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The Conscious Consultant Hour

Thursday, November 18, 2021
18
Nov
Facebook Live Video from 2021/11/18 - Claiming Your Confidence

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/11/18 - Claiming Your Confidence

 

2021/11/18 - Claiming Your Confidence

[NEW EPISODE] Claiming Your Confidence

This week, on The Conscious Consultant Hour, Sam is joined by award winning speaker, author and confidence expert, Karol Ward, LCSW.

As a confidence-building coach, and trained therapist, Karol is committed to helping others find their inner confidence. Using a powerful body-mind approach, Karol brings psychological insight to her work as a coach and speaker. With her warm, conversational style, she is able to help audiences understand why they do what they do and then gives them the concrete tools they need to make changes.

Karol has a Masters in Clinical Social Work and a BA in Psychology and Communication. She is the author of Worried Sick: Break Free from Chronic Worry To Achieve Mental and Physical Health and Find Your Inner Voice: Using Instinct and Intuition Through the Body-Mind Connection.

Karol has appeared as psychological, confidence and communication expert on CNN, The Wall Street Journal Live, NBC, ABC, Fox News along with numerous podcasts and radio programs. She is regularly featured in the Wall Street Journal and has contributed to such media outlets as Oprah.com, The Independent, Cosmopolitan, Women's Day, First for Women, Glamour.com, The New York Daily News, Spirituality & Health, Yoga Journal, FoxNews.com and Family Circle among others.

Tune in for this enlightening conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Video by Going Here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Sam begins the show reading a section from his book Everyday Awakening. He talks about the archetypal conscientious person who’s keenly aware and converts to losing trust in themselves. Sam discusses the ways in which we can begin to trust ourselves and acknowledge our victories. He segues the conversation to introducing his guest Karol Ward. Ward is a licensed clinical social worker. She is also a confidence building coach. Ward’s mission is to help others find their inner confidence. Ward begins to talk about her background and how she got involved in social psychology. She talked about moving around a lot as a kid due to military parents. Ward found that she was very observant and was always fascinated by people and their behaviors.

Segment 2

Sam and Ward begin to discuss the ways in which people are struggling with reentering the world post pandemic. Ward talks about seeing more public meltdowns over miniscule concerns. She says people are more sensitive now. Sam and Ward discuss how stress affects a person’s confidence. Ward references Sam’s book, Everyday Awakening, discussing how people have fallen out of alignment with themselves and could be affecting the way they make their choices.

Segment 3

Sam and Ward discuss the importance of understanding what you need. Ward talks about those who lose their confidence either need to know how something happened or the need to know what to do. Ward explains those who need to do tend to have something in their way. Those who need to know why something happened usually have an emotional psychological block. Sam and Ward begin to discuss practices that could relieve some of the stress. Ward mentions breathing practices or physical activities. Before the break Sam and Ward discuss those who are dealing with loss and grief. Ward talks about the benefits of finding someone to talk to and hearing others shared experiences.

Segment 4

In the last segment, Sam and Ward discuss how to become intune with what’s going on with your body. Ward mentions her book, Find Your Inner Voice, where she talks about an exercise that helps you sort out the good and bad feelings in your body. Towards the end of the show Sam and Ward talk about the biggest challenge people can be facing in today's climate. Ward says reconnecting to the world can be difficult. She says to be mindful of your reactions and know that people are hypersensitive right now.


Transcript

00:00:27.180 --> 00:00:27.600 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Good Afternoon

00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:41.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant:  my conscious co creators, welcome to another edition of the conscious consultant our awakening humanity i'm very, very pleased that you're all here with me today.

00:00:41.940 --> 00:00:58.830 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: we've got a wonderful show in store for you, with someone i'm very excited to bring back onto the show and onto the network, I should say, but first, of course, we have our little section from my book, everyday awakening and.

00:01:00.060 --> 00:01:10.200 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: let's describe can't wait to get to my guest so i'm just going to dive right in, and so this section and it's actually the first section of the third part of the book.

00:01:11.460 --> 00:01:12.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That all about.

00:01:13.830 --> 00:01:23.100 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: organization integrity energy things like that, and this section is called trusting ourselves is where all empowerment begins.

00:01:23.880 --> 00:01:29.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Trusting ourselves is one of the greatest challenges, especially if we are conscientious.

00:01:29.700 --> 00:01:50.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Because we know all the things we've done wrong in the past, because we were actually aware of all our impure motivations, and because we are keenly sensitive to all the harsh judgments, we have witnessed our whole lives trusting in oneself may be hard to come by.

00:01:52.050 --> 00:02:02.310 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Can we trust ourselves enough not to second guess our choices can we trust ourselves enough to know that our intentions are good, if not pure.

00:02:03.330 --> 00:02:14.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Can we trust ourselves enough to believe in our dreams, even when no one else does, can we trust ourselves enough to keep going when everything seems to be against us.

00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:19.980 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Trust is built slowly one baby step at a time.

00:02:21.210 --> 00:02:39.930 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: First let's start by trying with trusting ourselves that we are showing up the best that we can then let's trust ourselves to walk the path in front of us first slowly then trusting that we can pick up the pace.

00:02:41.160 --> 00:02:49.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Then, how about we learn to trust not only our choices and our decisions, but our ideas, our connections and our leadership as well.

00:02:51.150 --> 00:03:04.380 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We can build trust in ourselves if we are willing to start small count every little victory and then keep our focus on all the things we do right.

00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:08.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: repeat after me I trust myself.

00:03:10.110 --> 00:03:12.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: This is a wonderful little section that I wrote.

00:03:14.160 --> 00:03:25.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: um and it kind of is a combination of different things that i've experienced and heard over the years and a long, long time ago, I remember somebody telling me that.

00:03:26.370 --> 00:03:29.250 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: The truly conscientious person.

00:03:30.300 --> 00:03:47.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: will never appear as confident as somebody who's not quite as conscientious because the conscientious person we just Naturally we are so keenly aware of our missteps of our mistakes of the.

00:03:48.270 --> 00:04:08.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Oh, it was the right thing, but maybe I did it for the wrong reason or Oh, you know I did this, and it just didn't turn out right, you know we when we really conscientious because we want to do a good job so badly we're so aware of all the things we didn't do perfectly.

00:04:09.870 --> 00:04:20.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Whereas the narcissist thinks everything is perfect and never second guessing themselves never looked at their stuff, and so they just keep going and they appear so much more confident but it's a false confidence.

00:04:22.890 --> 00:04:32.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so I know for myself sometimes it's really hard to trust yourself, when you know you've made such bad decisions in the past and really, the key is.

00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:38.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: There were there were always two sides to every story that there's always two parts to it.

00:04:39.900 --> 00:04:48.840 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it's really about which part are we focusing on are we, focusing on the things we didn't do so well, or are we, focusing on the things we did well.

00:04:49.860 --> 00:05:02.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And when we focus on the things we do well, then we feel a little bit better now now, this is not to say like we should ignore our mistakes we learn so much more from our mistakes than we do sometimes from our successes.

00:05:04.440 --> 00:05:17.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's about not judging ourselves for the mistakes it's about allowing ourselves to be human and know that oops I made a mistake i'm a conscious i'm aware of it, and I will do better next time.

00:05:19.050 --> 00:05:26.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And when we just keep repeating that i'll do better next time i'll do better next time and being aware and adding that in.

00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:40.440 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's about building that trust in ourselves slowly one step at a time, a little bit more a little bit more a little bit more, because we don't go from like not trusting ourselves very much to completely trusting ourselves overnight.

00:05:41.640 --> 00:05:54.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just doesn't work that way and if we do do that it's such a manic jump we're very likely it's not built on a solid foundation and and we're going to fall back down and crash when the next thing happens it didn't work out the way we thought.

00:05:57.600 --> 00:05:59.220 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So, trust is something.

00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:12.690 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: that's built slowly that's earned over time and that's Okay, which is so times we're so eager and we're so wanting to like do things so quickly.

00:06:13.890 --> 00:06:32.100 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: That we're just pushing forward and and and and we're like just rushing into it and we don't give ourselves the time to just allow the natural evolution, the natural process, I mean just look at nature, a tree doesn't sprout overnight.

00:06:34.530 --> 00:06:38.910 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It goes through the seasons, year after year after year.

00:06:41.460 --> 00:06:45.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So, again it's about learning to trust ourselves.

00:06:47.010 --> 00:06:56.670 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just a little piece, at a time little piece, at a time little piece, at a time and then recognizing hey I did this well hey I did that well.

00:06:57.090 --> 00:07:05.430 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: hey yeah there is a little reason I mean when when coaching clients come to me, usually one of the first exercises, I give them to keep a victory log.

00:07:05.880 --> 00:07:13.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: End of every day jot down what are the five things you did that that were just victories and I always say, the key to it is.

00:07:14.310 --> 00:07:24.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: don't be such a harsh critic like little things can be a victory smiling at a stranger getting your laundry done cleaning the dishes whatever it is little victory by little victory.

00:07:24.750 --> 00:07:32.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, slowly but surely, the more that we do that, like doing that for 90 days straight is awesome but the more that we do that just.

00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:43.800 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: builds up that that trust in our bodies that trust in our nervous system that hey yeah I can do some good stuff yeah I can do better yeah i'm doing more.

00:07:44.520 --> 00:07:55.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And over time, it really empowers us so trusting ourselves is where all empowerment begins that's the name of the section I hope you liked it and.

00:07:55.980 --> 00:08:07.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: If you did, and you haven't picked up the book, yet which I can't imagine you haven't picked up the book yet, but, just in case you haven't you can just go to www dot everyday awakening book calm.

00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:17.490 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And it'll take you right to the listing on Amazon and hey if you don't like Amazon, and you want to get it a different book seller, you can get it from.

00:08:17.790 --> 00:08:32.970 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Any independent bookseller you may have to ask them to order it but we're in a major distributor so anybody can get it wonderful Okay, I am super super thrilled because I get to introduce to you an amazing person.

00:08:34.020 --> 00:08:39.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And a wonderful human being and someone who i've known for quite a long time because.

00:08:39.810 --> 00:08:54.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In the past, she actually used to do her own show here on talk radio dot nyc so let me introduce you Carol Ward Ward, who is a licensed clinical social worker and you guys know my wife is one so like lcs w is always have a special place in my heart.

00:08:56.070 --> 00:09:00.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And she's an award winning speaker author and confidence expert.

00:09:00.810 --> 00:09:07.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: As a confidence building coach and a trained therapist Carol is committed to helping others find their inner confidence.

00:09:07.800 --> 00:09:21.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Using a powerful mind body approach Carol bring psychological insight to her work as a coach and a speaker with a warm conversational style she's able to help audiences understand what they need what they do.

00:09:23.250 --> 00:09:32.880 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Why they do what they do, excuse me, and then give them the concrete tools they need to change things Carol has appeared on psychological confidence and as a as a.

00:09:33.450 --> 00:09:42.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Psychological confidence and communication expert on CNN The Wall Street Journal live NBC ABC fox news, along with numerous podcasts and radio programs.

00:09:43.020 --> 00:09:53.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: She has a master's degree in clinical social work and a BA in psychology and communications and she is the author of two best selling books worried sick break free from.

00:09:53.520 --> 00:10:06.510 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Chronic worry to achieve mental and physical health and find your inner voice using instinct and intuition through the mind body connection, welcome to the conscious consultant hello, and welcome back on the station car.

00:10:06.990 --> 00:10:22.740 Karol Ward: Oh, Sam it's great to be here and I was thinking you know when you're reading that first section you literally and figuratively capture many, many of my beliefs, I believe, so many of those steps that you talk about and that.

00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:28.290 Karol Ward: That piece about self acceptance, so I know we are starting off in sync today.

00:10:29.010 --> 00:10:45.960 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Absolutely, you know it's so funny i'm really i'm just going through these sections one, at a time in order and it just so funny how it just it always perfectly matches to whoever my guest is and whatever the topic has to be that day so yeah and when I saw what it was, I was like yeah.

00:10:45.990 --> 00:10:46.950 This is a perfect one.

00:10:48.750 --> 00:10:55.320 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: awesome so you know Carol in the beginning of my show he's like to give the audience like a little bit of background, just to give some context.

00:10:55.770 --> 00:11:13.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: um and so i'm just wondering Maybe you can explain to our audience What was it that sort of why you decided to study psychology become a social worker and a therapist like What was it about you know that the social sciences that kind of drew you to it.

00:11:14.220 --> 00:11:29.820 Karol Ward: Well, you know, I think that most people who go this is, this is an assumption, but I think that most people who go into the healing professions are trying to heal something within themselves so whether it's you know childhood traumas or.

00:11:30.840 --> 00:11:41.460 Karol Ward: You know, things that they've experienced later on, as an adult and, for me, I think I went into the profession i've thought about this a long time to get a degree as a social worker.

00:11:42.060 --> 00:11:48.660 Karol Ward: Was I grew up my dad was in the military and I moved around quite a bit, and there was always this.

00:11:49.470 --> 00:12:02.010 Karol Ward: thing that I had to do, which was to meet new people and try to understand who they were and how I could fit in so when you move around a lot I don't know if you've ever had that background i've known people.

00:12:02.520 --> 00:12:07.620 Karol Ward: You become an observer you become an observer, and I think that.

00:12:07.950 --> 00:12:16.560 Karol Ward: Becoming an observer allows you to see what makes people tick both positively and sometimes negatively.

00:12:17.130 --> 00:12:31.920 Karol Ward: Because you have to you have to find your way, so I think way back when that laid the foundation, and then I just always continue to like people and found them fascinating and that led me on this path.

00:12:32.880 --> 00:12:41.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know i've heard it said that um and I personally i've lived very few places in my life but i've known many people.

00:12:41.490 --> 00:12:46.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Who like moved around a lot and and have lived many different places and i've heard it said that.

00:12:47.010 --> 00:12:58.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: When, especially as a child, like your home changes many times you sort of lose the sense of stability which can affect your confidence right so.

00:12:58.920 --> 00:13:12.870 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: It actually, I think, then, is maybe not quite so surprising that you end up becoming a confidence expert because it, am I am I incorrect and then I guessing that maybe that was a little bit of a challenge for you when you're younger.

00:13:13.110 --> 00:13:26.040 Karol Ward: I think so, though I think there's two, I also think it depends on your personality, some people go outward and they say okay i'm going to connect and some people pull in word and I.

00:13:26.700 --> 00:13:38.040 Karol Ward: went outward I wanted to connect with people I was willing to take the chance, I had certainly was shy and I had my stuff my emotional stuff but.

00:13:38.820 --> 00:13:49.140 Karol Ward: i've known other people who really contracted and became quite that that phrase a loner they pulled in whereas I was always part of a group and interested in the group.

00:13:49.410 --> 00:14:02.580 Karol Ward: But, to answer your question more directly, yes, I do think that i've had to work on creating a sense of inner security, which then allows me has allowed me to become more confident.

00:14:03.300 --> 00:14:11.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Wonderful wonderful okay good, so I think we're setting a nice foundation here we're gonna we're gonna take a quick break and when we come back.

00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:18.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: let's really dive in about why this sort of area of confidence you're focusing on today, and maybe.

00:14:19.440 --> 00:14:30.270 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: let's start off right off the BAT like what have you seen over the last year and a half, like since this whole pandemic and everything like what are the things that people are dealing with today that.

00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:43.710 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: affect their confidence that it would help us to be more mindful of and more aware of like what's going on inside of us to help us with what's coming next but who knows what's coming next right.

00:14:43.980 --> 00:14:46.110 Karol Ward: that's right great place to start.

00:14:46.530 --> 00:14:53.340 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Wonderful wonderful so everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do this.

00:14:53.580 --> 00:15:04.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern right here on talk radio dot nyc and all over Facebook on Facebook live, and we will be right back with Carol Ward after these messages.

00:17:23.190 --> 00:17:30.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity we're speaking this hour with confidence expert Carol Ward.

00:17:31.530 --> 00:17:33.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So Carol, as I mentioned before.

00:17:34.650 --> 00:17:42.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I really like to focus on just to make it relevant to our audience and I just want to apologize to my friends on Facebook.

00:17:42.990 --> 00:17:53.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm sure my loyal listeners are checking in patty and sanai and William but we're pre recorded today's show because i'm actually not here today i'm down at a retreat but.

00:17:54.780 --> 00:17:58.050 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I do hope you're tuning in and enjoying the show.

00:17:59.190 --> 00:18:11.520 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: So i'd like to give context to you know what's been going on in the last year year and a half, two years because the world really is different, or at least it feels different to most people doesn't it.

00:18:12.030 --> 00:18:23.250 Karol Ward: It is, it is, and I think that what most people are struggling with I mean there's many things, but the sense of such an insular way of operating.

00:18:24.540 --> 00:18:38.340 Karol Ward: I have felt, you know I thought it was so i'm I all get through this pandemic, but even now i've noticed, as we are emerging, I find that I fallen into the habit of being very insular.

00:18:38.610 --> 00:18:39.870 Karol Ward: So going out.

00:18:39.930 --> 00:18:50.220 Karol Ward: into the world has been more of an effort than I realized so that's one thing that people are struggling with a re entry.

00:18:50.670 --> 00:19:01.800 Karol Ward: i'm not just talking about work, whether you should work at home or go to the office because we're all different, but reconnecting to the energy outside of your home wherever that is.

00:19:02.100 --> 00:19:03.630 Karol Ward: yeah that's one thing.

00:19:03.780 --> 00:19:10.110 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Oh it's completely and it's interesting, you say that because both me and my wife kind of noticed the same thing because.

00:19:10.410 --> 00:19:18.150 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Again, we took our businesses when made them completely virtual things really did well, we were busy we thought Oh, this is good, the business is good.

00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:35.880 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But when we didn't realize like the the underlying stress of it and then like just not not being with people and not traveling and not going out and then suddenly you start to go out and it's like there's still this little unconscious nervousness that you never used to have.

00:19:36.300 --> 00:19:41.610 Karol Ward: Absolutely and and that's another thing that i've i've written about recently, which is.

00:19:42.810 --> 00:19:56.310 Karol Ward: All that stress and you know i'm a big body mind person that's the whole that's the training my my psychological training, besides being a clinical social worker i'm a semantically trained therapists body focused.

00:19:56.940 --> 00:20:01.920 Karol Ward: What people are experiencing now is that all of that stress and all of those emotions.

00:20:03.510 --> 00:20:18.150 Karol Ward: got tucked away in order to make the adjustment to working at home and taking care of kids and and setting up businesses at home, but those emotions didn't go away.

00:20:18.690 --> 00:20:27.720 Karol Ward: And now, what i've seen and it's been written about all over the place, as people go back out into the world you're seeing emotional meltdowns.

00:20:28.110 --> 00:20:29.160 Karol Ward: you're seeing people.

00:20:29.280 --> 00:20:49.530 Karol Ward: overreact to being asked to wait to someone stepping in front of them to an airline person saying, could you please put on your mask and there's this explosion of feeling, from my perspective, my psychological perspective that goes way beyond the situation.

00:20:49.830 --> 00:20:51.000 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Right right.

00:20:51.900 --> 00:21:04.800 Karol Ward: Right it's it's all of those feelings that got pushed to the side that now, as we start to move and interact the body's really smart it's like oh there's an opening here.

00:21:05.220 --> 00:21:07.230 Karol Ward: let's release these emotions.

00:21:07.290 --> 00:21:13.800 Karol Ward: And that's why there are these big big meltdowns and and deep deep feelings coming up.

00:21:15.060 --> 00:21:16.650 Karol Ward: As things are getting better which can.

00:21:16.650 --> 00:21:17.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: confuse yeah.

00:21:17.880 --> 00:21:30.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah it's interesting it's kind of like like people the water's been boiling underneath the surface and then any little thing and boom there's an explosion, the steam all comes out and like i've seen it.

00:21:30.930 --> 00:21:45.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm just walking on the sidewalks of Manhattan where somebody passes somebody and they they they either brushed into them or to close or something you know something happened, and the other person starts yelling at the person.

00:21:45.810 --> 00:21:50.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know we're in the past, would be just like excuse you, you know you know and.

00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:55.050 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Often, no big deal, but now it's like people just below up at the drop of a hat.

00:21:55.620 --> 00:22:03.630 Karol Ward: it's true i'm in Manhattan as well, and I, I found myself I I was got out of my neighborhood, which was a big deal, I was like okay.

00:22:03.900 --> 00:22:09.330 Karol Ward: i'm going to meet someone for lunch and I took the bus uptown I happen to like the bus i'd like to look out at things.

00:22:10.260 --> 00:22:16.770 Karol Ward: And there was someone behind me i'm sitting and who's starting to get very agitated at the driver.

00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:23.790 Karol Ward: Oh he's going so slowly he's doing it on purpose do you see what he's doing now he's getting agitated.

00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:34.470 Karol Ward: And i'm starting my nervous system is starting to react so he's yelling and I want to turn around and say it's not the drivers fault like this whole thing.

00:22:34.830 --> 00:22:46.710 Karol Ward: And I thought, because I, I had just written about it that particular week, this is not your battle to get into Carol step back calm down consciously calm down.

00:22:47.340 --> 00:23:05.250 Karol Ward: And let this go this has nothing to do with the driver, and so I had to that's what that's what i'm experiencing we see it, then we're affected, then we take it out on other people again because we are particularly sensitive right now.

00:23:05.580 --> 00:23:08.880 Karol Ward: we're just unused to our own nervous system, so to speak.

00:23:09.120 --> 00:23:16.350 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Right right and again, as you mentioned before, like this being insulated from things I mean in many ways.

00:23:16.770 --> 00:23:22.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, we were all at home, we were kind of cocooned I mean those of us that weren't essential workers and didn't have to go out.

00:23:23.700 --> 00:23:30.990 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We were able to do it, and now I keep hearing studies about like businesses that want the workers to come back in the office.

00:23:31.230 --> 00:23:37.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And many people don't want to come back in the office or if they are coming back they're coming back just one day a week or two days a week.

00:23:37.770 --> 00:23:44.280 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And many people I know moved because they're like Oh, I can do my job virtually now I can do it from anywhere I don't have to be here in New York.

00:23:44.670 --> 00:24:02.040 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so again it's like they're in who knows Florida Hawaii California, you know, wherever and and now they they we physically can have that connection, because all of a sudden we've gotten used to the fact, like those I can anyway, that that we can work virtually.

00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:11.160 Karol Ward: it's so true but here's an interesting thing I don't know if you've experienced this so there was this great reaction, understandably, out of fear of people.

00:24:11.610 --> 00:24:20.310 Karol Ward: fleeing familiar territory right and for some, it was the greatest decision in the world, but for others.

00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:28.560 Karol Ward: They are now missing their familiar territory, which adds to stress, they think oh great i'm.

00:24:28.980 --> 00:24:37.440 Karol Ward: i'm now out of wherever they were an urban environment or the suburbs, or whatever, I found this great piece of land and i'm going to live off the land and work from home.

00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:43.500 Karol Ward: And then there's another kind of adjustment that occurs of i've lost my network.

00:24:43.980 --> 00:24:58.920 Karol Ward: have them online, but i've lost my familiar Community so i've talked to people who are experiencing for those of listeners, who are who are old enough, a kind of a green acres reaction that TV show green acres where the.

00:24:58.920 --> 00:25:07.140 Karol Ward: couple months out of New York City, and then they buy a farm and everything goes wrong to comic effect but they're experiencing that and.

00:25:07.650 --> 00:25:28.890 Karol Ward: I think people are trying to find where they belong and and who they want to connect to and what they want to do so, things are still very, very much in flux and that's what I see people dealing with it wasn't like i'm going to pluck myself up i'm going to go here and all as well.

00:25:29.250 --> 00:25:35.880 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah it's really interesting I find like the this sort of two things I see going on at the same time there's some people.

00:25:36.630 --> 00:25:46.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: who've moved out and even if they're not staying where they initially moved to they move to like a more natural environment, surrounded by nature, and they just love it and they like just want to be around nature.

00:25:46.770 --> 00:25:57.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And so they're looking for a place to live that's more nature and then like a few weeks ago I was in a ceremony, and I saw an old friend I hadn't seen for like two two and a half years.

00:25:57.990 --> 00:26:11.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And he moved upstate and he's an artist and he's got like a big House a barn he's got all his artwork up there now and I said, how does it, how does it feel of the you must really like it, because I do like it, he said, but you know the truth is, I feel isolated.

00:26:11.910 --> 00:26:12.330 Karol Ward: huh.

00:26:13.320 --> 00:26:26.760 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah because all of his friends are down in the city with those that are still here or other places and and so he yeah he can connect to them virtually but it's not the same as being in the presence of people, you know.

00:26:27.210 --> 00:26:28.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And, and it feels like.

00:26:29.880 --> 00:26:36.390 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: People are really starting now to thirst for that in person connection.

00:26:37.080 --> 00:26:43.290 Karol Ward: Absolutely, so you have these ripples with these ripples of change, I change this and yet there's still more change.

00:26:43.320 --> 00:26:56.610 Karol Ward: going on to the original change and that that stresses people out and then the other thing and i'm not going to jump into this topic deeply of you know why is there such animosity.

00:26:57.330 --> 00:26:57.870 Karol Ward: Is that.

00:26:57.990 --> 00:27:08.130 Karol Ward: psychologically speaking often certain areas, the vaccine, the economy, a political party becomes a symbol for.

00:27:09.330 --> 00:27:13.770 Karol Ward: resolve issues that have been ongoing for a long time.

00:27:14.010 --> 00:27:14.910 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah okay.

00:27:15.180 --> 00:27:23.760 Karol Ward: So everything gets focused on that issues, and there are legitimate legitimate aspects to each of those issues but that.

00:27:24.660 --> 00:27:34.650 Karol Ward: Huge it's like those emotions that get tucked aside the huge repression of feelings or suppression of people's right to be who they are.

00:27:35.400 --> 00:27:47.490 Karol Ward: The lid is off and all of it is pouring out now so it's not it's not so easy or it's too simplistic Sam to actually think that people should be one way or another.

00:27:48.330 --> 00:27:55.170 Karol Ward: there's all of these deeper feelings that have been unleashed and need to run their course.

00:27:55.230 --> 00:28:01.530 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: In a way, yeah yeah absolutely absolutely yeah I mean that that could be a whole nother show in another.

00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.610 topic.

00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:07.200 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But I do we just have a couple of minutes before break, I just want to.

00:28:08.100 --> 00:28:14.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: get into now sort of we talked about sort of the stress of the environment and the stress of what we're dealing with.

00:28:14.760 --> 00:28:29.010 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: How does that stress affect our confidence, because this is something that you've really looked at a lot and you've really studied a lot and so let's just lay the foundation let's just just touch upon it, and then, when we come back from break we'll get more deeply into it.

00:28:29.760 --> 00:28:39.990 Karol Ward: won't stress really steals confidence, because if we are agitated and emotional than our ability to, as you said at the beginning, which I thought was beautifully said.

00:28:40.260 --> 00:28:56.250 Karol Ward: tune in get in alignment with who we are and what we feel a need and believe about ourselves if we're out of alignment with that because of stress, then we can't confidently make the choices that we need to make.

00:28:56.550 --> 00:28:57.990 Karol Ward: So getting back to that.

00:28:57.990 --> 00:29:13.830 Karol Ward: place of alignment and working with the stress in different ways, is going to help people get back on their their confidence horse, so that they can make more organic and good choices for themselves.

00:29:14.670 --> 00:29:25.170 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: gotcha gotcha okay alright so we're gonna go to break and when we come back let's talk about what kinds of things can people do to regain their confidence.

00:29:25.860 --> 00:29:29.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay, so, because now we're In it we know it, we see it, we feel it.

00:29:30.510 --> 00:29:43.770 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: it's affecting our confidence what kinds of things, what kind of practices, what kind of stuff can people use today to kind of help them to feel better about it in their bodies, since since you're somatic therapists Okay, Carl.

00:29:44.070 --> 00:29:44.670 Karol Ward: that's great.

00:29:45.270 --> 00:29:57.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Wonderful so everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity we're speaking this hour with confidence expert Carol Ward and we will be right back after these messages.

00:32:05.250 --> 00:32:09.090 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Welcome back to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity so Carol.

00:32:09.690 --> 00:32:22.890 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: We are experiencing all this stuff a lot of unknowns we've been under a lot of stress it causes us to react in ways and respond in ways that don't necessarily serve us.

00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:40.470 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that knocks down our confidence like oh I messed up again oh look I was so harsh with this person I really should have been harsh with that person what kinds of things can people do to start to regain their confidence and help them to feel like they're moving in a better place.

00:32:41.370 --> 00:32:53.700 Karol Ward: yeah you know I always think it's good to understand what you need so some people when it comes to confidence need the how to, and some people need the help come.

00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:56.010 Karol Ward: Right it.

00:32:56.220 --> 00:32:59.670 Karol Ward: Because i've had people come to me and literally say to me look.

00:32:59.760 --> 00:33:11.640 Karol Ward: I know what has caused me to lack confidence in the past, what i'm looking for when I coach them is the concrete steps to move forward i'm ready for that that's one path.

00:33:12.360 --> 00:33:20.730 Karol Ward: The other path is, I know what I need to do, but something's in my way and i'm struggling with what that is.

00:33:21.270 --> 00:33:29.430 Karol Ward: that's the how come peace, how come and that's usually an emotional psychological piece so there's that there's those two areas.

00:33:30.060 --> 00:33:39.030 Karol Ward: But to get to the answer of what it is for you, there needs to be a tuning in and a calming down of the stress.

00:33:39.780 --> 00:33:57.630 Karol Ward: Now one way is to literally do some sort of breathing there are many, many techniques out there, I, I have a breathing technique that I offer people, which is breathing and a little bit of isometric exercises.

00:33:57.660 --> 00:34:04.830 Karol Ward: With the fingers and just to let your listeners know they can get that free exercise on my website it's a it's a free.

00:34:04.830 --> 00:34:06.330 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: download and wonderful.

00:34:06.660 --> 00:34:20.040 Karol Ward: So that's a kind of calming down stress, but then there are other people, Sam who don't want to come down to come down, they need to do something that's much more invigorating.

00:34:20.340 --> 00:34:21.330 Karol Ward: To come them.

00:34:22.050 --> 00:34:22.560 Karol Ward: So it's.

00:34:23.190 --> 00:34:31.050 Karol Ward: worked out the energy they need to work out the energy and I share this story from my first book, where I worked with someone who was.

00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:46.800 Karol Ward: going through a very bad breakup and she was in a lot of pain, but she was really angry and she said to me, you know everyone tells me to do yoga and to breathe and to help me calm down I don't want to do it.

00:34:47.340 --> 00:34:56.580 Karol Ward: And I said okay you don't have to what do you want to do, and I said tune in what is your body telling you it needs right now.

00:34:57.270 --> 00:35:22.470 Karol Ward: And she sat for a moment and she said, I want to kick box and I said go for it go for it, and she did, and she ended up feeling empowered and confident because she matched what her body was telling her, she needed to do to feel grounded other people it is yoga or meditation.

00:35:22.710 --> 00:35:25.890 Karol Ward: Some people it's running some people it's.

00:35:26.340 --> 00:35:28.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: going for a hike in the word.

00:35:28.170 --> 00:35:30.090 Karol Ward: Exactly so.

00:35:30.210 --> 00:35:37.200 Karol Ward: Stress relief relieving is very individual, but I.

00:35:38.370 --> 00:35:51.480 Karol Ward: And if people say well how do I know what do I, how do I figure out for the more agitating emotions like anger or irritation frustration usually releasing some kind of more forceful thing.

00:35:52.470 --> 00:36:00.930 Karol Ward: we're sadness for feeling melancholy for feeling anxiety something that's sues the nervous system.

00:36:00.960 --> 00:36:01.590 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: can be a good.

00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:05.400 Karol Ward: These are broad categories, but those are good places to start.

00:36:06.780 --> 00:36:15.570 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: A lot of people have experienced loss over the last couple of years, whether it's loss of a loved one loss of a job loss of a home.

00:36:16.860 --> 00:36:18.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Dealing with loss.

00:36:19.650 --> 00:36:28.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Is it also like kind of all over the place, or would you say like there are certain more sort of common themes that you see with loss in terms of how to deal with it.

00:36:29.310 --> 00:36:42.690 Karol Ward: We know we're not such a great society for allowing people to experience loss right i'm sure you i'm sure you know this, we tend to put labels on it, we tend to put a time.

00:36:43.380 --> 00:36:58.830 Karol Ward: frame on it well it's been here it's been six months and you should be fill in the blank whereas loss for some areas of our life is a lifelong process, and I think people have a.

00:37:00.300 --> 00:37:11.280 Karol Ward: fallacy about well if i'm grieving I should be grieving heavily deeply all the time that's what grief is and that's not necessarily the case grief has.

00:37:12.390 --> 00:37:24.360 Karol Ward: A path to it a journey to it and often grief emerges more acutely after the shock wears off, which goes back to what we were talking about before.

00:37:25.290 --> 00:37:47.040 Karol Ward: coven put us all into a state of shock and we got numb and then we did things to in order to get ourselves together enough to function for the next year well the shock is wearing off and now the grief and loss is coming up for people and they might say, well.

00:37:48.210 --> 00:37:53.370 Karol Ward: I lost that person or I lost my job or I lost that situation a year ago Why am I.

00:37:54.450 --> 00:37:55.440 Karol Ward: feel sad now.

00:37:56.850 --> 00:38:12.210 Karol Ward: it's it's the time for it to come up Nice, well, I think, finding someone to talk to or finding a group to land with and and hear other people share experiences.

00:38:12.690 --> 00:38:24.390 Karol Ward: You know I think it's an it's an underutilized resource, but some people can't afford to see a therapist or counselor and I always say check out the 12 step programs.

00:38:25.980 --> 00:38:31.380 Karol Ward: anon is a great program for people it's not about a substance it's about.

00:38:31.410 --> 00:38:31.950 Karol Ward: People.

00:38:32.370 --> 00:38:34.560 Karol Ward: And that's a great program to.

00:38:35.610 --> 00:38:39.330 Karol Ward: To use it finances are tight.

00:38:39.780 --> 00:38:48.630 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah yeah that's really good that's really good like i'm thinking of of a very good friend of mine who lost her son, who odd.

00:38:49.710 --> 00:39:10.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Just you know 334 months ago, and he had just graduated from college he had job prospects, I mean things were going so well but internally, he was suffering and he was self medicating and then he just overdid it and and she was so close to him shoot she was so.

00:39:12.210 --> 00:39:16.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: tight with them that it's so devastating and she went and lived with her sister for three months.

00:39:17.490 --> 00:39:31.140 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And she came back and and I could see like still that the grief is so present and I know like this is going to take a long time, this is not something she's going to get over in a week a month or even a year.

00:39:31.740 --> 00:39:47.910 Karol Ward: that's right, and I think people are afraid of grief of how to how to negotiate or how to interact with someone who's grief stricken and you talked about it again, you talked about humanity to be able to say to someone I don't know what to say to you.

00:39:47.970 --> 00:39:49.260 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: My heart is broken for.

00:39:49.260 --> 00:40:06.450 Karol Ward: You i'm going to i'll sit here with you, I will you can call me i'll call you even if you don't pick up the phone because we often fall into that well i'm here, for if you need me, but the person is grief stricken doesn't have the emotional energy.

00:40:06.690 --> 00:40:07.650 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: To take action.

00:40:08.130 --> 00:40:20.670 Karol Ward: Again it's very insular grief and it's very easy, so if we make the call if we send the email and say i'm here i'm checking in on you.

00:40:21.780 --> 00:40:27.900 Karol Ward: If you run into them in person to just share awkwardness but our heart with them.

00:40:28.290 --> 00:40:28.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: mm hmm.

00:40:29.010 --> 00:40:32.850 Karol Ward: because sometimes people say Oh, if I don't I don't want to talk about it so that person doesn't.

00:40:33.600 --> 00:40:33.960 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Really.

00:40:34.470 --> 00:40:36.630 Karol Ward: bring it up for them they're in it you're.

00:40:36.660 --> 00:40:37.200 Karol Ward: There in it.

00:40:38.100 --> 00:40:42.390 Karol Ward: And sometimes they even feel more lonely when people step away so say.

00:40:44.160 --> 00:40:47.040 Karol Ward: I i'm here for you in any way I can.

00:40:47.970 --> 00:41:06.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And you know the other thing hearing you talk with it also brings up to me, is also validating how that person feels because so often right it's a natural instinct that when someone says Oh, that I hate this it hurts that it up and we're like oh don't worry it'll get better it's.

00:41:06.660 --> 00:41:07.170 Karol Ward: Like.

00:41:07.200 --> 00:41:11.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know we're trying to make them feel better instead of saying you know what you're right this sucks.

00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:12.000 Karol Ward: that's right.

00:41:12.090 --> 00:41:14.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And and i've noticed that when I.

00:41:15.210 --> 00:41:28.500 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: say that to people it's like you're right this really sucks this is awful this is horrible there's like a sense of relief that that someone actually sees them in can empathize that what they're going through is difficult.

00:41:29.130 --> 00:41:40.290 Karol Ward: that's so true, I mean in all my years of being a therapist and a coach I think if I could I could distill it down what people want is to be seen and heard.

00:41:40.860 --> 00:41:49.860 Karol Ward: yeah they want to be seen and heard shut and just to describing that taking someone in saying through thought word indeed.

00:41:50.370 --> 00:42:06.960 Karol Ward: I see you and I hear you talk to me share with me and that, believe it or not, goes right back to the area of confidence, because if we feel that we're being seen by others and actually by ourselves.

00:42:07.230 --> 00:42:08.970 Karol Ward: We can then start.

00:42:08.970 --> 00:42:15.120 Karol Ward: To take those steps toward competence building, which is a lifelong process, I think.

00:42:15.450 --> 00:42:23.370 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah absolutely absolutely now we've been talking about a lot of stuff and you keep kind of bringing it up, but we haven't really.

00:42:24.930 --> 00:42:32.130 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: focused on the aspect of the somatic side of it, the body side of it, you know we did a little bit with the releasing of energy but.

00:42:32.610 --> 00:42:40.080 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know, sometimes I feel like in Western society we're so all up in our heads, like everything is very mental.

00:42:40.590 --> 00:42:59.400 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But as you found, and I think many practitioners find like so much is stored in the body it's in the cells of the body it's in the nervous system it's in the physicality and we need to include the body into whatever kind of practice we're doing to deal with this stuff don't we.

00:42:59.790 --> 00:43:10.440 Karol Ward: We absolutely do and again it is it's a process that's the thing about change and shifting is that people think Oh, I get the concept to get the idea and then.

00:43:10.830 --> 00:43:22.680 Karol Ward: I make the change as opposed to, there is a confidence building process, there is a body connection process that happens, through taking the time.

00:43:23.130 --> 00:43:38.520 Karol Ward: To notice what you're feeling when you're feeling it or to think back like oh I shouldn't have made that decision, can I think back and tune into how I was feeling when I did.

00:43:39.180 --> 00:43:48.480 Karol Ward: So it's it's doing a little bit of that homework and then there's some other exercises that people can do to start tuning into their body which.

00:43:48.750 --> 00:43:49.890 Karol Ward: are really, really helpful.

00:43:49.980 --> 00:44:00.120 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah I want, I want to dig into that a little bit more, because I know a lot of people have a hard time feeling what their feelings are so we're gonna take a quick break when we come back.

00:44:00.660 --> 00:44:09.720 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: let's talk a little bit more about what can people do to really feel their body and feel their feelings in their body, so that they can at least be present to it.

00:44:10.200 --> 00:44:19.020 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And then, what kind of exercises or practices they can do, and if we have time i'd like to prognosticate a little bit about moving forward and where you see us going okay cow.

00:44:19.260 --> 00:44:34.710 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Sure wonderful so everybody, please stay tuned you're listening to the conscious consultant our awakening humanity, we do this every Thursday 12 noon to 1pm Eastern right here and talk radio dot nyc and we will be right back with Carol Ward after these messages.

00:46:03.630 --> 00:46:12.060 Listening to talk radio nyc at www talk radio dot nyc now broadcasting 24 hours a day.

00:46:36.600 --> 00:46:40.620 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: and welcome back to the conscious consultant hour so Carol.

00:46:41.670 --> 00:46:49.740 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: um lots of times when i'm talking to people and and it's almost kind of funny that, like, I can see.

00:46:50.250 --> 00:46:57.420 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Their feelings, the way they're holding their body and they're moving and this and if you ask them, they say I don't feel anything.

00:46:58.200 --> 00:47:11.850 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: How do we help people who it's almost like we're almost scared to feel what we're feeling, how do we help people to tune into what actually is going on with their body and feel that.

00:47:12.780 --> 00:47:20.490 Karol Ward: Well, I have this very simple and fun exercise in my first book find your inner voice and it sounds so.

00:47:21.300 --> 00:47:32.730 Karol Ward: Basic but I say to people, I want you to work with good feelings bad feelings and I will tell people to sit down and this is good feelings, I want you to imagine.

00:47:33.510 --> 00:47:47.370 Karol Ward: All the wonderful things that you like in love in life, your dog your partner your child the beautiful sunset beautiful meal and just notice how you're noticing that.

00:47:48.450 --> 00:48:00.600 Karol Ward: So people will say Oh, you know my chest feels warm and my my shoulders drop down, so it starts to cue you to know that your body knows.

00:48:01.170 --> 00:48:18.630 Karol Ward: How it responds to good feelings, then I tell them to switch it out let's talk about some bad feelings that you know leftover cold meal that terrible boss, you had that horrible rainy day and people will say.

00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:30.810 Karol Ward: ooh my shoulders are tensing the back of my neck is starting to tingle and i'll say you actually are now starting to wake up your body and remind you.

00:48:31.290 --> 00:48:39.300 Karol Ward: have your body remind you that you actually do and are continually having reactions to things in your environment.

00:48:39.900 --> 00:48:58.260 Karol Ward: And I tell people to just practice that exercise on and off every day till they start to get fluid in it, so that the next time when they are i'm going to make something up going out on a blind date and as they meet that person.

00:48:59.430 --> 00:49:07.530 Karol Ward: Their chest gets warm and their shoulders relax and they think Oh, this is a nice positive experience, even though might be nervous or.

00:49:08.190 --> 00:49:33.570 Karol Ward: The other side gee this person on paper looks great my friend said this person was great, but they are actually not feeling right to me how do I know that tense neck flipping stomach, so this is a way to start taking that basic exercise and applying it in the real world gotcha.

00:49:33.810 --> 00:49:41.730 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: gotcha i'm glad you brought up this idea of relationships, because I think this is something a lot of people are struggling with right now.

00:49:42.960 --> 00:49:51.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And i've heard a lot from people that number one like people who are not in a relationship want to be in a relationship and they're having a hard time.

00:49:52.200 --> 00:50:07.410 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Meeting somebody or people who are in a relationship and it's not that good and they feel like they want to end it, but because things are so isolating they they would rather have somebody than anybody, what can we do when we're kind of stuck in this place of like.

00:50:08.670 --> 00:50:22.950 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: You know I want more relationships and one more connection but i'm just not sure I had to get it, how can we build up our confidence so that we can make the appropriate choice in those types of situations.

00:50:23.430 --> 00:50:32.460 Karol Ward: Well, the first thing is to normalize a great everyone's feeling this way I think people tend to go oh everyone's meeting everyone or everyone has a great relationship.

00:50:32.910 --> 00:50:53.250 Karol Ward: Not the case you know I worked as a therapist for many years, and what we see in social media I say it's it's not what's behind the curtain right so that it's important to first get a reality check and this is just a side note whenever you're feeling bad do not hang out on social media.

00:50:53.280 --> 00:50:53.820 Karol Ward: It will not.

00:50:54.030 --> 00:51:02.910 Karol Ward: You feel better it's not designed for that, as we know, so I think to read to get in touch with okay.

00:51:04.410 --> 00:51:15.150 Karol Ward: What what do I want in terms of a partner, I know it sounds very basic what do I want, how do I want to meet them what what do I, what do I.

00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:26.880 Karol Ward: care about where to how do I want to connect and then to realize that, as you make the attempt, because it will take effort it's the recognition you want it and then.

00:51:27.390 --> 00:51:36.960 Karol Ward: The effort if you want to meet someone, how do you want to meet them online in person, do you want to start going to events.

00:51:37.560 --> 00:51:47.550 Karol Ward: So it means putting yourself out and be willing to be open to the idea that you're open to meeting someone.

00:51:48.300 --> 00:52:01.440 Karol Ward: And I did this exercise once I I wasn't about meeting someone, but I wanted to see if I could connect to people on the elevator who because we're all on our phones.

00:52:02.100 --> 00:52:16.740 Karol Ward: So, so when I had my office and I got on, and this was my rule if someone made eye contact with me, first of all, I never used my phone in the elevator if someone made eye contact with me, I would say hi how's your day going.

00:52:18.180 --> 00:52:19.620 Karol Ward: At people were startled.

00:52:19.860 --> 00:52:21.180 Karol Ward: But often people would.

00:52:21.240 --> 00:52:25.050 Karol Ward: engage with me or I would smile depending on your comfort level.

00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:40.680 Karol Ward: So there was this there was this warming up or I tell people if you are shy, and you want to meet someone start practicing with strangers you're in the city, we have a lot of us have doorman or door.

00:52:40.680 --> 00:52:48.450 Karol Ward: Women start to say hello start to interact say hello to the bus driver whatever start making connection.

00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:50.400 Karol Ward: So that you get used to.

00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:53.280 Karol Ward: being open to being open.

00:52:54.930 --> 00:53:10.440 Karol Ward: To meeting someone so that is one way to just get get into the habit and don't try to jump to the to the brand new relationship before you've allowed we go back to that word process the process.

00:53:12.930 --> 00:53:23.640 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that sounds like something valuable to keep in mind just in general, like as things are opening up more and things start to I don't want to say get back to normal.

00:53:24.810 --> 00:53:42.900 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: But start moving from from the pandemic area to the post pandemic era of like just stepping out going to restaurants starting to travel starting to do these things of take it easy you don't have to jump in all at once, right.

00:53:43.230 --> 00:54:00.810 Karol Ward: that's right it's that easing in and and to answer the question about tied to the about what about if you're in a relationship that seems to be off, I always recommend that you have conversations about things being off, not in the heat of the battle.

00:54:02.160 --> 00:54:07.410 Karol Ward: Right when you're both relaxed when you're sitting down to say you know I want to talk with you and.

00:54:09.720 --> 00:54:17.100 Karol Ward: I really need the space to share my thoughts, can we can we do that let's let's do it, and then to bring it up in a very neutral way.

00:54:17.490 --> 00:54:34.200 Karol Ward: So that you're not like screaming at the top of your lungs, in the middle of an argument going, you know i'm not sure if I want to be with you arguments exaggerate feeling so let's have those conversations when things are more neutral yeah and you're relaxed.

00:54:35.040 --> 00:54:47.700 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Right absolutely um you know time just flies I can't believe the show's almost over it's been such such a pleasure, having you on so so just real quickly, and I do want to give you time to give out your contact information.

00:54:48.180 --> 00:54:57.450 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: i'm moving forward, like the post pandemic world, what do you feel will be our biggest challenge and what can we do to meet it.

00:54:58.680 --> 00:55:09.600 Karol Ward: It is that reconnection it is that emerging out into the world, so the way to address, that is to not just go well thanks for back and i'm just going to step out the way that I used to because we're all different.

00:55:09.990 --> 00:55:15.210 Karol Ward: But every day before you do go out into the world to prepare yourself.

00:55:16.020 --> 00:55:18.630 Karol Ward: To go out into the world to say to yourself.

00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:29.700 Karol Ward: People are over reactive right now I need to be mindful of my own reaction and not take on every single battle.

00:55:29.790 --> 00:55:38.220 Karol Ward: Out there so to prepare to reemerge as if it is a whole new phase and era, and it is.

00:55:38.550 --> 00:55:39.060 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: And that.

00:55:39.120 --> 00:55:42.990 Karol Ward: Is a much gentler more compassionate way of treating ourselves.

00:55:43.170 --> 00:55:53.190 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: yeah absolutely absolutely Carol Thank you so much, it was a pleasure to have you on the show great to reconnect and to see you.

00:55:53.820 --> 00:56:03.300 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: glad to see you're looking well um if people want to learn more about you find out more get that free gift where can they go, how can they get in touch with you.

00:56:04.260 --> 00:56:12.600 Karol Ward: on my website Carol with a K, as you know, kr O l Ward calm and on the homepage there'll be a little.

00:56:12.960 --> 00:56:27.210 Karol Ward: Section that says what does exactly what we talked about stress steals confidence, but you can steal it back and there's a free audio download set to original music that people can opt in to get so that is there for all of your listeners.

00:56:27.420 --> 00:56:38.460 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Wonderful wonderful I highly highly recommend you take advantage of it or website again is Carol K O R E a l Ward w ar D COM.

00:56:39.210 --> 00:56:40.140 Karol Ward: Yes, K.

00:56:40.170 --> 00:56:41.820 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: ra or excuse me.

00:56:42.270 --> 00:56:42.840 Karol Ward: So right.

00:56:43.320 --> 00:56:58.290 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: They get the dyslexic days, these days, anyway, thank you so much Carol I wish you, you know much success and and it was a pleasure to reconnect and know i'd be happy to have you come back in the future, at some time.

00:56:58.710 --> 00:57:00.660 Karol Ward: My pleasure so i'm happy to come back.

00:57:00.930 --> 00:57:05.700 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Okay wonderful and and thank you, my loyal listeners for tuning in today I hope.

00:57:06.420 --> 00:57:12.660 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: This helped to give you some ideas of building your confidence and just being aware of what's affecting your confidence and.

00:57:13.200 --> 00:57:21.780 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: I hope you will, if you missed any part of today's show make sure to catch us either on the recordings afterwards on talk radio dot nyc.

00:57:22.020 --> 00:57:35.790 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: Or you can find us on all of the major podcasting platforms apple Google stitcher spotify Pandora I heart radio we're everywhere, so please check it out, and please don't keep us a secret.

00:57:36.540 --> 00:57:43.380 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: please feel free to share this episode with your friends your family people you know your colleagues who you think might benefit from this.

00:57:43.950 --> 00:57:56.700 Sam Liebowitz, The Conscious Consultant: episode next week, we have another amazing guest you're going to have to stay tuned to find out who it is because I don't have my notes in front of me right now, thank you all for tuning in we will talk to you next week.

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