Lesley Fettes had an unpleasant surprise on her 36th birthday. She had taken a day off work and booked a table for lunch with her husband at her favorite restaurant. But first she had an appointment with her doctor to review her blood tests. That’s when she found out that she was having an early menopause.
Lesley had some important decisions to make about her current and future health. Would she take HRT or not? How about changes to her lifestyle, diet and exercise? What would be the impact on her relationship and her career?
Pat starts the show with news on menopause in the media. She says University of Arizona Health Sciences reports researchers have taken steps to improve hormone therapies to help women reduce their risk with Alzheimer’s. Pat talks about the recurring symptoms of brain fog women get during menopause. She expresses how scary it can be to forget your child’s birthday or why you came into a room. It’s possible these symptoms occur when the female body starts to produce lower levels of estrogen, which could be affecting some of the structure in the brain. Pat shares that is why it’s good to see medical research focusing on the female brain. Pat touches on a Daily Express article, which reports the five supplements that can help with menopause symptoms.
After the break, Pat introduces her guest, Lesley Fettes, in more detail. Pat and Lesley met at a networking event in early 2020. Lesley is a director for Network Design, a full service creative marketing agency, based in Cambridge, UK. Lesley suffered an early menopause at the age of thirty-six. Lesley talks in-depth about her background and story. She met her husband at twenty-one. They didn’t get married until she was twenty-seven. After a few years, Lesley was pregnant with her son at thirty-four. She described giving birth as a traumatic experience. She gave birth to a 9lb baby that never slept. She was constantly sick and had shingles before she went back to work. Lesley thought most of her health problems were due to lack of sleep. Symptoms of brain fog and night sweats are what made Lesley seek medical attention. When Lesley shared her symptoms with her doctor, she joked about the possibility of early menopause. Little did she know she would suffer from the condition at thirty-six years of age.
After the break, Lesley talks about how her experience with early menopause affected her career. She recalls an embarrassing time giving a presentation in front of her male colleagues and then experiencing hot flashes and trouble remembering her powerpoint. From then on she knew she had to make a change. After multiple doctor visits and blood tests, Lesley found the best treatment for her body was HRT. She also mentioned that losing weight and getting fit helped clear her mind and release the brain fog.
After the break, Pat starts off the segment with tips for women that are looking to improve their lives. Lesley suggests women should stand up for what they think is right for them. In other words, be your own advocate. She talks about knowing women who have gone to their doctors; been open about their symptoms, and still dismissed because their physicians weren’t informed. Lesley says you have to be able to speak up and understand what is going on with your body. Pat shares another tip, if you are going to the doctor, write down your symptoms and treatments. Towards the end of the segment Lesley talks about the Facebook group Healthy and Happy Hormones, a page designed for women to share their experiences and have a place for support and guidance, as being a valuable resource of information for those uninformed about menopause.
00:00:31.680 --> 00:00:43.320 Pat Duckworth: Good morning New York good afternoon UK good evening if you're in India and welcome to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause.
00:00:43.590 --> 00:00:51.900 Pat Duckworth: Yes, we dare to talk about medicals breaking the taboo around the subject and talking widely about how this affects women.
00:00:52.530 --> 00:00:59.370 Pat Duckworth: And my guest in the virtual studio today and who i'll be introducing to you a bit later is Leslie effective.
00:00:59.760 --> 00:01:14.970 Pat Duckworth: But for now we're going to go to the media and see what's being talked about this week all about menopause So my first piece of news this week comes from the University of Arizona health services sciences.
00:01:15.990 --> 00:01:36.720 Pat Duckworth: Researchers take a step towards advancing precision hormone therapy is to reduce outsiders risk now a lot of us women who have been through multiples or are in that stage before menopause in perimenopause know about the brain fog and I think Leslie has some stories to share.
00:01:38.010 --> 00:01:49.740 Pat Duckworth: However, and you can think that you are going into dementia, because you can't remember things, and you know it's not just getting to the top of the stairs and wondering why you went up there.
00:01:50.760 --> 00:02:01.230 Pat Duckworth: You know you forget your children's names and birthdays and where you're supposed to be so it can be really scary and there are changes to the brain going on at menopause.
00:02:01.980 --> 00:02:11.760 Pat Duckworth: More recently there's been research into what's happening in the female brain because of the changes that occur because of the lower levels of estrogen.
00:02:12.060 --> 00:02:18.840 Pat Duckworth: which affect some of the structure in the brain so it's really good senior search going on, so this article says.
00:02:19.170 --> 00:02:33.150 Pat Duckworth: Researchers found that using natural steroids St dial, which is a form of eastern Germany it's more than one for of estrogen or progesterone resulted in greater risk reduction than the use of synthetic hormones.
00:02:33.630 --> 00:02:46.170 Pat Duckworth: or or hormone therapy is resulted in a reduced risk for combined neuro degenerative diseases, while hormone therapy is administered through the skin, reduce the risk of developing dementia.
00:02:46.710 --> 00:02:59.070 Pat Duckworth: Overall risk was reduced the most impatience 65 years and older so it's really good that this research is going on, so I know it's something that worries women.
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:13.530 Pat Duckworth: And there are more cases of dementia among women than there are among men and it's, not just because we live longer, so this is important research because hormone replacement therapy currently isn't licensed.
00:03:13.920 --> 00:03:23.730 Pat Duckworth: for helping with symptoms of dementia so really important news moving to the other side of the world over in Australia.
00:03:24.540 --> 00:03:33.420 Pat Duckworth: This comes from ABC Australia tasmanian businesses urge to introduce menstrual menopause leave to help remove the stigma.
00:03:33.900 --> 00:03:41.520 Pat Duckworth: Now this is something that i've seen more in the news here in the UK as well that various organizations are starting to grow on.
00:03:42.090 --> 00:03:47.580 Pat Duckworth: menopause leave and menstrual period leave as well, and you might think.
00:03:48.510 --> 00:03:56.070 Pat Duckworth: That taking it too far know for some women, this is a major thing, and it can be a huge benefit to know you can take some leave.
00:03:56.520 --> 00:04:02.520 Pat Duckworth: So this article says more and more Australian businesses are introducing menstrual a menopause leave.
00:04:02.880 --> 00:04:15.900 Pat Duckworth: which gives employees additional days of paid personal leave each year businesses on the mainland that have introduced a menstrual menopause leave policy are already seeing a positive change in the workplace.
00:04:16.410 --> 00:04:34.560 Pat Duckworth: So this benefits businesses, this is an all one way, because if you've got women who feel more comfortable they can be more productive in the time that they're there and they're not worrying about their health and not taking sickness absence so really important.
00:04:35.640 --> 00:04:42.180 Pat Duckworth: I love this this is from miraj news in America new evidence of menopause in killer whales.
00:04:43.500 --> 00:04:51.780 Pat Duckworth: A group of pigs so it's not just big killer whales it's actually a name big killer whales near the coast of Washington state USA.
00:04:53.400 --> 00:04:57.540 Pat Duckworth: So the researchers have been watching them and they said most animal breeds.
00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:06.510 Pat Duckworth: Most animals breed throughout their lives yeah most mammals keep on breeding until they're ready to drop.
00:05:06.960 --> 00:05:15.630 Pat Duckworth: Only humans have for wild species are known to experience menopause and scientists have long been puzzled about why this occurs.
00:05:16.290 --> 00:05:25.410 Pat Duckworth: Previous studies have found metaphors in a type called resident killer whales who social structures appear to favor grand mothering.
00:05:25.890 --> 00:05:36.870 Pat Duckworth: And what that means is that the females of that group, you said, energy and knowledge to help their offspring and grand offspring, rather than competing to breed themselves.
00:05:37.230 --> 00:05:55.080 Pat Duckworth: This is known as the grandmother theory of menopause that there is such a benefit of having women in the tribe who aren't reproductive because they can help to support the younger breeding women of the tribe so yeah awesome killer whales.
00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:57.720 Pat Duckworth: something to learn there.
00:05:59.760 --> 00:06:08.760 Pat Duckworth: An article from the daily express here in the UK called menopause help the five best supplements help with menopausal symptoms and they've listed.
00:06:09.120 --> 00:06:21.840 Pat Duckworth: Black cohosh evening primrose oil St john's wat flaxseed or linseed and red clover now, I would say if you're going to pick one of those.
00:06:22.350 --> 00:06:31.170 Pat Duckworth: Putting some lind seeds on your breakfast cereal in the morning is probably the one that I would recommend because you're getting the whole seed it's not processed.
00:06:31.800 --> 00:06:40.200 Pat Duckworth: And you can just scatter it on to your breakfast cereal, you can put it in your baking you can put it on your salad or on your stir FRY.
00:06:40.680 --> 00:06:50.820 Pat Duckworth: And there are so many benefits to Lynn seeds it's there a fighter East region, which means there are plant estrogen so supplementing your own levels of estrogen.
00:06:51.240 --> 00:07:09.360 Pat Duckworth: there's lots of fiber in them if you need it for your gut health there's lots of magnesium in it so it's the tiny little things and they've been packing a Punch so if you're going to choose one of those pick the seeds by a good quality linseed and put it on your breakfast cereal.
00:07:10.950 --> 00:07:19.380 Pat Duckworth: So my last article comes from Yahoo life by kaitlyn mightly and she talks about the best menopause Apps to download.
00:07:19.740 --> 00:07:28.050 Pat Duckworth: So there's been a lot of press coverage of what's called fin tech, in other words technology that supports women's health.
00:07:28.500 --> 00:07:40.140 Pat Duckworth: And if I was approached last year by company that we're thinking of developing a minute paul's APP and had a bit of a chat with them, I don't know how far they've got with it, but they've listed a few here.
00:07:40.650 --> 00:07:53.040 Pat Duckworth: Health and her monopoles tracks symptoms i've identified triggers and provide expert exercises to alleviate symptoms so some of those exercises are cognitive behavioral therapy.
00:07:53.310 --> 00:08:01.080 Pat Duckworth: In other words, what's going on in your mind because what's going on in your mind what you're thinking has a real influence on what you're experiencing.
00:08:01.500 --> 00:08:13.380 Pat Duckworth: pelvic floor exercises if you haven't been doing those where have you been going to do yukiko exercises and meditation is for sleep, because a lot of women experienced sleep problems that multiples.
00:08:14.220 --> 00:08:25.230 Pat Duckworth: The second APP is called luminosity and it helps with brain fog and memory loss yet we've just been talking about that, and it has brain training games on it.
00:08:25.710 --> 00:08:35.460 Pat Duckworth: And the third one her spirit helps to deal with fatigue mood issues and weight gain and that's actually workout classes on an APP.
00:08:36.930 --> 00:08:49.320 Pat Duckworth: A sauna rebel is to help with joint aches low energy and insomnia, and that gives you yoga exercises free weight exercises and parties.
00:08:50.370 --> 00:09:00.570 Pat Duckworth: And intimately us is for low libido mood issues and intimacy problems and seeks to build back the bridge between you and your partner.
00:09:01.320 --> 00:09:12.630 Pat Duckworth: Women can have a problem with what is commonly called intimate relationships at men nepal's partly over there's a whole bunch of reasons we'll go into that about the time.
00:09:13.230 --> 00:09:28.710 Pat Duckworth: And so it has surveys to help you figure out each other sexually interests communication starters, designed to create more warmth and understanding between couples and games decide designed to bring back joy in your bedroom.
00:09:29.760 --> 00:09:35.970 Pat Duckworth: hi i'm thinking that's not monopoly but anyway, that is so Leslie.
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:42.750 Pat Duckworth: I have you used or have you got any Apps or do you think you would find it interesting to you soon.
00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:54.000 Lesley Fettes: i'm really interested in the whole APP based technology, and I wish that I might even as yet event one because i'm not sure everything ticks the boxes, yet, but am.
00:09:54.270 --> 00:10:00.570 Lesley Fettes: I have downloaded a couple and just to see what they're all about, and the one i'm quite impressed by his balance.
00:10:00.900 --> 00:10:08.850 Lesley Fettes: And because that seems to have quite a lot of information on there, and you can log your symptoms, so it prompts you every day to kind of, say, how are you feeling.
00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:16.080 Lesley Fettes: You know what's going on that's quite Nice and then quite a lot of information, you can just kind of peru's in read at your own leisure, which is quite interesting.
00:10:17.310 --> 00:10:18.660 Lesley Fettes: Medical focused, I think.
00:10:20.970 --> 00:10:26.370 Pat Duckworth: I suppose I think that just needs to be an applet gives basic information about what's going on, because.
00:10:26.670 --> 00:10:27.900 Pat Duckworth: We have.
00:10:28.110 --> 00:10:35.070 Pat Duckworth: have so little idea about what's going on in their bodies and I so you're a lot younger than I am.
00:10:36.810 --> 00:10:43.860 Pat Duckworth: And you've grown up with Apps a lot more firm I have so do you think this is going to be a growing field for women.
00:10:44.310 --> 00:10:52.320 Lesley Fettes: Absolutely, I really think, so I think it could be a really useful tool for women, and it just needs to be developed in the right way and.
00:10:52.650 --> 00:11:01.770 Lesley Fettes: You know you really need to understand who you're marketing that APP to and what their needs are, and I think it is it's having a form of support.
00:11:02.070 --> 00:11:06.510 Lesley Fettes: A form of acknowledgement of what you're going through and and kind of you know.
00:11:06.960 --> 00:11:15.300 Lesley Fettes: Almost don't worry about it, this is perfectly normal you know if you're experiencing this try this and pointing people in the right direction.
00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:26.220 Lesley Fettes: And and giving them ways to alleviate symptoms and and help them, whether that's medical whether it's fitness whether it's nutrition, you know there's so much that is that comes under.
00:11:26.850 --> 00:11:43.830 Lesley Fettes: You know, ways of helping women with medicals it isn't necessarily only medical isn't necessarily only exercise and, I think, to try and cover all three of those elements is a big task isn't it because they're like us, and can can kind of compete against each other as well, can I say.
00:11:44.430 --> 00:11:56.550 Pat Duckworth: yeah and I think you know for some women i've trained, a lot of groups of women and individual women and one of the things they need is that reassurance that what they're experiencing is normal.
00:11:56.970 --> 00:12:08.100 Pat Duckworth: yeah because they've got no idea, and you know i've had women come into groups and i've gone through a list of 25 potential symptoms i've done yet yet got got fat.
00:12:08.760 --> 00:12:19.710 Pat Duckworth: yeah then they felt Okay, because I realized it wasn't peculiar to ban and they felt better about it, and the other thing is, I think you know we've got an age group of women.
00:12:20.250 --> 00:12:31.620 Pat Duckworth: Not only grown up with Apps but a few steps for fertility and a few steps to monitor their menstrual periods, so it would be the next stage of doing all of that.
00:12:31.920 --> 00:12:45.210 Pat Duckworth: The only thing I think might be missing might be that you know, I know, then that you get something personal so you're not worried about talking to other people, but then you're missing out on the interaction with other women that I think can be really reassuring.
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:50.430 Lesley Fettes: I think you can have that through an APP as well, you can create that community within an APP and.
00:12:51.030 --> 00:13:01.620 Lesley Fettes: All you direct people out to you know your Facebook group for something so I think there is definitely that that element could well be added so yeah I might I might be going off and registering my APP now and.
00:13:04.290 --> 00:13:05.910 Lesley Fettes: Everyone else jumps on the bandwagon.
00:13:07.470 --> 00:13:07.740 Lesley Fettes: well.
00:13:07.920 --> 00:13:14.790 Pat Duckworth: Leslie I know that you are passionate about branding so what made you passionate about branding.
00:13:16.380 --> 00:13:26.910 Lesley Fettes: I think now I felt fell into marketing and quite by accident really and I guess since then i've just I have this wonderful lovers companies and how.
00:13:27.420 --> 00:13:33.840 Lesley Fettes: Companies communicate to people, and you know, hence talking about Apps and and who who that APP is targeted that.
00:13:34.170 --> 00:13:42.570 Lesley Fettes: And and it's about values it's about kind of know what what you stand for as a business or an organization and and being able to.
00:13:42.900 --> 00:13:52.800 Lesley Fettes: communicate that to the wider audience really so yeah I get very excited even about you know things like you know, I have a client who specializes in dirty water but it's still very exciting.
00:13:54.780 --> 00:13:55.470 Pat Duckworth: I love it.
00:13:56.070 --> 00:13:59.520 Pat Duckworth: So, after the break we'll be introducing Leslie more.
00:13:59.520 --> 00:14:11.370 Pat Duckworth: Formally, and we're going to be talking about her surprising and shocking experience of menopause and how she dealt with it, what the effects were on her.
00:14:11.670 --> 00:14:19.770 Pat Duckworth: And so, join us after the break to hear more about Leslie and her experience and what you can learn for from it see you after the break.
00:16:35.550 --> 00:16:41.010 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders that manacles.
00:16:41.400 --> 00:16:51.510 Pat Duckworth: And my guest today is Leslie festus who's based here in the UK and she and I managed to meet each other at the very last live networking event we both went to.
00:16:51.810 --> 00:17:05.700 Pat Duckworth: Back in 2020 I had to think what year it was i've so much lost track of time Leslie is a director at network design a full service creative marketing agency based in Cambridge in the UK.
00:17:06.270 --> 00:17:22.170 Pat Duckworth: having suffered and early menopause spoiler alert the age of 36 she has first hand experience of what work to help manage her symptoms and she wants to use this knowledge to raise awareness of the impact of menopause and help support other women.
00:17:22.740 --> 00:17:30.960 Pat Duckworth: menopause should be talked about, and she wants to get the conversation started and I love that she is so much younger than I am.
00:17:31.620 --> 00:17:43.410 Pat Duckworth: A younger audience to talk to about it so Leslie let's start with your story, now that we've kind of given the spoiler to right, so how old were you when you met your husband.
00:17:44.580 --> 00:17:45.600 Lesley Fettes: he's 20.
00:17:46.950 --> 00:17:47.130 Lesley Fettes: it's.
00:17:48.390 --> 00:17:54.750 Lesley Fettes: Just a child that three weeks before my 21st birthday, I think so yeah a long time ago now.
00:17:55.830 --> 00:17:57.330 Pat Duckworth: Was it love, at first sight.
00:17:59.760 --> 00:18:02.970 Lesley Fettes: You might be wait, yes, yes, it was it was definitely.
00:18:05.070 --> 00:18:05.430 Lesley Fettes: Yes.
00:18:07.080 --> 00:18:10.050 Pat Duckworth: Did you always plan to get married and have a.
00:18:10.860 --> 00:18:24.240 Lesley Fettes: Nice night that was never on the agenda, I was quite nice I don't want to get married now i'm not going to have children and and then that kind of eventually changed when I realized that my husband well my then boyfriend was.
00:18:24.450 --> 00:18:34.680 Lesley Fettes: quite keen to hang around with me and stayed and yeah years turned into years or dates turned into months turned into us and yeah just.
00:18:35.010 --> 00:18:45.210 Lesley Fettes: amazed i'm really fortunate to have found him really where we were getting very well together quite different in ways, but also very alike and support each other quite a lot of things so.
00:18:45.900 --> 00:18:48.210 Pat Duckworth: So when did you decide to have children.
00:18:49.170 --> 00:18:59.700 Lesley Fettes: And so we got married when I was 27 so I always say the best year of my life was when I was 27 and I lied about my age for many years, I still 27.
00:19:00.360 --> 00:19:07.740 Lesley Fettes: And, and then yeah it was kind of a conversation from there and we knew when we got married that it wasn't a case of we're getting married to have children.
00:19:08.130 --> 00:19:18.930 Lesley Fettes: And it was a case of that will be the next step, but we wanted to take our time we basically mature students at university, so we were quite late to our careers and.
00:19:19.560 --> 00:19:26.670 Lesley Fettes: And yeah it was, I guess, we were still finding our feet and life and settling into life in Cambridge with recently bought a house or.
00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:33.960 Lesley Fettes: No think we've got married first and then we then we bought a house, so we were kind of doing nothing got a dog had a house prank but a dog.
00:19:34.260 --> 00:19:48.780 Lesley Fettes: You know, and then it was like let's talk about children, and so it wasn't until I was 34 I fell pregnant with our son and but it took a while it took a while to get to being pregnant and yeah that was that felt a bit tricky and.
00:19:49.950 --> 00:19:52.530 Pat Duckworth: So then, so you had your son.
00:19:53.550 --> 00:20:01.530 Pat Duckworth: Everything was going OK, and then, then what What did you start to experience that men, all I need to go and check the sale.
00:20:01.800 --> 00:20:10.020 Lesley Fettes: yeah so I have my son, and it was quite a traumatic birth and he was a time pan nine.
00:20:10.050 --> 00:20:17.850 Lesley Fettes: Baby so he wasn't small, it was quite big source of expecting that i've been a big baby my husband have been a big baby.
00:20:18.270 --> 00:20:25.110 Lesley Fettes: And that you know i'm five foot 10 or five foot nine so you know i'm not small for a lady either and.
00:20:25.590 --> 00:20:35.190 Lesley Fettes: And it was yeah it was a long baby, but that he never slept he was just always awake even as a tiny child, it was like napping just wasn't something for him so.
00:20:35.760 --> 00:20:42.210 Lesley Fettes: sorts of the first 10 months of his life I was just always running on empty really always running on low.
00:20:42.540 --> 00:20:54.990 Lesley Fettes: And if he picked up any infections I instantly got them, and you know my husband and my son and myself with them co sleep together and try and keep the germs away from my husband, who was working and all that malarkey.
00:20:55.800 --> 00:21:03.150 Lesley Fettes: And then, it was probably post 12 months going into 18 months of his age, and I was back at work.
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:16.500 Lesley Fettes: I really didn't feel very well I just felt I was constantly battling with infections and I got shingles I think i've got shingles before I went back to work, and that really wasn't very nice and having to deal with a small baby.
00:21:17.310 --> 00:21:22.410 Lesley Fettes: And, and it just there was lots of lots of niggly things that I was just like.
00:21:22.890 --> 00:21:30.360 Lesley Fettes: Maybe it's just because i'm sleep deprived i've got a young child to look after I was breastfeeding him, you know all of those things are really tiring but.
00:21:30.810 --> 00:21:36.180 Lesley Fettes: I wasn't shifting weight and I was constantly tired, I was very irritable.
00:21:36.540 --> 00:21:44.580 Lesley Fettes: And, and the thing that sealed the deal well there was two things that sealed the deal for me really that made me think like I need to do something about this, it was the night sweats.
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:57.180 Lesley Fettes: i'd wake up in the middle of the night and i'd be dripping from head to toe like you know someone who poured a bucket of water on me i'd be like rolling back the sheets and you know changing my pajamas and trying to get back to sleep again.
00:21:58.230 --> 00:22:14.640 Lesley Fettes: And then also my concentration level so as back at work, and I was you know, put it down to baby brain is like i'm not getting enough sleep but suddenly I just you know people would talk to me, and it would be like just words, which will show for me like I have no idea what they talk.
00:22:16.890 --> 00:22:31.560 Pat Duckworth: In the world for a journey isn't it, I mean I used to be at work thinking, I really must change my glasses, because I can't see clearly and then doesn't seem to be the glasses what what is going on it's weird is.
00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:35.550 Pat Duckworth: That stage did you head off to the doctor.
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:47.100 Lesley Fettes: I did, and I said to my husband, you know I need to go to the gap I don't feel right and he he could see that as well, and obviously the night sweats were very obvious so and.
00:22:47.580 --> 00:22:57.840 Lesley Fettes: off I try and go to the gap what after noon after work and sat down had a chat with her went through my kind of list of symptoms and jokingly said to her.
00:22:58.140 --> 00:23:11.400 Lesley Fettes: I hope, perhaps i'm going through the medicals and she went well, perhaps you are, and I was like what there is such a thing as like early menopause i'm like 30 I was 3535 i'm not 55 like what's going on.
00:23:11.820 --> 00:23:18.900 Lesley Fettes: she's like no it's entirely possible does it run in the family and i'm like I don't know I never spoke to my mom about the medicals you know and.
00:23:19.380 --> 00:23:26.160 Lesley Fettes: I add my mom was going through the metaphors because I found the quality of evening primrose oil in the cupboards and so what's next for mom.
00:23:26.490 --> 00:23:33.270 Lesley Fettes: And she's like oh that's for the medicals so I knew nothing about it, and you know, all I knew about the metaphors wish you had hot flashes.
00:23:33.660 --> 00:23:39.960 Lesley Fettes: And it was like okay this, this is really odd so that was then the start of having.
00:23:40.470 --> 00:23:52.500 Lesley Fettes: rounds of blood tests really to kind of make sure it wasn't anything else, nothing will sinister, which is obviously what I jumped to automatically my brain I was like well i'm dying, or you know something seriously horribles happening to me.
00:23:52.980 --> 00:23:53.880 Lesley Fettes: yeah and.
00:23:54.210 --> 00:23:56.040 Pat Duckworth: And at what stage super.
00:23:57.270 --> 00:24:01.410 Pat Duckworth: doctor did she send us consultant at that stage, or is this.
00:24:01.830 --> 00:24:04.650 Pat Duckworth: Is where you're going to go and see our and find out what's happening.
00:24:05.010 --> 00:24:16.470 Lesley Fettes: So yeah so I mean my GP was awfully she was she's a female GP and she had her own interest in menopause as well, so i'm quite fortunate, and that I landed with her and I, and I, like her.
00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:27.060 Lesley Fettes: And, and so it was a case of going for both tests went back yeah these don't look great and we need to take some more to make sure it's not just your thyroid that's playing up.
00:24:27.510 --> 00:24:39.510 Lesley Fettes: And so, went through some more blood tests and then eventually she could she confirmed that it she couldn't see it was anything other than than the medicals because of my estrogen and progesterone levels were just kind of all over the place.
00:24:40.080 --> 00:24:53.370 Lesley Fettes: And so, then I was referred to a consultant, and at the local hospital, which you know, I have to say we're very fortunate in Cambridge with having such an amazing teaching hospital on our doorstep and.
00:24:53.910 --> 00:24:56.850 Pat Duckworth: For your 35th birthday yeah.
00:24:57.090 --> 00:24:57.330 I know.
00:24:58.830 --> 00:25:10.230 Lesley Fettes: My husband and I planned I put the day off work he put the day of work we were going to pub lunch in a child was it nurseries, I can just got a pop to see the consultant and Adam Brits hospital.
00:25:10.710 --> 00:25:24.000 Lesley Fettes: And off we went to get my results, and it was like yeah you've gone through nearly medicals and I was just so shocked, it was just like okay well, this was a birthday, I was expecting thanks very much like.
00:25:24.810 --> 00:25:33.030 Lesley Fettes: Okay, there was I just it was just heartbreaking I just remember feeling I just it was in floods of tears, I think, because it was the reality of.
00:25:33.480 --> 00:25:38.070 Lesley Fettes: Not having any more children, I think, was the one thing that I just found the hardest to deal with.
00:25:38.520 --> 00:25:43.530 Lesley Fettes: And I thought my consultant was very much that well at least you've had the one you know least you got there.
00:25:43.800 --> 00:25:51.420 Lesley Fettes: And it was like that that's not the point you know, and then we never we never decided to have a big family or anything we never talked about it, you know we.
00:25:51.900 --> 00:25:57.720 Lesley Fettes: plan to be married and we planned eventually to have a family, but what that family was going to be we didn't know.
00:25:58.410 --> 00:26:05.100 Lesley Fettes: And so yeah I found that really quite shocking and then I was just it was a case of like you have to go on hrt.
00:26:05.550 --> 00:26:09.390 Lesley Fettes: Then you know you're 36 years of age you've got a young child to look after.
00:26:09.720 --> 00:26:20.190 Lesley Fettes: you've got to protect your bones you've got to go on hrt and I just remember coming out that consultation so grateful that my husband was with me, because I was just completely bamboozled I was just I didn't know.
00:26:20.580 --> 00:26:28.140 Lesley Fettes: where to turn what to do and didn't know what to say and at least he was there to answer some questions and then we.
00:26:29.190 --> 00:26:33.930 Lesley Fettes: went to the park but remember sitting in the garden and up because I was too hot can sit in.
00:26:36.150 --> 00:26:44.490 Lesley Fettes: This in February and the glass that look passive glass of wine just cried I was just nine you know and.
00:26:44.940 --> 00:26:47.130 Pat Duckworth: it's huge news to receive this.
00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:56.340 Pat Duckworth: age, and you know that happens to depending on what research you look at early menopause can affect between one and 3% of women.
00:26:56.700 --> 00:27:12.180 Pat Duckworth: And sometimes it's like leslie's where it's just come out the blue or it might be due to a medical condition, it could be due to a hysterectomy or some other medical treatment so it's a huge thing, how did you find that decision about taking hrt.
00:27:13.110 --> 00:27:23.610 Lesley Fettes: And I didn't make it there, and then I am was quite practical guess in that respect and We walked away, and I said i'm going to look into this, because all I knew about hrt was.
00:27:23.910 --> 00:27:34.230 Lesley Fettes: And it would give me cancer, and it would kill me, and you know, all I knew about hrt was all the bad press all the bad research, you know everything was just doom and gloom about it.
00:27:34.680 --> 00:27:42.120 Lesley Fettes: And, and I don't remember my mother being on it, and I remember her being petrified about it, and I was like my.
00:27:42.690 --> 00:27:53.910 Lesley Fettes: What am I supposed to do, I feel like i've got the choice of having cancer or you know breaking bones what i'm looking after my child like what's the lesser of the two evil I don't really understand so.
00:27:54.390 --> 00:28:06.480 Lesley Fettes: I took my time I did some research and I looked into, you know what hrt is and and what the statistics were about it and.
00:28:07.320 --> 00:28:17.400 Lesley Fettes: giving you cancer or other, you know diseases and actually when I started looking at the stats and women, naturally, as they grow older and more susceptible to getting cancers.
00:28:17.730 --> 00:28:25.530 Lesley Fettes: And certainly breast cancers etc and heart disease, and all of this sort of stuff so that's naturally going to happen as I age anyway and.
00:28:25.890 --> 00:28:33.600 Lesley Fettes: I couldn't find anywhere that hrt was accelerating that always causing it, so I kind of and it took a lot of digging to.
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:45.480 Lesley Fettes: Take a lot of digging but I decided Okay, so my quality of life here is the most important thing, and to be around for my child, so I felt hrt was was the way to go, but.
00:28:46.620 --> 00:28:46.710 Lesley Fettes: You.
00:28:47.880 --> 00:29:01.860 Pat Duckworth: Know we'll come back to that, but you know, this is a major concern for many women because the evidence has been so conflicting and really we all have to do our own research into whether it's right for us.
00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:17.100 Pat Duckworth: and have that conversation with a doctor or you know, a gynecologist so you're getting good advice and it's still going to be conflicting, and you have to make your own decisions about it, based on your medical history.
00:29:18.300 --> 00:29:25.650 Pat Duckworth: At your age, the circumstances you're in like Leslie if you're young there's lots of protective qualities to HR to.
00:29:26.310 --> 00:29:45.000 Pat Duckworth: be absolutely essential to your health, so it is not an easy decision so join us after the break when listening will be talking about all the action she took in order to live a healthier and happier life after her early menopause we'll see you after the break.
00:32:16.020 --> 00:32:26.850 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to the hot women rock radio show, and my guest Leslie fantasy this week is talking to us about her experience of early menopause Leslie i'm times, going so quickly.
00:32:27.300 --> 00:32:27.870 Just.
00:32:29.520 --> 00:32:47.580 Pat Duckworth: Remember so many stories, you could tell but just before we get on for how you did different hrt and took different action and how did it affect your work, all of this, I know you're working for a small company, and you know women colleagues but they seem Pepsi doesn't it.
00:32:48.090 --> 00:33:01.410 Lesley Fettes: Absolutely, yes I kind of came back into work after my birthday, and you know my colleagues to cut Oh, you have a nice day you know what do you got to add it was just like the tears, and it was I know.
00:33:03.210 --> 00:33:11.310 Lesley Fettes: And you know I thought I was very open with them and said i've just been diagnosed with what they call premature ovarian insufficiency poi.
00:33:11.730 --> 00:33:16.530 Lesley Fettes: And, commonly known as early menopause and they were quite shocked and I said, you know what.
00:33:17.070 --> 00:33:28.500 Lesley Fettes: I feel that my me i've been really irritable you know i've probably not being the best colleague to be around and which i'm really sorry but this kind of explains a lot, and you know what's why i'm like this.
00:33:29.100 --> 00:33:39.570 Lesley Fettes: But I guess what I never disclose to them and what I was struggling with myself was my lack of concentration and this this brain fog, which I never realized was a symptom you could get through manacles.
00:33:40.110 --> 00:33:54.810 Lesley Fettes: And I feel I really struggled with that for a long time actually and and then, when we do our webinar together, I tell a story of when I was doing a new business presentation so Jane is the marketing and he's the managing director at that web design and myself.
00:33:55.830 --> 00:34:03.240 Lesley Fettes: We went off to Oxford to to meet a potential new client, we had a big presentation, a proposal to do for them all about their website.
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:15.210 Lesley Fettes: And it was almost i've kind of had up all the digital side of the stuff so it was all me during this presentation and Jane you know new bits and pieces but didn't know what I was going to say.
00:34:15.780 --> 00:34:27.120 Lesley Fettes: And I remember sitting in this room, with these guys in this building and the sun was coming through the windows and I started doing this presentation and I just had the biggest hot flash ever.
00:34:27.570 --> 00:34:36.030 Lesley Fettes: It was like sweat was dripping down my back my shirt was sticking to me, I felt so uncomfortable and I just remember.
00:34:36.690 --> 00:34:47.340 Lesley Fettes: Nothing like I was about to deliver this presentation really impress these people I knew we were more than capable of delivering exactly what they needed, we were in budget, you know we've been shortlisted.
00:34:47.850 --> 00:35:00.240 Lesley Fettes: And I just didn't know what to say all the words just went from my mouth I babbled on for about 20 minutes i've no idea what I said I didn't make any sense, all I wanted to do was get out of that room as quickly as possible.
00:35:00.630 --> 00:35:11.130 Lesley Fettes: And Jane could tell that something was wrong, but I had no idea and it just it really wasn't me, you know I quite like getting up and doing presentations and talking to me about marketing and stuff.
00:35:11.820 --> 00:35:26.760 Pat Duckworth: yeah, this is why Leslie and I and our colleague Maggie Ford, and we do talk to groups and we talked to business about menopause in the workplace, so we will give you a link at the end, if you would be interested in in having a talk.
00:35:27.210 --> 00:35:34.530 Pat Duckworth: So Leslie you decided to go on the HR team, but it wasn't the first formulation that works for you.
00:35:34.980 --> 00:35:45.960 Lesley Fettes: know they say I don't know how the first phone well, I appreciate how the first and tablet I was pissed on H, it was based on what my blood levels were what my hormone levels were.
00:35:46.470 --> 00:35:51.900 Lesley Fettes: And so it was like what's the best fit and I remember, going back to the consultant kind of three months later.
00:35:52.230 --> 00:36:06.570 Lesley Fettes: And I was like yeah I kind of feel better, but I don't feel great i've still got hot flashes and you know i'm I can't concentrate my brains just a mess i'm really tired i'm not sleeping well at all my bones ached.
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:16.710 Lesley Fettes: My joints ache and he was like Okay, and maybe we need to change your hrt maybe we need to give it a bit longer so actually he gave it a bit longer.
00:36:17.100 --> 00:36:25.950 Lesley Fettes: And, and then I was really worried because it, you know it takes about three months for it to kind of settle in it's like it's only been three months, and then, when I went back it was to a different consultant.
00:36:26.850 --> 00:36:33.060 Lesley Fettes: And I said look i'm really not this isn't great i'm not better, and I know this is like a synthetic hormone.
00:36:33.510 --> 00:36:42.780 Lesley Fettes: But it's supposed to be doing what my natural hormones do So why am I still feeling so rubbish I don't really feel that much different so it was then change to a different and tablet.
00:36:43.890 --> 00:36:54.480 Lesley Fettes: which I then had, I think I had a monkey bleed on which I was on that hang on a minute, surely the benefit of going through menopause is to not worry about periods anymore it's like this has to there's got to be a plus size as it there.
00:36:55.110 --> 00:37:06.180 Lesley Fettes: And, and then eventually I saw a third consultant, and this was a whole year later and and she said to me she's when I walked into the office that how you do that yeah i'm Okay, you know.
00:37:06.690 --> 00:37:07.650 Lesley Fettes: And she's like.
00:37:08.370 --> 00:37:18.090 Lesley Fettes: to feel like you're carrying around a sack of bones with you that you're just so tired that your bones a and I was like yeah I really do actually I don't feel great.
00:37:18.180 --> 00:37:24.570 Lesley Fettes: You know i'm expecting this hrt to be this magic wand and it just isn't at all i'm like Why am I bothering taking it.
00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:32.580 Lesley Fettes: And said no, no, you need to tell me hrt for the osteoporosis of Okay, I get that but we're going to change it we're changing it completely.
00:37:33.030 --> 00:37:38.520 Lesley Fettes: Out with the old in with the new type attitude and I was like fine and and then she she did and.
00:37:39.030 --> 00:37:45.180 Lesley Fettes: At that point, I didn't really understand the full length of hrt or the various different variants you could get.
00:37:45.660 --> 00:37:52.470 Lesley Fettes: And so, she said, oh here's the information go away and think about it, which I was like this is brilliant she's not telling me what to do.
00:37:52.950 --> 00:38:01.140 Lesley Fettes: And, and she was like right, I think the best solution is to fit you with a coil for the progesterone and then you have an Eastern in jail, which you then.
00:38:01.530 --> 00:38:09.090 Lesley Fettes: administer to your skin and I was like okay what, so this is like HR team she's like yeah yeah this will cover your hormones, is that OK.
00:38:09.600 --> 00:38:22.620 Lesley Fettes: and honestly within about two weeks of that happening, I was like oh my God, this is just amazing I just feel normal again, you know my irritability levels have dropped by seeking it improve my hot flashes disappeared, you know.
00:38:23.250 --> 00:38:29.880 Lesley Fettes: yeah I still have all of those I still have all the symptoms but they are so much less and easy to manage now and.
00:38:31.200 --> 00:38:32.880 Pat Duckworth: A lot of other things as well.
00:38:33.150 --> 00:38:37.440 Pat Duckworth: yeah your diet and your exercise, what did you do with both of those.
00:38:37.710 --> 00:38:45.090 Lesley Fettes: yeah so and I found it really difficult to shift my way after having my child and I felt I was eating well.
00:38:46.080 --> 00:38:55.710 Lesley Fettes: But obviously the metaphors have really kind of messed that up for me as well, so and I spoke to Maggie Maggie fordham he's a very good friend of mine and as a personal trainer.
00:38:56.280 --> 00:39:04.710 Lesley Fettes: And I just found her up in floods of tears and said I really need your help you know I just feel terrible I look terrible and.
00:39:05.370 --> 00:39:11.670 Lesley Fettes: Can you help me thinking, well, I can hopefully lose some weight or get fit, at least, and you know, protect my heart and stuff.
00:39:12.240 --> 00:39:26.550 Lesley Fettes: So she was very good and kind of listen to me and then was like right we're going to put you on a plan and and she got me on this healthy eating plan which remember starting when I went on a weekend to Center parts of my friends, a lot of things happened at that we can.
00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:26.940 Sit.
00:39:28.410 --> 00:39:36.150 Lesley Fettes: Like locking myself out of my phone because I couldn't remember the code and then I was like, how do you do a pitch deck i've never been to poach Dag or.
00:39:36.600 --> 00:39:48.930 Lesley Fettes: Just you know, anyway, so I was eating all this extra stuff until 438 that broccoli and eggs and stuff she was getting me to eat, and then I suddenly realized that I was kind of filling up on the good stuff and they're not wanting the bad stuff.
00:39:49.680 --> 00:39:54.540 Lesley Fettes: And, and after a while I lost about two and a half staying and way and dropped.
00:39:55.050 --> 00:40:01.050 Lesley Fettes: dress sizes so yeah I really struggled I just and that was great so.
00:40:01.920 --> 00:40:11.730 Lesley Fettes: What i've gone to Maggie for was really to kind of lose weight and look better and what actually happened was I lost weight I got fit and that brought back my confidence.
00:40:12.090 --> 00:40:27.180 Lesley Fettes: And it really helped clear my mind as well and and helps relieve that brain fog and and now you know I wouldn't do without the exercise it's like my down to and then that really helps with my mental aspect, as well as the physical aspect.
00:40:27.720 --> 00:40:29.880 Pat Duckworth: So what form of workflows do doing.
00:40:30.600 --> 00:40:41.040 Lesley Fettes: So kettlebell is my main love and and to the point that i've qualified as an instructor as well and I teach some ladies and locally in Cambridge.
00:40:41.460 --> 00:40:52.860 Lesley Fettes: And so I help support Maggie basically in a lot of work alongside her, but the using the kettlebell is kind of like just is strength training so it's a really good way to help.
00:40:53.520 --> 00:41:02.610 Lesley Fettes: build on your bone density and to build some muscle and it's a great metabolism booster as well, so it really helps them burn your fat in your calories.
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:10.740 Lesley Fettes: And and i'm such a massive advocate for it because, having perpetual medicals I have to have a bone density scan every year, we did have.
00:41:11.370 --> 00:41:19.680 Lesley Fettes: And I had that for the first four years and to the point that they then said we don't want to see you every year anymore, because your bone density is actually improved.
00:41:20.040 --> 00:41:28.890 Lesley Fettes: And I definitely put that down to the fact that i've been doing kettlebell and through that strength training has really helped I think that's really important it's really important to understand it's women.
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:38.160 Lesley Fettes: What happens in the metaphors and and what what happens to your body and what things you can do to actually support your body and make yourself strong.
00:41:38.850 --> 00:41:42.630 Pat Duckworth: yeah we can't stress this enough really but.
00:41:43.980 --> 00:41:53.580 Pat Duckworth: Eastern, which is one of your reproductive hormones, that is reducing from your early 30s and in leslie's case earlier than that.
00:41:54.300 --> 00:42:05.820 Pat Duckworth: The estrogen supports about 300 functions in your bodies yeah including your brain function, including your heart, including you know your bone structure.
00:42:06.180 --> 00:42:23.400 Pat Duckworth: And so, when that's going into production if you're not productive if you just think oh i'll just sit this menopause out it's only a couple of years, I might not be that you're ignoring the fact that all this other stuff is going on, that you can see that you're not aware of.
00:42:23.490 --> 00:42:41.100 Pat Duckworth: Yet, but once you're aware of it, you can do something about it, and you know, the title of today's program is about how many apples made me stronger, do you think if we hadn't happened, you might have just slip walked into all of this.
00:42:41.670 --> 00:42:44.940 Lesley Fettes: yeah I don't think I would have done half the stuff I did and.
00:42:45.480 --> 00:42:53.280 Lesley Fettes: And or do now, you know I think I would have captured a certain certain level of healthy lifestyle, but absolutely no when it was i'm doing now.
00:42:53.580 --> 00:43:04.860 Lesley Fettes: i'm fitter now in my 40s and I was in my 20s and i've done stuff in my 40s and that I would have never have jumped to doing in my 20s and my 30s and.
00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:12.960 Lesley Fettes: and part of that was you know getting fit and my husband could see that I was making progress and losing weight and getting strong with the kettle bells.
00:43:13.290 --> 00:43:25.740 Lesley Fettes: He was like over came home, one day, and he said and so we're going to do a Spartan race, as I Ali what the House is fast and race, this is an obstacle course it's going to be amazing we're going to do this, that military obstacle course, and I was like.
00:43:26.310 --> 00:43:31.290 Lesley Fettes: No, you are not is that we are both going to do it together it's going to be amazing.
00:43:31.620 --> 00:43:39.900 Lesley Fettes: Oh, my God I don't think I slept for about three months because I was so petrified about this thing, but we did it together and we raise money for the shot foundation.
00:43:40.290 --> 00:43:54.030 Lesley Fettes: And and yeah did this obstacle rest never thought i'd do it jumped a fire crawl through ice, you know went under barbed wire there's absolutely no hope and Hello we're done that, in my case, but I did it my early 40s.
00:43:54.960 --> 00:44:00.750 Pat Duckworth: So I think this is a thing you know, sometimes women as they get to mid life they think that things are over.
00:44:01.230 --> 00:44:11.040 Pat Duckworth: yeah and no it's all about your attitude on what you decide to do about it it's important to make those really positive decisions about.
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:18.120 Pat Duckworth: How you want your second 50 years to go, you might have to be 100 you don't want to be on a walking frame bend over.
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:29.370 Pat Duckworth: You want to be skipping and dancing and going where you want to go doing what you want to do so, the decisions you make at this stage of life are incredibly important and.
00:44:30.120 --> 00:44:38.010 Pat Duckworth: This is a start listening to people who can tell you stuff about menopause so you understand what's going on is a really important star.
00:44:38.520 --> 00:44:53.280 Pat Duckworth: So join us again after the break when we'll be talking about what listen these top tip is and we can give you some links, so that you can find out more about menopause be well informed and make good decisions will see you after the break.
00:47:25.230 --> 00:47:40.620 Pat Duckworth: Welcome back to a hot women rock radio show empowering women leaders at menopause yes we daring to talk about everything menopause and today we've been talking about the shock that can be early menopause with Leslie fetters.
00:47:41.160 --> 00:47:56.970 Pat Duckworth: So Leslie our time is going so quickly, and I have to tell you that, while we're talking i've seen some pictures pop up of my new great nephew who was only born yesterday and so congratulations to my nephew and niece.
00:47:58.230 --> 00:47:59.310 Lesley Fettes: machinations.
00:47:59.580 --> 00:48:10.440 Pat Duckworth: yeah it's in cat if he's been born in Canada, where they live, so i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that one day we'll get out of lockdown let's go see them in Toronto.
00:48:11.580 --> 00:48:22.320 Pat Duckworth: or trauma and so what is the one thing that women can do to improve their life, what have you learned from this really important to share.
00:48:23.730 --> 00:48:32.130 Lesley Fettes: Well, I think it's about being your own advocate I think it's about standing up for what's right for you so i'm having.
00:48:33.150 --> 00:48:40.710 Lesley Fettes: Having now embrace the facts of what's gone what what i've been through what my experiences I realized that actually talking about it is helping others.
00:48:41.130 --> 00:48:52.170 Lesley Fettes: One of the biggest things or the biggest feedback that i've been getting is that they've gone women have gone to their GPS and they've said i've got this section that such as the other symptom I think i'm perimenopausal and.
00:48:52.740 --> 00:48:59.190 Lesley Fettes: I need to go on hrt or you know I need some help and they've been dismissed because their GPS don't know enough about it.
00:48:59.610 --> 00:49:07.440 Lesley Fettes: And and it's so sad because so many women are then kind of turned away, and then they don't know what to do and then they're just kind of floundering and just feeling.
00:49:07.710 --> 00:49:15.450 Lesley Fettes: Like exactly how I was just feeling like you've got to shut up and shut up and you just carry on and life is this is what life is now.
00:49:15.930 --> 00:49:25.860 Lesley Fettes: And I was very lucky with my GP and but I felt I was let down a little bit with my consultants and but eventually we got there, and that was purely for me saying.
00:49:26.220 --> 00:49:34.320 Lesley Fettes: No, I don't believe that this is right now I don't believe my HR team is doing the right thing for me, I wanted, what else, what are the alternatives, what else can I do.
00:49:35.130 --> 00:49:43.440 Lesley Fettes: And I think that's really important to kind of be able to stand up for yourself but also kind of you know, understand what's going on.
00:49:44.250 --> 00:50:00.300 Lesley Fettes: You know i'm very much now try to live in a much healthier lifestyle and incorporate my exercise and that's a big thing for me and I do it because I know that that makes me better that makes me stronger It makes me feel better it helps with my mental well being.
00:50:00.750 --> 00:50:05.370 Pat Duckworth: And I think yeah that's really important Leslie and I just want to do a translation here.
00:50:05.790 --> 00:50:16.050 Pat Duckworth: For our listeners in America GP is your medical practitioner your doctor your guide me your obstetrician whoever it is you go to to talk about your reproductive health.
00:50:16.320 --> 00:50:29.040 Pat Duckworth: So in this case of GPS, like the first port of call the doctor your general practitioner, that you would go to who deals with all of your health issues in the National Health Service and sometimes.
00:50:29.820 --> 00:50:38.220 Pat Duckworth: Because you're not feeling well this can be hard and you're not sure what the options are and really getting educated, is important.
00:50:38.940 --> 00:50:54.030 Pat Duckworth: But also, you might need to take somebody with you, because if you're not feeling on the top of your game having a kind friend or a partner with you, you can say is this Okay, is what the doctor saying okay.
00:50:55.110 --> 00:51:01.620 Pat Duckworth: He want you know who so because, otherwise, you can end up you've waited a couple of weeks for the appointment.
00:51:02.430 --> 00:51:10.830 Pat Duckworth: you've had 10 minutes you've been told a load of stuff you're not sure it's what you wanted you walk out the door and you think I forgot to ask about.
00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:19.200 Pat Duckworth: So I think my other tip would be if you're going to see a medical practitioner writing your questions out before you get in there.
00:51:19.560 --> 00:51:27.960 Pat Duckworth: Like, what are the implications for me, of taking hrt well my risk factors, what would the benefits be for me.
00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:37.680 Pat Duckworth: What formulations are there ways of taking it, you know they were patches gels creams tablets pessary's rings.
00:51:38.190 --> 00:51:48.240 Pat Duckworth: There is no end of alternatives and not every medical practitioner is going to tell you about them, they may not even know about them, so I think.
00:51:48.630 --> 00:51:59.820 Pat Duckworth: advocacy absolutely essential don't think you're always going to get what you want first time it may not happen, you may be fortunate, you may not but taking with you.
00:52:00.480 --> 00:52:18.750 Pat Duckworth: somebody who can kind of ground you and ask the questions that you've forgotten because you've already got the brain fog or having a list of questions and running through them and not getting rushed, and if you don't get what you want, going back and he going to get what you want.
00:52:20.040 --> 00:52:21.690 Pat Duckworth: We feel passionate about this don't realize that.
00:52:21.750 --> 00:52:32.700 Lesley Fettes: We do absolutely and and also you know to back up what you're saying fat taking somebody with you, you know i'm really fortunate to have a very supportive husband yeah and you know he came with me, he will you.
00:52:33.060 --> 00:52:36.750 Lesley Fettes: volunteer to come with me and he might have regretted that.
00:52:37.560 --> 00:52:42.000 Lesley Fettes: They did, and that means he knows about the metaphors and he knows.
00:52:42.240 --> 00:52:51.150 Lesley Fettes: What my symptoms are and how I need to manage them and he understands that and I think, had he not come with me I probably wouldn't maybe have shared so much or being.
00:52:51.390 --> 00:52:58.830 Lesley Fettes: So open because it it didn't come out as an actual conversation or it hasn't been coming out and natural conversation, and it really should and.
00:52:59.130 --> 00:53:13.290 Lesley Fettes: Men should be as informed as as as women should be and, especially, you know we live longer now medicals happens and we're still working as a generation, and you know, we need to be able to manage our careers and manage our lifestyle.
00:53:14.040 --> 00:53:31.920 Pat Duckworth: And so you set up a Facebook group now because we've done a couple of talks for coming on recruitment in Cambridge where we've talked about menopause in the workplace and we're getting so many questions from women just about menopause so you set up a Facebook group now what's it called.
00:53:32.220 --> 00:53:45.510 Lesley Fettes: I have so it's called healthy and happy hormones and it's a private Facebook group for women and it's basically just being able to support each other and being able to share your advice what works for you what doesn't work for you.
00:53:45.990 --> 00:53:57.660 Lesley Fettes: I kind of police it on the on the face behind it in a way, and but just to get the conversation started and and this evening i'll be doing a Facebook live so i'll be The interviewer and with.
00:53:58.200 --> 00:54:07.260 Lesley Fettes: A beautician call Kelly mcewen and we're going to be talking about skincare and what we can be doing to help in the lead up to manacles and paste manacles.
00:54:07.860 --> 00:54:19.350 Pat Duckworth: Fantastic and, as I say, Leslie and I and our colleague Maggie fordham we do talks for business and for women's groups about metaphors if you go.
00:54:20.190 --> 00:54:32.970 Pat Duckworth: To pat duckworth.com you can contact me via that and we can tell you the sort of things that we offer because we want to get we mean educated, we want us understanding what's going on.
00:54:33.900 --> 00:54:43.050 Pat Duckworth: And if you've got problems with your own metaphors I have a book called hot women call solutions, we might not want to be menopausal, but we want to be hot.
00:54:43.410 --> 00:54:52.110 Pat Duckworth: And there are lots of free bonus gifts with that book that you can pick up so hot women cool solutions.com is where you can pick up.
00:54:52.770 --> 00:55:04.680 Pat Duckworth: A lot of bonus products like journals and visualizations i've done because one things I do is hypnotherapy and that can be very good if you're having trouble sleeping.
00:55:06.090 --> 00:55:06.810 Pat Duckworth: Yes, so.
00:55:07.020 --> 00:55:07.620 Yes.
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:11.100 Lesley Fettes: I can talk about that forever can we pass.
00:55:12.240 --> 00:55:13.320 Pat Duckworth: We certainly could.
00:55:13.830 --> 00:55:19.380 Pat Duckworth: Any last thoughts Leslie we've only got a couple of minutes left any last thoughts listeners.
00:55:19.440 --> 00:55:22.260 Lesley Fettes: I just think you know and menopause gets a bad.
00:55:22.590 --> 00:55:34.200 Lesley Fettes: press as well, and you know it can it can be hard it affects women in all different ways and there isn't one size that fits all so it really is finding out what you what works for you.
00:55:34.500 --> 00:55:40.470 Lesley Fettes: And I know what works for me won't necessarily work, for you know my best friend or my auntie or whatever.
00:55:41.040 --> 00:55:56.940 Lesley Fettes: And, but it is it's it doesn't have to be the end it doesn't have to be a negative thing I really feel like i've turned it into a positive and i've made it into a healthy lifestyle and i've made myself stronger and I understand so much more about my own body which.
00:55:57.300 --> 00:56:07.620 Lesley Fettes: I wish I had this knowledge in my 20s I wish I knew about strength, training and rick proper healthy eating not just fad diets that we all put ourselves on so well yeah.
00:56:07.980 --> 00:56:16.710 Pat Duckworth: So much Leslie for ending on a positive note it's been great, thank you for joining me and telling your story, I know, women find it very powerful.
00:56:17.160 --> 00:56:23.670 Pat Duckworth: And so to all our listeners, yes, if you want to contact us the easy ways packed up with.com.
00:56:24.180 --> 00:56:36.450 Pat Duckworth: Stay tuned on talk radio dot nyc for the Reverend Dr tlc on dismantle racism and this week she's talking to jeannie Spiro about from overwhelmed to action.
00:56:36.870 --> 00:56:42.810 Pat Duckworth: And if we want to dismantle racism it's going to take some action, so thank you again.
00:56:43.200 --> 00:56:56.700 Pat Duckworth: To Leslie, thank you to my producer Emily and we will see you next week, when I will be talking to the lovely stephanie mcauliffe about her experiences so have a great week stay healthy and see you next week.