fort bliss Texas arm and I had just gotten to the to the base of it, they picked me up from the airport and they said in two months are deploying on so they got all right that's i'm a fan of that.

00:05:39.750 --> 00:05:44.190 Tommy D: To you go there you go to the army recruiting office two weeks you're in your writing.

00:05:44.220 --> 00:05:46.890 dan: Then I do, that I do like a three month training yeah.

00:05:48.090 --> 00:05:55.230 dan: The day after I get out of that three month training they say in two months are going to they thought it was Egypt, the person I was talking to.

00:05:55.830 --> 00:06:05.160 dan: said, Egypt, but it was Afghanistan, the whole time um so I was in West West Afghanistan we were a heavy weapons company so.

00:06:05.730 --> 00:06:20.040 dan: We were in matt these so they're basically like on a former jeeps they're they're they're they're they're very armored they have V bottoms so if there's a bomb underneath it disperses instead of just going straight up it goes to the side so it's not as.

00:06:21.390 --> 00:06:30.510 dan: impactful so um yeah we were a heavy weapons company, we had a five vehicles mark 19 was one of them, which is an automatic grenade launcher.

00:06:31.110 --> 00:06:38.640 dan: that's important for story that's coming up, so when we got to Afghanistan we weren't in charge of Afghanistan, like the.

00:06:39.390 --> 00:06:52.110 dan: We were in charge of our base to make sure that the Taliban didn't interject with our base or anything like that the Italians that were on our base were in charge of the combat operations, so my leadership wanted combat operations.

00:06:53.130 --> 00:06:59.820 dan: So they I guess they pressed enough enough buttons and they said hey we want to start doing some missions, so they started letting us go out on screen lines which is.

00:07:00.900 --> 00:07:12.120 dan: Taliban they patrol the villages, the same way we do they just do it at nighttime so we would go and sit outside of the village for eight hours, however long that like 600 meters out and see if anyone does it.

00:07:14.250 --> 00:07:15.060 dan: Your logo on.

00:07:15.390 --> 00:07:18.210 Tommy D: Your your unit is out there, Washington.

00:07:18.210 --> 00:07:19.770 Tommy D: See the Taliban is going to.

00:07:20.640 --> 00:07:29.250 dan: go in just going in villages and even talking to the people, because that's what we do we go when we talk, are you are you sympathizers for the Taliban, do you want the Americans here what's the case.

00:07:29.910 --> 00:07:35.790 dan: Most literally most of the time of his, can you please get the Taliban away from us like they're they're taking everything from us.

00:07:37.440 --> 00:07:46.020 dan: So a couple I mean I have my first firefight because of that, I was in probably i'd say a dozen maybe maybe a little little more it's hard to hard to say, obviously, but the.

00:07:46.590 --> 00:08:00.630 dan: The most impactful thing I think was the I got blown up twice on the first one was a 200 pound ID so that was a those vehicles are our vehicles use jet fuel because it won't catch on fire as fast, so I was driving.

00:08:01.710 --> 00:08:05.970 dan: I was the second vehicle information, so there was one in front of me three behind me.

00:08:06.930 --> 00:08:14.430 dan: you're about 75 to 100 meters, apart from each other, each other and you're taught that if you if the vehicle in front of you doesn't hit an ID.

00:08:14.760 --> 00:08:26.910 dan: improvised explosive device for anybody not listening it's just a roadside bomb um if the vehicle in front of you doesn't hit one of those then there's a really good change you're not going to either i'm.

00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:30.930 Tommy D: Calling the same day in your phone the same path right So yes.

00:08:31.020 --> 00:08:32.190 dan: i'm just following and our time.

00:08:32.790 --> 00:08:33.900 Tommy D: That makes sense right.

00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:42.540 dan: Yes, yes um So the issue of, that is, though, too, so we were driving in a it's called a lottie it's a river without the water.

00:08:43.290 --> 00:08:48.570 dan: You don't need me to just a riverbed so they use that as a highway the locals and then we use that as a highway obviously.

00:08:49.530 --> 00:08:55.140 dan: So there's a lot of tire marks there's a lot of track marks it wasn't just our vehicles trademarks that had to be followed.

00:08:55.500 --> 00:09:06.390 dan: On so I was in a conversation with my lieutenant who was sitting to my right and I was talking about how we were talking about how we were the only one who hadn't gotten blown up by an idea.

00:09:07.050 --> 00:09:16.500 dan: So I had turned to him, because I have a habit of looking at people when I speak to them, and when I turned to him i'm driving I turned to him my main vehicle made their turn.

00:09:16.890 --> 00:09:24.930 dan: So I don't see where they turn yeah I was like I didn't even see where they turn so I hadn't guessed really it was it was it was a.

00:09:25.470 --> 00:09:38.160 dan: It was a guessing game um so I guess wrong, so my back left tire hit the air I don't know what hit the pressure plate, but the ID hit the back left tire so the back left tire flew off and that's like a.

00:09:39.210 --> 00:09:43.650 dan: Probably like a four or five foot tall tire you know mean they're not small tires um.

00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:56.490 dan: So and hit the fuel line in the oil line so that immediately ignited a fire in those vehicles each door has a metal lever about a foot long it's called a combat lock you pulled over nothing from the outside, is getting it.

00:09:57.750 --> 00:10:04.980 dan: I didn't come now, remember, I was driving, so I didn't combat luck mine and the interpreter behind me didn't combat lock his so when the.

00:10:05.850 --> 00:10:15.330 dan: ID went off it's an implosion, then the next clue so when the implosion happened, and then it exploded the doors flew open because they weren't combat law.

00:10:15.570 --> 00:10:19.140 Tommy D: So let me stop everything that comes that combat lock thing you're.

00:10:19.140 --> 00:10:23.880 Tommy D: Saying that's not a reaction to something happening now, those are things you would do that.

00:10:24.390 --> 00:10:30.930 dan: Like normally that's preventative measure from keeping anybody from coming into the vehicle that I don't want in the vehicle while we're outside of base.

00:10:31.650 --> 00:10:41.850 dan: um yeah no problem, so we had a for some reason one oh, I know what the reason is nevermind we had 100 round build up 762 so that's what our to 40 shoots.

00:10:42.960 --> 00:10:48.900 dan: that's what are 242 so it was amounted to four or it was a dismounted to 40 somebody had left a.

00:10:49.740 --> 00:11:05.760 dan: belt of their ammo in my vehicle and then we had 620 40 Mike mike's so that's essentially a grenade bullet it's the side, it looks like it's like the size of a soda can basically 620 of those in the trump so when that ID when the when the bomb went off.

00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:16.920 dan: The implosion went out blue those doors open and my helmet blew off with it so like broke the helmet strapping my helmet flew out also or flu I don't know where he went flu.

00:11:17.520 --> 00:11:25.500 dan: um and then I blacked out, so I don't know how long I was out, it could be a minute minute and a half, who knows nothing over that I don't nothing over that.

00:11:26.010 --> 00:11:39.870 dan: i'd say under a minute probably like 45 seconds Max So when I woke up picture the movies, the the dust falling like you can pick that out of the air hundred percent happen i'm ringing in the ears, but that's everybody knows that happens with any loud noise.

00:11:41.010 --> 00:11:41.220 dan: Like.

00:11:41.430 --> 00:11:43.080 Tommy D: You didn't hear anything you.

00:11:43.380 --> 00:11:49.290 dan: could just be after this I mean for for a good amount, I mean not like 15 1015.

00:11:49.290 --> 00:11:56.370 dan: minutes, but like for that time coming back no I couldn't hear I couldn't I could hear what was happening in here basically.

00:11:57.870 --> 00:12:07.080 dan: Because I was in fight or flight immediately like immediately, so my helmet broke off i'm unconscious came to i'm on fire from the waist down.

00:12:08.280 --> 00:12:11.400 dan: So my door, so my my butt was.

00:12:12.540 --> 00:12:20.220 dan: Out of my driver's side door, basically, and I was, I was kicking my legs in and out to alleviate like one leg had all the fire and then one leg had no fire.

00:12:20.610 --> 00:12:30.330 dan: And it was kind of just popping them back and forth, so it wasn't complete fire on everything um so you're you're trained to there's.

00:12:31.260 --> 00:12:41.070 dan: A cord that connects all of it, you pull that cord, the whole body Armor falls out, and I could have climbed over I wasn't shocked so obviously I wasn't thinking about a court at that time.

00:12:45.330 --> 00:12:48.150 dan: So I couldn't climb over the radio mount and I couldn't get out my door.

00:12:48.540 --> 00:12:50.580 Tommy D: So you're are you must suck at this point.

00:12:50.730 --> 00:13:03.180 dan: i'm stuck on my kids my body Armor to stick to climb out of the passenger side, and then the left side is fire and there's a lake of fire because that's where all the the fuel is to there's a puddle of fuel.

00:13:03.720 --> 00:13:14.040 dan: Where there's one bomb there's usually two so am I going to jump out and jump on to the second one like there's too many is it an ambush because ids are usually initiators for a nasal.

00:13:14.700 --> 00:13:22.650 dan: So am I jumping out and getting shot immediately luckily none of that was the case, so I don't know if there was a second one, it didn't go off at least i'm.

00:13:25.290 --> 00:13:26.670 dan: So lost my train of thought there.

00:13:27.270 --> 00:13:28.410 dan: was a lot I.

00:13:28.800 --> 00:13:29.280 Tommy D: You trying to get.

00:13:29.640 --> 00:13:30.060 dan: Thank you.

00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:40.230 dan: Yes, so I, so I remember talking to my arm some opposite the only one left in the vehicle and I remember talking to my lieutenant.

00:13:42.000 --> 00:13:51.510 dan: He was he was African American but like true like he was from a tribe like he enlisted yeah from Africa right I loved him is such a good person bad leader.

00:13:52.140 --> 00:14:04.170 dan: Bad leader in combat human I loved him love him, I still talk to every now and then he was more weight, so our vehicle our vehicles or 10 this vehicle was the only one that was like this.

00:14:04.380 --> 00:14:10.380 dan: hmm so the Taliban sold, the only African American lieutenant talking to locals.

00:14:10.710 --> 00:14:22.440 dan: And the only multicolored vehicle they put a head out on our truck immediate like you know what I mean it was it's simple it's it's an easy target he's an easy target, unfortunately, so when that so he nicknamed our truck Mother Earth.

00:14:23.970 --> 00:14:31.680 dan: So when the truck was burning he was screaming Mother Earth now he was obviously in shock to i've never really actually taken that into consideration.

00:14:32.040 --> 00:14:39.540 dan: i'm only thinking about i'm on fire, he wasn't on he was standing outside the truck but one of his do just burning alive is vehicles is gone.

00:14:40.380 --> 00:14:51.060 dan: So when that when that idea I forgot this part when the idea initially went off, we have a gunner in the vehicle he's standing up and I want to say, like that much is showing from like the top of the vehicle.

00:14:51.090 --> 00:14:52.800 Tommy D: Right he's he's out like he's.

00:14:53.430 --> 00:14:54.330 dan: Almost waist level.

00:14:54.420 --> 00:14:59.070 dan: yeah most waist level is out yeah I mean you have cover around you but almost waist level.

00:14:59.430 --> 00:15:14.250 dan: But you have a harness that straps indie you under the growing everything that gets you it's it's all points of contact basically and it's but it's only held in by like one D ring so when that 200 pound ID went off that harness just ripped off it didn't hold anything and so.

00:15:14.250 --> 00:15:15.810 Tommy D: Bravo did.

00:15:16.290 --> 00:15:26.490 dan: Land landed right on the hood black down now I don't know if this is a memory, where this is something my brains just done, but I remember our I, I can see, let me say that.

00:15:26.940 --> 00:15:36.210 dan: I can see the fire whispering over the hood and he's blacked out on the hook now whether that's an actual memory or my brains formulated that who knows, but him and I shared the same.

00:15:37.260 --> 00:15:46.500 dan: psychiatrist and psychologist after we got out and the only reason I mentioned, that is because I remember screaming like yo i'm on fire.

00:15:46.530 --> 00:15:48.630 dan: yeah like a grown man.

00:15:48.930 --> 00:15:49.170 Right.

00:15:50.970 --> 00:16:03.090 dan: picture someone burning alive that blood curdling scream that's what it was so bravo and I shared me he told that in therapy, so they they then told me which they don't do, but they they see that can help me that's something that I.

00:16:03.330 --> 00:16:03.930 Tommy D: Think that's.

00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:08.340 Tommy D: Putting on to a lot, and that may may or may not help you process through some of.

00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:09.510 dan: That good yeah yeah.

00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:23.790 dan: yeah yeah so so he so that's actually what woke him up from being unconscious was hearing my blood curdling scream So if I need to process it and i'm going down a bad route, I can I can try and say mean screaming like that could have saved bravo's life.

00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:25.110 Tommy D: wow if.

00:16:25.140 --> 00:16:27.780 dan: You know what I mean like to put it in its place for me.

00:16:27.900 --> 00:16:28.080 Tommy D: well.

00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:29.490 Tommy D: Why not content.

00:16:30.810 --> 00:16:35.910 Tommy D: And if that serves you right, well then, why not have that be the narrative right, I mean.

00:16:36.630 --> 00:16:51.690 Tommy D: Nobody gets hurt from that being the narrative right, I will tell you all this isn't I didn't expect that we'd be going into such detail and i'm appreciative of it man, I really am I truly appreciate your candor and telling me all this and tell my listeners folks checking in.

00:16:51.960 --> 00:17:04.320 Tommy D: Absolutely this story, because those of us who don't serve, and there were even I guess some who have served in have not been in a combat situation just don't know the stories and don't know what actually happens and.

00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:18.360 Tommy D: And you know you're here to tell us about it and, eventually, this is this is going to go to why the organization exists, and even the stories and we should go back to when we go forward now that's funny, so we should go back and go forward, but we should.

00:17:18.810 --> 00:17:19.800 Tommy D: As we continue.

00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:23.760 Tommy D: You know the story about project refit the logo the coloring and stuff like that.

00:17:24.120 --> 00:17:25.080 dan: yeah yeah.

00:17:25.350 --> 00:17:29.190 Tommy D: yeah James got me very kind of amped up about so I want you to do it, as well as.

00:17:29.280 --> 00:17:30.360 dan: i'm glad I wore this shirt.

00:17:30.540 --> 00:17:32.310 dan: I know now they can actually see that I.

00:17:32.310 --> 00:17:35.340 Tommy D: See, I know that I were a mess T shirt everybody let's go back.

00:17:35.580 --> 00:17:36.510 Tommy D: that's the problem.

00:17:36.540 --> 00:17:37.020 dan: very nice.

00:17:37.110 --> 00:17:37.380 yeah.

00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:43.650 Tommy D: let's do this let's let's take a quick break we come back, I want you to continue to story, I will tell you.

00:17:44.370 --> 00:17:53.880 Tommy D: Dan and I had a meeting before the meeting, right here and that blood curdling scream and things that he probably there's probably some foul language when he screamed out that blood curdling scream but we just.

00:17:54.570 --> 00:18:03.990 Tommy D: We joked about that we have such a varied audience that plug into this show, so he he toned it down as as a gentleman for me and that's that and for all YouTube so.

00:18:04.260 --> 00:18:11.250 Tommy D: So thank you for doing that Dan, thank you for being here, we are going to go to a quick break 90 seconds on the clock when we get back we'll continue that story.

00:18:11.490 --> 00:18:18.360 Tommy D: and eventually get into the evolution of what what form project refit this is philanthropy focus on time ED then learn words here we'll be right back.

00:18:21.930 --> 00:18:30.120 Are you a business owner, do you want to be a business owner, do you work with business owners hi i'm Stephen fry your small and medium sized business or SMB guy.

00:18:30.540 --> 00:18:47.190 And i'm the host of the new show always Friday, while I love to have fun on my show we take those Friday feelings of freedom and clarity to discuss popular topics in the minds of SMEs, today, please join me and my very special guests on Friday at 11am on talk radio dot nyc.

00:18:50.100 --> 00:18:56.100 i'm you a conscious co Creator, are you on a quest to raise your vibration, in your consciousness.

00:18:56.610 --> 00:19:06.420 i'm Sam leibowitz your conscious consultants and on my show the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we will touch upon all these topics and more.

00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:19.950 Listen live at our new time on Thursdays at 12 noon Eastern time that's the conscious consultant our awakening humanity Thursdays 12 noon on talk radio dot nyc.

00:19:25.770 --> 00:19:39.030 Are you on edge hey we live in challenging at times so let's lean in i'm standard parchment the host of the edge of every day which airs each Monday at 7pm Eastern time on talk radio dot nyc.

00:19:39.450 --> 00:19:53.820 tune in live with me and my friends and colleagues as we share stories of perspectives about pushing boundaries and exploring our rough edges that's the end of every day on Mondays at 7pm Eastern time on top radio dot nyc.

00:19:57.540 --> 00:20:02.250 you're listening to talk radio nyc uplift educate empower.

00:20:17.040 --> 00:20:17.340 Not.

00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:29.550 Tommy D: what's right join me in the attic.

00:20:29.910 --> 00:20:36.810 Tommy D: Any day today i'm actually traveling right now, but most of the time i'm at the top of my house just blow the roof two flights.

00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:47.580 Tommy D: away from the kitchen in my attic but i'm not today, so you know i'm traveling in an undisclosed location in the northeast of the United States, I keep saying that and then I end up telling everybody, where I am anyway, Dan so.

00:20:48.210 --> 00:20:48.600 Listen.

00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:57.630 Tommy D: i'm so psyched here i'm going to share the website is project project

00:20:58.230 --> 00:21:03.450 Tommy D: Dan was telling us in one bar is telling us, one of the co founders of the organization is telling us his story.

00:21:03.840 --> 00:21:12.900 Tommy D: I just want to read right quick off the website, the mission I had it pulled up on working on one monitor not in the attic it slows me down a bit.

00:21:13.290 --> 00:21:22.410 Tommy D: But project refits mission is to combat isolation, we plan to accomplish this by building the Community of the future, both on and offline.

00:21:22.770 --> 00:21:33.690 Tommy D: We serve military veterans we serve the military veterans and first responders then let's go back to continue that story as much or as little as you want to so we know what's going on yeah.

00:21:34.260 --> 00:21:44.550 Tommy D: I mean you get a picture for us, and I want to actually have you get to a point where you tell us when you came back and what was it, what was the catalyst That said, you know we need.

00:21:45.690 --> 00:21:46.800 Tommy D: To take it away yep.

00:21:47.460 --> 00:21:59.310 dan: yeah so I mean like I said it was on fire from the waist down all that stuff was happening at some point, one of the guys was screaming take your kid off take your kid off and then I guess it clicked and I took it off.

00:22:00.600 --> 00:22:11.310 dan: As I jumped out of the of the vehicle bravo had come to and he jumped on top, and so I didn't have body Armor I didn't have a gun I didn't have a helmet I was like this, but in Afghanistan, in the middle of.

00:22:12.180 --> 00:22:23.640 dan: combat um so bravo had is m nine I don't remember what his gear was, I think he had stuff on but I don't I don't want to say so, we have not a new scan of the top of the body to see if.

00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:29.310 dan: it's about it's about like a 4040 feet up probably you know I mean.

00:22:29.790 --> 00:22:30.240 Tommy D: From the.

00:22:31.050 --> 00:22:33.150 dan: you're down in this so yeah we're in.

00:22:33.180 --> 00:22:38.640 dan: we're down we're down in a depression basically i'm in a valley very small village.

00:22:38.940 --> 00:22:39.570 um.

00:22:41.490 --> 00:22:56.160 dan: So yeah so I run I run into the lead vehicle they were about 75 meters ahead of me still smoking and stuff and I had I was engaged at that time, so I had a I had my cell phone on me, because I would have to get bored looking pictures listening to whatever the whatever it is.

00:22:57.390 --> 00:23:05.610 dan: And we had to airports girls that have got attached to us for that mission, for whatever reason, and i'm like I had just thrown up on still smoking and i'm.

00:23:06.090 --> 00:23:12.240 dan: freaking cursing freaking out about my phone where's my phone and this girl sitting there like what's happening.

00:23:12.840 --> 00:23:23.580 dan: So I found my phone I was good got men got sent back to base, something I didn't know what you have to call home get hurt, you have to call your next of kin so my next weekend with my mom and she works at a school.

00:23:25.050 --> 00:23:36.990 dan: And I went to that school my whole life as they know me they know me I would come home every time on leave go speak at the school for the kids um so I called the school and I got I got Mrs clayton and said hey it's a plane it's that Stan.

00:23:38.940 --> 00:23:42.150 dan: Now I only talk to my mom over Skype or facetime video was never a phone call.

00:23:42.360 --> 00:23:42.690 Tommy D: Right.

00:23:42.720 --> 00:23:51.660 dan: So, like that's that's a red flag yeah so my mom so I have one, I have another brother, so the lady said hey your son's on the phone my mom said which one, and she said Danny so she knew.

00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:54.000 dan: So I said hey mom.

00:23:55.650 --> 00:24:10.080 dan: I got blown up i'm good I got I have all my legs i'm not i'm not missing anything but I got blown up so you know all and then I got blown up a second i'm same thing, so I got I started nine months in Afghanistan, I came home, we lost my sergeant major there too.

00:24:11.730 --> 00:24:14.760 dan: Bad firefight um so I.

00:24:16.230 --> 00:24:24.150 dan: Afghanistan came home for four months that unit my this unit, the unit, I was in Afghanistan with was made specifically for.

00:24:25.590 --> 00:24:27.060 dan: Afghanistan, so when.

00:24:27.090 --> 00:24:28.620 dan: President Obama new players and.

00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:30.930 Tommy D: Some people just listening in Dan so shout it out.

00:24:30.990 --> 00:24:36.030 dan: i'm sorry so that's it's demon company to five, so I was at a free, one that was the brigade.

00:24:37.410 --> 00:24:39.630 dan: Division i'm sorry it's been so long that I.

00:24:41.490 --> 00:24:42.210 dan: That I purge it.

00:24:42.270 --> 00:24:43.740 Tommy D: Was gonna happen, we knew.

00:24:48.630 --> 00:24:53.340 Tommy D: That was 2525 minutes we made that before we hit that one so it's all good.

00:24:53.340 --> 00:24:54.090 dan: Man that's.

00:24:54.180 --> 00:24:55.260 I think that's a record.

00:24:56.670 --> 00:24:57.330 Tommy D: yeah I was, I was.

00:24:57.930 --> 00:25:01.080 dan: So yeah so I was with demon company to five That was my company.

00:25:02.700 --> 00:25:13.440 dan: So that whole unit was made for Afghanistan, so when President Obama declared the war, Afghanistan was over that unit is it's disbanded so we got everybody gets got sent through the rest of the base just the.

00:25:13.470 --> 00:25:15.060 dan: Dozens of units that are in the base.

00:25:15.450 --> 00:25:22.020 dan: So I got with this one unit and they said hey in four months we're going to Africa do you want to come.

00:25:22.620 --> 00:25:35.820 dan: Back to money absolutely i'm going to come on so we went to Djibouti Africa, now the way it works, not many people know this so so when there was, like the whole invasion and Iraq, and all that stuff they were doing 1518 month deployments back to back to back.

00:25:35.910 --> 00:25:40.260 dan: Right and like yeah it's you you your brain breaks.

00:25:40.290 --> 00:25:44.610 Tommy D: But literally that certainly that meant, and I remember again hearing that as a civilian just.

00:25:44.670 --> 00:25:50.460 Tommy D: Being shocked, so you mean, and then they would just be out there forever that sounds.

00:25:51.690 --> 00:25:58.200 dan: completely out there for like I know Dudes who went out there for 15 months yeah came home for like one or two, and it was out there for another 12 months.

00:25:59.250 --> 00:26:06.660 dan: that's it's that's too much that's too much to high tempo want to bring in my opinion, I mean not even my opinion a lot of scientists agree with.

00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:07.290 dan: That show.

00:26:07.740 --> 00:26:09.750 dan: i'm so i'm.

00:26:10.950 --> 00:26:11.520 dan: squirrel there.

00:26:11.610 --> 00:26:13.080 Tommy D: you're you're going to do boom.

00:26:14.850 --> 00:26:29.340 dan: yeah yeah God so so it's called dwell time so technically legally i'm not allowed to be deployed if I if I deployed to combat so Afghanistan i'm not allowed to be deployed again until i've spent the amount of time home that I spent deploy.

00:26:30.120 --> 00:26:36.120 dan: So i'm deployed for nine months I got to be home for nine months, but I can waive that I can say hey i'm good to go.

00:26:36.180 --> 00:26:36.690 Tommy D: But when I.

00:26:37.320 --> 00:26:50.190 Tommy D: Say that nine months you're away from nine and let's say you, you need or want the full nine home what what goes on at that point, are you are you on leave or you just you know, whatever a civilian who.

00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:51.510 Tommy D: Sir yeah you go.

00:26:51.570 --> 00:26:57.600 dan: So you you go on leave before deployment after deployment, sometimes in the middle, but that's.

00:26:57.600 --> 00:27:09.750 Tommy D: I mean again anything yeah I misspoke I don't mean a civilian Research and Military folks will beat me up on that well what I meant was now your your military you're on leave Does that mean, you have to show up out of base somewhere at.

00:27:09.780 --> 00:27:19.740 dan: Or you literally just if you're on leave no, no, no, no, if you're on leave it you're you're a civilian again, technically, but like at any point that can say screw your leave you're coming you got to come back to base now you know what I mean.

00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:20.640 dan: um.

00:27:20.670 --> 00:27:24.960 dan: But yeah like it like like maybe like I was stationed in Texas I wouldn't have to go to like Fort.

00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.920 Tommy D: dix that's what I.

00:27:26.490 --> 00:27:27.630 Tommy D: Have no, no, no, no.

00:27:27.840 --> 00:27:29.910 Tommy D: Responsibility, day in and day out.

00:27:30.420 --> 00:27:38.670 dan: No, not when you're not when you're on leave no no it's it's truly used for what it's supposed to be used by which is rare in the military um.

00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:53.190 dan: So I waved my default time I went to that second deployment and that's really where I started noticing I wasn't where I was before I went to Afghanistan that's where I noticed I wasn't that happy like I was a very like I was a soft person.

00:27:54.690 --> 00:28:01.530 dan: I knew, could I was a wet noodle you I was, I was just I was a bleeding heart still em in certain aspects, but obviously it's.

00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:07.470 dan: A little callous will say um so yeah my parents were going through a divorce, then and that's really what a.

00:28:08.190 --> 00:28:16.470 dan: Helping my mom now that's really what what kind of set the precedence for where my brain needed to be, I guess, so when I got back from Afghanistan or from Africa.

00:28:17.010 --> 00:28:25.380 dan: I started going to behavioral health I started doing um well what I had to go to the doctors, so I was leaking I was leaking plus out of my nipples.

00:28:25.980 --> 00:28:35.670 dan: And it was my hormones were so just my because of the brain the concussions and just like how negative the brain was thinking it was changing the chemicals in my brain.

00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:37.890 dan: And it was cutting out right insane.

00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:47.160 dan: So I had to so I went to the doctor and he's like dude it's either breast cancer testicular cancer brain cancer or stress and i'm like dude it's stress I know it's stress.

00:28:47.670 --> 00:28:55.140 dan: Let me just skip it and he said i'm we're going to get all the tests checked out the test no cancer, thank God i'm so I had to go to therapy.

00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:08.430 dan: So one time, I was forced to go, you have to do whatever I have never left therapy since like i'm purposely so I purposely stayed in I know I I thrive in therapy, but with that.

00:29:10.620 --> 00:29:20.190 dan: In the beginning, I was one of those veterans which I think many, if not all of us do this, we have to we feel as if we have to talk to somebody who has experienced something similar or more.

00:29:20.910 --> 00:29:26.550 dan: For them to understand what and that's just I have learned that that's not the case, it helps it helps a lot.

00:29:27.330 --> 00:29:29.130 Tommy D: But it's not it's not necessary.

00:29:29.460 --> 00:29:42.660 dan: it's not a necessity at all um so I started doing my very first therapist Judith were to I mean she got me where i'm at I was with her, for I don't know how long probably a year, maybe yeah a little over a year i'd say and.

00:29:43.530 --> 00:29:52.200 dan: I wouldn't be where i'm at if it wasn't for her, she she knew my personality, especially in that place, I was that I needed that foot in the butt kind of stuff like your do this now.

00:29:53.280 --> 00:30:09.360 dan: I have a chip on my shoulder all that kind of stuff so therapy for whatever reason it wasn't scratching that itch for it wasn't doing what I thought, or what I expected it to do with what I was dealing with um so James reached out to me actually.

00:30:10.230 --> 00:30:11.580 dan: The other Co founder project.

00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:16.830 Tommy D: yeah we're gonna we're gonna go to break in about 30 seconds, how do you two know each other and then we'll set it up and we'll come back.

00:30:16.890 --> 00:30:27.600 dan: yeah so we're actually friends of a friend, when I came back from Afghanistan we I used to party with his best friend's wife now I love his best friend Dan Dan Dan loving so.

00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:37.890 dan: When I came on leave for Afghanistan, James just popped up to the bar yo what's up, I was very drunk so I didn't remember that, and he added me on Facebook and that was that was initially how we met.

00:30:38.070 --> 00:30:38.370 yeah.

00:30:39.660 --> 00:30:42.750 Tommy D: So he comes to you one day with wow what's this idea he's got.

00:30:43.140 --> 00:30:51.120 dan: So he's he saw that I posted on Facebook and I said i'm basically i'm not like this is, to my people that i'm coming coming to my friends i'm not Dan.

00:30:51.960 --> 00:31:02.610 dan: i'm not the Daniel new like i'm I get irritable really fast I don't want to leave my house i'm depressed that like I started mapping out how i've changed for them so it's not a surprise.

00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:07.950 dan: And he saw that as a as a leader as a sign of leadership, so he hit me up and he.

00:31:08.340 --> 00:31:21.960 dan: He asked what the army does to prevent ptsd and suicide, and if the ptsd is diagnosed or suicidal attempts occur, how do they combat it, and I was in the middle of being medically discharged from the army, so is they don't they don't that's what they do.

00:31:22.470 --> 00:31:24.150 Tommy D: You mean, so let me just.

00:31:24.180 --> 00:31:27.120 Tommy D: see if I can clarify yeah curiosity for those listening.

00:31:27.870 --> 00:31:39.690 Tommy D: you're discharged medically you as a person, but generally the person is discharged and then there's no what I would call after care that that it sort of ends right there.

00:31:40.320 --> 00:31:46.170 dan: No, no, so that's where it that's where it gets a little fuzzy you if you haven't be a percentage yeah.

00:31:47.010 --> 00:31:52.770 dan: Okay yeah they have to care it's now i'll defer some like my Philadelphia va I have not had issues that.

00:31:53.070 --> 00:32:00.360 dan: Okay i've had one like that could have gone a little better than I would have thought it was going to go like one person gave a little bit of attitude.

00:32:00.360 --> 00:32:02.550 dan: But as far as like the reason that are like veterans are.

00:32:02.550 --> 00:32:14.460 dan: Killing themselves in stairwells or va parking lots i've never had anything like that happened at at mine um but that's if you're if you have a percentage that's if you if you have documentation that this injury exists, you know what I mean.

00:32:14.520 --> 00:32:18.570 Tommy D: That spelled out what does that what does that mean a percentage and then we'll go to break.

00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:24.900 dan: So, so if the if the military agrees that they caused an injury to you.

00:32:25.320 --> 00:32:33.000 dan: They pay for that injury your they will either try and remedy it so like my feet I wasn't flat footed before them or my ptsd, for that matter, but my feet, are a tangible one.

00:32:33.510 --> 00:32:46.410 dan: But I was not flat footed had beautiful arches now, I do not have an orange I did the insults I did their therapy stuff it didn't work so now, they say hey here's 50% your feet will never get better.

00:32:46.590 --> 00:32:49.530 dan: God, this is the amount you get so that all adds.

00:32:49.530 --> 00:32:49.710 Tommy D: up.

00:32:49.740 --> 00:32:51.090 dan: That all seared system.

00:32:51.150 --> 00:33:04.950 Tommy D: So psychologically, you know or mental health or neuro neurological issues that is treated similarly yeah so we're gonna go to break, but what else thanks James comes to you he's asking he's inquiring he's a friend of a friend.

00:33:05.310 --> 00:33:15.660 Tommy D: And somewhere out of that you're going to tell me when we come back yep from this idea for project refit, this is one of the pain focus it's Tommy did then lumbar to your co founder of project refit we'll be right back.

00:33:19.980 --> 00:33:27.180 host of a new podcast gateway to the smokies it airs on talk radio dot nyc every Tuesday night from the end of.

00:33:27.990 --> 00:33:30.960 Every episode is dedicated to memorable experiences.

00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:45.510 In the great smoky mountain national park and surrounding areas this show featured experts and look with me expound upon the richness of culture, history and and venture That completes you in the smoking gun in every Tuesday from 6pm to seven on talk radio dot nyc.

00:33:48.000 --> 00:34:02.040 And you're passionate about the conversation around racism hi i'm Reverend Dr tlc most of the dismantle racism show which airs every Thursday at 11am Eastern on talk radio dot nyc.

00:34:02.490 --> 00:34:14.610 join me and my amazing guests, as we discussed ways to uncover this mantle and eradicate racism that's Thursdays at 11 o'clock 8am on top radio dot nyc.

00:34:18.750 --> 00:34:29.970 Are you a small business trying to navigate the coven 19 related employment laws Hello i'm Eric savoured employment law business law attorney and host of the new radio show employment law today.

00:34:30.600 --> 00:34:43.290 On my show will have guests, to discuss the common employment law challenges business owners are facing during these trying times tune in on Tuesday evenings from 5pm to 6pm Eastern time on talk radio dot nyc.

00:34:48.090 --> 00:34:56.910 you're listening to talk radio nyc at www talk radio dot nyc now broadcasting 24 hours a day.

00:35:15.990 --> 00:35:23.130 Tommy D: And we are back this is what's being focused in veterans recognition it's veterans nonprofit recognition.

00:35:23.490 --> 00:35:33.930 Tommy D: month because I say this, all the time, if it wasn't for the organizations and nonprofits that get out there and do the work to serve our veterans and to serve their own communities, when it comes to.

00:35:34.860 --> 00:35:37.170 Tommy D: Your mental health issues amongst civilians or.

00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:47.730 Tommy D: food insecurity or any of the the the hundreds of thousands of services and nonprofits provide for our communities who the hell is going to provide these services Where do they come from they're not in.

00:35:48.180 --> 00:35:55.920 Tommy D: This place is not set up where where everybody gets what they need, so it takes organizations to make sure that they do and it's the nonprofit sector that does that.

00:35:56.310 --> 00:36:03.030 Tommy D: And if there's a first time ever hearing me well, let me tell you i'm incredibly passionate about this sector i'm incredibly passionate about the work.

00:36:03.420 --> 00:36:12.990 Tommy D: That gets done and in the next 50 years that I have on this planet and that's my projection my whole job is to just shine a light on what these orbs are doing help them get the funding they need help them.

00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:15.870 Tommy D: help them get the connections, they need and that's why.

00:36:16.710 --> 00:36:27.420 Tommy D: always been a connector and one day it hit me wow the nonprofit sector connector that rhymes i'm going to totally say that that's my name and that's what it is and that comes with a lot of responsibility.

00:36:27.750 --> 00:36:38.370 Tommy D: And it comes with conversations like we're having today Dan Lombard co founder of project refit was just a lead us through an incredible story, and if if I.

00:36:39.030 --> 00:36:45.480 Tommy D: Somehow did not say it yet Dan Thank you obviously for your service for what you've done for us for what you've done put yourself out there.

00:36:45.690 --> 00:36:56.010 Tommy D: And for all the men and women who have done just the same and are there to to protect our liberties liberties and really to to go around this planet and do just that so.

00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:08.640 Tommy D: let's get into you now, are you meet this guy James Corbett you've posted something really a very candid conversation on Facebook, to explain.

00:37:09.750 --> 00:37:18.750 Tommy D: gang you knew Dan back then, this is a different than I evolved I changed, you know I want you to understand is i'm.

00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:28.710 Tommy D: kind of clarify not clarifying summarizing a bit of what you said, I want you all to understand that, based on what i've been through i'm a different human being and and I think that's such a.

00:37:29.250 --> 00:37:42.120 Tommy D: Point in conversation Dan and what a way to understand other veterans or people who have gone through some other type of trauma we all are not always the same, you know, and I was, I was talking to a couple guys I had on the show.

00:37:43.230 --> 00:37:56.610 Tommy D: Last week, and or two weeks ago, and my buddy Louis falco he goes you don't tell me trauma is trauma he goes military traumas one thing, and these guys are two the two guys are on the show frank and Louis Vietnam veterans and.

00:37:58.020 --> 00:38:09.030 Tommy D: You know trauma is trauma people, we have to have compassion for each other, we have to have love for each other, we have to be sensitive to other people and i'll tell you something you said then, you know.

00:38:10.200 --> 00:38:22.020 Tommy D: i'm speaking to a coach or a therapist right now, and I said, you know i'm very sensitive and she goes well Tommy you know the opposite of sensitive is insensitive who wants to be insensitive and I go, you know right.

00:38:22.350 --> 00:38:22.770 dan: Right.

00:38:23.220 --> 00:38:29.760 Tommy D: right on man, I said, you know, not that I was beat myself up, but you know you called yourself a wet noodle or something like that or soft.

00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:30.120 dan: me.

00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:39.810 Tommy D: And as as men, you know there's certainly one way that you know we're maybe trained in certain parts of society to think as a tough guy and whatnot and not be as mushy but.

00:38:40.140 --> 00:38:55.470 Tommy D: You know, raising two sons and two daughters, right now, where i'm at in this life, I mean I tried to be mindful of not saying you know don't do that or don't do that, although I catch myself on my older son cries about nonsense I tend to try to get him a hard time about and I got it.

00:38:56.730 --> 00:39:06.720 Tommy D: I got to work through that but you know if that story that you posted on Facebook that that sort of drew this connection with with James and what turns into project refit right.

00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:09.720 dan: yeah yeah, so I am.

00:39:11.250 --> 00:39:23.250 dan: therapy, I like I said it wasn't scratching that itch so I looked online for combat veteran support groups it's really, really just narrowed it down to that simple, and there are none none.

00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:32.910 dan: None, I found one, and it was i'm not going to name them because it's a beautiful organization, but where I was especially in the beginning, when I said.

00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:44.100 dan: I felt like I needed to talk to somebody who had been through what I did I got so what I the the place, I found was all typing it wasn't that see I need this, I need to see that you are listening to me that.

00:39:44.100 --> 00:39:58.980 dan: you're aware about this conversation it hurts to talk about I don't want to talk about it, somebody who who isn't listening, you know what I mean um so it was just typing it was just typing and I got paired with a guy who was in the navy in the 80s so like God bless you.

00:39:59.280 --> 00:40:00.000 dan: God bless you.

00:40:00.630 --> 00:40:08.730 dan: What you can't right now, you can I would love to talk to him now I would love to pick his brain now, but then he couldn't help me so James reached out, we started talking and.

00:40:10.290 --> 00:40:21.480 dan: It was it was typing typing on Facebook and I was like dude Can we just like kill the whole typing thing and just do a video call and he's like yeah obviously um so we did a video call for four hours, and it was everything I need to say in therapy.

00:40:21.870 --> 00:40:23.490 Tommy D: It was you talking.

00:40:23.520 --> 00:40:29.490 dan: Myself and James yes so so that expectation, I had set in the beginning was was irrelevant at that point.

00:40:29.550 --> 00:40:31.710 Tommy D: What do you mean by that because he's not a veteran.

00:40:32.370 --> 00:40:42.420 dan: He had not experienced anything that I experienced anything even even remotely close to it, even on a civilian it as far as we knew then you know what I mean um.

00:40:43.140 --> 00:40:55.590 dan: So, but it was simply somebody caring and listening and not interjecting not interrupting not saying hey i've been through this too, or any of those like he was listening was critically listening listening for the true aspect of it.

00:40:56.070 --> 00:41:02.460 dan: And right when I mean when I was essentially done venting for four hours we both were like ha.

00:41:04.560 --> 00:41:10.950 dan: I think this is really what a peer to peer support its peer to peer there's something about clinical health.

00:41:12.300 --> 00:41:18.210 dan: That veterans stay away from and don't want to go, not even, but a lot of people I feel like people feel like therapy is that.

00:41:18.570 --> 00:41:27.630 dan: That therapist is sitting with his folder and he's writing and you're just and that's just really not what it is a lot anymore like that that that method is gone.

00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:38.820 dan: it's it's a lot of this what we're doing right here just normal conversations and then picking stuff apart in those other in the conversation little little things that you have to you might need to work on.

00:41:39.570 --> 00:41:46.770 dan: So James and I started started talking about it, and I would have a couple of my Dudes because we I lived in the barracks so it's like a big apartment building, you know what I mean.

00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:56.280 dan: So I would have to have the Dudes they'd come through they were throwing they were throwing ideas we were throwing ideas we got the name down so project refit so when you go out on mission.

00:41:56.760 --> 00:42:03.990 dan: When you come back you refit your vehicle you refit yourself, you get new ammo new food, whatever the case is you refit.

00:42:04.710 --> 00:42:13.770 dan: there's no refitting when you get out of the military there's none, nobody does it you get the five day workshop that they give you a rate before you get out and then it's say yeah you're welcome for your resume.

00:42:13.980 --> 00:42:15.420 Tommy D: Go find a job go.

00:42:15.450 --> 00:42:21.450 dan: Go find a job have fun have fun not having the camaraderie with a brotherhood or sisterhood or whatever, would you found.

00:42:22.140 --> 00:42:35.520 dan: have fun not having that anymore, where we we project refit we realized like you said, our car our mission state combat isolation, I firmly believe that the majority of people kill themselves because they're alone.

00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:36.660 Tommy D: Because they're isolated.

00:42:37.110 --> 00:42:40.500 dan: it's the issues, because there is it's the issues that are adding to it.

00:42:40.800 --> 00:42:48.720 dan: But if if you have issues and we sit here and talk those issues aren't as as powerful they don't they don't hold as much weight.

00:42:49.830 --> 00:42:56.040 Tommy D: In that example I now have a connection with you, I have somebody I mean i've even heard it i'm sure it's different, but you know.

00:42:56.550 --> 00:43:01.020 Tommy D: i've heard this from some of the organizations that bring that bring animals into the lives of these veterans.

00:43:01.320 --> 00:43:06.990 Tommy D: And they have now they have a commitment to that animal they have a responsibility to that animal and and you know.

00:43:07.380 --> 00:43:16.500 Tommy D: Maybe that has has stopped folks from from ultimately taking their own lives, you know because there's some there's a connection, why is it God damn difficult.

00:43:16.800 --> 00:43:22.110 Tommy D: That this is ridiculous like this, what are we talking about here, Dan we're talking about connection to human being.

00:43:22.470 --> 00:43:28.560 Tommy D: You know I joked about wearing a T shirt I get my buddy Mike Collins, who is a veteran, thank you for your service making I know he's listening right now.

00:43:28.950 --> 00:43:33.510 Tommy D: And he's a Yankee fan that's why I mentioned him with meds, but I just you know.

00:43:33.750 --> 00:43:43.650 Tommy D: This is what we're supposed to be doing, but we get tribal we get disconnected we have different factions and i'd like them that, and you like the Yankees is cute and it's good ribbing and giving each other, our time.

00:43:44.340 --> 00:43:52.230 Tommy D: But the whole bottom line of this thing is we're here to connect we're social beings, I think you throw in what's going on.

00:43:52.380 --> 00:43:57.240 dan: I think that's the purpose of like when people are what's what's the purpose of humanity it's that it's.

00:43:59.010 --> 00:43:59.340 dan: Like.

00:43:59.670 --> 00:44:07.230 dan: we're we're an organism on a rock in a year Come on, and none of nothing matters nothing matters really but connection and keeping people.

00:44:07.740 --> 00:44:21.870 dan: Not miserable if you look the way I see it, even if it's a stranger if I can help somebody if I see somebody struggling for a second here's $1 whatever I was at home depot was an older dude he needed help putting shit and putting something in his in his trunk.

00:44:23.640 --> 00:44:24.540 dan: Something that small.

00:44:25.680 --> 00:44:33.840 Tommy D: Good I remember a time where and we're totally missing all our breaks today and dylan sorry brother love you but that's the way it's going to beat it but look.

00:44:34.920 --> 00:44:44.700 Tommy D: here's the thing I remember being like in my 20s and I was you know I used to drink I don't drink anymore and most people who listen to know that it's 12 years there will be 12 years.

00:44:44.820 --> 00:44:46.500 dan: fit for you, thank you.

00:44:46.740 --> 00:44:55.890 Tommy D: Thank you and i'll tell you I was riding the train going in Manhattan I was going to college in New York City at the time, and I was just low, for whatever reason, but pretty pretty low and.

00:44:56.610 --> 00:45:04.620 Tommy D: I caught eye contact with this girl she she couldn't have been six years old this child and she smiled at me man i'm getting.

00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:05.160 dan: done.

00:45:05.340 --> 00:45:05.970 dan: He changed.

00:45:06.630 --> 00:45:20.730 Tommy D: He changed the trajectory of that day, and probably that week and and i'm telling you I was low i'll just leave it there all right, and then I wasn't anymore and and that's the power we have.

00:45:21.030 --> 00:45:24.090 dan: For now, imagine if everybody went out that mentality.

00:45:24.240 --> 00:45:34.800 dan: Everybody went out with mentality, like, I mean look, this is me right now, obviously I have my bad days obviously i'm not in this kind of place 24 seven but it's this should be a staple of.

00:45:35.820 --> 00:45:36.450 dan: humans.

00:45:36.510 --> 00:45:37.680 dan: yeah i'll i'll.

00:45:39.180 --> 00:45:39.480 Tommy D: Get.

00:45:40.950 --> 00:45:51.660 dan: i'll jump into the so so with project refunds, so the reason I mentioned all of that, because it's something, you said that your friend said also trauma is trauma pain is pain.

00:45:53.130 --> 00:45:54.570 dan: does not cause.

00:45:56.520 --> 00:46:00.030 dan: make it easier and talk about if you have a similar cause yes obvious.

00:46:01.230 --> 00:46:02.010 Tommy D: Right, we got that.

00:46:02.220 --> 00:46:06.240 dan: Exactly exactly, but if, but if you've had some messed up stuff happened to you.

00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:09.840 dan: Know obviously you haven't been shot at like I have you haven't.

00:46:11.820 --> 00:46:21.090 dan: It represents a level of pain take the calls or when there's this much pain now your life dude you could at your dog could have died, and it could have called you this much pain, but i'm here.

00:46:21.870 --> 00:46:36.330 dan: it's it's all subjective every every single conversation and situation is a variable to and nothing is ever the same that's why I hate when people compare pain, it makes no sense, you have no idea how might be how it goes yeah um.

00:46:37.080 --> 00:46:44.520 dan: So, once we really started breaking that down it's we we we want to break the civilian veteran divide.

00:46:44.820 --> 00:46:46.980 dan: And that is what this conversation we're.

00:46:46.980 --> 00:46:47.430 Tommy D: Having.

00:46:47.460 --> 00:46:48.510 dan: is a way to do it.

00:46:48.690 --> 00:46:56.340 dan: On your pain is the same level of pain, I feel, just because i'm a different reason, when we let go over the reasons you're in pain i'm in pain, how do we stop this.

00:46:56.340 --> 00:46:59.400 Tommy D: pain, it goes to it goes to the point of we're going to break in a second now what.

00:46:59.430 --> 00:46:59.940 dan: It goes to the.

00:46:59.970 --> 00:47:12.870 Tommy D: Point where like I just said, even that divide when I don't know if I should say thank you for your service, because I don't know if that's going to offend the veterans like that's a disconnect right and and I don't get the future there will you we're not going to solve.

00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:13.980 dan: I got I got you I got.

00:47:14.580 --> 00:47:19.200 Tommy D: we're gonna have to bring you back on the show, I want to do i'm going to come out we're going to do a live thing we do a whole thing with that.

00:47:19.530 --> 00:47:28.320 Tommy D: With the only talk about the mobile base a whole deal so here's what we got we got probably about eight minutes when we come back from this break I want you to fire off programs, I want you to fire off what.

00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:28.680 Tommy D: You.

00:47:28.800 --> 00:47:38.760 Tommy D: want to fire off what's upcoming events and things like that right, where obviously you know one, at a time before the two of us run out of words that's sort of the theme of this show this is going to be in focus where.

00:47:39.360 --> 00:47:40.410 dan: You know it's a good part.

00:47:40.500 --> 00:47:47.220 Tommy D: Of course bro it's a great show I love it that's why I want to do this, five, six days a week, all right we'll be right back take a break doing come back to me and then.

00:47:51.300 --> 00:47:51.900 Everybody.

00:47:51.930 --> 00:47:59.670 is coming again and nonprofit sector can actually coming at you from my adding each week here on talk radio dot nyc I hosted program for.

00:48:00.930 --> 00:48:14.670 nonprofits in Caucus each and every day and it's my pockets that helps amplify their message tell their story listen each week at 10am Eastern standard time until 11am Eastern standard time right here on talk radio dot nyc.

00:48:18.300 --> 00:48:21.030 You may have many unanswered questions regarding your health.

00:48:21.450 --> 00:48:27.420 Are you looking to live a healthier lifestyle, do you have a desire to learn more about mental health and enhance your quality of life.

00:48:27.750 --> 00:48:36.990 Or do you just want to participate in self understanding and awareness i'm frank are Harrison host of frank about health any Thursday I will tackle these questions and work to enlighten you.

00:48:37.380 --> 00:48:43.590 tune in every driven by PM on talk radio dot nyc and I will be thinking about how to advocate for all of us.

00:48:50.040 --> 00:48:51.600 Knowing all got lovers.

00:48:52.800 --> 00:49:07.770 avengers assemble on the professionals and animal lovers show we believe the bond between animal lovers is incredibly strong it mirrors that bond between pets and their owners, through this program we come together to learn educate and advocate.

00:49:08.430 --> 00:49:13.500 Join us live every Wednesday at 2pm and talk radio dot nyc.

00:49:16.950 --> 00:49:24.030 you're listening to talk radio nyc at www talk radio dot nyc now broadcasting.

00:49:24.180 --> 00:49:25.260 24 hours.

00:49:32.040 --> 00:49:32.340 Now.

00:49:43.560 --> 00:49:43.920 Tommy D: back.

00:49:44.370 --> 00:49:44.970 This is.

00:49:45.450 --> 00:49:49.320 Tommy D: The lightning round if you don't know this, but I was wanting to be a game show host, so this is sort of like.

00:49:49.380 --> 00:49:49.680 My.

00:49:53.340 --> 00:50:02.250 Tommy D: Body check ins the mobile base connect and then what's upcoming I know this golf outings and car shows tell me about it man let's let's work it out.

00:50:02.280 --> 00:50:12.060 dan: Mobile based on for anybody listening, if you want to get you go on project if you look at the top there's approaches, you can click mobile based, and you can see what it looks like so we have a.

00:50:15.870 --> 00:50:24.420 dan: Sorry, we have a truck enema will based on mobile versus 24 feet long we just got to wrap we have a nice truck with it to the arm to 2500 Ram beautiful.

00:50:25.080 --> 00:50:33.630 dan: So the whole thing behind this is, we have the radio checks like we've talked about the isolation is a very big piece in veterans so this mobile base.

00:50:34.920 --> 00:50:46.980 dan: If you want to isolate at home will bring this base to you, we will come to your House and have the conversations, instead of you coming to us, we want to take this to concerts anywhere, where you perfect yes yeah.

00:50:47.160 --> 00:50:48.990 dan: i'm sharing anywhere where i'm.

00:50:49.890 --> 00:50:56.940 dan: Where are where veterans or first responders or their family members are at um we have a senior citizen home so.

00:50:57.570 --> 00:51:08.220 dan: I want to go to senior citizens rooms, I want to talk to Vietnam vets World War Two vets Korean Korean War vets they're sitting that's the we just came back from Colorado we flew 1012 beth beth tell.

00:51:08.280 --> 00:51:08.850 Tommy D: me about that.

00:51:09.300 --> 00:51:10.260 Tommy D: One of the talk about it.

00:51:10.290 --> 00:51:11.760 dan: And I don't want us to get so that.

00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:11.970 Tommy D: Was.

00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:18.510 dan: Talking about was insane dude that was insane so like I said we flew half a dozen people out.

00:51:19.350 --> 00:51:26.520 dan: There was a six day camping on a on a on a ranch we literally camp, there was tense to the right of the to the right of that picture you just saw arm.

00:51:26.970 --> 00:51:34.290 dan: And we had events during the day 8am and then 6pm fly fishing MMA training horseback riding those kinds of things.

00:51:35.010 --> 00:51:45.510 dan: But the only thing we required was that at eight o'clock at night, we had a fireside chat we had a bonfire with a bunch of seats around it and that's where we had those talks, the deep conversations.

00:51:45.930 --> 00:51:53.550 dan: With peers, who are not judging you who who may have experienced it before but who also may have been hearing this type of stuff for the first time.

00:51:54.210 --> 00:51:57.330 dan: and your your dude you really you get the other people's pain.

00:51:57.900 --> 00:52:09.090 dan: you hear the way the just the inflections in their voice they're they're holding back a cry really with those types of things matter in these conversations it just It makes you so much more invested, we had a couple Dudes come out.

00:52:09.420 --> 00:52:24.750 dan: Who they weren't in the best of places when they got there they did they came for that reason, and the first night that they shared during that fire, the next day dude color in their face they were asking yo do you need help with this it's so so.

00:52:25.770 --> 00:52:32.190 dan: James on last year and we talked about the mobile base and all these things we wanted to do and wanted to achieve its we're there now.

00:52:32.370 --> 00:52:39.900 dan: You got the mobile base, we took it to a retreat we got veterans to come out and attempt to do what we think.

00:52:41.370 --> 00:52:43.440 dan: that's this point and manages it.

00:52:44.550 --> 00:52:45.510 dan: bare minimum.

00:52:46.830 --> 00:52:50.940 dan: That that worked who so good game, it gives gives me goosebumps right now.

00:52:51.420 --> 00:52:52.440 Tommy D: immediate response.

00:52:52.530 --> 00:53:04.260 Tommy D: i'm i'm totally digging it just listening to it and and having like you know just been kind of somebody watching you know the social media posts and whatnot that James throws out there and things like that, and you know.

00:53:06.450 --> 00:53:10.770 Tommy D: This is, I wanted to go to the place where we check ins and stuff i'm still on the website so.

00:53:10.770 --> 00:53:12.090 dan: yeah yeah.

00:53:12.210 --> 00:53:15.810 Tommy D: So this is kind of lay off this is like the body calls radio you guys tell.

00:53:15.900 --> 00:53:24.810 dan: me so every Monday and Friday every Monday and Friday 9pm Eastern until about midnight, obviously, if it's a good conversation we're not cutting it off at midnight Rom.

00:53:25.320 --> 00:53:39.240 dan: it's it's usually topic, it is topic based so we'll go in with a topic and that's just to keep the conversation not going crazy, you know what I mean not branching off too far on the Monday, one is Wednesday doesn't exist anymore just for anybody and seeing that.

00:53:39.450 --> 00:53:41.610 Tommy D: yeah right there, the one day they wanted to say, Monday Friday.

00:53:41.670 --> 00:53:46.860 dan: Monday Monday is live stream to Facebook and and the Friday is the private one So you see so you'll see.

00:53:47.220 --> 00:54:02.400 dan: So i'll talk about like my suicide attempt on the Monday one every now and then i'll talk i'll talk about my stuff because I can you know I mean it's not as difficult for me anymore and that's so other people who have been through that similar spot on they see that one.

00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:12.810 dan: Other people to the students on a live stream talking about it so it's not as taboo as as society makes it and three you still here.

00:54:13.140 --> 00:54:13.890 dan: So obviously you.

00:54:14.970 --> 00:54:15.360 Tommy D: know he.

00:54:15.480 --> 00:54:29.700 Tommy D: He was that he was in that much pain and maybe sometimes is but has found a way that he's still here, and I can still be here to write, and I can find ways, but you know that it's not so foreign and use that word taboo and words have so many.

00:54:30.090 --> 00:54:35.310 Tommy D: Words have meanings obviously but words really the way the thing, where we say things and i've learned recently.

00:54:35.730 --> 00:54:52.080 Tommy D: That you know I every at every attempt on i'm about to discuss this subject matter, I do not say commit suicide because there's this that this is not a crime right so talk to me take your this interviews are taking their lives right I that's what I say.

00:54:52.410 --> 00:54:55.260 Tommy D: So talk to me about that before we have to take this out.

00:54:55.290 --> 00:54:59.700 dan: yeah i'm glad you mentioned this, too, because it's not talked about enough, I feel me personally.

00:55:00.300 --> 00:55:12.570 dan: That suicide i'm suicidal, I feel that that word is thrown around far too easy i've had this conversation with my I have goosebumps now i've had this conversation with my therapist it's called fantasy thinking.

00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:23.250 dan: Most veterans do it, I am in an excuse, I am in an excruciating amount of pain nothing I do fixes this pain, what is the only avenue.

00:55:23.580 --> 00:55:24.660 dan: right that.

00:55:24.810 --> 00:55:25.200 Tommy D: makes it.

00:55:25.230 --> 00:55:25.770 Tommy D: So I don't.

00:55:25.920 --> 00:55:28.110 dan: I don't want to die I don't want my life I.

00:55:28.110 --> 00:55:29.130 Tommy D: don't want to die, but.

00:55:29.130 --> 00:55:29.760 Tommy D: What that.

00:55:29.880 --> 00:55:30.270 dan: means.

00:55:30.750 --> 00:55:32.070 Tommy D: I want the pain to go away.

00:55:32.550 --> 00:55:35.820 dan: So that that's what they're thinking that's what I was thinking when I did it.

00:55:36.090 --> 00:55:41.670 dan: But when you can when you can compartmentalize that that it's not my life, I want to end it's the pain.

00:55:41.820 --> 00:55:47.160 dan: yeah well then there's there's there's avenues to get rid of that pain peer to peer support being one of them.

00:55:48.780 --> 00:55:56.430 dan: Like that's that's one of the main ones is period and and I don't want anyone thinking that because we're peer to peer support and we're nonprofit go to a therapist.

00:55:56.850 --> 00:56:11.700 dan: Go to a therapist like project reef it should not be your only therapy, we are, we are a piece of the puzzle we're not we're not the entire thing we've had people stop completely stopped therapy, because they found project refund helps project or if it helps me too.

00:56:11.970 --> 00:56:15.090 dan: yeah but I need to be in individual therapy, you need that structure.

00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:18.030 dan: Project refund isn't, it is not a clinical structure it's a peer to.

00:56:18.030 --> 00:56:19.680 dan: Peer structure, you know what I mean yeah.

00:56:19.710 --> 00:56:20.010 Tommy D: um.

00:56:20.250 --> 00:56:31.230 dan: So yeah I think I think that once you if you if you can in the moment or even before that moment comes because that's really what the trick is is thinking this before the the thought gets too potent.

00:56:32.010 --> 00:56:41.370 dan: That you don't want to die your pain hurts you want your pain to stop and and something i've done and it may not work for everyone, but something i've done is i've made a little.

00:56:42.540 --> 00:56:57.120 dan: contract with myself that as long as one person loves me I can't do it it's not like I can't do it me now that doesn't work for everybody that's that's a guilt thing i'm putting on myself, so I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing or not, but I don't.

00:56:57.390 --> 00:56:57.630 Tommy D: I.

00:56:57.720 --> 00:56:59.550 Tommy D: don't want I don't know if it keeps you here.

00:56:59.670 --> 00:57:05.040 Tommy D: If it keeps you here to the ripe old age of 92 or something like that man, I know we can we all put the structures.

00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:05.190 and

00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:14.580 Tommy D: Out of them, and I will tell you this from one man i've never met you my life until today, I love you my brother, it is what you've done for me today.

00:57:15.210 --> 00:57:17.280 Tommy D: And for the people listening is incredible.

00:57:17.820 --> 00:57:31.320 Tommy D: What you and James are doing down there this organization is incredibly special you're changing lives you're saving lives and you're making a very special impact this is the first time we've connected talking and seeing each other, but I know it will not be the last.

00:57:31.590 --> 00:57:32.580 dan: Let no one on.

00:57:33.180 --> 00:57:41.640 Tommy D: Let me know how my network can be a resource to you can't get into who you need to meet whatnot we'll talk about it later we'll use the Facebook, you know posted on the Facebook.

00:57:42.120 --> 00:57:55.440 Tommy D: Feed later on, if there's certain people you want to know to get more information that website is project project Dan Lombard co founder of this incredibly special organization, I want to be a part of what you're doing kid.

00:57:55.500 --> 00:57:58.650 dan: I want to be held absolutely absolutely and for anybody listening.

00:57:58.680 --> 00:58:05.580 dan: If you want to email me D act project mail any questions.

00:58:06.240 --> 00:58:17.340 dan: You want to you want to get involved, you want to volunteer for an event you're you want to know more about us, you want to donate want to sponsor an event anything anything at all, you can email me if your event, you want to talk, please email me.

00:58:17.880 --> 00:58:19.140 dan: Just ponder.

00:58:19.680 --> 00:58:20.730 dan: yeah the letter J.

00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:29.700 Tommy D: Just project we got to go because we're over time we've know the show let's just go today listen Thank you so much man, I appreciate you all the.

00:58:29.700 --> 00:58:30.750 dan: 49 coins.

00:58:30.930 --> 00:58:31.380 Tommy D: Big okay.

00:58:32.580 --> 00:58:33.090 dan: Thank you ma'am.

download this episode of