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Frank About Health

Thursday, September 9, 2021
9
Sep
Facebook Live Video from 2021/09/09 - Frank About Narcissism The Survivor Returns

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/09/09 - Frank About Narcissism The Survivor Returns

 

2021/09/09 - Frank About Narcissism The Survivor Returns

[NEW EPISODE] Frank About Narcissism - The Survivor Returns

Frank About Health returns with the Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse who appeared on the show in July.

Willing to disclose her identity and discuss her Narcissistic Survivors Group has been a debate since her last appearance but she has already seen the benefits of sharing her story and she will use the hour to discuss with Frank and Danielle how the relationship between Narcissism and PTSD is a strong one and needs to be dealt with therapeutically, creatively and through open discussion.

Tune in for this healthy conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Frank starts the show by introducing his narcissistic abuse survivors. He reminds viewers that this is educational to reach out to those who have felt this abuse and for those who see his guests' growth since the last time they were brought onto the show. His guests talk about the PTSD that they have faced and still face. Frank talks about coping and how to catch the situation when you have reached a point where you are being abused. Janet and Barbra talk about their support group and what that looked like during covid and how it looks now as they can gather. Barbra speaks about her experience with narcissistic abuse and how it has affected her marriage.

Segment 2

Janet and Barbra talk about their support group and how it has helped them. Frank and Janet speak up on how the education and health care system has neglected to inform people properly about narcissistic abuse. Frank explains that narcissistic abusers are the way they are due to some other form of hurt, and he brings to light that they are not living as a whole person. Janet adds from her experience that when she was abused that it would give her abuser power and that is not how a relationship should work. Barbra talks about how narcissism in children is normal and helps build confidence but when that narcissistic attitude does not phase away something is wrong. Frank reestablishes that often individuals that become narcissistic abusers are emotionally stunted and get stuck in that childish mindset, where they do not see the problem.

Segment 3

Barbra shares some of her poetry and how that has helped her cope and heal through this process. She encourages people to educate students at a younger age how to protect themselves and their boundaries. Frank explains that by teaching different strategies of protecting yourself and sharing experiences you become an advocate for others who have faced similar trauma. Barbra shares her desire to reach out further to connect to others and to make connections with other survivors and educate more people.

Segment 4

The two survivors recommend a couple of resources that individuals can reach out to and encourage people to talk about their situation. They remind the listeners that there are people at these resources to help and will believe you. Janet advises to reach out to any domestic violence help center because narcissistic abuse is just as terrible as any other form of abuse. Barbra tells how important it is to have a community when you have gone through or if you are still going through trauma. They heavily recommend reaching out to a help center to have emotional support in times of trouble.


Transcript

00:05:24.840 --> 00:05:33.810 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Welcome to all my viewers and listeners to this follow up episode of frank about health follow up in what context, one may ask well.

00:05:34.290 --> 00:05:41.250 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Several weeks ago around sometime in June, I had a very profound show with my special guests today.

00:05:41.670 --> 00:05:53.310 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: About narcissism today I just thought the survivors have returned so it's important that I first say that Danielle swanson who was going to be my co host on this particular episode was.

00:05:53.640 --> 00:06:01.800 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: unavailable at the last minute, but she brought her special guest Janet, who was the survivor that we had really looked and explored.

00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:11.700 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: A very prolific case of narcissistic abuse and how not only she learned from it, but was able to return from it and Lo and behold.

00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:21.330 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Janet did the same unkind by bringing another special guest named Barbara who has a lot more to educate all of us today on the aspects of narcissism.

00:06:21.630 --> 00:06:26.790 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: That can be not only a way of preserving your future after recovering from such abuse.

00:06:27.030 --> 00:06:34.530 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But at the same time making a better pathway for other people who are still suffering from narcissistic abuse so that's what we're going to.

00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:47.580 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: devote today's episode about we're going to first welcome back our guests, but at the same time we're going to use this as an educational segment instead of let's talk about what he said she said and what went on.

00:06:47.940 --> 00:06:57.810 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: That we already understood narcissism is an insidious disease of the mind where people become totally incoherent that other people have identities.

00:06:58.050 --> 00:07:12.150 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Other people have needs other people have their own values, it is long as they feel entitled, they can continue to abuse you until they are stopped and what Janet did discuss on our last episode was how she managed to stop it.

00:07:12.870 --> 00:07:23.190 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Unfortunately, at the beginning, it seemed like at her peril but she did turn it around into something very positive for all the people that will be listening today about her survivors group.

00:07:23.610 --> 00:07:31.890 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: So Janet welcome back to this episode of frank about health and welcome Barbara I look forward to learn more about your story as well.

00:07:33.180 --> 00:07:34.350 The 2 Survivors: Thank you very much.

00:07:35.220 --> 00:07:40.350 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, so Janet, please let me know a little bit more about what has happened since we last spoke.

00:07:41.040 --> 00:07:58.380 The 2 Survivors: um since we last spoke, you know the trauma and the recovery continues you're not just over it, and I think that's one of the things that people need to be aware of, and they will often say, well, that happens and you're done with that now right that's over.

00:07:59.400 --> 00:08:23.070 The 2 Survivors: Much like veterans come home from war with ptsd survivors are victims of Narcissus it's always with you, you suffer the ptsd or you hear something and it triggers those old emotions they destroy your confidence they make you second guess things so you're really never the same person.

00:08:24.210 --> 00:08:41.730 The 2 Survivors: But the one of the most important things, I think I hope comes out of this is don't expect it to be over you're not cured that doesn't happen, we figure out ways every day to survive, we have each other, we have a group of us that gets together.

00:08:42.840 --> 00:08:45.330 The 2 Survivors: But it's ongoing it's ongoing.

00:08:45.900 --> 00:08:52.920 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, I mean it's almost like the equivalent of if you are a victim of alcoholic abuse, meaning.

00:08:53.250 --> 00:09:02.310 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: you've lived with an alcoholic you didn't become one yourself, but you were a victim to it, so there is their ptsd symptoms that may manifest.

00:09:02.640 --> 00:09:11.760 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But when you're dealing with narcissistic abuse it's a personality this function, so you may end up if you're not careful, and being mindful of what you went through.

00:09:12.060 --> 00:09:25.890 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: In being involved with other people that are just as like that, or worse, so it's like not only do you learn about coping with living or having been abused by a narcissist but you learn to be mindful about how to spot one.

00:09:26.490 --> 00:09:31.800 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And how to be able to adjust your personality, accordingly, because I think what we're discovering in today's society.

00:09:32.130 --> 00:09:44.970 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Is that a lot of people are just narcissistic period it just depends on how malignant narcissism is or if it's something that's doable or culpable CE O P cope above not culpable.

00:09:46.890 --> 00:09:58.230 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know, but and, ladies and gentlemen, out there as you'll notice on my zoom zoom handle my gmail account is there for you, if you have any questions from whatever you hear on today's show.

00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:14.940 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: From either Janet Barbara or myself remember you can reach me or Janet and Barbara at frank about health at gmail COM either during or after the show has aired but now Janet introduced me to Barbara and let me know more about the survivors group okay.

00:10:15.660 --> 00:10:21.930 The 2 Survivors: We met through our survivors group, unfortunately with coven everything got dissolved and.

00:10:22.920 --> 00:10:32.340 The 2 Survivors: We didn't have our support group anymore, but then we all reconnected and we try to get together as often as we can either socially or.

00:10:33.180 --> 00:10:42.480 The 2 Survivors: mentally for support, but we have each other, and you know, sometimes people don't want to really hear me vent or talk, but.

00:10:42.750 --> 00:10:45.750 The 2 Survivors: Barbara and I can talk to each other all the time.

00:10:46.020 --> 00:11:01.170 The 2 Survivors: With the other survivors, because you do need to talk about it, you just every now and then you will just have that day, and you can't believe you're reliving it you're you run into somebody who knows, your abuser and it's triggered again.

00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:09.750 The 2 Survivors: But she has been my staple my lifeline she writes fabulous poems and our let her take it away.

00:11:10.380 --> 00:11:16.680 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, I definitely want to know more, Barbara about your your poems I know you've given me a preview of some of them, but.

00:11:17.130 --> 00:11:28.950 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: How would you say your system of abuse has been either part of your life or continues to be part of your life or how have you recovered how, what is your, what is your story relative to Janet story.

00:11:30.060 --> 00:11:33.810 The 2 Survivors: Well, my story is that I simply didn't know what abuse was.

00:11:34.830 --> 00:11:41.640 The 2 Survivors: For one married 50 years, so I didn't know what it was for 43 years.

00:11:42.120 --> 00:11:55.770 The 2 Survivors: Even though I went to many marriage counselors took them to marriage counselors and had went to my own therapy, I had no idea, no one ever mentioned the word narcissism or abuse or emotional abuse, because he didn't hit me.

00:11:57.060 --> 00:12:01.740 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Interesting interesting so your abuse was purely psychological.

00:12:02.640 --> 00:12:03.600 The 2 Survivors: and financial.

00:12:04.950 --> 00:12:13.470 The 2 Survivors: And then well so, for example, financial, is, I know nothing about our finances and I get an allowance of $100 a week.

00:12:14.640 --> 00:12:27.660 The 2 Survivors: And we've been married 50 years and the last marriage counseling we went to when I complained about that I, you know I get an allowance and he said well you know some houses that's just how they handle money.

00:12:29.610 --> 00:12:30.060 The 2 Survivors: Whether.

00:12:30.360 --> 00:12:32.010 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: The therapist said this or.

00:12:32.700 --> 00:12:39.570 The 2 Survivors: The marriage counselor said to both of us well in some houses that's how they handle money.

00:12:41.280 --> 00:12:41.790 The 2 Survivors: So.

00:12:43.170 --> 00:12:47.460 The 2 Survivors: condoned in counseling so it made things worse because they.

00:12:47.460 --> 00:12:53.730 The 2 Survivors: didn't say Okay, and they took his voice over mine always.

00:12:53.790 --> 00:12:56.760 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: What was that, because he found the therapist or was.

00:12:56.760 --> 00:13:04.890 The 2 Survivors: It just an hour, I know I took him but, but his but his voice just carried more way they just believed him over me.

00:13:05.730 --> 00:13:11.340 The 2 Survivors: and nurses are great at that and right, they are also ringing so also.

00:13:11.940 --> 00:13:23.520 The 2 Survivors: Word salivating and walking around you know distracting from I would talk about what hey I get an allowance somehow we were talking about other things we never got to the financial abuse.

00:13:24.120 --> 00:13:36.960 The 2 Survivors: So one of my biggest pieces the the mental health field really failed me completely I had to fill this out on my own and once I found it out that it was abuse right.

00:13:38.070 --> 00:13:45.600 The 2 Survivors: it's been traumatizing i've given myself in education, and you know that I go to I try to talk about it because I.

00:13:46.230 --> 00:13:56.100 The 2 Survivors: People women don't know people don't know men don't know I mean my brother was in narcissistic relationships to we didn't know what abuse was.

00:13:56.340 --> 00:14:04.950 The 2 Survivors: Because we just thought it was being hit right and that was my definition of domestic violence was being but it took me years.

00:14:05.250 --> 00:14:16.830 The 2 Survivors: to figure out that I was being abused and it's not that you don't know something's wrong to do you're crying you're shaking your you're not right, something is wrong, but you don't know what it is.

00:14:17.280 --> 00:14:21.480 The 2 Survivors: And I have a master's degree, I have worked and barbara's.

00:14:21.870 --> 00:14:29.940 The 2 Survivors: So it's not like we're not we're on educated women were not but we didn't know because there's not the information out there to tell us.

00:14:30.180 --> 00:14:49.230 The 2 Survivors: Domestic violence is not just being hit it's emotional psychological financial and we have both said we would rather and i'm not demeaning being hit it off because I was in the psychological torture is far worse than any physical torture, I endured.

00:14:50.640 --> 00:14:56.580 The 2 Survivors: survivor that i've met said to who was hit said it's the emotional torture is much worse.

00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:57.660 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I mean I.

00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:59.190 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: really incredible because what it.

00:14:59.190 --> 00:15:03.510 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: sounds like to me is whether we are talking about domestic violence, or if we're talking about.

00:15:04.620 --> 00:15:13.290 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Physical abuse or if we're talking about ptsd they all seem to be symptoms rather than core problems it's very interesting that.

00:15:13.650 --> 00:15:18.630 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Why, I would say that most people, especially in the mental health field or Community rather.

00:15:19.080 --> 00:15:25.530 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Are not bringing it to awareness is maybe they're still learning about it it's it's it's an ever evolving.

00:15:25.920 --> 00:15:35.010 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: disorder that most people just learn as you try, I mean it's it's kind of sad from the perspective that here we are, as a society trying to continue.

00:15:35.370 --> 00:15:41.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: To be in the forefront of whatever needs to be resolved or changed or managed but we're always.

00:15:41.790 --> 00:15:49.710 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Quote unquote gas lighted from the reality of what is pulling all the strings I mean whether it's personally or socially.

00:15:50.160 --> 00:16:01.380 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And I think that's kind of the what makes it most insidious because it's always a hidden secret and to somehow be the master of that secret it's almost like creating your own story, at the same time.

00:16:02.130 --> 00:16:19.230 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know, it seems as though we're already about to go into our first break, but I do want to say to the listeners and viewers, as well as to both of you that I want to learn more about the survivors group that the both of you are part of because I think, just like what you both indicated.

00:16:20.670 --> 00:16:29.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Living or surviving narcissism is just really the beginning of something else, and having a survivor's group I think is almost mandatory.

00:16:29.640 --> 00:16:38.550 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Especially if you're just interested to learn more about it so we'll spend some time talking about the group, but I also know that Janet you wanted to talk about.

00:16:38.940 --> 00:16:46.860 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Our society's issue with abuse, and I think will devote that in the next few minutes, and then I definitely want to know more about.

00:16:47.160 --> 00:16:59.010 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Your work, Barbara and your poems that I think will will talk about in Section three so, ladies and gentlemen, please stay tuned to this special follow up show where I was being frank about narcissism with.

00:16:59.760 --> 00:17:07.380 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: survivors Janet and Barbara right here on talk radio dot nyc and Facebook live we'll be back in a few.

00:19:18.690 --> 00:19:24.870 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: hey everybody welcome back to this episode of frank about health, this is the narcissistic follow up show but.

00:19:25.350 --> 00:19:31.080 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Now, speaking about follow up one thing that I know Janet wants to share with us, which was already hinted at.

00:19:31.410 --> 00:19:37.800 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: In terms of all of us going through narcissistic relationships and having to continue the mindfulness.

00:19:38.100 --> 00:19:57.210 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: of whatever that hidden secret is it's just a fundamental problem of how our society fails to educate us on narcissism as a way of life in some instances, I mean an email you sent me today Janet psychological abuse hidden in society, would you like to share what you mean by that.

00:19:58.050 --> 00:20:08.790 The 2 Survivors: um we don't again we think of abuses physical, so we don't think of abuses, psychological and there's so much of it out there now.

00:20:09.150 --> 00:20:19.980 The 2 Survivors: And we're just not aware of it, I like I said I was in a relationship for four years before I knew I was being abused I knew something was wrong I just didn't know what was wrong.

00:20:20.610 --> 00:20:29.760 The 2 Survivors: And then, when he actually did hit me a girlfriend of mine gave me a book and abuse and she said, do not go home just take this somewhere and read it.

00:20:30.270 --> 00:20:46.500 The 2 Survivors: And I remember that moment shaking and crying and thought Oh, my goodness i'm a victim of domestic violence, because I did not know psychological emotional or financially that I was being abused.

00:20:47.010 --> 00:20:51.990 The 2 Survivors: All I was doing was begging to you know to fix the relationship let's make this work.

00:20:53.610 --> 00:21:05.790 The 2 Survivors: If you just look to yourself push up to Member the the narcissist they are fantastic at what they do and God help me for complimenting them but they're brilliant.

00:21:06.060 --> 00:21:16.350 The 2 Survivors: they're brilliant and they know exactly what they're doing from the get go, so a lot of people don't see it, and there are still people today that would believe his story over mine.

00:21:17.010 --> 00:21:30.120 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: hmm well i've always said that perception is everything, and I think we've seen that a lot in the media about various social issues that go on, so I guess what the narcissist is depending on is the idea that the perceptions, are the truth.

00:21:30.510 --> 00:21:32.130 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: it's like they don't know how to deal in.

00:21:32.130 --> 00:21:38.160 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Facts facts are elusive because they probably can't emotionally cope with them, especially if they spend most of their life.

00:21:38.490 --> 00:21:44.400 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: hiding their own feelings, so that they can continue their targets or continue approaching their targets in the way that they do.

00:21:44.820 --> 00:21:53.970 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know what the crying shame, in my view is that it's they lack an identity, they don't know who they are they're probably stunted children living in sheep's clothing.

00:21:54.780 --> 00:22:04.980 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Which one of the books that you wanted to talk about later, but the thing is, is that I, I always question that if I am dealing with narcissistic people.

00:22:05.340 --> 00:22:14.100 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And I recognize them I have become an expert in my own way, unfortunately, but the thing is, when I see them I think to myself how could they feel comfortable.

00:22:14.430 --> 00:22:22.800 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: living in what may feel like an incomplete life, you know with the inability to connect because they're spending their time trying to paint the image that they want.

00:22:23.220 --> 00:22:36.960 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: to portray you know and well either way, I think that, in terms of the social lack of awareness, or the the whole abuse issue, you must have felt like you were physically abused, because, as you were crying.

00:22:37.380 --> 00:22:52.920 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And going through those those reactions as you were reading that book, you probably felt the equivalent of pain in your heart or in your chest or in in even in your in your back you like the triggers that you were brought back to were probably just as painful as being physically hit.

00:22:53.460 --> 00:23:03.780 The 2 Survivors: Right and the good news, out of it was there was validation that I wasn't NUTS because that's one of the things they do, they thrive on being right.

00:23:04.140 --> 00:23:14.760 The 2 Survivors: They show no emotion there void of emotion and then, when they do get you to cry they're very that's powerful, because now he had power over me because i'm.

00:23:15.060 --> 00:23:29.700 The 2 Survivors: crying and i'm begging him let's work on this relationship, meanwhile, not knowing, this is exactly what he wanted and then reading that book, it was like somebody wrote was writing about my life.

00:23:30.330 --> 00:23:44.460 The 2 Survivors: So the good news was it was validation I wasn't losing my mind I learned about gaslighting and I learned about psychological abuse, and that was the beginning of my journey to where I am now.

00:23:45.030 --> 00:23:59.070 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Right, I mean abuse has to be understood, is not just one aspect of abuse, it has to be understood as a pathology of mistreating boundaries between coexisting human beings it's.

00:23:59.460 --> 00:24:06.480 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I have no identity if i'm the narcissist I have no identity, so I have to make it known that I don't by being destructive.

00:24:06.750 --> 00:24:20.130 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: By being abusive whether it's physically or emotionally or financially and then therefore sticking Mike my claim on what is still a fragmented sense of self because nothing is really accomplished in the long term.

00:24:20.490 --> 00:24:30.030 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: it's just an ongoing pathology that sometimes, in certain instances borders on sociopathy sociopath that are out there, that figure the killing people is just for fun.

00:24:30.480 --> 00:24:40.770 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know I mean worst case scenario, of course, but the thing is, is that it is unfortunate, how society in general it's hidden and I think it's forcibly hidden due to.

00:24:41.040 --> 00:24:54.180 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Various circumstances we're about to approach the 20th anniversary of 911 that is a tremendous example of narcissism if you think about exactly who was targeting us to begin with, I mean everybody knows that it was.

00:24:56.220 --> 00:25:04.170 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: What Osama bin Laden and everyone knows the Taliban or Al Qaeda or all those people, but still they were under a belief system.

00:25:04.650 --> 00:25:12.120 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Based on their religious beliefs that one can interpret is narcissistic in nature, because it was skewing.

00:25:12.510 --> 00:25:23.010 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Whatever their their I don't know what they call it the quran or their Bible was saying things that they took literally and figure that God was great so let's just knock down the towers, you know.

00:25:23.550 --> 00:25:31.890 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: It is even though those are pivotal moments in our society and in our history, the whole fundamental aspect of narcissism.

00:25:32.220 --> 00:25:45.300 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Is that it unfortunately has been brought to light through the media, and through social issues that we faced, especially during co but that narcissism has to be understood that it exists as a way of life for some.

00:25:45.810 --> 00:25:53.880 The 2 Survivors: Yes, and I think one of the things and let Barbara have the floor after this make clear is We talked earlier about how, how does it get to this point.

00:25:54.270 --> 00:26:04.260 The 2 Survivors: I remember one time I came down with a migraine family, his family was there I was upstairs vomiting throwing up for three hours.

00:26:05.160 --> 00:26:21.480 The 2 Survivors: I texted first I texted him he got very angry, what do you want you're embarrassing me I said i'm really sick he left, so I texted his sister in law, can you please bring me some water, I really don't feel well, she said yes i'll be right there.

00:26:22.500 --> 00:26:32.430 The 2 Survivors: She never came the next morning she told me Janet I tried to bring you the water, but he wouldn't let me.

00:26:33.630 --> 00:26:51.810 The 2 Survivors: Now, how is it possible that she couldn't break through that barrier with him there's somebody upstairs who's quite ill and he had the power and control over his sister in law so that I would not get water.

00:26:53.370 --> 00:26:54.630 The 2 Survivors: yeah it gets very malignant.

00:26:54.660 --> 00:26:56.520 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: It gets very, very malignant yes, I.

00:26:57.450 --> 00:27:03.030 The 2 Survivors: So, because basically we're always talking about a general thing but it's really a spectrum.

00:27:03.450 --> 00:27:09.630 The 2 Survivors: Right narcissism starting with narcissist you know the narcissistic stage of little kids it's about me right.

00:27:09.990 --> 00:27:19.890 The 2 Survivors: which can be healthy, we want to have healthy self esteem, but then, as it gets to be entitlement it's only me and I don't care about you.

00:27:20.220 --> 00:27:27.000 The 2 Survivors: And then the spectrum, you know goes malignant narcissist you know i'm going to get what I want and i'm going to run over you.

00:27:27.330 --> 00:27:33.780 The 2 Survivors: And then we get into really unhealthy sociopathy I don't know psychopathy is like I enjoy hurting you.

00:27:34.320 --> 00:27:44.400 The 2 Survivors: I don't know I mean my theory is part of it is how the society, the family that you were brought up in you know if it's not a healthy family.

00:27:44.760 --> 00:28:02.070 The 2 Survivors: But it also is genetic because there is a we have brain differences and some brains do not feel as much some brains feel too much and some brains don't feel at all so take an extreme example of this.

00:28:02.370 --> 00:28:16.680 The 2 Survivors: Like a Jeffrey dahmer I don't think childhood was so horrific right, but he obviously didn't feel I mean he's not the only one right and plenty of that happen so it's a whole spectrum of yes.

00:28:16.710 --> 00:28:25.230 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I totally agree, I would say that if the narcissism already exists in all of us as children and infants, we need to be aware of our needs for survival.

00:28:25.500 --> 00:28:39.630 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And then they are stunted the development stages are not allowed to progress narcissism remains the core value system so that, as you go through puberty and young adulthood and senior years and also faced traumas, as we all do.

00:28:39.990 --> 00:28:51.270 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: It becomes the cornerstone of diverting real normal behaviors in terms of how to cope with life or relationships or whatever it just always reverts.

00:28:51.510 --> 00:28:58.710 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: To the narcissistic interpretation and that's where it becomes a borderline psychotic break or sociopathic situation.

00:28:59.040 --> 00:29:04.710 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And who knows, maybe that's how our criminal justice system was built on if you have mass incarceration.

00:29:05.070 --> 00:29:15.450 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And i'm not getting into the racial issues here, but if you have mass incarceration and high rates of recidivism those are people that are possibly only used to living a dysfunctional life.

00:29:15.930 --> 00:29:26.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know it's kind of also said it for the narcissist because, even as they progress through life and remained a narcissist they never got to develop the emotional.

00:29:26.430 --> 00:29:28.080 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: story right yeah.

00:29:28.110 --> 00:29:30.420 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Exactly so they end up being children forever.

00:29:30.930 --> 00:29:39.090 The 2 Survivors: Exactly so emotionally stunted right like a little kid right Oh, I used to call them there's any stamps his feet, like a little kid if it doesn't get this way.

00:29:39.420 --> 00:29:47.910 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Exactly exactly you know what they say in psychological communities, especially the DSM manual is that there is medication and treatment for it.

00:29:48.270 --> 00:29:59.550 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: It is a personality disorder and like you said, Barbara there is some proof that it's in the DNA of the brain, you know so from that perspective, the medication, if it is taken by a willing participant.

00:29:59.790 --> 00:30:03.270 The 2 Survivors: You understand nurses don't feel they have a problem.

00:30:03.270 --> 00:30:03.600 that's.

00:30:04.890 --> 00:30:07.320 The 2 Survivors: needed to change don't think they're doing anything wrong.

00:30:08.790 --> 00:30:09.240 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Correct.

00:30:09.480 --> 00:30:12.240 The 2 Survivors: Which is by that's it yeah.

00:30:13.710 --> 00:30:24.480 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Well that's the whole point of it, though it's considered in the manual to be a clinical illness but they probably have so few patients in that population, because they have a free gift to get out of jail free card.

00:30:25.650 --> 00:30:31.800 The 2 Survivors: Is the recovery indeed they don't see the problem and there is no real recovery they don't change.

00:30:32.340 --> 00:30:48.900 The 2 Survivors: It really don't change with with anything you can say you're not getting through and that was the mistake that I made for all the years of my marriage is that I believe why I stayed I believed, I was going to get through to him, I did too yes.

00:30:49.170 --> 00:30:51.210 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I know because that's a healthy mind.

00:30:51.480 --> 00:31:00.960 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: A narcissist is still i'm sorry the victim of a narcissist is still willing to work with the person, because your counter you're interacting.

00:31:01.320 --> 00:31:12.810 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: With someone who's relatively in your age group, so you have the natural inclination to treat them and work with them as adults do, but in their brain they're still children.

00:31:13.260 --> 00:31:28.590 The 2 Survivors: But they're also smart enough to choose, people who have a great deal of compassion, if you look at the victims were very compassionate empathetic people and they just laser focused and because we're easy to manipulate yeah.

00:31:28.860 --> 00:31:33.060 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Well, and not only that you become their their food, you become their fuel, so they can.

00:31:33.060 --> 00:31:39.660 The 2 Survivors: Go I was yeah we're the fuel go ahead, I prefer the word target to victim, yes, I like that term head.

00:31:40.020 --> 00:31:47.220 The 2 Survivors: Yes, targeted because i'm easy to use and manipulate and do whatever he wants and bring home.

00:31:47.970 --> 00:31:56.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Well, the thing is we're about to go to another break, but I wanted to close with what you just said and then we'll continue with with all of that, because now is your segment where you're going to educate us all.

00:31:56.730 --> 00:32:01.680 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: The thing is, is that target is the better word because it implies you never survive it.

00:32:02.340 --> 00:32:02.970 The 2 Survivors: Right yep.

00:32:03.120 --> 00:32:18.720 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for staying tuned to this episode of frank about health we're being frank about narcissism with the two survivors Janet and Barbara we will be back right here on talk radio dot nyc and Facebook live stay tuned.

00:32:19.170 --> 00:32:19.680 Thank you.

00:32:20.700 --> 00:32:21.180 got it.

00:34:54.420 --> 00:34:55.590 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for.

00:34:55.650 --> 00:35:05.160 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Coming back to this episode of frank about health, we were just talking with Barbara about the DNA in the brain of the narcissist among some poetry that she's written.

00:35:05.490 --> 00:35:08.640 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I also wanted you to take this time Barber to also talk about.

00:35:09.180 --> 00:35:17.550 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Something that you also wrote to me about emotional education being missing so i'd like to know more about your thought process on how it's important.

00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:29.160 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: That we teach people and how to deal with narcissism more in a higher realm of thinking, so that we can avoid being victims, and if we have to remain targets that's one thing, but every target has a Defense strategy.

00:35:31.410 --> 00:35:42.060 The 2 Survivors: We don't know what we're facing can we defend against it so right now, I know there is some education, I heard you know and starting in some high schools.

00:35:42.660 --> 00:35:48.300 The 2 Survivors: But it needs to be so early on, about how you're supposed to be treated what's right and what's wrong.

00:35:48.660 --> 00:35:59.430 The 2 Survivors: I mean we did learn don't get in the car with a stranger you know, and maybe don't let people touch you but we certainly don't know about how to protect ourselves and how to protect our boundaries.

00:35:59.700 --> 00:36:05.970 The 2 Survivors: anywhere could happen school can happen at business, it could happen in a medical situation to.

00:36:06.240 --> 00:36:06.690 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: That people.

00:36:06.780 --> 00:36:16.260 The 2 Survivors: Will step on your boundaries, but we don't even realize that because there's no education and how can you fix or deal with what you have no idea about.

00:36:16.950 --> 00:36:17.250 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: What.

00:36:17.520 --> 00:36:18.270 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: A mental thing.

00:36:18.300 --> 00:36:24.030 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: i've learned i'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you, but one fundamental thing i've learned and I actually learned it while doing an episode.

00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:30.870 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Of frank about health with my cousin based out of Florida, we were talking about our DNA history because we met through 23 and me.

00:36:31.260 --> 00:36:47.100 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And if in fact DNA has muscle memory from our ancestors if they if we came from Narcissus we're actually remembering that behavior way back when when there were no open discussions about narcissism at that point in time.

00:36:47.430 --> 00:36:53.370 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: centuries ago, or whatever generations ago, so the thing is it's up to the current generations.

00:36:53.610 --> 00:37:03.480 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Like our generation going forward to actually create an entire educational ecosystem, to educate people on this being a malignant threat that exists.

00:37:03.720 --> 00:37:14.520 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And that you're may be fortunate enough not to be a target of but for people who have been you become almost like advocates or teachers of how to help improve quality of life for.

00:37:14.940 --> 00:37:23.490 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Future targets or even those narcissists that you can perceive are in the presence of your Community or environment right.

00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:37.200 The 2 Survivors: And I was never validated ever until I went to some domestic violence agencies and the counselors they are the advocates they're like you're in an abusive relationship is it Oh, how can that be, you know i'm not starving i'm.

00:37:37.620 --> 00:37:45.420 The 2 Survivors: At a much higher level, he doesn't hit me like and if it wasn't for that validation I don't know when I lived on yeah.

00:37:45.510 --> 00:37:48.270 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Because they were making gaslighting reinforced.

00:37:49.440 --> 00:37:55.620 The 2 Survivors: itself so it's really made a huge difference because I don't know if I would have survived same right.

00:37:56.340 --> 00:38:06.270 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But once you're awake into it by those people who have let you know what you were going through it did foster some creative elements in you, which you've used to maintain your survival.

00:38:06.510 --> 00:38:18.000 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You were about to read a poem i'd like to hear some of them, because I already did get a preview, but I think for the listeners and viewers out there, they would be very enlightening to help people out there who are dealing with narcissism.

00:38:19.230 --> 00:38:29.340 The 2 Survivors: Well, one time, I was thinking about the poem the love poem how do I love thee let me count the ways, yes, love these depth and breadth and height my soul can reach by Elizabeth Barrett browning I believe.

00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:33.210 The 2 Survivors: But in my mind, it was hideaway abuse day.

00:38:34.530 --> 00:38:45.180 The 2 Survivors: So that was running around in my mind in the last couple of years, I found that writing is a very therapeutic way for me to deal with the stress.

00:38:45.240 --> 00:38:51.600 The 2 Survivors: Right express all the pain inside so, so I will actually I think i'm really close to 50 pounds.

00:38:54.270 --> 00:38:59.520 The 2 Survivors: And just Actually, this is probably one of the best ones, because it really says everything right.

00:39:01.020 --> 00:39:14.520 The 2 Survivors: Okay, how do I abuse the let me count the ways I harass and provoke the to the depth and breadth and height I trivialize bully and mark they till they soul runs out of sight.

00:39:15.180 --> 00:39:25.170 The 2 Survivors: arguing gives me pleasure, I simply enjoy seeing you upset manipulation withholding and put Downs that's all you'll ever get.

00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:46.530 The 2 Survivors: i'm entitled to call the shots to be in control i'm the guy I don't care how much I hurt you or how much you cry I can criticize undermine and judge you Oh yes, I expect to have my way because you're just an object for me to use to oppose to statistically play.

00:39:47.580 --> 00:40:00.900 The 2 Survivors: Of course i'm condescending can't you see my smirk I love it when you lose it and call me an effing jerk because it means I got to you and I know that my games work.

00:40:01.410 --> 00:40:09.630 The 2 Survivors: But i'm so clever I will do all of the secretly in a way that's covert you won't understand why, day after day, you get so her.

00:40:10.170 --> 00:40:21.360 The 2 Survivors: You won't know what's actually happening, since only, you will see the side of me everyone else will think you're too sensitive over emotional we're just playing crazy.

00:40:22.350 --> 00:40:32.040 The 2 Survivors: 30 years of marriage counseling have none of them ever saw because giving you an allowance isn't against the law.

00:40:32.970 --> 00:40:41.070 The 2 Survivors: My voice was common rational sounding so sincere unkind none of them knew what I was doing to your mind.

00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:49.890 The 2 Survivors: On persuasive and smooth coming across like Mr nice guy even our own family doesn't know how much on my.

00:40:50.730 --> 00:41:00.900 The 2 Survivors: Who the secret hard to define gaslighting mind game call me on it will turn around and shift the blame so that you'll be the one to carry all the shame.

00:41:01.800 --> 00:41:09.510 The 2 Survivors: complain about our relationship i'll just tell you you're unstable then over the years you interjected this untrue label.

00:41:10.230 --> 00:41:19.020 The 2 Survivors: Anything you want i'll try to block in every possible way, but if there's something that you don't like Oh, make it happen every day.

00:41:19.770 --> 00:41:27.570 The 2 Survivors: You won't be believe, just like Christina blassie for you'll be discounted minimized and basically ignored.

00:41:28.410 --> 00:41:36.360 The 2 Survivors: Word salad diversion evasion that's what's on your plate try to get through to me and i'll just invalidate.

00:41:37.260 --> 00:41:45.630 The 2 Survivors: With the last administration at the ham, I was really having fun since nastiness is the new sport i'll try hard not to be outdone.

00:41:46.410 --> 00:41:54.180 The 2 Survivors: I hope you realize that i'm indifferent to you and to your pain my only goal in every encounter is to see what I can gain.

00:41:54.630 --> 00:42:07.800 The 2 Survivors: your feelings your desires i'll just continuously dis since I consider you an adversary now just remember this, how do I dis you let me count the ways.

00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:25.860 The 2 Survivors: disrespect discount disinterest disbelieved dislike disapprove discourage disappear discard disengage disregard dismiss distain disparage discipline distressed.

00:42:27.990 --> 00:42:31.530 The 2 Survivors: How can I reclaim myself, let me count the ways.

00:42:31.680 --> 00:42:42.930 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: and credible, I hope you get that published one day i'm serious you said there was another one now i'm like not even sure if that's going to be even better I think it'll be about the same but I.

00:42:43.470 --> 00:42:46.500 The 2 Survivors: Do poem so everyone knocks your socks off.

00:42:46.800 --> 00:43:02.670 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, yes, they do now, Barbara where you mentioning that you were also trying to find a way of having this taught or were you talking about a way of being able to improve the lack of education of narcissism in the schools.

00:43:03.120 --> 00:43:03.630 well.

00:43:05.370 --> 00:43:10.860 The 2 Survivors: Because i'm wounded it's hard for me to get out of the House, but it is my strong desire.

00:43:11.310 --> 00:43:22.860 The 2 Survivors: To be here, why I said yes, because non platform, I would like I don't mind speaking in front of live groups, but this, this is a little hard for me understand, I am absolutely.

00:43:23.820 --> 00:43:30.210 The 2 Survivors: Really wanting to get out there and spread the word, because I know there are so many other people.

00:43:31.110 --> 00:43:50.310 The 2 Survivors: Who are in terrible relationships, because they're being dissed constantly and we've done public speaking before coven we were at police station synagogues, we were just starting to get into school systems and colleges and then covert hit, but we are so excited about doing public speaking.

00:43:51.090 --> 00:43:57.510 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, yeah well, I mean, at the same time, the way that this platform with zoom has evolved into.

00:43:57.900 --> 00:44:05.430 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: going to school going to work going to tell a health visit so forth, and so on, this could become a platform so should you choose.

00:44:05.670 --> 00:44:13.140 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: regularly start doing this to us your survivors group, for example, or some of the groups that you dealt with in the past pre coven.

00:44:13.470 --> 00:44:28.860 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And then maybe it'll mushroom into something at a much bigger bigger period in time, like maybe in the next year or two you know when we when we hopefully have gotten rid of the coven virus, but more importantly it, it could be a good bridge for you to cross over.

00:44:29.310 --> 00:44:30.750 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Get yourself out of the House.

00:44:30.810 --> 00:44:35.940 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: while still being in the House, metaphorically speaking, and then eventually take it on the road.

00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:37.290 You know.

00:44:38.340 --> 00:44:43.320 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I would hope that maybe this episode will be seen by many people on Facebook live and before.

00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:47.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: You know it, if I get any references to have you talk it there.

00:44:47.370 --> 00:45:02.310 The 2 Survivors: I have definitely been encouraged, I have an advocate who's trying to get me out on the web and i've been resisting, so this is my first time but I may have to give you she she's very her voice is very powerful her.

00:45:02.310 --> 00:45:13.290 The 2 Survivors: press, then what you haven't seen is her art, which is even more powerful it's an absolutely amazing the nice thing about public speaking in person is.

00:45:13.830 --> 00:45:27.840 The 2 Survivors: going to see people 99% of the time, there are women that come up oh right and interbank reach out because they are in abusive relationships in there don't know what to do.

00:45:28.200 --> 00:45:37.650 The 2 Survivors: And finally, somebody is validating them it's okay we're going to help you tonight we're going to be together right, and even if you can't be.

00:45:38.100 --> 00:45:51.120 The 2 Survivors: You can come to our meetings and just to have that support support and validation yes, yes I can't even put we isolated is so painful it but that's what they want.

00:45:51.540 --> 00:46:03.930 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Right exactly exactly yeah I mean the AIDS, but you're being isolated it's painful and that's you remaining the victim, but hopefully being on the show, for example.

00:46:05.490 --> 00:46:12.870 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: could be a starting point to just remaining the target, but one that can advocate for other targets and also.

00:46:13.350 --> 00:46:20.970 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: break out of that Shell that, unfortunately, you were placed in because as you've mentioned you're you're still living with your abuser you still married to your abuser.

00:46:21.450 --> 00:46:28.950 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But you're obviously more mindful of what you're living with which is already on the path towards surviving and further recovery.

00:46:29.340 --> 00:46:37.830 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And so I could tell you that i've been doing this show for about 1415 weeks now, but it's only been about six weeks that it's been on Facebook.

00:46:38.220 --> 00:46:44.220 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And i've already gotten feedback that some of my shows have had more streams and views I could have ever anticipated.

00:46:44.550 --> 00:46:49.020 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I would hope that that audience that had watched those previous shows are watching this one right now.

00:46:49.350 --> 00:46:57.990 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And can reach out to you and, in fact, when this is finally archived you'll be able to forward it to members of your survivors group and anybody that can help you.

00:46:58.260 --> 00:47:07.290 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Get on the road and, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to take another break, but please reach out to both Janet and Barbara by using my email frank about health one have to.

00:47:07.590 --> 00:47:18.090 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Add to email.com The purpose of this particular show is not necessarily just to promote or discuss narcissism as a personality disorder, we already did that.

00:47:18.450 --> 00:47:26.490 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: This is about showing how, if you are a target or who knows, maybe even a you're a narcissist yourself that wants to improve.

00:47:26.940 --> 00:47:45.300 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: and become more into the mindfulness for people in your in Community This could be a starting point for you, ladies and gentlemen, we will be back right here with our final segment of this episode of frank about health right here on talk radio dot nyc and Facebook live please stay tuned.

00:49:45.810 --> 00:49:54.870 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a very educational 45 minutes, thus far, I definitely am wanting to know more about.

00:49:55.470 --> 00:50:05.190 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: The two survivors and their group so i'm leaving this moment of the show for the both of you to talk about how empowering it is how people can become involved.

00:50:05.460 --> 00:50:18.240 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: How can they contact you to be the part of it, other than by emailing me, but at the same time, are there any other resources that you want to share for them to look for books that you can recommend things like that i'm.

00:50:18.300 --> 00:50:21.630 The 2 Survivors: The domestic violence services network can you see that.

00:50:21.660 --> 00:50:23.580 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Is that showing yes, yes.

00:50:23.970 --> 00:50:36.810 The 2 Survivors: that's who we are really more affiliated with now and there's emails and phone calls their reach out even if you have to do it in secret it's worth it um.

00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:49.380 The 2 Survivors: My Dermot I was at my dermatologist and she asked me what was wrong and I, and I said i'm in an abusive relationship and she gave me this information.

00:50:50.490 --> 00:51:02.730 The 2 Survivors: I thought, no one's going to believe me cuz they just know him he's Mr charming, and she said Jana just try, so I thought well i'll go once.

00:51:03.420 --> 00:51:19.710 The 2 Survivors: And I went in that office and I was like a fetus I was in a fetal position crying and crying because I thought he was going to be somebody else who's going to question what i'm saying all of a sudden, she was finishing my sentences.

00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:29.550 The 2 Survivors: credible and I looked at her and I thought Oh, my goodness here's someone who's who knows no one, no one questions you.

00:51:30.090 --> 00:51:36.150 The 2 Survivors: For the first time because you've been gas lighted for the years they've played with your mind.

00:51:37.020 --> 00:51:48.540 The 2 Survivors: No matter how intelligent, you were are it's all gone your self confidence your self esteem your self respect I remember my abuser used to say to me, everything is your fault.

00:51:49.110 --> 00:51:57.270 The 2 Survivors: And I actually remember laughing the first time since we're talking about everything can't be my fault, I mean I at least still had that much sense.

00:51:57.840 --> 00:52:04.680 The 2 Survivors: Right these any domestic violence organization will help you get on your feet.

00:52:05.070 --> 00:52:05.430 The 2 Survivors: And even.

00:52:05.490 --> 00:52:19.230 The 2 Survivors: If you have to talk to them and secret it's well worth it, and I strongly advise it, I am only here today because of that because I did think about suicide, I did think he had me so convinced.

00:52:20.100 --> 00:52:26.130 The 2 Survivors: And pounded me down and he did try to kill me on several occasions wow.

00:52:26.790 --> 00:52:40.080 The 2 Survivors: The the domestic violence services network and other organizations who helped women in these situations are just invaluable, what do you think about right we have gone to another domestic violence.

00:52:40.950 --> 00:52:52.920 The 2 Survivors: agency and the first they started with just homeless women having houses for women who, and then one woman started a Community program right which they then stop but.

00:52:53.250 --> 00:53:05.940 The 2 Survivors: The Community we need support, even if we have a home mm hmm we need the support of each other is really important actually for anything you know cancer survivors, or you know.

00:53:06.420 --> 00:53:18.570 The 2 Survivors: A whole it's anonymous you need support emotional support and you can't necessarily get it from your friends who aren't going through the same experience right, you need people who are going through the same experience.

00:53:18.960 --> 00:53:28.350 The 2 Survivors: I came across a term recently that really knocked me, too, is that abuse of any kind to anyone is basically a solo murder.

00:53:29.580 --> 00:53:29.850 The 2 Survivors: Which i've.

00:53:30.570 --> 00:53:32.040 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: never heard that phrase before.

00:53:32.430 --> 00:53:35.250 The 2 Survivors: So I, so I wrote a poem about that do I hear it.

00:53:35.310 --> 00:53:35.850 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes.

00:53:35.880 --> 00:53:37.170 The 2 Survivors: By all means long.

00:53:38.670 --> 00:53:39.480 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I gather, you get.

00:53:39.810 --> 00:53:41.160 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: A view of what is discussed.

00:53:41.160 --> 00:53:45.150 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: During your groups to your group sessions together in the survivors group right.

00:53:45.750 --> 00:53:56.970 The 2 Survivors: Yes, okay so murder right so murder is the result of long term abuse of any kind, it plays with your reality and makes you unsure of your mind.

00:53:57.540 --> 00:54:04.560 The 2 Survivors: It also cuts you off from your deepest most sacred self and then your true essence it's lonely on a shelf.

00:54:05.130 --> 00:54:13.620 The 2 Survivors: If you don't realize you're in an abusive hypnotic trance there's no way you can ever escape this soul sucking dance.

00:54:14.190 --> 00:54:20.970 The 2 Survivors: it's hard to give your gift when your voice is not heard soon even you begin to doubt your very own word.

00:54:21.930 --> 00:54:39.990 The 2 Survivors: Just as if you were indoctrinated into a toxic cult the aeration of your true self is the sad result now to journey back, we need to learn the truth and then dive deep inside letting go have a new of illusions it's not an easy ride.

00:54:41.820 --> 00:54:57.150 The 2 Survivors: The point of your existence is to blossom into who you are it's your life you own it and you are the star keep your eyes wide open, despite all the pain it's your very own soul that you will be gained.

00:54:57.720 --> 00:54:59.520 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: hmm amazing.

00:54:59.790 --> 00:55:01.230 The 2 Survivors: She does have a gift.

00:55:01.500 --> 00:55:02.610 The 2 Survivors: Yes, yes.

00:55:03.060 --> 00:55:12.600 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I mean a break now when you reactivate your survivors group to be more inclusive after the pandemic is totally lifted, you can probably have to have her as your top of the bill.

00:55:13.020 --> 00:55:14.370 The 2 Survivors: entertainment yeah.

00:55:17.640 --> 00:55:19.140 The 2 Survivors: shutterfly book of all my.

00:55:20.220 --> 00:55:22.050 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Oh well, I would actually like it.

00:55:22.110 --> 00:55:29.820 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: And well you know is as soon as you can put it together, I can't imagine that they're all literally together, right now, I mean you said this 50 or so right.

00:55:30.420 --> 00:55:43.230 The 2 Survivors: Some of them I decorate which I designed so they look pretty on that, like I said the artwork that goes with them takes your breath away well so here's here's so murder.

00:55:44.010 --> 00:55:45.000 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Oh, my God.

00:55:46.140 --> 00:55:46.920 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: incredible.

00:55:48.360 --> 00:55:53.100 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: I mean, yes I would assume you could get that may be published on Amazon or something.

00:55:54.210 --> 00:55:54.450 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: No.

00:55:54.750 --> 00:55:56.040 The 2 Survivors: i'm not okay i'm.

00:55:58.710 --> 00:56:02.190 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Yes, you're hurt you're her soul sister so.

00:56:03.660 --> 00:56:05.220 The 2 Survivors: Her advocate at.

00:56:05.250 --> 00:56:14.250 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Exactly now, by the way, I know that we were talking about different types of therapies one one therapy that has come across is, I believe.

00:56:15.390 --> 00:56:21.900 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: your daughter is involved in equine therapy i've heard a lot about that do you think that that would be of value.

00:56:22.320 --> 00:56:25.740 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: to people that are targets of Narcissus.

00:56:25.950 --> 00:56:36.330 The 2 Survivors: I think that would be fabulous I don't know how much you know about horses, but ironically that's how I met my abuser but the horse when you're with a horse.

00:56:36.840 --> 00:56:47.130 The 2 Survivors: there's much like a dog, but with them because they're so huge you're so on focus and they can trample you invite you, and yet there's a love.

00:56:47.940 --> 00:56:57.360 The 2 Survivors: hmm here's a kindness and there's a warmth with these horses and I remember in my darkest days, because I, I was riding at the time.

00:56:57.780 --> 00:57:05.460 The 2 Survivors: Just this massive animals put his head on my shoulder because I think he knew something was wrong and.

00:57:06.270 --> 00:57:16.860 The 2 Survivors: There is equine therapy and I think it's a wonderful thing, and yes, my daughter Jenny does do a lot of that and her life has their horses and i'll never forget in the.

00:57:17.370 --> 00:57:35.250 The 2 Survivors: In the 10th grade she had to write a series of compositions for college and she wrote this one that still sticks with me, my friends have betrayed me, but my horses never have and that says it all.

00:57:35.310 --> 00:57:44.490 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: may have made well you know, like like we definitely probably at a later date, discuss about a third follow up show but focused.

00:57:44.490 --> 00:57:57.630 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: On therapy, because I think as as Barbara you mentioned earlier, and as you both mentioned, I mean our society is misinformed there's lack of education on it, we all have to as a community as survivors.

00:57:57.660 --> 00:58:06.060 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: In your own room have to inform and educate people and there's more than just a traditional therapy, we know, sometimes biases are involved in that.

00:58:06.420 --> 00:58:12.900 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But there is equine therapy there's alternative therapy, I know for epilepsy this cannabis i'm not saying cannabis can heal narcissism.

00:58:13.260 --> 00:58:25.890 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: But definitely education or entertainment with education edutainment is what I think is another model that probably is for you to explore Barbara going forward it's my own.

00:58:26.820 --> 00:58:31.170 The 2 Survivors: Having the toolbox, because I studied stress management, because I was into yoga.

00:58:31.710 --> 00:58:32.130 The 2 Survivors: So I.

00:58:32.940 --> 00:58:36.990 The 2 Survivors: I believe in having a tool box of techniques.

00:58:37.050 --> 00:58:37.740 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: which I use.

00:58:37.830 --> 00:58:39.960 The 2 Survivors: Which is probably why I survived.

00:58:40.440 --> 00:58:53.760 The 2 Survivors: yeah practice yoga I write in journals I do, I have a breathing practice I do weights I I do a lot and then art and poetry all different techniques in order to survive.

00:58:54.210 --> 00:59:05.910 The 2 Survivors: And I will say in our support groups there are events words picture sounds that trigger us by trigger I mean they send us back to that point.

00:59:06.390 --> 00:59:27.060 The 2 Survivors: and Barbara has done like we'll just stop and just say we're going to do a breathing exercise and we just asked stop and do a breathing exercise that she correlates and just to get us back to home that to a safe place in our bodies.

00:59:27.390 --> 00:59:27.840 The 2 Survivors: Because.

00:59:27.960 --> 00:59:40.200 The 2 Survivors: A lot of things are very triggering yes and I learned, you cannot get to the mind through the mind Now you can only get to the mind through the body, so you can't tell someone to just come down.

00:59:43.350 --> 00:59:45.870 The 2 Survivors: Just relax yeah no it doesn't work.

00:59:46.260 --> 00:59:48.120 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: times you just have to put music or create the.

00:59:48.120 --> 00:59:50.160 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Environment healthy ways like.

00:59:50.220 --> 00:59:54.570 The 2 Survivors: breathing and my musical different ways to get through the body.

00:59:54.780 --> 00:59:57.810 The 2 Survivors: Even going to skim right through the body to the mind yeah.

00:59:58.050 --> 01:00:05.910 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Well, we only have one minute left and we definitely will be in touch about a follow up on equine therapy, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here.

01:00:06.120 --> 01:00:12.780 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: frank about health 102 at gmail COM, please email me all your requests for any of the information about their survivors group.

01:00:13.080 --> 01:00:18.870 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: they're based out of Boston so if you're local you'll definitely have easy reach both agenda and Barbara.

01:00:19.290 --> 01:00:32.700 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: At the same time, stay tuned here for another form of alternative therapy right here on talk radio dot nyc for our own Johnny tsunami, to talk about planet his episode this current episode of planet pocket low low at 6pm.

01:00:33.210 --> 01:00:44.040 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: and stay tuned for another special episode of frank about health next week, where I will actually be talking from someone who is in Switzerland in real time, thank you for.

01:00:44.580 --> 01:00:51.990 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: attending this episode of frank about health right here on talk radio dot nyc and on Facebook live see you all next week.

01:00:52.020 --> 01:00:52.140 and

01:00:53.670 --> 01:01:04.710 The 2 Survivors: Please reach out if you know if you yourself are having problems or you know somebody or, if you think you know somebody reach out and we want to help, we want to be here for you.

01:01:05.430 --> 01:01:08.640 Frank R. Harrison - frankabouthealth102@gmail.com: Okay, everybody that's a wrap thanks for being here and we'll.

01:01:08.640 --> 01:01:08.910 The 2 Survivors: See you.

01:01:09.210 --> 01:01:11.040 The 2 Survivors: Next week, take care.

01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:11.850 bye.

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