An effective way to commit to making changes in 2022
It’s that time of year when many of us make resolutions to change some aspect of our lives that we are unsatisfied with.
Sometimes it means stopping doing something such as drinking alcohol, eating meat, or smoking. Other times it involves starting a new activity such as exercising, dieting, meditating, or journaling.
Whichever it is, most resolutions don’t last much past the middle of January no matter how positive they are.
To share their thoughts and tips on how to make effective changes in 2022, I am joined by not one but two coaches – Kay Newton and Anna Letitia Cook. All three of us are passionate about supporting women to live their best lives regardless of age.
We will be chatting about the difference between resolutions and intentions and how to be more compassionate with ourselves as we work on our goals.
Pat kicks off today’s show wishing everyone a Happy New Year. She talks about some news in the media about women’s health. It’s found that thousands of women have taken a synthetic form of the hormone estrogen between 1940-1971 called DES during their pregnancy. Children exposed have been exposed to risks like breast cancer and early menopause. Men exposed have a higher risk of things like testicular cancer. In other news, she says that although experts dont’ believe menopause relates to weight gain, many people believes that there is. Pat talks about the importance of exercise, a healthy food diet and more for not only women but for everyone in general as well.
Pat talks about the topic for today’s episode, an effective way to make changes this year and introduces her guests for today, coaches Kay Newton and Anna Leticia Cook. Kay is an award winning international speaker. Kay and Pat have also co written a couple of books called The Quick Fix. Anna is an international career development and holistic success coach; Anna also focuses on wellness. When asked if they've set resolutions for this year, Kay says that she has not but has in the past and usually is able to successfully work with them. Like Kay, Anna has made resolutions in the past. When it comes to the new year, Anna says that she searches for positivity and something that energizes her. She doesn’t usually celebrate the new year with gatherings and parties. Kay says that she likes to go for a cold swim in the sea, it gives her a lot of energy and positivity. Pat talks about starting the year slow and still resting and taking her time into the first week of the year. She also explains about how you can decide when it’s a good time for you to start your goals. It never has to be in January when you should start pressuring yourself to change. Everyday is a new day. Kay agrees that intentions is a better word than resolutions.
Pat says that one of her intentions is to not work as hard this year. She values her health and keeping healthy so she doesn’t want to overwork herself. Kay likes the word intentions compared to goals because it’s something that you can put out into the world. Kay also agrees about the importance of health when it comes to intentions or goals for overcoming obstacles in your health. Pat makes a great point that just as you can attract “bad” stuff, for example when someone says “don’t say that I’ll fall because then I will”, you can also attract a lot of good things when you put it out into the world. Anna talks about how she had been having some health problems with her blood. Although she understands what her doctor may say about getting healthy, she says that overcoming some of these obstacles early on is about working on the bases of overall health; sleep, diet, exercise, and your intentions. Kay, Anna and Pat talk about not beating yourself up with your goals for the year and that it’s better to make general goals and intentions rather than very specific kinds. When it’s more specific , it’s easier to criticize yourself when you fall out of track.
Coming back from the final break, Pat talks with Kay and Anna about tips for setting good intentions. Kay’s top tip for setting a good intention is to give yourself space such as getting out into nature. Anna’s top tip about coming into the new year is to enjoy being the person that you are in your life. She says that one should be able to feel free and explore who they are, love who they are and make a few changes along the way. Of course, life is never perfect but it’s important to start from the place of love. Kay explains that you shouldn’t make an intention or resolution just because everyone else is doing it. Anna says that you can set three words that relate to what you feel good about yourself or what you have done in the past. This can help when looking for motivation when you stick them onto your fridge, computer, etc. Pat thanks Kay, Anna (and her cat) for coming on today’s show. Next week, Pat will go further in a conversation about nutrition and health.
00:05:13.260 --> 00:05:27.240 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at multiples and good morning if you're in America good afternoon if you're in the UK, good evening if you're in India and Asia Pacific.
00:05:27.930 --> 00:05:41.370 Pat Duckworth: and Happy New Year were a few days in now happy Epiphany happy three kings we have a one of our guest today is in New York, so it is a special day in Spain today.
00:05:41.910 --> 00:05:55.590 Pat Duckworth: But anyway, how has your new year got going if you're looking at my glasses and thinking i've got a bit cockeyed I sat on my glasses on new year's day, that was a good start, and then I broke the back of one of my teeth.
00:05:58.470 --> 00:06:04.080 Pat Duckworth: And then I caught a cold, so I think i've done my three things for this year i'm all sorted out with that.
00:06:04.350 --> 00:06:17.010 Pat Duckworth: So, today I have not one, but two guests in the studio that will be meeting a little bit later because I wanted to talk about resolutions it's a big thing at this time of year is setting your new year's resolutions.
00:06:17.310 --> 00:06:21.780 Pat Duckworth: Probably by now you've forgotten all about them, but I will make another guest today.
00:06:22.230 --> 00:06:29.850 Pat Duckworth: But we're going to start, as usual, by looking at what's in the media about menopause and i've got three weeks worth of news reports but.
00:06:30.270 --> 00:06:40.050 Pat Duckworth: over the Christmas you tend to get the same staff appearing in all the different papers and the usual celebrity stuff but there were a few things this week that I thought were really important.
00:06:40.620 --> 00:06:51.870 Pat Duckworth: So the first one, and this is a serious one and a few of the journals have picked it up i'll pick this one up from the daily express here in the UK but lots of journals picked it up.
00:06:52.380 --> 00:07:05.040 Pat Duckworth: Cancer synthetic drug taken by fails and linked to cancer are you affected women are calling for an inquiry into a drug taken by thousands of patients This comes as a side effect of the synthetic drug.
00:07:05.580 --> 00:07:18.450 Pat Duckworth: which has been linked to various health complications, including cancer and early menopause according to research generations of women are calling for an investigation into a drug called here we go i'm gonna have to try and.
00:07:20.010 --> 00:07:25.470 Pat Duckworth: So the the shortening is the yes, I could just stick there but it's dive this.
00:07:26.970 --> 00:07:39.600 Pat Duckworth: festival that's the best I can do okay D yes it's estimated that around 10,000 patients took this synthetic drug during their pregnancy reports, the Royal college of obstetrics and gynecology.
00:07:40.020 --> 00:07:51.210 Pat Duckworth: The synthetic estrogen juggle drug was used to prevent miscarriages or to dry up milk, it was prescribed to pregnant women between the 1940s and 1971.
00:07:51.720 --> 00:08:00.840 Pat Duckworth: The risk of cancer is not any precedent for those who took the drug but also for their children and grandchildren that's why we're talking about it because it wasn't just those women.
00:08:01.470 --> 00:08:10.530 Pat Duckworth: The research reports that the children exposed to DS in uterus have a higher risk of developing cancers, such as breast and pancreatic cancer.
00:08:11.010 --> 00:08:22.470 Pat Duckworth: daughters of mothers who took the pill during pregnancy and now referred to as D s daughters cancer isn't the only risk posed for DS DS daughters are several studies suggest.
00:08:23.370 --> 00:08:29.220 Pat Duckworth: They might also struggle with problems like premature birth miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies.
00:08:29.670 --> 00:08:38.070 Pat Duckworth: Men expose the drug in uterus known as the sons have a higher risk of testicular abnormalities and possibly testicular cancer.
00:08:38.490 --> 00:08:50.670 Pat Duckworth: So that's a really important story and it shows how you know these problems aren't just there at the time they carry on, because of the effect that they have on babies in the womb.
00:08:52.440 --> 00:09:02.790 Pat Duckworth: Moving on now I picked up this story from vogue magazine because of a conversation I had with another woman yesterday, who was saying to me that suddenly.
00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:14.820 Pat Duckworth: She hadn't had a period for a year and now she was suddenly getting really heavy periods, and so this article is called your period could change in your 40s here starts manage the shift.
00:09:15.510 --> 00:09:23.400 Pat Duckworth: Just as were programmed to anticipate the first arrival of our periods with a combination of fear and panic i'm not sure we are, we may be.
00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:28.740 Pat Duckworth: So to do we anticipate their disappearance, but the years leading up to mentor paul's.
00:09:29.520 --> 00:09:43.020 Pat Duckworth: Can thanks to continue hormonal shifts poster and so challenges these challenges that many women feel wholly unprepared for in a cruel twist they often mirror what many of us enjoy during our teenage years.
00:09:43.410 --> 00:09:59.760 Pat Duckworth: it's like being in puberty but in your 40s so Santa Monica based Ob gyn shamsa Am I am all messy i'm having trouble with names today you're going through the in balance, where your body is starting to become a synchro.
00:10:01.620 --> 00:10:13.710 Pat Duckworth: should be really a synchronous in terms of where your hormones are being produced what many women start to experience in their 40s is a change in the flow duration and length of their cycles.
00:10:14.130 --> 00:10:22.860 Pat Duckworth: Some may be blood both heavy and that's true you know you might find that you're suddenly getting much more heavy clotting even if you haven't experienced that before.
00:10:23.460 --> 00:10:30.990 Pat Duckworth: and others are very light some last longer others not slow, some have negligible pain factor, while others feel debilitating.
00:10:31.650 --> 00:10:38.580 Pat Duckworth: that there will be a change of some sort is inevitable sister to Java, though some changes should not be shrugged off as typical.
00:10:38.910 --> 00:10:53.460 Pat Duckworth: If cycles, all of a sudden become very painful last longer than seven days become heavy or occur less than every 21 days you should see a health care provider for an examination and possibly lab testing and a pelvic sonogram.
00:10:54.030 --> 00:11:00.240 Pat Duckworth: Heavy bleeding can also be an indicator of something more insidious like fibroids pilots cysts.
00:11:01.260 --> 00:11:02.400 Pat Duckworth: end to end of.
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:12.750 Pat Duckworth: Something meiosis thyroid issues bleeding disorders, or certain cancers, which is why many health practitioners advise women, to use an APP.
00:11:13.140 --> 00:11:18.960 Pat Duckworth: To track their periods and to keep a log of their symptoms if you're not into Apps just keep a note.
00:11:19.500 --> 00:11:27.600 Pat Duckworth: So when you go to see your health care provider, you can say this is what's happening, and this is how frequently is, but my advice to my.
00:11:28.170 --> 00:11:40.500 Pat Duckworth: colleague, who asked me this question most don't ignore it get to see the doctor, because it could just be something simple it might just be your hormones, but there are other things that could be so it's really important to check it out.
00:11:42.030 --> 00:11:49.050 Pat Duckworth: here's an important one from helio moderate physical activity can prevent fractures for middle aged.
00:11:49.380 --> 00:12:02.610 Pat Duckworth: Adults even moderate levels of leisure time physical activity in middle age are associated with lower risk for fractures according to study based published in the journal of bone mineral research.
00:12:03.330 --> 00:12:15.810 Pat Duckworth: In a prospective population based analysis researchers also found that heavy work living alone smoking and no or high alcohol consumption increased the risk for fractures.
00:12:16.200 --> 00:12:25.800 Pat Duckworth: Among middle aged men and women, I thought was interesting there no or heavy alcohol consumption, but apparently heavy work can damage your bones.
00:12:26.220 --> 00:12:34.860 Pat Duckworth: exercise has many benefits, including cardiovascular fitness weight control enhanced sense of well being an improvement of metabolic factors.
00:12:35.250 --> 00:12:48.180 Pat Duckworth: Regular weight bearing a muscle strengthening physical activity and balance training to reduce fall risk of standard recommendations for patients with us to process, so we know that.
00:12:49.290 --> 00:12:54.870 Pat Duckworth: exercise is good for us, we know that bones get more porous as we get older and we know as women.
00:12:55.200 --> 00:13:10.170 Pat Duckworth: That once we stop having as much estrogen as we go through menopause then our bones can get more porous so exercise is really important, you don't want to wait until you're in your late 70s early 80s, you have a full you break a bone.
00:13:11.400 --> 00:13:14.760 Pat Duckworth: Life isn't so good okay Where are we now.
00:13:16.650 --> 00:13:34.590 Pat Duckworth: So that now i've got another article from well and good, which is about menopause weight gain it says, although some experts do not think menopause is associated with weight gain most folks do that's for Mary Jane Lincoln md a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology.
00:13:35.970 --> 00:13:44.310 Pat Duckworth: i'm going to cut down on that, but she does talk in that article about some of the lifestyle factors that can help with weight one is to focus on your sleep.
00:13:44.610 --> 00:13:51.420 Pat Duckworth: it's much harder to maintain a healthy weight if you're not sleeping properly increasing your protein intake.
00:13:52.080 --> 00:13:58.440 Pat Duckworth: Loading up with fruits, vegetables and whole grains to keep you healthy exercising regularly there you are.
00:13:59.160 --> 00:14:03.630 Pat Duckworth: we're back to the exercise can help to lessen unnatural declining muscle mass.
00:14:04.050 --> 00:14:14.310 Pat Duckworth: limit your alcohol sticking to the recommended one drink or less per day, can help minimize extra weight gain alcoholic beverages add excess calories to your diet.
00:14:14.820 --> 00:14:25.290 Pat Duckworth: and increase the risk of gaining weight and it doesn't help with your symptoms, either, that was a very quick run through what's in the media we've lots of tongue twisters.
00:14:26.760 --> 00:14:32.010 Pat Duckworth: So there's some hints there for what we could be doing in this new year period.
00:14:32.520 --> 00:14:46.950 Pat Duckworth: So we're about to go to the break when we come back we'll be talking about resolutions versus intentions so join us after the break to learn more about how you can fit in tensions that will be really helpful for you see you after the break.
00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:07.620 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at medicals where our.
00:17:08.280 --> 00:17:21.750 Pat Duckworth: topic today is resolutions don't get me started, now we came up with that title, because when K and I are talking We often say don't get me started, so we thought we would use that as our tagline for today.
00:17:22.050 --> 00:17:33.660 Pat Duckworth: So joining me in the studio today looking lovely in blue is K Newton K is an award winning international speaker and gracious author she and I have co written.
00:17:34.380 --> 00:17:45.570 Pat Duckworth: Five books together K or was it six yeah I thought we did six called the quick fix we've done a whole quick fix series, if you want to go and have a look at them she's passionate about.
00:17:46.050 --> 00:17:51.030 Pat Duckworth: down to earth space, creating to guide women over 50 to get their mojo back.
00:17:51.600 --> 00:18:00.360 Pat Duckworth: Case transformation training is a step by step, personal plan for those struggling with issues at midlife and it's a time of change and who likes change.
00:18:01.050 --> 00:18:17.310 Pat Duckworth: there's one answer to that babies in dirty nappies designed to make sure that LIFE has its true value holistic humane and imbalance with the world if you're hearing knocking in the background it's not spirits i've got somebody laying flooring I think.
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:22.920 Pat Duckworth: This is the dilemma of radio, really, this is what we have to deal with.
00:18:25.380 --> 00:18:38.130 Pat Duckworth: and looking gorgeous in orange is our leticia cook who's an international career development and the holistic success coach she's not great corporate wellness partner for for France, island and UK.
00:18:38.580 --> 00:18:47.700 Pat Duckworth: And a strongly advocates wellness well being so much so that she became a yoga teacher and nutritionist to offer health and well being support her business clients.
00:18:48.030 --> 00:19:04.560 Pat Duckworth: As well as helping them to find clarity, energy and fulfillment in Korea and life choices, this is why i've chosen, these were to come in and talk about resolutions today so K, have you certainly resolutions for this year, have you ever sent a resolution that you've kept.
00:19:06.660 --> 00:19:11.580 Kay Newton: So first question have I set and resolution for this year, the answer is no.
00:19:12.870 --> 00:19:19.830 Kay Newton: Second, one have I ever kept her resolution, the answer to that is probably, yes, but I cannot remember.
00:19:20.580 --> 00:19:33.450 Kay Newton: So how's that i'm being honest and so the first one, I think it's really important for me is because the first of January is not the time to set an intention, or a resolution.
00:19:34.140 --> 00:19:40.080 Kay Newton: And I can go into tell you the great details of that or you can ask another same question and come back to me in a minute.
00:19:40.200 --> 00:20:06.030 Pat Duckworth: i'll come back to you in a minute about resolutions, because I have been scouring my brain to think have I ever said a resolution and I can't remember, I honestly can't I I always used to do something at length at length, I always gave up something like chocolate normally chocolate actually.
00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:13.320 Pat Duckworth: might have husband, said to me, I don't know why you give up something you enjoy because every year he gives up elephant hunting.
00:20:14.340 --> 00:20:22.260 Pat Duckworth: And he can honestly say he's never hunted an elephant in length, whereas I could say I probably have eaten a bit of chocolate man man so.
00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:36.750 Pat Duckworth: yeah I can't remember setting a resolution i'm sure I must have done when I was younger, but I can tell you I haven't seen any this year either so same question, and is it, have you ever set well and.
00:20:37.710 --> 00:20:42.840 Anna Letitia Cook: I have in the past and but I wouldn't guarantee i've actually kept them.
00:20:45.300 --> 00:20:50.940 Anna Letitia Cook: I think i've probably been very good for about 10 days, and then it sort of just.
00:20:51.990 --> 00:20:53.310 Anna Letitia Cook: faded into the background.
00:20:54.270 --> 00:20:59.820 Pat Duckworth: Have you ever joined a gym at New Year and found to go to the gym or anything like that well.
00:21:00.150 --> 00:21:12.600 Anna Letitia Cook: Well wellness being my my field now, as well as careers, then obviously yeah and a lot of my clients are all like i'm going to start and i'm going to do this, and every day and i'm like new new new new new new new.
00:21:14.910 --> 00:21:17.190 Pat Duckworth: So, have you certainly resolutions this year.
00:21:17.550 --> 00:21:17.880 No.
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:19.710 Pat Duckworth: Okay we're.
00:21:20.520 --> 00:21:31.830 Pat Duckworth: away we've seen where we're going here and resolutions don't get started So what do you do anything that new year around changing something.
00:21:32.940 --> 00:21:33.330 Pat Duckworth: Anna.
00:21:33.660 --> 00:21:34.410 Anna Letitia Cook: And me.
00:21:35.490 --> 00:21:47.700 Anna Letitia Cook: What I do i'd like to start the New Year on a really good footing, so I mean i'm strange right i'm not normal anyway and, and so I don't have new year's Eve parties, because for me.
00:21:48.360 --> 00:21:58.380 Anna Letitia Cook: I don't see the point if you're trying to celebrate the New Year, having a screaming hangover and eaten loads of food, I don't think is a good start, so I prefer to go to bed early.
00:21:58.620 --> 00:22:09.450 Anna Letitia Cook: get up really early and go out on the hills, you know walking seeing the sunrise because that makes me feel positive and what for me the.
00:22:09.930 --> 00:22:22.320 Anna Letitia Cook: The closest thing I do to a resolution now is search for positivity and something that energizes me so starting with that that's what I do.
00:22:23.010 --> 00:22:38.460 Anna Letitia Cook: And I keep in mind that maybe I should do a little bit more walking or a little bit more X exercise but it's always what's going to make me feel good and what isn't going to put me under pressure because.
00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:45.210 Anna Letitia Cook: I want a positive yeah I don't want to start by giving myself problems and pressure.
00:22:46.320 --> 00:22:49.590 Pat Duckworth: yeah we don't stop shaming of films, for not doing.
00:22:51.030 --> 00:23:07.380 Pat Duckworth: it's not it's not a good idea, is it starting starting the year by beating yourself up because you didn't do something that was pretty arbitrary and, probably, you are never going to do anyway so good idea and I how about UK then expand on your thoughts on this.
00:23:08.520 --> 00:23:16.800 Kay Newton: Well, and a little bit like and I did something I call positive, although you probably go you did what but I went for a cult swim in the sea.
00:23:17.670 --> 00:23:28.110 Kay Newton: And there was about I think this year it's our third year we've done it here in the village, and I think there was about six or eight of us this year so each year there's more and more, there was an awful lot more people watching this year.
00:23:28.710 --> 00:23:38.010 Kay Newton: I think there's about six or eight hours in the water, but for me it's a way of starting the year just like Anna said, you know i'm a positivity it gives you.
00:23:38.400 --> 00:23:46.890 Kay Newton: A case of it's scary it in order to start with, but when you come out the energy the buzzing your body is just phenomenal so that's how I start my new year.
00:23:48.030 --> 00:23:55.290 Kay Newton: In relation to setting intentions, you know I think the first of December as the wrong time to be doing that.
00:23:55.980 --> 00:24:04.050 Kay Newton: And if you think of the season seasonally were in winter in the northern hemisphere wearing heavy summer in the southern Southern hemisphere.
00:24:04.530 --> 00:24:16.680 Kay Newton: So from the northern hemisphere it's a time of rest it's a time of closing down and hibernating and putting your seeds underground so there's nothing to stop you.
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:25.410 Kay Newton: sitting with your dad on and thinking about the things you want to do we create and start and plant but it's still underground.
00:24:25.950 --> 00:24:36.930 Kay Newton: And I love that you said you, you know you tend to do things and Easter, which is spring, which just makes so much sense Okay, you know you were joking about the chocolate in a way it's been a fun and.
00:24:37.620 --> 00:24:51.660 Kay Newton: And Hello elephant hunting but it's perfect time to start thinking about really putting your into intentions into play, but before you put your intentions into play, you need to be thinking about and you want to do and that's what for me this time is for doing.
00:24:52.920 --> 00:24:57.450 Pat Duckworth: I love what yeah I love that I love it because that's what i'm doing.
00:24:58.320 --> 00:25:03.570 Pat Duckworth: i've very intentionally taken quite a long Christmas break.
00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:14.430 Pat Duckworth: I haven't I deliberately didn't book any client sessions for this week and i'm only starting very slowly again next week, although there's always other things to do.
00:25:15.030 --> 00:25:21.210 Pat Duckworth: But actually i've really deliberately said no, this week, I am still resting.
00:25:21.840 --> 00:25:32.880 Pat Duckworth: Because we are in wearing the last winter moon if you're into the whole moons where you know, we had a new moon at the weekend and we're in the last winter moon.
00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:46.500 Pat Duckworth: And nature isn't doing nothing, under the ground all the seeds of air they're all germinating but they're not ready yet put their little shoots out the ground and that's how i'm feeling.
00:25:46.920 --> 00:26:04.500 Pat Duckworth: And because i'm really busy personal and I know you two are as well, it would be very easy for me to keep doing stuff and thinking right January started I should I should be doing this, I should be doing that and I have to rein myself back in and go no.
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:14.970 Pat Duckworth: we're still underground we're still germinating let's just rest and then, when the spring starts when ready to spring.
00:26:16.710 --> 00:26:21.990 Pat Duckworth: So that's where I am and you know I have created intentions for the year.
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:33.780 Pat Duckworth: But also, this is kind of very false thing about the first of January of all his new year new start bought you can start at any time, you know.
00:26:34.260 --> 00:26:39.570 Pat Duckworth: Every day's a new day, every week to new week every month new month that remains a new moon.
00:26:40.410 --> 00:26:50.820 Pat Duckworth: Every season, as a new seasons, so you can you know you can decide when is a good time for you and I know in this season of the year, I should be resting.
00:26:51.150 --> 00:27:07.110 Pat Duckworth: I shouldn't be pushing I should be more relaxing so and I think we're starting to get into that idea of intentions, rather than resolutions so you've mentioned it already okay how about you, is intentional, a better word for you, the resolution.
00:27:07.320 --> 00:27:21.780 Anna Letitia Cook: Of definitely very much so, and and even, I would just say, focusing on certain things that I find positive, but I really like what both of you have said about the seasons.
00:27:22.230 --> 00:27:32.640 Anna Letitia Cook: Because it relates very much to the way druids look at things which you know seasons from a long time ago and it really is mid December.
00:27:33.090 --> 00:27:42.510 Anna Letitia Cook: You start to get towards the light and I find with that I can think okay if i'm going forward towards spring.
00:27:42.870 --> 00:28:01.680 Anna Letitia Cook: Then I can gradually increase my intentions towards spring, it seems like it's a natural energy going that way So yes, i'm I have intentions and but i'm not planning to pressure myself on them at the moment i'm going to let them grow with the seasons.
00:28:02.370 --> 00:28:03.840 Anna Letitia Cook: Know fully it's going to work.
00:28:06.570 --> 00:28:19.890 Pat Duckworth: Well, yes that's where i'm going as well, so we're all working in the same direction so join us after the break but we'll be talking more about intentions and how to set good intentions that help you to make change we'll see you after the break.
00:30:23.430 --> 00:30:31.740 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders that liverpool's where my guests today are K Newton and another tisha cook.
00:30:32.220 --> 00:30:42.600 Pat Duckworth: And if you're watching us on Facebook we've been joined by hairless cats, who is very deliberately and intentionally sitting with its back to some of the same not kidding.
00:30:43.950 --> 00:30:55.590 Pat Duckworth: I used to have a cat when we went away on holiday when we came back, she would very deliberately sit with her back to us for a few days when we got back to go, this is where you get treated if you leave us alone so.
00:30:55.950 --> 00:31:00.360 Pat Duckworth: we're getting a nice of profile now, but I think you're in trouble and you've done something wrong.
00:31:01.110 --> 00:31:05.490 Anna Letitia Cook: I think it's my son's dog that is down here, I am the cat so.
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:17.430 Pat Duckworth: It could get interesting if you're not watching us on Facebook go to talk radio dot nyc talking to hundreds of broadcasting, because you might see a real dog and cat.
00:31:19.530 --> 00:31:39.300 Pat Duckworth: in real time so cats are very intentional I think if we be more cat dogs a lot less intentional much more like you know all what we're doing today, whereas cats really know what they want, in fact, there's a whole model of psychology around cat people and dog people that I really love.
00:31:40.470 --> 00:31:49.710 Pat Duckworth: But Moving on, so we started to talk about intentions and one of my intentions that i've set for this year and intentions tend to operate at a higher level.
00:31:50.040 --> 00:32:01.500 Pat Duckworth: than resolutions resolutions tend to be very goal orientated, whereas intentions tap into something a bit higher and i've set myself an intention of not working so hard this year.
00:32:03.360 --> 00:32:15.390 Pat Duckworth: Yes, I know that doesn't mean I am like beating myself up from being lazy or anything like that it's not judgmental toward it's just that I know how many hours, I put into working.
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:23.970 Pat Duckworth: And one of my values which is Anna was just talking about one of my values top values is my health.
00:32:24.930 --> 00:32:33.990 Pat Duckworth: And I don't know I think i've always been interested in my health and keeping healthy and if you align your intentions with your.
00:32:34.470 --> 00:32:51.480 Pat Duckworth: Values that's when you're more likely to do something about it, if I set myself an intention that isn't tied in with a value or something it's important to me, I am much less likely to do anything about it so turning back to K.
00:32:53.070 --> 00:32:58.500 Pat Duckworth: How about your values and intentions jeweler talk to us a bit about what your top value so.
00:32:58.800 --> 00:33:04.650 Kay Newton: yeah I think you know when you look at your values less than your priorities and.
00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:12.180 Kay Newton: and your intentions and you know I think we do we get to midlife and there is this realization I mean you just talked about this.
00:33:13.020 --> 00:33:31.710 Kay Newton: You know the news at the beginning there's the realization that if we don't have health at midlife 45 plus by the time we get to 7580 were really, really going to struggle, so you know, one of my big intentions last year was to to overcome pain find a way to to do that.
00:33:33.210 --> 00:33:40.800 Kay Newton: And what I like about the word intention, rather than go, is that you can then put that intention out to the universe.
00:33:41.460 --> 00:33:55.740 Kay Newton: And for me last year, what came back was SOS exercise I had never heard of which reduce stress, for me, which was just absolutely phenomenal once a week 30 minutes, and it did an absolutely fabulous job.
00:33:56.760 --> 00:34:13.770 Kay Newton: I learned about auto fuji which I had never heard of which is part of intermittent fasting and applied on the principle of artificially into my life which had huge changes, for me, and then the third one was I found a lady who does.
00:34:14.910 --> 00:34:35.970 Kay Newton: realignment, which is a principal style of yoga let's call it, which again was just phenomenal for my fascia another word I had never heard of last year, and so, if I have physically gone i'm going to set myself a goal, and I am going to lose weight.
00:34:37.020 --> 00:34:46.650 Kay Newton: It would not have been the same as saying, I want to overcome pain and I am open to the synchronicities to the universe, to tell me to show me.
00:34:47.310 --> 00:34:55.860 Kay Newton: What I could possibly do because that's when Google comes in handy all of a sudden, you get thing, and you get an Alex interesting i'll go down that rabbit hole and.
00:34:56.910 --> 00:35:02.280 Kay Newton: Yes, it's relevant notes not relevant so So for me and intentions more of putting out the magic.
00:35:03.780 --> 00:35:05.130 Kay Newton: girl if that makes sense.
00:35:05.790 --> 00:35:15.450 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely, and I think sometimes I might just be speaking From my own perspective here everybody else might go now that's not me and.
00:35:16.080 --> 00:35:27.810 Pat Duckworth: It can be easier to believe that we attract bad stuff but not we attract good stuff you know we always say all don't say I might fall over or this bad thing might happen because it will happen.
00:35:28.410 --> 00:35:39.420 Pat Duckworth: And then we don't believe that if we put out oh i'm going to get healthier this year or i'm going to be more relaxed and calm, this year, but we will attract that.
00:35:40.140 --> 00:35:57.150 Pat Duckworth: So, just as you can attract bad stuff you can attract good stuff by setting intentions and putting them out there, how about you and uh and you do your yoga and nutrition so yeah we'll be right in assuming that good health is pretty top value for you.
00:35:57.600 --> 00:35:58.920 Anna Letitia Cook: You could say say yes.
00:36:00.750 --> 00:36:07.950 Anna Letitia Cook: But I started well a long, long time ago I started being interested in health because i've got a problem with my blood.
00:36:08.370 --> 00:36:23.100 Anna Letitia Cook: And I know that eating healthfully blah blah blah all of that makes a big difference, but even forgetting that and the doctors screeching at me that I need to do X, Y or Z said I just found from my own experience sleep.
00:36:23.130 --> 00:36:24.330 Anna Letitia Cook: You mentioned sleep.
00:36:24.900 --> 00:36:38.070 Anna Letitia Cook: If I don't get enough sleep nothing goes right nothing whether it's my health whether it's my work, whether it's my relationships how I feel in myself I get more stressed so.
00:36:38.610 --> 00:36:45.150 Anna Letitia Cook: I really try to get good sleep, and I think a lot of the.
00:36:45.720 --> 00:36:58.320 Anna Letitia Cook: problems we have is we're very much influenced by what other people say in think not just Google and reading things, but you know the people at work or people in your family if they say you should do this.
00:36:58.650 --> 00:37:11.490 Anna Letitia Cook: You feel almost that you have to, but you need to step back and think for yourself and make it a bigger scope, you know, a bigger idea that goes deeper.
00:37:11.970 --> 00:37:25.050 Anna Letitia Cook: And so, for that I very much i'm into what you eat, which then helps your physical and mental fitness, which also includes getting really good sleep.
00:37:25.470 --> 00:37:34.770 Anna Letitia Cook: And then freeing up your mind to make your choices and not everybody else's choices and then, when you've got all of that together.
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:45.960 Anna Letitia Cook: You can look to what is going to make you feel fulfilled because everything's more rounded everything's more positive but for me if you don't have good food.
00:37:46.500 --> 00:37:55.290 Anna Letitia Cook: And I don't mean just starving yourself, you know really food that is going to give you, energy and it's going to not have a.
00:37:55.740 --> 00:38:06.150 Anna Letitia Cook: Dramatic stressful effect on you, and if you don't have physical fitness and I don't mean being athlete but just again something that's going to.
00:38:06.930 --> 00:38:21.240 Anna Letitia Cook: give you better posture it's going to take away the aches and pains is going to give you more energy that has such a big impact on everything, nothing else is really good unless you have those basis So yes, you can hear i'm totally.
00:38:21.240 --> 00:38:23.490 Anna Letitia Cook: Obsessive about health and fitness.
00:38:24.780 --> 00:38:36.780 Pat Duckworth: And one of my other top values is acquiring and sharing knowledge it's a radio show, because if I find something if I talk to you and you tell me this.
00:38:37.470 --> 00:38:44.820 Pat Duckworth: that's really interesting I but I can't just keep it to myself i've gotta Go and tell 10 other people, you know what you should be thinking about this.
00:38:45.900 --> 00:38:52.800 Pat Duckworth: But the other thing I wanted to say link to what you've both said is that you've got to find what works for you so.
00:38:54.120 --> 00:39:08.310 Pat Duckworth: yeah if you're watching on Facebook, you will have seen the nods, but there are not going on here, because what works for K what works for me in terms of what they when they eat it, how they eat it works for them.
00:39:09.150 --> 00:39:19.350 Pat Duckworth: But your system your body is your body and it's finding what works for you now, there will be some common guidelines.
00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:29.790 Pat Duckworth: But you know, some people say or intermittent fasting works great for me, and I only between 11 o'clock in the morning and five o'clock in the evening.
00:39:30.390 --> 00:39:38.970 Pat Duckworth: And it's had miraculous changes, for me, I feel better i'm slimmer somebody else might try it and they feel so stressed by it.
00:39:39.450 --> 00:39:52.110 Pat Duckworth: And they don't feel well, and you know, perhaps they feel dizzy by 10 o'clock in the morning and and they all know i'm not doing this i'm not trying hard enough, but no it doesn't suit their body.
00:39:52.620 --> 00:40:00.990 Pat Duckworth: And the sort of body work case doing suiting her and she's getting really great results from it and does yoga as well.
00:40:01.530 --> 00:40:07.650 Pat Duckworth: But there are different forms of yoga you try one full of yogurt doesn't work for your body try another one so.
00:40:08.340 --> 00:40:21.420 Pat Duckworth: don't as Anna says don't get thinking, but you've got to do what everybody else does you can take ideas, but really it's about tuning into your body and what's working for you okay i've gone on a bit there.
00:40:21.450 --> 00:40:28.230 Kay Newton: Now, I think I think you're right, and I think what's really good about, that is the difference between goals and intentions yeah.
00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:42.600 Kay Newton: Because what you're stating is instead of saying i'm going to go join wait wait wait wait watches or i'm going to go to the gym what we're saying is we are putting out the intentions that by the end of the year, I will have.
00:40:44.190 --> 00:40:47.400 Kay Newton: gained fitness I would have got better sleep, I will be.
00:40:48.420 --> 00:40:57.990 Kay Newton: Reducing my pain I don't know how i'm going to get there when I set that intention, I wait for the past to open up and show me.
00:40:58.560 --> 00:41:05.100 Kay Newton: And it may be that I go down the path of trying something and go, you know what that def definitely is not my path.
00:41:05.700 --> 00:41:13.620 Kay Newton: i'm not giving up i'm going to go back to the crossroads and i'm going to try the other path and then you go down that, and you go Okay, so you know.
00:41:14.070 --> 00:41:23.880 Kay Newton: This is better, but it's still not right, but I can see another thought coming up and i'm going to go down that So for me that's the thing it's it's it's a travel it's a journey.
00:41:25.140 --> 00:41:28.980 Kay Newton: So part, the intention is to set yourself a date.
00:41:30.600 --> 00:41:35.460 Kay Newton: And we do that with goals and to a certain extent, if it's a good girl, it will have a date with it.
00:41:36.930 --> 00:41:56.640 Kay Newton: But this is a date I think further down the line you know end of yours is a decent time I set mine, for I started in April last year, so our minds 12 months time April this year, so it's not the first of January, which I think is very important, as well as we already talked about.
00:41:56.940 --> 00:42:02.370 Pat Duckworth: yeah and how about you, Mr help How does that resonate with you yeah.
00:42:02.430 --> 00:42:12.630 Anna Letitia Cook: I think what katie said and what you've said really good there because you're focusing on positive forward in the future, and one of the problems.
00:42:13.020 --> 00:42:23.970 Anna Letitia Cook: Sometimes when we're really specific about i've got to follow this diet or i've got to give up something rather we convince ourselves that we're suffering from the loss.
00:42:24.210 --> 00:42:26.100 Anna Letitia Cook: of whatever it is that we're giving up.
00:42:26.610 --> 00:42:35.250 Anna Letitia Cook: And, and that were hard done by or were a martyr or something like that, and so we start to think negatively.
00:42:36.030 --> 00:42:43.110 Anna Letitia Cook: We start to want whatever it is then we've decided, we need to change more and more, and so the whole thing just.
00:42:43.500 --> 00:42:49.440 Anna Letitia Cook: it's like a house of cards it just starts to fall down, whereas if you go with having.
00:42:49.860 --> 00:43:06.420 Anna Letitia Cook: An attendant intention that's further along in the future and it's a general one rather than a really finally focused one we can adapt and we can move around, so if we do have a hiccup because we all have hiccups.
00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:17.220 Anna Letitia Cook: it's not a big deal it's just okay so we'll go down this little lane instead of the main road or this little curve and then we'll get back and it just makes it.
00:43:17.730 --> 00:43:28.590 Anna Letitia Cook: So much more rewarding because we know that in the end we're going to have done really well and we can be proud of ourselves, and I think that it's so important.
00:43:29.190 --> 00:43:38.790 Pat Duckworth: we've got to go to the break now, when we come back remind me about minutes folks pants Okay, this is important minutes folks we'll see you after the break.
00:43:41.700 --> 00:43:42.150 Pat Duckworth: Join us.
00:45:37.980 --> 00:45:45.660 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women radio show and powering women leaders at menopause and if you're not watching on Facebook you just missed a treat.
00:45:45.900 --> 00:45:55.770 Pat Duckworth: And you also missed as Catholic in itself but apart from that, I promised tell you about mints berg's pence I did an MBA about 10 years ago.
00:45:56.130 --> 00:46:04.110 Pat Duckworth: or they're probably closer to 20 years ago now, and one of the models that was used was about strategy and.
00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:15.750 Pat Duckworth: It was meant he came up with this idea of strategy is that we have this kind of straight line between A and B, which is where we think the strategy is going to take us but guess what.
00:46:16.590 --> 00:46:22.020 Pat Duckworth: We start along that line if you're watching on Facebook you're missing the diagram i'm drawing with my hands.
00:46:22.650 --> 00:46:29.310 Pat Duckworth: But you can just imagine that we started a and it drops away in a gentle curve, as we move away from the strategy.
00:46:29.670 --> 00:46:38.550 Pat Duckworth: But then, once we get to the new place we then know where we wanted to get to, and so we start to our Cup in the other direction to get where we wanted to.
00:46:38.940 --> 00:46:53.700 Pat Duckworth: It looks like a pair of pants I was trying to remember this stuff and I said this looks like a pair of pants and see like 17 years old, I still remember mints both parents and probably know, Dr stuff, so we will move on from that so.
00:46:54.930 --> 00:47:03.780 Pat Duckworth: See there's one of my top tips if you make something funny and memorable you're more likely it's more likely to stick, and if you go all there's a really interesting strategy.
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:07.680 Pat Duckworth: I can't remember the name of it now, you will now know about minutes.
00:47:08.370 --> 00:47:25.560 Pat Duckworth: Okay, so okay if we've got people who are thinking yeah I want an intention for the year and I know what my values are you know whether it's around family relationships health fitness whatever it is what's your top tip for setting a good intention.
00:47:27.240 --> 00:47:33.840 Kay Newton: Think my way of setting a really, really good intention is this word that I use a lot, which is space.
00:47:35.070 --> 00:47:44.100 Kay Newton: And Mother Nature gives us one of those amazing backdrops and where to go and set your intention, so the thing I would say to everybody is.
00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:55.020 Kay Newton: Get out there, get out into nature don't go with somebody who's going to chatter chatter chatter chatter constantly at you so that you don't get to enjoy nature.
00:47:55.710 --> 00:48:14.250 Kay Newton: And don't go with you know the marching orders and i'm going from A to B, but go setting intention for the day of being in nature or for an hour or whatever you've got and just sit with nature and listen and ask.
00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:21.930 Kay Newton: What is it that I want to do if you know what you want to do, then how am I going to do it would probably be the next question.
00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:36.390 Kay Newton: Nature always weather for me i've got to see here in the beaches here i've got the mountains, depending on my mood i'll be up there, which I was on Tuesday or i'll be walking on the beach and that's where I do most of my.
00:48:37.650 --> 00:48:55.560 Kay Newton: I call it synchronicity because sometimes it's not even you you've got something, but you can't verbalize it or you can feel it completely and then cameras in and in this in nature, for me, so that's why i'm a day.
00:48:56.100 --> 00:49:09.300 Pat Duckworth: yeah we're both nature lovers, in that way, and if you if you're listening thing I don't live anywhere, where I can go to the mountains, but you can go for a walk you can go to a park go somewhere where you can just be we've.
00:49:09.630 --> 00:49:17.340 Kay Newton: You can even you can even sit in your home and just stare at a rose or a plant if you can't get out into nature that is nature.
00:49:18.000 --> 00:49:20.880 Kay Newton: yeah there's always there for you to tap into.
00:49:22.080 --> 00:49:25.890 Pat Duckworth: Good tip I might come back if we have time what's your top for.
00:49:26.730 --> 00:49:35.460 Anna Letitia Cook: me, I would say, think of yourself as being on a journey of discovery and exploration to know yourself better.
00:49:36.150 --> 00:49:48.570 Anna Letitia Cook: And to enjoy being that the person that you are and your life and so that you can make more free choices in the direction you want to go in.
00:49:49.170 --> 00:49:57.360 Anna Letitia Cook: So that avoids endless circles wasting time blah blah blah, but it gives you the impetus to really go deeper.
00:49:57.840 --> 00:50:11.130 Anna Letitia Cook: And, and if you go deeper you see where you get pleasure and I don't mean you know the happy whoo whoo let's have a perfect life, but the sort of the more profound contentment and relaxation and.
00:50:11.700 --> 00:50:23.340 Anna Letitia Cook: By doing that and just thinking of it really as a journey of discovery again you're not putting yourself under too much pressure and you're giving yourself time to go there.
00:50:23.850 --> 00:50:33.180 Anna Letitia Cook: And so you can gradually get there and does it's a journey you don't expect it to be perfect you expect that you're going to do a few little.
00:50:33.450 --> 00:50:45.300 Anna Letitia Cook: changes and adaptations, so that again gives you more freedom which, when you feel free you feel positive and everything has a nice sunny feel to it.
00:50:46.470 --> 00:50:51.810 Pat Duckworth: And I talked about getting to know yourself loving yourself as you are.
00:50:52.770 --> 00:50:59.970 Pat Duckworth: You know I look in the mirror I know i'm getting older and that's okay getting older, is better than not getting older, I have to tell you that.
00:51:00.360 --> 00:51:12.090 Pat Duckworth: And so, when I look in the mirror I do see the wrinkles and everything else, but I also look at myself from the eyes of my spirit, who goes you're doing great you're still here.
00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:18.150 Pat Duckworth: My spirit doesn't care what I look like it's still doing a good job and think.
00:51:18.540 --> 00:51:31.470 Pat Duckworth: You know, if we go around hating our bodies or how we look we're not going to take care of them would you do more for somebody you love or for somebody you don't like very much you do much more for somebody you love.
00:51:32.190 --> 00:51:39.240 Pat Duckworth: And you know it just helps us to take care of ourselves if we start from that place of love.
00:51:40.380 --> 00:51:42.390 Pat Duckworth: carrie we probably got time for another quick well.
00:51:45.480 --> 00:51:48.060 Kay Newton: I think I think the other thing is.
00:51:49.110 --> 00:51:52.050 Kay Newton: don't set an intention, if you don't want to set an intention.
00:51:53.370 --> 00:52:10.440 Kay Newton: You know just because everybody else's setting intentions doesn't mean to say you have to if you do have what I call event and do list, so the event list is where you find yourself constantly saying Oh, I wish I could have I should do all those types of words.
00:52:11.490 --> 00:52:16.230 Kay Newton: Then change it onto your do list if you want to do something about it.
00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:32.610 Kay Newton: If you don't and that's fine, but you know a lot of people spend a lot of time going, I know what I don't want instead of focusing on I know I do want so two things there really is don't set the intention, if you don't want to, and if you do want to make sure you do want to.
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:33.870 Kay Newton: yeah impulse.
00:52:34.890 --> 00:52:36.960 Pat Duckworth: Excellent I like it ella.
00:52:38.130 --> 00:52:48.240 Anna Letitia Cook: Another thing and say you could set three words and because, if you think of who you are, and you think of what you've done.
00:52:48.810 --> 00:52:59.160 Anna Letitia Cook: Through your life that you're really happy about you enjoy that you've done it your pride is too strong a word, but you just feel real fulfillment that you've done it.
00:52:59.520 --> 00:53:12.840 Anna Letitia Cook: and find those three words but linking them also to how you want to be better or deeper or find more of a resonance and just write them down.
00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:18.840 Anna Letitia Cook: put them on a post it note put them, you know, wherever and stick them on the fridge stick them on the computer stick them on.
00:53:19.410 --> 00:53:33.720 Anna Letitia Cook: The mirror and and just keep those in mind, because if they're really what you feel good about about what you've done in the past and they're linked to where you want to go even further in the future.
00:53:34.080 --> 00:53:45.780 Anna Letitia Cook: they're always going to have a positive reaction and give you that little smile that little bit of energy that little bit of motivation, or even inspiration to just go further.
00:53:47.160 --> 00:53:50.040 Pat Duckworth: I love it there's so much we could talk about we're coming to.
00:53:50.040 --> 00:54:01.260 Pat Duckworth: The end of the show i'm going to be putting your links up on to the website, and I think i'm going to blog about this, this week, so I know the family, the vison runs talk radio dot nyc.
00:54:01.770 --> 00:54:18.780 Pat Duckworth: He posts up blogs i'm going to write him a blog about setting intentions, because I think we have so much to say about it, so thank you so much to both of you for joining me today it's been excellent, I feel we could talk another hour about this, but then don't get us started, but is.
00:54:20.970 --> 00:54:32.370 Pat Duckworth: Stay tuned to talk radio dot nyc where the next program is the amazing Reverend Dr tlc on dismantle racism this week she's talking about the cultural flip side.
00:54:32.790 --> 00:54:42.450 Pat Duckworth: The impact of anti blackness and colorism it has been worldwide those we'd like to skins are systematically and culturally favored in virtually every community of color.
00:54:42.750 --> 00:54:50.010 Pat Duckworth: including those of Latin descent really important conversation next week, I will be talking to the jungle goddess.
00:54:50.880 --> 00:55:02.010 Pat Duckworth: we're going further into nutrition next week, so if one of your intentions, has been to eat healthier, then I think that will be a really amazing conversation.
00:55:02.370 --> 00:55:17.130 Pat Duckworth: If you want to hear more of my conversation that I had with Anna back last year and that recording is still available on talk radio dot nyc go to hot women rock and you will find all the recordings there K i'm.
00:55:17.580 --> 00:55:26.550 Pat Duckworth: You know i'm talking to you again, because you are my very first guest and our recording is now disappeared, but it was very important.
00:55:27.900 --> 00:55:36.900 Pat Duckworth: When we talked about body burden and how the chemicals in our everyday life affect us and we've talked about some really important subjects on here.
00:55:37.260 --> 00:55:46.080 Pat Duckworth: So join me again next week when i'll be talking to the jungle goddess and have a happy New Year oh and Hello again to anna's care take care, everybody.
00:55:46.950 --> 00:55:47.340 bye.