If sin equates to missing the mark; The term "original sin" means to pass on early childhood wounding and trauma from one generation to the next. Join us as we explore how this dynamic is carried through into our contemporary relationships with our guest Gretchen Stubenhaus.
Tune in for this philosophical conversation at TalkRadio.nyc or watch the Facebook Livestream by clicking here.
Dr. GeorgeAnn Dau expands on the idea that missing the mark, an original sin, is something we all are faced with. Then GeorgeAnn welcomes a special guest, Gretchen Stubenhaus. She starts by discussing the original sin of her own life. Stubenhaus elaborates by stating all of her experiences and perceptions are through a judgement-free lens. The most important thing about missing the mark, is acknowledging it and learning from it. This includes in your own daily life as a parent, friend, or any other aspect of life. Stubenhaus shares some of her early life experiences with listeners to give an idea of what her childhood was like.
Stubenhaus continues sharing her story of early childhood. She shares her thoughts on therapy and how the effects wear off over time. People often leave feeling validated but in actuality nothing has changed. Until we are able find the problem in ourselves, we cannot truly heal our patterns of behavior that aren’t working. “Get in there and break up the hardened soil.” Around 16 years of age, Stubenhaus chose to stop receiving her therapy treatments. She breaks down relationships that came and went and certain choices she didn’t feel was necessary. What lives in our conscious we will continue to relive over and over until it’s out of our conscious. GeorgeAnn asks Stubenhaus for advice on breaking the patterns of passed down sins.
Stubenhaus is asked questions about her parenting style. She points out the differences in the way she’s raising her daughter opposed to how she was raised. She tells a story about getting angry at her husband because of where he moved the outdoor umbrellas in the house. She discusses the moment when she switched the urge in her brain to “nag” and turned it into a moment when she realized all the other amazing things he does to help. She realized in that moment, yelling at her husband for something so small, would not make her life any better. It wouldn’t make his life any better, and it could effect the attitude he has towards her and change how he parents their daughter. By choosing appreciation and peace, she changed the tone of the experience.
Using a vacuum as an analogy for life, Stubenhaus explains how our behavior is based off of everything we pick up throughout our life. Everything can be traced back to early childhood. Together they discuss how God has given them the tools needed to fix these “sins” in our lives. In the last minute Stubenhaus shares the things she wants to work on in her own marriage. GeorgeAnn invites Studenhaus back to discuss more on this topic next week. GeorgeAnn finishes this last segment with a beautiful closing prayer.
00:00:29.910 --> 00:00:30.540 Georgeann Dau: Good evening.
00:00:32.190 --> 00:00:33.720 Georgeann Dau: I'm Dr. George p&l
00:00:35.370 --> 00:00:37.110 Georgeann Dau: And we ought to get it too late.
00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:41.160 Georgeann Dau: For a journey through to awareness.
00:00:42.330 --> 00:00:57.720 Georgeann Dau: So I'm delighted to be here with you tonight and every Monday night, and for those of you that are listening on a regular basis. I really appreciate this is a part of the song, not of the guitar instrumental but a part of
00:00:59.130 --> 00:01:10.140 Georgeann Dau: The song that they play in the very beginning where the vocalist says I want to something like I'm not good but paraphrasing, those of you that are listening in.
00:01:10.590 --> 00:01:18.570 Georgeann Dau: I want to stop the people in the street and say, Have you heard this everywhere this. That's how I feel about the material that we covered here.
00:01:20.190 --> 00:01:23.400 Georgeann Dau: Because it's incredibly powerful.
00:01:24.450 --> 00:01:25.980 Georgeann Dau: It's loaded with truth.
00:01:27.300 --> 00:01:43.920 Georgeann Dau: And we all are immersed in it, you only differences, those of us that have an awareness of it and to what degree. So again, thank you for giving me the honor and privilege to be of service to you and with you.
00:01:45.210 --> 00:01:48.030 Georgeann Dau: So tonight we're going to
00:01:49.170 --> 00:01:58.200 Georgeann Dau: Continue from another angle and a different direction, about what we brought up around
00:01:59.970 --> 00:02:03.990 Georgeann Dau: How, what we have inside of us lingers
00:02:05.940 --> 00:02:08.460 Georgeann Dau: Represents itself and everything that we do.
00:02:09.690 --> 00:02:12.120 Georgeann Dau: Our entry uterine to age seven
00:02:13.170 --> 00:02:14.370 Georgeann Dau: Is always with us.
00:02:15.390 --> 00:02:24.750 Georgeann Dau: And the more aware of it. We become, the more aware of the particulars about it that we become
00:02:25.230 --> 00:02:34.080 Georgeann Dau: We're able to recognize more and more how it reveals itself in our contemporary lights as adults because it does in fact run our life.
00:02:34.740 --> 00:02:50.550 Georgeann Dau: And the more in charge of it. We can be through awareness, the better. And the more we're going to be living our own life. So tonight we're going to look at what I call the original sin which is
00:02:52.050 --> 00:02:52.980 Georgeann Dau: missing the mark.
00:02:54.270 --> 00:03:06.060 Georgeann Dau: missing the mark from our ancestors, all the way down the line to us and how God looks at us and gives us the opportunity to do it differently.
00:03:06.660 --> 00:03:20.460 Georgeann Dau: And we can only do that when we become aware of what we're doing. So I can only become authentic when I can look at and face without judgment, my own and authenticity and boy.
00:03:21.480 --> 00:03:35.910 Georgeann Dau: I had a decent load of that. So I'm privileged to have with us tonight. My guest Gretchen stupid house who is very, very, very special to my heart.
00:03:37.410 --> 00:03:40.350 Georgeann Dau: My Gretchen. Thank you so much for being here with us tonight.
00:03:41.760 --> 00:03:42.090 Georgeann Dau: You
00:03:42.180 --> 00:03:44.640 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Awake out I unmuted myself. Can you hear me.
00:03:44.820 --> 00:03:46.680 Georgeann Dau: Yes, perfectly. Thank you.
00:03:47.610 --> 00:03:48.180 Georgeann Dau: Hi there.
00:03:48.660 --> 00:03:49.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Hi.
00:03:49.740 --> 00:03:52.620 Georgeann Dau: Thank you for having me. Yep. So
00:03:54.120 --> 00:04:12.990 Georgeann Dau: I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy life to join us and to talk a little bit about your experience. I'm working through your own challenges traumas. I'm early passed on.
00:04:14.880 --> 00:04:22.590 Georgeann Dau: Perceptions distortions from your childhood into your contemporary life.
00:04:23.970 --> 00:04:27.150 Georgeann Dau: So jump in, wherever you'd like to begin
00:04:28.020 --> 00:04:29.670 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Um, well.
00:04:30.150 --> 00:04:31.470 Georgeann Dau: As you couldn't do the journey.
00:04:32.010 --> 00:04:37.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Just for the listener. I thought maybe you know I would give a little background on
00:04:38.580 --> 00:04:42.630 Gretchen Stubenhaus: The original sin of my upbringing. Great. That sounds good.
00:04:42.750 --> 00:04:43.350 Georgeann Dau: Thank you.
00:04:43.800 --> 00:04:44.940 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So, um,
00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:52.890 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know and as you've always taught me. And what's really important for people to know and here is that
00:04:54.180 --> 00:04:57.060 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I'm going to say some things that
00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:08.190 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Can easily be perceived as a judgment. And I don't mean them as judgments. They are just my experience of what happened.
00:05:10.530 --> 00:05:15.540 Gretchen Stubenhaus: In my upbringing in my relationships with my parents. Great.
00:05:15.930 --> 00:05:17.610 Georgeann Dau: And then, by the way.
00:05:18.750 --> 00:05:28.980 Georgeann Dau: Everyone listening. There's never meant to be any judgment in the analytical process in the process of spiritual direction. We look at what went on.
00:05:29.940 --> 00:05:33.450 Georgeann Dau: So that we can see the effect it had on us as children.
00:05:34.260 --> 00:05:48.330 Georgeann Dau: Everyone does the best they can parents do the best they can, yeah. No one is judging anyone you critiquing anyone. It's not like that. That's not our purpose here and it's never what we're doing. So thank you. Gretchen to saying that. Yeah.
00:05:48.450 --> 00:06:05.310 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Thank you for making it clear, yes. I just wanted to preface this so my father was a musician and he traveled and when he was home even working from home, and it was very late hours and
00:06:07.860 --> 00:06:17.520 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know when you get not much time with a parent and of course every parent is unbelievably important to a child because
00:06:19.320 --> 00:06:30.570 Gretchen Stubenhaus: We came from them. We live for them. All we want is their love we want to show them what we did, we want to feel their love we want to show them our love. There's like this magnetic connection.
00:06:32.100 --> 00:06:41.940 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And what would happen was I would run to him so excited. And he was very irritated. He lived with a lot of irritation and
00:06:43.890 --> 00:07:03.540 Gretchen Stubenhaus: he strove for perfection and everything. So he liked things, organize, you know, two little kids, making a mess and a playroom didn't work for him. So what ended up happening was, we developed this relationship where I didn't really want to be around him, which was really difficult.
00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:06.030 Gretchen Stubenhaus: For me, and I
00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:10.500 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I missed
00:07:11.880 --> 00:07:17.700 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That I missed feeling connected to that parent
00:07:19.950 --> 00:07:32.070 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So, you know, that's a good example of when you were saying missing the mark. We were really missing the mark there in because it's not about the time. It's not about the amount of time, necessarily, you have together.
00:07:32.280 --> 00:07:34.260 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It's about the quality, the quality
00:07:34.500 --> 00:07:34.950 Georgeann Dau: That's right.
00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:35.490 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So,
00:07:35.940 --> 00:07:37.410 Georgeann Dau: And from what I'm sorry to interrupt you.
00:07:37.590 --> 00:07:40.080 Georgeann Dau: And from what I know you've shared with me.
00:07:41.430 --> 00:07:52.260 Georgeann Dau: Of your father's experience as a child. It sounds like the missing the mark. You're talking about was definitely being passed on. Right.
00:07:53.430 --> 00:08:04.590 Georgeann Dau: Right, yeah. And we all do this by the way we all do this. There's no book on parenting. We all make mistakes with our children and. We all missed the mark.
00:08:05.310 --> 00:08:05.670 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah.
00:08:05.760 --> 00:08:09.000 Georgeann Dau: The most important thing about missing the mark is that
00:08:10.710 --> 00:08:19.950 Georgeann Dau: We learn through our mistakes you say we learn through missing the mark. But we have to see and face that we're missing the mark.
00:08:20.370 --> 00:08:33.510 Georgeann Dau: And if we're not seeing facing and owning that we're missing the mark, then we're defending against that when this team, the more and we're pointing it out word that everybody else is missing the mark. Not me.
00:08:34.110 --> 00:08:38.490 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Right, which I'll get into a little bit of exactly, you know,
00:08:40.260 --> 00:08:41.940 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Some examples of that.
00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:45.060 Georgeann Dau: Because, thank you. I'm just gonna open the window. It's very warm in here.
00:08:45.420 --> 00:08:45.840 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Go ahead.
00:08:46.980 --> 00:08:49.290 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So that was my experience with my father and then
00:08:50.460 --> 00:08:51.480 Gretchen Stubenhaus: With my mother.
00:08:53.490 --> 00:09:06.330 Gretchen Stubenhaus: She had a very big artistic personality and she was very loving had a lot of love to give but I became hers. And what I mean by that is
00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:12.810 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know she wanted me to stand over here. She would grab grab me and say, Stand over here if she wanted me to wear this. She'd say, you have to put this on.
00:09:15.030 --> 00:09:18.420 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I was very shy and so
00:09:21.300 --> 00:09:25.110 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know, an example of me being hers was kind of this
00:09:26.130 --> 00:09:29.100 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Controlled behavior where
00:09:30.210 --> 00:09:33.690 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I felt constantly controlled really, that's the best way to put it, because
00:09:34.650 --> 00:09:52.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I wouldn't want to do something, or I wouldn't want to go to a party or even just very young. I didn't want to go stand over in that corner for the picture. I just, I didn't want to. And I would be pushed into it and it came from shyness that came from shyness and so
00:09:53.730 --> 00:09:56.430 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That was a really interesting
00:09:58.710 --> 00:10:07.290 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Development to uncover and analysis because it really helped me to understand more of why I have a lot of feelings about
00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:12.600 Gretchen Stubenhaus: not trusting myself and what naturally comes to me.
00:10:12.810 --> 00:10:22.230 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, and you're pointing out something very important in good parenting. We're in your excellent parent
00:10:23.850 --> 00:10:25.200 Georgeann Dau: In good parenting.
00:10:26.430 --> 00:10:30.480 Georgeann Dau: If the child doesn't want to go and stand in the picture stand in the corner for the picture.
00:10:31.890 --> 00:10:40.110 Georgeann Dau: Of course, the parent wants a good picture. We understand that. But the child can be spoken to in a way
00:10:42.090 --> 00:10:58.590 Georgeann Dau: Hi, honey. Come on, let me bring you over here. We're going to take a picture. Mommy's right with you. Right. It's great. We're going to do this together and but what I'm what I know for working with you is that you kind of just shoved and dragged over there.
00:10:58.680 --> 00:10:59.280 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I was also
00:10:59.310 --> 00:11:00.660 Georgeann Dau: That's what you're talking about.
00:11:00.780 --> 00:11:06.240 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah, that is what I'm talking about. Thank you for, you know, specifying. It was also kind of this
00:11:08.520 --> 00:11:11.340 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And again, there's no judgment here, there was this
00:11:13.350 --> 00:11:15.240 Gretchen Stubenhaus: What's wrong with you. Go on.
00:11:15.690 --> 00:11:16.230 Right.
00:11:17.490 --> 00:11:18.420 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So that
00:11:18.450 --> 00:11:20.700 Georgeann Dau: insensitivity to who you were.
00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:32.370 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Though I grew up, and I still struggle with this thinking. Something's wrong with me. Something's wrong with me that makes me feel the things I do
00:11:33.570 --> 00:11:37.980 Gretchen Stubenhaus: As you know, my very doubtful feeler and it was like, I will must be something wrong with me.
00:11:39.060 --> 00:11:43.320 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So that was a little bit of the background of of my life growing up.
00:11:44.460 --> 00:11:45.180 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And
00:11:46.530 --> 00:11:52.230 Gretchen Stubenhaus: My mother was also bipolar, which is a big piece of everything. And, um,
00:11:53.730 --> 00:11:58.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I started struggling with understanding my own feelings very young, because
00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:10.410 Gretchen Stubenhaus: My main parents in the household was two different people and you never knew how to predict who was going to come forward and it wasn't
00:12:10.770 --> 00:12:13.530 Georgeann Dau: In regard to your mother. The two downsides of your mother.
00:12:13.860 --> 00:12:22.500 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yes. And I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. I know that that is something that people feel with alcoholics in the house or
00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:33.990 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know, people who are very reactive to stress at the workplace. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this with growing up with something like this in the household, so I'm
00:12:36.570 --> 00:12:38.400 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Fast forward I
00:12:39.450 --> 00:12:50.700 Gretchen Stubenhaus: 16 and I can feel my first bout of what feels like depression and I'm just really struggling with feeling my feelings and I had started seeing a therapist.
00:12:51.960 --> 00:12:57.390 Gretchen Stubenhaus: When I was probably around 1314 my parents had gotten divorced
00:12:58.740 --> 00:13:01.890 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I really liked it and so
00:13:02.220 --> 00:13:12.660 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Around 16 I I loved having somebody that I trusted that I could sit with that. Listen to me. I didn't feel heard in my household. So that was big for me.
00:13:13.770 --> 00:13:15.090 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I'm
00:13:16.770 --> 00:13:20.340 Georgeann Dau: And you were made to feel responsible for everyone in your household also
00:13:20.880 --> 00:13:21.270 Georgeann Dau: Right, yeah.
00:13:21.720 --> 00:13:31.770 Georgeann Dau: You know, so you really had as the oldest girl you really had no one to talk to and and turn to showing me that we're going to take a little bit of a break shortly.
00:13:33.030 --> 00:13:40.020 Georgeann Dau: So we have about one minute. So it just mentioned, because I want to continue on this. When we come back,
00:13:41.310 --> 00:13:57.270 Georgeann Dau: That you know one of the things that I love about my show is that the people that are coming on my show or here because they want to make a difference by speaking to the listeners.
00:13:58.140 --> 00:14:16.350 Georgeann Dau: By telling a story and making a difference by speaking to the listeners and maybe there's one person out there that can somehow relate this isn't about someone looking to sell a book. I'm not that there's anything wrong with that I'm bringing on a lovely woman who has written a book.
00:14:17.700 --> 00:14:27.960 Georgeann Dau: But this is really about just everyday people are wanting to share and make a difference. So I want to thank you for coming on and doing that and we're going to continue
00:14:29.040 --> 00:14:31.320 Georgeann Dau: We're, we're leaving off here, rich and I look forward to
00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:33.270 Georgeann Dau: It. So we'll be back in a moment.
00:14:33.270 --> 00:14:41.070 Georgeann Dau: To a journey through with rich and stupid house and Dr. George. And thank you for joining us. We'll be right back.
00:17:03.330 --> 00:17:05.760 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back to it takes some guts are on mute.
00:17:06.420 --> 00:17:13.020 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back to a journey through with Dr. George and Dale when Gretchen stupid else so um
00:17:16.830 --> 00:17:18.780 Georgeann Dau: It is such an important topic.
00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:21.480 Georgeann Dau: That
00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:24.990 Georgeann Dau: Everything we're brought up with
00:17:26.430 --> 00:17:28.920 Georgeann Dau: We carry with us, the rest of our life.
00:17:30.150 --> 00:17:46.530 Georgeann Dau: What we saw what we heard our perceptions. Our distortions, how we will need to feel about ourselves about others about relationships about marriage, all of it.
00:17:47.340 --> 00:18:03.480 Georgeann Dau: The opportunity here, which is why I've given my life to this work and analysis and spiritual direction and Jesus spoke about this 2000 years ago through parables. And one of the things I want to do with some point is I want to do.
00:18:06.120 --> 00:18:07.290 Georgeann Dau: A series on
00:18:09.120 --> 00:18:10.110 Georgeann Dau: Sermon on the Mount.
00:18:11.490 --> 00:18:20.070 Georgeann Dau: So you know if any of you want to send me an email about what you would be interested in hearing at
00:18:22.650 --> 00:18:35.070 Georgeann Dau: Dr. G tru.com Dr. G DOWN. CALM I be able to tell the program for you as a listener very much since I can't take calls
00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:37.710 Georgeann Dau: So,
00:18:38.820 --> 00:18:44.820 Georgeann Dau: As you were saying before, we took a break. Gretchen please I'm interested to hear what you have to say.
00:18:45.210 --> 00:18:51.960 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So I left off saying that I'd started there be younger and I enjoyed it and
00:18:54.060 --> 00:18:58.560 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I felt heard, and I felt that it was a place to process. My feelings.
00:19:01.110 --> 00:19:04.500 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But I also started developing these habits from therapy.
00:19:06.330 --> 00:19:13.500 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Which I have found to be common habits that good friends. I know. Excuse my coughing, I have asthma.
00:19:15.750 --> 00:19:34.530 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Have experienced as well with therapy, which is that there is a lot of blame that gets put on the accused. So if I say, you know, well, so and so really hurt my feelings when they did this and that. It's all they sound like terrible people
00:19:35.730 --> 00:19:35.880 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Right.
00:19:36.090 --> 00:19:38.160 Georgeann Dau: And it's not the point at all.
00:19:38.370 --> 00:19:39.540 Gretchen Stubenhaus: This can be
00:19:40.650 --> 00:19:58.800 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Very alleviating in the moment, because it's you feel vindicated. Yes, they're terrible people and, you know, and there's kind of this thrill that you walk out of there with have somebody heard me and they understand me and all of this.
00:20:00.270 --> 00:20:19.350 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But that wears off very quickly and you run into the same things in your life over and over again, which I know you always talk about and I experienced it, and I see it and so anyway I i was 16 and
00:20:19.710 --> 00:20:21.540 Georgeann Dau: We all excuse me for interrupting.
00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:23.910 Georgeann Dau: And we all will repeat
00:20:26.010 --> 00:20:38.460 Georgeann Dau: Because it's familiar. We will repeat repeat scenarios we will repeat types of relationships because it's familiar, even if it's not working.
00:20:39.030 --> 00:20:51.750 Georgeann Dau: Until in analysis and prayer, we're able to take a deeper look and see that we are in fact doing that. And then when you come to treatment and in prayer.
00:20:52.410 --> 00:21:09.510 Georgeann Dau: Were able to look at what the context is what was it that was passed down to you. What was it that you saw growing up that you are not take that you are now taking in its own shape.
00:21:10.380 --> 00:21:32.520 Georgeann Dau: And coming from in you contemporary life creating habitual attitudes FX patterns of behavior that really aren't working, but it's familiar and we need to get in there and sort of break up the heart and soil, if, if you will.
00:21:34.740 --> 00:21:36.300 Georgeann Dau: Thank you. Good, yeah.
00:21:37.680 --> 00:21:42.240 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I'm so so around 16 I ended up
00:21:44.130 --> 00:21:58.560 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Stopping therapy for a little bit because I felt like I felt this this stagnant sense of, okay, so I go and I talk about everything. And that's very alleviating and I feel better, but everything seems to be the same.
00:21:59.370 --> 00:22:03.210 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Everything seems to be the same. I'm still surrounded by the same kinds of people.
00:22:04.230 --> 00:22:06.870 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Etc. Etc. Etc. With the same feelings.
00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:08.820 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And
00:22:10.620 --> 00:22:16.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I saw a different side of my personality come out someone who was more outgoing and
00:22:17.370 --> 00:22:25.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: more outspoken. And in some ways, not so nice. I did some things to defend against my sensitivities.
00:22:27.390 --> 00:22:28.920 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That I'm
00:22:30.270 --> 00:22:44.640 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That I'm not necessarily proud of, you know, nothing extreme but things that I think that wasn't necessary and it was my way of kind of shoving reality in people's faces and it just, it really wasn't healthy
00:22:47.070 --> 00:22:47.970 Georgeann Dau: Yes, because
00:22:48.090 --> 00:22:49.080 Georgeann Dau: When we
00:22:50.280 --> 00:22:52.650 Georgeann Dau: Until we hear these places.
00:22:53.820 --> 00:23:09.390 Georgeann Dau: We we all see things as we are not as think not, as they are so not the people, but they situations. So we go through life, and we see things from what's inside of us not quote what is
00:23:10.020 --> 00:23:18.180 Georgeann Dau: Actually, in reality, and we all do this until we don't until we're able to see that we're doing it.
00:23:18.840 --> 00:23:34.500 Georgeann Dau: And that's the way through. But that's why you know of any book that sold. It's all the self help books. They're terrific. They're great. But it's not going to make any in depth permanent changes in one's life.
00:23:36.690 --> 00:23:38.220 Georgeann Dau: And perceptions
00:23:39.960 --> 00:24:02.640 Georgeann Dau: Because we need to take whatever is there and we need to walk with it through the pain through the struggle through the perception facing everything that's there. Unfortunately, that's the only real way through that I have discovered. Yeah.
00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:10.470 Georgeann Dau: And we bring, of course, God with us because we're inseparable from God. So yeah. Gretchen. Yeah, so
00:24:11.490 --> 00:24:11.880 Georgeann Dau: Good.
00:24:12.390 --> 00:24:26.130 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I was just gonna say a little bit of a little piece of kind of what I touched on earlier of kind of rejecting myself came forward and I started imagining these lives for myself that were very different than the life that I was leading
00:24:27.870 --> 00:24:48.210 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I thought that that would escape that would escape me from this pain in my chest, this pain in my heart. And so I experimented with different lifestyles and different partnerships and I finally came across something that felt right.
00:24:49.710 --> 00:25:05.190 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So I went through this whole circle years this is, you know, over eight to 10 years of rejecting myself coming all the way around. Then I was rejecting things that were good for me. I came all the way back around.
00:25:06.750 --> 00:25:09.570 Gretchen Stubenhaus: To finding a mate who I ended up marrying
00:25:11.160 --> 00:25:17.010 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Um, it was still my husband. Now, I love them very much and
00:25:19.140 --> 00:25:21.300 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It was an exact repeat
00:25:22.560 --> 00:25:25.560 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Of all of the feelings.
00:25:27.300 --> 00:25:28.590 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That I grew up with.
00:25:30.330 --> 00:25:33.990 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But instead of coming from my mother or my father.
00:25:36.870 --> 00:25:39.510 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I invited them from him.
00:25:41.760 --> 00:25:43.740 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But I didn't want to see this right
00:25:44.070 --> 00:25:44.520 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Is
00:25:44.580 --> 00:25:46.470 Georgeann Dau: What is the one hearing you say is
00:25:46.860 --> 00:25:48.540 Georgeann Dau: And this is absolutely so
00:25:51.240 --> 00:26:06.540 Georgeann Dau: We bring people into our lives that either treat us the way we retreated or allow us to treat them that way either. Or we either we either bring people into our lives, especially an intimate partner that
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:17.010 Georgeann Dau: reveals to us the family that we were brought up around and all of the feelings that we have
00:26:18.630 --> 00:26:19.200 Georgeann Dau: Or
00:26:20.250 --> 00:26:26.850 Georgeann Dau: We get involved with someone that has us doing that towards him.
00:26:27.390 --> 00:26:31.080 Georgeann Dau: Yes. And this is very tricky film listeners, but it's it's
00:26:31.800 --> 00:26:33.690 Gretchen Stubenhaus: A phenomenon, but it's a fact.
00:26:33.990 --> 00:26:41.490 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, so we either bring people into our lives that treat us the way we were treated or bring people into our lives that allow us to treat them that way.
00:26:42.030 --> 00:26:50.250 Georgeann Dau: And it's usually the best of course it's in our most intimate partner. It's either the best. It's the best and the worst of ourselves.
00:26:50.790 --> 00:27:03.870 Georgeann Dau: And, you know, patients have, you know, will say to me, you know, I absolutely never going to marry an alcohol like never get involved with one I my mother was one. My father was boys about
00:27:04.410 --> 00:27:20.220 Georgeann Dau: And then we'll stop treatment and I'll see them 10 years later, and guess what they married an alcoholic. Because what's in our unconscious. We live out of until it is not unconscious anymore.
00:27:21.420 --> 00:27:38.520 Georgeann Dau: It is such an incredible phenomena and this is why I am so committed to working with people to help them awaken to these truths for their own specific, unique journey because everyone has a unique specific
00:27:39.540 --> 00:27:49.680 Georgeann Dau: Journey. There's no cookie cutter and um yeah there's no cookie cutter. It's going to be different for everyone and
00:27:51.540 --> 00:27:54.060 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, so, um,
00:27:56.070 --> 00:27:56.280 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah.
00:27:56.310 --> 00:27:57.510 Georgeann Dau: Now that you're a parent.
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:00.480 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah.
00:28:00.510 --> 00:28:15.210 Georgeann Dau: So I, I watch you, and I mean everything that you were brought up around all the points you mentioned how you were parented how mom and dad were with you. God bless them. We love them and they did the absolute best they could.
00:28:17.310 --> 00:28:34.710 Georgeann Dau: In the wilderness that we all have and take on from our upbringing. Now that in many ways it's been exposed and work through and you treatment, which is such a privilege to work with you. Gretchen that
00:28:37.350 --> 00:28:38.550 Georgeann Dau: Breaking that
00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:43.140 Georgeann Dau: Pattern of that passed down original sin.
00:28:43.410 --> 00:28:43.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Mm hmm.
00:28:44.040 --> 00:28:46.110 Georgeann Dau: What would you say are
00:28:47.280 --> 00:28:52.500 Georgeann Dau: Your biggest challenges as a parent and your most changed.
00:28:54.060 --> 00:29:02.520 Georgeann Dau: The biggest change within yourself, giving you now the incredible ability to be the wonderful mother that you want, because you are
00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:06.060 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So,
00:29:08.550 --> 00:29:11.550 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I'd say the biggest challenge.
00:29:13.350 --> 00:29:14.880 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Would probably be
00:29:17.040 --> 00:29:25.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That in order to feel comfortable in my environment as a child, I decided to
00:29:27.240 --> 00:29:37.980 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I didn't decide I was, I kind of developed this ability to control my surroundings. So when you have a child.
00:29:39.600 --> 00:29:51.390 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That's impossible. It's impossible unless you're doing really unhealthy things and and and it's it's not a good idea to raise a child if you're going to maintain that. So, um,
00:29:51.510 --> 00:29:54.120 Georgeann Dau: You like you were brought up around that you will control.
00:29:54.180 --> 00:29:55.260 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You feel is really
00:29:55.290 --> 00:29:56.460 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Controlled you
00:29:56.490 --> 00:30:01.980 Georgeann Dau: weren't allowed to be the sensitive child that you were
00:30:02.250 --> 00:30:04.230 Georgeann Dau: Young, I always found interesting.
00:30:05.310 --> 00:30:09.510 Georgeann Dau: We have children, and then we expect them to behave like adults.
00:30:10.470 --> 00:30:14.790 Georgeann Dau: Yes, expect them to know we expect them to show up.
00:30:15.090 --> 00:30:16.170 Georgeann Dau: In a certain way.
00:30:16.230 --> 00:30:17.430 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Don't make a mess.
00:30:17.610 --> 00:30:19.860 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, it's really quite something.
00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:20.460 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But yeah
00:30:20.610 --> 00:30:21.450 Georgeann Dau: Anyway, I'm sorry.
00:30:21.630 --> 00:30:23.610 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It's my dad your shoes on backwards.
00:30:24.120 --> 00:30:24.450 Right.
00:30:26.190 --> 00:30:28.650 Georgeann Dau: It's yeah yeah yeah
00:30:28.890 --> 00:30:30.060 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So, um,
00:30:33.870 --> 00:30:34.920 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Excuse me, so
00:30:36.600 --> 00:30:43.650 Gretchen Stubenhaus: My daughter, you know, I was able to maintain a certain amount of control when she was born. We
00:30:44.310 --> 00:30:46.260 Georgeann Dau: Have to hang here, we have to take a break.
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:46.950 Georgeann Dau: I'm sorry.
00:30:47.160 --> 00:30:52.710 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, you don't do well with understanding when we need to take these breaks so I'm always cutting into people.
00:30:53.940 --> 00:30:54.270 Georgeann Dau: That
00:30:54.450 --> 00:30:55.230 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Will take up
00:30:55.350 --> 00:31:04.890 Georgeann Dau: We'll be right back. We'll be right back to the journey through. Thank you. Thank you for listening to talk radio NYC.
00:33:28.080 --> 00:33:33.390 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back to a journey through the talk to George and Dale and Gretchen stupider
00:33:34.860 --> 00:33:35.820 Georgeann Dau: So we will we
00:33:37.380 --> 00:33:42.030 Gretchen Stubenhaus: We were talking about parenting and
00:33:43.530 --> 00:33:49.140 Gretchen Stubenhaus: The challenges of having a child that you can't control and
00:33:52.260 --> 00:33:58.140 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Especially when you have what I have inside of me, which is the desire to control everything around me.
00:33:59.070 --> 00:34:01.860 Georgeann Dau: The desire to control, just for our listeners.
00:34:02.100 --> 00:34:04.050 Georgeann Dau: The desire to control
00:34:05.730 --> 00:34:06.540 Gretchen Stubenhaus: What does it look like
00:34:07.350 --> 00:34:13.230 Georgeann Dau: Outwardly generally is when we feel out of control inwardly.
00:34:13.890 --> 00:34:30.870 Georgeann Dau: So if we feel that we need to keep things straight and don't have things a certain way all the time. It's generally that we haven't been we're not really in touch with what's going on inside of ourselves and we're having a lot of feelings in anxiety that we feel we can't control.
00:34:32.190 --> 00:34:34.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yes, and there was something very
00:34:37.140 --> 00:34:40.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: addictive and settling about being able to
00:34:41.820 --> 00:34:44.880 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Make sure there was never male sitting out that wasn't, you know,
00:34:44.910 --> 00:34:47.970 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Mills and more paid out all of that had to be controlled.
00:34:48.390 --> 00:35:02.550 Georgeann Dau: And you use it. Well, see, there's nothing wrong with that. It's, it's, it's not that there's anything wrong with any of this. It's about, we need to just ask ourselves to our life. What's going on.
00:35:03.150 --> 00:35:16.500 Georgeann Dau: Sure. What's going on, and isn't working for me is my life working is the way I'm showing up working is the way I'm reacting in my life situations working or my relationships working
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:18.720 Yeah.
00:35:19.950 --> 00:35:21.390 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So, um,
00:35:23.070 --> 00:35:31.050 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So there was obviously a lot going on for me, which is why I need, I need to feel that structure in my environment, but
00:35:33.930 --> 00:35:41.850 Gretchen Stubenhaus: When you have a child when I had a child. First, I had a challenge in pregnancy and then I had a challenging delivery.
00:35:43.650 --> 00:35:55.800 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I had a lot of self judgment, again, based on you know my background lot of self judgment that I'd failed. I'm really upset.
00:35:56.250 --> 00:35:58.200 Georgeann Dau: So, and this was before coven
00:35:58.560 --> 00:36:11.340 Georgeann Dau: Yes, I'm Gretchen's baby. Her name's centering she's going to be two years old in two weeks or a week, two weeks and when Gretchen would come to her sessions.
00:36:12.420 --> 00:36:27.750 Georgeann Dau: I would, we would put our hands on Gretchen's Tommy her belly and we would pray and we did this really for nine months. And this child is so peaceful and so loving
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:29.070 Georgeann Dau: And so happy.
00:36:29.580 --> 00:36:36.720 Georgeann Dau: It is she's an angel. She's an angel truly she's just a beautiful, beautiful little human being.
00:36:38.610 --> 00:36:39.090 Georgeann Dau: Anyway,
00:36:39.510 --> 00:36:43.410 Gretchen Stubenhaus: She is delicious. She so sensitive and and kind
00:36:43.830 --> 00:36:45.030 Georgeann Dau: She's a mini Gretchen.
00:36:46.500 --> 00:36:48.750 Gretchen Stubenhaus: She just she warms my heart so
00:36:52.050 --> 00:36:52.800 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So,
00:36:53.910 --> 00:37:06.390 Gretchen Stubenhaus: When once I was fully introduced to this motherhood, she was here, it was happening or doing this. I'm breastfeeding. She lives in my room or cohabitate and here we go.
00:37:09.930 --> 00:37:11.730 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I did not sleep.
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:14.340 Georgeann Dau: This is an injury. Can we see it.
00:37:14.430 --> 00:37:15.210 Yes.
00:37:18.090 --> 00:37:19.590 Georgeann Dau: No, I can't do it. I wanted to
00:37:20.100 --> 00:37:21.210 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Oh, they're a little bit
00:37:21.510 --> 00:37:23.790 Georgeann Dau: Little bit that century.
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:28.230 Once again, sorry.
00:37:29.550 --> 00:37:33.120 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So don't apologize. So
00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:44.010 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know, I, I didn't have time for anything is my point and that I had to release that control and it was very frustrating for me at first, and I'm
00:37:45.090 --> 00:37:59.670 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I'm still working on it because, you know, a little secret. Here I'm pregnant again your am and I'm only a couple months along but I'm struggling, again, you know, I've got morning sickness and all those things and
00:38:00.930 --> 00:38:06.210 Gretchen Stubenhaus: The house is a little messy and there's mail that hasn't been opened, and there are
00:38:06.690 --> 00:38:24.690 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Dry good groceries that haven't been put away or maybe some things in the wrong spot, not where I would put it, or you know the bed isn't being made. The way I would make it or whatever, just stupid little things that really have no weight on how well my life is going
00:38:27.030 --> 00:38:28.020 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Do you want to say something.
00:38:28.170 --> 00:38:29.610 Georgeann Dau: No has a someone
00:38:33.720 --> 00:38:38.220 Georgeann Dau: They are saying some that someone's in my chat. I don't know what that means I'm
00:38:38.220 --> 00:38:39.330 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Sorry. Oh.
00:38:40.260 --> 00:38:40.680 Georgeann Dau: But
00:38:40.980 --> 00:38:42.900 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Anyway, I'm going to ask you a question.
00:38:44.670 --> 00:38:57.930 Georgeann Dau: I don't know, but I'd love to take a question if we can. I'm not quite sure. I've never had that come up before, but, um, I just want to preface to our listeners that I'm
00:39:00.120 --> 00:39:07.650 Georgeann Dau: All feelings are acceptable. What I'm hearing Gretchen talk about is that the feeling she has of a need to control
00:39:08.700 --> 00:39:10.470 Georgeann Dau: Her feelings of frustration.
00:39:12.750 --> 00:39:15.120 Georgeann Dau: She's handling all of those feelings. Now,
00:39:15.570 --> 00:39:28.710 Georgeann Dau: Yes, he's having them and she's, she's dealing with them instead of dealing with them. And the way they those types of things were dealt with towards her by her parents
00:39:29.160 --> 00:39:33.720 Georgeann Dau: Which is what treatment. How would you have handled it. Yeah.
00:39:33.780 --> 00:39:36.720 Georgeann Dau: That's a great anyway for treatment. Now would you have handled it.
00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:39.390 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So it would have been
00:39:40.440 --> 00:39:41.310 Gretchen Stubenhaus: nitpicking.
00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:46.260 Gretchen Stubenhaus: On the people that are closest to me like the people that live in my home, my husband.
00:39:47.490 --> 00:39:48.000 Georgeann Dau: Maybe
00:39:48.630 --> 00:39:49.170 nagging
00:39:50.310 --> 00:39:56.850 Gretchen Stubenhaus: nagging, for example, here's a perfect example. You're going to see a little bit of my craziness here.
00:39:59.700 --> 00:40:03.270 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It was very windy night last night. Did you hear the howling
00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:04.470 Georgeann Dau: Yes, I did.
00:40:04.950 --> 00:40:08.520 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So, uh, here in New York, so
00:40:10.380 --> 00:40:20.220 Gretchen Stubenhaus: We had to take down the umbrellas that we have in the yard because otherwise they end up crashing into a window. So, and we've had it happen a couple times so
00:40:21.060 --> 00:40:31.380 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Instead of putting them in the so my husband, you know, strong can handle this. So he does the manly things in the house and I appreciate that so much. We went to get them any place them under the piano.
00:40:32.460 --> 00:40:32.940 Gretchen Stubenhaus: In that
00:40:34.020 --> 00:40:36.990 Gretchen Stubenhaus: In that in the grand room.
00:40:37.020 --> 00:40:39.720 Georgeann Dau: Whatever you would call it with with
00:40:39.810 --> 00:40:40.950 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Outdoor umbrellas.
00:40:41.670 --> 00:40:42.300 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Don't we like.
00:40:43.230 --> 00:40:44.340 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Bugs and spider.
00:40:44.340 --> 00:40:44.850 Gretchen Stubenhaus: webs and
00:40:46.230 --> 00:40:47.430 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Just bring it in house.
00:40:48.240 --> 00:40:55.470 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And we normally keep these things in the basement. So I want to go. What are you doing, and just keep walking that way.
00:40:57.360 --> 00:41:04.170 Gretchen Stubenhaus: But the fact of the matter is, he's being so incredibly helpful right now with our almost two year old when I can hardly do anything.
00:41:04.710 --> 00:41:06.000 Georgeann Dau: And look, goodness.
00:41:06.210 --> 00:41:19.950 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That's not going to make my life better to nag on him make him then miserable resent me not do the best job that he could with our daughter, maybe get snappy with her because it gets passed down, there's a
00:41:19.950 --> 00:41:20.790 Georgeann Dau: trickle down effect.
00:41:21.720 --> 00:41:23.070 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Of negativity and
00:41:24.180 --> 00:41:25.110 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It just
00:41:26.310 --> 00:41:28.770 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah, I mean I could go on and on about that both
00:41:28.770 --> 00:41:30.300 Georgeann Dau: Did a great job. Yeah.
00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:31.560 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So,
00:41:31.650 --> 00:41:32.370 You know,
00:41:33.720 --> 00:41:47.910 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Analysis really has been such a gift, and we were talking earlier about it being a generational gift because now I can raise Sandrine with knowing these things about myself.
00:41:50.850 --> 00:41:55.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: trying my best, which I, I hope I do a pretty good job that
00:41:56.460 --> 00:41:58.020 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You do at catching
00:41:58.230 --> 00:42:05.640 Georgeann Dau: Yourself. You've changed yourself a lot. And when I say that not that you needed to change because there was anything wrong.
00:42:06.150 --> 00:42:23.100 Georgeann Dau: I hearing. We do is we scrape away the false self, the guest last week loves the expression peeling back the onion peeling back that which was put into us.
00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:28.560 Georgeann Dau: That which we saw growing up that wasn't great.
00:42:29.940 --> 00:42:44.220 Georgeann Dau: The distortions, the perceptions that weren't great so that we get to the kernel of who we are as the true human being. God made us to be which is a piece of God.
00:42:45.570 --> 00:42:50.490 Georgeann Dau: We are each a walking piece of the Christ.
00:42:50.970 --> 00:42:52.080 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Which is love.
00:42:52.500 --> 00:42:53.130 Georgeann Dau: That's right.
00:42:53.190 --> 00:42:54.900 Georgeann Dau: Which is lunch. Yeah.
00:42:55.710 --> 00:42:57.240 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Honesty. Yeah.
00:42:58.170 --> 00:43:06.000 Georgeann Dau: So that I just want to preface it that that it's really, um, you know, we're not we're not you know we're not treating a
00:43:07.710 --> 00:43:20.910 Georgeann Dau: disease or disorder and you know we are scraping away the falsities that we all were brought up with to believe we're the way, the truth and the life of battle live
00:43:22.110 --> 00:43:45.090 Georgeann Dau: And it wasn't, it was just passed down trauma distortions Original Sin missing the mark missing the mark of what missing the mark of what it means to have a really good life to live a full whole life filled with love, compassion, empathy and joy and I'm
00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:46.860 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah.
00:43:47.910 --> 00:43:51.780 Gretchen Stubenhaus: You know, I just want to touch on something while we're here,
00:43:52.590 --> 00:43:52.980 Yes.
00:43:55.740 --> 00:43:57.840 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It almost left me where to go.
00:43:59.790 --> 00:44:00.570 Gretchen Stubenhaus: About
00:44:02.310 --> 00:44:08.010 Gretchen Stubenhaus: What did you just say you were just talking about how we give, I don't know. I lost it.
00:44:09.390 --> 00:44:15.120 Georgeann Dau: We or a piece of the Christ. We're all a piece and you said, which is love and empathy.
00:44:15.900 --> 00:44:23.940 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yes. Ah, I remember you and I have talked about this, and it's something I always go back to in my head that were a vacuum.
00:44:25.800 --> 00:44:28.260 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I think to myself, I imagine a vacuum.
00:44:30.240 --> 00:44:34.650 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I always like to explain this to someone who doesn't fully understand analysis. What is it you know
00:44:35.910 --> 00:44:39.000 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So analysis is to me the understanding
00:44:39.210 --> 00:44:41.310 Georgeann Dau: That telling me that we need to take a break.
00:44:41.520 --> 00:44:41.880 Oh,
00:44:43.050 --> 00:44:44.910 Georgeann Dau: Hold this. This is important.
00:44:44.940 --> 00:44:47.160 Georgeann Dau: But wait a minute.
00:44:47.520 --> 00:44:50.520 Georgeann Dau: I'm gonna own it. I'm not doing a good job with you. It is tonight.
00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:57.600 Georgeann Dau: I'm going to take a break. We'll be right back to a journey through with Gretchen stupid. Thank you.
00:47:20.760 --> 00:47:30.540 Georgeann Dau: Welcome back to the journey through. I'm Dr. George and when we're here with Gretchen stupid else so you were talking about something very important. Go ahead.
00:47:31.530 --> 00:47:41.700 Gretchen Stubenhaus: So I was talking about the vacuum that we're all back him. This is something you know this, this isn't my my creations is something you you shared with me and
00:47:42.810 --> 00:47:50.520 Gretchen Stubenhaus: really clicked for me and I thought it was a good way to explain to someone who didn't fully understand analysis.
00:47:51.060 --> 00:48:01.050 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And the gifts that it gives you know because we can go through our experience and what what we've unraveled but until you really go through it. It's difficult to kind of understand
00:48:02.490 --> 00:48:04.770 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Right. The journey so I'm
00:48:04.860 --> 00:48:12.630 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Literally, I like to. I like to give the analogy of the vacuum. So we are each a vacuum and when you imagine a vacuum.
00:48:13.950 --> 00:48:20.340 Gretchen Stubenhaus: It's got this tube and it sucks up everything. And when you look in the bag. What's in the bag is what it sucked up
00:48:22.140 --> 00:48:26.280 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Nothing else is in the back your shoes, not in the bag.
00:48:27.930 --> 00:48:29.550 Gretchen Stubenhaus: His teeth aren't in the bag.
00:48:32.040 --> 00:48:34.020 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Only what it sucked up is in the back.
00:48:35.370 --> 00:48:36.150 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And
00:48:38.010 --> 00:48:48.120 Gretchen Stubenhaus: As vacuums we suck up every single little thing we picked up from the moment were born or as you would say even in utero.
00:48:48.510 --> 00:48:51.960 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Absolutely feelings of our carrier of whoever
00:48:52.590 --> 00:48:53.880 Georgeann Dau: Whose name is
00:48:56.670 --> 00:49:01.230 Gretchen Stubenhaus: We pick it all up and it maintains in this vacuum.
00:49:02.460 --> 00:49:03.960 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And as we get older.
00:49:05.610 --> 00:49:09.540 Gretchen Stubenhaus: We behave out of only what we have in there.
00:49:10.530 --> 00:49:27.630 Gretchen Stubenhaus: That's great. That's all we have. That's all we have. So you look at people's different personality types and oh she always seemed so happy. And he always, you know, gets nervous and you know you can name all the differences in us human beings. If you trace it back.
00:49:31.470 --> 00:49:32.820 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Yeah, I'll make sense.
00:49:33.180 --> 00:49:47.160 Georgeann Dau: Yes, absolutely right, you trace it back and the way in which the child was made to feel about themselves. Yeah. All along the path of their upbringing. Yes, it's
00:49:48.120 --> 00:49:49.320 Georgeann Dau: It sets forth
00:49:50.490 --> 00:49:55.590 Georgeann Dau: A personality and character traits, without question, yeah.
00:49:56.250 --> 00:50:02.010 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, that's great. That's really great. And, you know, we are born with the soul.
00:50:03.420 --> 00:50:03.930 Georgeann Dau: And
00:50:05.550 --> 00:50:08.070 Georgeann Dau: At the time of conception.
00:50:09.930 --> 00:50:15.810 Georgeann Dau: Were given the seed of God, and we come from love, and
00:50:17.100 --> 00:50:20.760 Georgeann Dau: I'll never forget that sister joy told me that story.
00:50:21.810 --> 00:50:23.370 Georgeann Dau: One of the nuns when I was
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:34.050 Georgeann Dau: At the cynical. I was an affiliate with the cynical sisters and she told a great story where there was a family. They had a
00:50:35.550 --> 00:50:52.020 Georgeann Dau: Two and a half, three year old and she had another baby and the little toddler always wanted to go in the crib with the infant and they were very, very concerned because the child is really insistent about going in the crib with the baby.
00:50:53.160 --> 00:51:06.540 Georgeann Dau: And so they they agreed to, to do that, but they put up the cameras and they listened and they heard the toddler say to I never told you this Gretchen.
00:51:06.870 --> 00:51:16.050 Georgeann Dau: Be dead. A they heard the toddler say to the newborn. Tell me quick about God, I'm starting to forget.
00:51:17.460 --> 00:51:18.000 Georgeann Dau: And
00:51:19.050 --> 00:51:30.570 Georgeann Dau: That just gave me the chills at the time, and it's so incredible that you know we we come from God. We are totally pure and
00:51:31.740 --> 00:51:37.410 Georgeann Dau: We're a sponge and we take in all the love all the goodness all the
00:51:39.330 --> 00:51:42.600 Georgeann Dau: Everything good and everything that's
00:51:44.310 --> 00:51:47.790 Georgeann Dau: Of our upbringing and there's a mishmash of both
00:51:49.200 --> 00:51:59.430 Georgeann Dau: The dysfunction, the love, the, the, the goodness that caring. You know the story of the two worlds and we live out of that.
00:52:01.980 --> 00:52:03.420 Georgeann Dau: We live out of that.
00:52:04.470 --> 00:52:10.500 Georgeann Dau: Line hold all of our lives blindly blindly and the purpose of
00:52:11.730 --> 00:52:20.610 Georgeann Dau: Psycho spirituality psychoanalytical spirituality, which is what I've given my life to through God's grace.
00:52:23.190 --> 00:52:31.560 Georgeann Dau: You know, I was always made to feel very bad about myself, growing up. And so I kept on going to school and earning all these degrees.
00:52:32.010 --> 00:52:43.050 Georgeann Dau: But when I really think back and I spoke about the says at the first show we had that God had given me this gift.
00:52:43.710 --> 00:52:57.900 Georgeann Dau: And tooled me from for this work from the time I was a little girl. I'm so that's what makes me good at what I do not old schooling and not any of the degrees and God tools us
00:52:58.980 --> 00:53:16.200 Georgeann Dau: And gifts us with what we need to do the ministry. The work that God made us to do here on the earth plane. God has given each of us work to do and has gifted us what we need to do that work.
00:53:17.430 --> 00:53:20.430 Georgeann Dau: Um, so just incredible.
00:53:21.450 --> 00:53:22.620 Georgeann Dau: So, um,
00:53:24.420 --> 00:53:32.430 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, there is. There's a lot to say here, and we can certainly pick this up. You want to come on with me next week.
00:53:33.600 --> 00:53:43.020 Georgeann Dau: To would you good so rock CONTINUE THIS WILL CONTINUE THIS NEXT WEEK. But before we begin to end, um,
00:53:48.960 --> 00:53:50.160 Georgeann Dau: What makes
00:53:52.350 --> 00:54:00.030 Georgeann Dau: Where you are as a parent, we have actually one minute to talk about this. What makes where you are, as a parent,
00:54:03.120 --> 00:54:09.600 Georgeann Dau: So helpful through analysis. And where do you hope to improve
00:54:10.890 --> 00:54:13.320 Georgeann Dau: Or put you on the right one. We
00:54:13.530 --> 00:54:15.450 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Hope to improve really
00:54:20.850 --> 00:54:33.120 Gretchen Stubenhaus: Okay, I'm going to say this and not so many words. So in my upbringing in my house, my father was the enemy and my mother was the victim and
00:54:34.020 --> 00:54:50.310 Gretchen Stubenhaus: I need to work on the subconscious thoughts that go on in my head, I'm in co parenting with my husband. I'm get this off my screen here. That would probably be my biggest challenge.
00:54:50.610 --> 00:55:00.990 Georgeann Dau: That is so powerful because I'm just saying that you become aware of that won't. Yeah, you become aware of that room. That is huge.
00:55:01.080 --> 00:55:10.380 Georgeann Dau: Yeah, once with, you know, all through Scripture. Um, if someone can be can be for Jesus and needed something they had to name it.
00:55:10.740 --> 00:55:19.320 Georgeann Dau: They had to name it and claim it so that God could help them with it. It is only through our awareness that we can journey through
00:55:19.680 --> 00:55:33.570 Georgeann Dau: Into the wound and journey through through it and once we get to the other side we have transformation and resurrection. So, let us end tonight and with prayer Gretchen. I can't thank you enough. And I look forward
00:55:33.930 --> 00:55:35.160 Gretchen Stubenhaus: To my challenger
00:55:35.460 --> 00:55:37.410 Georgeann Dau: To us being together next week.
00:55:38.430 --> 00:55:40.350 Georgeann Dau: So let us end in prayer.
00:55:43.770 --> 00:55:45.300 Georgeann Dau: Oh god oh great love
00:55:46.410 --> 00:55:57.360 Georgeann Dau: We thank you for living and loving in us and through us may all that we do flow from our deep connection with you and all beings.
00:55:57.990 --> 00:56:07.800 Georgeann Dau: Help us to become a better community that shares vulnerable vulnerable. A with each other in their burdens.
00:56:08.640 --> 00:56:31.740 Georgeann Dau: So we can carry each other's weight with love and glory. Help us to recognize that we walk this Earth with you you in us, us in you and us in one another and knowing that you are hearing us better than we are speaking we offer these prayers in all the holy names of God.
00:56:32.910 --> 00:56:47.340 Georgeann Dau: Amen. And God I ask your blessing upon all those listening and on Gretchen and her family and I give you great thanks that you always teach us each moment we breathe to learn how to love.
00:56:48.570 --> 00:56:49.080 Georgeann Dau: Amen.
00:56:50.310 --> 00:56:53.760 Georgeann Dau: Amen, and God bless. Thank you so much.
00:56:54.750 --> 00:56:57.420 Gretchen Stubenhaus: And I look forward to having me.
00:56:58.170 --> 00:56:58.950 Always
00:57:00.210 --> 00:57:12.990 Georgeann Dau: We'll do we'll do another nother show next week. Thank you everyone for joining us tonight and again www.dr Dr. G.
00:57:14.040 --> 00:57:24.000 Georgeann Dau: Da u.com if you want to send me any messages and we hope that you'll join us next week. Thank you very much for joining us tonight and good night.