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The Mind Behind Leadership

Thursday, February 25, 2021
25
Feb
Facebook Live Video from 2021/02/25 - Being Connected

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/02/25 - Being Connected

 

2021/02/25 - Being Connected

[NEW EPISODE] Being Connected

As the Host on the Power of Connection in BIZ, show, Kimberly Layne interviews companies and leaders who desire a professional medium to communicate their unique "Power of Connection," with their employees and or customers in order to motivate and retain employees, and to demonstrate how much they value their customers for better customer retention. 

 

Tune in for this insightful conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

The episode starts with Graham Dobbin introducing the guest, Kimberly Layne, who specializes in employee and leadership development. Kimberly describes how connection is key in the workplace, and how they are essential in getting the best work out of your employees. Personal, trustworthy relationships in a workplace are key to succeeding. It helps people feel validated, which will eventually be shown through their work. When an employee feels that they are trusted, they will feel confident enough to fully and successfully complete their work. Kimberly also discusses how digital communication can largely take the emotion out of conversations, which can constantly result in mistaken feelings and words.

Segment 2

The second segment continues the conversation about how emotions may be lost through digital communication, although visually connecting through software like zoom may remedy that. Kimberly discusses the importance of chemistry in the workplace and how we need to be cognizant when choosing to use digital communication rather than human connection moving forward. She continues to speak about frustrations that may stem from being left in the house and how this time may result in a new type of bonding and interaction, and other benefits in communication that may come from social distancing and lockdown. They also discuss the importance of personal and interpersonal validation and how it helps both leaders and their employees.

Segment 3

The third segment begins with a discussion on vulnerable leadership. Kimberly explains that it’s important to be vulnerable to remember that we are all human, reminding others that it is acceptable to not be at the top of their game right away. It’s important for employees to realize that their bosses may not be perfect, further contributing to them giving their best work, as was discussed previously. Kimberly also discusses the differences between millennial working and learning habits and how that may affect the future of the workplace. She speaks on creating a coaching relationship with the next generation of the workforce, since she believes that they may not be as loyal and dedicated as previous generations before, doing what they want to do and not spending time on something that they do not personally believe in. Kimberly speaks about who she likes working with, such as leaders who want to make an impact. She also states that she hopes the workplace will become the new “community” place in our society, since churches and other community centers are now somewhat outdated and nonexistent. She moves to speak about social media, and how if people focus too much on communication on social media, they will never experience the crucial human connection and communication and how that may result in a feeling of isolation.

Segment 4

The final segment opens with Kimberly speaking more about her new book and the inspiration behind it. The book was caused by her being taken aback by millennials being too attached to their phones to form personal connections, along with the alarming rates of suicide that were most likely caused by the growth of the internet and social media. The book emphasizes how it may be damaging to society and its future leaders by not having in-person, human connection. Kimberly shares that everywhere that she has gotten in her career is because she liked and cared about the people that she has worked with. The episode ends by Kimberly sharing the importance of facing your fear, making it clear that we cannot let fear stop us from doing anything in our lives.


Transcript

00:00:33.390 --> 00:00:37.980 Graham Dobbin: Good evening and welcome to the mind behind leadership life here on talk radio dot nyc.

00:00:38.370 --> 00:00:40.500 Graham Dobbin: I live in New York, my name is Graham dobbin.

00:00:40.590 --> 00:00:55.620 Graham Dobbin: And every week we pick up aspects of leadership that matter, you know issues that need to be dealt with that we work with on a daily basis, and recently we've had best selling authors don lions and Sam leibovitz on, and you can catch them.

00:00:55.620 --> 00:01:01.680 Graham Dobbin: Again on apple podcast spotify stitcher all the usual podcast platforms.

00:01:01.860 --> 00:01:06.060 Graham Dobbin: are coming up we've got Elliot smelly do from market watch TV.

00:01:06.300 --> 00:01:09.420 Graham Dobbin: Which is part of the Wall Street Journal and.

00:01:09.750 --> 00:01:14.190 Graham Dobbin: 16th emmy award winner Dr Sean deeper on and.

00:01:14.400 --> 00:01:22.770 Graham Dobbin: i'm so keep listening, for a very special shorter mark International women's day march really looking forward to that one we're going to take.

00:01:22.800 --> 00:01:31.110 Graham Dobbin: leadership from a completely different angle, I tonight we're going to talk about connections and leadership development.

00:01:31.890 --> 00:01:43.950 Graham Dobbin: tonight's guest is Kimberly lane and Kimberly is the owner and principal of consultancy from KC see I she advisors and coaches leaders at all levels, on how to become conscious.

00:01:44.370 --> 00:01:53.250 Graham Dobbin: And connected Kimberly says that this the soft stuff that makes the how stuff works so we're kind of we're going to dig in and explore that a little bit and kind of understand.

00:01:53.670 --> 00:02:04.920 Graham Dobbin: What the what the approaches there and she's a professional speaker and educates through keynotes and workshops and there's also a horse of the power of connection in this show on YouTube.

00:02:05.430 --> 00:02:11.100 Graham Dobbin: Now, as always we don't get to this point, without having some experience in kimberly's got over 20 years experience.

00:02:11.370 --> 00:02:19.920 Graham Dobbin: As a top business development executive with fortune 100 companies so best selling author, with the book connecting changes everything.

00:02:20.490 --> 00:02:29.580 Graham Dobbin: she's an international certified coach when I see if she's a big sense of I consult when a green belt lean six Sigma and she's also in Cambridge who's who's.

00:02:30.600 --> 00:02:40.080 Graham Dobbin: Which is not doing any of that which I don't know I just got time for anything else, she does eat, which is good drinks wine likes tennis cheesecake and a ship Sue Simon.

00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:43.740 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Welcome to the HR background there sorry about.

00:02:43.740 --> 00:02:48.750 Graham Dobbin: That absolutely um we've got two for one this evening good see Kimberly.

00:02:49.260 --> 00:02:51.150 Graham Dobbin: i'm just like man thanks for coming on.

00:02:51.570 --> 00:03:00.030 Graham Dobbin: i'm just to kick us off really just give us a little bit of background, how did you get to to where you are tell us what you do what you enjoy.

00:03:02.820 --> 00:03:08.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know it's never a straight a straight path that's always a circuitous path, and I think sometimes the universe's.

00:03:09.570 --> 00:03:17.370 Kimberly - Executive Coach: provide opportunities it's really about taking advantage of opportunities, you know you mentioned my 20 years plus of experience as an executive.

00:03:17.760 --> 00:03:23.040 Kimberly - Executive Coach: working for fortune 100 companies and my last executive position, I was starting.

00:03:23.340 --> 00:03:34.500 Kimberly - Executive Coach: With working with the startup company will not name the company and was hired to build out their health vertical specifically in the customer service gig economy space it working using individual are working from home.

00:03:35.220 --> 00:03:39.870 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And offered customer service for healthcare entities, whether they were.

00:03:40.650 --> 00:03:51.510 Kimberly - Executive Coach: stuck like blue cross Blue Shield or hospital systems or signal, but you know it was before you know, obviously you uber was out and.

00:03:52.020 --> 00:04:01.140 Kimberly - Executive Coach: lift, but it was not a very exact acceptable gig economy and healthcare space and anybody that has no self care it's a very conservative industry i'm risk averse etc so.

00:04:01.860 --> 00:04:09.120 Kimberly - Executive Coach: that's your company, I was working with got bought and then they decided they want to stay in the healthcare space, so they let me go so.

00:04:09.390 --> 00:04:16.740 Kimberly - Executive Coach: That was about the time I just was burned out on travel things that typically happen for all those of us that have been working in corporate America and been successful.

00:04:17.460 --> 00:04:28.380 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Just was tired of the rat race, and so I said i'm gonna do something on my own and that kind of led to me writing the book called connections change everything is right behind me here conveniently and to look at.

00:04:28.950 --> 00:04:41.670 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, actually having had pulled leaders in my past experience and knowing how difficult that is to create a positive work environment into achieve I decided to focus on leaders to improve that environment through coaching as well, so.

00:04:42.390 --> 00:04:50.340 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, and then just just always loving to be onstage and loving to share a message and really feeling that, if I can get two leaders who then can.

00:04:50.670 --> 00:05:02.910 Kimberly - Executive Coach: To adopt this constantly connected leadership we can impact more people subsequently right and and in number wise with me just working with one individual at a time, so, hence this event so then it's your question.

00:05:04.350 --> 00:05:16.710 Graham Dobbin: It does i'm i'm curious what is poor leadership would like surely interesting on on an issue we talk regularly about good leadership i'm curious what your thoughts on what food right.

00:05:17.310 --> 00:05:17.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah so.

00:05:18.030 --> 00:05:19.680 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know I just remember.

00:05:20.850 --> 00:05:26.280 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I was in a sales position at one time, and my sales leader would.

00:05:27.330 --> 00:05:36.960 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Every week, we would have a team meeting right that will talk about what are you selling what your clothes, what are you going to sell next week to just talk to what's your pipeline right and.

00:05:38.010 --> 00:05:43.440 Kimberly - Executive Coach: That was a team meeting and then suppose we would have one on ones at least once a week or at least twice a month.

00:05:43.710 --> 00:05:51.480 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In order to talk about personal goals business goals are things going, how can I help you well those personal meetings benevolently always got canceled.

00:05:51.870 --> 00:05:59.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And then, if you're not actually the weekly calls with the team would get counsel because he had something better to do or meeting or whatever and.

00:06:01.080 --> 00:06:09.810 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The team itself felt very disconnected such the fact that I took an online initiative to get the team together on a regular basis for talking about what was going on.

00:06:10.020 --> 00:06:18.630 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Just help support each other and to help drive our business so absent of our manager, so you know, I think, especially now living in this virtual environment.

00:06:18.840 --> 00:06:28.050 Kimberly - Executive Coach: We cannot let go of the need to communicate and connect with our people in a relationship perspective, your job as a leader is to be.

00:06:28.380 --> 00:06:33.630 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In a relationship with your people, and if you feel like you're only consistent enough to really.

00:06:33.990 --> 00:06:46.260 Kimberly - Executive Coach: lead to a target, ie a sales quota or revenue number of project deadline you're missing the boat your team as though you're supposed to be leading your team through the relationships you've built with them this last up to get that hard stuff.

00:06:47.220 --> 00:06:57.270 Graham Dobbin: i'm going to come to that a little bit later, but but but kind of let's call them know you mentioned the soft stuff brings the hard stuff well, what do we mean by that.

00:06:57.300 --> 00:07:01.200 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So when you're you know statistics show that when people are happier at work.

00:07:02.700 --> 00:07:13.230 Kimberly - Executive Coach: They perform better when when 40% of employees say when they constantly get affirmations from are good job great job thanks for turning into a proposal and.

00:07:13.950 --> 00:07:21.990 Kimberly - Executive Coach: They will naturally want to do their job better so when people are happier at work, it just naturally present, they are happy to spend more time their work harder.

00:07:22.140 --> 00:07:31.650 Kimberly - Executive Coach: and give more effort and be more engaged and that only adds to you know profitability getting the hard stuff done, I mean wouldn't you rather be working on a project with people that you like.

00:07:31.890 --> 00:07:39.930 Kimberly - Executive Coach: it's a fun atmosphere, you can be yourself, you can joke, but yet say you know i'm not getting that I mean you have a hard time i'm having difficulty with this client.

00:07:40.140 --> 00:07:45.990 Kimberly - Executive Coach: isn't that much more fun to be working with somebody and a team and a leader that gets you and helps understand you.

00:07:46.230 --> 00:07:54.300 Kimberly - Executive Coach: and work through those issues versus just having be clammed up it just try to plug through the process people don't last in those environments anymore it's just it's not sustainable.

00:07:55.380 --> 00:08:02.430 Graham Dobbin: Okay, so and what i'm hearing is they kind of an open dialogue is is really important.

00:08:03.420 --> 00:08:07.260 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Open dialogue, but I think sincerity showing you care, I think.

00:08:08.310 --> 00:08:10.500 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know I talked about relationships so.

00:08:11.640 --> 00:08:20.790 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Especially now, in this virtual environment, you need to have a relationship with each one of your employees separate of what the team is right, so you need to be able to sense that.

00:08:21.510 --> 00:08:25.350 Kimberly - Executive Coach: gosh Charlie I noticed on the recent zoom call you see me pulling back from the team.

00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:33.270 Kimberly - Executive Coach: call them up and say is something going on, you have any challenges here at home, you know, being able to have those personal conversation you build the trust level, though you can't.

00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:41.130 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Have those conversations if you've not been able to build that trust level with an individual by spending time with them by investing time with them, ie.

00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:48.420 Kimberly - Executive Coach: getting to know them, I mean it's important as a leader to really do a lot of listening versus talking it's about.

00:08:48.900 --> 00:09:02.250 Kimberly - Executive Coach: what's important in their life what what hobbies outside or drive them inside of work right what's going on with their family it's you've got to be able to know your people as people first, in order to empower them as people in the office.

00:09:02.550 --> 00:09:10.590 Graham Dobbin: And connection work again How does that, so if we know them personally, I mean i'm in agreement with you i'm gonna agree with.

00:09:12.690 --> 00:09:21.990 Graham Dobbin: And if we know them personally what in view, in your view binders that drive engagement or the heart stuff when we when we're looking at that.

00:09:22.020 --> 00:09:31.050 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And you know them personally so okay everybody wants to feel value right everybody wants to feel her, and so, when you have a relationship with somebody that you trust.

00:09:32.100 --> 00:09:38.160 Kimberly - Executive Coach: That has your back that's invested in you, that makes you feel valued that approves of what you're doing.

00:09:40.860 --> 00:09:53.100 Kimberly - Executive Coach: cares when you do good or not I mean people people just feel like they belong, they feel on to something bigger than themselves there they matter what they're doing matters.

00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:59.340 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know just simply looking into people's eyes as a final validation it's the first sign of validation of existence.

00:09:59.580 --> 00:10:06.180 Kimberly - Executive Coach: For us, when we're born and it's, the first thing we get from our parents to look into her eyes and when you as a leader communicating and you're looking into.

00:10:06.390 --> 00:10:15.930 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Your you know plays eyes and listening to what they have to say, being empathetic and hearing what they have to say, all those things playing to.

00:10:16.440 --> 00:10:26.760 Kimberly - Executive Coach: them really trusting you and really feeling that you care about them as people and when they feel that they can truly be themselves waster opinion feel valued.

00:10:27.390 --> 00:10:35.520 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The what to do their best work because they feel like the work they're doing is going to be validated and recognized by you sincerely that make sense.

00:10:35.670 --> 00:10:40.110 Graham Dobbin: yeah it does it does is it's kind of interesting that.

00:10:41.790 --> 00:10:49.020 Graham Dobbin: We talk a lot about skills and not tell you what I do kind of a little while but we talked about what about skills and forget about the application, a bit.

00:10:49.320 --> 00:10:57.480 Graham Dobbin: about how people actually get engaged with it, so what drives you why why, why is this, something that is obviously passionate for you can believe.

00:10:59.310 --> 00:11:07.980 Kimberly - Executive Coach: wow that's a loaded question and, if you read the first chapter of my book is I tell my personal story i'm not going to give it away here a bit i'll share that.

00:11:09.060 --> 00:11:17.370 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know I through some personal things that happened in my life I was disconnected for like daily at an early age, not physically but emotionally.

00:11:17.850 --> 00:11:27.630 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And that made such a huge impact on me as an individual as a woman, as a person, and I fought to get that connection back with my family I do whether it's.

00:11:28.260 --> 00:11:40.980 Kimberly - Executive Coach: psychotherapy lot of self help reading, you know so that became such an important part to me and and knowing how disconnected I felt and depressed depressed I feel how.

00:11:42.840 --> 00:11:51.540 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Not a sense of community and how talented that wasn't alone and I guess i'm I guess what instigated the book piece about was that.

00:11:52.950 --> 00:12:02.550 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I, I feel, with all this proliferation of technology it's great we're able to do this right you're in New York i'm in California wonderful beautiful.

00:12:03.090 --> 00:12:13.440 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, we could talk to anybody anywhere at any time, even on zoom rate, but I do feel in an essence we are committing digital suicide because.

00:12:14.580 --> 00:12:19.020 Kimberly - Executive Coach: We all need the basics of human connection, we need to feel valued.

00:12:20.160 --> 00:12:28.020 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Whether it's in any relationship, whether it's at work by your leader and it's somebody you know significant other or your kids we all need to feel valued and worthy right.

00:12:28.500 --> 00:12:40.620 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And we all need to feel the energy and bonding of other people and that's it studies are so if you just can't get that over a zoom presentation you can't get that over a text or an email.

00:12:41.520 --> 00:12:50.190 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Why because digital technology removes the emotion of the equation, and his emotion is my bonds us as people.

00:12:52.470 --> 00:12:58.320 Kimberly - Executive Coach: We we are, we are emotionally years, so you know why, why does it happen when you send a text to somebody.

00:12:58.560 --> 00:13:03.600 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And you're having some kind of dialogue and text you can get these misrepresentations of what's being said because.

00:13:03.870 --> 00:13:15.690 Kimberly - Executive Coach: We don't know the emotion behind it, we don't hear the tone of the voice we don't hear the fluctuations of the voice we don't see the tears and somebody die or the smile on their face we don't see that a movement data moves and then so.

00:13:16.350 --> 00:13:23.700 Kimberly - Executive Coach: All that stuff became very prevalent, to me it just started to kind of observe from afar, how digital technology is bringing us.

00:13:25.620 --> 00:13:28.380 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In ways we're not thinking about as much as it's helping us.

00:13:30.360 --> 00:13:39.060 Graham Dobbin: I mean digital technology, obviously, you know will kind of be for stone will will will explore that a little bit more after the break, but we have been forced down that route and people.

00:13:40.350 --> 00:13:42.600 Graham Dobbin: are doing what they can.

00:13:42.870 --> 00:13:52.050 Graham Dobbin: Like what they were what they've got the moment and i'm sure that will change but i'm going to be interested after the Baker as well, in your opinion, of what will happen when we.

00:13:53.070 --> 00:13:56.400 Graham Dobbin: eat this phrase about traveling you know, going back to normal.

00:13:56.850 --> 00:14:04.260 Graham Dobbin: But what will happen when we've not got sort of some of the restrictions that are going on but we'll discuss that after the break you're listening to the mainland leadership.

00:14:04.740 --> 00:14:12.600 Graham Dobbin: Here on live on talk radio dot nyc grim dobbin we're speaking with Kimberly lane, I will be right back after these.

00:17:14.250 --> 00:17:23.790 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the buying buying leadership we're speaking with Kimberly lane and just before the break, we were talking about kind of that digital connection about how.

00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:31.350 Graham Dobbin: You know how maybe some things are lost, I wonder if, when we talk about you know when we talk about text messages and emails.

00:17:31.770 --> 00:17:47.310 Graham Dobbin: And then we talk about kind of this type of interaction, so if anybody's watching us on Facebook live we're here, you know we're here, using using video, I wonder if there's a big difference, and this has been a good halfway house for companies so far.

00:17:47.940 --> 00:17:55.050 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah I mean I don't I think it's, especially now, I don't know what we would have done without this opportunity.

00:17:55.440 --> 00:18:05.790 Kimberly - Executive Coach: digitally connected to or be able to see each other visually, especially if you're meeting new people having new conversations, it certainly helps accelerate the ability to connect.

00:18:07.290 --> 00:18:17.340 Kimberly - Executive Coach: There is a article that came out the Wall Street Journal what's called the science of connection it came out right about I would say April of last year, right after their pandemic and what they did is they compared.

00:18:17.670 --> 00:18:25.770 Kimberly - Executive Coach: two groups one group was a set of parents and their baby and they would communicate to the child, the baby.

00:18:26.370 --> 00:18:38.010 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In person in a new language over a couple months, and then the second group was parents with their baby, but they would communicate to the baby in a new language over zoom and it showed that.

00:18:39.300 --> 00:18:45.930 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The children or the babies that were listening to their parents talk to them in a new language over zoom learn absolutely nothing.

00:18:46.350 --> 00:18:57.270 Kimberly - Executive Coach: versus the previous group that was in person learned the new language, and so I think a lot of it's because of that time delay you're getting that time delay on voice on eye contact all that social.

00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:03.090 Kimberly - Executive Coach: body language is on a time delay and so it's non sequitur with what you're actually hearing seeing and so.

00:19:03.270 --> 00:19:12.390 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I think subconsciously you're not able to get that bond or that trust or that that connection I need to do more research on that, but I thought that was an interesting article so.

00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:19.110 Kimberly - Executive Coach: there's you know it's it's kind of like when you walk into a room.

00:19:20.340 --> 00:19:28.830 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You could feel the energy in that room whether somebody was having a great conversation, whether they were laughing whether they just had an argument you know.

00:19:29.490 --> 00:19:42.450 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You could hear a pin drop you could you could feel the stress in the air right you're not going to get that other than by facial expressions, possibly in a virtual situation right and i'm going to be curious to see.

00:19:44.670 --> 00:19:45.990 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Sales people.

00:19:46.500 --> 00:19:53.820 Kimberly - Executive Coach: are able to have a lot more sales calls on a daily basis right because I have zoom meetings back to back to back, but i'm going to be curious to see.

00:19:53.940 --> 00:20:02.400 Kimberly - Executive Coach: How many of those actually become closed deals in a year or 18 months or whatever it is what's the percentage of closing rates, because we missing that.

00:20:02.850 --> 00:20:13.140 Kimberly - Executive Coach: bonding that happens in person with that energy exchange right that's that is just the chemistry, you know it's a chemistry that you can't define and you can't.

00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:23.700 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You can't put a description on you can't manufacturer it's missing in this interaction right as much as we'd love to have it here so we're doing the best we can, and and I, this is a great tool i'm just.

00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:38.400 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I think we need to be, we need to be cognizant and conscious about when we choose to use digital interaction for communication method or we choose human connection and that has to be more of a conscious.

00:20:39.900 --> 00:20:42.480 Kimberly - Executive Coach: ask of ourselves, I think, moving forward.

00:20:43.050 --> 00:20:50.910 Graham Dobbin: Since I said we're going to have another guest coming up is Stephen whole gates and in March, and he is.

00:20:51.930 --> 00:21:02.250 Graham Dobbin: Very well run sales leader and one of the one of the things that he's been working on, specifically with his some global accounts on how they can have their sales teams connect.

00:21:02.610 --> 00:21:15.300 Graham Dobbin: I like this, how they do it kind of a distance and it's really interesting that something that we maybe would have thought 12 months ago that just wouldn't happen how people that I that I mean i'm.

00:21:15.750 --> 00:21:25.080 Graham Dobbin: i'm lucky enough in my job that i've been working in this week with teams in Bangalore Sydney San Francisco Toronto all over.

00:21:26.070 --> 00:21:40.950 Graham Dobbin: And it's it's never fails to amaze with kind of the ingenuity that comes up on how they connect, especially in sales, so what you lose sometimes on that personal connection sometimes it's actually easier to get to someone.

00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:50.370 Graham Dobbin: or were invited into someone's home, which is all of a sudden now we've gotten that little bit of a bit of a different.

00:21:51.480 --> 00:22:02.520 Graham Dobbin: starting point to the relationship when we've got that that personal part and one of the things i'm always telling sales teams, but look just be respectful your in your potentially it's of these home.

00:22:03.090 --> 00:22:08.160 Graham Dobbin: And you don't know what's going on beside them they might have you might have Sammy next to them, you know.

00:22:10.110 --> 00:22:22.110 Graham Dobbin: So I wonder if sometimes it actually gives us a lot of opportunities and i'm going to be curious their their relationships that have been built over the last year, how they continue outside.

00:22:22.500 --> 00:22:33.900 Graham Dobbin: And I almost this up personal opinion almost feel that anything that's been built over the last year will be even stronger when we get together, then it would have been if it was just kind of the traditional way sure.

00:22:33.990 --> 00:22:35.940 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I think, because because we're all going.

00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:41.220 Kimberly - Executive Coach: we're all going through this together and there's not one person, that is not experiencing that.

00:22:41.910 --> 00:22:51.540 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Frustration of being isolated or disconnected or not able to leave the House or confined or there's not one person, that is not feeling it so we're all in this together so.

00:22:52.050 --> 00:22:59.490 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, oh my gosh I met you during you know the whole pandemic, I mean it's going to be a bonding factor moving forward and i'm.

00:23:00.060 --> 00:23:06.450 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I feel, will will try to take the best of both worlds, where you know this has made a lot more accessible when.

00:23:06.870 --> 00:23:13.650 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, people are commuting anywhere they're not committing to an office and not committing to a sales meeting or another in person meeting or board meeting or at home.

00:23:13.830 --> 00:23:24.750 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So they're more accessible for you and we're probably looking for you to interrupt them by picking up the phone and calling them so they can have kinds of personal interaction, so I think that's a beautiful thing, people are more accessible.

00:23:25.350 --> 00:23:33.090 Kimberly - Executive Coach: For me, also coming on to your now you're getting a vision into my world right in my home my office my Home Office, we read my dog, you know.

00:23:33.330 --> 00:23:40.590 Kimberly - Executive Coach: or there there's a kid running through you know you, you are, you can see there's a picture of the family in the back wall, or you know them their first.

00:23:40.920 --> 00:23:54.840 Kimberly - Executive Coach: One hole in one whatever you get an image and get a picture of people that you don't necessarily got right away when you first meet somebody in the office right, so I agree with you there are you there are some other bonuses in this whole.

00:23:56.070 --> 00:23:58.230 Kimberly - Executive Coach: situation so totally agree with you.

00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:15.060 Graham Dobbin: So we talked about kind of what poor leadership is and the challenges I know the challenges are coming out maybe that distance, so we kind of got into sales but let's pop back into the you know the leadership side of things and.

00:24:17.460 --> 00:24:30.840 Graham Dobbin: We know what needs to be done, what do you think the challenges are for leaders on making sure that they've got teams engaged and everything, so it all kind of good looks like it looks like school, what do we think the challenge is online.

00:24:31.350 --> 00:24:35.340 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Well it's you know it's I think as a leader, today, you know.

00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:43.320 Kimberly - Executive Coach: there's, so much so many other things, you need to be paying attention to versus you know when when we were meeting in offices and.

00:24:43.590 --> 00:24:49.230 Kimberly - Executive Coach: going to a corporate office or a headquarters or a main office, and you know, things were kind of running smoothly, as far as.

00:24:49.560 --> 00:24:59.100 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know it's getting the project on or getting the sales quota, or you know running the company, but now we've got so many more factors of leaders, we need to be considering, we need to consider.

00:24:59.430 --> 00:25:08.280 Kimberly - Executive Coach: people's health and well being are they going to feel safe when they come back to work, are they feeling safe at home, you know, are we communicating properly, are we communicating enough.

00:25:09.570 --> 00:25:22.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You have to be conscious of how people are doing, are they depressed or the healing disconnected because of the whole isolation, with the pandemic me it's almost like you've got to be a counselor you've got to be.

00:25:23.070 --> 00:25:28.950 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Really in tune with how you're feeling because you're not always going to be 100% going through it whatever you're going through too so.

00:25:29.460 --> 00:25:35.340 Kimberly - Executive Coach: you're trying to be a leader, while you're also trying to move through this yourself it's not been done before right.

00:25:35.670 --> 00:25:47.940 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Do you have any highly adaptable, you have to be able to read people pretty well, you have to be realistic about being vulnerable about what you can and can't do and we're not going to always have all the answers, and I think.

00:25:48.870 --> 00:25:53.880 Kimberly - Executive Coach: we've got to be able to rely on our teams and be vulnerable enough to ask questions about.

00:25:54.210 --> 00:26:02.310 Kimberly - Executive Coach: What are some great ideas to get through this you know you know we're running into a deadline or not sure we're going to make it as team, but what's everybody suggestion I mean we have to be able to.

00:26:03.300 --> 00:26:15.090 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, be more collaborative you know there were times when I think we need to tell people what needs to be done from a hierarchical perspective, but I think there was a lot of times, where we need to do a little bit more collaboration.

00:26:17.490 --> 00:26:29.730 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I think you know I always talk about kind of your coaches, a leader I don't know if any of you had those parents were when you were doing something right they certainly took over and told you how to do it right and.

00:26:30.780 --> 00:26:32.550 Graham Dobbin: i'm Scottish you know we.

00:26:34.650 --> 00:26:36.300 Graham Dobbin: tend to be fairly direct.

00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:43.710 Kimberly - Executive Coach: i'm German so Mike was like you know you're not doing this right and stopping and so How does that make you feel.

00:26:44.580 --> 00:26:55.260 Kimberly - Executive Coach: horrible and so as a leader, if you can say you know you know hey let me help you, what do you think the next step is, why do you think that's going to work or.

00:26:55.620 --> 00:27:05.520 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Have a love do, why do you think that didn't work or you know what do you think you could have done differently or how do you think the meeting when or would you think of the response of the client, do you think they liked it you just.

00:27:06.150 --> 00:27:11.730 Kimberly - Executive Coach: What can you do better it's it's it's helping them come up with the answers and so it's not like you attacking them.

00:27:11.940 --> 00:27:22.710 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And then getting on the defensive, because we know, none of us want to be on the defensive none of us want to feel bad about ourselves and it's our role as a leader where's my neighbor is getting on his motorcycle and.

00:27:24.270 --> 00:27:29.940 Kimberly - Executive Coach: it's our job as a leader I especially in these times because there's so much going on in families and.

00:27:30.390 --> 00:27:37.320 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know homeschooling and health issues that need to help make people feel good as much as possible right and whether that's.

00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:45.480 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Affirming something they're doing right and it doesn't have to necessarily mean finishing the project, but something they've done right that day, I mean.

00:27:46.110 --> 00:27:55.260 Kimberly - Executive Coach: People want to be valued and so and then also coaching them along is just really, really important it's it helps it helps make you feel better as a leader to.

00:27:56.460 --> 00:28:04.410 Graham Dobbin: enjoy coaching is probably the one thing that's coming up more often than not, and it feels like.

00:28:05.730 --> 00:28:09.930 Graham Dobbin: For an old person like me, it feels like they get a younger people come through younger.

00:28:10.770 --> 00:28:17.550 Graham Dobbin: Leaders coming through so it was a natural thing for them to do is to coach it feels like you know, education, maybe even changed.

00:28:17.970 --> 00:28:28.950 Graham Dobbin: Over over the last few centuries, since I went to school and the This is natural that we get people to think about their own ideas we're going to go for a break in a moment, but just you know after that.

00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:34.230 Graham Dobbin: I can't wait your way you've mentioned the word vulnerability twice so we're going to explore that.

00:28:35.130 --> 00:28:42.060 Graham Dobbin: because that always seems to kind of come up with good leaders are vulnerable kind of what.

00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:49.680 Graham Dobbin: What is vulnerability, I suppose, as one, and secondly what's the boundary, how do we manage to set boundaries for that, because i'm sure, a lot of that's changed.

00:28:50.010 --> 00:29:00.240 Graham Dobbin: And we'll dig in a little bit more about coaching and I want to know more about your book, so we got a lot to talk about you're listening to the mind behind leadership alive on talk radio dot nyc we're speaking with.

00:29:00.660 --> 00:29:04.380 Graham Dobbin: Kimberly lane this evening and we've got some messages and will be straight back.

00:31:56.790 --> 00:32:09.810 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership we're talking vulnerable leadership use that what Kimberly use it twice being a vulnerable leader, but what does that mean to you for helping vulnerability.

00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:21.540 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah I guess it's it's you know I guess its simplest form it's to be human you know we're not, I think, sometimes we feel as leaders, we have to have it all together and.

00:32:23.460 --> 00:32:32.700 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Almost be perfect i'm not saying you want to air your dirty laundry that's not necessarily the case, but just show that you're human that you want to struggle so it'd be you know.

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:37.710 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Say there's some new hire and they're struggling with trying to learn the material and.

00:32:38.490 --> 00:32:43.800 Kimberly - Executive Coach: To get on board with the team, and you like you know I I was once there, and my new role as xyz it.

00:32:44.160 --> 00:32:51.870 Kimberly - Executive Coach: took me almost eight months before I finally got enough under my belt that I could actually stand up and give a presentation you're going to get this so just kind of.

00:32:52.410 --> 00:33:01.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know there's a lot of empathy in there, too, but I think there's a huge about boundary you don't want to be airing your dirty laundry and nobody wants to know their leader.

00:33:02.250 --> 00:33:09.240 Kimberly - Executive Coach: can't get the job done right or is incompetent or is mentally unstable right if you've got to be there's a balance in that right.

00:33:10.770 --> 00:33:11.160 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah it's.

00:33:11.190 --> 00:33:13.980 Graham Dobbin: Probably it's probably not a good idea.

00:33:14.670 --> 00:33:23.010 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Right exactly yeah yeah so you know I remember coaching a CEO and he was very he was very hard on his people very.

00:33:23.850 --> 00:33:39.300 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Tough upper lip easy to criticize easy to judge, and you know his employees and not would be called into his office, because they always felt it was going to be a negative critique and not go well right and then unfortunately his father passed away and.

00:33:40.650 --> 00:33:47.700 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I you know kind of asked him what were some of his memories of his father and he had a couple good ones, but there was one that really.

00:33:48.120 --> 00:33:51.600 Kimberly - Executive Coach: stuck out to him that oh that he just always always.

00:33:52.110 --> 00:33:58.650 Kimberly - Executive Coach: felt like he was never going to be good enough because and i'm sure many of us have this in her life, where his dad always always protect it always.

00:33:58.980 --> 00:34:14.010 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Nothing was ever done right he was always being corrected, he was always you know that in and so he had basically become his father in his executive role, and when I kind of mirrored that to him, he kind of had a haha moment, and it was like wow.

00:34:15.150 --> 00:34:22.080 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I need to change because that's not how I want to be perceived by my people I know because i'm on the receiving end as a kid.

00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:33.870 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Now i'm delivering it to my people right so when he kind of acknowledged that now moving forward with its employees, almost to the point of apologizing you know i'm sorry, you know that's the way I was treated.

00:34:34.410 --> 00:34:44.550 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The way I thought it was supposed to be done, but I know what it feels like, and you know, can we start on a different path, can we try something new right, so I think though being honest about mistakes.

00:34:45.240 --> 00:35:02.130 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I mean we're only human right, and I think people your employees respect that and it shows a good example that we're not perfect and and if you're not making mistakes and you're not trying right so as leaders are your goal is to be trying new things and to step out there, so.

00:35:03.180 --> 00:35:10.950 Graham Dobbin: it's a job, because with the workforce becoming younger also with the younger workforce at the moment the kind of motivated in different ways.

00:35:11.940 --> 00:35:22.470 Graham Dobbin: And I remember when I first left school that you you've got a job and you weren't you were almost looking for that job to be the one the one that took you all the way through, whereas now.

00:35:22.830 --> 00:35:28.290 Graham Dobbin: You know people quite happy to look at 18 months two years experience something take breaks.

00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:43.080 Graham Dobbin: And how does that change how we approach i'm just kind of listening to you about being vulnerable being honest being open coaching as a leader feels like that fits right in with with that type of workforce that we may have.

00:35:44.010 --> 00:35:56.190 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah I mean cuz you know I do a talk it's called the isolation epidemic is your business ready for its impact on employee engagement and customer retention, because the millennials will be.

00:35:57.060 --> 00:36:03.840 Kimberly - Executive Coach: 75% of the workforce by 2025 they're already 50% now and as you're talking about these younger generations coming in.

00:36:04.110 --> 00:36:13.440 Kimberly - Executive Coach: They are demanding us different style of leadership, they don't want to be told what to do, they don't want they prefer to be working in teams and more collaborative and they want transparency and so us.

00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:17.730 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Standing up there, acting like we know everything and we're perfect and you know.

00:36:18.120 --> 00:36:25.320 Kimberly - Executive Coach: tell them what to do is just not going to fly it's not going to be receptive and they've got more options, these days, as you mentioned, to.

00:36:25.650 --> 00:36:38.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: After 18 months change and go to another career right that you know it's so they're not going to be loyal like your father and my father were, and you know we weren't here for four or five companies, possibly right so it's a whole different mindset and.

00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:51.720 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, with the newer generations coming for right it's it's I don't know if I don't say they're not thankful for having a career but they're not as.

00:36:52.740 --> 00:37:03.090 Kimberly - Executive Coach: dedicated and loyal like I think we were in our fathers before that, because of the options available, and I was I forget that to statistic I just heard this, the other day, but.

00:37:04.980 --> 00:37:17.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: it's not like it's not unlikely that these individuals may have a main job, but have some other gig jobs on the side right so from a from a legal perspective i'm never going to contract that one I mean because normally you can only work for one company so.

00:37:18.330 --> 00:37:20.400 Kimberly - Executive Coach: that'll be an interesting thing, but they just.

00:37:22.230 --> 00:37:27.540 Kimberly - Executive Coach: they're more wanting to do what they want to do, how they want to do it and if they're not feeling good about it and it's not.

00:37:28.770 --> 00:37:34.860 Kimberly - Executive Coach: feeling valued about it and they're not feeling like they're making an impact in the world they're they're quick to move to something else.

00:37:36.240 --> 00:37:48.720 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So that coaching piece comes important because you've got to have a good relationship with them to understand and help coach them to where they want to go from here to here and hopefully that coaching is you want them here to here in your organization right.

00:37:49.590 --> 00:37:50.010 Graham Dobbin: So we.

00:37:51.150 --> 00:37:59.940 Graham Dobbin: You know we're looking at lots of different tapes tapes and leadership and also the tapes of teams that they run and that's that also that conflict where we're seeing that kind of.

00:38:00.990 --> 00:38:10.110 Graham Dobbin: The younger workforce like to work in teams, but the gig economy is huge and there's kinda that, once again, who do you like, working with.

00:38:11.160 --> 00:38:28.890 Kimberly - Executive Coach: People I like working with a I love working with it, you know I love working with leaders because LEADER I love working with leaders who want to make a difference and want to make an impact and are in one and realize their biggest gift is empowering their people and realize that.

00:38:30.990 --> 00:38:32.580 Kimberly - Executive Coach: They can they're probably.

00:38:34.320 --> 00:38:52.110 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In there are some probably roadblocks in the way they're practicing that right now that I can help them with to make their role more fulfilling for themselves and also more fulfilling for the employees and you know I talked about in my isolation epidemic talk and even in my book about.

00:38:54.150 --> 00:38:57.360 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You, the millennials see Community on Facebook.

00:38:58.890 --> 00:38:59.940 Kimberly - Executive Coach: on social media.

00:39:01.080 --> 00:39:08.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And i'd probably bet 99.9% of those people, they were community on Facebook or social media, they have never met in person.

00:39:09.510 --> 00:39:20.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: versus our traditional forms of Community and my growing up or block parties or the Community Center it was church right and all that's even been removed now with the pandemic we're all at home so.

00:39:20.490 --> 00:39:31.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: My philosophy is if we can make the workplace, who leadership, a culture of Community that gives people the Community sense that is missing, and all those other deficits based because they're not.

00:39:31.950 --> 00:39:37.920 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Block parties they're not Community centers there's not you know not you know hope to God they've got a good group of.

00:39:38.160 --> 00:39:49.590 Kimberly - Executive Coach: family home family network, but no, you know there's not much as organized religion anymore and it's not a political statement or any means, but just you know where we can go from a source of Community right.

00:39:50.220 --> 00:40:02.430 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And i'd like to see that the workplace becomes the new Community place feedings so much of what we need from a human connection perspective from a soul perspective from a.

00:40:02.940 --> 00:40:13.590 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Satisfaction network perspective in IE that was also profitability because it's studies to continue to show people perform better when they're happy at work and everything else behind it.

00:40:14.010 --> 00:40:20.070 Graham Dobbin: I yeah I mean i've got another question that just keeps on jumping out I don't know if we could have either of us can answer it.

00:40:21.540 --> 00:40:23.100 Graham Dobbin: But i'm wondering if.

00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:28.680 Graham Dobbin: The Community there's brought is through Facebook through social media so.

00:40:30.060 --> 00:40:34.740 Graham Dobbin: that's where people find it so that's kind of natural, so why would they need it elsewhere.

00:40:35.100 --> 00:40:43.770 Graham Dobbin: I would, they need a walk away with that he did chapter, why would they need that so what else when this is kind of the environment that they brought up and because we were dropping an environment where.

00:40:44.040 --> 00:40:57.480 Graham Dobbin: yeah you got it at school, you got it, you know playing sports you got it good you know i'm the scouts or the gates or whatever it is, whatever kind of interaction that's how you got it and i'm wondering if.

00:40:59.160 --> 00:41:06.660 Graham Dobbin: Our generation, or maybe putting things that we think should be happening on other generations just I don't.

00:41:07.770 --> 00:41:10.080 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Know it's a great it's a great concept it's almost like.

00:41:12.300 --> 00:41:14.130 Kimberly - Executive Coach: If you've never had chocolate ice cream.

00:41:16.410 --> 00:41:18.120 Kimberly - Executive Coach: you're always gonna like vanilla right.

00:41:18.810 --> 00:41:20.010 Graham Dobbin: I don't like chocolate ice cream.

00:41:23.190 --> 00:41:24.030 Kimberly - Executive Coach: what's your favorite flavor.

00:41:27.090 --> 00:41:28.350 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So I guess.

00:41:36.990 --> 00:41:48.600 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So let me do different example it's kind of like they've always had social media they've always communicated interacted on social media right, so they don't know.

00:41:50.160 --> 00:42:05.460 Kimberly - Executive Coach: What the feeling of being bonded to people in a human's connected setting or experience at enough and along a set of sequential events that makes a difference to understand the difference so that's number one number two.

00:42:06.030 --> 00:42:10.020 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Statistics show those that are the highest users of Facebook.

00:42:10.860 --> 00:42:20.550 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Is a direct correlation to the highest incidence of isolation there's an isolation epidemic going on that started well before the pandemic it started about 10 years ago.

00:42:21.090 --> 00:42:34.320 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And another isn't read the book my Chapter I think it's Chapter three on the power of digital technology prior to 1999 The incidence according to CDC of suicide was going down.

00:42:35.520 --> 00:42:47.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: From 1999 to 2014 the incidence of suicide has gone up 30% is now at an all time high coincidentally, that was a time the Internet got developed the smartphones became proliferated.

00:42:49.050 --> 00:42:56.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Also now they've done this isolation epidemic study and they're saying now with the pandemic with this, you know being at home.

00:42:56.550 --> 00:43:11.520 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The numbers are now not 50% 56% of Americans are feeling isolated alone it's more like 76% of Americans are feeling isolated alone and just connected on a regular basis, and so my kind of going back to your question is.

00:43:13.230 --> 00:43:20.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: They are seeking community on Facebook or on social media, but I don't believe it's fulfilling.

00:43:21.240 --> 00:43:21.840 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The need.

00:43:23.370 --> 00:43:34.260 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Hence, why we have suicide, why we have disconnection why we have you know depression, why we have feelings of isolation and so I feel if we can bring that human connection back.

00:43:35.010 --> 00:43:44.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: In a community and what work can provide to not replace but to offset and balance out that maybe I would like to see, they spend less on this and more here.

00:43:47.370 --> 00:44:00.300 Graham Dobbin: it's a good point I I use certain certain forms of social media to keep in contact with people across the world and everybody tells me wow you're having such a ball in New York, but I only post the good stuff.

00:44:00.630 --> 00:44:07.950 Graham Dobbin: Right people people only see the other people will be see what I want them to see they don't see the boring stuff and I don't see what you got to have to put up with them.

00:44:08.910 --> 00:44:21.780 Graham Dobbin: All I can so yeah it's interesting how we get a perspective from someone else's world and and I, I do wonder, and that is bothered me at times that people think that I live a privileged life because i'm in New York, and I see all these things.

00:44:23.070 --> 00:44:35.670 Graham Dobbin: Because i'm only posting the good stuff and you know I, and I i'm kind of really careful about what I post so it's not supposed to be making other people even envious.

00:44:36.150 --> 00:44:44.400 Graham Dobbin: about what you're doing because that's just not where we're we're just in different places, nothing else and we're going for a final breakers is flying in.

00:44:44.850 --> 00:45:00.630 Graham Dobbin: Kimberley after the break, we will talk about your book we didn't get it, the last name and we will talk about your book and probably just have a quick look at you know i'm thinking back about your career what you would do differently, what you were changed maybe eating to do add layer

00:45:01.650 --> 00:45:02.130 Graham Dobbin: That you would have.

00:45:02.730 --> 00:45:03.600 Kimberly - Executive Coach: done earlier.

00:45:03.660 --> 00:45:14.010 Graham Dobbin: yeah so we'll talk about that we'll talk about that, after the break but we'll have we'll have a look at that and have your book you're listening to the why behind leadership we're live on talk radio dot nyc.

00:45:20.910 --> 00:45:22.050 educate and.

00:47:35.670 --> 00:47:42.750 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back to the mind behind leadership we're speaking with Kimberly lane Kimberly a coat you're dancing to the theme tune every it gets everybody.

00:47:43.140 --> 00:47:44.910 It gets everybody see.

00:47:48.690 --> 00:47:50.010 Kimberly - Executive Coach: My alarm clock with us and.

00:47:53.010 --> 00:48:06.570 Graham Dobbin: Tell us about the book, I know you I know you've talked briefly about kind of the the beginning part of the book, but what was what's the what was the inspiration, what kind of the stories for you earlier life in the workplace and everything what build on that together.

00:48:06.810 --> 00:48:14.940 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah that's a great question um you know I always thought that I was going to write I always wanted to write a book about my life and my ups and downs, and you know.

00:48:15.420 --> 00:48:21.870 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Having gone through what i've gone through, like so many women have and and coming out on the other side and empowered and really.

00:48:22.230 --> 00:48:32.880 Kimberly - Executive Coach: have to tell my story, but to show how you can recover and you too can go on and follow your dreams kind of you know it's kind of story that kind of thing, but I didn't want the book to be all about me and so.

00:48:33.930 --> 00:48:35.910 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I just started it was um.

00:48:37.890 --> 00:48:40.080 Kimberly - Executive Coach: It you know I just I just started getting really.

00:48:41.340 --> 00:48:55.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: upset about the you know just seeing the millennials and the teenagers around me so focused on their phone and not not relating and not connecting and then the whole suicide issue just really bothered me and having had.

00:48:57.300 --> 00:49:00.270 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Just not very good leaders in the past and I thought you know.

00:49:03.240 --> 00:49:04.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: A leaders role.

00:49:05.730 --> 00:49:12.480 Kimberly - Executive Coach: is the single most determinant of whether a person stays or whether they go.

00:49:13.650 --> 00:49:24.930 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know it's 70 to 80% of the factor of my day they leave this year to go as a leader, so why not make sure the leaders are the best right and have the best relationships with other people so.

00:49:25.650 --> 00:49:37.920 Kimberly - Executive Coach: that's kind of a combination of my wanting to tell my personal story seeing gaps leadership from my own experience working for fortune 100 companies and and seeing the leadership that was out there and then third just seeing this whole what I call digital suicide.

00:49:40.110 --> 00:49:44.430 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know I kind of chuckle about the entire pandemic because.

00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:59.460 Kimberly - Executive Coach: All along, we were choosing to remove human touch points we were choosing to do self check in self checkout ship everything to the House even get your peloton and work out from home.

00:50:00.210 --> 00:50:18.210 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Even the groomer comes by for the dog, we were driving in that direction, we were choosing for convenience to remove human touch points and then that will depend on the kit and we were told we don't have a choice but to stay home now we're upset when we were doing that all along so.

00:50:19.260 --> 00:50:32.280 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Because now we're fighting for our need to socialize or need to have Community or need to be connected to others, you know me who thought it would be such a luxury to go a barn have a beer with somebody in a glass of wine and tip that I mean.

00:50:32.820 --> 00:50:46.290 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I mean wow who would have thought that you know or it's such a mean it's just so funny that we're really craving that simple point of connection and freedom of being with other people and.

00:50:46.860 --> 00:50:49.560 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Think about when 911 hit odyssey and read their New York.

00:50:50.040 --> 00:51:03.210 Kimberly - Executive Coach: How do we, how do we solve pain, how do we solve a common, you know eclectic feeling of horrible pain we come together we have candlelight vigils we go to church, we have people over we bond we cry we hug.

00:51:03.570 --> 00:51:10.470 Kimberly - Executive Coach: We we read poems we respect prayers whatever but we're coming together community and and that has probably been the biggest.

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:18.990 Kimberly - Executive Coach: defeat as part of this whole pandemic is when we're trying to heal we can't because we can't come together right so kind of went off on a tangent there but.

00:51:19.350 --> 00:51:22.620 Graham Dobbin: it's such an interesting point, this is a really interesting point so.

00:51:22.740 --> 00:51:23.970 Kimberly - Executive Coach: anytime anything like you said.

00:51:25.980 --> 00:51:31.200 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The very thing we need to heal we're getting tonight, and so I just really you know I.

00:51:32.010 --> 00:51:39.120 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Everything I accomplished in business was because I care about the people I was working with I cared about my clients and.

00:51:39.780 --> 00:51:48.390 Kimberly - Executive Coach: People were Kenny tell me Kimberly we just always trusted you i'm like well, you could I mean I mean you have I mean that's who I am I just what I say, is what I mean and.

00:51:49.950 --> 00:51:58.950 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I don't have a mean bone in my body my attendance nothing but genuine and kindness and I really care about my clients, I really do and and I don't know that everybody does but.

00:51:59.610 --> 00:52:11.100 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You know, I think, because I had these relationships once I had the relationship with people I could sell them anything as long as they needed it right, because they trusted me and I just think the world.

00:52:12.390 --> 00:52:17.880 Kimberly - Executive Coach: works so much easier when we're connected to other people, and we work together collaboratively.

00:52:18.180 --> 00:52:24.780 Kimberly - Executive Coach: and getting a project done and building that funds between you and your neighbor much easier you've got to work on it together right then.

00:52:25.080 --> 00:52:29.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: You out there in the morning and he's out there at night right it's just so much.

00:52:29.490 --> 00:52:42.570 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Life is so much more enjoyable when we do it together and working is no different, especially when we spend so much of our time there so that's kind of you know I know a lot of its rolled into one I mean another instigator is I talked about.

00:52:44.910 --> 00:52:53.400 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Before I was let go from my corporate job and started my gotten to the consultant is, but I also had a bakery it was called live life lusciously.

00:52:53.760 --> 00:53:04.740 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And I would make Italian mascarpone cheesecakes after my great my grandmother's great Italian Mars cocoon cheesecake recipe, but I would bury it I would put like bailey's in there.

00:53:05.220 --> 00:53:11.490 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Make it tequila lime, and so I was trying to solve those right and I had them in three different restaurants here in town.

00:53:13.740 --> 00:53:14.370 Kimberly - Executive Coach: But.

00:53:15.900 --> 00:53:21.000 Kimberly - Executive Coach: It was because the reason why you did that there's so much power of connection over food.

00:53:21.390 --> 00:53:30.000 Kimberly - Executive Coach: I mean our ancestors would break bread together, I mean they would hunt, you know they would have killed me come back and sit over fire talk politics eaten the beef right, I mean.

00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:40.770 Kimberly - Executive Coach: we're we're we're just used to dining together certain food together, I mean it that's such a great way to get to know people into bond and create a shared experience because you've got.

00:53:41.040 --> 00:53:52.050 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The tapes you've got the smell you've got the atmosphere you've got the energy exchange, I mean so i'm just really big foodie and wine and that I just think there's so much goes on, when you dine with people.

00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:57.810 Kimberly - Executive Coach: and have an enjoyable a shared experience that is so powerful and connecting people and so many levels so.

00:53:57.840 --> 00:54:07.890 Graham Dobbin: It saved one of the things I missed in the last year around networking events and bring together Community events and as always kind of integrate Sean or yeah or breakfast please.

00:54:08.190 --> 00:54:25.320 Graham Dobbin: Well, I was part of like an Italian American network here I we met an Italian Italian restaurant every month to be 50 6070 of us no agenda nothing got together and they were amongst some of the best relationships i've built a really, really quickly.

00:54:25.860 --> 00:54:26.670 Graham Dobbin: And I you know I.

00:54:27.360 --> 00:54:32.190 Graham Dobbin: I never we think about some of the Community events are almost a little bit forced to have agenda.

00:54:33.240 --> 00:54:41.310 Graham Dobbin: And yes, we go along to those but this one as soon as the date was I was boot I will i'll be straight on it and really nothing else was going to get in the way.

00:54:41.790 --> 00:54:52.440 Graham Dobbin: of doing that you know the breaking the bread and i'm with you, I don't have a nasty born or in my body I unless somebody deserves it so that's my that's my that's my dad.

00:54:53.550 --> 00:54:53.880 Kimberly - Executive Coach: yeah.

00:54:54.270 --> 00:55:03.480 Graham Dobbin: that's always my ghetto and we've kind of only got a couple of minutes to go said before we come to the we came we went into the last break.

00:55:03.960 --> 00:55:15.330 Graham Dobbin: And is there anything you wish you'd known sooner and your career can have a message that you, you may be worn younger workforce to know know that may have made up.

00:55:15.570 --> 00:55:20.880 Kimberly - Executive Coach: No, I you know the the biggest thing that I think I did, and I know we have much time, but I.

00:55:22.470 --> 00:55:28.710 Kimberly - Executive Coach: The biggest thing I did was face my fear I didn't want fear to stop me from not doing something in my life.

00:55:29.100 --> 00:55:37.710 Kimberly - Executive Coach: So for for quick example you know, I was hard to believe I know extremely shy quite nerdy growing up in high school and when I was younger and.

00:55:38.580 --> 00:55:45.870 Kimberly - Executive Coach: best thing I did was went away to college and left home best thing I did because I said to myself Kimberly you're going to become more social.

00:55:46.200 --> 00:55:52.140 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Even if your grades fall and you're going to learn how to socialize and connect with people, and you know.

00:55:52.680 --> 00:55:56.610 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And I did that my grades didn't fall, but was the best thing that ever happened to me.

00:55:56.910 --> 00:56:06.720 Kimberly - Executive Coach: Is is setting a challenge for me, sometimes I was kind of like i'm tired of living this way i'm tired of feeling shy or uncomfortable here i'm going to get good at this i'm going to.

00:56:06.930 --> 00:56:17.370 Kimberly - Executive Coach: walk through my fear get to the other side, so my best suggestion would be if you have a fear face set and there will be such a level of exhilaration and joy for you to get to that other side.

00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:26.070 Kimberly - Executive Coach: And I think sometimes that fears definitely there for you to pursue it, because it means you're getting closer to your dream of what really is supposed to be doing on this earth.

00:56:26.340 --> 00:56:29.190 Graham Dobbin: What a fantastic we tend to show Thank you Kimberly.

00:56:29.940 --> 00:56:36.360 Graham Dobbin: what's the worst can happen, step up and do it we've got Kimberly Thank you very much for being for being a guest this evening, thank you very much.

00:56:36.810 --> 00:56:47.790 Graham Dobbin: Sam leibovitz for being a fantastic producer join us next week again it's 7pm live on talk radio dot nyc for the mind behind leadership goodnight.

00:56:48.450 --> 00:56:49.470 Kimberly - Executive Coach: goodnight thanks.

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