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Extra Innings

Monday, March 29, 2021
29
Mar
Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/29 - Eric Weaver's Journey - Overcoming the Darkness

 
Facebook Live Video from 2021/03/29 - Eric Weaver's Journey - Overcoming the Darkness

 

2021/03/29 - Eric Weaver's Journey - Overcoming the Darkness

[NEW EPISODE] Eric Weaver's Journey - Overcoming the Darkness

Eric Weaver is a leading expert, advocate, speaker, and instructor on mental health issues, specializing in law enforcement. 

He is the author of the book, “Overcoming the Darkness: Shining Light on Mental Illness, Trauma, and Suicide in Law Enforcement. In 2010, Eric developed and began directing his own full-time training and consulting business, “Overcoming the Darkness”, in which he provides internationally recognized certification programs, training seminars and keynote addresses on recovery, mental illness, stigmas, communication skills, and suicide awareness, prevention and intervention, for law enforcement agencies, mental health counselors and agencies, hospitals, schools, colleges, and consumer and community groups. 

Diagnosed with severe mental illness and hospitalized for suicidality on numerous occasions between 1996 and 2017, while serving in roles as a police sergeant, pastor, and training consultant, Eric openly and honestly shares his story with each of his audiences. In 2002, after the suicide death of a fellow RPD officer, he wrote and developed his seminar, ‘Emotional Safety and Survival,’ a course on mental health, cumulative stress, stigmas, depression, PTSD, suicide prevention and awareness within law enforcement and among officers themselves. Eric has instructed this course to approximately 35,000 law enforcement officers and other emergency services personnel across the country. 

Due to Eric’s professional and personal experiences in his work in mental health, he has won numerous awards throughout NYS, and has been featured and quoted nationally in ‘Newsweek’, ‘TIME’, ‘Details’, and ‘Reader’s Digest’ magazines, WebMD, the FBI National Academy Magazine, as well as various news publications and local television programs.


Tune in for this important conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.


Show Notes

Segment 1

Albert introduces his guest Eric Weaver. He had always wanted to be part of the police force since he was a child. Eric started working in the county jail at 20, then in 1980 worked for the police. The last years of his police career were spent in crisis prevention and mental health. In 1985 when he was the training coordinator of the SWAT team, Eric shared with his wife that he was having thoughts of suicide but wanted to conceal this due to the stigma within the police department. Eventually he was admitted to a hospital for a few weeks, but lied to his job about a back injury to avoid any backlash from his peers. This would not be his only hospitalization. When he got back to work, despite the fact that his superiors learned of his condition, no one knew and his condition was kept confidential. After losing a colleague, Eric developed the conviction to share his story and develop a program to help his fellow officers contribute to the de-stigmatization of mental illness in law enforcement.

Segment 2

Eric shares how continuous stress and trauma had impacted him, starting from his time in the county jail at age 20. According to him police officers don’t recognize trauma as valid unless it is the trauma an officer has experienced in a shooting. Suicide is the leading cause of death in law enforcement. Eric believed that a factor contributing to suicide is that law enforcement is a male dominated field and men have been socialized to avoid discussing their trauma. Police officers are expected to walk into traumatic scenes of crimes and accidents and take command. They do this without processing the later. Eric believes that another challenge when combating suicide is that officers are constantly armed. One of the challenges Eric faced after advocating for mental health is that some people left the room and didn’t want to hear his message. After a discussion with his wife he realised that the people who walked away needed to hear it the most, but were not ready.

Segment 3

Eric worked as executive pastor while hosting these discussions about mental health. It became difficult to balance both so Eric decided to work full time as a mental health consultant and started his own business called Overcoming the Darkness, which is also the name of his book. One thing that he found is that many people who read his book are not in law enforcement. Because the book covers stigma and family, it is applicable to the lives of others. There are many factors that can cause a mental illness. According to Eric the median length of time for someone to get help is ten years. It is because of this statistic that he puts a strong focus on early intervention. Eric still struggles with his mental health and was even asked how someone so mentally ill can talk about recovery. Recovery is recognizing your illness and working on your issues, not the end of them. Recovery looks different for everyone.

Segment 4

Albert tells a story about attending a seminar for actors that he attended where he was asked to think about an experience he felt really great about. He told a story about his love of baseball and how baseball is not regulated by time. People at the seminar saw his passion and love for baseball and told him that his essence was extra innings. Months later, he decided that Extra Innings should be the name of his film. His takeaway from that experience was that one conversation or word from a person can change your whole outlook on life. Albert admires his courage to speak out about his mental illness to people immersed in a culture where discussing it was looked down on. Eric notes that people who have suicidal tendencies report having a sense of worthlessness. Some of the strongest, bravest and courageous people he has ever met are mentally ill. Eric wants you to understand that even if you feel worthless it does not mean that you are. Even if you feel alone it does not mean that you are.


Transcript

00:00:37.980 --> 00:01:00.690 Albert Dabah: hi there I am Albert dabba welcome to extra innings covering all the bases, I am a life coach therapist and filmmaker extra innings is a show that began about a few months ago on this station and we talked with many different kinds of people from different spheres of life.

00:01:02.190 --> 00:01:06.300 Albert Dabah: About mental illness or mental wellness or mental health.

00:01:08.010 --> 00:01:10.530 Albert Dabah: we've had on many different kinds of guests.

00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:16.140 Albert Dabah: And tonight we have a very special guests name Eric Weaver.

00:01:17.370 --> 00:01:21.840 Albert Dabah: Before we get to Eric I just want to mention that extra innings came from the film.

00:01:22.890 --> 00:01:39.270 Albert Dabah: That I produced I wrote directed and acted in and extra innings is now available on Amazon prime and it's included in your subscription and if you don't have one it's $4 to watch the film so.

00:01:40.230 --> 00:01:52.380 Albert Dabah: Eric lever is a man who I haven't met Yet although i've talked to him on the phone several times, including yesterday, and I was referred to him by a very good friend of mine who was on the show name.

00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.080 Albert Dabah: To me Tina Lee.

00:01:57.210 --> 00:02:08.100 Albert Dabah: Eric has a very unusual background, as far as I see he is really an expert on mental health, he does all kinds of work in the mental health field.

00:02:08.610 --> 00:02:20.400 Albert Dabah: And he also worked as a in the police department in Rochester New York for 20 years so rather than me tell you all about Eric i'll have Eric talk about himself.

00:02:21.990 --> 00:02:23.250 Albert Dabah: Eric how are you tonight.

00:02:23.700 --> 00:02:27.960 Eric Weaver: But thank you so much, and thanks, certainly for having me on your on your show Thank you.

00:02:28.620 --> 00:02:35.700 Albert Dabah: you're very welcome so yesterday we were talking a little bit about your self and you've had so many different things you've.

00:02:35.700 --> 00:02:42.420 Albert Dabah: done so many different things in your life you've experienced so many different things being part of the police department in itself.

00:02:43.980 --> 00:02:57.270 Albert Dabah: Is you know something that's not an everyday job I mean no so you maybe start off where did you grow up you know you work in the department in Rochester did you grow up in Rochester.

00:02:57.630 --> 00:03:02.460 Eric Weaver: Well, as you grow up in a small town called Geneva New York was about maybe 45 minutes to an hour.

00:03:03.480 --> 00:03:04.650 Eric Weaver: East of Rochester.

00:03:05.850 --> 00:03:13.740 Eric Weaver: I started working right in that county and they can at three in the jail is broken and Terry kind of jail is a deputy sheriff working in the jail at.

00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:28.620 Eric Weaver: The ripe old age of 20 years old, so they started up very spent two years working in the jail at you know various circumstances happened in there as well, too, and that in 1985 I went to the city of Rochester where I started my career city.

00:03:29.910 --> 00:03:36.840 Eric Weaver: There so promoted to sergeant and then 22 is but here's SWAT teams that years doing all this typical police i've.

00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:47.850 Eric Weaver: spent the last remaining years of my career running the crisis intervention team, which is the first of its kind of you say that type of officers respond out to those who are.

00:03:48.390 --> 00:04:01.740 Eric Weaver: mentally ill and suicidal and then I left as the mental coordinator, when I retired so long, long journey of police interaction of drug enforcement and all those kind of things in between those 22 years.

00:04:01.830 --> 00:04:07.560 Albert Dabah: And I asked you just been in here for a SEC, did you always want to be a part of the police force.

00:04:08.040 --> 00:04:23.970 Eric Weaver: Oh, always I remember, being a little boy going to the state, fair and hey yo it's a New York state trooper exhibit and the old fashioned cars back in the 60s and 70s and standing next to the car and saying someday and never being a police.

00:04:25.890 --> 00:04:38.280 Eric Weaver: Police person who went there, I went to went to the State troopers and you have a different departments as a little boy trying to learn what I could do so, yes, what I always wanted to do what to do as a as a place.

00:04:38.910 --> 00:04:39.870 Albert Dabah: In your family.

00:04:40.290 --> 00:04:43.770 Eric Weaver: No, no, I was the only one there's only one sure.

00:04:44.790 --> 00:04:52.260 Albert Dabah: So tell us a little bit about that kind of work that you were doing obviously until the lot and you deal with all kinds of.

00:04:53.430 --> 00:04:54.630 Albert Dabah: situations.

00:04:55.770 --> 00:05:07.230 Albert Dabah: Maybe you know tell us you know, a couple of things about you know you also delve into the whole mental health as Oh, how did that, how did you lead into that.

00:05:07.800 --> 00:05:13.590 Eric Weaver: Well, how I personally lead into the whole bunch of issues running law enforcement training what happened in law enforcement.

00:05:14.820 --> 00:05:27.930 Eric Weaver: was in 1985 I was a police sergeant i'd actually started on the Swat team, I was actually the training coordinator for our SWAT team in a sniper supervisor, so I was doing really all the heavy stuff and placing.

00:05:28.980 --> 00:05:34.710 Eric Weaver: But one one night in the fall of 1985 I told my wife at the time they couldn't stop thinking I kill myself.

00:05:35.670 --> 00:05:45.270 Eric Weaver: And I said, certainly i'll tell you this, but you better not tell anybody about that we certainly know that stigma surrounding mental health in general, let alone sergeant Weaver who was somebody back in the day right.

00:05:45.960 --> 00:05:53.700 Eric Weaver: Having thoughts of suicide, so one thing led to another she says well yeah yeah tell somebody and tell the doctor swenson my primary care doctor and.

00:05:54.270 --> 00:06:06.600 Eric Weaver: got me connected with the psychologist and then, little by little, you know that things came up as trauma issues came up and do various things about the police of our events that have had experience for that 10 1213 years on the job.

00:06:08.460 --> 00:06:18.000 Eric Weaver: I had my first hospitalization in psychiatric hospital, it makes any sense and summer of 1996 my suit my thoughts of suicide and suicide island became so break.

00:06:19.050 --> 00:06:22.350 Eric Weaver: That I was now a danger to myself, so I went to the hospital.

00:06:23.460 --> 00:06:33.960 Eric Weaver: I was admitted admitted there's a week or so we could to the hospital and so certainly one of the things that challenges, my first hospitalization out of any which we'll talk about first hospitalization.

00:06:35.580 --> 00:06:43.260 Eric Weaver: I said, you know to my wife, I said I gotta call in sick but i'm not going to call it up second saying this is surgery, we were they might kill myself.

00:06:43.860 --> 00:06:57.330 Eric Weaver: Because if I would have said that about 30 other phone phones with Adrian said yes, so we were just caught up into that right, so I had said men back one out, you know i've been doing bodybuilding show himself so there's this there's a stigma around back injury.

00:06:58.380 --> 00:07:03.030 Eric Weaver: So, nobody nobody cares about back so, in reality, I was in a psychiatric hospital.

00:07:04.890 --> 00:07:19.260 Eric Weaver: After every just charged after a couple weeks there if I myself barricaded in the bathroom my house are locked up in the bathroom I was cutting me I had open the skeleton key and beg him advocates toilet and I thank God every day that he had my gun in that bathroom would be.

00:07:20.460 --> 00:07:26.910 Eric Weaver: My my wife calls my doctor, the time it says, Dr this is miss leader i'm going to do eric's locked himself in the bathroom.

00:07:27.930 --> 00:07:36.000 Eric Weaver: He won't come out and my doctor says, have been where I stand by the front door, but she doesn't run out of the House and my doctor told her that she would call 911.

00:07:36.750 --> 00:07:44.910 Eric Weaver: Now, as you can imagine how I reacted very angry tough SWAT team sergeant when I heard the pleased to be called on me.

00:07:45.630 --> 00:07:51.210 Eric Weaver: And I yell to the bathroom door I said I said you bring some rookie deputies my house they better be like 20 of them right.

00:07:51.810 --> 00:07:55.290 Eric Weaver: And so I said, the only way i'm coming out of this bathroom my Captain or his mouth.

00:07:55.950 --> 00:08:03.300 Eric Weaver: But prior to that a lieutenant had showed up that I work with and Ontario county because I was working at this point, and he knocked on the door and.

00:08:04.170 --> 00:08:11.160 Eric Weaver: I wouldn't come out for him and that's what I said i'll go i'm going to come out as if the captain, that I was working for at the time comes to my house and orange.

00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:24.300 Eric Weaver: Well, as a views like a sunny day if they know that my wife calls his house he comes to my house, I live about five minutes away knocked on the door is that Eric you you got to come out and I open the door said yes, Sir, and like to buy a second hospitalization.

00:08:25.440 --> 00:08:32.640 Eric Weaver: Of course I did my first class was Asians, I went to a hospital outside of Rochester I certainly don't want to go to a hospital in Rochester.

00:08:33.150 --> 00:08:41.010 Eric Weaver: is easy for obvious reasons right so it's a small hospital outside of Rochester but after the second hospitalizations and second hospitalization.

00:08:41.850 --> 00:08:46.770 Eric Weaver: That hospital, which is kind of very small very short term don't have a lot of services.

00:08:47.430 --> 00:08:56.880 Eric Weaver: They said, we were so we were there is that a whole lot more we can do for you here, but there's a great day treatment program for you in Rochester strong memorial hospital, which is a very large hospital Rochester.

00:08:58.020 --> 00:09:10.320 Eric Weaver: Is that point in time, I realized that I had no choice and I started going to a day treatment program which is you know you're there for three hours a day, and then my suicidality once again became incredibly high.

00:09:11.400 --> 00:09:15.150 Eric Weaver: If the if the end of venture Danny sick side and ultimately been hospitalized.

00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:25.950 Eric Weaver: So when I came back to work, and I was very honest and very got my Captain new my deputy chief new was very honest with the police surgeon, because when you got that long says that about five or six months.

00:09:27.570 --> 00:09:36.210 Eric Weaver: in and out of a psychiatric hospitals diagnosis everything from major depression, to a variety of things and inside that during that 96 period.

00:09:37.350 --> 00:09:46.350 Eric Weaver: Because I was so treatment treatment resistant medications weren't doing a lot of anything I actually had electroconvulsive therapy treatments which are shock treatments.

00:09:47.130 --> 00:09:54.930 Eric Weaver: To allow your brain to actually function, the way it needs to function for medication to do what it needs to do so when I came back to work in any sense.

00:09:56.520 --> 00:09:58.230 Eric Weaver: You can imagine guess what it is asked me.

00:09:59.520 --> 00:10:00.420 Eric Weaver: Sorry how'd you back.

00:10:01.470 --> 00:10:07.710 Eric Weaver: Because no one knew, and so, when you work for police agency, we unrighteous we have seven 800 officers.

00:10:08.490 --> 00:10:15.660 Eric Weaver: So when you work for police agency, the big 90s, nobody knew where I was that whole time many officers and first responders feel.

00:10:16.020 --> 00:10:31.350 Eric Weaver: If I reach out and talk to someone everybody's gonna know everybody's gonna find out I can't tell anybody anything but i've heard those stories before but i'm here to tell you in the mid 90s, nobody knew my confidentiality was respected so well by my captain and my deputy chief.

00:10:32.730 --> 00:10:40.710 Eric Weaver: That everybody's asked me how my back end so which is amazing thing, so it continued on now i'm back to work again and doing really well.

00:10:41.220 --> 00:10:52.170 Eric Weaver: And then in 1998 FM myself in the basement of the public safety, both the time when I go to my hands off the 50th time I said, there is a very large locker room.

00:10:53.970 --> 00:11:03.480 Eric Weaver: As way in the back, am I going to my hand and I heard some water running in the locker room area which is maybe 6070 feet away.

00:11:04.260 --> 00:11:11.400 Eric Weaver: She was saying is very private act, so I certainly didn't want to let you die by suicide with someone in the locker room.

00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:20.010 Eric Weaver: So I heard water running your faucet and going back about whole circle walk up back upstairs and I passed to the bathroom area.

00:11:20.730 --> 00:11:27.420 Eric Weaver: And there was nobody to sing so that day my life was literally saved by water running from a seat that nobody to send.

00:11:28.350 --> 00:11:43.920 Eric Weaver: So, certainly, I certainly look at that now is silly divine intervention in some way, shape or form but I called my wife and I said I need to the hospital again so today was my six hospitalization and then in 2000 2001 2002.

00:11:45.450 --> 00:11:57.540 Eric Weaver: A police officer worked with it knew very well die by suicide and I knew at the time I go to a blue sky tell me I wasn't saved from all my own hospitalizations and suicide.

00:11:58.290 --> 00:12:11.970 Eric Weaver: Issues just to keep it to myself, so I said I need to tell people what I went through I get to help people with the hospitalizations I went to they need to do that yeah tough tough guy surgery Weaver he dealt with this too, and now we have an officer killing himself.

00:12:12.990 --> 00:12:23.700 Eric Weaver: Well, I asked for about 10 minutes and the command staff agenda actually told them at the time, exactly what I just told you know i'm no longer version but I told them what I just told you.

00:12:24.330 --> 00:12:30.840 Eric Weaver: So please let me put together some kind of program some kind of anything that can help share my story.

00:12:32.040 --> 00:12:43.950 Eric Weaver: and tell officers about stress and trauma and cumulative stress and substance use disorders and addictions, and all those kind of things that are causing our our profession to really struggle off.

00:12:44.700 --> 00:12:51.960 Eric Weaver: And then number had one in they're all very amazed that I, where I was because nobody knew at all like Kurt for the first time.

00:12:52.560 --> 00:13:00.660 Eric Weaver: And there's my Captain deputy sitting in a room and they basically said was any business was Eric was getting help, and so we kept this government venture which is wonderful.

00:13:01.260 --> 00:13:06.510 Eric Weaver: But I had one very well meaning Captain look at me when, after I gave that story and told them what I wanted to do.

00:13:07.260 --> 00:13:19.830 Eric Weaver: Again, I had a very well meeting Captain look at me and go sorry you didn't say it was loving way we go started, you cannot get up to 700 COPs are in it and tell them you're in a psychiatric hospital six times.

00:13:20.970 --> 00:13:23.010 Eric Weaver: And I looked at the captain, I said, why not.

00:13:24.030 --> 00:13:26.190 Eric Weaver: He said sergeant what would people say.

00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:40.350 Eric Weaver: I said, Captain that's the problem you and I are so concerned with what other people think of US they're willing to throw away our our careers throw away our families and sometimes throw were very lucky.

00:13:41.520 --> 00:13:53.640 Eric Weaver: Because people because they're concerned what people think about if the time a bit on the started another job, for you know 17 years, so I said, if you don't like to buy now they're not good.

00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:56.940 Eric Weaver: So, but it's not about me Captain this about that.

00:13:58.110 --> 00:14:03.750 Eric Weaver: At the time, we are our deputy chief brand new job she was also a clinical psychologist and he recognized the need for.

00:14:04.500 --> 00:14:15.990 Eric Weaver: Police mental training, so I was allowed to put together a three hour program I taught in service I taught every single day for six weeks rate to get all of our whole department in on that training.

00:14:17.010 --> 00:14:24.840 Eric Weaver: And then, because of that mental health experience in the US took various certification courses and stuff like that to be more familiar with Meta health but.

00:14:25.860 --> 00:14:27.330 Eric Weaver: we're just beginning to.

00:14:29.130 --> 00:14:39.630 Eric Weaver: develop Chris imagine team, training and recognizing the mental health issues and respond to as law enforcement, so I began our first CIT in New York state in 2004.

00:14:40.710 --> 00:14:43.260 Eric Weaver: And then continue that has been held for banner so.

00:14:44.610 --> 00:14:48.540 Eric Weaver: So that's that's the police part of it, and then it continues on after after.

00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:55.950 Albert Dabah: wow okay um one of the things that i'm real curious about, and when we get back from break.

00:14:56.760 --> 00:15:06.810 Albert Dabah: into it is like you know I guess well two things one you know your first episode of going in what was actually going on in your mind about man.

00:15:07.350 --> 00:15:25.320 Albert Dabah: And to how prominent is suicide in the police woman, we spoke about it briefly as so um wow what a story, you have so all right we'll be right back with Eric Weaver right after this break Thank you Eric and we will speak with you all right.

00:18:22.950 --> 00:18:33.930 Albert Dabah: we're back with Eric Weaver so Eric we were discussing on your hospitalizations and and how you experience them and.

00:18:35.070 --> 00:18:41.280 Albert Dabah: In the beginning, obviously you felt a big stigma to talk about it, you know how can you tell these.

00:18:42.120 --> 00:18:56.100 Albert Dabah: You know this tough police officer sergeant how you're you're you know you're there for you're in the hospital for a suicide attempt so tell me, maybe a little bit about and then also as we talked yesterday a little bit about.

00:18:57.690 --> 00:19:00.930 Albert Dabah: Suicide in the police department how prevalent, it is.

00:19:02.460 --> 00:19:09.600 Albert Dabah: What were some of the reasons What was it the trauma that you were feeling from being a sergeant what you were dealing with the kinds of.

00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:14.070 Albert Dabah: Situations you were in or can you discuss a little bit about.

00:19:15.120 --> 00:19:21.450 Eric Weaver: i've been i've been asked that so many times and it's there's no like one answer I think it's a combination of so many things.

00:19:22.830 --> 00:19:26.820 Eric Weaver: started in the jail in 1983 about six weeks into my.

00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:36.150 Eric Weaver: jail my corrections officer career, I came across someone hating themselves so you know six weeks in the job and brand new and.

00:19:36.540 --> 00:19:43.380 Eric Weaver: So started started through there and I think a combination of humans and stress, which I talk a lot about focus or two but cumulative stress.

00:19:43.830 --> 00:19:55.260 Eric Weaver: have just continued trauma continuous continuous continuous issues over and over oftentimes the law enforcement, the only time we consider or someone involved in a real trauma.

00:19:56.220 --> 00:20:04.590 Eric Weaver: Is oftentimes involved in a police officer shooting an officer has to take someone's like that see that's a huge trauma for the family huge trauma for the officer.

00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:14.400 Eric Weaver: But we also know that very few of us have been less than 1% of us are involved in a shooting so when you look at the amount of trauma that we face on a daily basis.

00:20:15.120 --> 00:20:24.090 Eric Weaver: It all adds up and not only that, but you also your husband and your father and your friend all those other issues and stresses it to general public that everybody has.

00:20:24.930 --> 00:20:31.770 Eric Weaver: But so adding on the traumas of death and violence and war and death and violence in a very busy city, such as Rochester.

00:20:32.730 --> 00:20:40.050 Eric Weaver: takes its toll and with personal things with professional things it was it was to the point where I can't do it anymore I just can't take it anymore.

00:20:40.800 --> 00:20:48.690 Eric Weaver: But that's basically what I when I told my wife and I can take any more what they know we do about that that led to subsequent hospitalizations.

00:20:49.320 --> 00:20:58.650 Eric Weaver: And when you talk about please suicide, sadly, that suicide is the number one killer of law enforcement about three times as many officers died by suicide that are killed by fallen.

00:20:59.280 --> 00:21:06.180 Eric Weaver: So baby by telling that means someone who was killed and shot and killed i'm doing three times that many death by suicide.

00:21:06.840 --> 00:21:18.030 Eric Weaver: Suicide being the number one killer of law enforcement and it's been that way for a while and oftentimes, as we know that off the police departments are very, very male dominated.

00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:28.020 Eric Weaver: In sausalito suicide rates and nails or four times higher than females are as well to not say the female is a risk, but they're just statistically higher.

00:21:29.130 --> 00:21:35.910 Eric Weaver: So what do you look at that whole thing, and you look at the challenges surrounding the law enforcement career itself plus being a male.

00:21:36.300 --> 00:21:51.690 Eric Weaver: Plus, many other things that we don't talk about our staff we learned we don't we're not allowed to show emotion it's difficult when you go to a call, we have a dead child in the human and he wants to go sit up the corner and cry but the surgeon you has to go come in and see.

00:21:52.830 --> 00:22:09.720 Eric Weaver: So, after the problem is is that's just that's just everyday stuff that's that's you know it's a trauma for one person to experience that one time in their life but for us it's every day or every other day, every year, motor vehicle accidents or you know homicides or things like that.

00:22:11.310 --> 00:22:18.270 Eric Weaver: And we're just kind of expected that's just what we do well, the thing is behind our our bulletproof vests is just just a person.

00:22:19.050 --> 00:22:35.730 Eric Weaver: we're not we don't we're not specially trained to deal with violence and bloodshed it's just we just deal with it and Sir, Sir, to learn the best weekend nowadays is there's more trauma informed care of this work, your specialist has more law enforcement.

00:22:37.380 --> 00:22:39.210 Eric Weaver: Employee assistance program is really great.

00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:45.750 Eric Weaver: interviews a lot, they just seem to be utilizing and so these kind of strategies on that.

00:22:46.290 --> 00:22:49.950 Albert Dabah: Was there was there I imagine there was nothing like that, back in 95.

00:22:50.910 --> 00:22:57.630 Eric Weaver: i'm not really there was nothing like that, and even if there was I wouldn't have gone or who I was back that.

00:22:59.220 --> 00:23:07.680 Eric Weaver: I never would have even considered going so a guy to such an extreme that i'm just very thankful that I told my wife at the time that I was going to kill myself.

00:23:08.670 --> 00:23:20.340 Eric Weaver: Because I went from like zero to 60 and you're not too long a period of thought so yeah so so, certainly when we look at suicide and suicide intervention and suicide prevention efforts and law enforcement.

00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:30.330 Eric Weaver: it's tough, because the other challenge is when when we when we respond to someone's home and they threatened to kill themselves with a gun we immediately take the guns away.

00:23:31.020 --> 00:23:42.540 Eric Weaver: Well, what is part of an officer uniform and officer is a gun so once again we do it for strangers, we need to do we, we often I encourage departments to do it for officers themselves.

00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:53.340 Albert Dabah: So what was it like when you when you finally opened up and you told the officer that you know, he said no, you can say that you said because.

00:23:54.990 --> 00:23:56.070 Albert Dabah: The response was.

00:23:58.560 --> 00:23:59.550 Eric Weaver: Well, people say right.

00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:03.690 Albert Dabah: People say so, you know that's obviously you know it's like.

00:24:05.100 --> 00:24:06.840 Albert Dabah: You know you they're trying to help them and.

00:24:06.840 --> 00:24:16.920 Albert Dabah: Then problem what people say how they're thinking about you like you can get you know you can break your leg and get hurt, but you know you can try to commit suicide and have a mental.

00:24:18.120 --> 00:24:21.690 Albert Dabah: What was the response when you first open up like that.

00:24:21.840 --> 00:24:23.430 Eric Weaver: When I first started teaching department.

00:24:24.630 --> 00:24:32.220 Eric Weaver: Right, I say this, every time I say, especially to police audiences when I taught the whole department all six weeks or six 700 of us.

00:24:33.240 --> 00:24:36.660 Eric Weaver: One day, I found out very quickly whomever friends were.

00:24:37.740 --> 00:24:39.570 Eric Weaver: Like I said hold my real friends were.

00:24:39.990 --> 00:24:40.530 Albert Dabah: Oh yeah.

00:24:40.740 --> 00:24:47.160 Eric Weaver: How it has so many people walk up to me and give me a hug sorry i'm so sorry went through that i'll say people roll their eyes and walk out the room.

00:24:48.210 --> 00:25:01.140 Eric Weaver: So one of the things that is is challenging is that sometimes when you talk about mental health when you talk about mental illness, are you talking about suicide, you know but anything to do with psychiatry or psychology psych psychiatric issues.

00:25:02.340 --> 00:25:12.930 Eric Weaver: A lot of people just don't want to hear about, and so my my ex wife gave you give me an incredible great piece of advice, they have like the first or second week would be training.

00:25:13.620 --> 00:25:21.780 Eric Weaver: Our department my wife, I said to my wife, I said I don't know what to do, i'm trying to trying to reach out to these people i'm trying to reach out to my officers.

00:25:22.230 --> 00:25:35.580 Eric Weaver: Let them know what I went through so they don't have to go through it, I don't understand why people buy some of them aren't aren't accepting this right, and she looked at me she says Eric when when you go into the peak of your depression.

00:25:36.630 --> 00:25:47.460 Eric Weaver: When you're going through the peak of your suicidality when you're at the peak of your anger and your the peak of all that stuff and some guy was sitting or standing in front of you talk to you about mental illness and suicide.

00:25:48.630 --> 00:25:49.890 Eric Weaver: She said what did you do.

00:25:51.540 --> 00:25:53.700 Eric Weaver: I said i'd be rolling my eyes saying how stupid.

00:25:55.140 --> 00:26:03.780 Eric Weaver: So she goes the people that do that are the ones that need to hear the most and then they realize they need to hear it that's why it's tough for them to listen to it.

00:26:04.230 --> 00:26:04.650 Albert Dabah: You know.

00:26:04.830 --> 00:26:13.170 Eric Weaver: From that point on, it was it was it was so easy to teach because those down like I recognized the ones who needed it the most when I get.

00:26:13.650 --> 00:26:14.340 Albert Dabah: i'll go ahead.

00:26:14.820 --> 00:26:29.580 Eric Weaver: And I got I got a lot of phone calls after that to those classes so TIM, you should for coffee search, can we talk so much today it realized they now have something to reach out to them and somebody to actually talk to the understood the issues depression and stress and trauma and.

00:26:30.270 --> 00:26:36.360 Albert Dabah: So they reaching out to you to talk to you about some of their own problems that they had no yes.

00:26:36.480 --> 00:26:39.720 Eric Weaver: yeah because now they know they do their some of it could open up to.

00:26:40.170 --> 00:26:42.900 Eric Weaver: Right it wasn't going to be judgmental wasn't going to.

00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:44.280 Eric Weaver: be like anyway so.

00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:51.360 Albert Dabah: yeah well I think that's, the key is that when you give space to people to open up and talk about this.

00:26:52.830 --> 00:26:56.550 Albert Dabah: You know and that's basically what my movie is about.

00:26:57.030 --> 00:27:08.670 Albert Dabah: my brother and sister what they they committed suicide and I, for me, it was a you know the beginning, when I was much younger was a you know I didn't no one even knew I had a brother, I never.

00:27:08.670 --> 00:27:09.030 done.

00:27:10.560 --> 00:27:17.190 Albert Dabah: And then, as I grew older I realized I needed to open up about it quickly after my sister died and.

00:27:18.390 --> 00:27:23.310 Albert Dabah: Since I had been in film I said, you know I really hadn't this need to write this film.

00:27:24.780 --> 00:27:36.690 Albert Dabah: And I see that it's really when you do open up you know i've gone around to about 20 cities and talk about the film and people watched it and particularly with Tina Lee at nami we.

00:27:36.690 --> 00:27:37.080 Eric Weaver: Had a.

00:27:37.110 --> 00:27:43.020 Albert Dabah: really big audience and a whole panel of people and it lasted about two hours and.

00:27:43.020 --> 00:27:43.410 Eric Weaver: In.

00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:53.550 Albert Dabah: Five minutes people lining up and wanting to do a story on with all kinds of questions and stuff like that, and I think there's a real need.

00:27:53.940 --> 00:28:05.790 Albert Dabah: And i'd like to talk to you more about that about you know you're going around and teaching people about it, and what you went through, because I think it helps people for sure.

00:28:06.780 --> 00:28:13.770 Albert Dabah: And you're right I think people who need to open up or need to talk about Maybe my after them, but someone in their family.

00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:19.740 Albert Dabah: who are struggling with it and it's still very hard to get people to go for help, even.

00:28:19.770 --> 00:28:29.670 Albert Dabah: For even after in my own family, I have a nephew has problems with this kid and I said you guys got to go for help themselves, not just send your kid.

00:28:30.030 --> 00:28:30.330 Eric Weaver: For.

00:28:30.420 --> 00:28:32.430 Albert Dabah: You guys to know how to help you kid.

00:28:32.700 --> 00:28:34.440 Eric Weaver: it's a family it's a family issues.

00:28:34.500 --> 00:28:36.930 Albert Dabah: Emily issue yeah it affects everyone in the.

00:28:36.930 --> 00:28:46.200 Albert Dabah: Family so we'll be right back and talk more with Eric about his journey and we'll get to your book that you wrote.

00:28:46.410 --> 00:28:50.940 Eric Weaver: Absolutely, thank you very much, because we know it didn't end in 2005 when I retire it so.

00:28:51.300 --> 00:28:52.740 Eric Weaver: Okay, so thank you.

00:28:53.280 --> 00:28:54.960 Albert Dabah: All right, we'll be right back thanks.

00:31:44.550 --> 00:31:45.000 Albert Dabah: we're.

00:31:50.430 --> 00:31:53.790 Albert Dabah: Excuse me we're back with Eric Weaver.

00:31:55.530 --> 00:32:05.250 Albert Dabah: Eric I wanted to ask you, I think it was about 10 years ago you started your own consulting business dealing with crisis intervention.

00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:06.090 and

00:32:07.140 --> 00:32:09.960 Albert Dabah: behavioral issues mental health issues.

00:32:11.370 --> 00:32:15.060 Albert Dabah: Was that exclusively with the police department or is that.

00:32:16.530 --> 00:32:20.010 Albert Dabah: All over did you expand that.

00:32:20.970 --> 00:32:26.850 Eric Weaver: It was all over I did a lot of trainings for nami international and semi-colon so I changed the various organizations.

00:32:27.810 --> 00:32:45.300 Eric Weaver: did a lot of trainings for churches, want to and after in 2005 when I retired I became a pastor, believe it or not, when, for the first five years or so, as the executive and passages, I have been to a project, accounting for very large shark in upstate New York as well too so.

00:32:46.500 --> 00:32:56.550 Eric Weaver: It was amazing when I go from hospitalizations and 96 to be leaving be being for doing presentations on our team and for police uniform with.

00:32:57.090 --> 00:33:07.650 Eric Weaver: My badge or and metals, I got another can stop, and I would say bonanza we've ever sergeant with the righteous please to burn commanding officer of are mostly desert person has been saying that I meant to you.

00:33:08.760 --> 00:33:17.190 Eric Weaver: that's how it introduced myself to audiences when I became a pastor my name is Eric Weaver pastor the church that he passes church and meant to do.

00:33:17.760 --> 00:33:23.580 Eric Weaver: When you talk about stigmas and people say how could you say that, how could you how could you say that you mentioned the hell out in public like that.

00:33:24.300 --> 00:33:28.860 Eric Weaver: I said I know I please also have diabetes, I know a lot of pastors that I had.

00:33:29.430 --> 00:33:39.090 Eric Weaver: leukemia I know some pastors they have heart disease, I know some I know some police officer said it just like you had mentioned earlier there's a statement on a broken leg with this tremendous singer on the words.

00:33:40.320 --> 00:33:49.530 Eric Weaver: So certainly realized that mental illness is a medical condition, I say that all the time it's a medical condition of the brain, we have a most complex organ in our body.

00:33:50.670 --> 00:34:01.170 Eric Weaver: Our brain which we still know very little about sometimes it breaks down to just like our livers just like our stomach just like our hearts sometimes our brains breakdown as well, so.

00:34:01.620 --> 00:34:12.450 Eric Weaver: When I when I left when I was working as as an executive pastor for the Church, I was in I was doing a lot of training, please training suicide intervention trainings.

00:34:13.650 --> 00:34:26.640 Eric Weaver: Applied Suicide Prevention trainings sober different trainings outside of even law enforcement, they do that I was working 60 hours of the church and 40 hours teaching classes, so in 2010 days left local church Ministry.

00:34:27.900 --> 00:34:40.050 Eric Weaver: And just started my own consulting business or recovering the darkness, it was I started training lots of issues, a lot of individuals, whether it be Community agencies, whether it be a law enforcement agencies as training, anybody who asked.

00:34:41.250 --> 00:34:51.270 Eric Weaver: It would be so the but then then over the years it started specializing more and law enforcement i'm also a national trainer with a national concept for brain health.

00:34:51.840 --> 00:35:00.450 Eric Weaver: And i'm an instructor trainer for mental health first aid and you spent per se and a lot of those classes involve teachers.

00:35:01.380 --> 00:35:13.800 Eric Weaver: psychologists and also things in primary care doctors and I did I wrote the public safety manager for that class, but the majority of people that I teach through metal per se, to become instructors have nothing to do with law enforcement.

00:35:15.600 --> 00:35:24.210 Eric Weaver: They do lots of other things, social workers that kind of thing so So what we do in overcoming the darkness is we we specialize in.

00:35:25.350 --> 00:35:34.380 Eric Weaver: Really teaching people up until it's really teach you about de escalation and communication skills and trauma and humor to dress law enforcement or not.

00:35:35.580 --> 00:35:41.640 Eric Weaver: And so that's an important thing, so my book is geared towards law enforcement, a lot of what I do is law enforcement.

00:35:42.570 --> 00:35:57.000 Eric Weaver: But so that we train anybody who wants to hear our voices speak on mental health recovery is, which is, which is a big deal recovery and hoping those things so so I want to make sure that word gets out as much as we possibly can.

00:35:57.360 --> 00:36:01.140 Albert Dabah: Why, why are you talking about the book my label I know the name of the book and.

00:36:01.770 --> 00:36:06.750 Eric Weaver: get it yes yeah the name of the book that I wrote just came out in October of last year 2020.

00:36:07.680 --> 00:36:14.790 Eric Weaver: is called overcoming the darkness shining light on the issues of mental illness trauma and suicide in law enforcement.

00:36:15.720 --> 00:36:23.370 Eric Weaver: And so I wrote that book with a lot of my own personal experiences, but in a much general approach to the issues surrounding mental illness and.

00:36:23.820 --> 00:36:32.220 Eric Weaver: Suicide and trauma in a variety of perspectives, not just law enforcement, one thing I found is that many people who've read the book or not in law enforcement.

00:36:33.270 --> 00:36:37.380 Eric Weaver: Even some of the even some of the reviews on Amazon, which is available on Amazon.

00:36:38.220 --> 00:36:47.880 Eric Weaver: already have it in law enforcement they've recognized make so many issues of themselves, so I spend time talking about stigma and generally talk about keynote address to talk about substance use.

00:36:48.660 --> 00:37:03.270 Eric Weaver: disorder they talk about family issues and all kind of thing as well too so it's available on Amazon it's also available on Barnes and noble and if you go to my website or coming the darkness.com or you can get a link right to the to the website itself where it's available so.

00:37:04.620 --> 00:37:13.110 Eric Weaver: So yeah it's it's it's pretty it's pretty intense and it involves a lot of issues and challenges that we just don't talk about.

00:37:13.590 --> 00:37:13.890 Right.

00:37:15.030 --> 00:37:26.280 Albert Dabah: When you when you say you know, like our brain is such a complex Oregon obviously that some people are just prone to depression, based on genetics or their environment combination.

00:37:26.760 --> 00:37:32.040 Eric Weaver: can become an issue of other things you know, some people do a situation and the questions are going through a difficult time they.

00:37:32.550 --> 00:37:39.780 Eric Weaver: They lost a loved one I think going through a grieving period, you may not have clinical depression, but soon they're going to really didn't thought.

00:37:40.680 --> 00:37:49.260 Eric Weaver: So, certainly when you look at the the rain, how it functions genetics plays a part risk factors play a part, to social factors play of our.

00:37:49.860 --> 00:37:57.450 Eric Weaver: substance use plays a part there's a lot of different factors that can go into someone's diagnosed with a mental illness and so, certainly if someone.

00:37:57.960 --> 00:38:04.320 Eric Weaver: deals with that and deals with the challenges surrounding whether be crushing or bipolar disorder, whatever it may be.

00:38:05.190 --> 00:38:14.550 Eric Weaver: One thing that's very, very sad is to know that the medium length of time it takes for someone to recognize there's the symptoms.

00:38:14.970 --> 00:38:20.730 Eric Weaver: of medium length of time it takes to get help for that person for that person to get help it's 10 years.

00:38:21.630 --> 00:38:33.300 Eric Weaver: So how how much how much life is is net live because of those 10 years of waiting to get help, so we talked a lot about early intervention of recognizing the signs and symptoms early.

00:38:34.050 --> 00:38:51.360 Eric Weaver: So the earlier someone gets help for my health issue, the better the better and easier, the outcome so certainly it's until waiting what I would have been given to go back in time and got help earlier before it came to the point of me telling my wife wanted to kill my.

00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:57.570 Albert Dabah: How to do, you mentioned that you are a pastor hadn't that play.

00:38:59.490 --> 00:39:11.220 Eric Weaver: In 2000 prior to that I was a pretty devout atheist up until 2000 and then in 2000 got it in my life and I realized, I had to call into ministry and that kind of thing, so I knew that I was.

00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:16.770 Eric Weaver: Law enforcement taught by people ministries out by people we just get to talk differently in different places.

00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:28.560 Eric Weaver: And so my mental illness it's amazing because people say, well, you left the police department 2005 after 22 years as law enforcement surveyed with a full pension and fully retire.

00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:37.890 Eric Weaver: You meant to almost all these traumas everything, everything must have got better right well, I was also hospitalized pasture in 2008 was my.

00:39:38.640 --> 00:39:51.060 Eric Weaver: Seventh hospitalization I was a pastor at that time so many Ellis doesn't just go away with your profession, sometimes and sometimes it lingers on as well too so it's very, very suicidal when I was a pastor.

00:39:52.290 --> 00:39:54.090 Albert Dabah: Why what happened, I mean.

00:39:54.570 --> 00:40:01.830 Eric Weaver: My my despite mentor has nothing happened and that's sometimes what oftentimes can be a misnomer to is that.

00:40:02.340 --> 00:40:11.310 Eric Weaver: You know what precipitated the head to be one single the back, you know as diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder obsessive compulsive disorders, I kind of features.

00:40:11.670 --> 00:40:28.500 Eric Weaver: of writing disorders and part of that was having thoughts of suicide, and so, certainly, even as a pastor we have thoughts of suicide, be the wife is virtuous people so it's so, but then after I left the local ministry 2010 to launch my own consulting business.

00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:39.870 Eric Weaver: i've been hospitalized twice since then, as far as again in 2014 and as well as hospitalization was in 2017 to trauma disorder Center in.

00:40:40.710 --> 00:40:47.010 Eric Weaver: baltimore Maryland for the issue of suicide and issue of mental health is still continuing to my life.

00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:56.010 Eric Weaver: Surely one one person and and never had anybody ask you this before, but a couple years ago I was doing crisis intervention team training for department.

00:40:56.580 --> 00:41:04.590 Eric Weaver: And one of the individuals who was putting the training the others of us in the room, he looked at me he goes sorry how.

00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:09.870 Eric Weaver: Someone who so mentally ill, because i'm considered seriously and persistently mentally ill right.

00:41:10.470 --> 00:41:25.080 Eric Weaver: Other mental health issues still go away and so on, but the medication and continue to be surrounded by the rest of my life and that's okay so we'll see if see if their best so things like I address what someone said to me How can someone who sold it they'll talk about recovery.

00:41:26.820 --> 00:41:42.540 Eric Weaver: I said recovery is a journey recoveries, a process recovery doesn't mean you're all bad recovery means you continue on you can you're you're recognizing your illness you're able to move forward, are you able to to continue on with with your issues and that doesn't mean you're all fixed.

00:41:43.650 --> 00:41:57.180 Eric Weaver: Some people realize that recovery for some people, is doing podcasts and webinars and reading books for some people recovery is being able to volunteer to food, shelter, one one hour a week recovery looks different for every single person.

00:41:58.200 --> 00:42:01.500 Eric Weaver: And so that's a really important thing we talked about that hope of recovery.

00:42:02.730 --> 00:42:10.410 Eric Weaver: needed part of part of the end of my book that talks about the recovery hope is that we can, if we get help if we we don't need to.

00:42:11.190 --> 00:42:24.420 Eric Weaver: throw away our families and throw away our careers and throw away our lives and we don't need to do that we can get help we can recover we find hope you're not alone it's a huge part of part of my principles or recoveries or two is that you're not alone.

00:42:25.740 --> 00:42:31.710 Eric Weaver: If you have tremendous value and worth and I that's my top two things I talked about with Barry covered principles.

00:42:32.730 --> 00:42:41.520 Eric Weaver: You have tremendous value and worth, but do you feel like it or not, and you're not alone, which many of us feel very, very long are you going to those very dark times.

00:42:42.210 --> 00:42:50.910 Eric Weaver: And so the importance of really reducing so those stigmas of of why people don't get help and oftentimes it's the fear right.

00:42:51.390 --> 00:42:55.350 Eric Weaver: Fear of what people say if your family would say fear of what whoever would say.

00:42:56.340 --> 00:43:11.430 Eric Weaver: The issues running hopelessness, of being completely what's the point where there's hope anyway helpless and denial, you know I don't have any problems are so many different issues with with mental health that can you hit as we sat down and we can talk for hours on.

00:43:12.450 --> 00:43:16.110 Eric Weaver: which really realized that you know understanding that early intervention.

00:43:17.340 --> 00:43:29.070 Eric Weaver: Especially recognize that and family members for family members to recognize Mattel issues and a lot, the ones in the neighbors themselves so they can get help early before turns into a crisis.

00:43:30.930 --> 00:43:34.290 Eric Weaver: And what it does turn into a crisis we do with it would be to do that it.

00:43:35.370 --> 00:43:43.980 Eric Weaver: Certainly, is an important aspect of of what we teach and how I teach it of understanding, always with a message of hope, always with the message of recovery.

00:43:45.150 --> 00:43:52.680 Albert Dabah: Well i'd like to touch on that, let me come back and break out really about the message of hope.

00:43:52.710 --> 00:43:59.790 Albert Dabah: Because I think that is something that when people feel really alone, and they they see no hope.

00:44:00.870 --> 00:44:12.030 Albert Dabah: Hope is not even in the vocabulary and it's like to come to the point where you're thinking suicide, and you know i'm sneaking through with it you're you're so.

00:44:12.750 --> 00:44:22.110 Albert Dabah: full of despair that you feel like nothing can help you so anyway we'll be right back with Eric Weaver this has been a real intriguing.

00:44:23.340 --> 00:44:26.070 Albert Dabah: interview so far i'm really buying it Thank you.

00:44:26.430 --> 00:44:26.820 Eric Weaver: Thank you.

00:46:44.160 --> 00:47:02.010 Albert Dabah: hi we're back with Eric Weaver uh we left off Eric talking about the message of hope um it it really hits me hard when we think about hope when I came up with the title of my film extra innings it was.

00:47:03.060 --> 00:47:09.390 Albert Dabah: You know, had all different types of titles and there was one title, I even forget what it was called but I never liked it.

00:47:10.500 --> 00:47:19.740 Albert Dabah: And then, one day, I took this seminar, and we were asked to talk about an experiences we've had that were really.

00:47:21.180 --> 00:47:29.070 Albert Dabah: You know, a real experience that's something that we felt really great about and.

00:47:30.240 --> 00:47:40.260 Albert Dabah: I went home that night, it was a five day seminar, and this was a seminar really for not only actors, but I was acting up the time and it was.

00:47:42.750 --> 00:47:50.460 Albert Dabah: It was taught by this great guy named Sam and he recently passed on and.

00:47:52.020 --> 00:47:58.290 Albert Dabah: I went home that night and thought about when I was 12 years old, my my parents had left to Israel for a year to.

00:47:59.010 --> 00:48:10.470 Albert Dabah: Where my brother there, who is gets a frantic and they had my my father had his brother there my uncle who had come bring them to Israel, like no we're Jewish we brought up orthodox you know, maybe.

00:48:11.280 --> 00:48:17.670 Albert Dabah: He knows a great psychologist here, maybe he can help him and maybe he'll meet a woman and get married you know and everything will be okay.

00:48:18.300 --> 00:48:28.020 Albert Dabah: And so I was living with my other sister and my grandmother my my oldest sister who took her life years later, she was already married them in California, so I went to a.

00:48:29.790 --> 00:48:36.150 Albert Dabah: doubleheader chase a I mean Yankee fan, but I ended up going to see a doubleheader at shea stadium Memorial Day and.

00:48:37.740 --> 00:48:39.420 Albert Dabah: You know I went with a friend and.

00:48:40.530 --> 00:48:49.950 Albert Dabah: The second game went like 26 innings, I believe, and that was after the first game and I stayed till about the 18th 19th and it was 11 o'clock I was only 12 years old.

00:48:50.430 --> 00:48:57.330 Albert Dabah: And, and at that time there were no cell phones and you know some always the phones in the stadiums never seem to work so.

00:48:57.750 --> 00:49:04.110 Albert Dabah: I came home really late my grandma went away, you know, but I got home just in time to see the end and that's what I was really happy about.

00:49:04.620 --> 00:49:10.950 Albert Dabah: But what I loved about it, and what brought me to baseball was my brother he had a love for baseball but i'm.

00:49:11.430 --> 00:49:27.360 Albert Dabah: The you know I talked about this experience of being at this game and just loving it and wanting to go on and on and on and, and that is one reason why I always love baseball because you know it's not regulated by time a when I was talking about this experience.

00:49:29.670 --> 00:49:45.840 Albert Dabah: You know I think they saw that I had such a passion for baseball and such a love for baseball so he gave everyone like a metaphor, in essence, for what who they were and mine was you know what I love extra innings and you know I thought about it Okay, and whatever that.

00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:52.590 Albert Dabah: means, and then it was like about a few months later, all of a sudden, it just hit me and I said extra innings.

00:49:53.370 --> 00:49:59.700 Albert Dabah: For the name of the film because I just felt like and then I came up with this expression life goes on pass the baton baton night.

00:50:00.270 --> 00:50:17.550 Albert Dabah: And it was like there's always hope you know you can always you know it goes on life goes on and they're 24 hours a day, and yet we can get the press, we can get down, we can think life is hopeless can feel alone, and then it could take it, as you know, i'm sure you can take.

00:50:18.240 --> 00:50:29.430 Albert Dabah: One word from a person meeting with a person or one talk with a person that could just change that look that you have on life, even if it's just for momentarily, but it could.

00:50:29.430 --> 00:50:29.730 Eric Weaver: lead to.

00:50:29.880 --> 00:50:47.340 Albert Dabah: Something else and I found for myself and my own dealing with you know because I always help people such as that it was suicides in my family to have them, it was that they were up and down their whole lives and I live with that.

00:50:47.520 --> 00:51:01.050 Albert Dabah: wasn't suicide, it was living with the the the mental health part of it, and there were sadness, there was a loss, there was on happiness, there were some happiness, but there was a lot of.

00:51:02.370 --> 00:51:09.930 Albert Dabah: You know, there were toxic suicide in order and a half, and both times I was devastated, particularly with my sister.

00:51:10.140 --> 00:51:16.350 Albert Dabah: will move off of my sister was like my best friend, so I you know I went through many years of therapy.

00:51:17.010 --> 00:51:27.360 Albert Dabah: slap went on guy you know and like you know, like yourself like I went and got a degree, I mean, I know, there was, I went to school for and started working as a therapist dealing with people.

00:51:28.470 --> 00:51:36.300 Albert Dabah: And then got into acting actually as I was in social work school and then got into film production video production film film production and.

00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:49.770 Albert Dabah: Ultimately, made this film, so I find myself, you know when hear you talking and you know, presenting yourself as a i'm mentally ill, I have these problems even recently I had these problems, I see that is.

00:51:50.670 --> 00:51:56.430 Albert Dabah: very courageous of you to be able to do that the same way, people said it was courageous for me to make the movie.

00:51:56.940 --> 00:52:07.290 Albert Dabah: That because you're out there opening yourself up being vulnerable like back then, when you were younger and in the police force you couldn't say that you couldn't go there a bunch of guys, this is where I.

00:52:09.600 --> 00:52:13.980 Albert Dabah: Think you're not you know you're you're not strong enough to be here, or something like.

00:52:13.980 --> 00:52:22.350 Eric Weaver: That that's one of the things I noticed as well, too, is that you know come come to say just it's a really old term but it's true, it is what it is.

00:52:23.820 --> 00:52:31.980 Eric Weaver: And so i'm not going to sugarcoat it and make it sound nicer than what it is, because when you hear the words mental illness, you know for people think of is crazy.

00:52:32.010 --> 00:52:48.180 Eric Weaver: Nuts and it's good, solid and all that kind of stuff well, one of the things that I have found is that you know if we know that one out of five of us have mental health disorders any given one out of five society have a mental health disorder anytime any given to hear right and so.

00:52:49.290 --> 00:52:54.300 Eric Weaver: When we look at when we look at the issues of how even talk about intelligence.

00:52:55.860 --> 00:53:01.440 Eric Weaver: If we talk about said, we talked about another issue another another disease, such as leukemia or heart disease, whatever.

00:53:02.100 --> 00:53:10.200 Eric Weaver: It is but i'll what i'll have my classes i'll say one out of five of us have a mental disorder guys are good people get nervous I got my start cutting up our products right.

00:53:10.860 --> 00:53:23.910 Eric Weaver: And so it so this her last they look they look at each other, which ones crazy which one right and I said what I said to them right after I do that, so what if I said to you one out of five of us in this room be diagnosed with leukemia next year.

00:53:25.230 --> 00:53:26.370 Eric Weaver: dead silence in the room.

00:53:27.990 --> 00:53:29.460 Eric Weaver: I said, what do we call I said.

00:53:31.170 --> 00:53:47.370 Eric Weaver: What do you call individuals who deal with other medical conditions because i'm brave and strong and courageous and survivor all words that are incredibly true what do we call people with another medical condition crazy NUTS get so whacked out.

00:53:48.090 --> 00:53:49.590 Eric Weaver: Is there any wonder wife, no.

00:53:49.830 --> 00:53:57.090 Eric Weaver: delay getting treatment as any wonder why people don't want to talk about it, I said you up in a second hospital nine times the last 25 years.

00:53:57.960 --> 00:54:04.650 Eric Weaver: I dealt with people who are mentally ill and countless occasions doing speeches and and in meetings and seminars.

00:54:05.190 --> 00:54:22.140 Eric Weaver: And the one thing that I have found is some of the some of the strongest bravest courageous people i've ever met in my years of either beaten police officer pastor all the stuff that they do now, some of the bravest most courageous people i've ever met him actually.

00:54:23.160 --> 00:54:31.620 Eric Weaver: How they get up in the morning and how they get through life and how they deal with family or not do a family or have family has exclude them because of their events Ellis or.

00:54:31.980 --> 00:54:39.090 Eric Weaver: Being able to get an A boss, just to go to a doctor's appointment, some of the bravest and strong and courageous people i've ever met had mental illnesses.

00:54:40.200 --> 00:54:45.870 Eric Weaver: And so, what do you look at the words that we use for other medical conditions like I said, which are very true.

00:54:46.950 --> 00:54:59.490 Eric Weaver: We use different words and sometimes we realize it when it comes to mental illness, we still talk, or you can say 1855 years but it, you know the bodies are still being done, not that long ago, look at the big scheme of history right.

00:55:00.600 --> 00:55:06.090 Eric Weaver: And so really when take appeal to think of mental illness, it goes one flew over the cuckoo's nest and.

00:55:06.570 --> 00:55:07.350 Eric Weaver: Things because.

00:55:07.830 --> 00:55:11.520 Eric Weaver: The media and Hollywood don't portray usually occasions.

00:55:12.630 --> 00:55:15.870 Eric Weaver: Media to Hollywood don't portray mental illness in a very positive light.

00:55:17.160 --> 00:55:23.460 Eric Weaver: So certainly realized the stigma surrounding that but going back to the hope and recovery portion of it as we talked about.

00:55:25.050 --> 00:55:35.010 Eric Weaver: Is that one of the one of the key symptoms are key indicators of some sorts of suicide is feelings of worthlessness feelings of that I know good and.

00:55:35.610 --> 00:55:39.060 Eric Weaver: Everybody better off without me that my family deserves better than.

00:55:39.840 --> 00:55:46.350 Eric Weaver: And so, one of the things we talked about is you know the recognize that your family members are yourself that you're feeling that way.

00:55:46.830 --> 00:56:03.000 Eric Weaver: And even though you feel worthless, I see this all over cook because I have felt it and sometimes I feel right, even though you may feel that way our feelings right to as a lot sometimes right, even though we're feel worthless doesn't mean we are just because that makes me feel all alone.

00:56:04.500 --> 00:56:12.690 Eric Weaver: In my job, Albert is when you feel all alone i'm here to tell you you're not alone when I feel alone you're here to tell me i'm not all.

00:56:13.230 --> 00:56:21.690 Eric Weaver: Because we need each other right, we need each other to survive, we need each other to recovery need each other to encourage we need each we need each other.

00:56:22.770 --> 00:56:27.810 Eric Weaver: there's one time, I chose when I was Western New York area director for the American foundation for Suicide Prevention.

00:56:28.350 --> 00:56:42.960 Eric Weaver: I did a walk and we did a walk a walk darkens walk up in buffalo buffalo and there's about 1000 people who have lost someone to suicide and I got up and ahead, and I said raise your hand when you thought, if you thought all alone when he lost a loved one a suicide raise your.

00:56:44.430 --> 00:56:44.910 Eric Weaver: hands one.

00:56:45.180 --> 00:56:45.810 Albert Dabah: yeah.

00:56:45.900 --> 00:56:50.460 Eric Weaver: Why, I said no, I said i'll look around you weren't alone, then you're not alone now.

00:56:50.580 --> 00:57:09.330 Albert Dabah: Well we're gonna listen that was really wonderful Eric we're gonna have to you know drop it off now, but thank you so much, this was really enlightening for everyone else again everyone check out extra innings on Amazon prime and thank you so so much Eric for being on the show tonight.

00:57:09.330 --> 00:57:17.640 Eric Weaver: Absolutely, and please check out www overcoming the darkens calm for all trainees and book reviews as well, too, so thank you very much, I appreciate your.

00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:18.690 Albert Dabah: Night Thank you.


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