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The Mind Behind Leadership

Thursday, March 11, 2021
11
Mar
Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/11 - Becoming a Forgiving Leader

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/11 - Becoming a Forgiving Leader

 

2021/03/11 - Becoming a Forgiving Leader

[NEW EPISODE] Becoming a Forgiving Leader

With a PhD in communication and an expertise in good gossip, Dr. Shawne Duperon is considered to be one of the most innovative speakers and consultants on engagement today. Her social reach tops 100 million a month. From London, to Athens, to Munich, to across North America,

Dr. Shawne educates corporations, universities, governments and entrepreneurs, on how to effectively communicate resulting in increased engagement, retention, agility and creativity in the workplace. Her progressive teachings on Forgiveness as a Leadership Skill shift corporate cultures and amplify respect.

Her case study, Project Forgive, a non-religious educational foundation, focuses on mental health and business programs that make a difference for Veterans and those who make a difference in the juvenile justice system.

This Six-Time EMMY® winner has been featured on CNN, ABC, Inc. Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and USA Today, to name a few. As a scholar, Dr. Shawne’s expertise is leading-edge. Applying gossip theory, her disruptive strategies caused Project Forgive to go viral, garnering an endorsement from Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the honor of a 2016 Nobel Peace Prize Nomination for her work on global leadership.

Tune in for this insightful conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

The episode begins with host Graham Dobbin introducing the guest, six-time EMMY award winner Dr. Shawne Duperon. Dr. Duperon begins by how she started her career, speaking that she believes that things that happen to us, actually may happen for us. She reveals that she was molested at a young age, and how that traumatic event shaped the rest of her life, inspiring her to become an advocate for mental health. Once she grew up, she knew that she would seek treatment for her mental health and her mission to learn about forgiveness. She discusses her course, “Receiving the apology you’ll never receive”. She speaks of her experience with a bad neighbor, and the once she was fed up, every time that she saw him she imagined that he was apologizing to her, even if he was not. Duperon also speaks about her mother, father, and sister all tragically passing away from cancer just before COVID and how that affected her throughout the pandemic and lockdown.

Segment 2

The second segment continues the conversation on forgiveness, particularly asking for forgiveness. The three steps are acknowledging what you did wrong, actually apologizing, and what you can do to make amends. She speaks about waiting on apologizing when apologizing may not feel fully truthful, there is no shame in waiting to apologize to someone, wanting the apology to be fully authentic. She discusses her parenting skills after her traumatic childhood, and how they came over time. She explains her case study, Project Forgive, and how grief changes us. Grieving can be one of the most transformative processes. How quickly can we forgive others in order to change ourselves and solve our problems.

Segment 3

The third segment opens with discussion about “Good Gossip”, and how only 5-7% of gossip is negative. The word “gossip” means “god sip”, which is close to God. They discuss how you can love someone and hate someone at the same time, and how those concepts have been a large part of her life, and the role they play in her life. Authenticity is the leading force of the project. Acceptance is the biggest key to peace. Forgiveness is not black-and-white, it’s a long process that one cannot put off. Once we choose to live our forgiveness, then we can have peace. She also gives a tip to families who may be fighting about politics, saying that as soon as the subject comes up, just telling them person that they love each other and that, when they do speak about politics, they divide, and would rather put politics to the side to work on the positive and vulnerable side of their politics.

Segment 4

The final segment opens with Dr. Duperon opening up about her Nobel Peace Prize, speaking about the nomination process. She reveals how tragedy can bring families together, and how when things weren’t going the way she wanted them to, this instance ended with her getting a Nobel Peace Prize Nomination, as a product of divine order. She discusses her feelings after finding out she was nominated, and how the nomination affected the project, expanding the work that they had been doing. Everyone can relate to the conversation on forgiveness, leading to the project’s success. Dr. Duperon also speaks about her Emmy nominations, and how she had been nominated 11 times before winning, doing introspective work on losing and forgiving herself for wanting to win. She concludes the conversation revealing what is next for her, which involves a movie documentary, titled “Project Forgive”, that is currently in the editing process. The movie surrounds Dr. Duperon’s difficult journey in forgiving her mother. She finishes by giving advice to those who may be struggling with forgiveness, saying that forgiving oneself for not forgiving is the first step in forgiveness.


Transcript

00:00:43.470 --> 00:00:57.000 Graham Dobbin: Welcome to the mind behind the leadership live here on talk radio dot nyc we've got a first today we've actually got a guest who's dancing to the theme June before we even start as a first look i've got the best job in the world.

00:00:58.410 --> 00:01:09.510 Graham Dobbin: Every week i'm speaking with people with different perspectives different ideas approaches on what leadership really means that just seems to be one one kind of constant within all it's the intent.

00:01:09.540 --> 00:01:15.630 Graham Dobbin: Of the guests every guest that have on seems to be intent on influencing others to do something positive.

00:01:16.350 --> 00:01:23.850 Graham Dobbin: To create a positive outcome to act in the right way and create a positive outcome for themselves as well, sometimes actually.

00:01:24.030 --> 00:01:32.610 Graham Dobbin: forgotten about, so it kind of branches over between business and personal my guesses we're going to kind of talk over those tonight.

00:01:33.360 --> 00:01:42.630 Graham Dobbin: So he's my guest sit back and relax, so this is a big, this is a big welcome this one and I guess this evening is Dr Sean deeper on.

00:01:43.110 --> 00:01:52.230 Graham Dobbin: The parent i'll go down, but to get that right, as we go through our doctor sean's got PhD in communications and an expertise in good gossip.

00:01:52.650 --> 00:02:01.350 Graham Dobbin: And, which is also considered as one of the most innovative speakers and consultants on engagement today our social media rainbow just a social rich.

00:02:01.830 --> 00:02:18.120 Graham Dobbin: get this top 100 million, a month now, progressive teachings on forgiveness as a leadership skill shifts corporate cultures and amplify respect a case study project forgive is a nonprofit non religious educational foundation.

00:02:19.200 --> 00:02:27.240 Graham Dobbin: That is focuses on mental health and business programs that make a difference from veterans and those who make a difference in the juvenile justice system.

00:02:27.900 --> 00:02:37.200 Graham Dobbin: But there's more there's more just listen to this, I hope, you're suitably imbalance by old as well, but just six times emmy award winner.

00:02:37.650 --> 00:02:49.020 Graham Dobbin: Who has been featured on CNN ABC ink magazine The Wall Street Journal and the USA, today, to name just a few and as a scholar Dr sean's expertise is leading edge.

00:02:49.560 --> 00:02:57.360 Graham Dobbin: and applying this gossip theory which i'm really interested in how destructive strategies cause project for give tickle vital.

00:02:57.720 --> 00:03:12.900 Graham Dobbin: gardening an endorsement from nor less than arch Bishop Desmond Tutu and the owner of a 2016 Nobel Peace Prize nomination for her work in global leadership, Dr Sean good evening.

00:03:13.740 --> 00:03:14.730 Dr. Shawne Duperon: yay good.

00:03:16.320 --> 00:03:17.100 Graham Dobbin: wow.

00:03:18.780 --> 00:03:21.690 Graham Dobbin: i'm glad we got five hours to talk about this because there's a lot to talk.

00:03:24.090 --> 00:03:28.470 Graham Dobbin: we've only got the overhead how did all this begin, how does some.

00:03:29.010 --> 00:03:40.830 Graham Dobbin: My guess is nobody kind of turns around and says i'm going to win six emmys i'm going to get a Nobel Peace Prize award and i'm gonna i'm going to create all this, all this impact else everywhere only helping it stopped for you.

00:03:43.530 --> 00:03:45.510 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You know that is an excellent question.

00:03:46.620 --> 00:03:49.410 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You know what I would have to say I have to say i'm secret.

00:03:50.670 --> 00:03:57.060 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I know many people watching listening to really relate that when you come from the back.

00:03:58.350 --> 00:04:01.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That it's amazing that you're allowed.

00:04:03.030 --> 00:04:14.760 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That when you do your internal earth and That to me is what leadership is all about do your work, you keep growing and growing and growing and keep doing the next right step.

00:04:15.570 --> 00:04:28.290 Dr. Shawne Duperon: and eventually you're actually creating a life that you love it means I believe that with my whole heart, I know you get this conversation and i'm I can talk about and so spread out of the.

00:04:28.860 --> 00:04:30.630 Graham Dobbin: ground again you do go for it.

00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:45.240 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I talked about being an ancestor by you know, ever since my 20s and I love to bring up the subject because some of the things that happened to us, I really see is happening for us.

00:04:45.870 --> 00:05:02.550 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Because you know, do I wish someone excellent them and, in the same breath it's probably one of the best things that's ever shaped me to be the most compassionate kind unstoppable individual.

00:05:03.780 --> 00:05:05.910 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You could meet, and I really see myself.

00:05:07.050 --> 00:05:23.820 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And there's no there's shame doesn't tie me down, I have no issue asking for stolen um I feel so free as a 57 year old grandmother now doing all this work and I called leadership home that.

00:05:24.750 --> 00:05:38.520 Dr. Shawne Duperon: it's it falls in the miracle zone, he calls in the miracle zone and comes back to being a young girl being molested and deciding when I was 13 saying you know what this is massive.

00:05:39.630 --> 00:05:49.710 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'm going to figure out why this is like the sims and figure out what is my destiny what am I supposed to do in the world, and that was my conversation as a 13 year old.

00:05:50.460 --> 00:06:05.520 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i've been an advocate for self care mental health counseling foster programmes, taking any kind of professional development course you can take and um it's paid off, you do your work amazing things happen.

00:06:06.450 --> 00:06:06.840 it's.

00:06:07.890 --> 00:06:12.120 Graham Dobbin: kind of we've done a 13 year old 1320 to find.

00:06:13.260 --> 00:06:15.600 Graham Dobbin: That insight to see that there's something else.

00:06:16.320 --> 00:06:18.030 Graham Dobbin: You know I actually do something about you.

00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:25.320 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Well, I couldn't really do anything at 13 because it was the family system with the family system, I just knew that when I got.

00:06:26.790 --> 00:06:37.530 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That I was going to seek counseling because I knew your I was being a 13 year old eight year old seven year old being the parent in the family system, and I know a lot of people can really relate to this.

00:06:38.070 --> 00:06:51.780 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And this is not dissing my family oh I love him and i've learned a lot, especially more modern and I don't know why I have that cushion bug to.

00:06:52.470 --> 00:07:01.650 Dr. Shawne Duperon: To self discover into professionally develop I sometimes I think i'm one of the lucky ones, and someone will hear me say you think you're lucky.

00:07:02.310 --> 00:07:13.110 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And yeah I do um because, if I look at a continuum of like 40 things about my experience and I get 40 things that was looking at.

00:07:13.590 --> 00:07:25.860 Dr. Shawne Duperon: There is horribly abused there's deep pain there's lots of greed there's amazing athletes there's joy there's excitement there's play it comes all that goes together so one of.

00:07:26.700 --> 00:07:36.690 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The forgiveness, is the biggest speeds and that's why forgiveness has become such a big platform for me and it's not the forgiving forget you're not if someone.

00:07:37.260 --> 00:07:55.800 Dr. Shawne Duperon: gets on a drunk driving accident tells your child you're not going to forgive and forget it doesn't work that and it became one of my missions to really learn about forgiveness, because we always teach what we need most a lot of forgiveness, to do, and so I would credit to my passion.

00:08:00.690 --> 00:08:15.450 Graham Dobbin: How does that relate to one of the things I noticed, you say that you weren't governments and universities, I know you got lots of work with corporations having this this kind of message crossover layer when a sweater so personal.

00:08:16.110 --> 00:08:24.030 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So here's the thing all it takes is someone in a position of power and i'm going to use General Motors as an example.

00:08:24.780 --> 00:08:30.600 Dr. Shawne Duperon: there's this guy's name is reggie humphreys he's in charge of supplier diversity for General Motors he saw me speak.

00:08:31.080 --> 00:08:47.700 Dr. Shawne Duperon: He saw me do a session with women business owners around social media, because you know we're really good at that social good Gospel and I incorporated the conversation of forgiveness, in it, and what are the tools that we teach is called accepting the apology you'll never receive.

00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:54.420 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And he is when people do this activity, like at a live event and still doing my mind.

00:08:56.490 --> 00:09:08.880 Dr. Shawne Duperon: is transforming it is a stellar tool that you don't need anyone to apologize to you anymore you take on your own leadership, and you can do it yourself and reggie saw this and just one.

00:09:10.740 --> 00:09:21.720 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And he was my push over my threshold, he said, we got to take this into corporations has taken me all kinds of organizations, more and more people found out about it when the gossip Ramos.

00:09:22.170 --> 00:09:33.270 Dr. Shawne Duperon: was created, because the tools are that explicit and it just takes one person to empower say wow and that's what happened and it's you know game on or sex.

00:09:34.500 --> 00:09:40.500 Graham Dobbin: So this is about us i'm forgiving other actions yeah.

00:09:41.760 --> 00:09:41.970 Graham Dobbin: yeah.

00:09:42.990 --> 00:09:43.290 Graham Dobbin: yeah.

00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:49.680 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So I got this neighbor this is where I came from, I have a neighbor that drives me nuts, do you have somebody that just he just looked at him he wants to.

00:09:50.790 --> 00:09:52.350 Graham Dobbin: live in New York, of course.

00:09:54.090 --> 00:09:54.690 Graham Dobbin: everywhere.

00:09:55.440 --> 00:10:02.970 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I got this neighbor us like if you watch it's great he's he's like Roland and shits creek only word.

00:10:04.020 --> 00:10:10.110 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Those that don't know, and this is an example, I want to get the mail okay and i'll see Bob that's Nice.

00:10:13.980 --> 00:10:14.310 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Can just go.

00:10:15.780 --> 00:10:27.600 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'll say yeah but you know it's 6pm honey it's not morning and health, this is this was real this really happened, he said to me, I know, but you look like you just got.

00:10:28.680 --> 00:10:29.910 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Okay, so that's.

00:10:31.230 --> 00:10:36.000 Dr. Shawne Duperon: it's a social skills issue you know, whatever Okay, so he annoyed.

00:10:37.860 --> 00:10:47.250 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I said what would happen okay as a leader, if I pretended in my mind saw that he was apologizing he's not no apologies.

00:10:47.910 --> 00:10:54.630 Dr. Shawne Duperon: But I just pretended that he works, could I shipped me myself as a year, because we have no control over anybody.

00:10:55.560 --> 00:11:04.590 Dr. Shawne Duperon: that's it, so I started practicing in my mind, every time I saw him that he was apologizing and, in my mind was saying things like.

00:11:05.100 --> 00:11:20.490 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Oh sorry I did it again I can't believe I put my foot my mouth every time I see why I get nervous actually anytime I see any people i'm such an introvert I always say the wrong things and i'm so uncomfortable talking to people in the truth is, I just want.

00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:30.090 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And as soon as I would say that my mind wasn't saying I would definitely my agitation would start to disappear.

00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:43.860 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I actually fell more in love with this guy and with my shifting he also started to show it's a powerful tool that you can do with anybody that drives you crazy it's a total practice right.

00:11:46.170 --> 00:11:48.480 Graham Dobbin: Well i'm selling New York, I think I could probably get.

00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:49.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: One practice.

00:11:50.130 --> 00:11:52.650 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You know, when I look at you know you know, I have some tragedy.

00:11:54.900 --> 00:12:00.180 Graham Dobbin: Oh i'm sorry go ahead, no, no sorry you froze just for a moment, there I don't know if it's one of us so that's.

00:12:00.180 --> 00:12:02.730 Graham Dobbin: I thought you I thought you finished your seat, please carry on.

00:12:03.510 --> 00:12:14.160 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So you can use it for a higher skill set like one of my stories right now is just before koba good my mother, my father.

00:12:14.970 --> 00:12:28.890 Dr. Shawne Duperon: yeah my sister my full primary name all died of cancer three different types of cancer in a very short period of time and sitting still during coaching was a strong because.

00:12:31.740 --> 00:12:48.360 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i've used this tool, you can use it and just you know project forgive us non religious welcome we're inclusive or bipartisan nolan and we welcome whatever religion or not doesn't matter for me it's gone and I use that apology with God.

00:12:49.380 --> 00:13:05.280 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Especially in the shape of my life and God I would pretend that we're saying things like oh Sean i'm so sorry, you know everybody's gone, I know you feel guilt for being a survivor I know this makes no sense.

00:13:06.330 --> 00:13:13.200 Dr. Shawne Duperon: No sense just know I gave a divine plane and it's going to be okay we'll get through.

00:13:14.190 --> 00:13:21.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And that's something I said to myself daily over yeah I did that apology from Bob I couldn't even get God to.

00:13:22.770 --> 00:13:27.600 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'm not saying this for other people to do it it's just an exquisite tool.

00:13:28.050 --> 00:13:36.780 Dr. Shawne Duperon: For whatever area of life that you need that kind of tool with you know could be the annoying neighbor or it could be with your mother in law that you really want to be close to.

00:13:37.170 --> 00:13:45.330 Dr. Shawne Duperon: could be with a business partner who stole 20 grand I mean there's so many different ways that it can be used and our minds are so powerful right.

00:13:46.050 --> 00:13:57.840 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And, just like to say, think of a lemon you can think of a lemon or pickle what we tell ourselves is what we believe, and when you do this activity, it actually feels like the person apologize to you, even though they didn't.

00:13:59.190 --> 00:14:01.470 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I love sharing about it, because it really works.

00:14:01.800 --> 00:14:05.760 Graham Dobbin: So I got to ask it is that how you actually see shawn.

00:14:07.290 --> 00:14:08.910 Graham Dobbin: To show i'm getting all mixed up.

00:14:10.530 --> 00:14:11.850 Graham Dobbin: With names, but Bob.

00:14:12.120 --> 00:14:22.560 Graham Dobbin: Is that how you actually see, but when you when you kind of, say, well i'm an introvert i'd say that on things you actually think that's how we genuinely really is or is this a caricature that you've made up.

00:14:22.650 --> 00:14:24.450 Graham Dobbin: In your mind to be able to deal with it.

00:14:25.050 --> 00:14:35.730 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So there's two answers to that one is you can make it up the second answer is because i'm a trainer that dives into personalities and.

00:14:36.210 --> 00:14:50.910 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Face how our face works and all that i'm pretty clear on accurate on that with them, just because that's what I do for a living, I can really read people in that way, like what literally might be going on with them, and I believe it's pretty accurate but let's say it's not.

00:14:50.940 --> 00:14:59.430 Dr. Shawne Duperon: let's say I just made it up still works, so you don't have to be accurate and you don't have to be like there's no right way to do.

00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:09.630 Graham Dobbin: And there's probably not many ways they can really check I was just curious if that was where you actually thought it was but we're about to go to break when we come back from the break.

00:15:10.680 --> 00:15:19.620 Graham Dobbin: was a couple of things I do want to want to dive into all one of them being about asking for forgiveness, so the other way around, so as giving forgiveness is one site.

00:15:20.520 --> 00:15:35.070 Graham Dobbin: But we should experience of having to ask for forgiveness, because mine is plenty and that one as well you're listening to the mind behind leadership we're with Dr Sean this evening we're live on top radio dot nyc and we'll be back after these messages.

00:18:36.750 --> 00:18:43.050 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership we are with Dr Sean this evening, not Dr Bob definitely Dr Sean.

00:18:44.610 --> 00:18:58.410 Graham Dobbin: i'm stumbling late Bob this evening i'm forgiveness, so what we've spoken quite lately My guess is there's a lot more to speak about in this were spoken Whiteley about i'm kind of forgiving others.

00:18:59.370 --> 00:19:00.810 Graham Dobbin: How about asking for.

00:19:00.810 --> 00:19:01.950 Graham Dobbin: forgiveness.

00:19:02.490 --> 00:19:03.750 Graham Dobbin: Later we will sound up to.

00:19:03.750 --> 00:19:04.170 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Show.

00:19:04.260 --> 00:19:24.090 Dr. Shawne Duperon: love this conversation i'm really liking you grant so i'm a researcher, I know that our brain grasps in threes okay three steps very, very easy acknowledge what you did wrong, and I say it in quotes because sometimes somebody wants an apology for a perceived.

00:19:24.870 --> 00:19:35.610 Dr. Shawne Duperon: mistake and that's the highest level of leadership when you can apologize, and we didn't do anything wrong that's high leadership so acknowledge.

00:19:36.810 --> 00:19:46.860 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Actually apologize, and then what you can do to make amends three steps acknowledge the mistake acknowledge the pain, whatever it is.

00:19:47.580 --> 00:19:57.960 Dr. Shawne Duperon: an actual apology and what you can do to make amends so let's what what kind of example, can we use what did I do did I hurt your feelings, what did I do did I.

00:19:59.100 --> 00:20:01.770 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Was I out of integrity and didn't show up for an interview.

00:20:02.340 --> 00:20:05.610 Graham Dobbin: I know I know, everybody hurts my feelings i'm quite sensitive soul.

00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:09.990 Dr. Shawne Duperon: good example to apologize for.

00:20:10.800 --> 00:20:11.670 um.

00:20:13.710 --> 00:20:21.660 Graham Dobbin: I support I yeah I try, one thing that always pushes my buttons is the lack of fairness, so I think there's some things not being done this.

00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:29.190 Graham Dobbin: should have been done or someone's not had an acknowledgement of what they should have been it doesn't even need to be me as something that pushes me.

00:20:30.270 --> 00:20:37.290 Dr. Shawne Duperon: When it's not fair, so what can you give me an example of not fair something recent that happened like that so not.

00:20:37.950 --> 00:20:41.670 Graham Dobbin: When when other people can take credit for something that you've actually done.

00:20:41.910 --> 00:20:45.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Okay, so let's say I took credit for something.

00:20:46.770 --> 00:20:47.370 Graham Dobbin: I knew it.

00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:51.210 Graham Dobbin: yeah I knew as soon as you summed up this evening, and you, you.

00:20:51.750 --> 00:20:53.520 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Okay, what did I take credit for.

00:20:54.450 --> 00:21:01.800 Graham Dobbin: um for designing a training program that really that really hit the mark.

00:21:02.070 --> 00:21:20.820 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Right, that is a deep apology because that's a high ethics violation so um I would have called you or text you say hey can I have a conversation with you that's what I would have done and let's say we're having a conversation so Graham I really appreciate that we came on this call.

00:21:22.080 --> 00:21:29.790 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I the biggest thing I want to do first of all is the knowledge that I actually plagiarized training.

00:21:31.590 --> 00:21:40.500 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I just want to be upfront about it, and I just want you to know that i'm acknowledging it and I need to deep deeply apologize.

00:21:40.980 --> 00:21:51.990 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I there was miscommunication my office lot of things happen, but regardless of what happened, the bottom line is I plagiarized your stuff and I need to make it right.

00:21:52.860 --> 00:21:59.340 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And so I do apologize and i'm wondering, I was thinking about a couple of ways to make amends, like, I can do.

00:21:59.820 --> 00:22:11.310 Dr. Shawne Duperon: acknowledge it publicly on linkedin because that seems to be where most of all interaction happened i'm happy to do several posts, because it takes a while, for it to filter through that's one way that I could do it.

00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:20.550 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That would help start the process is they don't think we start this morning, how are you how are you feeling and thinking is i'm saying moments.

00:22:20.940 --> 00:22:32.070 Graham Dobbin: i'm feeling that you are being absolutely sincere because that's a that's a huge commitment to do something like that public, you could have probably bought milk, with a glass of whiskey.

00:22:32.130 --> 00:22:34.770 Graham Dobbin: and offer now, but you know the.

00:22:41.670 --> 00:22:42.540 Dr. Shawne Duperon: cinnamon whiskey.

00:22:43.470 --> 00:22:44.250 Graham Dobbin: seven would.

00:22:44.310 --> 00:22:44.700 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I like to.

00:22:46.290 --> 00:22:46.710 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Do you.

00:22:47.880 --> 00:22:49.050 Graham Dobbin: Know Scotch Scotch.

00:22:49.110 --> 00:22:49.380 Okay.

00:22:51.510 --> 00:22:52.740 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Like that's an example.

00:22:52.770 --> 00:22:53.310 Graham Dobbin: Right.

00:22:53.370 --> 00:22:59.580 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Now let's say it's a little one let's say it's your kids and they want ice cream for breakfast.

00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:10.140 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Okay it's a simple one, but this is a great formula and let's say oh little Graham all you want ice cream i'm acknowledging you want ice cream I get it.

00:23:10.800 --> 00:23:16.230 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'm so sorry but you can't have a spring for for breakfast it's just not gonna work.

00:23:17.130 --> 00:23:32.070 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I got a couple of options on maybe we can have for dinner tonight and i'm happy to let you have ice cream, for your birthday, for your birthday your birthday is coming up in three weeks we can even have ice cream for breakfast on your birthday well that works for you and i'm so sorry.

00:23:34.140 --> 00:23:35.370 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You see out formulaic.

00:23:36.390 --> 00:23:49.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: formula really else and sometimes when people are listening, they say, oh wait that's pretty easy, and when you start practicing it it's so easy it's just like Okay, I need to acknowledge me to actually apologize what.

00:23:50.790 --> 00:23:58.710 Graham Dobbin: What do you think most people don't do Where do they not forgiven and the right we've got formula their whole part of the formula is normally missed.

00:23:58.740 --> 00:24:02.670 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Know it's missing it's a conversation and doing Graham being.

00:24:04.410 --> 00:24:20.130 Dr. Shawne Duperon: People and actually my Facebook live on Mondays on forced apologies for us to make an apology, you should never, never, never, never, never apologize if you're still angry about it, if you think it's wrong if it's in authentic for you.

00:24:21.660 --> 00:24:28.440 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Just you might say to me hey Dr Sean I need I need an apology and if i'm not ready to apologize and say i'm done.

00:24:28.950 --> 00:24:40.950 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I need a little bit of time to process would you allow me that process in time and i'll circle back in a couple weeks, let me see how long journey, because the truth is, I want to be authentic and that apology, and right now on to the financing.

00:24:42.150 --> 00:25:00.840 Graham Dobbin: um you mentioned when we spoke with ball you, you were you were very, very descriptive or pay you saw him in your mind when you're thinking about forgiveness, and it was like you created almost this persona per vm and and essentially do, that is, that something that was allowance.

00:25:01.980 --> 00:25:05.850 Graham Dobbin: As you were coming through your teenage years was that a way of dealing with things.

00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:07.350 Graham Dobbin: No.

00:25:09.840 --> 00:25:14.100 Dr. Shawne Duperon: um I come from a family household it should never be able.

00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:20.940 Dr. Shawne Duperon: To use it was not Okay, I know a lot, I come from a very alcoholic.

00:25:21.540 --> 00:25:31.770 Dr. Shawne Duperon: incestuous back home and feelings were on acceptable anger was acceptable all those things wrong acceptable, so I had to go on my own journey of self discovery.

00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:43.230 Dr. Shawne Duperon: We parent myself, you know I know many of us have yet to do that this is not just in my family, I mean the skills that i've learned through my experience in life.

00:25:44.250 --> 00:25:51.780 Dr. Shawne Duperon: blessings to me, I have some skills right and so no did not it was just an evolution over time.

00:25:52.020 --> 00:25:52.890 Graham Dobbin: it's great stuff.

00:25:53.370 --> 00:25:53.790 well.

00:25:55.020 --> 00:26:05.340 Graham Dobbin: um so talk to us more than about project would give it a halo so we were spoken in detail what kind of what is how what's the impact you.

00:26:06.060 --> 00:26:18.600 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So project forget we've really shifted project forgive a shifted in 2021 and we're we're looking at doing more training for teachers that's all going to be spending a lot of time.

00:26:19.110 --> 00:26:28.680 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Just because of Coleman and teachers need the support I know kids need support and I come from the mindset feed the teachers who are feeling students.

00:26:29.130 --> 00:26:42.900 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And so we're doing a lot of training creation to really make a difference for teachers what I love about project for you is that we do reach millions you do lives everything.

00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:48.090 Dr. Shawne Duperon: week break and bust up months.

00:26:49.290 --> 00:27:00.570 Dr. Shawne Duperon: that's that's one of the things that I get startled me sometimes about the conversation of forgiveness, is that the forgiven forget crap it's just cramps is not it's just.

00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:18.330 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That you know you'd have to be like Jesus or God and forgive forgiveness, is a process we're here, having a human experience there's many times, we can forgive people quickly like someone cuts me off on the road, I can forgive them pretty uncle.

00:27:19.410 --> 00:27:26.640 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Someone betrays trust or steals $50,000 for my company that's a process and the.

00:27:27.060 --> 00:27:35.430 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Things that people don't understand what I love about project forgive is that we really focus on five stages of bringing things in threes fives and sevens.

00:27:36.300 --> 00:27:45.990 Dr. Shawne Duperon: there's the there's this list process there's these stages, we go through when it comes to forgiving deep stuff and it goes shot anger.

00:27:46.980 --> 00:27:59.430 Dr. Shawne Duperon: grief acceptance and peace it's a five shot acceptance acceptance and peace it's a nonlinear process so let's say you get fired from your job or you lose a bit climate.

00:27:59.970 --> 00:28:10.590 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Like really angry, because you didn't see it coming from three days later, a new client comes on board, it sounds great, but then that client means right away because it didn't like the contract you're back to anger again.

00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:25.140 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So you can go from a murder case acceptance to great the hardest places for people is to be that's why I like to publicly green green to model which.

00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:26.490 looks.

00:28:29.040 --> 00:28:42.900 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Green is the most transformative feeling and experience, you can get three changes to notice you're hearing a lot of anger usually what's underneath a lot of a lot of weight.

00:28:43.590 --> 00:28:53.700 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And so, this educational component to normalize this process of forgiveness it's not like he killed your sister and you're going to go on them and say I forgive you.

00:28:54.180 --> 00:29:05.010 Dr. Shawne Duperon: that's not what a normal process of forgiveness would look like, although it can look like that for somebody i've seen it authentically so this education piece.

00:29:05.820 --> 00:29:17.520 Dr. Shawne Duperon: is probably the most significant for me and me as a trainer i'm taking risks, we do media train high pressure communication you're going to take risks in high pressure situation.

00:29:18.030 --> 00:29:30.600 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And a lot of times you're going to screw up because you've never done it before and the game to me, is completely can you forgive yourself and others, so you can actually find solutions, because if you stay in that.

00:29:31.470 --> 00:29:35.670 Dr. Shawne Duperon: mix problem versus song because I see a distinction between fixing and solving.

00:29:36.600 --> 00:29:50.370 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What solves where people get connected as well, creativity happens for productivity happens that's where you find most amazing ideas for your launch or whatever you're doing in your business or with your employer.

00:29:51.810 --> 00:29:55.110 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That great so so important and we avoid.

00:29:56.430 --> 00:30:07.890 Dr. Shawne Duperon: avoid it because we hurts it hurts just before I got on this call my little grandson is the mikey he's can he was crying because they had to various turtle turtle.

00:30:09.780 --> 00:30:12.570 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And all we have my husband did is we just sit on my.

00:30:15.540 --> 00:30:15.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: lap.

00:30:17.250 --> 00:30:18.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: We have a hard time letting people.

00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:23.490 Dr. Shawne Duperon: i'm going to bring up another good one for greatness Okay, this is what.

00:30:24.480 --> 00:30:28.050 Dr. Shawne Duperon: yeah so um i've been kind of out of pocket for.

00:30:30.420 --> 00:30:36.450 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Major tragedy happen family my daughter six months pregnant she lost.

00:30:38.220 --> 00:30:40.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: brief may come up last are talking about.

00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:51.240 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The rules so say like six month old baby no not that the 12 week one isn't.

00:30:52.320 --> 00:30:56.580 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Just was so real for the person and watching my.

00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:04.800 Dr. Shawne Duperon: husband say to me she's in so much pain I don't know what to do when we do this is.

00:31:05.910 --> 00:31:07.830 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The biggest gift, you can give her.

00:31:08.850 --> 00:31:12.690 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The hardest, the biggest skill it's just too well.

00:31:15.540 --> 00:31:25.080 Dr. Shawne Duperon: If she wants to be with emotion there's something about spring there's something about being with someone someone's great a lot of times we want it.

00:31:26.190 --> 00:31:39.120 Dr. Shawne Duperon: All it's gonna be okay with them on the back put tissues in there, and if someone's greater than 11 as practitioners, we start stepping into codependent behavior so exactly what i'm telling you right now.

00:31:39.750 --> 00:31:47.190 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Is what I love most about project forgive because we get real tips and tools to deal with because.

00:31:48.960 --> 00:31:52.260 Graham Dobbin: it's interesting obviously you Bush.

00:31:53.310 --> 00:31:59.790 Graham Dobbin: way the read that I am on on the subject, it just always feels to me that we've got all these scenes thing like.

00:32:01.110 --> 00:32:10.920 Graham Dobbin: It will be better than the morning or given you know typically heal and everything like that and it's an ace is giving them that space or what I see is people tend to try and shorten that time.

00:32:11.490 --> 00:32:18.240 Graham Dobbin: Rather than just let the team be whatever it is, and it tends to be removed, given just let that PV being whatever it is.

00:32:18.510 --> 00:32:24.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Your cell phone you know it's a great movie reference so love is for us is the monkey bars.

00:32:26.760 --> 00:32:44.700 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And Jenny the love of his life was molested by her day and when she's an adult there we go back to her childhood home and she's so angry and she's throwing rocks at the House and moves me, because what Laura said that was so beautiful.

00:32:45.870 --> 00:32:50.850 Dr. Shawne Duperon: It wasn't about that she's a wasn't about the upsell it was a very.

00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:59.100 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Beautiful come and he always said, is sometimes it's just not enough.

00:33:01.980 --> 00:33:04.530 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I thought wow that is great.

00:33:04.620 --> 00:33:08.160 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That is a validation that is loving someone up in action.

00:33:09.390 --> 00:33:11.580 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And yeah great point that.

00:33:12.990 --> 00:33:24.120 Graham Dobbin: i'm just gonna go for a quick break when I come back we're gonna we're gonna be talking about what's this good gossip thing how'd you get six amy's horses Nobel Peace Prize.

00:33:24.600 --> 00:33:34.290 Graham Dobbin: We want to, not all of it Okay, are you listening to the main behind the leadership and we're with Dr Sean your Labor top radio dot nyc will be back after these.

00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:33.330 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership we're speaking with Dr Sean this evening life here on talk radio dot nyc.

00:36:33.570 --> 00:36:45.030 Graham Dobbin: Dr Sean one thing I do need to tell you we've got a shortcut one next week with the collect con shop, who I personally know from Manchester in the UK who's had a similar experience and kind of.

00:36:45.540 --> 00:37:00.690 Graham Dobbin: The you've hired and she ended up as a sex worker, but no runs a couple of centers and it's heavily involved with support services in northern England that it's a fascinating conversation.

00:37:02.460 --> 00:37:10.260 Graham Dobbin: So an old collect from from a number of years ago, so it's it's an interesting thing we recorded that just that, just a few days ago and.

00:37:11.850 --> 00:37:15.630 Graham Dobbin: Good gossip What on earth is good gossip.

00:37:17.970 --> 00:37:21.150 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You know, when you think gossip usually takes me an estimate.

00:37:21.810 --> 00:37:29.310 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Yes, yes for the research shows that that mean nasty stuff is only about five to 7%.

00:37:30.060 --> 00:37:48.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: were actually really, really good people we tend to remember the bad gossip gets just our our awareness and our brains work and it says a lot about where the word comes from the word Gospel comes from the word God said, meaning close to God.

00:37:50.340 --> 00:38:02.040 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So what would happen eight 910 centuries it do us for delivering babies were called gossips because they spread the precious metals that are precious child down.

00:38:04.200 --> 00:38:19.350 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And when I read about the Origination of this one, I said i'm done i'm so just, can you imagine if he really became masterful good gossip and how do you make things go viral what causes what could you make go viral.

00:38:20.370 --> 00:38:29.490 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And forgiveness, has always been at the top of my list, especially when I typically focus on media training just people would go on camera on the data like look.

00:38:29.790 --> 00:38:37.530 Dr. Shawne Duperon: A screwed it up, they thought they were terrible and it was more about getting over your own self and forgiving yourself, so I thought, what would happen.

00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:53.370 Dr. Shawne Duperon: If we did something on forgiveness and then the perfect storm came in place and what happened was a dear friend of ours His name was during his name is Gary langston his wife and son and two sons were killed by a drunk driver.

00:38:54.540 --> 00:39:05.730 Dr. Shawne Duperon: so devastating it was even more devastating when we found out and that the man who killed them was also a dear family now Gary.

00:39:06.420 --> 00:39:24.810 Dr. Shawne Duperon: dear friend to his wife was my husband's business coach for my kids baby sadness case and then the man who killed this family broad daylight drunk driving his family is also a dear friend, and I just thought the day that that unlike what are the.

00:39:26.130 --> 00:39:36.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What does that mean, and how can you be a really amazing person and killed three people can you be both of those things right.

00:39:38.370 --> 00:39:43.290 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And how do you define how do you integrate.

00:39:44.460 --> 00:39:45.960 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So it became.

00:39:47.040 --> 00:39:57.000 Dr. Shawne Duperon: A big topic for me like you know, when I look at my perpetrator look at my mother will be trade me to save me from being molested.

00:39:57.390 --> 00:40:07.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: there's hate and there's love, we were complex human beings and we process if we allow ourselves to process very complicated information.

00:40:07.620 --> 00:40:17.010 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I did a little video on this on this drunk driving accident and, of course, using gossip theory because we're good at the one file.

00:40:17.430 --> 00:40:24.450 Dr. Shawne Duperon: In the project forgiveness born out of that dichotomy, how can you love someone and hate someone at the same time.

00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:30.180 Dr. Shawne Duperon: How can you appreciate someone and be totally disgusted with them at the same time.

00:40:30.780 --> 00:40:38.640 Dr. Shawne Duperon: How can you be a good person and kill three people at the same time, those dichotomies they're always going to be part of.

00:40:39.210 --> 00:40:56.490 Dr. Shawne Duperon: My grasping and development and to actually talk about it all the way around the process of forgiveness, not forgetting not forgiving it doesn't exist in my world things you can forget for sure, I never forget, Mr benny.

00:40:57.810 --> 00:41:13.650 Dr. Shawne Duperon: benny going to help so being able to process this at the highest critical thinking skills, along with the very opening part that's what inspired me the most about pursuing this intensive and I mean.

00:41:15.060 --> 00:41:20.490 Dr. Shawne Duperon: forgiveness experts across the globe have been continent contacting us for last five years, saying how are you doing.

00:41:20.910 --> 00:41:28.260 Dr. Shawne Duperon: How are you getting into corporation, how are you able to bring up conversation that forgiveness into corporations, we found a way to do it that resident.

00:41:28.560 --> 00:41:38.940 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And it's by being this authentic in conversation with you right now, because what you see, is what you get me are very authentic you taught me say it like it is, and if we don't know where he said we don't know.

00:41:39.420 --> 00:41:48.570 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'm we're going to lay lay there and I really need to do a shout out to prove me wrong to she made vulnerability cool.

00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:57.690 Dr. Shawne Duperon: cool so uh you know the truth is authenticity is what's really driven because.

00:41:58.620 --> 00:42:12.630 Graham Dobbin: it's interesting could just someone just realize hey realization that we say forgiven forget to me know thinking about it in this way, if you can't forget, then that means you can't forgive because we link the two of them yeah.

00:42:14.370 --> 00:42:15.120 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What if.

00:42:16.290 --> 00:42:17.430 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You don't have to print more.

00:42:17.910 --> 00:42:35.880 Dr. Shawne Duperon: yeah what does that mean like i've got to a place where molestation for me, but i'm going to pretty peaceful clothes, does that mean certain things don't trigger me noises trigger me my user centered around Moses, and like being gun popping I can go right back to.

00:42:37.350 --> 00:42:39.300 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What I want mastery over it now.

00:42:40.740 --> 00:42:47.220 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Do I forgive I don't know do I accept and do a piece of software remotely.

00:42:48.210 --> 00:42:56.340 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So I you know I don't know if the end game is to produce that kind of think about forgiveness is black and white forgiveness, is not like one it's a process.

00:42:56.670 --> 00:43:06.120 Dr. Shawne Duperon: it's like do you want to just really get to your life, do you want to like live better once I graduate from college life will be better once I get the perfect job life will be better once I started business.

00:43:06.390 --> 00:43:19.830 Dr. Shawne Duperon: will be better once I have three kids little better will take a house it's all crap it's like dangling a carrot it's the process it's the German we sure that all the time, and when we choose to live it that's when you actually do.

00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:27.240 Graham Dobbin: It again really changes I wrote down black and white, who you're talking to Jenny weinstein and when.

00:43:27.510 --> 00:43:28.650 Dr. Shawne Duperon: you're just getting weinstein.

00:43:28.890 --> 00:43:39.300 Graham Dobbin: yeah and when you're talking about him it's like well it's all bad or is all good and well we're kind of train them to this, whether it be politics or sports or opinions of other people it just.

00:43:39.660 --> 00:43:45.360 Graham Dobbin: there's no middle ground there's no Gray area where either one of the other and latest actually work like that.

00:43:46.800 --> 00:44:00.930 Graham Dobbin: It just not how it works so and I think we've probably seen that more than been more so recently just with all the political politics here under the UK and across Europe and everything that you know, we have the.

00:44:01.560 --> 00:44:02.460 Dr. Shawne Duperon: past year.

00:44:02.910 --> 00:44:04.410 Dr. Shawne Duperon: To help with families that are fighting.

00:44:05.550 --> 00:44:05.940 Graham Dobbin: go on.

00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:19.860 Dr. Shawne Duperon: what's this is let's say you're on opposite ends of the spectrum this works, every time you might have to repeat it 3457 times as soon as politics come up you save your mom save your brother your.

00:44:20.790 --> 00:44:27.660 Dr. Shawne Duperon: mom I love you so much, and I discovered that whenever we bring up politics we devolve.

00:44:28.080 --> 00:44:36.330 Dr. Shawne Duperon: i'm interested in being close to you to pick up politics and put it to the side right now i'm more invested in being close to because I love them.

00:44:37.110 --> 00:44:46.350 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And i'm interested in investing and having to relationship so let's put politics to the side and eventually politics will come back in.

00:44:47.070 --> 00:44:51.180 Dr. Shawne Duperon: As you get closer you need to be able to be vulnerable to have this conversation.

00:44:51.600 --> 00:45:06.900 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And it's like a catch 22 you can't be vulnerable to disappointment politics, you can't talk about because you can't be vulnerable if you put it to the side and let it just sit there and start getting closer in the conversation that will slowly trickle in.

00:45:08.310 --> 00:45:25.650 Graham Dobbin: Thank you in advance for our final break Dr Sean when we come back, we are definitely going to be speaking about the emmys and the Nobel Peace Prize nomination you listening to the man behind leadership live here on talk radio dot nyc will be back after these.

00:47:46.710 --> 00:47:50.610 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind brain where the show we're speaking with Dr Sean.

00:47:50.970 --> 00:48:08.220 Graham Dobbin: And just you know i've got to show charmaine hammond on Facebook live says we are huge fans of project forgive such important work and difference in making or mix, such as makes such a difference let's hope this show means also dancing to the things that you know we're not.

00:48:08.700 --> 00:48:09.060 You know.

00:48:11.310 --> 00:48:21.030 Graham Dobbin: i'm so you got for you got a fan base, so this is this is this Assembly talk to me about this Nobel Peace Prize nomination talk to me wow.

00:48:21.690 --> 00:48:24.480 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So, and probably giving away secrets.

00:48:25.500 --> 00:48:26.910 Graham Dobbin: it's just us it just me.

00:48:27.300 --> 00:48:29.670 Graham Dobbin: Just me you showed me that said, no one else.

00:48:30.780 --> 00:48:34.740 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You have to be nominated and there's a specific.

00:48:36.330 --> 00:48:39.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: constituency that can nominate it's very.

00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:42.120 Dr. Shawne Duperon: top secret.

00:48:44.280 --> 00:48:52.320 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Somebody told somebody took somebody on the nominating committee that the work that we're doing is so amazing.

00:48:53.370 --> 00:48:55.350 Dr. Shawne Duperon: and especially accepting the apology.

00:48:57.060 --> 00:49:03.660 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And so I never met I know the band's name i'm not allowed to say I know who nominated us in Europe.

00:49:04.830 --> 00:49:10.440 Dr. Shawne Duperon: very influential in this nomination process and thought the work that we were doing was so.

00:49:12.150 --> 00:49:16.050 Dr. Shawne Duperon: progressive and breathtaking and it really is and that's how we got.

00:49:17.460 --> 00:49:26.520 Dr. Shawne Duperon: It was so like you know, sometimes you want something to go a certain way you think this should happen or that should happen the right people always show up.

00:49:27.330 --> 00:49:34.440 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The right circumstances always happen, you know even looking at you know what happened with my daughter losing her baby.

00:49:35.190 --> 00:49:51.270 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The weeks that we were together we had some of the most vulnerable intimate conversations we ever had as a family and so tragedy can sometimes bring you together and when things aren't going the way that we want them to you can actually get a Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

00:49:52.560 --> 00:50:07.020 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And so I so trust divine order, the world is an order, even though it doesn't feel like at times even though there's free, even though their sadness there's also a lot of joy, so this whole thing about going with the flow.

00:50:08.640 --> 00:50:25.170 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I really live it and joy is my focus my goal is to be enjoy, and I know what i'm focused on joining me know what's going on finding access to Joy, even in deep green things people beautifully and that's exactly how that's how I describe the Nobel Peace Prize.

00:50:26.190 --> 00:50:28.710 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Was that process happens in that.

00:50:30.330 --> 00:50:34.020 Graham Dobbin: you've got the word joy city will be your your your left shoulder.

00:50:39.030 --> 00:50:46.590 Graham Dobbin: You know we're taught some hot subject some tough stuff this evening how did you feel when you realize you've been nominated.

00:50:47.910 --> 00:50:50.910 Dr. Shawne Duperon: um I was mostly.

00:50:52.260 --> 00:50:54.360 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Just the work is so beautiful.

00:50:58.170 --> 00:50:58.800 Dr. Shawne Duperon: and deserves.

00:51:02.130 --> 00:51:08.730 Graham Dobbin: Because there's no What did he do for for the project What did it do for Canada what he was doing to have that kind of endorsement.

00:51:09.480 --> 00:51:25.770 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So we come into course i'm a gossip theorist right talk about the theory i'm all it does is avalanche and cascade and expand the work we're doing and that's that's primarily the tap, and I mean we reach millions with.

00:51:27.180 --> 00:51:38.880 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Over 2 million that follow us which sometimes 100 million, a month and it's constantly growing it's growing I don't care what faith, you are what race, you are with.

00:51:39.840 --> 00:51:47.310 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Sexual orientation doesn't matter, we can all relate to the conversation with forgiveness so it's a conversation that brings us to.

00:51:47.910 --> 00:51:48.990 Graham Dobbin: And even Scottish.

00:51:49.350 --> 00:51:50.100 Dr. Shawne Duperon: Even Scott.

00:51:50.190 --> 00:51:51.000 Graham Dobbin: You can Scottish.

00:51:52.230 --> 00:51:57.240 Graham Dobbin: So that's one thing six times emmy award winner.

00:51:58.440 --> 00:52:00.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So can I just really brag for a second.

00:52:01.860 --> 00:52:02.760 Graham Dobbin: One number like.

00:52:04.020 --> 00:52:09.930 Dr. Shawne Duperon: We have more than 20 emmy nominations, we only one six times.

00:52:10.260 --> 00:52:10.470 Graham Dobbin: Oh.

00:52:10.560 --> 00:52:11.730 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And the reason I say.

00:52:11.730 --> 00:52:12.990 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That because.

00:52:14.040 --> 00:52:19.740 Dr. Shawne Duperon: about the first time that I won an emmy was after it was on my 11th nomination.

00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:31.350 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And for those that know Susan lucci and all my children, she never wanted me forever on one one after like 30 years or whatever so it's like you're never going to win an emmy was so mad and so upset.

00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:41.910 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And that's part of that forgiveness process can I forgive myself for not winning an emmy can I forgive myself for wanting one so badly.

00:52:43.050 --> 00:52:52.200 Dr. Shawne Duperon: You know, sometimes you just want something and then you feel shame, because you want it so bad, and when I was able to do some of that forgiveness work with myself.

00:52:52.860 --> 00:53:08.640 Dr. Shawne Duperon: that's when the plate starts to clear and you actually see solutions to how to do something so after this the 10th nomination and not winning I did some forgiveness work and said okay take a deep breath.

00:53:09.720 --> 00:53:18.150 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What do I need to do to win one what am I missing here, so I started going on me committees to find out what.

00:53:19.680 --> 00:53:20.820 Dr. Shawne Duperon: What a concept.

00:53:23.130 --> 00:53:29.160 Dr. Shawne Duperon: That wasn't an option for me before, so I really did my research, I really did my work.

00:53:29.610 --> 00:53:39.900 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And Lo and behold, we started winning because we were following the formula of how to win and me, and most of the stuff we won emmys on was on things that are dear to my heart, like cancer.

00:53:40.500 --> 00:53:50.340 Dr. Shawne Duperon: i'm like diversity equity inclusion that's a big piece very systemic racism, you did a documentary on a very things judges judging and key.

00:53:50.910 --> 00:54:03.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: is well known, like thurgood Marshall did some amazing things, and so I and he did some stuff on AIDS on American cancer society, as well as come on was cancer Institute.

00:54:04.350 --> 00:54:13.170 Dr. Shawne Duperon: So uh yeah so I get to everything that we went to Amazon were things that were deeply important to me, so my passion and drive and excitement was there.

00:54:14.640 --> 00:54:16.590 Graham Dobbin: Was thanks for you.

00:54:17.550 --> 00:54:18.030 The movie.

00:54:19.230 --> 00:54:22.230 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The movie you got a movie coming out i'm.

00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:26.220 Dr. Shawne Duperon: In the midst of editing now.

00:54:27.450 --> 00:54:33.870 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The reason i'm like hesitant about it is because I don't know what to do and i'm one of those that if I don't know what to do.

00:54:34.380 --> 00:54:43.440 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I like to sit and wait till I know what to do, but then there's this concept of the next right step and the next right step is just to keep moving along getting this.

00:54:43.860 --> 00:54:56.760 Dr. Shawne Duperon: documentary done because it might end up on netflix might end up on tbs I want to be so into emotionally vibration, where it needs to go and I just keep doing the next right step and it's the movie.

00:54:58.200 --> 00:55:01.170 Graham Dobbin: Do you like to tell us the name of the movie to have again.

00:55:01.530 --> 00:55:02.550 Dr. Shawne Duperon: it's called project forgive.

00:55:02.610 --> 00:55:03.870 Graham Dobbin: it's called project forgiven.

00:55:03.960 --> 00:55:12.360 Dr. Shawne Duperon: yeah it's an exploration of what forgiveness, is what it isn't and i'm going to do it first person in take everyone along on my journey of forgiving my mother.

00:55:15.300 --> 00:55:25.950 Graham Dobbin: The only other emmy award winning person i've had as a guest was a Tyler pinion he was not as as a director a movie director and what with him last year.

00:55:27.600 --> 00:55:32.130 Graham Dobbin: we've only got a couple of minutes left this this this hour has absolutely flown in.

00:55:34.650 --> 00:55:39.720 Graham Dobbin: What advice would you give if someone was struggling with forgive forgiveness.

00:55:40.110 --> 00:55:53.940 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I knew you're gonna ask that this is my favorite response when you're stuck it's like barnacles on a boat you're stuck you just you just feel curious or it's something that's happened 20 years ago when it comes up and you're still ticked off.

00:55:54.960 --> 00:56:02.880 Dr. Shawne Duperon: The way that you start loosening the barnacles on the boat is to forgive yourself, for not for Jimmy.

00:56:05.340 --> 00:56:12.750 Dr. Shawne Duperon: I can forgive about something i'm really upset about I got a couple of things that i'm personally working through and one of them is a stuffing.

00:56:13.200 --> 00:56:30.660 Dr. Shawne Duperon: And I keep practicing Sean forgive yourself, for not forgetting that person trust the process can you forgive yourself, for not forgiving and as soon as I say that already automatically can loosen up a little bit that is that's all you need to do it ain't that freakin.

00:56:31.710 --> 00:56:32.760 Graham Dobbin: Coming back full circle.

00:56:33.330 --> 00:56:45.150 Graham Dobbin: From kind of what I said at the beginning, or the people that I speak with talk about working on ourselves in leadership and how we how we how we go out to others, rather than just what else is happening and next time.

00:56:45.480 --> 00:57:01.050 Graham Dobbin: Dr Sean Thank you have run out of time i'm so sorry, and you can catch all of these are all the shores on spotify apple podcast stitcher all of these will be back next Thursday at 7pm on talk radio or the anyway see Thank you again, Dr Sean what's well good night.

00:57:02.250 --> 00:57:02.460 Graham Dobbin: bye.

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