Ginger Johnson is an expert at utilizing the power of connection. As a species, we crave connection. As creatures we require connection to build the lives and careers and various undertakings we endeavor.
We'll be exploring how Ginger sees this because as a speaker and trainer - Ginger has a unique opportunity to engage and observe. As an author, Ginger can provoke thought with titles such as:
The episode opens with host Graham Dobbin discussing the importance of connection, and how humans in general tend to crave it. Graham introduces the episode’s guest, Ginger Johnson. Johnson discusses her book, “How To Market Beer to Women: Don’t Sell Me A Pink Hammer”, in which she discusses how certain products and marketing for objects, like hardware or beer, are generally marketed for men, and poorly aimed at women. She continues to speak on what drove her to research how to sell and market beer to women, which opened up larger discussions on the disconnect in marketing and manufacturing certain products to women.
The second segment opens with Johnson speaking about how she got into the hardware business, revealing the deeper meaning beneath her position. Throughout her series of other jobs, education has been the continuous spread connecting each. Once realizing what business she was meant to start, she discusses how she had to connect her current life to the life that she wanted to live. She discusses the importance of completely expunging the idea of “soft skills”. Johnson reveals examples of when people finally connect to their true purpose in what they value, and if that aligns what the life that you are currently executing. When one’s team does their best work, they are truly connected to what they do.
The next segment continues the conversation on the general “why” that one may ask themselves. She stresses the importance of how everything is up to the individual and that change is a mindset that is in their hands. They speak on how it may be easier to serve others than ourselves, however that type of mentality is extremely dangerous. Johnson shares that when one may think that they have to put someone in front of themselves, that they should not and to instead continue to serve themselves. She explains that confidence is a skill and when we exercise that musical, it gets stronger with the right training, you will never be able to lose it.
The final segment opens with a conversation on the importance of confidence, and how it may be a complex issue. She speaks on how arrogance is a repellent, but how arrogance is different from confidence. Johnson speaks of her experiences as a professional dinner party host and how, when one sees their name on a table, and how once they see that number they begin to hope that they belong. This hope for belonging is part of the importance of connection in human life. In these dinner parties, Johnson hopes she helps teams do their best work in a relaxed environment.
00:00:31.770 --> 00:00:38.610 Graham Dobbin: Good evening and welcome to the mind behind leadership here live on talk radio dot nyc live from New York City.
00:00:39.150 --> 00:00:45.630 Graham Dobbin: But i'm alive from Sydney in Australia second week in quantity and anyone listening last week, think about all the things that you've done.
00:00:46.290 --> 00:00:51.540 Graham Dobbin: And i've been in the same room so connections be top of mind.
00:00:51.900 --> 00:01:01.710 Graham Dobbin: got i've got ginger laughing already so connections been top of mind for me know, in the last year has been really strange we've got the technology to connect when using it know whether it be.
00:01:02.100 --> 00:01:08.190 Graham Dobbin: A on Facebook live visual where you're listening to it through the podcast and then that's not always enough.
00:01:08.730 --> 00:01:19.710 Graham Dobbin: we're going to do this evening or this morning for me is explore why it's so important, what happens when we don't have it, and the magic that comes when we do it properly.
00:01:20.250 --> 00:01:28.710 Graham Dobbin: Never so much of a cliff proper connects with people were just talking off air there's a likelihood i'm going to run around Sydney hugging everybody meet tomorrow, when I get home.
00:01:29.190 --> 00:01:37.620 Graham Dobbin: i'm really delighted that we have this evening ginger john's know ginger let's just get a bit of a background here gingers a connection expert.
00:01:38.010 --> 00:01:46.710 Graham Dobbin: And ginger organizes and runs communities facilitates a series of master classes and is a professional dinner party host I think I got that right.
00:01:47.250 --> 00:01:53.550 Graham Dobbin: I ginger also has the connectors academy now a couple of things jumped out, and when I was doing a little bit of research for this.
00:01:53.970 --> 00:02:08.160 Graham Dobbin: A quote here let's listen to this one as a species, we crave connection as creatures, we require connection to build the lives and careers and various undertakings that we endeavor so we'll maybe dig into that one a little bit later also ginger.
00:02:09.330 --> 00:02:25.050 Graham Dobbin: talks about makes a bold statement there's a direct link with leadership connectors are leaders and ginger is also the author of three books which rather Intriguingly to have beer in the title ginger good evening.
00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:28.950 Graham Dobbin: Good morning, good morning good morning for me.
00:02:30.270 --> 00:02:38.250 Graham Dobbin: You do know i'm going to slip into that every now and again i'm going to say good morning got the sunlight from darling harbour splitting through the through the.
00:02:38.670 --> 00:02:41.100 Graham Dobbin: curtains the drapes i'm ginger.
00:02:42.150 --> 00:02:52.620 Graham Dobbin: An order, we can start off just trying to get a little bit of background, but there's something jumped up i've got to ask you what are your books is called how to market beer to women don't sell me a pink hammer.
00:02:54.150 --> 00:02:54.600 Graham Dobbin: Why.
00:02:56.550 --> 00:02:58.080 Graham Dobbin: Get back to that.
00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:00.480 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And we're gonna make some great cookies one of these days.
00:03:00.480 --> 00:03:00.660 Before.
00:03:03.600 --> 00:03:09.810 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: The book came about because I was studying this previous business.
00:03:10.890 --> 00:03:27.930 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Studying why more women didn't enjoy beer, and when I was in my hardware years working retail hardware every Christmas we would get these toolkits and the see my the expression on my face or maybe you can hear my voice, you can see my basic.
00:03:28.980 --> 00:03:40.680 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: toolkit so patronizing so craftily made it's really technical for really poorly made and we're trying to pawn something off on a population.
00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:44.520 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That is being insulted and being listen like.
00:03:44.820 --> 00:03:57.000 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Why does the color have anything to do with the quality it doesn't there's no such thing as gender and color we like to equate you know this grand like we as a species, we like to have dots to connect oh.
00:03:57.240 --> 00:04:06.360 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: it's pink it's female it's blue it's male That is ridiculous is saying grab you like pasta, because you're a man and I prefer rice because i'm a woman that's just flat out stupid.
00:04:06.690 --> 00:04:19.320 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So the don't tell me a thing Cameron my editor actually wanted that to be the first part, and so the subtitle it certainly gets people's attention look we're talking about it now, so that the whole concept is don't connect the wrong dots.
00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:22.110 Graham Dobbin: um.
00:04:23.760 --> 00:04:27.150 Graham Dobbin: Something like pink thing something a big pink This seems to trigger.
00:04:28.710 --> 00:04:38.970 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: yeah it's good it's kind of funny so that they're having an art background, and I do um I I did some digging into why.
00:04:39.690 --> 00:04:47.790 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: pink has been equated for female actually feminine but female that's a whole other conversation for another show.
00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:59.190 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: But the the idea of pink as a color what is that so we dug into my color theory and my art history background and so forth, I found out Graham that those favorite pink shirts you like to wear.
00:04:59.430 --> 00:05:00.630 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Still on that brother.
00:05:00.690 --> 00:05:09.000 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Because pink eight has nothing to do with gender let's make perfectly clear and pink is actually a derivation of red, which I am wearing today.
00:05:09.270 --> 00:05:09.780 Graham Dobbin: yeah and.
00:05:10.170 --> 00:05:25.170 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That color red color has stalwart Lee been seen as a color have great energy very intense energy passion fire and we equate read with things that are really lightness up and so.
00:05:25.500 --> 00:05:36.210 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: pink was originally the color of males the color of strength when we tried it all our men out to you know by honey glad to the battlefield and get you know lose your arm today kind of thing.
00:05:36.570 --> 00:05:48.060 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So the paint came from that and, in fact, to go a little deeper at one time the HALO around the baby Jesus in art, first of all, was only legal to.
00:05:49.380 --> 00:06:01.590 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: idolatrous in works artworks for a long time for millennia millennia only religious icons and the background was always blue that was actually the color.
00:06:02.130 --> 00:06:13.290 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: of strength and not red, and so they just did a really interesting kind of meandering bunch of tributaries that we're choosing which ones, do we want to.
00:06:13.770 --> 00:06:20.490 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: paddle down but pink is pick a such a great color I chose to steer away from it, because there was so much.
00:06:21.330 --> 00:06:30.510 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: equation and missy equation now if your Barbie if you're Susan G komen if you're pepto bit small like that's your color that's great.
00:06:31.470 --> 00:06:41.490 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If it's not then don't pander it doesn't matter what color it is if you're not truly green energy don't use the green color green energy anyway so that's thanks for hitting that hot button.
00:06:44.280 --> 00:06:44.670 Graham Dobbin: well.
00:06:44.760 --> 00:06:45.060 Graham Dobbin: There was.
00:06:45.180 --> 00:06:47.550 Graham Dobbin: It was complete control they're like.
00:06:50.130 --> 00:06:57.810 Graham Dobbin: The was looking at with positive aspect, then market be have to women find beer, for what specific you unify shadow is this these issues thing.
00:06:58.590 --> 00:06:59.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Not anymore.
00:06:59.670 --> 00:07:10.620 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: No, and it was never it was never about what kind of beer women enjoy gram or drink there's a difference between enjoyment and drinking huge difference i'm a word nerd.
00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:16.260 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Word know there's a difference between quarantine and isolation true yes.
00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:17.940 Graham Dobbin: The moment no.
00:07:21.570 --> 00:07:24.390 Graham Dobbin: Absolutely, yes, absolutely no be nice way.
00:07:24.960 --> 00:07:26.970 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: there's difference between tourism and traveling there's a.
00:07:26.970 --> 00:07:34.530 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: difference between eating and feeding there's like all kinds of differences in words, and I saw that there was a big difference.
00:07:35.520 --> 00:07:45.240 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: In what was going on and I realized like I wanted to know why we why fully the majority of our species.
00:07:45.870 --> 00:07:51.510 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: wasn't engaging what was that about that was the question that drove that business is really a marketing company.
00:07:52.050 --> 00:07:59.280 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And I ended up doing a lot of qualitative research, I still have proprietary research that nobody else had done has done.
00:07:59.670 --> 00:08:06.930 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And I really wanted to know like what was underneath that and so, but for the record I do know what kind of beer women like.
00:08:07.380 --> 00:08:17.520 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And it's not what anybody really thinks if somebody wants to know they're going to have to reach out to me individually it's not what I focus on anymore what informed Graham was how to ask better questions.
00:08:17.790 --> 00:08:25.710 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: How to think about something how to look at something from literally face value, and then say what's really going on here.
00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:40.680 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And what What can we learn from that, what is the connection, what is the disconnection, how do we improve how do we grow, how do we learn to best address the different elements of life different people in life.
00:08:42.270 --> 00:08:48.690 Graham Dobbin: It sounds like you're looking connection in lots of different levels, most people that I speak to and we talked about connections that kind of talk about how to humans.
00:08:49.230 --> 00:09:03.480 Graham Dobbin: interact with each other how they how they kind of find that common ground and maybe in groups, as well as maybe just not to individuals, it looks like you're looking for connections at all different levels for the awards for them, because, whether it be the fear.
00:09:04.110 --> 00:09:12.750 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Oh it's totally fair I just felt like bring it to the table, because when you're looking at life, it is not the one dimensional cobweb brand right.
00:09:12.840 --> 00:09:22.140 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's beautiful with drops on it, but the one that's in the corner like up there in the corner and that's all looking like a ball a corner that's called life.
00:09:22.860 --> 00:09:33.090 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We want it to be the one dimension oh Look, we can figure this out, no that's not life that's Disney So what we want to look for is that sticky cobweb as I call it.
00:09:33.390 --> 00:09:42.390 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And like what is how do we unfurl that, how do we get into that, how does the spider navigated life is so amazingly fascinating Graham.
00:09:42.840 --> 00:09:51.840 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And I want to help people I work with companies leaders teams to look at what are all these connections what's going on let's deconstruct it.
00:09:52.650 --> 00:10:02.880 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Like a big bunch of legos around the floor and then let's put it together how we want to put it together because it's like everything's possible it's not a good thing for me, I believe that and.
00:10:03.180 --> 00:10:20.460 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: everything in life we do and think and one is powered by some sort of connection some but dot a dot B or Z or double Q, whatever it is, and that's what's so interesting So yes, i'm looking at it very multi dimensionally for sure.
00:10:20.880 --> 00:10:26.370 Graham Dobbin: So that seems to me that innovation, creativity, except I don't absolutely must because we're looking.
00:10:27.660 --> 00:10:38.940 Graham Dobbin: i'm not going to see that not gonna say that phrase, but but looking at different places that we would not normally find the either the connection or the understanding of it, or what should be being said yes.
00:10:38.970 --> 00:10:44.820 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Yes, absolutely into the word that just came out in one of the words it just came out of your mouth was normal.
00:10:45.510 --> 00:10:48.630 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I the first zinger i'm going to give people get rid of that word.
00:10:49.140 --> 00:11:01.230 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Get rid of that word get like replace it with reality current reality something like that, when we're looking at connecting truly and deeply with ourselves first because I look at it as a three part model Graham itself team community.
00:11:01.530 --> 00:11:11.550 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: you decide what your team is you decide what your community is and some people say well my communities my clients okay fine my team is my family okay fine whatever It all starts with the.
00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:26.310 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: The Center of your own big bang and that's you you're your own son right and then what ripples out what radiates and then, how do you navigate that and it is profoundly meaningful on the words we use.
00:11:26.700 --> 00:11:35.460 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And what we are really trying to communicate it, and now I don't want people to listen to this cram think oh now i'm paralyzed now and i'm afraid to say anything or typed anything or.
00:11:35.460 --> 00:11:41.190 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We don't know don't know what we're talking about here we're talking about is being truly thought full.
00:11:42.150 --> 00:11:50.190 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: of what might that word mean what made that connection yield, what I want to give because connecting is a boomerang.
00:11:51.090 --> 00:11:56.370 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: we've got to throw it out there with intention that it's doing good in the world.
00:11:56.940 --> 00:12:09.390 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And it will come back in some way, shape or form when people like I don't like the word failure either Graham because I feel like people romanticizing that and thinking that that's a badge of honor I don't agree with that failure is, if you don't try.
00:12:11.520 --> 00:12:12.810 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: doesn't like the word failure either.
00:12:13.050 --> 00:12:15.930 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We either do, or you don't so yeah.
00:12:16.500 --> 00:12:16.890 yeah.
00:12:18.150 --> 00:12:21.120 Graham Dobbin: i'm going to bore you just for a moment and i'm gonna.
00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:24.240 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: i'm gonna get this off my chest, I was.
00:12:24.780 --> 00:12:31.020 Graham Dobbin: Running I was running a program yeah by the end of their where you're going to see you, you did really well in boring me.
00:12:31.410 --> 00:12:41.310 Graham Dobbin: um I was running a program with them with BMW yesterday from here, so I was connecting was connecting virtually and one of the stories that came up with just what you mentioned was legal.
00:12:42.180 --> 00:12:47.160 Graham Dobbin: And this is one of those everybody kind of knows about the stories about blockbusters and Kodak and.
00:12:47.550 --> 00:12:57.150 Graham Dobbin: All these companies that didn't innovate didn't look to connect I think that a lot in connection there just like to stay in their own world and it feeling Lego was failing in the late 90s.
00:12:58.020 --> 00:13:10.080 Graham Dobbin: and change them and one of the ways that they changed it was by getting small teams together getting small communities getting them to be innovative getting them to drive and change that they could control themselves.
00:13:10.860 --> 00:13:25.530 Graham Dobbin: And you know with a boarding the long story we look at some of the platforms are up and running, like Google and everything and I found the photographs yesterday that are taken in Google, two years ago, I was working in the office don't at Chelsea and.
00:13:26.610 --> 00:13:39.030 Graham Dobbin: Google in the encourage their employees to use Lego as a way of being creative and connecting with each other so Gallego models everywhere we got plastic brick.
00:13:39.660 --> 00:13:50.340 Graham Dobbin: which has been around forever of a sudden, is the thing that's actually helping people create know, sometimes I told you, it was boring but just find a really interesting that the.
00:13:50.940 --> 00:13:56.160 Graham Dobbin: company was almost feeling just an empowered the teams empowered individuals.
00:13:56.610 --> 00:14:02.490 Graham Dobbin: To go away and just be creative find a different way of doing things, how can you work together, how can you bring people into this.
00:14:02.940 --> 00:14:14.370 Graham Dobbin: And by doing that the time that rank really, really quickly it's probably one of the one of the biggest unknown stories and regarded as one of the greeters corporate timelines ever it makes.
00:14:15.780 --> 00:14:25.650 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It makes perfect sense, because what you're doing is you're giving people a level playing field there's very little opportunity in life, where that is true, is true equity here everybody gets the brick.
00:14:25.890 --> 00:14:43.290 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Everybody everybody has a way that they think they can use it so that's brilliant it makes perfect sense like start with the granular level don't dumb it down bring it bring it down start with something that's everybody can work with think about late participated.
00:14:44.340 --> 00:14:55.440 Graham Dobbin: And it, I think the big thing there is some things that people were forced the new CEOs What if what if he's for schools, was would on a burning platform we're not going to survive this therefore let's try something different.
00:14:56.250 --> 00:14:59.460 Graham Dobbin: And officers and then what we're going to go for a break, when we come back.
00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:09.960 Graham Dobbin: I want to know how you came from and what you did you mentioned hardware you mentioned an art background and how how did you come from there to do what you're doing now and.
00:15:10.500 --> 00:15:22.290 Graham Dobbin: kind of the real practical aspects of what's in the commercial world and you're listening to mind behind leadership we have ginger Johnson on here live on talk radio dot nyc we'll be back after these.
00:18:25.230 --> 00:18:30.000 Graham Dobbin: you seek to define leadership live on talk radio dot nyc we're.
00:18:30.060 --> 00:18:32.280 Graham Dobbin: gonna have to have a dance competition for.
00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:36.240 Graham Dobbin: I think you would be number one.
00:18:39.660 --> 00:18:41.100 Graham Dobbin: To the theme tune.
00:18:41.610 --> 00:18:41.880 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If I.
00:18:42.540 --> 00:18:43.890 need to do they mentioned.
00:18:45.720 --> 00:18:52.530 Graham Dobbin: And i'm gonna have to thank you, I don't know if you realize that she mentioned the connecting as a boomerang Thank you very much for mentioning that but i'm sitting in Australia.
00:18:55.080 --> 00:19:00.780 Graham Dobbin: talk to me talk to me talk to me, you mentioned earlier that you, you sold hardware.
00:19:01.740 --> 00:19:03.780 Graham Dobbin: Did you go from.
00:19:04.350 --> 00:19:07.950 Graham Dobbin: How did you go from selling selling hardware something's pink.
00:19:09.900 --> 00:19:14.430 Graham Dobbin: Having the connectors academy hug being a professional dinner party host.
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:20.070 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: wow there's even one step before that, too, I taught middle school Graham and you know you're welcome.
00:19:20.940 --> 00:19:32.490 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: But it has not for everybody, I got into hardware, like the whole inception story that I often start my keynotes with the brief story is I went in with a broken rake handle and I walked out with a job.
00:19:33.030 --> 00:19:40.950 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: and hardware is such a connecting point Graham because people come into a hardware store there's five names for everything.
00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:53.580 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And they're trying to connect their own dots to make something work in their life it's so it's so powerful so that that picture hammer thing it's not about the picture it's about them, looking at a loved one or a scene.
00:19:54.630 --> 00:20:08.040 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That makes them feel good it's a it's a connection point and and then I get I was a firefighter actually I bread store all kinds of different things, and what i've realized Graham and what I have in my activity can and my book.
00:20:09.270 --> 00:20:14.430 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Is that education is my golden thread I would challenge everybody who's listening right now.
00:20:14.820 --> 00:20:25.830 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: at any point to think what has been that continuous thread throughout your life what ties, all these experiences together what is the connecting tissue.
00:20:26.670 --> 00:20:32.850 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And it's education for me so hardware helping people live the life, they want to live fixing their snow blowers helping them with their.
00:20:33.120 --> 00:20:43.020 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: With their you know plumbing whatever it is, bread store getting people, something that fits their diet their desire their taste buds middle school helping kids who sometimes are never seen.
00:20:43.350 --> 00:20:52.500 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: realize that they're worth it, and that they're amazing and this doesn't have to be these pre texts and labels and with women and beer I, it was the connection of.
00:20:52.950 --> 00:20:59.730 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: There was a disconnect and I wanted to figure out where where was the plug where was the receptacle and now with human connection oh.
00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:09.210 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I love this so much ground because it ties everything together and I, I consider the shift to your original inception on this question door i'll get there.
00:21:09.870 --> 00:21:23.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Is that I I started turning a supertanker like think about your life as a supertanker when you look as you look into darling harbour there's some large ships out there, like that those don't turn like my jeep wrangler.
00:21:24.390 --> 00:21:30.990 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: they're not a skateboard you don't flip it and go the other way in a big hurry your life is a big construct.
00:21:31.530 --> 00:21:37.680 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It doesn't mean that you can't turn it, but it means that when you are truly thinking about what are you deeply connected with what would you like to be.
00:21:38.070 --> 00:21:44.460 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Connected with WHO why all these big great questions I call the pro seven those who, what, why where, how and which.
00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:55.560 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Then I look at it as a supertanker Graham and we we shift and and the radius is is definite but sometimes it's slower movement than we either want.
00:21:55.890 --> 00:22:08.370 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Sometimes it's faster than we want, and if I think about it that way i'm a very visual thinker clearly I like that analogy, because when we give ourselves time grace and space to really think about something.
00:22:09.420 --> 00:22:19.350 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It is that going to be a good thing for me not to perfection that's a fool's errand but to participation level, just like when you move to New York yeah.
00:22:19.590 --> 00:22:23.010 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Okay yeah We liked it there were some there's a whole bunch of things that fit.
00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:30.690 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: there's always going to be stuff that doesn't fit and that doesn't connect but don't dwell on that unless it's truly significant and if it is then you shouldn't be there to begin with.
00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:39.930 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: The training that supertanker for me was how I shifted to human connection and I realized from the second I realized that that was my thing.
00:22:41.130 --> 00:22:48.660 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I knew it intuitively like oh yeah, this is what it is, and then I realized as a business person like probably a lot of people listening.
00:22:49.110 --> 00:22:58.260 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: How do I then build my life around that my business is a lifestyle business, I want to live the LIFE I want to live I love my work, I love my business.
00:22:59.040 --> 00:23:09.360 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So turning that supertanker Okay, we got a different different planes coming on to the landing deck and what does that look like I don't know if planes land on supertankers but anyway doesn't matter about force.
00:23:09.720 --> 00:23:10.470 Graham Dobbin: sure this happens.
00:23:10.860 --> 00:23:14.910 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Right yeah it's gonna happen somebody's gonna land somewhere in the seagulls at a minimum.
00:23:15.450 --> 00:23:25.440 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And, and if you think about your life that way and think what do I really want to be connected with then turn your supertanker till you reach that compass point and go that's what it's been for me.
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.940 Graham Dobbin: and potentially going to be a little bit controversial here.
00:23:33.060 --> 00:23:38.700 Graham Dobbin: Not not not not agenda controversial or grim controversial and this could be seen as fluffy.
00:23:39.480 --> 00:23:55.740 Graham Dobbin: This could be seen as kind of out there when you take it into business or you're asking business people, you mentioned, business people you take into commercial when we're working with teams, etc, how did you bring home to get the awareness of people to access this point.
00:23:56.940 --> 00:24:01.320 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: so glad you asked this scram for the record y'all listen up.
00:24:02.670 --> 00:24:03.630 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: This is your.
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:04.650 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: i'll be all.
00:24:07.020 --> 00:24:08.580 Graham Dobbin: Serious, this is just a CBS.
00:24:11.220 --> 00:24:12.630 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: got on the sides my head oh it's got.
00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:25.620 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: These skills human connection communication interpersonal they are not soft skills, please expunge that i'm going to ask you nicely once.
00:24:26.100 --> 00:24:34.470 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: expunged that from your vernacular they are the hardest skills, they are the ones that teams and leaders CEOs directors volunteer coordinators.
00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:41.760 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Parents all of us, they are the ones we value the most So if I ask one thing of you precious listener.
00:24:42.390 --> 00:24:56.610 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Get rid of the idea permanently once and for all flush it down whatever toilet is closest there is no such thing as soft skills that's bs i'm not going to swear because it sounds radio show program, but I think that that.
00:24:57.870 --> 00:25:02.730 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Is a huge miss service and connection has so much to do with words and language, Graham.
00:25:03.090 --> 00:25:11.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And that is the things that I love to blow out of the sky, with a double barrel shotgun because, once we start categorizing skills.
00:25:11.970 --> 00:25:19.260 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We are on a downward slope into the muck that we don't want to be in what we want to do is think what are the skills overall.
00:25:19.770 --> 00:25:28.860 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: interpersonal skills technical skills mechanical skills mathematics skills communication skills like put them all on deck of that supertanker.
00:25:29.340 --> 00:25:33.690 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So I love that you brought this up and a lot of people like that it's a soft skill like no bullshit.
00:25:34.200 --> 00:25:42.090 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: There I said okay it's it's not a soft skill it's one of the hardest one So how do we, how do you like essentially sell this well, first of all I don't sell.
00:25:42.360 --> 00:25:54.240 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It people either want to work with me or they don't i'm value based and if i'm there person great it's not about hourly it's not about well what will my team get you know what the students will get what the students.
00:25:54.750 --> 00:26:11.370 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: activate it part of my growth model is an activation section and you got to ignite yourself, you got to activate your skills learn those skills final skill seek them out integrate them practice them get better at them at continue to ask for help and then what you do is you excel.
00:26:12.630 --> 00:26:23.760 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So those these human connection skills are fundamental, they are essential and there's so much fun when you start thinking about what's possible.
00:26:25.110 --> 00:26:26.400 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So that's the powder keg.
00:26:26.610 --> 00:26:27.150 Graham Dobbin: But what is.
00:26:29.070 --> 00:26:30.180 Graham Dobbin: This This may be a like a.
00:26:30.330 --> 00:26:35.430 Graham Dobbin: Like a ridiculous with huge question, we can you give us some examples of what you've seen.
00:26:35.850 --> 00:26:36.540 Graham Dobbin: When when.
00:26:36.630 --> 00:26:39.720 Graham Dobbin: When you know when people actually get it when they.
00:26:39.750 --> 00:26:44.700 Graham Dobbin: just get it when you're working with them level by never got it what changes, what happens.
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:52.290 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Yes, yes, I will absolutely do that so imagine yourself in a room full of colleagues, you may be met some of these people, maybe you haven't.
00:26:53.010 --> 00:27:08.340 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: you're sitting at a table pretty conventional pre coven you know conference breakout room business meeting sales session, whatever it is, and somebody comes in and has the audacity to say you know why are you really here big y capital w.
00:27:09.480 --> 00:27:22.200 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And for the first time in your life something it's like the Velvet two by four as I call it slap you upside the head you think holy buckets Why am I here, why is my butt's on this Chair at Tuesday at 10:08pm.
00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:27.210 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And i'm still in this meeting Why am I here you better have a good answer for yourself.
00:27:27.900 --> 00:27:39.270 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Because if you know why you're there you're there to do your level best you're there because you love this team you're there because this work moves you, because who you serve changes the world like, whatever your because is.
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:50.010 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If you don't know your why your alignment of being where you're at i'm going to give you so much, love and saying go figure it out find somebody that's what I helped a lot of teams and leaders figure out.
00:27:50.850 --> 00:27:58.620 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: What is, what are your values and your vision and is that in alignment with what your what your execution is quite frankly.
00:27:59.220 --> 00:28:08.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If you don't know that you have an effective team, you have people who don't want to be there, they do halfway work, if anything, and maybe it's the leader, maybe it's a team Member doesn't matter.
00:28:08.970 --> 00:28:14.790 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We are home we some of us have been in that position or like my heart's not really in it that same.
00:28:15.810 --> 00:28:24.510 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Listen to that when you hear somebody say that pay attention there's a look to that they're not all in they show up late they call it really big all kinds of things.
00:28:24.990 --> 00:28:34.500 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: When we your teams do your best work our teams do our best work when we're on a team, we do our best work when we truly feel connected Graham I know you know this.
00:28:34.950 --> 00:28:45.420 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: For anybody listening if you've got somebody on your team, who is not truly connected, now is the time to go to them and say look I love you I support you, you didn't find something else, I can tell this as an effect.
00:28:45.660 --> 00:28:52.530 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's going to do one or two things they're either going to that person is going to pull me back at somebody finally sees me, maybe there's a reset or.
00:28:53.940 --> 00:28:58.740 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Finally, somebody is giving me the permission that I wanted to give myself to go and find a better connection.
00:29:00.600 --> 00:29:02.640 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So tell me if there's anything soft about that.
00:29:03.210 --> 00:29:03.510 i'm.
00:29:04.830 --> 00:29:08.010 Graham Dobbin: going to go to a break in a moment, I find it quite interesting that i'm.
00:29:09.060 --> 00:29:12.900 Graham Dobbin: regularly in business and i've seen it so many times it's happened to be as well that.
00:29:13.860 --> 00:29:26.070 Graham Dobbin: We get on that wheel we're in the meetings with doing all these different things, and then something happens with the business or the job corps and you let go it's happened to me before.
00:29:26.850 --> 00:29:35.580 Graham Dobbin: And the initial is the panic of not being there and then it's the release because my guess is we didn't actually know why we were there in the first place, it was kind of just as a functional part.
00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:41.130 Graham Dobbin: of what we do when we come back from the break, I just want to dig into this fire a little bit more because.
00:29:42.240 --> 00:29:51.750 Graham Dobbin: A lot of talk about why no i'm curious about fear people call when you ask that question because i've got my own theory to it about.
00:29:52.230 --> 00:30:06.060 Graham Dobbin: People go to do for themselves or for others and then How did we get that connection you're listening to talk radio dot nyc the mind behind leadership we're live here with ginger Johnson and we're going deep after the break.
00:32:58.380 --> 00:33:02.070 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mckean behind leadership ginger raising the bar.
00:33:02.460 --> 00:33:03.060 With dancing.
00:33:04.170 --> 00:33:07.050 Graham Dobbin: I am not, I am not too early in the morning coming.
00:33:09.210 --> 00:33:09.690 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I like that.
00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:12.180 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I like that.
00:33:15.060 --> 00:33:17.400 Graham Dobbin: i've got it next to my Yankees hat as well, which are just really.
00:33:21.120 --> 00:33:21.630 Graham Dobbin: i'm.
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:23.310 Graham Dobbin: The question.
00:33:23.820 --> 00:33:40.170 Graham Dobbin: We said before the big question the fly with a capital w Why am I here quickly i'm curious where do people normally go and ask that question and your experience Where do they normally go what kind of answers to be gap.
00:33:43.950 --> 00:33:45.300 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: it's a really.
00:33:48.480 --> 00:34:04.770 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: magical experience Graham when somebody truly let themselves be open and willing to think about their why to discover their why to have somebody to let somebody in frankly to let them think about their why I.
00:34:05.910 --> 00:34:16.680 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Dozens of people have cried rose when I have brought that exercise up because they are so it's not because i'm stepping on their toe or making them feel bad all the sudden it's it's this release.
00:34:17.340 --> 00:34:25.020 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Of oh my gosh it's it's the goosebumps it's a shoulder drops and and it's the feeling that finally.
00:34:26.040 --> 00:34:33.780 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Finally, however, old they are in their early 20s late 70s anything in between any make model color size, shape whatever.
00:34:34.650 --> 00:34:49.020 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That they're given a space to say oh my gosh now is the moment i'm going to think about this, because the alternative of not thinking about it, Graham not being cognizant to this precious life that's either really short or really long, whichever way you slice it.
00:34:50.700 --> 00:34:56.280 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Like it's totally in your control you're in command of your life, you are at the wheel of that super tanker.
00:34:56.700 --> 00:35:06.990 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And you get to decide, so what happens the reaction is are very there's a lot of very visceral emotion, there are you know I can see the light bulbs.
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:16.440 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: metaphorically going off and people are looking in their eyes are big because you can you can get the bubble above their head, you can put in Oh, whatever you want to put in.
00:35:16.980 --> 00:35:30.300 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Some people still remain on willing still going to love them up anyway they're they're not willing to go there, because it is, it is moving I think about his perfect scenario say you're a six figure C suite.
00:35:31.170 --> 00:35:36.810 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: executive and you get challenged by this question and you're thinking.
00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:47.100 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Now i've got my own mouth to feed perhaps others I, like my lifestyle, I, like my this I, like my that so that in air quotes we said, have a good job, I have a good life.
00:35:47.850 --> 00:35:54.390 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: i'm okay really okay i'm just still have them up again yet i'm thinking that's.
00:35:55.260 --> 00:36:05.010 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Truly unfortunate that we're not willing to let ourselves grow and change nothing in life stays the same and instead of thinking of changes change Graham I like to call it growth.
00:36:05.670 --> 00:36:11.400 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Because if again if you're the CEO and i'm one of your minions and you say okay people we're going to have a change model like.
00:36:12.360 --> 00:36:19.020 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Take a flying leap their own leader, as opposed to say you know we're gonna do some growth work like okay i'm going to be more receptive to that.
00:36:19.410 --> 00:36:26.700 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I want to grow, or at least I think I want I wanted to let you know that I feel like I want to grow it's mindset again right so i'm.
00:36:27.330 --> 00:36:37.590 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Waiting there let's see how much it takes the reactions are very broad raising the vast majority of people who recognize that it's truly a safe space and i'm giving them.
00:36:38.490 --> 00:36:49.800 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: will go ahead and start rethinking and then the after effects oh my gosh Graham if I could show you some of the comments that people email me or text me or send me in cards and notes.
00:36:50.400 --> 00:36:55.950 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: wow that change, I never thought about it that way, that was a sea change like.
00:36:56.310 --> 00:37:05.400 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's what i'm focusing on now, thank you so much, and i'm thinking, first of all i'm super grateful that they make that gesture, because it's it's important that we know that our work matters.
00:37:05.910 --> 00:37:13.560 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And hearing one of those people speak up speaks volumes for all the others that they have chosen to grow and change.
00:37:15.120 --> 00:37:19.920 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: In the space that we have given them it's it's incredibly powerful.
00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:21.390 Graham Dobbin: i'm.
00:37:23.910 --> 00:37:28.650 Graham Dobbin: wondering, I mean i've asked this question before I you hear that.
00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:34.860 Graham Dobbin: It always surprises me how many people go to a reason for other people rather than themselves.
00:37:36.180 --> 00:37:38.100 Graham Dobbin: The talk about others.
00:37:38.460 --> 00:37:38.850 Graham Dobbin: Rather than.
00:37:38.910 --> 00:37:42.540 Graham Dobbin: what's the personal reason is that something you've experienced.
00:37:42.990 --> 00:37:44.760 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It is why do you think that is Graham.
00:37:45.390 --> 00:37:48.360 Graham Dobbin: I don't know I don't know i'm asking the questions here is my show.
00:37:53.190 --> 00:38:00.780 Graham Dobbin: I think sometimes it's actually easier to sell brothers and serve ourselves it's sometimes easier to think about others and kind of.
00:38:01.170 --> 00:38:15.030 Graham Dobbin: We get a slight pleasure that rather than rather than look after ourselves first you know the old adage of put your own oxygen mask on first but I genuinely think it's such as it's it will we brought our own to.
00:38:15.420 --> 00:38:22.920 Graham Dobbin: You we're here to do things for others or my job is to look after the kids so family or or a dog or a pet we've got.
00:38:23.340 --> 00:38:23.700 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: we've got.
00:38:25.650 --> 00:38:26.220 Graham Dobbin: we've got.
00:38:27.390 --> 00:38:38.670 Graham Dobbin: And you know that's what feels like for me this kind of on this, the easy answer, because then I don't need to go deep I don't really need to consider whether it's right for me.
00:38:39.270 --> 00:38:51.330 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That is the goal rather right there it's oh i'm not ready to do the self discovery i'm not willing to do the self discovery it's easier it's quicker it's faster, I can answer and they can move along to somebody else I.
00:38:51.390 --> 00:38:51.870 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Also, know.
00:38:52.890 --> 00:39:01.890 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That we have conditioned ourselves to think that we have to put others in front of ourselves and I absolutely disagree with that because there's no way.
00:39:02.430 --> 00:39:09.900 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That we can take care of other people, unless we take care of ourselves first and the biggest part of that is acknowledging where we are at personally.
00:39:10.290 --> 00:39:21.420 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Personally, how many people resent years of their life we're lucky if it's weeks or months like you're in a job you don't like you're in a marriage you're going to whatever you don't like this, what you're in control of that.
00:39:22.050 --> 00:39:35.010 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: You get to make a choice and sometimes we pull the martyr card or we think Oh well, i'll just stick it out or it'll get better or we justify it we don't and when we do that we haven't truly looked at the core of what drives us forward so.
00:39:35.970 --> 00:39:44.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Please dear listener, when you feel like you have to put somebody else first don't you'll get to them, but you've got to.
00:39:44.250 --> 00:39:46.230 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Take care of your first years ago I saw.
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:54.360 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: A woman who is she was senior VP of mcdonald's and she was on a panel, I spoke at the national restaurant association.
00:39:54.750 --> 00:39:58.020 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Several years back, and she was on this panel with other a couple other luminaries and.
00:39:58.470 --> 00:40:04.860 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: She said look i'm going to say something that's not real popular I say it, because this is, who I am, and this is what I believe i'm first.
00:40:05.610 --> 00:40:15.360 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And then my family and then my customers, and so we like for parents there's an expectation that you would put your kid first and I actually find it very refreshing Graham when people say actually.
00:40:16.350 --> 00:40:24.630 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: i'm going to go first because i'm going to put my helmet on before I helped him and it's the classic oxygen mask dropping right you literally can't help other people well.
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:34.260 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: You can muddle through it, you can suffer through it, but really nobody wants to hang out with you cuz you're going to be a suffer and a martyr and a complainer and then that's where you start getting.
00:40:34.890 --> 00:40:39.540 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: ulcers and bad sleep patterns like it manifests in so many ways, so.
00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:48.930 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: it's so much better and wiser and healthier and safer well being mental emotional spiritual everything to say look i'm going to reconcile i'm going to dress i'm going to.
00:40:49.650 --> 00:41:05.550 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: wrestle this dragon first and, frankly, Graham it's smoother I will see it's easier it's not as hard as people think it is because and there's a couple keys to that it's really a simplistic process.
00:41:06.030 --> 00:41:11.160 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If you're willing to do it i'm not saying that everything is easy easy as different than simple yeah.
00:41:11.430 --> 00:41:25.860 Graham Dobbin: Absolutely, I mean I one of the things I talked about is is is really to learn ourselves to be appropriately selfish just be appropriately selfish it doesn't mean because because we've we've got that that slight selfishness about it doesn't mean this against anybody else.
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:29.100 Graham Dobbin: If we do it the right way.
00:41:29.670 --> 00:41:30.690 Graham Dobbin: Yes, then.
00:41:32.130 --> 00:41:33.990 Graham Dobbin: everybody's going to benefit I.
00:41:35.310 --> 00:41:40.470 Graham Dobbin: Coming to look after ourselves, you mentioned that your business model was about being value based.
00:41:41.250 --> 00:41:46.140 Graham Dobbin: You can review your value is this going to work, is this the kind of thing that I want and i'm.
00:41:46.920 --> 00:42:00.690 Graham Dobbin: Getting from what you said, is this the type of projects, I want to work with these are the type of people, I want to work with it, am I going to get some fulfillment over i'm going to make a huge assumption here to me that takes a lot of confidence.
00:42:01.770 --> 00:42:22.440 Graham Dobbin: You can't sell you don't sell it just takes a lot of confidence in yourself in your abilities and if this doesn't come around another opportunity will hey did you build that if i'm right, it is how did you get to that point that you didn't have to chase the next piece of business.
00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:27.570 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's true that's a good pandora's box, my friend.
00:42:29.880 --> 00:42:38.460 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I am really fortunate, I had a incredibly solid upbringing, and that is not everything, as an adult it is something.
00:42:39.060 --> 00:42:46.110 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And even if you haven't had a good upbringing, you can reconcile that you can move past that so I know that that's a bedrock for me.
00:42:46.500 --> 00:42:56.940 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And to be fully transparent to the audience like my relationships my family now are completely different i'm not saying they're bad or anything that they are completely different, they are some of them are not as I wish they were.
00:42:57.390 --> 00:43:03.750 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And i'm saying that I came from, something that was solid and I was able to have a really strong self worth and i'm free i've maintained that.
00:43:04.080 --> 00:43:08.100 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And the relationships I focused on and putting the energy in the connections i've built.
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:15.210 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And the disconnections that i've made have been focused on look I got I got one of me.
00:43:15.540 --> 00:43:25.200 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And there's billions of others how am I going to do my level best in this moment with what I know as well as tapping into other people, I trust, not the people are going to say yes to me.
00:43:25.500 --> 00:43:36.180 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that the people who, I trust, are going to say listen Johnson that idea that's you know crazy batches like change it or think about that, like i'm going to listen to the people who care about me.
00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:49.200 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Just like i'm going to be there for them, so the confidence is a skill to wrap this up and competence is a skill and when we exercise that muscle it gets stronger and when we have the right training.
00:43:49.890 --> 00:43:55.560 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: He gets stronger and stronger so pretty soon it's unshakable i'm not arrogant i'm confident those two are different things.
00:43:56.520 --> 00:44:05.490 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: and strength is that golden thread and they're like I want to be strong, because I want to serve I love to serve that's, as you know, to that's magnetic.
00:44:05.820 --> 00:44:18.690 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: On a business, then when people see somebody who's like wow I want to work with them, because what they want is that positive energy they want that to come around they want to soak that up and absorb that like I want some of that because I want to be arriving on that level.
00:44:20.190 --> 00:44:22.440 Graham Dobbin: Well we're gonna do today.
00:44:24.060 --> 00:44:26.640 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Our grand we got really lucky cram in here.
00:44:27.600 --> 00:44:35.220 Graham Dobbin: we're speaking with ginger Johnson you're listening to the main leadership arrive and talk radio dot nyc and we're going to go to a break at the moment we're just going to.
00:44:35.820 --> 00:44:38.340 Graham Dobbin: quick question again and confidence when we come back just about.
00:44:38.670 --> 00:44:48.210 Graham Dobbin: Why is it you mentioned what that again, why is it seen sometimes as being out again what's what's people's fear about someone else being confident and I want to, I want to explore this dinner party that you do.
00:44:49.170 --> 00:45:00.540 Graham Dobbin: When when we spoke when we spoke off air you came up with this great analogy about that table that we set up in the difference when it's official or not i'm my name is Graham dobbin we'll be right back after these.
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:05.280 And my.
00:47:22.530 --> 00:47:22.710 Graham Dobbin: you're.
00:47:22.770 --> 00:47:24.360 Graham Dobbin: Listening to the bank behind leadership.
00:47:26.010 --> 00:47:39.540 Graham Dobbin: On talk radio, the nyc i'm one of the things we talked about emotional control, you know that moment when you're looking at the screen and about to come live on here and your computer says what i'm about to be star that's called emotional control.
00:47:43.710 --> 00:47:44.220 Graham Dobbin: wow.
00:47:46.680 --> 00:47:57.000 Graham Dobbin: We spoke, we spoke about confidence before and you mentioned the word that against hired to be think confidence is seen as arrogance at times and i'll just kind of.
00:47:58.020 --> 00:48:02.070 Graham Dobbin: stayed issue tonight is it feels like people are scared.
00:48:03.090 --> 00:48:05.790 Graham Dobbin: Of this, you know confident focus.
00:48:07.170 --> 00:48:13.800 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: yeah it's competence is is a magnet, as you know, a magnet has two poles.
00:48:15.120 --> 00:48:17.880 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And people both want.
00:48:19.260 --> 00:48:25.170 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Some people want to be pulled in some people want to run away and so.
00:48:25.770 --> 00:48:32.280 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I find that people who, for example, are not my people, and I still again i'm going to love them up all the same.
00:48:32.640 --> 00:48:38.460 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: i'm other people and i'm totally good with that that's a lesson for everybody who's listening don't force.
00:48:38.880 --> 00:48:43.590 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: People who aren't your people don't try to lead people who don't want to be lead.
00:48:44.010 --> 00:48:52.290 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Because there's something going on for them they're scared they're threatened they're not ready they're not willing willingness is way more powerful than readiness.
00:48:53.160 --> 00:49:08.820 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Willingness is a mindset readiness is like that's the that's the someday trap, so I find that people are like I had somebody this is interesting i've never shared this story before you heard it here on.
00:49:08.880 --> 00:49:09.660 Graham Dobbin: To somebody else.
00:49:09.720 --> 00:49:11.730 Graham Dobbin: Do you worry about justice.
00:49:12.360 --> 00:49:19.380 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I was accused of being a bully one time in an email by somebody I met at a conference after party.
00:49:20.160 --> 00:49:31.620 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And what this person described was like wow it was so interesting at the end of this very long email, it was the person said.
00:49:32.220 --> 00:49:38.700 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: By the way, don't contact me and I said that was so interesting Graham said that Okay, you want an event fine.
00:49:39.330 --> 00:49:42.390 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: you're also not willing to connect and have a conversation.
00:49:42.870 --> 00:49:55.620 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So there was clearly a threat that this person perceived and i'm not listening i'm not invalidating you know that person's emotions and feelings and reactions that's that person's it was totally unexpected I remember it totally different.
00:49:56.580 --> 00:50:03.690 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So when we say there's two sides to every story if there's two people there sure as heck is if there's more people you're talking about the rubik's cube and.
00:50:04.050 --> 00:50:16.650 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And not everybody wants to solve that rubik's cube not everybody wants to walk into that and say, I want to figure this out, in fact, very few people are willing to even be interested in figuring out that's where confidence can be.
00:50:17.340 --> 00:50:26.670 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: A repellent because somebody see somebody's confidence they might misinterpret it it's like volume or people saying extroverts oh extroverts can do anything like that's bs.
00:50:27.120 --> 00:50:36.420 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And, first of all don't hurt yourself don't label that's not helpful we don't need more labels titles, we like to label describe things no you're not.
00:50:36.810 --> 00:50:47.310 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So there's so much to that, clearly, as you can tell i'm rambling a little bit the arrogance is definitely repellent when I go into a doctor's office, they say, are you allergic to anything, and I say arrogance.
00:50:50.040 --> 00:50:51.750 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Because everyone's like oh yeah that's funny.
00:50:51.840 --> 00:50:52.830 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: it's true.
00:50:53.280 --> 00:50:55.560 Graham Dobbin: I don't think i'm stealing that one.
00:50:55.800 --> 00:50:58.650 Graham Dobbin: Right, it could give you credit, the first time.
00:50:58.770 --> 00:50:59.220 user.
00:51:00.690 --> 00:51:10.890 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: We go overboard and we think we're the experts like there's no such thing as somebody who knows it all we literally cannot know it all that should never be our goal frankly.
00:51:11.400 --> 00:51:19.980 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: let's think about what else can I learn about something think about it that way, instead, how can I up my connection skills, how can I be a better radio host.
00:51:20.190 --> 00:51:34.110 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: How can I build something better with legos what's one more thing I can do from BMW, you know, whatever it is incremental compounds that's the power of connection that's the power of humanity that's the power of everything.
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:39.330 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: When we back up and say i'm going to be confident in moving in one.
00:51:40.140 --> 00:51:47.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: One step at a time it's like a winter warlock and Rudolph shiny new year's one foot in front of the other I could sing that too, but i'm going to save that for another time.
00:51:47.790 --> 00:51:59.250 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's what we want to aim for arrogance is the person who butts in who interrupts they've got different concerns going on and issues that they need to address also they're often not ready or willing.
00:52:01.410 --> 00:52:09.000 Graham Dobbin: yeah I want to get to this, because when we could probably got about five or six minutes left, I want to get to this you've been a part of being a professional dinner party host.
00:52:09.810 --> 00:52:11.490 Graham Dobbin: Something that first thing we have is for.
00:52:11.670 --> 00:52:14.400 Graham Dobbin: You said something to be kind of this this this table.
00:52:15.120 --> 00:52:20.730 Graham Dobbin: yeah absolutely stop me to talk to me about when it came from what happens.
00:52:22.350 --> 00:52:29.550 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So imagine there's this beautiful table in front of you and it's not fussy it's Martha worthy but it's not Buckingham Palace and.
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:37.080 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: You walk into this room, maybe it's a theater maybe it's a room and and you're there to partake you're not quite sure where the experience is Graham.
00:52:37.350 --> 00:52:47.280 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: You just know that when you see that table and there's a set there's one set for you there's a chair waiting for you, you anticipate belonging.
00:52:48.030 --> 00:52:59.970 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: As hunt humans, we are hungry for connection and the table is both my metaphor, and my little prop, if you will, Graham like I do professionally.
00:53:00.240 --> 00:53:12.750 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: host completely singular experiences that Center around a dinner party and what it does, the i'll just jump right to the outcome, the whole purpose of it is to form deep professional relationships.
00:53:13.530 --> 00:53:21.810 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: It is not talking about the weather or sports or anything like that that's topical it's about saying you tell me one thing.
00:53:22.140 --> 00:53:30.570 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: That you're aiming once one goal in your life and nobody else knows about like whoa whoa we just dropped down three levels into me.
00:53:31.290 --> 00:53:41.340 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: that's where the rubber hits the road that's the magic that's actually what we're all craving but for some reason we stay at the tips of the waves life happens underneath the surface of the water.
00:53:41.970 --> 00:53:51.600 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Put your scuba gear on people that dinner table for because someday Graham you and I, and Sam and whole bunch of other people are going to be around that table we're going to have a dinner party.
00:53:52.080 --> 00:53:59.340 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: And we're going to have this experience right and it's not about the food and beverage servings and we need don't vacuum that's not the point.
00:53:59.940 --> 00:54:11.340 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Your corporation like get your directors together say thank you acknowledge your donors calling the volunteers your board, what are your retreats whatever it is it's such a nimble thing, because we all have to eat and drink.
00:54:12.210 --> 00:54:24.960 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: When we profoundly intend, when our intention is so strong Graham at this time at the table something different, is going to happen is going to be magic and you walk away from that evening thinking.
00:54:26.610 --> 00:54:37.410 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I am going to remember this, the rest of my life that's the power of connection it is possible for everybody, not everybody knows how to do it that's why I offer it as an.
00:54:37.470 --> 00:54:47.100 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Actual service, I want to help teams do their best work and they do their best work when they feel truly deeply connected, and these are happy people know each other when they come into the room.
00:54:48.690 --> 00:54:56.790 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: I foster that I facilitate that in a very informal and obviously orchestrated way is like Oh, the elves are at work.
00:54:57.420 --> 00:55:02.520 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: But you know just sit down and let me anticipate and i've literally hosted hundreds of dinner parties myself.
00:55:02.760 --> 00:55:12.330 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: So I know what works and what doesn't work, I know what to bring up what to avoid and know how to circumnavigate the conversation hog and I know how to bring out the person is really quiet it's magic.
00:55:12.810 --> 00:55:17.220 Graham Dobbin: You choose who's going to be in the room, or do you just take who ever wants to be in the room.
00:55:17.760 --> 00:55:21.570 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: Stan couple different formats, it just depends like what do you want so.
00:55:21.960 --> 00:55:33.150 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: there's a great cdb i'm working with a major American city, they want to bring their stakeholders there they know who they want so i'm their partner in putting these together and facilitating and making them hum.
00:55:33.630 --> 00:55:42.660 Ginger Johnson, Powered By Connection: If you if you want to like open up the doors that's a totally different dynamic I can orchestrate that as well, because then there's different guidance that's needed different topics and so forth.
00:55:43.380 --> 00:55:48.900 Graham Dobbin: it's really clear we hear the passion that you don't for this, which.
00:55:49.140 --> 00:55:49.380 Graham Dobbin: kind of.
00:55:49.800 --> 00:55:56.340 Graham Dobbin: makes all the difference i'm ginger root we're kind of run out of time i'm really disappointed.
00:55:58.110 --> 00:55:58.920 Graham Dobbin: That we chatted.
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:10.080 Graham Dobbin: For the kind of stuff that i've taken from tonight is a sticky cobwebs definitely a connecting is a boomerang one thing that would not come back to you mentioned don't ignite activate.
00:56:11.100 --> 00:56:21.150 Graham Dobbin: So there'd be some real real gems tonight and that confidence is a skilled yes kind of logical so it's logical but it's not you know it's.
00:56:21.570 --> 00:56:29.730 Graham Dobbin: I hear people saying you've given me confidence and every time I say that they say that says, I can't give you anything i've not been this, I cannot give you a.
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:43.500 Graham Dobbin: yeah you go find that you found it somewhere with the connections that we've done ginger Thank you so much for for taking the time I feel that that could possibly be a ginger and grandpa to today.
00:56:44.730 --> 00:56:53.220 Graham Dobbin: That may just come along because we've got so much to talk about Thank you to once again to the magnificent some liberty in the background.
00:56:54.090 --> 00:57:11.580 Graham Dobbin: Who pulls all this together it's Thursday night is the mind behind leadership is live on talk radio dot nyc and we'll be back next week it's seven o'clock with a new thought, a new ideas around leadership Thank you again to ginger Johnson take care good night.