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Hot Women Rock

Thursday, July 22, 2021
22
Jul
Facebook Live Video from 2021/07/22 - The Silent Kettle

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/07/22 - The Silent Kettle

 

2021/07/22 - The Silent Kettle

[NEW EPISODE] The Silent Kettle

Stephanie McAuliffe had a successful 27 year career on Wall Street. And then she found herself working 12 hours a day and feeling like there was nowhere to turn for support. On top of that her marriage was falling apart. Then there were the challenges of perimenopause, the sleepless nights and the cups of coffee just to get going in the morning.

Many women at the height of their careers have similar experiences of trying to balance work and personal life and feeling like they have no outlet – like the silent kettle which is about to boil over.

Stephanie emboldens her clients to live life on their terms, teaching them how to take bold, decisive action and pioneer a pathway unique to them.


Tune in for this mature conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by Clicking Here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Pat begins the show talking about the latest news in the media on women’s health and menopause. One publication has a headline that stated a great remedy for women’s hot flashes was a serving of beer. The fermented beverage, non-alcoholic or alcoholic, benefits women suffering from menopause symptoms. Pat reads an article from Property Week which led her to mention how she worked for the male dominated publication for over thirty years. She talks about working with other women who were pressured to quit their careers due to lack of support and understanding from their employer. She mentioned how statistics show the cost of hiring and training new employees is just as much if the employer were to add ways to support their experienced female colleagues. Before the break, Pat and Her guest Stephanie advised women to speak and find doctors that are right for you. Pat adds that while women find themselves filled with emotion, to reach out to a therapist or someone to talk to and guide you through this time.

Segment 2

Segment 2

After the break, Pat formally introduces her guest Stephanie McAuliffe. After a 27 year career on Wall Street, Stephanie now guides women to walk in the legitimacy of who they are. Stephanie works with women who are in the prime of their lives and looking to share their wisdom in their own unique way. 

Stephanie tells us a little more about her working career. Starting out as a humble  programmer and working her way up to project and program management. Eventually getting to Co-managing a 85 million dollar 4 year program for an insurance company. Stephanie made a major change in her life moving toNew Jersey from Boston, Massachusetts pursuing a, soon to be failed, romantic relationship. This intense work schedule and career climbing often left her drained, pondering “what do I want to do next?”. This leads to a discussion around how society facilitates the male “mid-life crisis”, a frantic self-evaluation of one’s goals and desires, but doesn’t have a framework for women to experience and experiment with these same questions. Pat connects this lack of opportunity for women’s self evaluation to the horrors women have had to endure over time from lack of understanding of this period of women’s life. Stephanie explains that this episode got its name “The Silent Kettle” from the experience of building pressure and stress from a lack of proper handling of this transitional stage, eventually building up until a forceful release, much like steam escaping a kettle.


Segment 3

Stephanie talks about the challenges she was facing while also going through perimenopause. She found herself in an unhealthy life cycle. She believes that the internalized stress over the years led to her breast cancer. Stephanie talks about reevaluating her life and choosing what she wants. She got back in touch with nature and started doing things she loved like gardening. Stephanie also shares her experience working with a coach. Before the break, Stephanie talks more about her journey with breast cancer. She talks about the alternative treatments and finding boundaries with friends and family.

Segment 4

Coming back from the break, Pat and Stephanie share why it is important to make informed decisions based on the research and what you feel is right for you. Pat asks Stephanie what is one thing women can do to improve their lives? She answers, taking the time to evaluate what is important for yourself. She adds one of the most powerful free things is writing. She advises her clients to journal to get the negative energy out of your system. Before the end of the show, Stephanie mentions a boundaries worksheet that helps people connect with the core of who they are. It is a downloadable PDF file that is provided by Pat via email or found in a link under the recording.


Transcript

00:00:33.150 --> 00:00:41.070 Pat Duckworth: Welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause I do love my intro music it always makes it.

00:00:43.230 --> 00:00:50.610 Pat Duckworth: So good morning if you're in New York good afternoon if you're in the UK, good evening if you're in India.

00:00:50.940 --> 00:01:02.910 Pat Duckworth: and welcome to our very warm afternoon here in the UK and i'm not sure if it's a reflection of my top or whether I just do look hot anyway it's a hot women rock show so who cares.

00:01:03.540 --> 00:01:21.060 Pat Duckworth: We dare to talk about everything to do with menopause breaking to be around that subject and my guest this week is the lovely stephanie in the corner who's all the way from provo utah I had to look down i'm not good on my state so welcome stefanie.

00:01:21.990 --> 00:01:27.360 Stephanie McAuliffe: Good morning, good afternoon pat and it's a thrill to be here with you today.

00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:44.280 Pat Duckworth: So I won't give you a more formal introduction, but the first thing we do on the show is go and look at what's been in the media what's in the news about menopause this week and yeah i've got some interesting ones, this week so totally vegan boss.

00:01:45.360 --> 00:01:57.060 Pat Duckworth: have said plant based diet reduces menopausal symptoms by 84% says a new study to be honest, I pick this one up from totally vegan bus, but there were a lot of websites that were quoting it.

00:01:57.600 --> 00:02:03.360 Pat Duckworth: And the data comes from a study published by the North American medical society in the journal men oppose.

00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:18.900 Pat Duckworth: The trial, the women's study for the alleviation of fascinator symptoms so fast the motor symptoms of menopause normally means hot flashes night sweats, but of course that can lead to poor sleep and all the other things that go with it.

00:02:20.040 --> 00:02:31.710 Pat Duckworth: A plant based diet rich in soy has been found to reduce moderate to severe hot flashes in postmenopausal women by 84% I think a lot of women would be very happy with that.

00:02:32.190 --> 00:02:42.030 Pat Duckworth: Nearly 60% of women eating the soil rich vegan diet for the 12 week study period reported that their moderate to severe hot flushes completely disappeared.

00:02:42.570 --> 00:02:56.430 Pat Duckworth: Additionally, the diet was reported reduce total hot flushes, including the mild ones by 79% and moderate severe hot flushes from around five a day to less than one per day by 84%.

00:02:56.940 --> 00:03:09.870 Pat Duckworth: That is great news, they are part of that is because Sawyer contains fighter eastridge ins their plant estrogens and there are other things that contain plant estrogens as well.

00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:19.410 Pat Duckworth: Things like chickpeas and lentils and lean seeds, which I think I talked about last week flax seeds so.

00:03:19.770 --> 00:03:30.690 Pat Duckworth: There are other products plant based products that contain feisal eastridge ins but that's really good news The other thing was Sawyer is in didn't mention this in the report.

00:03:31.170 --> 00:03:43.080 Pat Duckworth: But eating fermented soybeans is better than eating i'm fermented so things like me so 10 page tougher all really good the fermented soy is especially good for you.

00:03:44.640 --> 00:03:58.020 Pat Duckworth: Now here is something a little more controversial in the food and drink department coming from the Daily Mail here in the UK from Dr Michael Mosley and for those of you in the US you've never heard of him, he does a lot of.

00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:14.490 Pat Duckworth: kind of he's just a series called one thing which is about changing one thing in your life to make a difference, based on a lot on exercise and diet, nutrition and the headline for this one was the latest remedy if you're hot flushes half a pint of beer.

00:04:16.290 --> 00:04:26.400 Pat Duckworth: Beer, this could be good news, one of the more surprising suggestions which comes with the backing of a clinical trial is that women struggling with menopause should consider drinking beer.

00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:35.910 Pat Duckworth: The thinking is that beer is a good source of i'm going to have struggle with this, I suppose, and so human will.

00:04:36.750 --> 00:04:52.050 Pat Duckworth: Not even a spell it a chemical produced by hops that has anti inflammatory properties, this is converted by the microbes in your gut into a very powerful fighter Eastern which we've just been talking about a plant based version of female hormone estrogen.

00:04:53.220 --> 00:05:08.130 Pat Duckworth: to test this researchers at Barcelona University in Spain enrolled 37 postmenopausal women in a study where they were randomly allocated to drinking half a pint of beer or a pint of non alcoholic beer a day.

00:05:09.180 --> 00:05:20.880 Pat Duckworth: As researchers reported in the journal nutrients at the end of six months, those who drank beer both alcoholic and non alcoholic experienced significant improvements in their menopause related symptoms.

00:05:21.150 --> 00:05:29.640 Pat Duckworth: So, if you like, a glass of beer, you now have a reason for drinking have to say, are I don't really like it it's just for health reasons.

00:05:31.230 --> 00:05:40.110 Pat Duckworth: Okay property week now I used to work in property, I was a chartered surveyors I worked in in property for 30 years.

00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:56.430 Pat Duckworth: It is a very male dominated industry, in fact, when I became a chartered surveyor the Institute only had 1% of Members will women and their aspiration was 3%.

00:05:57.300 --> 00:06:06.030 Pat Duckworth: They weren't aiming high there but anyway women in property recently held a webinar on menopause in the workplace is great news they're embracing it.

00:06:06.630 --> 00:06:13.770 Pat Duckworth: Too often, women have been so affected by the invisible symptoms of menopause they felt no other option than to leave their job.

00:06:14.220 --> 00:06:25.350 Pat Duckworth: And i've reported on here before nearly 25% of women consider leaving their job at menopause just because they can't talk about it they're not feeling supported they can't handle it.

00:06:25.980 --> 00:06:41.280 Pat Duckworth: This is hard enough for them, but it's an unsustainable situation for business losing highly skilled women is costly for any organization and fixing the issue should be positive, both its retention strategy and inclusion policy.

00:06:41.850 --> 00:06:54.540 Pat Duckworth: So there were some statistics that showed that to replace somebody an employee who's earning 25,000 pounds a year, which is about $30,000 so not a huge amount.

00:06:55.020 --> 00:07:09.630 Pat Duckworth: Costs 25,000 pounds, so, in other words, it costs as much to replace some days it would cost to pay them for a year, so if you've got somebody highly skilled who's been with your company have a mile that's a huge amount of cost to absorb.

00:07:10.770 --> 00:07:23.340 Pat Duckworth: So it says so, what to do, employees have to break the taboo change the language and train people to be aware need somebody to try pat duckworth.com go there, I can help you.

00:07:24.720 --> 00:07:43.380 Pat Duckworth: The some newspaper and for those of you, not in the UK, the sun newspaper is a populist newspaper, and I think the headline is going to tell you, everything you need to know long haul smaller penis early menopause and inability to cry That was the headline.

00:07:44.520 --> 00:07:55.710 Pat Duckworth: Research carried out by University College London found that long cove it can trigger more than 200 symptoms doctors have discovered this by questioning thousands of suffers.

00:07:56.100 --> 00:08:05.700 Pat Duckworth: The most common symptom was fatigue affecting almost every patient 98.3% but other issues that they identified included.

00:08:06.390 --> 00:08:15.570 Pat Duckworth: issues with menstrual periods abnormally heavy periods, it just as menstrual period issues so there's lots of things that could be postmenopausal bleeding.

00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:28.050 Pat Duckworth: and early menopause so worth keeping our eye on that, but what I also noticed was that some other symptoms included fatigue difficulty thinking heart palpitations.

00:08:28.410 --> 00:08:33.720 Pat Duckworth: memory sentence joint pain waking up several times during the night mood swings and migraines.

00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:41.640 Pat Duckworth: Which if you're going through menopause you might recognize as something that you're experiencing so interesting to watch that on.

00:08:42.450 --> 00:08:53.280 Pat Duckworth: My next item comes from a physical newspaper, so the rustling you're about to hear is a sound effect is actually a newspaper, so in this newspaper.

00:08:54.270 --> 00:09:07.710 Pat Duckworth: it's about the UK Olympic team, the women in the UK Olympic team saying the best time of the month saliva test a training by tracking athletes cycles.

00:09:09.150 --> 00:09:17.370 Pat Duckworth: who knew that our performance altered during menstrual periods, I think we all did but anyway, it says.

00:09:18.150 --> 00:09:34.710 Pat Duckworth: Some women also have symptoms related to menstrual cycles, such as low energy pain or bloating according to a recent study of female rugby players 93% reported cycle related symptoms and 67% thought this affecting their athletic performance.

00:09:36.210 --> 00:09:45.120 Pat Duckworth: Again, no surprises the menstrual cycle is among the least studied aspects of human biology, I think we will add men are supposed to.

00:09:46.110 --> 00:09:55.080 Pat Duckworth: The least studied aspects of human biology, but it's good to see that they're tracking the hormones and then deciding.

00:09:55.500 --> 00:10:05.700 Pat Duckworth: From that what would be good training to do at that time of the month because, depending on what your hormone levels are you will respond differently to different types of training.

00:10:06.060 --> 00:10:18.030 Pat Duckworth: And one of the first organizations to do this kind of tracking was the Chelsea women football team so good on them they're starting to look at it, and hopefully they'll get to minerals.

00:10:19.410 --> 00:10:42.030 Pat Duckworth: Now my last item again from the newspaper comes again from the guardian and it's the title is your left in pieces therapy can change lives, but what happens when it goes horribly wrong, and this is an item about a woman who went to therapy and had some problems with her therapist.

00:10:43.140 --> 00:10:56.370 Pat Duckworth: When she started self harming he asked to see her cuts and his reaction was shocking that's not so bad I seamless not what you want to hear from a therapist so.

00:10:57.090 --> 00:11:10.440 Pat Duckworth: What is the message of this well if something feels wrong in a therapy session go check it out, but I would say, before that, and I have this information on my website.

00:11:11.250 --> 00:11:22.140 Pat Duckworth: When you're looking to have a therapist do your checking first look to see what their qualifications are who they qualified with.

00:11:23.340 --> 00:11:32.610 Pat Duckworth: Whoever regulating body, so do they have any crests or badges on their website site that show who regulates them.

00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:43.590 Pat Duckworth: because that means that they're going to be insured they're going to be doing their continuing professional development, that there is a complaint procedure that you can go through.

00:11:44.460 --> 00:11:54.570 Pat Duckworth: And normally therapists will offer a 30 minute free get to know me sessions, so that the therapist can find out more about what you're experiencing.

00:11:54.960 --> 00:12:03.510 Pat Duckworth: And also, you can ask them, then all the questions you want to ask them, and you can look to see whether they've got recommendations on their website.

00:12:04.860 --> 00:12:09.990 Pat Duckworth: If they've got that 30 minute take it, there is no obligation and.

00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:18.450 Pat Duckworth: Often during those conversations I say to my clients what's really important is that you find the therapist that you feel comfortable with.

00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:25.530 Pat Duckworth: Somebody you can talk to who you feel comfortable being vulnerable with because that's what therapy is about.

00:12:26.250 --> 00:12:37.170 Pat Duckworth: If there are any warning signs during that conversation go find another therapist and sometimes if I know a specialist in the area of clients looking for.

00:12:37.470 --> 00:12:48.300 Pat Duckworth: I actually give them the contact details and say go speak to this person as well it's more important to me that you're comfortable with your therapist than that you come to me and you're not happy.

00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:56.220 Pat Duckworth: Not that I am going to do any other things, apparently, this therapist state but anyway, just a word of warning because often.

00:12:56.730 --> 00:13:10.410 Pat Duckworth: menopause or if you're feeling anxiety or low mood it's difficult to deal with that yourself and it's important to reach out for support finding the right support is really important.

00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:15.090 Pat Duckworth: your thoughts on that stephanie, what do you think about that.

00:13:15.660 --> 00:13:27.210 Stephanie McAuliffe: it's so important, because your intuition, is going to tell you whether or not this is the right person to work with yeah and it we are our own best advocate.

00:13:28.140 --> 00:13:39.330 Stephanie McAuliffe: And if we don't speak up for ourselves, no one will and we've been in you know this paradigm of we kind of hand, our problems over to a doctor and say, please take care of it.

00:13:40.020 --> 00:13:58.380 Stephanie McAuliffe: And a lot of doctors aren't really well versed in perimenopause or menopause, and so it can feel like a crapshoot, so this is where we get to put our antennas up and and really listen to the wisdom that we inherently have within ourselves.

00:13:59.190 --> 00:14:06.960 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely, so I will, if I say be introducing you more formally after the break, but when you made that huge.

00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:07.950 Pat Duckworth: change from.

00:14:08.580 --> 00:14:11.340 Pat Duckworth: Working in Wall Street to working.

00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:17.670 Pat Duckworth: and doing coaching what people you knew surprise that you'd made that change.

00:14:19.800 --> 00:14:39.000 Stephanie McAuliffe: Yes, because we step into a career and people think you know we're going to be on that path forever and all of this shakeup happened when I was in perimenopause and menopause and it was a beautiful way for me to be able to step into.

00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:50.430 Stephanie McAuliffe: Making some evaluations of what I really wanted to do going towards I think people didn't know what to do with me because initially I didn't know what to do with me.

00:14:50.520 --> 00:15:05.640 Pat Duckworth: yeah well we'll be talking more about that, after the break so join me after the break when stephanie will be telling us about how she moved from a 27 year career or more straight to becoming a coach and helping other women see after the break.

00:17:21.750 --> 00:17:29.280 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause with my guest stephanie mcauliffe.

00:17:29.880 --> 00:17:41.730 Pat Duckworth: So after 27 year career on Wall Street stephanie now guides women to walk in the legitimacy of who they are versus playing by the rules of a world that obliges them.

00:17:42.390 --> 00:17:50.580 Pat Duckworth: Yes, indeed emerging out from underneath the noise of the world there's a great power in in remembering and embodying our truths.

00:17:50.940 --> 00:18:10.650 Pat Duckworth: She deeply understands the impact of silence on the body mind and spirit and the importance to our vitality to powerfully speak the truth of who we are stephanie works with women in the prime of their life, who are here to share their wisdom in their own unique way welcome stephanie.

00:18:11.280 --> 00:18:15.630 Stephanie McAuliffe: Thank you, Pat, and I must say that you look beautiful in our glowing today.

00:18:17.190 --> 00:18:21.300 Pat Duckworth: I think glory is probably getting so warm i'll take it, I don't like.

00:18:21.750 --> 00:18:22.380 People.

00:18:23.910 --> 00:18:32.820 Pat Duckworth: So I asked you a question before the break about what other people thought about the switch because I spent over 30 years working in public service.

00:18:33.300 --> 00:18:46.200 Pat Duckworth: and working in a very technical job, and when I said what I was going to do that I was taking early retirement, retraining as a therapist and nlp practitioner, some people.

00:18:47.070 --> 00:18:59.460 Pat Duckworth: I didn't see that coming and others when I need to do something like that, in fact, one woman if she's listening diane you might even remember said to me, I thought you might go off and start an ashram or something which I.

00:19:00.150 --> 00:19:05.370 Pat Duckworth: never really considered, but some people see your truth don't lie.

00:19:06.390 --> 00:19:11.490 Stephanie McAuliffe: They do they absolutely do, and sometimes before we even see it in ourselves yeah.

00:19:12.780 --> 00:19:23.610 Pat Duckworth: yeah those people i'm not surprised when you make the move so stephanie tell us a bit then about your early working career, how you got into Wall Street and and what it was like.

00:19:24.780 --> 00:19:36.210 Stephanie McAuliffe: So I started out as a humble cobalt programmer and worked my way up into project and program management and I actually moved to New Jersey from Boston because I was in love.

00:19:38.070 --> 00:19:40.170 Stephanie McAuliffe: And that relationship didn't last.

00:19:41.730 --> 00:19:53.370 Stephanie McAuliffe: For many good reasons and I found myself going to work for Merrill Lynch in the late 80s actually right before black Friday, so it was i've seen the ups and downs of.

00:19:54.750 --> 00:20:10.170 Stephanie McAuliffe: Working in multiple firms on Wall Street and worked my way up to the point where I was managing a Co managing an $85 million dollar four year very large program for a large insurance company.

00:20:11.220 --> 00:20:11.880 Stephanie McAuliffe: and

00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:21.300 Stephanie McAuliffe: We completed it with probably six X benefits which was pretty amazing anytime you can just cover your costs it's a good thing.

00:20:22.050 --> 00:20:32.130 Stephanie McAuliffe: The stress, though, was pretty incredible and, at the end of the program the firm was also going through refs reduction in force.

00:20:32.820 --> 00:20:48.180 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I was one of those people as part of the first tranche, and it really brought me to a point of evaluating whatever I want to do when I grow up and for a while I didn't know and I sat in that space of.

00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:57.510 Stephanie McAuliffe: Let me just sit and ponder because my work days have been so intense that it took a little while to unwind from the intensity.

00:20:59.040 --> 00:21:10.740 Pat Duckworth: yeah I think that yeah that's a common experience of like the joy that you've been released from something and then now Oh, what do I really want to do next, and.

00:21:11.310 --> 00:21:15.360 Pat Duckworth: I yeah I love that question, what do I want to do when I grow up because.

00:21:15.660 --> 00:21:25.080 Pat Duckworth: I think when you're 1819 you sort of think that that you will suddenly get back inspiration and some people do let's face it, some people always pursue.

00:21:25.410 --> 00:21:38.430 Pat Duckworth: What they were meant to do for other people, it can take me so much later moment where you go or I kind of enjoyed doing that one I was doing it, but what do I want to do now, so what happened next.

00:21:39.420 --> 00:21:42.480 Stephanie McAuliffe: Well, the year before my 10 year marriage had ended.

00:21:43.260 --> 00:21:53.970 Stephanie McAuliffe: So, in the course of a year, my marriage ended, and that this career and I consulted for a few months, and then he said, but what do I want to do $100 million program was going to be the same thing.

00:21:54.810 --> 00:22:00.060 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I really sat in this space of this is a time for me to evaluate.

00:22:00.660 --> 00:22:14.940 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I like to think of you know, we look at men sometimes when we call it their midlife crisis where they go out and buy a new car or get a new girlfriend or it looks like they're throwing away their life they're going through their own evaluation.

00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:25.560 Stephanie McAuliffe: it's I think this is a time for we as women to really look at what's important, how do I want to live the rest of my life and what do I really want to.

00:22:26.100 --> 00:22:36.420 Stephanie McAuliffe: As I like to say swipe left and leave behind so that we're not carrying some of the old baggage that we did that got us to where we are and.

00:22:37.530 --> 00:22:39.510 Stephanie McAuliffe: doesn't need to be with us anymore.

00:22:40.110 --> 00:22:52.140 Pat Duckworth: You know i'm really grateful to my younger self rule, the work she did in those early years I mean I think she was amazing you know she made some great decisions of set me up for where I am now.

00:22:52.590 --> 00:22:59.730 Pat Duckworth: And I needed to move on from all of that, and you know I went to see a homeopath last year.

00:23:00.360 --> 00:23:14.910 Pat Duckworth: i've lost track of time we've locked down i've really lost track of time might have been the year before, and he said to me, do you still do at medical staff, and I said yeah I do, and he said Oh, I really envy women menopause it's a chance to reset.

00:23:16.110 --> 00:23:20.250 Pat Duckworth: And it is, as you say that whole midlife crisis thing I.

00:23:21.270 --> 00:23:40.650 Pat Duckworth: Do people still use that term I tell you, if i'm in a room and I asked what words, do you associate with mid life I know the answer will come back is crisis, rather than yay an opportunity to change, so we call this session, the silent kettle why the silent kettle.

00:23:42.630 --> 00:24:03.900 Stephanie McAuliffe: This goes back to the 1800s where menopause and our cycle was listed as a psychiatric illness, women have been put in mental hospitals, because of what's been going on in our wounds, I even remember when I was a kid.

00:24:06.510 --> 00:24:10.380 Stephanie McAuliffe: My mother's going through menopause and you could see the.

00:24:11.610 --> 00:24:14.070 Stephanie McAuliffe: And we've been taught.

00:24:17.280 --> 00:24:25.470 Stephanie McAuliffe: And because, at the point that we're in perimenopause or menopause we're at or reaching the height of our career.

00:24:25.950 --> 00:24:33.870 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so to talk about what's going on in our bodies, it can feel like we're automatically eliminating ourselves from the next big role.

00:24:34.650 --> 00:24:41.790 Stephanie McAuliffe: There such, at least in the environments on Wall Street that I was in such competition for those ever coveted senior roles.

00:24:42.210 --> 00:24:45.300 Stephanie McAuliffe: That you can't really even talk with your your female colleagues about it.

00:24:45.840 --> 00:24:52.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so it's like we have all this energy stuck in our throats and, if you think of a kettle you can think of the body of the kettle is our body.

00:24:53.580 --> 00:25:07.230 Stephanie McAuliffe: And the way we released the steam, and the energy is by speaking and giving a voice to what it is that we're experiencing and I tell the kettle blows there's all this energy within it, and that's us.

00:25:07.830 --> 00:25:15.300 Pat Duckworth: yeah absolutely and I was talking with some people in Reuters last week about this.

00:25:16.110 --> 00:25:30.300 Pat Duckworth: And you know the fact in the UK is that we have started to acknowledge much more menopause in the workplace, there are companies, putting policies in place, there are communication policies, there are reasonable adjustments going on.

00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:42.810 Pat Duckworth: And not yet, seeing as much in America, and I was asked why did, I think, that is, and I said because of the association with aging.

00:25:43.530 --> 00:26:04.740 Pat Duckworth: There is such negative association with aging that instead of it being about knowledge and wisdom and experience it's about being passed it being unable to do a job, where there is no evidence, in fact, you know, women who are supported at this stage of life.

00:26:05.970 --> 00:26:18.870 Pat Duckworth: can be your most loyal and productive employees, so there is just so much misunderstanding around this and that whole silent kettle it can be you out, women are.

00:26:19.320 --> 00:26:31.950 Pat Duckworth: Mixed metaphors you know they they take their ball home, you know they they were playing in the game, and then they weren't being looked after, and nobody wanted to know and they just tightlipped ball and i'm going on.

00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:34.020 Pat Duckworth: And there's an incredible I.

00:26:34.500 --> 00:26:45.540 Stephanie McAuliffe: i'm sorry there's there's an incredible amount of wisdom that's lost, and I have never heard really in the past menopause spoken about in any way.

00:26:46.230 --> 00:26:54.930 Stephanie McAuliffe: Positive because I think even the word chrome that is used in there's there's a negative connotation to that and I think it's time where we say.

00:26:55.260 --> 00:27:10.320 Stephanie McAuliffe: we're stepping into the really the prime of our life and bringing all this wisdom, we can share and it's finding communities where we can share it we're be listened to, and I think that's why a lot of women step out into entrepreneurship as well.

00:27:10.950 --> 00:27:13.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because corporations don't support them right.

00:27:14.370 --> 00:27:27.930 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely okay we're getting the juicy part of the conversation so join me after the break where stephanie will be talking more about finding what's important to you and understanding your family's see you again after the break.

00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:08.070 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at minneapolis and my guest today stephanie mcauliffe.

00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:23.760 Pat Duckworth: So stephanie you're you're going through this change in your career the breakdown of your marriage and you're going through perimenopause as well i'm going to say what what the challenges I think we can probably.

00:30:23.760 --> 00:30:24.240 guess.

00:30:26.250 --> 00:30:43.260 Stephanie McAuliffe: Well, and, and this is where there's been a lot of talk about work life balance, and there is no balance, something has to give and I was commuting into lower Manhattan working very long days commuting home going home to.

00:30:45.750 --> 00:30:52.440 Stephanie McAuliffe: Have a couple glasses of wine to unwind and then I wouldn't sleep and my biggest symptom was night sweats.

00:30:53.220 --> 00:31:05.310 Stephanie McAuliffe: So the covers were off covers mountain the covers were off covers wrong and I didn't sleep well and then I was drinking a lot of coffee to get myself going in the in the morning, and so I created this really unhealthy cycle.

00:31:07.050 --> 00:31:20.460 Stephanie McAuliffe: Where I was destroying my body physically in many ways, and then dealing with my now ex husband's alcoholism and focusing on him and focusing on my career.

00:31:21.030 --> 00:31:30.360 Stephanie McAuliffe: And because I wanted him to get better, and so what really suffered was me, you know if there's three things that we can focus on pick two because you can't have all three.

00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:45.420 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I have no doubt in my mind that all that internalized stress from back then, is an absolute cause and component of the breast cancer that I am dealing with now.

00:31:46.680 --> 00:31:55.620 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because what i've learned is that breast cancer takes between seven to 12 years to manifest into a lump that we can we can find and detect.

00:31:56.250 --> 00:32:06.810 Stephanie McAuliffe: And this is right about the right time and where there was all that stress and I did not take care of myself and I worked ungodly hours for what I like to say, an ungodly paycheck.

00:32:08.040 --> 00:32:10.680 Stephanie McAuliffe: And it was a crazy time.

00:32:12.090 --> 00:32:29.010 Pat Duckworth: So the the breast cancer is a more recent manifestation yes, how did you reevaluate your life at the time, how did you find what your values were in the middle of all of that going on.

00:32:30.330 --> 00:32:43.290 Stephanie McAuliffe: Well, it was one day I was riding home on the boat and I received just this message of I can't do this anymore, and that was more related to my marriage, I was doing more for him that he was for himself.

00:32:44.250 --> 00:33:00.240 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so once that stress was removed from my life and then from Wall Street, it was a choice, but not really a choice because I did receive a package from the company and was like Oh, and then it was.

00:33:01.260 --> 00:33:14.130 Stephanie McAuliffe: huh what do we really want to do swag garden a lot I connected back with myself I started working with a coach who helped me connect more with a lot of the feelings that I had shut off for many, many years.

00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:20.820 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so I find myself slowly taking steps back to myself.

00:33:22.650 --> 00:33:25.020 Pat Duckworth: And, have you help women to do that now.

00:33:26.490 --> 00:33:32.970 Stephanie McAuliffe: We look at where a lot of times what we think is in the way really isn't the problem.

00:33:34.110 --> 00:33:42.270 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so we have conversations and one of my gifts is i'm able to very quickly connect to the source of what's really going on.

00:33:43.350 --> 00:33:45.030 Stephanie McAuliffe: And then we clear that energy.

00:33:46.230 --> 00:33:48.480 Stephanie McAuliffe: Now granted if you and I were working together.

00:33:49.980 --> 00:34:00.750 Stephanie McAuliffe: What is like oh it's only really what you're willing to let go of, but a lot of times we don't realize the impact of what we've held inside this is where most of our disease comes from.

00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:10.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so really connecting with you know who am I underneath all of the layers what do I really want to do and it's also.

00:34:11.940 --> 00:34:31.590 Stephanie McAuliffe: clearing out the external noise, as you as you and I know we are bombarded thousands of times every single day with people in organizations and messages telling us what's wrong with us and what we need to do to fix ourselves there's nothing that we need to fix.

00:34:33.480 --> 00:34:40.200 Pat Duckworth: yeah and i've I have done some work with you and I know how quickly and incisively.

00:34:40.860 --> 00:34:57.150 Pat Duckworth: You pick up on one of the energies that needs to be shifted so yeah it's really important, and this change your focus, how are you helping women kind of to evaluate what is important once they've let go for isn't.

00:34:59.250 --> 00:35:09.750 Stephanie McAuliffe: It connecting them back with their joy, a lot of times we had this when we were very young and we forgotten we forgotten how to play we forgotten how to wonder.

00:35:10.230 --> 00:35:16.800 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because, all we lose a lot of that in the first time, usually were asked what do you want to be when you grow up is when you're three.

00:35:19.590 --> 00:35:23.910 Stephanie McAuliffe: How do I, you know it's it's the adults and trying to humorous.

00:35:25.020 --> 00:35:37.110 Stephanie McAuliffe: are really taking away the wonder that they've lost from us, and so it's tapping back into what could it be what I it's what I call living in the space of the open question.

00:35:38.430 --> 00:35:46.260 Stephanie McAuliffe: We as humans want to know immediately How are things going to turn out what's my answer, and when we're so focused on.

00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:47.880 Stephanie McAuliffe: How.

00:35:49.230 --> 00:36:04.200 Stephanie McAuliffe: We lose all of that that juiciness and that magic that alchemy of I could choose five different paths and they all meet be maybe perfect, so let me plan them it don't have to be single threaded.

00:36:05.520 --> 00:36:18.330 Pat Duckworth: yeah and I know that you enjoy spending time in nature, as I do, is that part of the work is getting getting women back in touch with the rhythms of nature.

00:36:19.110 --> 00:36:28.470 Stephanie McAuliffe: Absolutely and taking their younger selves on a picnic or a hike and what would she want to eat and where does she want to go and.

00:36:29.010 --> 00:36:36.240 Stephanie McAuliffe: In addition, you want to throw rocks into a lake or climb a tree and or just go for a walk and look at wild flowers.

00:36:36.660 --> 00:36:45.540 Stephanie McAuliffe: If we've we've so lost the connection to that and the other thing too is that when we're in nature it's been shown to raise our brain waves.

00:36:46.080 --> 00:37:04.290 Stephanie McAuliffe: So what are ready brings us into a heightened state where we can start to connect with some that joy and fun and play that we lose to the course of you know, getting to where we are and that's all been perfect and now it's time to let go and unwind.

00:37:05.550 --> 00:37:07.110 Stephanie McAuliffe: What I call the rules.

00:37:08.100 --> 00:37:16.590 Pat Duckworth: yeah I, I have a small pond in my garden, and there are it's a wildlife point we don't have fish in it and they're on knutson it.

00:37:16.950 --> 00:37:30.450 Pat Duckworth: I love venues I think it's like having a small Jurassic Park For those of you who don't know what new tease it looks a lot like a lizard but it's an amphibian it spends part of its time in the water park it's time on the land.

00:37:30.870 --> 00:37:34.170 Pat Duckworth: And I so excited that we can we've got baby new glitz.

00:37:35.130 --> 00:37:49.380 Pat Duckworth: I don't think that's their official name but I can't walk from my back door up to my office without going to visit the new clicks and just have a look at them because they're only about two centimeters long and I just like tiny, tiny dinosaurs to good.

00:37:49.440 --> 00:38:08.190 Stephanie McAuliffe: So much it's so much fun to see how nature expands and and sometimes it's just sitting on the grass and leaning up against a tree with your bare feet on the grass and listening to the birds it doesn't have to be a big gigantic thing for us to begin to connect back.

00:38:08.700 --> 00:38:11.670 Pat Duckworth: yeah yeah wonderful so.

00:38:12.720 --> 00:38:23.580 Pat Duckworth: You mentioned your breast cancer, I hope, it's okay just talk about it because I think this is such an important subject for women is one of women's biggest fears is getting breast cancer.

00:38:24.210 --> 00:38:31.410 Pat Duckworth: And you have really been exploring your way through it, do you have faith something about the journey that you're on with it.

00:38:32.430 --> 00:38:36.870 Stephanie McAuliffe: Absolutely i'm happy to so I was diagnosed earlier this year.

00:38:37.950 --> 00:38:45.270 Stephanie McAuliffe: And started down the traditional allopathic route of surgery, of which I had a lumpectomy and then.

00:38:46.860 --> 00:38:50.430 Stephanie McAuliffe: The prescribed was radiation chemo.

00:38:52.500 --> 00:38:53.280 Stephanie McAuliffe: hormones.

00:38:54.330 --> 00:39:00.990 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I was actually scheduled for a mastectomy because the margins are not clear from the original.

00:39:02.100 --> 00:39:06.990 Stephanie McAuliffe: tumor that was removed from me, which was near the size of a golf ball, it was not small.

00:39:08.340 --> 00:39:24.660 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I received this message of this isn't necessary, and so I started to explore actually canceled my surgery four days beforehand and I started going down the rabbit hole of alternative therapies and there are a lot of.

00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:35.700 Stephanie McAuliffe: different ways that we can treat the illness within us now i'm using a combination of natural and allopathic medicine and.

00:39:36.930 --> 00:39:41.550 Stephanie McAuliffe: I met with the first oncologist back in March and fired him.

00:39:42.750 --> 00:39:55.830 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because it goes back to what you were talking about in the beginning of the show let's have a conversation, and I want to make sure that you're going to be on my team not throw the plans that are already underway, out of the water, because you have your own agenda.

00:39:57.810 --> 00:40:05.130 Stephanie McAuliffe: So I am i'm in week two of treatments, I have a laundry list of.

00:40:07.530 --> 00:40:22.260 Stephanie McAuliffe: supplements and vitamins that i'm taking them doing high dose vitamin C one of the things that have been has been most important in this is finding whole new levels of my voice i've been writing about it and boundaries with friends and family.

00:40:24.300 --> 00:40:26.040 Pat Duckworth: By a bit more about the boundaries.

00:40:28.410 --> 00:40:41.340 Stephanie McAuliffe: You know we're all in these journeys together and a lot of times when someone beat yourself or someone close to you goes into what we're going to call a health crisis.

00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:45.060 Stephanie McAuliffe: It brings up all of our own fears.

00:40:46.260 --> 00:40:53.760 Stephanie McAuliffe: And I have had to be very clear with people who I love, who I know have only my best interest in heart at heart.

00:40:54.510 --> 00:41:02.640 Stephanie McAuliffe: To say, please don't share the story of your friend who is living, the last of her good days, because she did something or.

00:41:03.270 --> 00:41:14.670 Stephanie McAuliffe: don't start screaming how you would never have a mastectomy because you saw how a neighbor 50 years ago came out from her surgery i've actually.

00:41:15.660 --> 00:41:31.470 Stephanie McAuliffe: Just semi lovingly yelled at a family member yesterday, who doesn't realize the amount of research that i've done to make the decisions that i've made and i'm i've gone into this eyes wide open.

00:41:32.970 --> 00:41:37.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: I thought there were past that we're going to work they didn't but it opened up doors to other things.

00:41:38.280 --> 00:41:52.050 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so, this is where we go back to, we need to be our own best advocate if something doesn't feel right trust your instincts and go find another health care practitioner, no matter what kind of health care.

00:41:53.220 --> 00:41:53.940 Stephanie McAuliffe: you're looking for.

00:41:54.120 --> 00:42:13.410 Pat Duckworth: yeah I mean it's all that that about the research and what feels right for you, I have three friends in the past three years, who have all gone down a mixture of medical allopathic and alternative complementary roots.

00:42:14.430 --> 00:42:22.170 Pat Duckworth: Because of health, they felt they should be treating their bodies and what was important to them and.

00:42:22.860 --> 00:42:31.860 Pat Duckworth: It is a difficult path if that's what you decide to do because of other people's stuff not because of your stuff because you're doing the research and you're taking action.

00:42:32.340 --> 00:42:47.310 Pat Duckworth: and deciding what to do the people around you are kind of all, I you know I don't want to lose you and you know they're worried, for you and they're worried that somebody might take your money and not do and it's their stuff it fails.

00:42:47.400 --> 00:43:00.000 Stephanie McAuliffe: worry, I wrote a big piece on this, and so i'm taking all of my blog posts and i'm creating an e book that will be published in the next few months, but it really is it's, we are not responsible for someone else's fear.

00:43:01.500 --> 00:43:03.900 Stephanie McAuliffe: When we're dealing with our own health issue.

00:43:05.370 --> 00:43:13.920 Stephanie McAuliffe: That are we are the single focus it's, just like in an airplane put your own oxygen mask on first yeah yeah and.

00:43:15.390 --> 00:43:16.860 Stephanie McAuliffe: Something else I was going to say in.

00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:19.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: Part of the brain.

00:43:20.820 --> 00:43:32.010 Pat Duckworth: I remember going to see a doctor when I had a stomach problem, and I was my son was only two years old, and especially said Oh well.

00:43:32.700 --> 00:43:50.850 Pat Duckworth: He sent his assistant in you know and his assistant said or what he's looked at your scans and you appear to have gallstones and he wants to put you on his list, and they were typical stem cell I said, could you just hold on a moment does he do keyhole surgery, and he said no.

00:43:51.870 --> 00:43:57.210 Pat Duckworth: I said I really want this done by keyhole otherwise I don't want to have it down and he went oh.

00:43:58.440 --> 00:44:06.480 Pat Duckworth: Because he knew he's got to go back and give this message and he went back to the consultant of five minutes, like the nurse was in the corner of the room and she was laughing okay.

00:44:06.840 --> 00:44:14.880 Pat Duckworth: consultant comes in, in his shop suit with all his followers and says what's this about you not having the operation, I said well you know.

00:44:15.360 --> 00:44:28.710 Pat Duckworth: i've got two year old child I haven't got any support in this area, I don't want to have this done this way at the moment and I understand keyhole is very effective, he said, well you're not suitable for it, I said how am I not suitable.

00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:32.970 Pat Duckworth: An event you're just not which point you know.

00:44:33.840 --> 00:44:34.470 Stephanie McAuliffe: It doesn't.

00:44:34.620 --> 00:44:44.340 Pat Duckworth: it's good idea and he said, well, I think you're very silly woman, which is what male doctor feta women he stormed out and the nurse said, good for you.

00:44:45.900 --> 00:44:55.560 Pat Duckworth: The upshot was that I came back two years later we're living back near where we do now, I went to the doctors, which the consultant, who said you're absolutely ideal for keyhole.

00:44:55.860 --> 00:45:14.610 Pat Duckworth: i'll put you on my list and we'll do it as soon as we can, I said excellent so sometimes we have to hold out for what we want, so join us after the break when stephanie will give us her top tip for reevaluating your life and finding what's best for you okay see you after the break.

00:47:46.470 --> 00:48:00.180 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the last quarter of the hot women mock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause where does the time go when we're having fun talking to people stephanie did you remember what it was you're going to say to us.

00:48:00.810 --> 00:48:11.220 Stephanie McAuliffe: I did so, confirmed by my breast surgeon, had I taken hormone replacement back when I was experiencing my perimenopause symptoms.

00:48:11.730 --> 00:48:22.740 Stephanie McAuliffe: It would have been like putting fuel on the fire of my breast cancer, and so this is where we need to make very informed decisions about is it worth the risk.

00:48:23.490 --> 00:48:34.320 Stephanie McAuliffe: Just like now they want to prescribe tamoxifen which can block the hormones, the estrogen from my breast but it's also a known carcinogen carcinogen for ovarian cancer.

00:48:35.220 --> 00:48:42.930 Stephanie McAuliffe: And so it's very important that we make informed decisions based on our own research and what we feel is right for us.

00:48:43.530 --> 00:48:51.930 Pat Duckworth: yeah you know I can it's tough when you're having symptoms you're feeling tired you just want somebody to help you.

00:48:52.590 --> 00:49:10.800 Pat Duckworth: And we still have to do our own research so that we know the risks, the benefits and can make an informed decision it's just so important and find the person that you can talk to about it who's not gonna bother new down with all this stuff.

00:49:12.300 --> 00:49:19.530 Pat Duckworth: take a deep breath so stephanie what's your one thing that women can do to improve their lives.

00:49:20.670 --> 00:49:32.940 Stephanie McAuliffe: This is your time to really evaluate what's important one of the most powerful free things that I have done, and that I have my clients do is to pick up a germ.

00:49:35.160 --> 00:49:39.570 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because we can either sit with the muck in our minds.

00:49:40.740 --> 00:49:57.990 Stephanie McAuliffe: Of all the thoughts that are racing through us, or we can put them down on paper and get them out of our body, because with those thoughts of I feel crappy I don't know what to do, I don't feel supported I can't talk to anyone, we can begin by talking with ourselves.

00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:01.230 Stephanie McAuliffe: And there is.

00:50:02.730 --> 00:50:10.800 Stephanie McAuliffe: Evidence behind when you when you wake up, even if it's 10 minutes a couple of days a week stream of consciousness writing.

00:50:11.340 --> 00:50:28.050 Stephanie McAuliffe: gets it energy out of your body and out onto the paper and I journal nearly every single day now it's it's free other than the cost of the notebooks and it's time but I found that when I sit in worry about something.

00:50:29.370 --> 00:50:40.980 Stephanie McAuliffe: I could be using that same time to write about it, and then it seems like when I write about it, the answers magically appear because i'm not focused on the fear of the worry anymore.

00:50:42.450 --> 00:50:48.810 Pat Duckworth: Good tip I sometimes get my clients to do 10 minutes of writing where they don't take a pen off the paper.

00:50:49.380 --> 00:50:59.220 Pat Duckworth: And I just say I think i'm not sure I can write that long so just do it just do it, and when you get the bottom of a piece of paper turning around the other way right there.

00:50:59.700 --> 00:51:08.760 Pat Duckworth: turn it sideways just keep writing until I tell you the 10 minutes about and it's just like you know that silent capital can let some of it steam go.

00:51:09.300 --> 00:51:10.590 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely pulled.

00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:12.690 Stephanie McAuliffe: In this too is where.

00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:19.020 Stephanie McAuliffe: You know, we can write letters to our younger selves I want to 30 page letter to my ex husband.

00:51:20.370 --> 00:51:33.540 Stephanie McAuliffe: Because we weren't able to have those conversations, and so it does just doesn't have to be about today, and now it can be if something is churning it's ready to be released.

00:51:34.260 --> 00:51:39.840 Pat Duckworth: Absolutely, so I haven't got a giveaway for our for our listeners today.

00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:48.930 Stephanie McAuliffe: I do so, I have a boundaries worksheet and it's the first of three steps and it helps the people connect with the core of who they are.

00:51:50.340 --> 00:51:56.310 Stephanie McAuliffe: So it is a PDF that's downloadable and the beautiful thing is.

00:51:57.450 --> 00:52:09.330 Stephanie McAuliffe: Once we start these exercises and this process things then start to evolve and other ideas come up and we start to remember who who am I, and an evil those layers.

00:52:11.160 --> 00:52:19.410 Pat Duckworth: i'm testing so we'll put the link under the recording it's that stephanie mcauliffe.com forward slash boundary.

00:52:19.440 --> 00:52:21.960 Stephanie McAuliffe: boundary stephanie be mcauliffe console which.

00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:22.860 Pat Duckworth: Is.

00:52:22.950 --> 00:52:28.440 Stephanie McAuliffe: cool yes okay I use my middle initial there's a lawyer out in California, who has the same name so.

00:52:29.970 --> 00:52:41.460 Pat Duckworth: You know my husband is Alex start with, and my son is Alex webb and there was a snowboarder woman in Canada called Alex start with and Google has pitches is about.

00:52:42.540 --> 00:52:43.110 Pat Duckworth: invoice.

00:52:44.640 --> 00:52:57.840 Pat Duckworth: Anyway, there are many paths backwards, I pleased to say so yeah I will put that link underneath the recording if you haven't if you can't find it comes me pat at pat up with.com.

00:52:58.230 --> 00:53:20.790 Pat Duckworth: And I will send you that link now stephanie you and I both know that at this stage of LIFE it's also about learning to receive as well as to give so many women in the first 4050 years of their lives or give give give to their family to their partners to their jobs to their parents.

00:53:22.050 --> 00:53:42.600 Pat Duckworth: And as you say, then there's nothing left to give to yourself so sometimes you'd have to stop and receive receive love receive care receive support and stephanie I want to support you on your cancer healing journey and just tell us what you're doing at the moment.

00:53:43.740 --> 00:53:46.890 Stephanie McAuliffe: So I have created a gofundme.

00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:52.380 Stephanie McAuliffe: That is an invitation for people who would like to support.

00:53:53.670 --> 00:53:54.540 Stephanie McAuliffe: This journey.

00:53:55.710 --> 00:54:05.460 Stephanie McAuliffe: To help me out because much of what i'm doing is not covered by insurance and yet I have no doubt in my mind that this is the right path for me.

00:54:06.090 --> 00:54:16.350 Stephanie McAuliffe: And i'm sharing what i'm doing along the way, and so there are updates and there's a lot of knowledge that isn't widely known and i'm giving it a voice.

00:54:18.210 --> 00:54:19.710 Pat Duckworth: That Kelly steaming.

00:54:20.010 --> 00:54:20.700 Stephanie McAuliffe: It is.

00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:28.440 Pat Duckworth: And I know that you've got on your Facebook page you post your blogs up there.

00:54:29.460 --> 00:54:36.720 Pat Duckworth: And and videos and all sorts of information and we both have a lovely friend in the ABC.

00:54:37.380 --> 00:54:45.870 Pat Duckworth: evolutionary business Council gene K, who has been on a cancer healing journey and she writes a poem every day and.

00:54:46.560 --> 00:55:02.730 Pat Duckworth: You know the support and love that she received she talks about receiving it, you know because she's done a lot of giving in her life and then for part of the healing is in the receiving so again, I will post up your gofundme links definitely.

00:55:03.120 --> 00:55:26.340 Stephanie McAuliffe: Thank you and and thank you and we never know when our words are going to help somebody else, so this is if we think of ourselves on a path there's all always people ahead of us and there's always people behind us and I love the quote of we're all walking each other home.

00:55:26.970 --> 00:55:37.050 Stephanie McAuliffe: And we are and so it's not about comparison it's really about how can we share what it is that we're doing because I love that gene writes a poem every single day.

00:55:37.710 --> 00:55:52.890 Stephanie McAuliffe: Written from a place of love and this is how she gives and receives as well, so we really never know, and so this is where we can share with that expectation, because we know we usually receive tenfold.

00:55:54.270 --> 00:56:06.390 Pat Duckworth: Thank you, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your story i'm sure everybody has taken something from it, this need not to keep pushing things down to actually.

00:56:06.810 --> 00:56:18.420 Pat Duckworth: give voice to what we're experiencing to find the support that we need and yeah just in helping and supporting each other on that road Thank you so much, definitely.

00:56:18.930 --> 00:56:33.540 Pat Duckworth: Stay tuned to talk radio dot nyc for dismantle racism, with the Reverend Dr T llc today she's talking about soul healing how to heal the trauma of racism from the inside out.

00:56:33.870 --> 00:56:46.920 Pat Duckworth: With business coach B baylor so that will be brilliant and if you've missed any of these previous recordings do go to the top radio dot nyc and look up the show and see some of the other recordings.

00:56:47.340 --> 00:56:57.060 Pat Duckworth: Thank you again stephanie enjoy the rest of your day and i'll be seeing you all next week for another edition of top of know of what went wrong.

00:56:58.530 --> 00:57:04.140 Pat Duckworth: empowering women leaders and thank you to my producer today Sam who's done a brilliant job, thank you.

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