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The Mind Behind Leadership

Thursday, March 4, 2021
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Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/04 - Finance and Life Balance

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/04 - Finance and Life Balance

 

2021/03/04 - Finance and Life Balance

[NEW EPISODE] Finance and Life Balance

Ellie Ismailidou is an award-winning media host, journalist, and certified life coach.

As a former lawyer, Ellie discovered early on the importance of hard-hitting questions to get to the bottom of the truth. As a journalist, Ellie asks the same tough questions — but instead of trying to convince a jury, she empowers everyday people around their money. Her award-winning financial-literacy show, called Explainomics, airs on MarketWatch and the Wall Street Journal video center and has helped thousands of people take control of their financial lives.


As a life coach, Ellie guides people in asking themselves the hard questions to find their own truth and the power to change their lives. Her coaching philosophy is based on two principles: facing the truth takes courage and the biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.


Ellie has been featured in a wide variety of international TV, print and online media, including the Wall Street Journal, TIME Magazine, Forbes Magazine, Fox News, WNYC radio, and many others. Her work has been honored with six Telly Awards, a Philip Greer Memorial Award, and a nomination for a Fulbright Scholar Grant.


She holds a masters degree from Columbia University's Journalism School and a law degree from Aristotle University Law School.

Tune in for this insightful conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Host Graham Dobbin opens the episode by introducing the guest, Ellie Ismailidou, an award-winning lawyer who later became a journalist. Along with her vast amount of accomplishments, Ellie also works as a life coach, aiding her clients in improving their courage. Ellie describes her journey and what threads through her multiple career and accomplishments, her constant desire to get to the bottom of things. She speaks about journalism and its core meaning of finding out what’s at the bottom of government, financial news, and in-depth interviews. She discusses the balance of life coaching, with an overreliance on feelings, and the overlook of finances and numbers, which may be the opposite in a financial business world. She explains a question she often asks her clients, which is if it is fear talking to you, or your instinct. She speaks on financial literacy, and how it is at the center of life.


Segment 2

The next segment begins with Ellie discussing life coaching, and how the biggest lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves. She speaks about how when people grow up to live out their adult lives, they believe that they are not able to carry certain tasks out. As a life coach, Ellie strives to assist people in identifying these problems and assuring them that they can complete them. She speaks about people determining who they are based on other outside elements, such as what others think of them. She speaks about how people try to prove people wrong and how they tend to rebel against what others think of them, which both contribute to similar issues. She also touches upon differences in society between growing up in Greece and then moving to New York City, and how the latter may provide people with more options, but they are still bogged down by what others say they are. Graham and Ellie are both able to bond over moving to the US and noticing high societal pressure on education. In her experience as a life coach, Ellie in which she knows that people are capable of something, but they have convinced themselves that they cannot, resulting in a feeling of hopelessness.


Segment 3

The third segment opens with Ellie speaking about her transformation in overcoming the challenge of becoming who she was meant to be and how that completed her life, throughout all of the “growing pains”. She states that she believes the journey in finding yourself happens for a reason. She and Graham both agree in learning more from bruises, and coming back after losing or failing at something teaches you to come to success. Ellie reveals her biggest challenge yet, which was moving to a different country by herself, knowing almost no one on this continent. She also discusses the importance of taking a break and looking back to observe what she had accomplished, not forcing herself to consistently keep moving forward. She also speaks about the prominence of meditation in her life, and her experiences with not speaking for four days at a time, on a retreat. The retreats were not just about talking, but also not being on her phone and avoiding chatter and other input, giving the mind the opportunity to rest and observe itself without all of the other things that are coming toward us.


Segment 4

The final segment begins with the continuation of the conversation regarding meditation and how it trains the mind to stay still and to observe what is truly happening in one’s life. Achieving this is difficult when the mind is constantly being stimulated by outside factors, such as social interaction and works. Once the mind is removed from other responsibilities, one can truly reflect and meditate. Their conversation concludes with Ellie speaking about what she wishes her impact will be five years from now, which she hopes that people will remember that she helps others develop their own minds, contributing in taking down their helplessness. She speaks about her future and how she hopes to continue working in life coaching, and how it will continue to change others lives, along with her own.


Transcript

00:00:45.360 --> 00:00:58.800 Graham Dobbin: A source of a welcome to talk radio dot nyc live from New York is the main behind the leadership you know what I was um I was preparing for this and right in my intro and I thought.

00:00:59.460 --> 00:01:12.660 Graham Dobbin: This is a, this is a great job I get the opportunity to meet and chat with people from all backgrounds all walks of life, people who have very different experiences and bring that perspective to charts on a weekly basis.

00:01:13.110 --> 00:01:23.940 Graham Dobbin: there's one theme was one thing from everyone that they've got in common, they make impact big impact and kind of that's all good to see for the interest in like because the knights guest.

00:01:24.390 --> 00:01:28.800 Graham Dobbin: is exactly that this is what impactful person listening to this.

00:01:29.190 --> 00:01:37.200 Graham Dobbin: And today's guest is ellie SMILEY do, who is an award winning media who's a journalist and certified life coach.

00:01:37.410 --> 00:01:47.640 Graham Dobbin: As a former lawyer ellie discovered early on the importance of hard hitting questions to get to the bottom of the truth that means I might be in trouble, this evening, as a journalist.

00:01:47.940 --> 00:01:57.000 Graham Dobbin: la asks for the same set of questions oops but instead of trying to convince a Judy she empowers everyday people around their money and.

00:01:57.450 --> 00:02:09.930 Graham Dobbin: Had a Ward winning financial literary show called explain oryx airs on market Watch and the Wall Street Journal video Center and help thousands of people take control of their financial lives.

00:02:10.440 --> 00:02:22.710 Graham Dobbin: As a life coach ella gated people in asking themselves those hard questions during the other way around, to find their own truth and the power to change their own lives or coaching philosophy is based on two principles.

00:02:23.220 --> 00:02:33.030 Graham Dobbin: I facing the truth takes courage which i'm sure we're gonna go some good discussion about that tonight and the biggest lies are the ones that we tell ourselves.

00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:45.210 Graham Dobbin: la has featured in a wide variety of international television print and online media, including the Wall Street Journal Time Magazine forbes magazine fox news w nyc radio and many others.

00:02:45.870 --> 00:02:52.380 Graham Dobbin: This is a pinnacle tonight and we'll talk radio dot name way see this is the one that she's been waiting to get on our work has been honored.

00:02:52.680 --> 00:03:09.570 Graham Dobbin: With six telly awards affiliate greer men men men memorial award and a nomination for a Fulbright scholar grant and she also holds a master's degree for Columbia university's journalism school and the law degree from Aristotle university law school.

00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:13.050 Graham Dobbin: Let me just take a rest really good evening.

00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:15.120 Ellie Ismailidou: Good evening surname.

00:03:15.660 --> 00:03:19.920 Graham Dobbin: really, really, you should be like 90 years old, with all this in the bag.

00:03:21.930 --> 00:03:37.290 Graham Dobbin: um How does someone go let's just let's kick right and i'm not going to ask you any tough questions so be gentle with me today, and how does someone go kind of from a lot of financial journalism to life coaching How does all the last star.

00:03:37.380 --> 00:03:46.020 Ellie Ismailidou: How does all that happen and wait till I tell you that I also did one year of Medical School it's not in my bio because I don't want to seem crazy but.

00:03:46.770 --> 00:03:50.790 Graham Dobbin: Obviously I was wondering I knew there was a gap there Medical School was it.

00:03:53.040 --> 00:04:07.560 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah it seems like an insane journey, but it does make sense to me at least, because I think the thread amid all of these different professions is just that desire to get to the bottom of things.

00:04:08.910 --> 00:04:21.600 Ellie Ismailidou: Because often people say Oh, a life coach I just want to help people, but I think what obviously helping is wonderful, but what I think what fascinates me the most is getting to the bottom of what lies behind.

00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:33.420 Ellie Ismailidou: The veneer the image that we project ourselves and others, and the same was true when I was a lawyer right, the people would come to us, I was a young lawyer in a big practice.

00:04:33.750 --> 00:04:50.910 Ellie Ismailidou: And I would see how people would come to us with all these stories and tales and how the more experienced lawyers, the partners would really ask questions that would cut through all the storytelling and journalism is the same right it's all about.

00:04:52.560 --> 00:05:02.310 Ellie Ismailidou: Finding what is at the bottom of government financial news, which is what i've dedicated 10 years of my life and.

00:05:03.210 --> 00:05:21.090 Ellie Ismailidou: And all types of you know interviews they they really often you know we see interview that are just about the fluff and then we see interviews that really take us to the bottom of things like hopefully today's interview will be running low so.

00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:23.880 Graham Dobbin: Would you would you need to tell us.

00:05:27.270 --> 00:05:37.680 Graham Dobbin: Essentially there's an interesting balance there isn't an interesting balance between i've tended academic intellectual side with the you know the one finance, but then the more.

00:05:38.070 --> 00:05:47.850 Graham Dobbin: i'm guessing there's a lot of emotional side comes in, with a financial literacy and obviously the LIFE coaching i'm don't see many people that kind of balance.

00:05:49.710 --> 00:05:51.030 Ellie Ismailidou: it's true it's.

00:05:52.470 --> 00:05:56.700 Ellie Ismailidou: And I noticed the same during my training and the coaching certifications how.

00:05:57.510 --> 00:06:09.300 Ellie Ismailidou: Often there was an over reliance on feelings and almost a rejection of traditional logic and strategic thinking and and then in.

00:06:09.690 --> 00:06:19.530 Ellie Ismailidou: The financial world we often see the exact opposite right feelings don't matter it's all about the numbers it's all about performance and beating the market and speaking of.

00:06:20.220 --> 00:06:40.740 Ellie Ismailidou: But research shows us that actually feelings are even more important in the best thing than picking the right stocks so there's research that backs the fact that feelings are important in the financial world and of course logic and strategies important in the coaching and.

00:06:41.970 --> 00:06:44.910 Ellie Ismailidou: The world of emotion and personal development.

00:06:45.870 --> 00:06:50.790 Graham Dobbin: When you talk about you, we talked my gut instinct here we'll be talking more.

00:06:52.980 --> 00:06:53.610 Ellie Ismailidou: and

00:06:54.750 --> 00:06:58.530 Ellie Ismailidou: It wouldn't be interesting to define interesting, how do you define instinct.

00:06:59.670 --> 00:07:05.430 Graham Dobbin: How do I define say that again not not not la, this is not how this watch and not something that would be.

00:07:06.510 --> 00:07:21.510 Graham Dobbin: How I would define instinct is kind of not not one thing that drives us maybe it's maybe a driver or a pool that takes you to water decision that's kind of where we're going I would define gut instinct um How would you define it that's the one.

00:07:24.120 --> 00:07:25.770 Ellie Ismailidou: And I love your definition, thank you.

00:07:25.770 --> 00:07:26.820 Ellie Ismailidou: For indulging me.

00:07:28.410 --> 00:07:31.350 Ellie Ismailidou: Like i'm a visual person, so I like to visualize.

00:07:32.400 --> 00:07:39.090 Ellie Ismailidou: thoughts feelings and instinct so thought is in the head feeling is in the heart instinct is in the gut so.

00:07:39.630 --> 00:07:45.570 Ellie Ismailidou: There is a slight difference, one would say well isn't your feelings your instinct and and and coaching one of the.

00:07:45.990 --> 00:07:55.200 Ellie Ismailidou: questions that I love to explore with clients, as is your fear talking to you or your instinct because often they sound the same right.

00:07:55.950 --> 00:08:12.420 Ellie Ismailidou: And so that distinction between I think it's easier for people to distinguish between thoughts and feelings, so the head and the heart what is harder is to distinguish between the heart and the gut which is feelings and instinct or intuition, is another word for instinct, in my opinion.

00:08:13.980 --> 00:08:20.970 Graham Dobbin: um yeah essentially what I think that you know if people are people are scared and people excited it's almost the same feeling.

00:08:21.450 --> 00:08:28.410 Graham Dobbin: Exactly you know and it's not until you can bring that into people's lives oh yeah it's that you know that anticipation.

00:08:29.490 --> 00:08:47.880 Graham Dobbin: of what might happen and that that that slight I do a lot of work around uncertainty with businesses and trying to pull pull back and how do you take uncertainty uncertainty sometimes good for us that's kind of maybe what drives us that's what does get us excited at times um and what.

00:08:49.170 --> 00:09:05.280 Graham Dobbin: We don't want I don't focus too much on this, but i'm really curious about you know you come to you all I got journalism, but the financial literacy is probably really emotionally driven So what are the challenges that people have to be, why do we need to make people financially literate.

00:09:07.260 --> 00:09:11.070 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah I could talk about that for four days.

00:09:11.640 --> 00:09:12.690 Ellie Ismailidou: How much time do you have.

00:09:14.010 --> 00:09:14.640 Graham Dobbin: As you want.

00:09:16.710 --> 00:09:32.430 Ellie Ismailidou: So back in the day let's say the 80s, the 90s, there was this misconception that it was all about finding the right expert right, you would just like hand them your money they make you rich and, obviously, that was only available to a select few.

00:09:33.930 --> 00:09:40.680 Ellie Ismailidou: People with a net worth above a certain amount of money also very.

00:09:41.940 --> 00:09:47.880 Ellie Ismailidou: Different approach for men and women, different approach for people of different ethnic backgrounds, so the traditional.

00:09:50.010 --> 00:09:58.200 Ellie Ismailidou: segregation of society was seen in the financial industry right and the perception and that and that misconception was bad.

00:09:58.500 --> 00:10:08.820 Ellie Ismailidou: You don't need to worry about it just find the right person, you know, on walls to to to do this for you, and obviously fast forward, we had the financial crisis and.

00:10:09.990 --> 00:10:21.540 Ellie Ismailidou: All of that shattered the all of them is perceptions and we stopped worshipping at the altar of wolsey and then we almost went to the other extreme of.

00:10:22.350 --> 00:10:27.570 Ellie Ismailidou: it's all corrupt it's all a scam there's no point in anything and you saw people.

00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:35.490 Ellie Ismailidou: You know not contributing to their 401 k's not building wealth right because you can build a fiber market, the truth is that.

00:10:36.030 --> 00:10:51.720 Ellie Ismailidou: You need the market to build wealth so Then we come to today's world where this new generation of financial literacy journalists, like myself, also financial advisors and educator the trying to.

00:10:53.070 --> 00:11:05.130 Ellie Ismailidou: Almost present a new way of doing things that's more balanced it's neither worshipping at the altar nor vilify it's an empowered but humble.

00:11:06.240 --> 00:11:15.960 Ellie Ismailidou: approach to the subject and I think financial literacy is at the Center of that and and personal empowerment, just like with anything else in life right with our.

00:11:16.440 --> 00:11:25.140 Ellie Ismailidou: Nutrition let's say yes, there are the experts there the doctor, but you don't wait for the doctor to feed you every day right, you will.

00:11:25.650 --> 00:11:34.350 Ellie Ismailidou: know about nutrition and cook your own healthy food and then, once a year you'll go to the doctor twice a year, or however often Someone needs to discuss your more.

00:11:34.860 --> 00:11:47.190 Ellie Ismailidou: in depth questions seek advice on specific manners then implement and then keep your mindset strong to keep doing it right because that's the biggest thing keep doing it, the same is true for financial affairs and.

00:11:49.050 --> 00:12:05.700 Ellie Ismailidou: it's a challenge to convince people that that is the case that you are in charge of your own financial destiny, which doesn't mean you know Oh, you want to be rich, like everyone can be a billionaire that's not what we're saying we're saying that putting one foot in front of the other.

00:12:08.040 --> 00:12:14.430 Graham Dobbin: I mean in the simplest terms is this a control thing just basically giving people the opportunity to take control.

00:12:16.860 --> 00:12:28.800 Ellie Ismailidou: I like to think of it as control on one side and surrender, on the other, and what do I mean by that control is control what you can control so if.

00:12:29.820 --> 00:12:39.300 Ellie Ismailidou: Someone just completely is oblivious to their own financial situation, obviously there's the lack of control, but then there's the other, the other side that.

00:12:39.750 --> 00:12:48.090 Ellie Ismailidou: showed up, especially after the financial crisis, which was too much control and questions like how do I make sure.

00:12:48.660 --> 00:12:59.310 Ellie Ismailidou: The market never falls the market rises and falls that's not the question, the question is, how can you have investments in a diversified portfolio that makes you comfortable.

00:12:59.730 --> 00:13:11.760 Ellie Ismailidou: With the inevitable drops, so that you don't panic and pull your money out at the wrong moment so control and surrender are always this this beautiful balance I can everything in life right.

00:13:13.560 --> 00:13:20.550 Ellie Ismailidou: with you our nutrition, can you go to the doctor and say what do I need to do to guarantee I will never be sick, but that will say I mean.

00:13:20.970 --> 00:13:33.930 Ellie Ismailidou: That that can have, I can tell you what you can do that will enable you to stay in the game longer, and then, when things go down staying strong, so you don't panic it's the same thing.

00:13:35.670 --> 00:13:35.820 Graham Dobbin: i'm.

00:13:36.870 --> 00:13:41.970 Graham Dobbin: Just about to go to a break, I really want to dig into this this all life coaching side.

00:13:42.840 --> 00:13:54.210 Graham Dobbin: i'm kind of see what the drivers in that and see what for what your niche i'm beginning to see that there might just be a link there where we talk about financial side and it'd be people's fear around it in the control.

00:13:55.320 --> 00:14:01.110 Graham Dobbin: But, looking at your background, there we go from lot of journalism, with a little bit medical in the middle and then.

00:14:02.880 --> 00:14:13.500 Graham Dobbin: And then live culture that doesn't seem to be natural path, and I think there's something actually beginning to come over, and I really want to explore that after the break you're listening to the main bank leadership and we're live with.

00:14:14.070 --> 00:14:22.110 Graham Dobbin: ellie SMILEY do and grim dobbin on the mind behind leadership talk radio dot nyc will be back after these.

00:14:25.980 --> 00:14:31.320 Ellie Ismailidou: Listening to talk radio nyc at www talk radio dot nyc.

00:17:25.980 --> 00:17:31.320 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the main behind leadership we are speaking with ellie each SMILEY do life coaching.

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:42.390 Graham Dobbin: And one of the things that jumped out your philosophy is facing the truth takes courage and the biggest lies are the ones that we tell ourselves.

00:17:45.360 --> 00:17:52.260 Graham Dobbin: um what do we mean by that what do we mean by the biggest lies we tell the ones that we tell ourselves.

00:17:53.460 --> 00:18:06.750 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah i've been i've been thinking a lot about that lately, because this theme that i've been seeing through people I talked to the concept of learned helplessness and this idea that.

00:18:08.130 --> 00:18:18.120 Ellie Ismailidou: A lot of people just grow up and carry into their adult lives that they are not capable to fill in the blank and it could be anything you know.

00:18:18.900 --> 00:18:36.960 Ellie Ismailidou: In the financial literacy world I see it as i'm not able to manage my money I just I don't understand those things, then it can show up and I don't do relationships i'm just bad at relationships, you know I don't I don't know how to do this thing called baiting.

00:18:38.070 --> 00:18:50.070 Ellie Ismailidou: i'm not good at taking care of my body i'm not good at you know, having healthy habits and it's this concept that we all as humans carry around with us thinking that.

00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:58.980 Ellie Ismailidou: We are not able to fill in the blank and it's alive and why would we tell that live there wasn't a payoff right and so.

00:18:59.250 --> 00:19:12.930 Ellie Ismailidou: that's that's why facing the truth takes courage, because those life developed for a reason, and I think life coaching is this amazing opportunity to uncover that so that we can create the life that we wish to create.

00:19:13.950 --> 00:19:22.860 Graham Dobbin: i'm used to it it's interesting you mentioned habits in or wrote down habits earlier when we were talking about the financial side we'll talk about kind of a learned behavior.

00:19:23.340 --> 00:19:28.680 Graham Dobbin: I when we talk about the markets were talking about watched it's kind of one thing, but when we talk about.

00:19:29.190 --> 00:19:37.950 Graham Dobbin: finances for everyday people will be going for a mortgage see we came to get into the more you get into the habit of this is how you buy a property.

00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:47.730 Graham Dobbin: And this is the length of time that you take over and it's not until people begin to understand well hold on a minute if if I just adjust this here is going to have a huge impact and.

00:19:48.390 --> 00:19:54.300 Graham Dobbin: So I see that that's always the habits that are aligned because we listen we listen to the experts, and this is what god's own.

00:19:54.720 --> 00:20:07.650 Graham Dobbin: kind of habits, do we do you think we get into and you mentioned relationships and and maybe that I can't do these kind of things did you see any common themes going on, we are habits have formed.

00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:16.830 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah so many where to start, I think one one important thing is this concept of.

00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:32.190 Ellie Ismailidou: Being externally determined right and that is, I think, very common in in the western world, especially in the United States, but the Europe, the same as it's a concept of.

00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:42.780 Ellie Ismailidou: You are who others say you are right, you cannot claim to be successful unless there is a list of.

00:20:43.770 --> 00:20:58.740 Ellie Ismailidou: You know initial of after your name or people who claim that you to be successful, or you know you can be rich until you've had that number in your network, you can be fulfilled unless.

00:20:59.370 --> 00:21:09.270 Ellie Ismailidou: Your partner, you know, especially for women that's that's a big message that Oh, you can be you know single and happy, so all these notions of.

00:21:12.570 --> 00:21:23.910 Ellie Ismailidou: Determining determining who we are based on other outside elements and then that leads to behaviors so it might lead to anything from.

00:21:24.930 --> 00:21:25.350 Ellie Ismailidou: You know.

00:21:26.370 --> 00:21:44.340 Ellie Ismailidou: The rat race, the proverbial rat rat race that we might be stuck in without fulfillment but not knowing it so it's usually what I hear is, I know this isn't working, but I don't know what could work and and it's a crisis of imagination, more than anything else, so.

00:21:45.480 --> 00:21:56.310 Ellie Ismailidou: Like you said you know it can be very obvious and things like you know, all I can manage my money, I am drowning in credit card debt and all of that that's the obvious, but then, when you look at how.

00:21:56.670 --> 00:22:20.880 Ellie Ismailidou: We live our lives, how we create chaos in our relationships and our everyday life with our bad habits and are not taking care of ourselves or too much competitiveness getting in the way of to collaboration, so all of those things are almost like addictive patterns of thought and action.

00:22:21.990 --> 00:22:33.660 Graham Dobbin: i'm a couple of things I want to pick up on the learned helplessness is is a really interesting one, I think it links to so when it going a little bit depth there but i've got this question i've got to ask.

00:22:35.190 --> 00:22:37.560 Graham Dobbin: You are who other say you are.

00:22:37.770 --> 00:22:38.340 Ellie Ismailidou: mm hmm.

00:22:39.930 --> 00:22:45.330 Graham Dobbin: Now i'm looking at someone here who achieve very highly at law school.

00:22:47.760 --> 00:22:53.520 Graham Dobbin: was a young lawyer dabbled in medicine in the right way, I need to watch her say.

00:22:56.790 --> 00:22:58.200 Graham Dobbin: Sorry, and.

00:23:01.860 --> 00:23:20.670 Graham Dobbin: then went on to journalism and it has had by any standards on extremely successful timon this What was your driver and what were other people seem to you on a boat you but building you up or were you determined to prove other people wrong.

00:23:22.950 --> 00:23:30.210 Ellie Ismailidou: I love that you asked what were you determined to prove other people wrong, because what I discovered and I did spend.

00:23:30.570 --> 00:23:39.000 Ellie Ismailidou: Many years of my life, trying to either please other people or prove them wrong and I discovered that those are two sides of the same coin.

00:23:39.360 --> 00:23:50.040 Ellie Ismailidou: And I see a lot of the people that i'm coaching struggle with the same thing from pleasing to rebelling but that pendulum is just swinging from one side to the next.

00:23:50.850 --> 00:24:07.530 Ellie Ismailidou: And you keeps missing the truth to South in the middle right as we're swinging between the two, and so yeah I mean Why did I even go to Medical School for a year right because I thought that was what would make me.

00:24:09.090 --> 00:24:17.790 Ellie Ismailidou: Especially growing up in Greece either become a doctor a lawyer or an engineer, so you know I became a lawyer and I went to Medical School for a year.

00:24:18.030 --> 00:24:30.360 Ellie Ismailidou: and thankfully I didn't go to engineering school as well just to kind of try to find this okay well if this is what society says success looks like I guess, this is why we're doing here and so.

00:24:31.620 --> 00:24:39.870 Ellie Ismailidou: That carrying that weight, I think, becomes really heavy for a lot of people, and I think one thing.

00:24:40.350 --> 00:24:48.870 Ellie Ismailidou: I have to say after moving to New York City nine years ago I discovered that thankfully here I think people grow up with more options.

00:24:49.410 --> 00:25:03.120 Ellie Ismailidou: Certainly in Greece, where I grew up, it was very much so, you know doctor lawyer engineer, and I have friends from India who said the same I have friends from early, so I don't know if certain countries have that philosophy and temperaments.

00:25:04.260 --> 00:25:23.910 Ellie Ismailidou: I haven't you know studying it as what I haven't conducted research, but I do see that that here in New York City at these people do grow up with more options, but at the same time, this are very other define meaning, you are what others say you are is.

00:25:25.560 --> 00:25:37.320 Ellie Ismailidou: ubiquitous so it's everywhere it's not it's in every country in every I mean i've lived in four different countries and i've met people from all over, and I see common everywhere oh.

00:25:37.380 --> 00:25:42.060 Graham Dobbin: cute when have you lived there before lived in four different countries increase in the US.

00:25:42.360 --> 00:26:03.600 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah I did part of law school in Spain so i'm I am trilingual so I work in Greek, Spanish and English and I lived in Barcelona, for a year and then I also have lived in the UK, because I have family they're very close to my heart.

00:26:05.340 --> 00:26:06.300 Graham Dobbin: Not Scotland go.

00:26:06.750 --> 00:26:07.980 Ellie Ismailidou: No go.

00:26:09.960 --> 00:26:18.540 Graham Dobbin: Surely interesting you're talking about you know more and more options more choices in the US, I personally coming coming to the US or three and a half years ago.

00:26:19.230 --> 00:26:32.820 Graham Dobbin: I always find it fascinating that drive and focus on education here, everyone must have a degree everybody must go to college everybody wants to do these things, I mean, I had a very good friend who is a financial advisor who.

00:26:34.440 --> 00:26:49.350 Graham Dobbin: felt that they had to go and get another college degree or another degree rather because he's college wasn't big enough or wasn't good enough and it was that kind of that judgment now just wasn't used to, but certainly they learned helplessness part of this.

00:26:51.540 --> 00:26:57.990 Graham Dobbin: it's not just like I know it's not just a right what other people see you are it's kind of the expectation on societal so it's not even.

00:26:58.230 --> 00:27:06.960 Graham Dobbin: Directly what said to just walk what's deemed the success around you can you just fill us in a little bit more about your thoughts about learned helplessness as well.

00:27:07.320 --> 00:27:09.000 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah absolutely so.

00:27:10.800 --> 00:27:23.580 Ellie Ismailidou: I started reading and and really researching around this concept when do that financial literacy work that I did I would hear a lot of very successful people.

00:27:24.390 --> 00:27:35.310 Ellie Ismailidou: very smart, by all accounts, say I don't I don't get money like I don't understand how to invest and I would think.

00:27:35.880 --> 00:27:49.890 Ellie Ismailidou: there's no chance you don't understand this, I mean you are a doctor, you are a Vice President of marketing like you there's no chance that you can understand this, something else is going on.

00:27:50.730 --> 00:27:58.560 Ellie Ismailidou: And then, so I kept pondering like what could that be, I knew it was emotional I knew it was psychological I knew it was.

00:28:00.360 --> 00:28:13.980 Ellie Ismailidou: A hidden belief in a lot of people that they cannot do this and then on the flip side I started hearing the same types of sentences when I would talk to people about my meditation practice which involves you know sitting quietly often for.

00:28:15.420 --> 00:28:28.920 Ellie Ismailidou: 10 minutes 20 minutes one hour i've done like multi day silent retreats where i'm silent for for these and people would say to me, I cannot do that I can't say I can't meditate it's an accountant that was like.

00:28:30.060 --> 00:28:41.370 Ellie Ismailidou: Everyone can you know it might be unpleasant, it might be a little unnerving but everyone can, what is it that tells us that we can't sit with our own minds for five minutes and so.

00:28:42.060 --> 00:28:53.670 Ellie Ismailidou: I see all these all these same notions that I know for a fact something as possible, but people are convinced it isn't, and that is what I understand i've learned helplessness.

00:28:54.690 --> 00:28:58.140 Graham Dobbin: it's interesting if anything's been done as possible.

00:29:04.890 --> 00:29:15.180 Graham Dobbin: And if anything's not been done, then it's not impossible until you every option and every way has been tried, so we can do it it's just about the context and and.

00:29:16.950 --> 00:29:26.100 Graham Dobbin: You know that being completed even a lot, a lot of businesses that I work with is just getting people into the context of how to do on was something just as simple as that.

00:29:27.570 --> 00:29:36.540 Graham Dobbin: But really the movement comes from something as simple as that we're about to go to break i'm really fascinated our own our own becoming who you are who.

00:29:37.230 --> 00:29:52.110 Graham Dobbin: Other see you are that learned helplessness and kind of asking yourself those tough questions because we lie to ourselves that we can't do it and that's that's kind of the synopsis and after the break I really cannot want it diggin know i'm.

00:29:53.310 --> 00:29:57.360 Graham Dobbin: Having done what you've done gives you a platform again that.

00:29:57.870 --> 00:30:05.760 Graham Dobbin: And that that's that that's maybe the biggest thing that's there but knowing what you know what What would you maybe do differently to get to this place and over the next.

00:30:06.090 --> 00:30:12.480 Graham Dobbin: few minutes as well with an acceptable want to start to explore where this is going where do you see it going, if you do.

00:30:12.840 --> 00:30:24.060 Graham Dobbin: Or are you just kind of you just go with the word let's see what happens and you're listening to the mind behind leadership we have early SMILEY and we'll be right back after this break.

00:30:26.010 --> 00:30:28.830 Ellie Ismailidou: Listening to talk radio and my.

00:30:30.780 --> 00:30:31.920 Education in.

00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:24.810 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership i'm ellie so we're just kind of spoke and we've done a bit of a deep dive into the desire.

00:33:25.890 --> 00:33:36.990 Graham Dobbin: The desire of whether people actually want to know, and how much they want to know i'm thinking about the route that you've taken to get to the to get to this point.

00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:49.410 Graham Dobbin: i'm nobody you know know what would have made that shorter, but when I mean the curve, or are you one of those that kind of said everything that i've done is brought me to this point that I can I needed to be there.

00:33:51.750 --> 00:34:05.580 Ellie Ismailidou: You know, we we all have I mean how speak for myself, I do have this fantasy that I could have been free from the constraints of wanting to be what other people want me to be earlier, but then.

00:34:06.900 --> 00:34:18.330 Ellie Ismailidou: That transformation that came from overcoming that challenge of becoming who I wanted to be couldn't have happened otherwise right so.

00:34:19.200 --> 00:34:24.630 Ellie Ismailidou: You know I love the concept of growing pains that it's like the muscle that.

00:34:25.500 --> 00:34:47.880 Ellie Ismailidou: grows when you're resting after you've been to the gym and you kind of break it down, while you do those push ups and then it grows, the day after so without that struggle without that almost digging into all the whys and all that you know all that that suffering of like why can't.

00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:59.760 Ellie Ismailidou: I just be happy with what i'm told I should be happy with that would have been the transformation that you know i'm here to help others with today.

00:35:00.150 --> 00:35:14.220 Ellie Ismailidou: So that was a long way of answering that I am definitely one of the people that think that the journey is is the magic like the journey happens for a reason and everywhere shorter, it would be a different journey.

00:35:15.150 --> 00:35:21.450 Graham Dobbin: it's cute I sometimes get questions on this and my linkedin profile a very deliberately put.

00:35:22.650 --> 00:35:31.860 Graham Dobbin: On some some really successful businesses we've won some big projects that done lots of really, really good things i'm working with some phenomenal worldwide brands know.

00:35:33.120 --> 00:35:37.950 Graham Dobbin: I learned more from the bruises I learned more from the things that didn't go right.

00:35:38.430 --> 00:35:47.910 Graham Dobbin: When I tried to tell us the sales people or the take actually winning winning a project or something isn't the difficult part is coming back after you've lost one.

00:35:48.420 --> 00:35:58.050 Graham Dobbin: it's when it doesn't work well, how do you react to it so that's always kind of been been that has not always been my mantra but but certainly for a long time.

00:35:58.500 --> 00:36:08.610 Graham Dobbin: Is you know the trophies are great, but the bruises that's that's that's what's brought me to this point so i'm curious what's been your biggest challenge.

00:36:09.330 --> 00:36:16.500 Graham Dobbin: Do you think so far for you personally kind of on this journey what's that kind of thing that's maybe just knocked you ever so slightly.

00:36:19.650 --> 00:36:20.910 Ellie Ismailidou: So many, I think.

00:36:20.910 --> 00:36:21.060 That.

00:36:22.410 --> 00:36:40.680 Ellie Ismailidou: I mean it's from challenge challenge and I love, though the Winston Churchill quote you know success is going from failure to failure without loss of i've seen it as enthusiasts or the termination who knows what he actually said, but I just love the quote.

00:36:41.850 --> 00:36:42.600 Ellie Ismailidou: So.

00:36:45.090 --> 00:36:46.740 Ellie Ismailidou: let's just say that it's.

00:36:48.180 --> 00:37:02.490 Ellie Ismailidou: let's start by the challenge of moving to a different country by myself, without knowing anybody on this continent that humbled we in ways that I never.

00:37:03.570 --> 00:37:04.950 Ellie Ismailidou: saw I see you nodding because.

00:37:04.980 --> 00:37:07.830 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah probably yeah and it's.

00:37:09.750 --> 00:37:11.490 Ellie Ismailidou: You know it's so interesting that.

00:37:12.810 --> 00:37:26.310 Ellie Ismailidou: Being an immigrant is is an experience that, from what i've read it stays in that generational Karma I use this word just the generational.

00:37:26.700 --> 00:37:38.820 Ellie Ismailidou: Experience for seven generations so this rupture of the familiar, which also brings the excitement, and the possibility of a new beginning, but it's just so.

00:37:39.570 --> 00:37:57.900 Ellie Ismailidou: It permeates everything right, and when I read that that piece of research that's done seven generations down be still feel some of that untethered and that that uneasiness like almost the lack of roots, even though seven generations down, so the person now is booted.

00:37:59.250 --> 00:38:03.030 Ellie Ismailidou: I thought yeah that that makes a lot of sense and and so.

00:38:05.010 --> 00:38:16.350 Ellie Ismailidou: it's very interesting to think of who want to be because again we're exploring this notion of who are you without everyone else, saying that you are X and y.

00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:25.680 Ellie Ismailidou: Well, moving to a new content and knowing nobody is an opportunity to experience that and not a lot of people have that chance to really.

00:38:27.900 --> 00:38:35.790 Ellie Ismailidou: See okay now now it's just me and this person with this accent, and you know the things I know and why i'm but like nobody knows me.

00:38:37.260 --> 00:38:43.710 Ellie Ismailidou: 350 million people here that nobody knows me so what's that like and how come.

00:38:44.160 --> 00:38:58.530 Ellie Ismailidou: We carry a lot of those notions of who we're supposed to be, even though we are in a new environment that nobody knows us and so again it wasn't about those others, it was about us internalizing what those others thought we were.

00:38:59.820 --> 00:39:11.250 Graham Dobbin: i'm really curious now because you know i've had I kind of a similar experience as well and, but I think back when I got here, as I say, just over three and a half years ago, how naive, I was.

00:39:12.060 --> 00:39:20.880 Graham Dobbin: At my age, and I could possibly be naive and it kind of feels like a grown up a lot when that period of time coming to a new country, not knowing people.

00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:36.870 Graham Dobbin: find you ever give yourself the opportunity to stop and say i've been included nursing Journal and Time Magazine i've got six telly awards i've done all of this box box w nyc.

00:39:38.130 --> 00:39:46.560 Graham Dobbin: When you would give yourself the opportunity to stop and say I just i've achieved this in such a short period of time.

00:39:48.840 --> 00:40:01.110 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah that take that break to talk about never came, naturally, to me, I had to cultivate that and it came to me through my meditation practice, to be honest and I had to build it.

00:40:01.440 --> 00:40:09.270 Ellie Ismailidou: Because I was one of those people that would say oh I just can't I can't take a break I can't I it's like you know, like a shark.

00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:18.240 Ellie Ismailidou: You have to keep moving or you die, I thought I was a shark and I, but something inside me said just like you mentioned earlier.

00:40:18.720 --> 00:40:25.740 Ellie Ismailidou: If it's done it's possible maybe i've never done it before but it's done by other so it's possible and.

00:40:26.610 --> 00:40:37.920 Ellie Ismailidou: I remember the first year that I moved here to New York City something drew me to my first meditation class and I remember how hard it was to sit still for five minutes, I was.

00:40:38.610 --> 00:40:43.980 Ellie Ismailidou: Getting I was so uncomfortable and I remember, even the teacher, because I was making noises moving.

00:40:44.790 --> 00:40:58.050 Ellie Ismailidou: The teacher after the class was after we all meditated she said, I could hear how uncomfortable you are and i'm like oh my gosh she could hear it and not always good to hear it, how loud was I and then.

00:40:58.680 --> 00:41:04.320 Ellie Ismailidou: Fast forward years later, getting to the place where I can do a multi day silent retreat.

00:41:04.860 --> 00:41:19.830 Ellie Ismailidou: In the mountains, where you don't talk to anybody the phone is off no TV no computer no books it's like you and your mind period and if someone had told me 10 years ago that i'd ever be able to be.

00:41:21.420 --> 00:41:33.570 Ellie Ismailidou: silent for a few days, I would have said that that's anatomy that's crazy no and it happened, but I had to build it and the first step was to believe that it could be possible.

00:41:33.990 --> 00:41:44.730 Ellie Ismailidou: Right and and that just because I have never taken a break it didn't mean that a break was impossible it just meant that I just hadn't taken one and another thing.

00:41:45.690 --> 00:41:53.130 Ellie Ismailidou: On that notion that I often talk to my clients about is that, especially in this culture in the US, the idea of.

00:41:53.670 --> 00:42:11.100 Ellie Ismailidou: I am X, so I am a crier I am a you know i'm a workaholic I am an over eater and everything is translated into I am X and what I try to always say let's change that language.

00:42:11.910 --> 00:42:33.120 Ellie Ismailidou: let's say, up until now i've tended to cry often i've tended to not take breaks i've tended up until now, so this is not, who I am it's just something I do, because we can change what we do, but the idea that we could change, who we are, is so daunting right and so.

00:42:34.380 --> 00:42:37.080 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah That was a long way of answering your question.

00:42:39.330 --> 00:42:52.560 Graham Dobbin: God i'm so you mentioned this a couple of terms of meditation be able to see silent for four minutes you said or something I can only do four minutes that's not within you didn't see for these that you did you see four days.

00:42:52.710 --> 00:42:55.020 Ellie Ismailidou: You stayed so yeah I mean my longest.

00:42:55.020 --> 00:42:56.700 Ellie Ismailidou: retreat is four days.

00:42:56.700 --> 00:43:01.290 Ellie Ismailidou: But I have friends and teachers that have done for months.

00:43:01.590 --> 00:43:03.570 Graham Dobbin: And so I know, yes.

00:43:04.980 --> 00:43:08.400 Graham Dobbin: Yes, why what does it do yeah.

00:43:11.550 --> 00:43:12.330 Ellie Ismailidou: So.

00:43:14.550 --> 00:43:16.200 Ellie Ismailidou: it's almost like.

00:43:18.810 --> 00:43:21.300 Ellie Ismailidou: Taking a break from the chatter.

00:43:22.350 --> 00:43:28.350 Ellie Ismailidou: which does not happen when we're constantly over stimulated with impact.

00:43:30.030 --> 00:43:36.090 Ellie Ismailidou: it's the meditation retreat, as I said, isn't it was not just about not talking but being on my phone and typing all day.

00:43:36.510 --> 00:43:54.330 Ellie Ismailidou: It is a cessation of all stimuli except matches thing like I could look at the rain, I could you know I it's not like they put you in a dark room with your eyesight you do spend a lot of time sitting with your eyes closed so even taking the visual stimulus out.

00:43:55.410 --> 00:44:02.370 Ellie Ismailidou: it's almost like giving the mind the opportunity to rest and observe itself.

00:44:03.510 --> 00:44:19.770 Ellie Ismailidou: And I know you'll have even more questions after I said that but, like the headline is being able to truly observe one's own mind without the stimulation of all the other things that are constantly coming at us.

00:44:20.760 --> 00:44:28.590 Graham Dobbin: you're absolutely right, I have tons of your questions were about to go to break when we come out the brain will have to continuous.

00:44:29.220 --> 00:44:44.880 Graham Dobbin: And kind of understand that what happens when the mains observing itself what happens when you know I kind of get the mechanics of it doing it in this there, but what is actually good for us what's the change in boxing box.

00:44:45.990 --> 00:45:00.540 Graham Dobbin: So good we'll explore that this team's blamed by we've got a break, to go to after that we'll look at their and our can order see what's next for me and you're listening to the main bank leadership we're with ellie SMILEY noon and we'll be back after the break.

00:45:07.380 --> 00:45:08.520 educate and.

00:47:21.690 --> 00:47:31.800 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership alley we're talking about staying silent, something that one of the very few things that i'll ever see that I can't do.

00:47:34.230 --> 00:47:35.370 Ellie Ismailidou: You haven't done yet.

00:47:36.060 --> 00:47:40.170 Graham Dobbin: I haven't done yeah but stayed silent yeah many people will confirm that um.

00:47:41.310 --> 00:47:49.530 Graham Dobbin: What does it bring us what does it bring you what's the change what's the differences mean I suppose i'm say to sell it to me, what is this yes.

00:47:50.040 --> 00:47:56.190 Ellie Ismailidou: So i'll give you an example, has it ever occurred to you that, in the middle of.

00:47:57.330 --> 00:48:04.590 Ellie Ismailidou: An emotionally charged moment whether it is anger fear anxiety frustration you.

00:48:05.790 --> 00:48:14.880 Ellie Ismailidou: your mind is racing, you have the thoughts and you're already saying the things and it's almost all gone and then you'll look back and then you start.

00:48:15.930 --> 00:48:20.340 Ellie Ismailidou: Saying Okay, I said that because I felt bad because I blah blah blah.

00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:27.810 Graham Dobbin: I may have on the odd occasion on the odd occasion says things, on reflection, regret.

00:48:31.410 --> 00:48:35.130 Ellie Ismailidou: Not even saying that you said, the wrong thing or something terrible, but that we.

00:48:35.640 --> 00:48:46.710 Ellie Ismailidou: Things are just happening our emotions our thoughts, the words, the other person's reaction and it's all gone and then we can only unpack it afterwards, because it's all happened so quickly yeah.

00:48:48.270 --> 00:48:59.880 Ellie Ismailidou: Think of meditation as a way to train the mind to be able in the moment to truly see what's going on, again, maybe we'll never all of us get there.

00:48:59.940 --> 00:49:01.290 Ellie Ismailidou: Maybe only that you know.

00:49:01.890 --> 00:49:14.250 Ellie Ismailidou: The Dalai Lama or you know, an experienced meditator but it's that training of the mind to say still and really observe what's happening.

00:49:15.270 --> 00:49:17.040 Ellie Ismailidou: And to do that.

00:49:18.330 --> 00:49:36.450 Ellie Ismailidou: it's very hard to do that when we are inundated with stimuli constantly so we're on our phones a million messages emails meetings you know mind is racing bodies we saying there's too much going on, so we never are able to see our own mind.

00:49:38.010 --> 00:49:44.040 Ellie Ismailidou: Without the stimuli, so what happens, for example in meditation retreats is you go there.

00:49:44.850 --> 00:49:53.370 Ellie Ismailidou: And you're among all the other meditators, but you can talk to them and often you don't even make eye contact, so that even that stimulus is removed.

00:49:54.300 --> 00:50:05.730 Ellie Ismailidou: And then so many meditators tell stories about how they start disliking certain meditators they're annoyed at someone oh this person really doesn't like me or.

00:50:06.090 --> 00:50:12.450 Ellie Ismailidou: They fall in love with someone and it's like, but nothing has happened so you get for the first time to see your mind.

00:50:12.990 --> 00:50:33.780 Ellie Ismailidou: Doing its thing without me the mueller's and you understand how the mind tell stories So you see it happening, you see it doing it thing removed from any real other thing happening so you can't help but see your own mind does that make sense it.

00:50:33.810 --> 00:50:41.490 Graham Dobbin: Does and I let me just kind of a practical thing that comes comes to mind here and it's really completely different level.

00:50:42.570 --> 00:50:52.110 Graham Dobbin: But one of the things has happened over the last year i've been in Manhattan through you know, since since almost a year ago today, I got back from from working in Australia.

00:50:53.010 --> 00:51:01.740 Graham Dobbin: And i've seen the kind of the evolving of what's happened in Manhattan over the over the last 12 months, so I came to New York for the vibrancy that this stimulate that everything that was happening.

00:51:01.740 --> 00:51:11.490 Graham Dobbin: And it was just great and love that and I fully fully fully bought into their lifestyle here, I was just on the go constantly then stopped.

00:51:12.300 --> 00:51:17.520 Graham Dobbin: And then you go into street there was nothing happening, then there were literally nothing literally nothing on the streets.

00:51:18.420 --> 00:51:26.820 Graham Dobbin: i've got tons of photographs mute the only person in Times Square, and all this kind of stuff and then it starts to get busier and I became more comfortable as it got busier.

00:51:27.450 --> 00:51:29.250 Ellie Ismailidou: As more so than was came back in.

00:51:30.060 --> 00:51:45.870 Graham Dobbin: It was like, no, no, this this doesn't know feel right, even though it's still not even close to where I was see 12 1314 months ago and it's interesting how we how we we almost getting that inner peace we get that we're just taking what's around us.

00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:52.590 Graham Dobbin: yeah we're not we're not shifted so I don't know if that's kind of the same thing I know it's a different level it's.

00:51:53.400 --> 00:52:01.020 Ellie Ismailidou: Something thing because it's exactly you were only able to observe that, because everything stopped.

00:52:01.350 --> 00:52:10.770 Ellie Ismailidou: upset have not stopped, you will not be able to to observe that and for other people instead of observing inner peace, they may have observed.

00:52:11.220 --> 00:52:17.910 Ellie Ismailidou: You know i'm hating everybody and i'm not really seeing anybody so what's going on well in your mind there's a lot of anger or.

00:52:18.270 --> 00:52:32.970 Ellie Ismailidou: You know i'm constantly sad or i'm constantly you know or i'm so happy or i'm peaceful and you can really see the nature of your own mind unless you remove it from all the stuff that's constantly coming at us.

00:52:34.170 --> 00:52:35.760 Ellie Ismailidou: So it's.

00:52:37.350 --> 00:52:39.330 Ellie Ismailidou: it's very it's very.

00:52:40.590 --> 00:52:45.660 Ellie Ismailidou: it's scary I mean that's the word it's scary to look at a ones on my end I bet you wouldn't have.

00:52:46.020 --> 00:52:58.770 Ellie Ismailidou: Voluntarily gone into a life, where nothing is happening, it just happened because of Kobe but they're now looking back you're like oh wow that emptiness I saw things that were not available to me in the business.

00:52:59.130 --> 00:53:03.780 Graham Dobbin: Essentially I knew I was in a special moment I can you needed to take it in.

00:53:05.400 --> 00:53:06.690 Graham Dobbin: One of the things I would do I.

00:53:06.750 --> 00:53:15.120 Graham Dobbin: would go cycling through Manhattan when there was just nothing on the streets Seattle and I knew I had to take in because it was unlikely to ever happen again, and you know borbon.

00:53:15.480 --> 00:53:25.050 Graham Dobbin: That was different and also appreciate when everybody comes across visits me know what the word like minus places busy, no, no it's not really nice quiet quiet actually.

00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:30.060 Graham Dobbin: we've got half a yard to space is quiet.

00:53:31.620 --> 00:53:42.870 Graham Dobbin: When we are quickly running over time i'm really curious you've done so much in the last nine years and five years from now, if somebody was writing about alien What would it be writing about.

00:53:45.630 --> 00:53:51.600 Ellie Ismailidou: Well, one can only dream, but but truly my my wish and desire is that they'd be writing that.

00:53:52.650 --> 00:54:04.260 Ellie Ismailidou: I help more people look at the truth of their own lives courageously and look at their own minds look at their own hearts discover the true instinct.

00:54:06.090 --> 00:54:22.800 Ellie Ismailidou: And unlearn the learned helplessness so it's just about spreading that message and it literally happens one person at a time, and I think often we get caught up in the cumulative effect of.

00:54:23.970 --> 00:54:36.150 Ellie Ismailidou: The years or that dozens of people but it's the moment of talking to one person, and then they get something from it and it's so rewarding and fulfilling.

00:54:37.410 --> 00:54:40.770 Graham Dobbin: This just there's a book or you know i've mentioned the software industry.

00:54:41.850 --> 00:54:49.620 Graham Dobbin: there's a book Mitchell bombs book and the five people you meet in heaven done if you have ever read it and it's kind of what is it just around that thing was just around.

00:54:50.010 --> 00:55:02.010 Graham Dobbin: When this person was to having the see that people who have impacted and there's not who you think it is it's just you know that that small gestures that it's that insight that we give people i'm consistently i'm.

00:55:02.940 --> 00:55:13.620 Graham Dobbin: ellie it's been an absolute pleasure to speak to you i'm just curious and we're going to keep on going with the financial literacy, as well as the LIFE coaching is that Canada plan.

00:55:15.450 --> 00:55:16.470 Graham Dobbin: Practical Simon.

00:55:16.770 --> 00:55:18.720 Graham Dobbin: And I see the fluffy site.

00:55:19.110 --> 00:55:22.740 Graham Dobbin: Because that's what we're seeing is that so we've seen um.

00:55:23.070 --> 00:55:23.460 Ellie Ismailidou: yeah.

00:55:23.760 --> 00:55:27.330 Graham Dobbin: And it's just getting the combination, so we are going to still have that yes.

00:55:27.420 --> 00:55:35.220 Ellie Ismailidou: Yes, because it's all interconnected and I love that saying how I do anything is how I do everything, I think, for all of us.

00:55:35.640 --> 00:55:52.620 Ellie Ismailidou: how we handle our money, how we handle our love life, how we handle our own mind usually we have the same patterns in everything and so healing one thing heals everything so it's just a matter of taking that break to look courageously so.

00:55:53.100 --> 00:55:54.510 Graham Dobbin: don't do anything.

00:55:54.570 --> 00:55:56.820 Graham Dobbin: How I do anything is how I do everything.

00:55:57.120 --> 00:56:05.910 Graham Dobbin: Yes, and you are how other see you we've had learned helplessness tonight we've talked about freeing yourself from the constraints.

00:56:06.330 --> 00:56:21.540 Graham Dobbin: of others, which really came into context and ellie is you smelly do Thank you so much for your time i'm going to really keep an eye on on where you go next and that's going to be fairly easy because.

00:56:21.990 --> 00:56:32.610 Graham Dobbin: uber to see it and you'll be listening to the main bank leadership live on talk radio dot nyc you've got a special show next week I to mark International women's day.

00:56:33.390 --> 00:56:50.340 Graham Dobbin: We have a very special show the beat to the boardroom thanks to some leibovitz for this evening, hopefully, you can join us again, you can capture a rerun of any of the shows are three of normal podcast platforms have a good evening good night.

download this episode of https://tabmaron.s3.amazonaws.com/talkinga/recordedshows/TMB/20210304-TMBL-Finance_and_Life_Balance.mp3

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