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Hot Women Rock

Thursday, August 12, 2021
12
Aug
Facebook Live Video from 2021/08/12 - Challenging the Stigma of Domestic Abuse

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/08/12 - Challenging the Stigma of Domestic Abuse

 

2021/08/12 - Challenging the Stigma of Domestic Abuse

[NEW EPISODE] Challenging the Stigma of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse can take place at any time in a woman’s life and in any circumstance. It may take the form of physical or sexual abuse or it could be mental or emotional abuse.

Whatever the circumstances, any women who are suffering from domestic abuse will benefit from realizing that they are not alone, and options are available.

My guest this week, Sharon Livermore is a domestic abuse survivor, activist, campaigner, who uses her company, Kameo Recruitment, as a platform to raise awareness of domestic abuse. She is an Ambassador for the Employers Initiative on Domestic Abuse and a Campaigner for Domestic Abuse Alliance, where she is working to create a positive impact and end the perception and associated stigma that comes from the belief that ‘what happens in someone’s home isn’t our business.’

Domestic abuse is everyone’s business. She will be sharing the signs to look out for in friends or employees who may be experiencing domestic abuse.


Tune in for this unmissable conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Pat starts the show off with news in the media on menopause. She discusses the increasing number of women who are suing their employer due to unfair dismissal and lack of women’s health support. She went on to talk about the effects of lack of estrogen in older women and how it can impact their bodies. Before the break Pat and her guest, Sharon Livermore, briefly spoke about Sharon’s background in domestic abuse awareness.

Segment 2

Back from the break, Pat formally introduces her guest Sharon Livermore. Sharon is a domestic abuse survivor and activist. Sharon’s company,Kameo Recruitment, is used as a platform to raise awareness of domestic abuse. Sharon talks about her experience with domestic abuse. She shares a personal perspective on what it’s like to be a victim. Pat and Sharon broke down the different aspects of abuse. Sharon shared ways employers could educate themselves on the issue and how they can benefit the victim.

Segment 3

Back from the break, Pat and Sharon talk about what employers can do to identify and assist victims of abuse amongst their employees. Sharon goes to talk in greater detail about her ex husband and the affects his abuse had on her work, mental, and everyday life. She talks about how the lack of education on abuse can really leave someone in fear and danger. Stressing the importance of awareness not only for employers, but also employees.

Segment 4

After the break, Sharon gives her tips for women who are struggling with domestic abuse. She advises victims going through domestic abuse to find support. Sharon adds if there’s children involved to be sure the right systems are in place so you can take action safely. Before the end of the segment, Pat and Sharon spoke more on ways employers can help their struggling employees. Sharon says employers should offer flexibility and understanding. She adds it would be helpful to give your employee time to heal and get back on their feet. Pat mentions another helpful way employers could support their employee going through abuse is to have help publicly available.


Transcript

00:00:30.690 --> 00:00:43.830 Pat Duckworth: Good morning yo good afternoon UK and good evening if you're in India, why do I always talk about India because i've been there, a number of times i've got lots of good friends in India, so I hope some of them are listening today.

00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:53.940 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at manacles we dare to talk about everything manacles.

00:00:54.480 --> 00:01:05.970 Pat Duckworth: including some subjects where you might think he said about metaphors it could be and that's why we're talking about it my guest today is Sharon livermore i'm going to be introducing her to you.

00:01:06.450 --> 00:01:15.690 Pat Duckworth: Towards the end of this section, and you will find out all the amazing things about Sharon, but for the moment we're going back to looking at what's in the media.

00:01:16.050 --> 00:01:22.710 Pat Duckworth: Now here in the UK during the summer, we have what's called silly season I don't know if it's called silly season in America.

00:01:23.520 --> 00:01:36.120 Pat Duckworth: it's just when it's summer, a lot of journalists are on holiday they don't know what to talk about, and so you just get crazy stuff in the media, so girls get a bit difficult looking at the media at this time of the year.

00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:43.080 Pat Duckworth: But I have found some stories for you and you know that I always love, a good food story, I think that.

00:01:43.380 --> 00:01:54.690 Pat Duckworth: If you've got a favorite food and you think oh yeah I shouldn't really be eating that I bet you could find some research that says it's good for you, whatever it is, and my example today is.

00:01:55.140 --> 00:02:05.040 Pat Duckworth: Why calorie consumption might be linked to better metabolic health in women over 50 who knew and this comes from mind body green and.

00:02:05.520 --> 00:02:12.030 Pat Duckworth: If you if you think pattern looks a bit different today it's because I broke my glasses this week and i'm wearing these ones that make me a little.

00:02:12.420 --> 00:02:21.360 Pat Duckworth: bit like brains from thunderbirds and also it means us keep lifting my head up to read things so do excuse me if you're watching on Facebook.

00:02:21.930 --> 00:02:26.280 Pat Duckworth: So why calorie consumption might be linked to better metabolic health.

00:02:26.640 --> 00:02:40.080 Pat Duckworth: metabolic syndrome refers to a group of factors linked to an increased risk of heart disease and other serious health conditions, according to the NI ni hs national heart lung and blood Institute.

00:02:40.920 --> 00:02:55.950 Pat Duckworth: During a recent study published in multiples the journal of the North American medical society consider the influence of certain lifestyle factors on that risk specifically during menopause and they looked up women in Korea.

00:02:56.820 --> 00:03:15.300 Pat Duckworth: Initial results of the study suggests that postman or menopausal women have a higher risk of metabolic syndrome than premenopausal women and the study use data from 7131 pre and post menopausal Korean women or over the age of 20.

00:03:16.350 --> 00:03:33.510 Pat Duckworth: And they found that these women who ate a lot of courage rice because that's a popular dish dish in Korea and contains a high concentration of curcumin, which is the active ingredient in.

00:03:34.920 --> 00:03:40.020 Pat Duckworth: Oh, my God I forgotten now, I have to come back to that temporary its temporary that's right.

00:03:40.650 --> 00:03:51.150 Pat Duckworth: And it's helpful in preventing and or treating metabolic syndrome, because of its antioxidant and anti inflammatory properties properties so some of the string.

00:03:51.510 --> 00:03:56.310 Pat Duckworth: turmeric T there's that golden milk drink that you can make with turmeric.

00:03:56.820 --> 00:04:02.880 Pat Duckworth: which you know is very anti inflammatory so it's useful to see a piece of research that says this is good for us.

00:04:03.270 --> 00:04:10.530 Pat Duckworth: and eating calories that have turmeric in the could be a good thing and help our metabolic rate there you go carries good for us.

00:04:10.980 --> 00:04:15.480 Pat Duckworth: The next one, is a real silly season one okay so strap yourself in.

00:04:15.990 --> 00:04:23.940 Pat Duckworth: It says from the Guardian in the UK giraffe grandmother's are high value family members, say science is.

00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:32.490 Pat Duckworth: Now I talked about whales killer whales, the other week and how they are one of the only other mammals that actually have a menopause.

00:04:32.880 --> 00:04:39.480 Pat Duckworth: turns out giraffes and elephants stop being reproductive as they get later in life as well.

00:04:39.990 --> 00:04:55.950 Pat Duckworth: An expert experts conducting a review of giraffe social behavior say female giraffes live for about eight years after they are no longer reproductive sites about 30% of their lives, but they spend as non reproductive females.

00:04:57.120 --> 00:05:04.140 Pat Duckworth: A trait used to be thought an oddity in nature displayed only by humans in killer whales, who are known to go through menopause.

00:05:04.470 --> 00:05:13.890 Pat Duckworth: With the latter spending about 35% of their life in the post reproductive state, however, other animals, including elephants have also been found to have it.

00:05:14.640 --> 00:05:32.850 Pat Duckworth: I know you're thinking, why is this important, and this is part of the theory of why females humans go through menopause, which is about the fact that it can be very helpful for the survival of a tribe to have non reproductive females in the tribe.

00:05:33.930 --> 00:05:48.120 Pat Duckworth: Because they help the younger females, who are reproductive and help look after their offspring so apparently giraffes do it too it's not just also miles anymore we've got giraffes of elephants in there as well.

00:05:49.380 --> 00:06:01.800 Pat Duckworth: Okay, a little bit more seriously now coming from PVC today amy and mace have rolled out a menopausal support APP for their staff and their company.

00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:15.450 Pat Duckworth: who find careers for military personnel in the construction industry so not a place where you would think they would be so many females, but i'm guessing they've got a lot of support staff and female military staff as well.

00:06:16.470 --> 00:06:28.200 Pat Duckworth: they've launched a digital health platform peppy to support women going through menopause and other major health journeys by rolling out the pepe APP in their organization.

00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:37.980 Pat Duckworth: amy and mace are showing that menopause is not just a women's issue it's a workplace issues, yes spot on it's a workplace issue.

00:06:38.700 --> 00:06:50.640 Pat Duckworth: The medical support service connects us us directly to specialists menopause experts fire once one chat group chat or video consultation or through a library of free events videos and articles.

00:06:51.060 --> 00:06:54.060 Pat Duckworth: So really interesting that they've done that.

00:06:54.900 --> 00:07:05.040 Pat Duckworth: Another one from the guardian and I can't tell you how many people sent me this article to say pat look at this because they all know that I work in this area of menopause in the workplace.

00:07:05.580 --> 00:07:14.430 Pat Duckworth: So from the Guardian menopause at Center of increasing number of UK employment tribunals, this was reported all over the press this week.

00:07:15.090 --> 00:07:25.410 Pat Duckworth: Is a rise in women taking employers to call citing event as menopause as proof of unfair dismissal and discrimination.

00:07:25.860 --> 00:07:34.200 Pat Duckworth: So, apart from the positive reasons why employers will be supporting women, you also want to keep out of employment tribunal.

00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:43.980 Pat Duckworth: Experts say the rising cases shows, women are increasingly feeling empowered to challenge employers who do not understand the impact the menopause can have.

00:07:44.490 --> 00:07:52.710 Pat Duckworth: An offer them support, I can see that this will carry on building said D Marie the founder and Chief Executive of menopause experts.

00:07:52.980 --> 00:08:02.310 Pat Duckworth: Until such time as there are some really big group lawsuits which i'm sure there will be Hopefully there won't be hopefully employers will get a grip and help women out.

00:08:02.880 --> 00:08:12.120 Pat Duckworth: The women in a lot of the big companies already setting up their own private internal medical support groups if they decide that issues of not supported by.

00:08:12.420 --> 00:08:27.090 Pat Duckworth: HR you could potentially have a real problem, so I hope with the work that we're doing those was working in this field, employers will avoid this they'll see that there's an employment workplace issue and they'll do something about it.

00:08:28.470 --> 00:08:30.870 Pat Duckworth: Okay, my next one, I thought was quite funny.

00:08:32.010 --> 00:08:43.890 Pat Duckworth: not really funny from parade 12 weird annoying and scary things that can happen when you go through menopause and what to do about them, I was attracted by the headline and thought perhaps i'm going to learn something.

00:08:44.670 --> 00:08:56.400 Pat Duckworth: not really allergies, so if you've been subject to allergies allergies might get worse that might be well, it will be because of the changes in your hormones and the effect that that has.

00:08:56.880 --> 00:09:10.020 Pat Duckworth: on so many systems in your body East region is such a powerful hormone and joint pain yeah a lot of women talk to me about their joint pain, when there are my courses, or if they're looking for help.

00:09:11.010 --> 00:09:17.400 Pat Duckworth: And that can be down to a shortage of magnesium so taking some magnesium can be really helpful.

00:09:18.570 --> 00:09:28.980 Pat Duckworth: brittle nails yes, that can be an issue again because of the effect of estrogen because it's such a powerful growth hormone changes in taste or a dry mouth.

00:09:29.850 --> 00:09:47.490 Pat Duckworth: That one was a bit new to me, but you know the skin can get very dry with lack of estrogen, so this is probably related to that, and you might get changes in the way you experience tastes itching again can be an issue because of the dryness of skin when it doesn't have so much estrogen.

00:09:48.540 --> 00:10:01.620 Pat Duckworth: vaginal dryness are big subject which we will come back to at a later date, do you know i've had about four speakers who talk about sexual health referred to me to talk on the show and.

00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:07.260 Pat Duckworth: I don't know why I finally got four of them obviously it's something that we need to talk about.

00:10:08.340 --> 00:10:18.990 Pat Duckworth: Increased urinary infections and yet that can be associated with the dryness in the vagina and the thickness of the vaginal wall.

00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:37.830 Pat Duckworth: That can lead to more infections increased migraines if you've been susceptible to migraine you might get more of them when you're going through menopause if your migraines were associated to your menstrual cycle, then again much more likely to happen when you're going through menopause.

00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:47.190 Pat Duckworth: This isn't painting very happy picture is it but it's good to know this, so you can go Oh, if that happens to me, I know that it might be my mentor pools.

00:10:47.730 --> 00:10:56.820 Pat Duckworth: Increased increased risk of cardiovascular disease and that's because estrogen plays such a huge part in protecting your heart health.

00:10:57.300 --> 00:11:08.160 Pat Duckworth: So there are lots of things to do, actions to take to keep your heart healthy once you get to perimenopause the years leading up to when your period stop.

00:11:09.180 --> 00:11:20.460 Pat Duckworth: increased risk of osteoporosis and that's to do with your bones getting more porous and yet that's another effect of lower amounts of estrogen.

00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:27.180 Pat Duckworth: Some of that is to do with been taking exercise and eating the right things, keep your bones healthy.

00:11:27.450 --> 00:11:35.580 Pat Duckworth: you'll be pleased to know that my guests next week Maggie fordham is going to be talking about nutrition exercise so we're not leaving you out on a limb there.

00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:47.340 Pat Duckworth: increased risk of pelvic floor weakness, you have to do your qigong exercises, you know there's exercises where you have to pull your pelvic floor up and hold it.

00:11:48.180 --> 00:11:57.930 Pat Duckworth: Important to do those for your pelvic floor health, so all of these things that stuff you can do about it doesn't have to be scary it's just.

00:11:58.410 --> 00:12:12.000 Pat Duckworth: What happens in our body, because estrogen is such a powerful hormone in our system, even though it's not described as one of the major hormones, it does major hormone work, so we have to be aware of it.

00:12:13.140 --> 00:12:25.800 Pat Duckworth: whoa after that i'm going to take a slightly more lighthouses introduction to Sharon to say, but even though we're going to be talking about a heavy subject about Sharon is one of the SMILEY as people i've met.

00:12:26.160 --> 00:12:45.600 Pat Duckworth: I met her back in January 2020 just before we went into lockdown and she always has this massive smile on her face and sure going back to that food thing I know that you give away a lot of cupcakes.

00:12:46.710 --> 00:12:48.810 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely, you are correct, yes.

00:12:49.830 --> 00:12:58.710 Sharon Livermore: cupcakes to all of our candidates that we try to me that we placed in job say a cake makes people smile, which is probably why smile, a lot of the time to.

00:13:00.300 --> 00:13:03.030 Pat Duckworth: start a whole cupcake things start.

00:13:03.810 --> 00:13:12.150 Sharon Livermore: To be honest, it was born from the start of when I said upcoming recruitment, I wanted to give something a bit different to the Kansas slow pace.

00:13:12.360 --> 00:13:25.620 Sharon Livermore: So I have an amazing lady and local lady to me he makes cupcakes but she personalizes the top of that, and which is it just makes it a little bit more friendly and and personal for each of the candidate so yeah some people call me the cupcake recruiter.

00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:34.170 Sharon Livermore: yeah it kind of follows us around now so me and the team, or if we go people say if you've got cakes so yeah maybe we should branch into a bakery is.

00:13:35.820 --> 00:13:37.140 Sharon Livermore: Definitely very well received.

00:13:38.550 --> 00:13:39.150 Pat Duckworth: cupcake.

00:13:44.160 --> 00:13:51.720 Pat Duckworth: was thinking about it today, before we came on the show and I thought yeah I bet you see a lot of smiles of everybody smiles when they fear.

00:13:51.720 --> 00:13:52.290 cupcakes.

00:13:53.400 --> 00:13:55.890 Sharon Livermore: No definitely definitely just the job that's for sure.

00:13:57.600 --> 00:14:10.740 Pat Duckworth: So we're going to break in a moment when we come back we'll be talking to Sharon now, this is a deep subject its domestic violence and you might be thinking what's that got to do with menopause, it has to do with every stage of life.

00:14:10.980 --> 00:14:19.770 Pat Duckworth: But it's important that we talk about it, just like menopause, we have to break the to burn in order for people to get the help that they need.

00:14:20.130 --> 00:14:36.930 Pat Duckworth: So i'll be talking sharing about her own very personal experience of this is what she does now to help other people, apart from taking cupcakes round to the women's refuge, which I know she does so join us after the break and hear more about sharing take care.

00:16:52.650 --> 00:17:03.150 Pat Duckworth: and welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause and we really want to empower women leaders to talk about this subject today.

00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:14.340 Pat Duckworth: So my guest is Sharon livermore and she is a domestic abuse survivor activists campaigner, as well as being the director of cameo recruitment in Cambridge.

00:17:14.760 --> 00:17:24.150 Pat Duckworth: She said that cameo in 2018 to not only recruit but to use as a platform to wear raise awareness of domestic abuse.

00:17:24.990 --> 00:17:29.820 Pat Duckworth: And, along with her team she actively encourages businesses across the UK.

00:17:30.510 --> 00:17:39.900 Pat Duckworth: To clue up on the subject now, you might be thinking, why is this a subject for employment, you will find out stay tuned because this is important stuff.

00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:48.090 Pat Duckworth: They educate businesses on the many forms of abuse can take the myths and how to identify a victim in the workplace.

00:17:48.660 --> 00:17:58.200 Pat Duckworth: Sharon is an ambassador for the employers initiative on domestic abuse and a campaigner for domestic abuse alliance where she's working to create a positive impact.

00:17:58.530 --> 00:18:12.960 Pat Duckworth: And then the section and associated stigma that comes from the belief that what happens in someone's home isn't our business domestic abuse is everyone's business good afternoon Sharon.

00:18:13.590 --> 00:18:16.440 Sharon Livermore: Good afternoon, Pat, thank you very much for having me today.

00:18:16.860 --> 00:18:22.980 Pat Duckworth: No, I mean domestic abuse has been going on for hundreds probably thousands of years.

00:18:23.400 --> 00:18:34.200 Pat Duckworth: Last year it really came into the headlines because of the increased incidences because of people being locked down and what was going on in homes at that time.

00:18:34.770 --> 00:18:46.410 Pat Duckworth: Also, with major sporting events like the euro 2020 if your team if if no not your team if a person's team doesn't win.

00:18:47.220 --> 00:19:00.270 Pat Duckworth: There will be a lot of domestic abuse cases that night, which is a horrible thing it stops me from enjoying sporting events, because I think how many women are going to suffer today because of this.

00:19:01.050 --> 00:19:10.860 Sharon Livermore: yeah absolutely that's the biggest thing I think that's the thing you be sporting events, they are fantastic they get people together, but the outcome of it, the aftermath of it if.

00:19:12.300 --> 00:19:19.050 Sharon Livermore: They lose you're absolutely right it's terrifying for people that are living in this situation, so it has brought.

00:19:19.620 --> 00:19:24.900 Sharon Livermore: covert and supporting large sporting events issue of definitely brought domestic abuse to the forefront of it.

00:19:25.350 --> 00:19:40.020 Sharon Livermore: But it's become a pandemic within the pandemic, unfortunately with covert especially and there's a lot of people that are trapped in their homes and they have no reason to be able to get out to go to work and do the things that they were doing before as a safe space for them, really.

00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:46.080 Pat Duckworth: yeah so going back to your story is it Okay, for you to talk about your story.

00:19:46.530 --> 00:19:55.080 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely, so my story and I came extremely close to becoming a statistic of domestic abuse myself, it was around five years ago now.

00:19:55.560 --> 00:20:09.030 Sharon Livermore: And I was in the position that i'm in now working in recruitment, so those of you that don't know what recruitment is is a very customer facing and dealing with candidates liaising with people all day, every day, so you have to have.

00:20:09.990 --> 00:20:21.420 Sharon Livermore: A smile on your face, shall we say, my smile now is a genuine one, but, at the time, I became an extremely good actress in being able to cover up potentially what was going on behind the scenes.

00:20:22.290 --> 00:20:33.840 Sharon Livermore: I met my perpetrator, while I was at work on a training course and and I do a lot of obviously educating to to businesses as pat said previously.

00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:44.820 Sharon Livermore: One of the quotes that I read when I am doing that is about what it feels like to be a victim, which I think is something that everyone should try and understand and it talks about.

00:20:45.240 --> 00:20:56.670 Sharon Livermore: Being in a box, so you start off when you meet someone feeling like a princess you're being treated you're being spoiled you then get put in the box and, over time, the box closes and you change your the way you are.

00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:58.890 Sharon Livermore: to conform with that box, so you change.

00:20:59.580 --> 00:21:11.790 Sharon Livermore: How, you are perceived by others, how you dress how you speak and eventually you're trapped in the box and there is no way out of this box and that's when you realize that, actually, this is a situation that you don't potentially want to be in.

00:21:12.210 --> 00:21:19.950 Sharon Livermore: And, and that was exactly how I was it just became to a point where, at the time I experience and physical abuse.

00:21:20.670 --> 00:21:30.240 Sharon Livermore: and emotional abuse, but if i'm honest my personal experience the emotional abuse was much harder to live with, because it gave me anxiety it gave me and.

00:21:30.630 --> 00:21:45.750 Sharon Livermore: Stress all of the time I was constantly worrying about what time I was going to get home from work or is he going to turn on, but one of my networking events and things like that so and yeah it's it's not a nice situation to live for him, and this is what I do what I do on a daily basis.

00:21:46.350 --> 00:21:54.240 Pat Duckworth: yeah so we've had a question from stephanie who says when we think of domestic violence, we always think about the physical aspect of it.

00:21:54.570 --> 00:22:01.890 Pat Duckworth: And we'll share and also address the aspect of gaslighting and psychological violence, and I think you've just touched on that.

00:22:02.310 --> 00:22:07.920 Pat Duckworth: That often this starts psychologically and emotionally rather than stopping physically.

00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:15.870 Sharon Livermore: yeah and there's so many different aspects to abuse and this again, is why educate businesses on and absolutely right, people do.

00:22:16.320 --> 00:22:24.630 Sharon Livermore: Think of domestic abuse as being the violent side, so the physical side, but there is an economic abuse, so we talk about financial abuse and.

00:22:25.020 --> 00:22:31.470 Sharon Livermore: That can be where someone's wages or salaries paid into someone else's account and they're holding the purse strings, shall we say.

00:22:31.830 --> 00:22:42.510 Sharon Livermore: that's not okay if it's not agreed with and stopping some of them working all together and controlling them by financially not giving them the independence to do things they want to.

00:22:42.930 --> 00:22:51.450 Sharon Livermore: The other thing you've got is you know, putting people down your confidence gradually disappears, if someone tells you enough times that you look ugly you look fat you're not good.

00:22:51.780 --> 00:22:55.020 Sharon Livermore: In yourself, then people do unfortunately start to believe that.

00:22:55.410 --> 00:23:05.670 Sharon Livermore: And gaslighting absolutely when the perpetrators try and make the victim feel like it didn't happen or say what are you talking about I didn't do that or try and sort of downplay what they've done.

00:23:06.330 --> 00:23:12.420 Sharon Livermore: Other things as well, which do happen, unfortunately, is where the perpetrator will do something to a victim.

00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:19.380 Sharon Livermore: And then afterwards they will then try and get the sympathy, by trying to say they're going to go off and do something to themselves.

00:23:19.740 --> 00:23:27.240 Sharon Livermore: Then the victim has to kind of feel sorry for them there's so much manipulation that goes on within relationships that are in this.

00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:40.560 Sharon Livermore: You know the domestic abuse field, and unfortunately there's a lot of aspects that unless you're educated on it's almost too late, before you realize that that's happening to you, which is where education is so important.

00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:47.970 Pat Duckworth: yeah because a lot of it, because the person, the victim of the abuse.

00:23:48.990 --> 00:24:01.290 Pat Duckworth: doesn't feel they can talk about it to other people and the perpetrator gradually separates them from people they could talk to is that something you experienced being separated from friends and family.

00:24:01.620 --> 00:24:12.870 Sharon Livermore: yeah absolutely and I think it is important to say that not everyone that's separated from friends and family is a victim of abuse, some people do meet the love of their life and decide that they want to spend every minute of every day with them and that's absolutely fine.

00:24:13.260 --> 00:24:20.310 Sharon Livermore: But, for me it was at the time, and no we're not going to see your family and more say with my closest friends so.

00:24:20.670 --> 00:24:27.450 Sharon Livermore: My perpetrator knew that my support was one of my my best friend so at the time and.

00:24:27.750 --> 00:24:33.870 Sharon Livermore: I stopped seeing her say March we never went out she always came to the House, because then he can listen in on what we were talking about.

00:24:34.230 --> 00:24:42.000 Sharon Livermore: And, and then I think as things got worse, he realized that he would have been my support, so he actually blocked her phone number in my phone.

00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:48.120 Sharon Livermore: And, and with a busy life I kind of just thought well hang on she must be busy i'm busy i'm in time rolls on.

00:24:48.510 --> 00:24:54.570 Sharon Livermore: And she actually called me at work, one day, and said, can you do me a favor can you just check your mobile and I said why.

00:24:54.840 --> 00:25:07.440 Sharon Livermore: And she said i'm not good with technology part i'm really not so I had no idea where to look and she stopped talking through it and I will yeah your numbers in this, he said yeah it's been blocks and and that's what I think it really hit home actually.

00:25:08.010 --> 00:25:16.290 Sharon Livermore: This wasn't just a bit of control, this was really trying to segregate me from people and it is scary because when you're at that point, who do eternity.

00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:26.070 Sharon Livermore: And, fortunately, for me, my friend did reach out, and I was able to then have her support so she knew that I was preparing myself to obviously leave the relationship.

00:25:26.490 --> 00:25:36.750 Sharon Livermore: And, but again that's something we need to be speaking about, because when you leave a relationship is when you're most in danger, and I did not realize this at the time and that's when I put my life in danger.

00:25:38.010 --> 00:25:42.900 Pat Duckworth: yeah Do you remember you're probably too young to listen to the arches.

00:25:43.980 --> 00:25:45.660 Sharon Livermore: I haven't listened to the arches know.

00:25:46.650 --> 00:25:56.460 Pat Duckworth: So the archos is a radio soap opera For those of you never heard it it's it's called is its subtitle is an everyday story of country folk.

00:25:56.970 --> 00:26:12.270 Pat Duckworth: It started out during the Second World War, as a way of informing farmers about agricultural issues, but since then it's just a soap opera now they had like a two years story that they gradually built up where one of the.

00:26:14.190 --> 00:26:18.930 Pat Duckworth: characters was gradually being coerced by her partner.

00:26:19.260 --> 00:26:30.510 Pat Duckworth: And as listeners if you knew anything about the subject you knew what was happening, if you didn't know anything about it, it was a real education and they just kept that story bubbling in the background.

00:26:30.870 --> 00:26:37.590 Pat Duckworth: Until the point where she was really separated from her family, none of her friends, nobody knew what was going on.

00:26:38.280 --> 00:26:50.280 Pat Duckworth: And there was quite a nasty into the story, but it was very powerful and it brought home to people how this can be a slow build up and what happens when you try and leave it.

00:26:50.820 --> 00:26:54.690 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely, and I think that is the thing it doesn't happen overnight and.

00:26:55.260 --> 00:27:01.740 Sharon Livermore: it's one of these situations where you'd like to say you don't potentially know you're in that situation, and if you let you happy education.

00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:09.150 Sharon Livermore: it's really hard to see and i've had people, men and women that have come to my seminars that have.

00:27:09.540 --> 00:27:16.980 Sharon Livermore: listened and then gone away, and then a few months later pop me an email and said Thank you so much, I didn't realize that I was in a relationship.

00:27:17.250 --> 00:27:25.350 Sharon Livermore: That was going that way and i've been able to get out of it, so I truly believe education is the key of it is is educating people, so they have more.

00:27:25.830 --> 00:27:33.300 Sharon Livermore: knowledge and understanding to make those decisions to get away from a relationship before you're really in depth involved with it, should we say.

00:27:33.810 --> 00:27:43.170 Pat Duckworth: yeah and that's what we're talking about this today from today, we give one person, the chance to change their life or if we save a life.

00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:54.810 Pat Duckworth: It makes this show really thing you know, because we have to keep talking about it, I know that Sharon talks in lots of different venues about this because getting that message out there.

00:27:55.470 --> 00:28:13.620 Pat Duckworth: Who knows how many lives she's already saved, so this is really important that we're able to talk about it and you've now bringing it to employers, so the employers become more aware, do you think it's so they recognize it or so that if somebody comes to see them they know what to do.

00:28:14.130 --> 00:28:18.990 Sharon Livermore: I think both, and I know we are going to talk about this in a bit more detail with the employee side but.

00:28:19.320 --> 00:28:30.150 Sharon Livermore: I definitely think employers need to understand, they have a duty of care to their employees so by being educated and understanding what it is and what they can do to support their employees.

00:28:30.510 --> 00:28:37.830 Sharon Livermore: They will get the best out of their employees anyway, they will retain their workforce, they will also attract new work and members of.

00:28:38.370 --> 00:28:47.040 Sharon Livermore: The workforce to them if they've got a good, well being program and I know that from working in recruitment, so people are looking for these things 100% it's really important that employers.

00:28:47.430 --> 00:28:53.190 Sharon Livermore: Listen, and start making those steps to and stopping domestic abuse alongside everyone else, they should be.

00:28:53.700 --> 00:29:05.280 Pat Duckworth: yeah fantastic so after the break we're going to be talking more about what employers could be spotting and what action they can take how they can support their star.

00:29:05.610 --> 00:29:18.540 Pat Duckworth: And maybe even some tips for women who are in this situation, about how to safely get out of it join us off the bright when Sharon will be sharing more about what she tells to employers fever.

00:31:48.720 --> 00:32:02.940 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to hot women rock radio empowering women leaders at menopause where today we're talking about domestic abuse and how employers can notice the signs, or if an employee.

00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:11.160 Pat Duckworth: comes to them for help, what they can do to support them so Sharon tell us a bit more about what you do to educate employers.

00:32:11.850 --> 00:32:19.740 Sharon Livermore: yeah absolutely say and in a normal situation, I was been 45 minutes doing a really in depth presentation, there was so much to learn.

00:32:20.010 --> 00:32:28.440 Sharon Livermore: And what I do want to say is what I say on here is kind of a whistle stop tour, shall we say, i'm The key thing that I get asked about from employers is.

00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:39.780 Sharon Livermore: What what signs to look for and that can be really hard, because people are clever hiding what they're going through, we know that we can always adapt ourselves, so I think.

00:32:40.290 --> 00:32:48.900 Sharon Livermore: The signs that you look for is the differences in someone's behavior and that doesn't always need to be the manager of that department that's going to notice that.

00:32:49.290 --> 00:33:00.150 Sharon Livermore: It will potentially be the colleagues sit alongside somebody so in my situation and my then husband used to if he would call me at work, for example.

00:33:00.690 --> 00:33:04.620 Sharon Livermore: I am very chatty I love speaking on the phone normally so I can spend ages on the phone.

00:33:05.190 --> 00:33:12.930 Sharon Livermore: And I talked back, obviously, but if he was calling me he would be giving me abuse down the phone and i'd be holding and the phone to my ear as tight as I could.

00:33:13.290 --> 00:33:17.370 Sharon Livermore: to know hoping, no one could hear at all i'd be saying is yes, yes.

00:33:17.790 --> 00:33:25.500 Sharon Livermore: Yes, like that, because I couldn't say anything back so if someone was listening to that they either have been thinking hang on what what is going on here.

00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:33.960 Sharon Livermore: But nobody ever asked me and other signs for me again I had to be home on time, so if I was five minutes late at home.

00:33:34.350 --> 00:33:40.140 Sharon Livermore: It was horrendous so at 25 plus five when the phone rang and I had to leave a half as five.

00:33:40.530 --> 00:33:49.200 Sharon Livermore: I would speak at 100 miles an hour I try and get that person on the phone if i'm honest I probably sounded rude to some people, because I was so scared.

00:33:49.560 --> 00:33:57.240 Sharon Livermore: That I didn't want to talk to them and and again that was something my you know, the way that I spoke to people change at that time of day.

00:33:57.690 --> 00:34:11.910 Sharon Livermore: So I think those kinds of changes absolutely the other things as well, I would say is, if you know your colleagues, you know what they do at weekends you speak to them, so you really like chatting on Monday morning with a cup of coffee what's everyone been up to.

00:34:14.970 --> 00:34:16.050 Sharon Livermore: very true and I thought.

00:34:16.680 --> 00:34:17.880 Sharon Livermore: Man if somebody.

00:34:18.090 --> 00:34:24.180 Sharon Livermore: used to spend a lot of time with their family you're going to see that their system Sunday lunch that was part of their routine.

00:34:24.480 --> 00:34:31.860 Sharon Livermore: They didn't meet somebody else, and then they don't ever speak about their family again Okay, as I said before, it may be because they've met the person of their dreams.

00:34:32.250 --> 00:34:44.940 Sharon Livermore: But that doesn't mean you step away from your family or together so again that could be raising those alarm bells so there's like three tiny things that could potentially happen and other things changing someone's behavior.

00:34:45.300 --> 00:34:54.120 Sharon Livermore: So, are they more depressed are they anxious and have they all of a sudden stops looking after themselves, you know they used to make themselves look Nice.

00:34:54.630 --> 00:35:04.500 Sharon Livermore: They just lost that and I suppose the drive to wanting to continue doing that, and there was so many different aspects to really, really consider.

00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:11.580 Sharon Livermore: as well, I suppose the things to look for that don't necessarily come from the victim, but the perpetrator.

00:35:11.940 --> 00:35:19.410 Sharon Livermore: Is the perpetrator turning up at work, my then husband used to turn up at networking events, he does have no business to be there.

00:35:19.710 --> 00:35:24.630 Sharon Livermore: But he would turn up in the corner and make it like he was walking around and looking at people and stands.

00:35:25.110 --> 00:35:42.150 Sharon Livermore: I knew he was there, watching what I was doing so as soon as the man came towards me to talk to me, I would turn my back and pretend, I was doing something else, and now, why do my colleagues not say hang on a minute Why is he here, but they weren't educated on abuse.

00:35:44.760 --> 00:35:50.760 Pat Duckworth: If an employer starts to notice, some of these things, what for next step.

00:35:51.570 --> 00:35:58.320 Sharon Livermore: And yeah absolutely I mean the biggest thing that I can painful part is that every business has a domestic abuse policy and.

00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:09.570 Sharon Livermore: In that policy, it has all this information so that everybody in the business knows what to do now, nobody Unfortunately you can't just save somebody.

00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:16.200 Sharon Livermore: say what when we're not asking people to save that person is step in and resolve the situation.

00:36:16.530 --> 00:36:25.920 Sharon Livermore: What we're asking businesses to do is to have a policy, but then signposts these victims to the relevant people that have got the knowledge and the expertise to support them.

00:36:26.160 --> 00:36:41.910 Sharon Livermore: With the situation they're in so obviously if someone's trying to leave a situation and we know they're in a lot of danger, then get the police into the workplace and allow them to have that conversation in a safe space without a perpetrator there to find out what they need to do.

00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:51.030 Sharon Livermore: Also women's aid, I know they I don't know, obviously in America, if they have the same kind of things i'm sure they do, but cool something different potentially.

00:36:51.360 --> 00:37:01.830 Sharon Livermore: But in the UK we have women's aid we have men's aid we have refuge, we have the different charities and specialized in different areas so LGBT community.

00:37:02.250 --> 00:37:13.020 Sharon Livermore: And the band Community all of the different, and so we say cultures and things have the support groups and that's what we need to do is be offering safe spaces for people to get the support.

00:37:13.410 --> 00:37:18.570 Pat Duckworth: because sometimes being at work can be the safest place for a woman concert, you know she's like.

00:37:19.380 --> 00:37:19.650 yeah.

00:37:20.820 --> 00:37:22.860 Sharon Livermore: I mean, I know we do look at women in this.

00:37:23.250 --> 00:37:32.160 Sharon Livermore: But it happens to maintain, and so the work is place is a safe space, and it was my safe space, so I was able.

00:37:32.970 --> 00:37:43.230 Sharon Livermore: To try and be myself when I was in the workplace and and I knew as much as the phone calls are coming in the emails are coming and he could potentially turn up the majority of the time.

00:37:43.650 --> 00:38:00.180 Sharon Livermore: I was safe, and I think that's the the biggest thing is knowing, you have a safe space The other thing that I think is really important is if someone does come and says that i'm going through this I need help automatically with someone's going through, something we say take time off.

00:38:00.540 --> 00:38:02.640 Sharon Livermore: Go and have some time to yourself that.

00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:06.870 Sharon Livermore: Potentially is great, but for me when I went through what I did.

00:38:07.440 --> 00:38:14.760 Sharon Livermore: That evening or the morning after it happened, and fortunately his plan didn't work i'm lucky i'm still here today with my voice campaigning.

00:38:15.150 --> 00:38:22.110 Sharon Livermore: And, but I had a police car outside the office protecting me because they hadn't found him, but I refuse, not to go to work.

00:38:22.410 --> 00:38:33.990 Sharon Livermore: Because that was my routine and, at the time, my whole life i've just been switched from underneath me and That was all I knew that was still part of the normal normal size.

00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:34.680 Sharon Livermore: So.

00:38:34.950 --> 00:38:46.530 Sharon Livermore: I think it's important that employers know that they shouldn't say you need to do this, or you need to do that, but they give em victims, the option of whether they want to stay at work or have some time off, etc.

00:38:47.220 --> 00:39:05.700 Pat Duckworth: Is there a way that managers can prepare for this conversation I mean it's such a sensitive conversation, it might happen that the person man or woman comes in and says, this is what i'm experiencing or it might be that the manager is notice something, how do I prepare for that conversation.

00:39:06.570 --> 00:39:14.160 Sharon Livermore: it's really tough I think it's the same as any kind of awkward conversation, shall we say, 10 years ago people didn't speak about mental health and they were.

00:39:14.520 --> 00:39:21.390 Sharon Livermore: conversation now it's more acceptable to say to somebody i've noticed your bit depressed to you Okay, and people don't take offense.

00:39:21.780 --> 00:39:29.910 Sharon Livermore: So we need to get to that point but we're not there yet so for managers it's about creating a safe space, obviously, if you've got a team of people.

00:39:30.330 --> 00:39:38.250 Sharon Livermore: don't do it in front of everybody, and say oh Paul or Sarah I noticed you're not good what's going on, because you're not going to get the response you need.

00:39:38.550 --> 00:39:54.510 Sharon Livermore: You need to create a safe space where someone can comments they don't get in their personal space well try not to control the situation but ask if they're okay speak to them and say you know if there is something i'm here for you, and if someone does open up until you.

00:39:55.530 --> 00:39:59.550 Sharon Livermore: acknowledge the fact that they're brave and that they've you know we will do our best to help you.

00:40:00.120 --> 00:40:04.350 Sharon Livermore: will go with the speed that you want to, but we're going to ensure that we get the relevant support for you.

00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:12.780 Sharon Livermore: And so it's not an easy conversation, and if i'm honest people, probably aren't going to open up straightaway they're not going to turn around that first time and say this is what's happening.

00:40:13.380 --> 00:40:21.300 Sharon Livermore: I didn't I got to a point where I was broken and I had couldn't see any other way out, and I was at work up to sleep when I turned around and said.

00:40:21.990 --> 00:40:32.250 Sharon Livermore: i'm done, I will literally done with it and and that's when my employer does some really good things by helping me and I was able to go to the police and get the support I needed at that point.

00:40:32.670 --> 00:40:41.670 Sharon Livermore: And, but also to remember it does go on it doesn't just finish when that perpetrator is arrested or even your anything happens.

00:40:42.180 --> 00:40:51.150 Sharon Livermore: And this is where my then employer didn't have the tools to understand me education, because I then five months, he had to take holiday to go to crown court for a week.

00:40:51.930 --> 00:41:00.390 Sharon Livermore: That should if people have policies in place be compassionately so he's all of these things that we're trying to really get businesses to think about.

00:41:01.110 --> 00:41:05.490 Pat Duckworth: yeah so your employer was pretty good at helping you.

00:41:06.210 --> 00:41:22.560 Pat Duckworth: yeah I guess some employers get worried about what is this person your perpetrator going to turn up here what are they going to do, how do we protect the other stuff yeah the police involvement as well that there's a lot of moving parts.

00:41:23.640 --> 00:41:29.550 Sharon Livermore: yeah I think that is the thing it's you know it's scary for anybody that's involved in a situation like this absolutely.

00:41:29.790 --> 00:41:42.000 Sharon Livermore: And you do have to think about other members of the team and how it's impacting them and what that trigger some thinking, some of them if they've been through something before, so it is yeah it's a challenging situation absolutely.

00:41:43.020 --> 00:41:47.640 Sharon Livermore: My employees time like I say did do some really good things at the start, but then moving forward.

00:41:48.780 --> 00:41:57.270 Sharon Livermore: They could have handled things differently and that's no disrespect to them, and it was the fact they didn't have the education and that's why I campaign, because then people will hopefully.

00:41:57.510 --> 00:42:05.730 Sharon Livermore: realize what can be done at the store and following on with it might not even end for somebody for years, or it may never it may always be.

00:42:06.120 --> 00:42:20.430 Sharon Livermore: A traumatic experience for them to live through and yeah it does it has an impact, and it can impact everyone else, so you need to try and keep it away from as many people as you can was making sure that the victim is supported as much as possible.

00:42:21.180 --> 00:42:32.100 Pat Duckworth: In some ways, like conversation is a bit like the menopause situation you know operation for his book the right space to have the conversation make sure you've allowed enough time.

00:42:32.730 --> 00:42:33.210 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely.

00:42:33.570 --> 00:42:39.030 Pat Duckworth: This might be a short conversation, it might be two hours a jug of water and a box of tissues, you know.

00:42:39.450 --> 00:42:51.720 Pat Duckworth: It could be a much longer conversation that person you don't want to do it in an open plan setting and maybe that person doesn't want to be seen actually talking to their manager about it.

00:42:51.750 --> 00:42:52.020 Sharon Livermore: yeah.

00:42:52.080 --> 00:43:02.850 Pat Duckworth: You know, really think about the space for time and, as a manager taking a deep breath so that you're not gonna find something that's going to trigger the past.

00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:10.680 Sharon Livermore: yeah and I think, also as a manager, you know if someone does come out and say this, it can actually be quite hard for a manager to have to deal with.

00:43:11.250 --> 00:43:19.320 Sharon Livermore: And the manager needs to realize that they don't have to say this person, they need to sign post and but if it has triggered something in them or they're really struggling with it.

00:43:19.620 --> 00:43:27.930 Sharon Livermore: Then they need to then go and speak to someone else in the business or inside i've just had this This obviously competently you've got to keep confidential side of things, but.

00:43:28.320 --> 00:43:38.580 Sharon Livermore: I feel like I need to chat with somebody now and it's almost like where everyone comes together to support this past and it's I can knock on effects, but when we support each other, we make a difference, absolutely.

00:43:39.180 --> 00:43:44.610 Pat Duckworth: I love that and we support each other, we make a difference bodies business.

00:43:44.850 --> 00:43:45.420 Yes.

00:43:47.460 --> 00:44:01.260 Pat Duckworth: So join us after the bright one will be talking about what it is that employers can do something for women who are going through this experience some encouragement awesome tips for them so we'll see you after the break.

00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:47.130 Pat Duckworth: So welcome back to the last section of hot women rock radio empowering women leaders at menopause I hope you're feeling more empowered now to have this conversation so Sharon let's take a deep breath.

00:46:47.580 --> 00:46:56.940 Pat Duckworth: and go back to what is it a woman in this situation can do what what's your best tip for a woman who's experiencing some of this.

00:46:57.630 --> 00:47:03.720 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely, and I think every situation is different and that's one thing I really want to emphasize.

00:47:04.140 --> 00:47:19.170 Sharon Livermore: And, but it's get support, and it can be so tough to get the support that you need, and especially if you're perpetrator is around all of the time, but there are i'm sure, obviously in the UK there's a lot of safe spaces that have been created.

00:47:20.250 --> 00:47:28.980 Sharon Livermore: In boots, for example in the pharmacies, where you can say certain words to be able to get some sort of support, but that is confidential.

00:47:29.370 --> 00:47:33.210 Sharon Livermore: And, but ultimately in the workplace, if you are in the workplace.

00:47:33.510 --> 00:47:43.080 Sharon Livermore: Speak to the people you work with and asked them and tell them what you're going through, because the biggest thing is to remember it's not your fault, and I know I really struggled with that, I think.

00:47:43.410 --> 00:47:50.160 Sharon Livermore: That was one of the hardest things was actually saying this is what's happening to me because I was ashamed that it happened to me.

00:47:50.490 --> 00:47:58.830 Sharon Livermore: But it's not there's no reason to be ashamed so be a strong, as you can it's not easy absolutely it's not easy.

00:47:59.160 --> 00:48:08.280 Sharon Livermore: But get that support speak to people and start those conversations in a safe space, but do make sure if you are doing that that you don't take anything home with you.

00:48:08.580 --> 00:48:18.090 Sharon Livermore: That you'll perpetrator may find, because then that could potentially cause a very disastrous situation, so I know victims are the best people at keeping themselves safe.

00:48:18.450 --> 00:48:24.420 Sharon Livermore: And they will tell you that, so they know what they need to do, but absolutely start looking for that support where you can.

00:48:26.040 --> 00:48:29.490 Pat Duckworth: more complicated, if there are children involved as well.

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.290 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely yeah, this is the thing if children are involved it's not as easy as.

00:48:34.890 --> 00:48:43.560 Sharon Livermore: Just taking yourself, out of a situation so again, this is where you need to make sure that you've got the right systems in place to be able to keep yourself.

00:48:43.830 --> 00:48:49.710 Sharon Livermore: and your children safe when you get out of a situation, but there are people there to help and that's what I want to emphasize.

00:48:50.040 --> 00:49:01.980 Sharon Livermore: There are charities, there are people that are ready and waiting to help people that have been in this situation, because nobody should have to live through that fear of being in their own home and not feeling safe it's just not acceptable.

00:49:02.370 --> 00:49:08.520 Pat Duckworth: yeah absolutely and your one tip for organizations, what are you telling them to.

00:49:09.300 --> 00:49:18.180 Sharon Livermore: say my one tip is to have a policy, because the policy leads to say much more so i've created a policy in which is called sharon's policy.

00:49:18.540 --> 00:49:24.930 Sharon Livermore: It can be found on our cameo recruitment website and under the domestic abuse to have that we have.

00:49:25.290 --> 00:49:34.830 Sharon Livermore: And it's a policy that I created, along with the employees initiative on domestic peace, the GA alliance and HR dept who are an HR consultants across the UK.

00:49:35.280 --> 00:49:43.740 Sharon Livermore: And it has also been legally checked by a company called hogan lovells and their global so it's basically a template policy that businesses can take.

00:49:44.190 --> 00:49:52.320 Sharon Livermore: The legal jargon is on two pages, shall we say, which goes into your policy work but there's always a pages of guidance, Nice and in Nice guidance nights.

00:49:52.680 --> 00:49:59.520 Sharon Livermore: we're not saying you have to implement everything, but each business needs to look through and see what they can achieve and what they can do.

00:49:59.910 --> 00:50:10.410 Sharon Livermore: These things pepper businesses can do they don't cost money, so if the perpetrator is on someone's next as next of kin take them off that doesn't cost money.

00:50:11.040 --> 00:50:27.510 Sharon Livermore: If they've got a mobile phone free work and they've been harassed when they've left the perpetrator get them a new one, it might it costs minimal amounts of money, and I know in the yuba gravely to be fair, and there are companies that give and you leave for.

00:50:29.130 --> 00:50:40.830 Sharon Livermore: Page and you'll leave and when people need to get out of the situations now, not every business can do that, but can you offer flexibility can you give that person some flexibility to be able to get their life back on track.

00:50:41.160 --> 00:50:48.150 Sharon Livermore: And there's so many different things, but I do appreciate a small businesses are going to be able to see the same as a large business, for example.

00:50:48.600 --> 00:50:58.200 Pat Duckworth: yeah so it's what's appropriate for your business, I think, even just having some resources for whom somebody you know those signposts or.

00:50:59.040 --> 00:51:11.640 Pat Duckworth: A whole list of resources, where somebody can go, you know, even if it's like signposting them for Samaritans because you know they're feeling so low about what's happening to them.

00:51:12.360 --> 00:51:25.770 Pat Duckworth: yeah putting that on your website on your Intranet or having a handout that you can give to somebody or even having them like publicly available so that somebody can pick one up without having to talk to you.

00:51:26.400 --> 00:51:29.550 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely, I mean if you see in a lot of places they have them.

00:51:30.090 --> 00:51:37.140 Sharon Livermore: Inside toilets, for example on the back of the toilet all they have information for things like that so in the workplace, why can't we have by in the workplace.

00:51:37.500 --> 00:51:43.290 Sharon Livermore: And because you're right, not everybody wants to speak to them in the workplace, but maybe that's the only place, they can get access.

00:51:43.590 --> 00:51:53.370 Sharon Livermore: To the phone number that they need to call somebody, and so there was so many different things that can be done, but is that starting point, but it takes someone in the business to say.

00:51:53.640 --> 00:52:01.740 Sharon Livermore: We need to talk about this, what can we do, and it will not just save change lives, it will save lives to and specifically.

00:52:02.130 --> 00:52:11.040 Sharon Livermore: There is so many people, unfortunately, but impacted by it for out in some point in their life so most businesses will have somebody i'm sure that have been impacted by it.

00:52:11.430 --> 00:52:18.360 Pat Duckworth: yeah let's let's end on a bright note Sharon you're happy you're well you're in a healthy relationship.

00:52:19.740 --> 00:52:20.640 Sharon Livermore: Absolutely.

00:52:21.780 --> 00:52:27.960 Sharon Livermore: yeah, so I think that's the thing and it's not an easy subject to talk about and it can make people feel.

00:52:29.040 --> 00:52:35.760 Sharon Livermore: Quite upset time, so if anyone is listening to this, I mean you are feeling that way behind yourself and get yourself a cupcake.

00:52:37.560 --> 00:52:44.010 Sharon Livermore: And you know have it have a dream can just digest what you've listened to it might trigger some people, I totally understand that, but for me.

00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.140 Sharon Livermore: I have led to so it could be used to find me, but in the right way.

00:52:49.620 --> 00:53:00.780 Sharon Livermore: And I wouldn't have sell my business because I wouldn't have had that drive potentially to be able to I needed the platform to be able to do what I do and I have an amazing partner, I have.

00:53:01.350 --> 00:53:09.090 Sharon Livermore: A lovely family and lots of friends say my life is great it hasn't been easy i'm you know, there are times when I have a wobble every now and then.

00:53:09.510 --> 00:53:18.000 Sharon Livermore: But ultimately when I know i'm changing lives and saving lives, then i'm fortunate that I have a voice and and I will continue to use it all the time, but.

00:53:18.330 --> 00:53:30.150 Sharon Livermore: it's great to be able to speak to on shows like this and speech yourself, because it is that raising awareness, so it becomes more normal to speak about it and then that's when other people will hopefully open up a bit more as well.

00:53:31.020 --> 00:53:40.110 Pat Duckworth: And I you know if i'd met you before you went through this experience and meet you now what will be different health you change the crossover.

00:53:40.290 --> 00:53:46.710 Sharon Livermore: Okay, say i'm pretty much the same person, I think I become more confident in speaking because.

00:53:47.040 --> 00:53:55.320 Sharon Livermore: I know I have to do things like this to raise awareness, whereas before I was as much as i'm good speaking to people one to one I used to get a bit of.

00:53:55.650 --> 00:54:04.620 Sharon Livermore: Fear of speaking on to a larger audience, shall we say, and so that has been one of the biggest changes, but I think just my motivations now.

00:54:05.160 --> 00:54:19.860 Sharon Livermore: are very different for me and i've made it my mission to to raise awareness and my team helped me do it so i'm really fortunate to have a team that believed in what I do and to be able to to do what we do on a weekly basis, are we saying.

00:54:20.280 --> 00:54:33.150 Pat Duckworth: yeah fantastic Sharon, so, if you would like to pick up a copy of that policy, I will be posting it underneath the recording, but you can see more about Sharon at cameo that's K.

00:54:33.210 --> 00:54:34.110 Pat Duckworth: And yeah mommy.

00:54:34.740 --> 00:54:35.250 Sharon Livermore: was watching.

00:54:36.630 --> 00:54:52.200 Pat Duckworth: recruitment.com, and for that, and there is a button on it for domestic abuse, so thank you for everything you've shared it's so important, who knows, we may have saved or changed your life today, and you could do that in your business.

00:54:52.800 --> 00:55:06.600 Pat Duckworth: And I just want to say that admin a pause many women are going through different experiences in relationships, you might be in a long term relationship, you might be quite happily not in a relationship, you might be looking for a new relationship.

00:55:07.290 --> 00:55:18.930 Pat Duckworth: And it's about staying in that good place and not taking risks if you're going out to find a new partner that you keep yourself safe, while you're doing it.

00:55:19.290 --> 00:55:28.290 Pat Duckworth: That you know you set up that phone call to a friend who calls you after five minutes as and and you can pretend say oh i've just had the emergency call.

00:55:29.070 --> 00:55:43.410 Pat Duckworth: I need to leave or everything's going fine or it might be that you know if you're meeting somebody new you meet them in a communal space so you're not on your own and that you've made your own travel arrangements so that you're not.

00:55:43.890 --> 00:55:53.880 Pat Duckworth: Relying on them to give you a lift home it's about staying safe I right about that even you know in hot women call solutions i'm gonna move to one side hot women call solutions.

00:55:54.240 --> 00:56:04.110 Pat Duckworth: I write about relationships in there, because this can be a stage of life, where your relationships are changing and yeah you want to enjoy it and keep yourself safe.

00:56:04.620 --> 00:56:09.030 Pat Duckworth: So yes, that is my message for today, get your copy of hot women call solutions.

00:56:09.270 --> 00:56:25.260 Pat Duckworth: And it will tell you all about relationships we're coming towards the end of the show stay tuned to talk radio dot nyc because the next show is the Reverend Dr tlc talking about dismantle racism and it's part two of I to sing America.

00:56:25.650 --> 00:56:37.710 Pat Duckworth: And those are always really powerful conversations join me again next week, when we will be talking about nutrition if you've missed any of the earlier shows go back to talk radio dot nyc.

00:56:38.010 --> 00:56:46.170 Pat Duckworth: and have a look at the recordings we've talked about some great subjects and yeah excellent speakers in the past and coming up in the future.

00:56:46.500 --> 00:56:56.760 Pat Duckworth: Thank you to my producer today Emily Thank you again to my guest Sharon, thank you for this amazingly powerful conversation look forward to seeing everybody next week take care now.

download this episode of https://tabmaron.s3.amazonaws.com/talkinga/recordedshows/HWR/20210812-HWR-Challenging_the_Stigma_of_Domestic_Abuse.mp3

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