We'll be exploring our Influence on others and why word of mouth is so important and effective to every day business life.
Teresa de Grosbois is the #1 International Bestselling Author of “Mass Influence - The Habits of the Highly Influential”, which is now a Bestseller in 7 countries. A 4X International Bestselling Author, Teresa teaches marketing courses around the globe to business leaders and entrepreneurs on how to create massively successful word of mouth campaigns.
Graham welcomes Teresa de Grosbois, the #1 International Bestselling Author of “Mass Influence - The Habits of the Highly Influential”. Teresa talks about her transformation in career and how she discovered using the skills of influence. Graham asks Teresa whether some of the challenges in her life inspired her more to pursue her dreams. Teresa talks about our inner ego’s, how we invented it and how that makes us. She closes this segment how talking with our “inner child” is healthy and can inspire us to who we are today.
Teresa opens this segment talking about moving in the direction of the things you love and how one milestone helps motivate you for others. They further dive into Teresa’s book “Mass Influence” and her motivation behind it. Graham asks Teresa the difference between influence and manipulation. They further discuss the definition of charismatic and what it means. In closing they talk about how flaws are a double edged sword with how they help us and hurt us.
In this segment Grahams and Teresa dive further into her book “Mass Influence” and what it’s about, why it’s popular, etc. Teresa mentions the core of being influential is giving which provides influence back to yourself. Graham asks Teresa what are some mistakes leaders make when it comes to building influence. Teresa further discusses reciprocity and how that is important to building influence.
They open this segment talking about the evolutionary business council. They further discuss the evolution of the council and how it was further inspired. Teresa talks further about our inner dialogue and how it hinders us and motivates us. They close with Graham asking what are the first steps into people accepting themselves and finding their influence to which Teresa invites listeners to her 30 day influence challenge.
00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:36.030 Graham Dobbin: Welcome to the mind behind leadership line on talk radio dot NYC from New York this evening.
00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:45.180 Graham Dobbin: My name is Graham Dobbin and every week we explore different aspects of leadership and, more importantly, the practical application of how it's used.
00:00:45.570 --> 00:00:50.550 Graham Dobbin: And what is real leadership really look like habits apply to every day business and life.
00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:56.970 Graham Dobbin: So over the last few weeks we've explored the world the sport with Carmen bought Brendan Doyle and Duncan smiley
00:00:57.390 --> 00:01:08.070 Graham Dobbin: We've spoken with your heart, the CEO and president of Dale Carnegie and the custodian and one of the biggest selling business books of all time. How to Win Friends and Influence People with a New York
00:01:08.610 --> 00:01:16.560 Graham Dobbin: Times bestselling author might Macedonia and also the world's leading authority on behavioral styles. Dr. Tony Alessandro
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:26.220 Graham Dobbin: All of these shows that are available catch up at talk radio dot NYC along with many others tonight. We've hit the jackpot again.
00:01:26.730 --> 00:01:34.650 Graham Dobbin: And a large part of leadership is about how we influence people and I'm delighted to welcome to reserve the global
00:01:35.040 --> 00:01:45.810 Graham Dobbin: Who is the number one international best selling author of mass influence the habits of the highly influential which is no a best seller in seven different countries.
00:01:46.110 --> 00:01:56.160 Graham Dobbin: As the founder and chair of the evolutionary Business Council three is a works with people around the world, wanting to create grassroots change in communities and businesses.
00:01:56.520 --> 00:02:10.050 Graham Dobbin: As a four time best selling author trees are also believes that we can shift the thinking of society, just by understanding how to generate the spread of positive word of mouth. Theresa. Good evening.
00:02:10.530 --> 00:02:12.300 Teresa de Grosbois: Good evening. Thank you for having me here.
00:02:12.750 --> 00:02:20.640 Graham Dobbin: Great to have you. I'm, I'm the evolutionary Business Council a best selling author, where did this all begin
00:02:21.930 --> 00:02:36.030 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, that's a great question because I certainly couldn't have imagined this life 10 years ago before, it all started you know we all, we always have this vision in this plan for our life. And then there's the universe's plan for you that you don't know right
00:02:37.500 --> 00:02:44.520 Teresa de Grosbois: You know 15 years ago I was still working in the oil and gas industry in Canada and and really wanted
00:02:45.840 --> 00:03:01.620 Teresa de Grosbois: To honor my own drive to do something different to give back to the world, you know, and I had what I affectionately call a really bad year, you know, in the first six months of that you're my father had died my marriage had fallen apart my business had failed.
00:03:02.670 --> 00:03:06.330 Teresa de Grosbois: And I had a real come to Jesus moment where I remember I was sitting
00:03:07.350 --> 00:03:21.240 Teresa de Grosbois: On the floor of my post marriage breakup condo in tears. One night, looking at all the tools around me because I was, you know, I've always been a renovator I was going to renovate that bathroom. And my only thought in my head was it's me that needs renovating
00:03:22.290 --> 00:03:27.510 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, and that was one of the best moments I've ever had in my life because it was the moment in which I made a commitment.
00:03:28.230 --> 00:03:30.480 Teresa de Grosbois: That I was gonna be my next project.
00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:43.710 Teresa de Grosbois: And and I was just going to lean in to what I really should be doing in life, not what everybody else told me I should be doing that, you know, the high powered job the six figure income, the nice house all that stuff right that society would teach this is what we should want
00:03:44.520 --> 00:03:52.050 Teresa de Grosbois: And, you know, so within a year of that day I had radically shifted my life I had
00:03:53.190 --> 00:04:01.380 Teresa de Grosbois: Left the industry. I was working in. I started being running a charity, I became a children's author, because I always write written poetry.
00:04:02.460 --> 00:04:07.110 Teresa de Grosbois: I really very quickly learned that I didn't love writing running a charity or being a children's author
00:04:08.670 --> 00:04:09.750 Teresa de Grosbois: But I am
00:04:10.920 --> 00:04:20.280 Teresa de Grosbois: In service of the charity, I had written three kids books and quickly put them on the bestseller list and that had people coming at me and drove saying wow three bestsellers in eight months.
00:04:20.850 --> 00:04:27.510 Teresa de Grosbois: How did you do that. Theresa when you show me how and. And that was sort of the period in which I realized
00:04:27.990 --> 00:04:36.270 Teresa de Grosbois: I had been using and learning the skills have influenced my whole life. But like fish don't know what water is. We often don't know what we're really good at.
00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:51.630 Teresa de Grosbois: Till other people come banging on our door asking us to teach them, you know, and that was really the start of the current path. I'm on where I really started helping people understand how does influence where it kind of word of mouth epidemics work and the rest is history. As they said
00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:54.990 Graham Dobbin: Watch over say epidemics nowadays. But yeah, absolutely.
00:04:56.820 --> 00:05:14.370 Graham Dobbin: I'm curious on you seem to kind of got to that point and and you realize that this was this was a kind of a changing point for you in your life. How soon did you realize you said you know you're in the bathroom, Florida. This was it for what was the evolution of that happening.
00:05:15.390 --> 00:05:25.950 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, I think that was the moment I had decided I had to really start looking at improving my own life. And so what I did was I leaned in. I love that quote
00:05:26.400 --> 00:05:31.080 Teresa de Grosbois: From from Jennifer Hoffman Sheryl Sandberg talks about it too. In her book and
00:05:31.890 --> 00:05:38.310 Teresa de Grosbois: Like the notion of if you don't know where you should be going do whatever makes sense. Next, you know,
00:05:38.550 --> 00:05:47.430 Teresa de Grosbois: So I started just getting a lot more serious about my meditation and my yoga and my health. I went and did a whole certificate mediation, because I've always been a conflict avoider and
00:05:47.910 --> 00:05:49.800 Teresa de Grosbois: I figured that might help if I sat in rooms.
00:05:49.800 --> 00:05:52.680 Teresa de Grosbois: Full of conflict that I might learn how to not be a conflict avoider
00:05:53.910 --> 00:06:00.570 Teresa de Grosbois: But then, you know, I started over the first three or four months that keeps saying I gotta quit my job and do something more meaningful.
00:06:01.470 --> 00:06:09.150 Teresa de Grosbois: And this is where you really find out whether the quality of your friends because some friends will say to you.
00:06:09.960 --> 00:06:22.980 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, don't give up a great pension or, you know, don't give up a six figure income. Oh my god, you're single mom how responsible. Would that be and other friends will turn to you and say, So what are you going to do that. Teresa.
00:06:24.390 --> 00:06:34.080 Teresa de Grosbois: And and those are the friends that are worth gold, you know, the ones that show you that you're not following your heart, because the reality is
00:06:35.010 --> 00:06:45.480 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, our dreams are actually where we're most powerful in the world, you know, and yet they're the scariest things to us right our dreams are scarier to us than they than anything else, because
00:06:45.840 --> 00:06:58.140 Teresa de Grosbois: They're your dreams, they're freaking huge, you know, but when you think about it. Nobody's better hardwired to pursue your dream, especially your dream of really giving back and making some kind of meaningful contribution to the world.
00:06:58.830 --> 00:07:05.790 Teresa de Grosbois: Then you are because you're more passionate about it, you're going to have more tenacity and achieving it.
00:07:06.180 --> 00:07:11.760 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, don't give your dream to someone who doesn't care about it as much as you, they won't have the same level of success.
00:07:12.330 --> 00:07:21.030 Teresa de Grosbois: So I really, to this day, I'm so grateful for all those friends that said, When are you going to do that. Teresa because they were the ones that kicked me out the door.
00:07:22.380 --> 00:07:37.290 Graham Dobbin: Is actually I'm speaking with someone today. I know it's as most people know in here that I do some business consultancy and I'll always say that the the trophies are really almost easy to talk about and have so always the bruises.
00:07:38.250 --> 00:07:46.110 Graham Dobbin: That you feel that actually give us more life experience. I'm wondering if you if you feel that you would be as driven. If you haven't got to that point.
00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:57.000 Teresa de Grosbois: Absolutely not. You know, I, I don't think we're successful in spite of the challenges we've had, I think we're successful because of the challenges we've had, you know,
00:07:58.710 --> 00:08:03.720 Teresa de Grosbois: When you're in a great life that you love, there's no motivation to change.
00:08:05.220 --> 00:08:18.540 Teresa de Grosbois: But when you suddenly realize, hmm. You know, I, I did everything society told me to. I go to university degrees I pursued the corporate ladder. I got the great house a nice car two kids and a dog.
00:08:19.230 --> 00:08:27.540 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, like, on paper, you would have thought I had the dream life, you know, the executive position, the whole nine yards. And yet,
00:08:28.710 --> 00:08:37.470 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, I really do love what Maslow did for the world and creating Maslow's hierarchy of needs, because there comes a point when the basic needs are met.
00:08:37.770 --> 00:08:49.620 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, where you really got to ask yourself what really does make me happy. You know and like some of the earliest writings of Aristotle talked about this right he drew the distinction between hedonistic happiness.
00:08:50.190 --> 00:09:00.660 Teresa de Grosbois: Which is an appropriate type of happy happiness. Right. It's the happiness you get when you have that great latte, or you know when a friend gives you a hug. It's, you know, the pursuits of the flesh, but it's fleeting.
00:09:01.380 --> 00:09:14.130 Teresa de Grosbois: But Aristotle also talked about you'd ammonia and you dentist to happiness is the happiness that comes from knowing you are a deep contribution to your family, your community or the world at large.
00:09:14.610 --> 00:09:19.080 Teresa de Grosbois: And that's the kind of happiness that settles into your bones and doesn't go away.
00:09:19.800 --> 00:09:35.130 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, and that's why sometimes nurses and firefighters are some of the happiest people on the planet, in spite of having some of the most dangerous stressful jobs because they know in their bones that they're doing something that really, really matters in the world.
00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:43.620 Graham Dobbin: You mentioned people like how to start. So, so what we're saying here is that this isn't you thinking we came to know this.
00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:45.480 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, we've known it for aeons
00:09:45.870 --> 00:09:47.880 Graham Dobbin: Most people don't tap into it that
00:09:48.870 --> 00:09:58.890 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, that's such a great question and I really think it comes down to self limiting beliefs, like there's so much research now on how we as human beings.
00:09:59.520 --> 00:10:06.930 Teresa de Grosbois: Develop self limiting beliefs. Usually when we're first learning language. Right. And so when you think about it, a two year old version of you.
00:10:07.410 --> 00:10:17.310 Teresa de Grosbois: Created a set of beliefs about yourself that you now live into, like, you know, maybe you told yourself. You're not tall enough smart enough fast enough athletic enough, whatever. Right.
00:10:17.940 --> 00:10:27.150 Teresa de Grosbois: And then those become truths that you live your life into and they tend to be the very things that come up when we think about moving toward
00:10:28.230 --> 00:10:39.480 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, the things that that have most meaning for us in the world. Right. And so until we learn to really challenge those self limiting beliefs. I have a set of exercises I do every day.
00:10:40.410 --> 00:10:55.290 Teresa de Grosbois: To help me stay on top of not being afraid to pursue my own dreams of really making a difference in the world. You know, and I think that's the number one challenge we have as human beings on this planet and it's it's ubiquitous every human being on this planet has it.
00:10:57.180 --> 00:10:57.690 Graham Dobbin: I'm
00:11:00.300 --> 00:11:01.890 Graham Dobbin: Curious about these exercises.
00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:07.260 Graham Dobbin: Something you created something when something that this be passed to you.
00:11:07.410 --> 00:11:13.470 Teresa de Grosbois: Well, something I created based on the work of a lot of other people. I do a lot of inner child work right so
00:11:14.370 --> 00:11:24.330 Teresa de Grosbois: I encourage people and I actually teach this when I when I speak. I encourage people to name their inner child because your ego was invented by you when you were to write
00:11:24.900 --> 00:11:35.280 Teresa de Grosbois: And there's a lot of teachers out there that I think are teaching methods. I don't think are the most effective, let me just say that to tell people to get rid of their ego or kill their ego off.
00:11:36.060 --> 00:11:47.100 Teresa de Grosbois: Which is equivalent to like killing off your inner child. You know, like, What a horrible thing to do your ego is what makes you interesting what's give you what gives you personality and character.
00:11:47.550 --> 00:11:51.690 Teresa de Grosbois: You just don't want a two year old version of you driving the bus.
00:11:52.470 --> 00:12:01.950 Teresa de Grosbois: You know you want you want your higher intuition and your higher cognition to be actually making the decisions in your life, not a two year old version of yourself. Right.
00:12:02.790 --> 00:12:09.000 Teresa de Grosbois: So I do an exercise with people and I do this with myself daily I give my inner child and new job description.
00:12:09.990 --> 00:12:18.510 Teresa de Grosbois: And and give the new job description actually is a merger of my work and Jennifer huff's work because she does give your ego, a new job description. So I have permission to use that
00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:29.640 Teresa de Grosbois: But some, you know, our inner child thinks it has to go through the day, ringing the alarm bell all the time, like, oh, don't do that, you'll look back, don't say that, it'll sound stupid.
00:12:30.210 --> 00:12:45.270 Teresa de Grosbois: Don't do that, you'll annoy your boss, you might get fired. Oh, don't go there, you're going to look bad. You're going to get wet. Oh, don't stick your neck out at work, you might get fired. Like, there's this constant dialogue right and that stems from your ego or your inner child right
00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:54.270 Teresa de Grosbois: When you tell your inner child. It doesn't have to be responsible for raising the alarm bell anymore, your inner being will breathe a sigh of relief.
00:12:54.930 --> 00:13:03.390 Teresa de Grosbois: I promise you, right, so have a conversation with that youngest part of you tell them they don't have to worry about ringing the alarm bell anymore.
00:13:03.810 --> 00:13:16.110 Teresa de Grosbois: You got it. You're an adult. You've got X number of years experience you can handle things now your inner child is now responsible for cheering you on and reminding you to have fun.
00:13:17.190 --> 00:13:29.700 Teresa de Grosbois: So my little inner child I call her Tessie because that was my nickname. When I was a child might one of my favorite brothers used to call me to turn Tessie not not because I was overweight, because I was in really tiny kid with a really big personality. Right.
00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:39.720 Teresa de Grosbois: And so little Tessie reminds me when I get too serious to have fun and she also when I start doing the home. I don't know if I can handle that. This seems too much.
00:13:40.410 --> 00:13:50.100 Teresa de Grosbois: She reminds me, are you kidding, you've got four best selling books you've climbed mountains. You've raised two amazing daughters, you know, you've moved countries.
00:13:50.340 --> 00:14:02.040 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, you know, she's there in my head to say you can handle one more hard thing you're good at doing hard things right. So having a conversation with your inner child eight makes you crazy, but I think that's good. Crazy.
00:14:03.750 --> 00:14:07.290 Teresa de Grosbois: Be it will really spur you through your day in a different way.
00:14:08.310 --> 00:14:09.870 Graham Dobbin: Um, we're gonna
00:14:10.950 --> 00:14:21.030 Graham Dobbin: We're gonna go to break, just in a moment. Afterwards, I want to kind of go back to something you mentioned earlier about not planning things out. And I just wonder where that comes in. Obviously, when we're talking about things like
00:14:21.690 --> 00:14:36.360 Graham Dobbin: I'm expanding our thoughts. Getting Past limiting beliefs that's going beyond consequences. I genuinely wonder when we talk about leaders and how they how they interact with other people to look at consequences, maybe a little bit too much.
00:14:37.380 --> 00:14:55.860 Graham Dobbin: And I'm more concerned with those. And obviously, we will talk about your book called mass influence you're listening to grim Dobbin on the mind behind the leadership this evening. We're with Teresa de gras. The best selling author of mass influence and we will be right back after these
00:14:59.670 --> 00:15:02.130 Graham Dobbin: at www radio dot
00:17:13.350 --> 00:17:22.980 Graham Dobbin: And welcome back, you're listening to the mind behind leadership, we're lucky tonight to have Teresa de gras with us. And we've been speaking about the inner child.
00:17:23.730 --> 00:17:36.330 Graham Dobbin: About consequences and about Canada how those bruises sometimes help us move forward a little bit more quickly than one thing you said at the, you know, really early on in our discussion trays, or was
00:17:37.410 --> 00:17:40.320 Graham Dobbin: And I couldn't have planned this 10 years ago.
00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:45.120 Graham Dobbin: I couldn't have imagined, whether it be, talk to me more about that.
00:17:46.320 --> 00:17:55.680 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, it really comes down to leaning in. You know, like when we really trust our higher intuition to do whatever makes sense to do next.
00:17:56.610 --> 00:18:02.760 Teresa de Grosbois: Then sometimes the world takes you in directions that you couldn't even dreamed for yourself, you know,
00:18:03.270 --> 00:18:08.910 Teresa de Grosbois: I couldn't have conceived that I would be running an organization whose collective reaches more than a half a billion people.
00:18:09.390 --> 00:18:13.200 Teresa de Grosbois: You know that that wasn't something I couldn't dream that big, you know,
00:18:13.500 --> 00:18:25.950 Teresa de Grosbois: I couldn't have dreamed that I would be a four times bestselling author. It's like my my brain wouldn't let me conceive that big. But sometimes when you just achieve that next milestone, all of a sudden, all these other possibilities open up for you, you know,
00:18:26.550 --> 00:18:30.690 Teresa de Grosbois: So when you give yourself permission to just move in the direction of things you love
00:18:31.230 --> 00:18:42.330 Teresa de Grosbois: Sometimes there's a whole nother world there that you haven't even really realized or thought of most people by the age of 40 look back and say, I couldn't have conceived this life, when I was 20 you know
00:18:43.710 --> 00:18:52.350 Graham Dobbin: Yeah, I can. I can relate to that and you talk to me not alone, that the two year old to drive the bus. I don't think I'd like to 22 year old of me on the bus.
00:18:53.730 --> 00:19:02.850 Graham Dobbin: And again, one of the things I moved to New York, three years ago, none of it was really planned and I kind of knew what what might happen. I certainly didn't think of a radio show or
00:19:03.570 --> 00:19:11.670 Graham Dobbin: New York or some of the things that I've done because you're right. You just just want one thing happens when we accept that they happen.
00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:29.550 Graham Dobbin: Then it just goes on to that probably takes us right into your book mass influence you. You spoke about that the epidemic of of influence and touching and what the most and everything just find mass influence what was it that drew you to that.
00:19:30.720 --> 00:19:36.150 Teresa de Grosbois: You know influence is really the engine of change in the world. Right. So I've always been fascinated like
00:19:36.630 --> 00:19:44.490 Teresa de Grosbois: Why do some people have lasting influence down through the ages, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Gandhi, where
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:52.110 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, people will still be quoting their work and 1000 years I'm confident of that and other people
00:19:52.590 --> 00:19:59.580 Teresa de Grosbois: Can create mass movements in the short term, but then history shows them to be villains like Hitler right
00:20:00.060 --> 00:20:10.710 Teresa de Grosbois: And you know what's common between those things. And what are the distinctions between those two things right and so that's always fascinated me. You know, studying that. And looking at that and
00:20:11.310 --> 00:20:18.300 Teresa de Grosbois: You know what I really boiled it down to is influential people have a set of habits that they tend to live their life by
00:20:19.320 --> 00:20:30.000 Teresa de Grosbois: And it's a slightly different rulebook than most people are used to living their lives by and when you get the paradigm shift of oh if I just live a little bit differently influence will naturally come to me.
00:20:31.080 --> 00:20:37.500 Teresa de Grosbois: It's actually far easier to grow your own influence and and be able to create movements in the world than you might ever imagine.
00:20:39.030 --> 00:20:52.140 Graham Dobbin: You touch on the good and the evil was a good and the bad for see the difference then between influence, because I'm asked this a lot, in your opinion, what's the difference between influence and manipulation.
00:20:53.130 --> 00:20:59.490 Teresa de Grosbois: Well, you know, you can use a lot of the skills and a lot of the principles of influence to manipulate people right
00:21:00.060 --> 00:21:06.570 Teresa de Grosbois: And but lasting influence comes with authenticity and integrity right and
00:21:07.290 --> 00:21:18.960 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, there's a lot of different definitions for those words out there being, you know, and a lot of different definitions for authentic authenticity, especially authenticity is just your inside voice saying the same thing as your outside voice in my world, right.
00:21:19.650 --> 00:21:28.050 Teresa de Grosbois: Which is why sometimes social paths can be very influential because they believe what they're saying right you know
00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:39.150 Teresa de Grosbois: Sociopaths can invent a lie, and I wouldn't even call it a lie. I would call it a false truth because to them. It's true. I just said it, it must be true. Right.
00:21:39.690 --> 00:21:51.450 Teresa de Grosbois: And and that's why they can be very compelling and manipulate people because they'll just invent evidence to make whatever they're saying true, you know, Hitler did this a lot, actually if you look back through history books.
00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:52.890 Teresa de Grosbois: And
00:21:53.910 --> 00:21:59.940 Teresa de Grosbois: But when it comes down to integrity like actually being your word.
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:12.270 Teresa de Grosbois: When we think about that, the very definition of integrity. Well, it's, there's two definitions of integrity. One is whole and complete and the other is being in alignment with your work right.
00:22:12.840 --> 00:22:18.810 Teresa de Grosbois: So if the alignment, you're in alignment with with your word and your word is false.
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:30.360 Teresa de Grosbois: You can actually be influential short term but your influence will crumble very rapidly because generally, the world will start to see. Hmm. That's kind of weird, like just not a lot of foundation there.
00:22:31.080 --> 00:22:49.320 Teresa de Grosbois: Even though there's flash right so it's kind of fascinating to watch what has influenced stick and how can people fake influence, you know, and get away with it. Sometimes, you know, for a short period of time, but usually not down through history, that's for sure.
00:22:49.950 --> 00:23:00.960 Graham Dobbin: Um, again you just touched on something else that was thinking earlier about the flash. I hear regularly that to be influential, you need to be charismatic, yes.
00:23:01.650 --> 00:23:06.240 Teresa de Grosbois: Um but charismatic can be a word that means different things to different people. Right.
00:23:06.840 --> 00:23:21.780 Teresa de Grosbois: In some ways, charismatic is true to what your own hardware is right, like so. Some people are super outgoing, other people are super in are introverted, but an introvert or someone who's more reserved can still be charismatic
00:23:21.870 --> 00:23:24.060 Teresa de Grosbois: My being true to who they are, you know,
00:23:25.140 --> 00:23:32.310 Teresa de Grosbois: It might be that they're a blogger and they write amazing blogs, but they're still charismatic through the written word, right.
00:23:33.180 --> 00:23:45.960 Teresa de Grosbois: So I actually think one of the core elements of charisma is how authentic. You are especially how vulnerable, you are, are you willing to be a real human being around people admit to your flaws admit to your challenges.
00:23:46.410 --> 00:23:56.850 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, admit to your own inner dialogue. Right. I mean, I've got as much as the next person. That's why I have chats with Jesse every day to help me get out my own self limiting beliefs. Right.
00:23:57.900 --> 00:24:07.590 Graham Dobbin: Um, it's interesting admitting to flaws. I think it's, it's something I've learned with each. I mean, you can tell the degree view of them getting old, if I'm not already there.
00:24:08.970 --> 00:24:21.780 Graham Dobbin: But it just seems to be that point where maybe when I was younger, I would defend highway how I felt. How a thought or something, or maybe even do it on quitters now I'm more than happy to to admit the force.
00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:34.860 Graham Dobbin: Kinda can remember what the changeover was being and it was probably be more accepting of myself for the push yourself, it was yours, where you could just turn around and go. That's just how it is. Yeah.
00:24:34.980 --> 00:24:42.270 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, I think the flaws or what turn us into the masterpiece that we are or we might perceive as flaws. Right.
00:24:42.870 --> 00:24:52.470 Teresa de Grosbois: Because you know everything we might perceive as a flaw is a double edged sword. It's usually a dichotomy within us something we're awesome app that's also something we're challenged with right because we weren't challenged
00:24:52.800 --> 00:24:59.040 Teresa de Grosbois: We wouldn't have become awesome at it, you know. So we all carry these dichotomies inside us and
00:24:59.880 --> 00:25:04.860 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, it's kind of like the masterpiece painting my uncle is actually a painter and
00:25:05.550 --> 00:25:11.580 Teresa de Grosbois: I remember one day as a child sitting down with him. And we were flipping through this big coffee table book of masterpiece art pieces.
00:25:12.300 --> 00:25:18.960 Teresa de Grosbois: And he was pointing out to me blonde of these paintings had like orange or purple in places you wouldn't expect to see orange or purple, you know,
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:32.160 Teresa de Grosbois: And I remember saying uncle really isn't a mistake or because it doesn't look like a mistake. And he said, Well, what do you think, and I said, Well, no, it's not a mistake. He says, yeah, I says, the stuff that we sometimes up close think her flaws are actually what makes it the masterpiece.
00:25:33.300 --> 00:25:39.720 Teresa de Grosbois: And that actually stuck with me my whole life as like just a truism. It's like, ah,
00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:50.910 Teresa de Grosbois: That stuff that we might perceive as flaws in ourselves or other people is actually the dichotomies that turn the individual human being into the masterpiece that they are
00:25:51.390 --> 00:26:03.780 Teresa de Grosbois: And when you can start to see that in people that really lets you fall in love with people for the totality of who they are, right, because you ever met someone who was so perfect. You just couldn't stand to be around them, you know,
00:26:04.470 --> 00:26:08.910 Teresa de Grosbois: And it's usually sawed right and nobody wants that. In this day and age.
00:26:09.420 --> 00:26:17.460 Graham Dobbin: You've just you've just use the word, my next question was, you know, can we do you think we unreasonably strive for perfection from ourselves. I suppose this is going back to
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:28.770 Graham Dobbin: What we put put you mentioned daily in the first part of the show about consequences and just just getting over things that we've got flaws. We're not perfect.
00:26:29.580 --> 00:26:39.720 Teresa de Grosbois: I think one of the greatest trends and society is that we're moving away from thinking that we have to walk around in mask sold and pretend to be perfect all the time.
00:26:40.200 --> 00:26:54.510 Teresa de Grosbois: And society is embracing, you know, just being you warts and all and and you know let the world fall in love with you as you are, you know, and I'm not saying be socially irresponsible, like, you know, don't stop wearing deodorant, please.
00:26:55.470 --> 00:27:02.220 Teresa de Grosbois: But some but but you know there's no need to pretend and fake it all the time. You know, there just isn't
00:27:03.630 --> 00:27:12.060 Graham Dobbin: Um, you mentioned you mentioned bloggers alone, you're talking about people being influential social media influencers are
00:27:12.900 --> 00:27:17.010 Graham Dobbin: One of the things that kind of cover over obviously over the last few years, um,
00:27:17.550 --> 00:27:30.060 Graham Dobbin: What do you think their impact is when we talk about influence because I hear so many good store and bad stories about social media influencers there and they may be doing authentic, which is what's in it for them.
00:27:31.110 --> 00:27:33.540 Graham Dobbin: Rather than other people. Yeah.
00:27:34.290 --> 00:27:39.780 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, I think some of them do it really, really well, you know, because some of them are really understanding that
00:27:41.250 --> 00:27:44.820 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, meet people where they're at and take them where you want them to go, you know,
00:27:45.690 --> 00:27:51.690 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, one of my favorite Facebook pages is meanwhile in Canada. It's one of the biggest Facebook pages in Canada and
00:27:52.590 --> 00:27:58.320 Teresa de Grosbois: All. All he does is post stuff of that pokes fun at how people see Canadians right
00:27:59.100 --> 00:28:07.260 Teresa de Grosbois: And I don't even remember what is following is now, but it's something like he has as many followers. He has a third of the population of Canada.
00:28:07.500 --> 00:28:14.130 Teresa de Grosbois: Following his Facebook page. Like, that's how many followers. He has right or more. It's it might might even be half or more at this point. Right.
00:28:15.030 --> 00:28:25.800 Teresa de Grosbois: And and he's actually credited with swaying the last Canadian election because even though he doesn't post a lot of political stuff he posted three or four mediums that went right to the heart of
00:28:26.670 --> 00:28:43.290 Teresa de Grosbois: The in authenticity of the party that was leading and I shouldn't say the last election two elections ago and but he went straight to the heart of the inauthenticity and and they went so viral that it's It tipped the wave of the election and
00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:55.740 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, so having a huge number of people follow you can be a very powerful thing if used responsibly, it can actually turn the wave of the way societies. Thank you.
00:28:56.370 --> 00:29:07.140 Graham Dobbin: Just want to say it's about responsibility and how we do it. So we're talking will be talking in this part about authenticity of people and us, but also the community awesome that that not wider.
00:29:07.560 --> 00:29:22.380 Graham Dobbin: net wider set and you're listening to the mind behind leadership and we're alive from New York City. We're talking to reserve the global ah this evening about influence and after the break we're going to talk specifically about a book mass influence
00:31:52.230 --> 00:32:05.490 Graham Dobbin: Welcome back, you're listening to the mind behind the leadership. We're aligned from New York City Teresa. Tell us about this book mass influence kicked off. What about ISIS so popular.
00:32:06.420 --> 00:32:14.040 Teresa de Grosbois: Well, one of the reasons I wrote mass influence was I saw so many people just everyday heroes that really wanted to do do good things in the world.
00:32:14.580 --> 00:32:21.030 Teresa de Grosbois: Really struggle when it came to the realm of thinking about becoming influenced or themselves, you know,
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:31.710 Teresa de Grosbois: One of the places, our inner dialogue stops us the most is in stepping into leadership, right, especially leadership around our own dreams of really making a difference in the world. So
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:43.470 Teresa de Grosbois: I really wanted good people to start to understand that becoming influential is is not only important but it's easy, it's really just a set of habits that you can adopt every day.
00:32:43.860 --> 00:32:49.980 Teresa de Grosbois: And once you start to learn these habits and and do them. It becomes as natural as breathing right you
00:32:50.460 --> 00:32:58.680 Teresa de Grosbois: You don't see influential people going through their day going, oh my god, I got to be influential 24 seven today, where am I going to find the time you know
00:32:59.250 --> 00:33:06.750 Teresa de Grosbois: They just move through their day doing the things that influential people tend to naturally do and they were influenced grows as a result.
00:33:07.770 --> 00:33:15.450 Graham Dobbin: So what do you, what do you think you spoke about what of mouth thing and keeping that positive. How do you think that evolves.
00:33:18.180 --> 00:33:18.840 Teresa de Grosbois: You know,
00:33:19.560 --> 00:33:32.100 Teresa de Grosbois: When you look at it, word of mouth is something that when you've got the right message you know when it's around something that really matters like when you're solving a big problem in the world or standing in something that people really really want
00:33:32.370 --> 00:33:38.700 Teresa de Grosbois: And you're super passionate about it. That's like the spark and the fuel that ignites the wildfire. Right.
00:33:39.300 --> 00:33:51.270 Teresa de Grosbois: And then all you need is the wind to blow the flames. Right. So, and really the wind comes down to how many other influential people. Do you know how many other influential people. Are you really in relationship with right
00:33:52.410 --> 00:34:00.690 Teresa de Grosbois: I would frickin crawl through grab a glass for Sam Leibowitz who owns this radio station right he's actually a colleague and friend for many years.
00:34:00.780 --> 00:34:01.350 Graham Dobbin: He's okay.
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:07.890 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, well you know Sam has helped more people in this industry by helping them get shows by helping them get interviews.
00:34:08.610 --> 00:34:18.120 Teresa de Grosbois: You talk to anyone in New York in the, the whole movement of building a better world. They all know Sam right and I bet she's blushing in the background, listening to this.
00:34:18.120 --> 00:34:25.440 Teresa de Grosbois: I hope he is because he deserves to have people talk about him that way, right, because he's someone who naturally gives and helps other people
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:33.720 Teresa de Grosbois: And that's one of the core skills of influence right when you look at influential people they're natural givers and they don't just
00:34:34.200 --> 00:34:46.320 Teresa de Grosbois: give of themselves randomly, they actually give influence to other people and and the more influence you give to other people, the more influence you get. That's one of the core habits to understand becoming influential
00:34:47.550 --> 00:34:48.030 Graham Dobbin: I'm
00:34:49.410 --> 00:34:50.880 Graham Dobbin: Centralized interesting you say this
00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:56.430 Graham Dobbin: I've met lots of people who are influential and the beta giving
00:34:57.570 --> 00:35:01.590 Graham Dobbin: It struggled to deceive struggled struggled to take it back and
00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:06.870 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, it's a lot like breathing out but never breathing in.
00:35:08.700 --> 00:35:20.130 Teresa de Grosbois: And when you think about it, this is something. Dr. Shonda parent talks about in her work a lot. She talks about how as human beings we tend to create cycles of reciprocity. It's how we build relationships with other human beings. Right.
00:35:20.790 --> 00:35:28.110 Teresa de Grosbois: And when you look at influential people influential people build cycles of reciprocity differently. They tend to
00:35:28.620 --> 00:35:32.580 Teresa de Grosbois: Like, you know, unlike you want to be friends with a neighbor, you're probably going to bring them an apple pie or
00:35:32.970 --> 00:35:42.720 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, maybe offer to look after their house when they go on holiday like that's the reciprocity would take to build friendships, but influential people actually use influence
00:35:43.380 --> 00:35:45.540 Teresa de Grosbois: To build reciprocity with each other.
00:35:45.870 --> 00:35:57.300 Teresa de Grosbois: Right, and so you watch how they operate. And they will say nice things about each other. I've been even been doing it on this interview. I've been mentioning other people that I really admire, because I think their work needs to get out in the public
00:35:57.660 --> 00:36:02.850 Teresa de Grosbois: And I'm not doing it because I want them to like me back. I'm doing it because I they deserve it.
00:36:03.510 --> 00:36:15.600 Teresa de Grosbois: Right. But that's how you build relationship, just like you might bring the neighbor and apple pie, not because you're expecting some payment in return, but because you like the neighbor and you want to be friends with them right and you admire them and appreciate them.
00:36:16.260 --> 00:36:24.480 Teresa de Grosbois: And influences a lot the same if you won't ever receive it back. It's like saying to the neighbor Arctic that apple pie away. I don't want it.
00:36:24.930 --> 00:36:31.950 Teresa de Grosbois: It's like a chop in the cycle of reciprocity and then you know someone who was trying to do something nice for you, you just kind of want it.
00:36:32.550 --> 00:36:42.480 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, and it's not a it's actually not a loving and kind thing to do, receiving someone else's gift is actually one of the nicest gifts you can give them back.
00:36:42.900 --> 00:36:56.490 Graham Dobbin: If you see somebody some of the conversations I've had, especially when it when it's in business circles and people like to give. And I see do you enjoy doing this and they say yes. So why would you deny someone else that enjoyment of giving a
00:36:57.300 --> 00:36:58.560 Teresa de Grosbois: Beautiful question, let
00:36:58.890 --> 00:37:01.170 Teresa de Grosbois: Me quote you on that one crayon. That's brilliant.
00:37:02.490 --> 00:37:17.220 Graham Dobbin: Because we are benign someone else that that not pleasure, because it's one of those things that we tend to enjoy seeing other people grow develop and enjoyable. We can give. Yeah, not, not so much power of influence. Yeah.
00:37:17.250 --> 00:37:26.190 Teresa de Grosbois: You're not only you know chopping the ability to build relationship without other influencer, but you're undermining your own ability to cause change in the world.
00:37:27.090 --> 00:37:37.740 Teresa de Grosbois: Because as a good person. If you have influenced you know have the power to sway opinions and get people to take action around different things. And wouldn't you want to use that when you want to build a better world.
00:37:38.460 --> 00:37:49.980 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, the reality is, you know, the one group of people on this planet who do use influence very adeptly tend to be social paths. Right. They tend to just get it.
00:37:50.520 --> 00:38:04.920 Teresa de Grosbois: And yet they're, you know, marching to the beat of their own inner dialogue, which tends to be very narcissistic and self serving right so if we as good people everyday heroes don't overcome our core negative beliefs.
00:38:05.310 --> 00:38:08.070 Teresa de Grosbois: And step into leadership and step into influence
00:38:08.520 --> 00:38:16.800 Teresa de Grosbois: Really what's at stake is we're we're risking leaving our children behind a world run by the very leaders that we fear.
00:38:18.390 --> 00:38:28.080 Teresa de Grosbois: So I would really encourage people to think about this, you know, step into your dream step into your influence start understanding how influence works. I mean,
00:38:28.170 --> 00:38:35.520 Graham Dobbin: That's not being able to receive it is kind of one of the biggest mistakes I see a leader, making absolutely
00:38:35.550 --> 00:38:38.280 Teresa de Grosbois: I would say that's Mistake number one. Okay.
00:38:38.580 --> 00:38:47.580 Graham Dobbin: Okay, what other ones. Do you think on around and around influence to leaders mean what kind of mistakes that they make and not allow people to
00:38:47.730 --> 00:38:50.700 Teresa de Grosbois: Well, I would say one of the biggest ones and building influences
00:38:51.150 --> 00:39:02.640 Teresa de Grosbois: What I would affectionately call the premature ask right and you see this in networking events all the time, right. People intuitively know they need to build some kind of cycle of reciprocity with influential people
00:39:03.390 --> 00:39:12.240 Teresa de Grosbois: And often at a networking event, you'll see the guest of honor. Who's usually the most influential person in the room. You see the host and the guest of honor. The two most influential people in a in a networking event.
00:39:12.870 --> 00:39:20.430 Teresa de Grosbois: And you'll see them walk off stage and there'll be a lineup of people waiting to give them a book or a CD or product sample of some sort. Right.
00:39:21.240 --> 00:39:30.030 Teresa de Grosbois: And that's kind of a lot like going to the new neighbor that you just met and sank. You are so gonna love my kids, you're really going to enjoy babysitting them.
00:39:30.750 --> 00:39:42.120 Teresa de Grosbois: Right and and that might be true. Like you might have the greatest kids on the planet. You might have the most beautiful book, the best product sample, but your book or your product sample is all about you.
00:39:43.020 --> 00:39:52.590 Teresa de Grosbois: Right, so it's not really kickstarting the reciprocity with you in that influential person when you watch how influential people give influence to each other.
00:39:53.490 --> 00:40:02.070 Teresa de Grosbois: They are, how they generate reciprocity with each other. They give each other, influence, right. So, if you walk up to that influential person and say,
00:40:02.550 --> 00:40:07.560 Teresa de Grosbois: Oh my god, I gotta show on talk radio New York and I would love to interview you.
00:40:08.520 --> 00:40:16.260 Teresa de Grosbois: Instant reciprocity, you know, or if you just say, Hey, I'm a blogger, can I write a blog post about what you were just talking about. That was brilliant. Yeah.
00:40:16.470 --> 00:40:22.590 Teresa de Grosbois: Or I heard you say you're going to Chicago. I know someone who runs events in Chicago. Can I introduce you might be a place for you to speak.
00:40:23.010 --> 00:40:33.780 Teresa de Grosbois: Like all of those would be ways to give influenced to another person that kickstart reciprocity. It's like, you gotta breathe out so you can breathe in. Right. So, you know,
00:40:34.620 --> 00:40:39.390 Teresa de Grosbois: This is where this whole mindset of always be closing, you know, get in there and ask
00:40:39.870 --> 00:40:53.970 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, it caused a lot of people to go rushing out making premature asks from influential people and sometimes influential people are gracious and they'll you know endorse the book or endorse the product, just to throw you a bone.
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:55.740 Teresa de Grosbois: But it doesn't create lasting.
00:40:55.770 --> 00:40:57.960 Teresa de Grosbois: Relationship with them right and
00:40:59.220 --> 00:41:09.690 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, the one thing I would tell people to do is breathe. There's nothing to hurry up and do create some reciprocity, there's lots of time to make an ask later once you build a relationship with someone
00:41:10.680 --> 00:41:19.950 Graham Dobbin: Be curious about the other person by the times I've got into a networking room. It's like a room full of people trying to sell to a room full of people who don't want to buy
00:41:20.520 --> 00:41:23.940 Graham Dobbin: And yeah, it's almost, you know, completely opposite
00:41:24.210 --> 00:41:26.190 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, and it can feel really smarmy
00:41:26.190 --> 00:41:28.980 Teresa de Grosbois: Can't it like it's, it's, that's a technical word smarmy
00:41:30.630 --> 00:41:31.110 Graham Dobbin: Chicken. Oh.
00:41:31.680 --> 00:41:39.570 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, you know, and, and when you think about the world according to the highly influential, you know, like that's why they have so many gatekeepers around them right like
00:41:40.110 --> 00:41:46.980 Teresa de Grosbois: I can only imagine what Oprah Winfrey moves through right and you know because in the world of influences, you know, I'm still at the, you know,
00:41:47.640 --> 00:41:56.460 Teresa de Grosbois: Lower end relative to like Hollywood stars or you know someone who runs a tell a syndicated television show or something.
00:41:57.030 --> 00:42:12.000 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, and yet I still have had experiences where, you know, I might be speaking on a stage with 500 people and walk off stage and there'll be like 100 people waiting to offer to buy me lunch or coffee like I would be dead if I said yes so
00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:18.240 Teresa de Grosbois: You just can't do it right, which is why you need gatekeepers right so
00:42:18.900 --> 00:42:28.740 Teresa de Grosbois: It's really important to understand that it really is all about reciprocity and when you start getting in that habit of just routinely given influence to everyone who deserves it.
00:42:29.220 --> 00:42:37.320 Teresa de Grosbois: Like authenticity being another of the core habits, right, like you never have to give influence to someone that you don't authentically love and admire.
00:42:37.650 --> 00:42:47.340 Teresa de Grosbois: Choose people who you think are real inspiring heroes, you know and and give them influence. You know, like I'm fortunate to be at the point
00:42:48.120 --> 00:42:58.470 Teresa de Grosbois: Where I can now say no to interviews, you know, and that's like, yay. At a certain point in your career, you get so many offers that you can start to pick and choose. I would come on your show any day of the week random
00:42:58.740 --> 00:42:59.550 Teresa de Grosbois: I love
00:43:01.770 --> 00:43:02.940 Teresa de Grosbois: You know I love what your
00:43:02.940 --> 00:43:10.470 Teresa de Grosbois: Shows about I love what you do for your listeners. You know what I mean. And, and so I can come on here and authentically be enthusiastic right
00:43:10.860 --> 00:43:15.030 Teresa de Grosbois: Can you imagine what this interview would be like if I just thought you were a real jerk.
00:43:15.690 --> 00:43:23.610 Teresa de Grosbois: Like how is that gonna affect my energy, how's it going to affect the show right so you know influence is not something. It's not like
00:43:23.940 --> 00:43:33.300 Teresa de Grosbois: Willy Nilly giving out compliments to anyone. It's about authentically looking at who really deserves recognition, who really deserves praise.
00:43:33.510 --> 00:43:44.850 Teresa de Grosbois: And don't hesitate to shine a light on those people, even if it's the girl who gave you good service in the Starbucks or the city worker who came and got your sewer unplugged quickly.
00:43:45.420 --> 00:43:51.810 Teresa de Grosbois: Who's the unsung hero at the city because nobody ever bothers to write a note to his manager, you know,
00:43:52.650 --> 00:44:03.600 Teresa de Grosbois: Give a praise were praises due and watch how it changes your life. I can tell you, I don't know how many stories about how giving praise praise do ended up with really surprising results in my life.
00:44:04.740 --> 00:44:08.850 Graham Dobbin: I'm Chase. I think that's probably the nicest thing that somebody said to me in a long time that I'm
00:44:11.160 --> 00:44:12.270 Teresa de Grosbois: Very true. And
00:44:12.450 --> 00:44:15.780 Graham Dobbin: Why don't you go to a break by I'm going to disagree with you after the break.
00:44:15.930 --> 00:44:27.120 Graham Dobbin: Okay, what are the things you said was that you can get not at that level yet. But you're telling me that you've got the evolutionary Business Council with a reach of half a billion people. We want to know more about
00:44:28.680 --> 00:44:39.780 Graham Dobbin: Totally you're listening to the mind bank leadership live on talk radio dot NYC with Graham Dobbin and I'm speaking with Teresa, the global on this evening. We'll be right back after these
00:44:44.070 --> 00:44:44.310 Graham Dobbin: And
00:44:46.470 --> 00:44:47.640 Educate and
00:47:03.270 --> 00:47:10.890 Graham Dobbin: Tonight is New York City, so must be the mind behind leadership. Welcome back. And we are speaking with Theresa, the girl.
00:47:12.390 --> 00:47:21.990 Graham Dobbin: Who has said something earlier that she wasn't quite up there and amongst the top influencers but happened to drop in earlier that she has
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:32.850 Graham Dobbin: The chair of the fandom. The chair of the evolutionary Business Council with the reach of half a billion. What, what does that influence and need to have trees over
00:47:34.560 --> 00:47:36.180 Teresa de Grosbois: Okay, you can't meet on that one.
00:47:39.510 --> 00:47:42.270 Graham Dobbin: I'm not a joke and have been right. This is a, this is a great night.
00:47:47.040 --> 00:47:47.550 Graham Dobbin: Please.
00:47:47.970 --> 00:48:00.090 Teresa de Grosbois: About the evolutionary Business Council. Well, you know, the evolutionary Business Council is just a group of like minded business leaders, mostly content providers actually like we're we're writers bloggers.
00:48:01.470 --> 00:48:14.070 Teresa de Grosbois: Professional speakers TV hosts a few reporters even a few professional comedians. We've even got one magician who runs Magicians without borders and Costa Rica. Wow. But they're all people who believe
00:48:14.940 --> 00:48:26.280 Teresa de Grosbois: In creating a conscious sustainable generative world. And our mission is to help grow the influence the profitability and the impact of businesses that are out to build a better world. So
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:39.300 Teresa de Grosbois: A lot of what we do is we help our members. Learn how to give influence to each other and you know if somebody's struggling to launch something and they need advice they have other members to go to. Right, so
00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:49.050 Teresa de Grosbois: When I was referring to the reaches over half a billion. I was referring to the collective reach of our members. So they're all highly influential people in their own right.
00:48:50.010 --> 00:48:58.710 Teresa de Grosbois: And many of them have syndicated TV shows and things like that. But they're also an amazing group of people you know who deeply care about
00:48:59.550 --> 00:49:16.830 Teresa de Grosbois: taking a stand in the world for, you know, how do we how do we write some of the the wrongs, or the the directions. We've gone in, in this planet that are just ineffective and how do we start teaching people to get after their inner dialogue and and be courageous and go out and lead
00:49:17.940 --> 00:49:22.560 Teresa de Grosbois: How do we teach people better ways to live in health or better ways to
00:49:23.850 --> 00:49:39.540 Teresa de Grosbois: Parent or better ways to just, you know, approach, how they live their lives in a sustainable fashion. So it's actually a really cool group of people I learn new stuff from them every day. I feel very, very honored to actually hold the the context of them coming together as a mastermind.
00:49:40.710 --> 00:49:48.030 Graham Dobbin: Um, how do you start something like this. You said, I mean, I'm going to assume that this has been the last 10 years or so. Yeah.
00:49:48.180 --> 00:49:50.910 Teresa de Grosbois: In fact, we just turned 10 a few months ago so
00:49:51.750 --> 00:49:55.470 Graham Dobbin: Um, how do you, how do you create a network.
00:49:56.970 --> 00:50:09.450 Graham Dobbin: Something that I think people talk about go networking. This is building a network. This is building a community. There's a slight difference. How would you go about building a network of such influential people
00:50:10.110 --> 00:50:15.060 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, you know, I'd love to tell you it was planned and and we followed the
00:50:15.060 --> 00:50:15.570 Plan.
00:50:16.620 --> 00:50:17.370 Teresa de Grosbois: Perfectly
00:50:18.150 --> 00:50:24.690 Teresa de Grosbois: Actually the the evolutionary Business Council was created more by intervention than anything else. You know I am.
00:50:25.680 --> 00:50:37.110 Teresa de Grosbois: I hosted a big multi speaker event in Calgary, which was my hometown. At the time, invited a lot of my closest colleagues who were also friends, you know, people I could call him to come speak at it.
00:50:37.800 --> 00:50:47.760 Teresa de Grosbois: And after the event I sprang for a couple condos up in the mountains. So we could all go and just enjoy a weekend together and do do some collaborating and masterminding together.
00:50:48.570 --> 00:50:59.040 Teresa de Grosbois: And that first night we were all sitting around with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, as the case may be and out of my mouth pops the phrase someday when I'm influential enough
00:50:59.790 --> 00:51:09.690 Teresa de Grosbois: I'd love to create a big community for people to really start to understand influence where they could really step into helping each other really change the world.
00:51:10.980 --> 00:51:14.160 Teresa de Grosbois: And everybody in the room started laughing and
00:51:15.390 --> 00:51:16.470 Teresa de Grosbois: I'm like what
00:51:16.920 --> 00:51:20.370 Teresa de Grosbois: I just stated my dream and you're all laughing at me like,
00:51:20.430 --> 00:51:37.980 Teresa de Grosbois: What is going on and Daniel Gutierrez who's who remains one of my dearest friends turns to me and says, Teresa. You were just on stage four hours ago, telling people to notice when they say someday I will in inviting them to make that day today.
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:47.100 Teresa de Grosbois: And then Jennifer Hoff, who's also another huge speaker and dear friend turns to me and says, so when are you going to do that. Teresa.
00:51:48.120 --> 00:51:59.430 Teresa de Grosbois: And that was the moment the evolutionary Business Council was born in fact the the six people that were in that room with me became the first board of directors for the evolutionary Business Council, we spent the rest of that weekend.
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:12.570 Teresa de Grosbois: Brainstorming out. What would the organization look like. And, you know, of course, we really grown and and expanded and move so far beyond that early vision I we could barely recognize the organization at this point.
00:52:13.290 --> 00:52:27.930 Teresa de Grosbois: But really what it took. It is the courage to lean in, you know, because you know my earliest inner dialogue, especially being the youngest of very large family from not only Canada but northern Canada. You know, I really did grow up in the backwoods
00:52:28.980 --> 00:52:36.390 Teresa de Grosbois: My earliest inner dialogue was I'm not important. And I'm too small to play with the big kids so you know for me.
00:52:37.080 --> 00:52:53.040 Teresa de Grosbois: To have the courage to say, Okay, maybe I can lead something like this. That was one of those moments where I really needed my friends about me to say, of course, you can leave this Teresa just lean in and see what happens. You know, and as they say, the rest is history.
00:52:54.030 --> 00:53:05.190 Graham Dobbin: I'm I'm intrigued with and without giving obviously too much personal away into the theme on people that you haven't somewhere like the evolutionary Business Council or within your network.
00:53:05.550 --> 00:53:18.480 Graham Dobbin: That have come through that and that kind of thing where we've got the inner dialogue that we don't think we're good enough. We don't think we can do these things. We've got these limiting beliefs with maybe hearts. Um, what we generally regarded as failure.
00:53:19.740 --> 00:53:28.200 Teresa de Grosbois: As something that's actually a theme throughout humanity. You know when when when you get the average person to admit
00:53:29.130 --> 00:53:30.870 Graham Dobbin: You're supposed you're supposed
00:53:31.890 --> 00:53:41.850 Teresa de Grosbois: Driver for them, you know, yeah and and but then the really fascinating thing about inner dialogue is, you know, one of the exercises I love is, you know, for the next seven days.
00:53:42.840 --> 00:53:55.680 Teresa de Grosbois: Whenever you think about putting yourself out there, stepping into leadership journal what your major inner dialogue is around that, especially your limiting beliefs, like, you know, right, start writing down, you know,
00:53:56.910 --> 00:54:06.810 Teresa de Grosbois: I'm too small to play with the big kids or I'm not smart enough or nobody would take me seriously, or I can't, I'm not a good enough public speaker, whatever, just start writing down what your objections are
00:54:07.230 --> 00:54:16.770 Teresa de Grosbois: That things stop you. And then the real juice of this exercises start writing down where that hinders you and start writing down where that limiting belief motivates you.
00:54:18.060 --> 00:54:30.420 Teresa de Grosbois: Because I'm too small to play with the big kids and I'm not important motivated little Tessie to actually become an expert on influence and start noticing. Well, what does have people listen to people.
00:54:30.780 --> 00:54:37.170 Teresa de Grosbois: What does give people credibility so that you know they become important in business because you know
00:54:37.500 --> 00:54:48.120 Teresa de Grosbois: My little two year old version of me, who was just always worried about being left behind by her siblings. Because I'll tell you when you're out in the wilderness, your families, your whole world. So if they leave you behind. It's like, you know,
00:54:48.690 --> 00:54:54.330 Teresa de Grosbois: Knowing how to be important becomes your whole survival in that scenario right
00:54:55.170 --> 00:55:08.490 Teresa de Grosbois: So if I didn't have that as a survival tactic at the age of two. I never would have been motivated to become the expert on influence that I am right so that inner dialogue is one of the biggest gifts I ever gave myself.
00:55:09.210 --> 00:55:19.680 Teresa de Grosbois: You know, and most people will find that that like every human being, your inner dialogue. Also, you'll start actually be being desperately terrified. It's true, or
00:55:20.190 --> 00:55:32.250 Teresa de Grosbois: Desperately trying to prove it's not true. And in the language of desperately trying to prove it's not true. You can actually learn a lot grow a lot. Find a lot, you know, there's some amazing things that can happen for you.
00:55:32.790 --> 00:55:36.720 Graham Dobbin: Change this is this is absolutely flown by we've only got a couple of minutes to the end.
00:55:38.370 --> 00:55:41.220 Graham Dobbin: Which is which is disappointing. You're more than welcome to come back.
00:55:41.640 --> 00:55:58.080 Graham Dobbin: Anytime I you know for for people out there, it'd be really interesting. Just what would you say or give us a tip, an idea of what's the first thing that someone can do to step into that that point where the Accept themselves of being authentic with themselves.
00:55:58.680 --> 00:55:59.640 Teresa de Grosbois: And well,
00:56:00.240 --> 00:56:10.950 Teresa de Grosbois: If you want to give yourself one gift. I'd say come do my 30 day influence challenge because I have a little a system. It's like a one minute exercise you do every day.
00:56:11.430 --> 00:56:19.260 Teresa de Grosbois: And it's kind of like I teach you hockey by putting you on the rink, I get you to start doing the habits that Jaime influential people routinely do
00:56:19.740 --> 00:56:31.380 Teresa de Grosbois: And if you pay attention. You will notice that you will be a radically different person after 30 days of doing these little exercises and keeping them in mind as she walked through your day so
00:56:31.890 --> 00:56:33.360 Graham Dobbin: Things that I made a couple of minutes.
00:56:33.510 --> 00:56:43.650 Teresa de Grosbois: Yeah, Minute or two a day just focus on this and see what happens in your day. So if you want to do that exercise, just feel free to come to mass influence the book.com
00:56:44.340 --> 00:56:59.700 Teresa de Grosbois: And we also give away the digital version of my book for free. So if you're dying to read my book calm and we'll send you to all the websites on Amazon. I book where you want to download that and but do that 30 day influence challenge and see how your life is different in 30 days.
00:56:59.880 --> 00:57:11.400 Graham Dobbin: to reserve the grub one. Thank you so much, we've come to the end and we will will will will will see you again on here. And thank you for joining us on the main behind leadership. Join us again next Thursday.
00:57:12.420 --> 00:57:18.720 Graham Dobbin: At seven o'clock here live on talk radio dot NYC. Have a great evening. Good night.