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EPISODE SUMMARY:
Are you walking the talk? Do people interpret your actions as you have intended? How do you know? Becoming the leader you aspire to be takes much more intentionality and practice than simply creating a strategic plan. In this episode, executive coach, Miki Feldman Simon will share her CORE 4 step process from her upcoming book to help listeners live and lead with intention, authenticity and integrity. Miki will provide practical tips that the audience can immediately implement.
Are you walking the talk? Do people interpret your actions as you have intended? Becoming the leader you aspire to be takes much more intentionality and practice than simply creating a strategic plan. Using science and behavioral psychology Miki designed a 4 step process, the CORE framework that helps leaders stop getting in their own way, and lead themselves and others with intention, authenticity and integrity. CORE stands for Clarity, Operationalize, Reflect, Evaluate. Miki Feldman Simon is a certified Executive Coach, PCC, successful business leader, and dynamic public speaker. Miki coaches leaders seasoned in their executive positions to broaden their impact, as well as supports those recently promoted to succeed in their new role. Her clients become more self-aware, more aligned personally and professionally, and more deliberate and intentional in their leadership, elevating their ability to lead authentically and effectively. Miki’s work is informed by 25 years in business and entrepreneurship, working globally, in the United States, Israel and Australia, across a number of leadership roles and industries. Under her tenure in HR, marketing, and executive leadership, she has led multiple companies to successful exits and has gained deep understanding of the challenges executives face. Miki is certified in Stakeholder Centered Coaching, Red Team Coaching and has an M.S. in Organizational Behavior, a B.A. in Psychology and Educational Counseling, and SPHR.
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In this episode of The Hard Skills, Dr. Mira Brancu is joined by Dr. Patti Weiter as they discuss the expectations leaders put on themselves and the societal messages when leading during times of uncertainty. Dr. Weiter is an executive coach with a passion for positive leadership and helps to prove that leadership is grounded in well-being science. To kick off the conversation, Dr. Brancu talks about women in leadership positions navigating their careers. An example is how some women have been taught the idea of being perfect for others and in control. This perception can cause perfectionism and imposter syndrome, which can guide women leaders to doubt themselves. To be a leader in a workplace, there is going to be learning and relearning on many different subjects that we have been conditioned to accept over the course of time. Dr. Weiter shares her personal experience and advice about the following example that was just given.
After the first break, Dr. Brancu and Dr. Weiter pick up where they left off, which was discussing why people can’t address the disconnect between how we feel on the inside by faking it. Dr. Weiter explains why people won’t project their thoughts and feelings when they are in a leadership position. “Being a human and growing as a leader means that you will have uncertainty and that is uncomfortable,” says Dr. Weiter. “But that is normal.” It is important in the workplace to have a certain skill set that involves a little psychology, learning the system, and the messages that surround the workplace. Dr. Weiter shares why that skill set is so important in her eyes which is how the impact of each person's training, the complexity of it, and understanding the science of where they came from. Then, Dr. Weiter shares her top three best practices for leaders to catch themselves engaging in societal messages and how to counteract them. The tips include understanding yourself better, practicing soft skills every day, and once you have those in practice looking for clarity in a long-term vision.
We return to where the conversation left off, which were the three tips to engage in societal messages. Dr. Weiter goes further into detail with her second tip: practicing soft skills. Specifically, using soft skills in order to connect with other people. Applying and practicing soft skills can help people reach their potential, being more genuine, empowering ourselves and others, and having a healthy sense of ourselves will lead to creating more healthy workplaces. This also ties into the third tip of finding clarity and connecting with others. Dr. Brancu has her own company called Towerscope, and Dr. Weiter works with her and is starting a program called the Towerscope Leadership Academy, they take the time to discuss what the academy will bring, what it will teach, and what someone will be able to accomplish after going through the program.
To close the episode, Dr. Brancu conducts a Lightning Round and asks Dr. Weiter a question from a viewer who asked over the course of the live episode. The question that was asked included what types of advice we should avoid when we are leading through uncertainty. Something that Dr. Weiter wants the viewers to take away from this episode is to have compassion for yourself whenever you are in an uncertain space. We don't have to have all the answers right away, there is always some way to navigate around something until you are able to get an answer.
00:00:53.180 --> 00:00:57.039 Mira Brancu: Leaders. Are you walking your talk?
00:00:57.340 --> 00:01:04.029 Mira Brancu: Do you know if it's received that way? Do you know, if people interpret your actions as you have intended
00:01:04.360 --> 00:01:17.199 Mira Brancu: becoming the leader you aspire to be takes much more intentionality and practice than simply creating a strategic plan. And that is what we'll be talking about on today's episode.
00:01:17.620 --> 00:01:29.980 Mira Brancu: Welcome to the hard skills show where we discuss how to develop the most nuanced and challenging soft skills needed to drive significant systemic change to make a real impact through your leadership.
00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:33.870 Mira Brancu: I'm your host, Dr. Mirabu, and today our guest
00:01:33.880 --> 00:01:51.430 Mira Brancu: is Mickey Feldman Simon. She is an executive coach who will share her core. CORE. 4. Step process from her upcoming book to help leaders live and lead with that kind of intention, authenticity, and integrity
00:01:51.500 --> 00:01:52.530 Mira Brancu: and
00:01:52.610 --> 00:01:55.349 Mira Brancu: how to make those things happen
00:01:55.990 --> 00:02:00.830 Mira Brancu: with intention, with a strategic idea. Right? So
00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:06.530 Mira Brancu: mickey has 25 years of experience in Hr. Marketing and
00:02:06.690 --> 00:02:26.649 Mira Brancu: in executive leadership roles herself. So she gets it, and working globally in the United States, Israel and Australia, with a master's degree in organizational behavior on top of that and multiple additional specialty certifications and coaching and Hr specialties. So we're super excited to have you on the show. Mickey. Welcome.
00:02:27.480 --> 00:02:30.710 Miki Feldman Simon: I am super excited to be here. Thank you, Mira.
00:02:30.930 --> 00:02:32.214 Mira Brancu: Absolutely. Now.
00:02:33.560 --> 00:02:35.189 Mira Brancu: be ready. Folks
00:02:35.790 --> 00:02:38.030 Mira Brancu: take notes. I always do
00:02:38.180 --> 00:02:47.849 Mira Brancu: reflect deeply and identify at least one small step to further develop your hard skills muscle. Mickey is definitely someone who thinks
00:02:48.020 --> 00:02:51.040 Mira Brancu: about how to apply these things very practically.
00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.010 Mira Brancu: So I think you'll learn a lot.
00:02:53.320 --> 00:02:57.947 Mira Brancu: So let's let's get into something a little bit.
00:02:59.216 --> 00:03:07.279 Mira Brancu: of of a fun. Get to know you. You've had quite an interesting career with the global experiences and the executive leadership.
00:03:07.550 --> 00:03:09.240 Mira Brancu: What was your first job ever.
00:03:11.965 --> 00:03:37.500 Miki Feldman Simon: I started working when I was 13. And my, yeah, my first job was working in in Australia, in the market where they used to be. These markets that were open on the weekends and shops were not open on the weekends then, so there were lots of people would come. It was their only way of shopping, and I would get picked up at about 5 in the morning, and.
00:03:37.500 --> 00:03:39.539 Mira Brancu: Year old, working at 5 in the morning.
00:03:39.730 --> 00:04:01.849 Miki Feldman Simon: Yes, and I'm not a morning person and you know, get picked up in a van. We'd go and we'd set up the whole store, everything. It was clothing and sell. Stand up, sales things throughout the day, take everything whatever was left, and, take it all down at the end of the day, and it was hard work.
00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:07.520 Miki Feldman Simon: but good money for a 13 year old, and there's another little fun fact about it.
00:04:08.160 --> 00:04:13.549 Miki Feldman Simon: So I met my husband for the first time when I was 13 years old.
00:04:13.550 --> 00:04:13.960 Mira Brancu: No.
00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:22.179 Miki Feldman Simon: There yeah, once, but I was 13. He was 18. Sorry. It was like, I thought he was gorgeous. I was a little girl.
00:04:22.250 --> 00:04:25.669 Miki Feldman Simon: I'm thankful we met again 10 years later. So.
00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:28.539 Mira Brancu: That is absolutely wild.
00:04:28.590 --> 00:04:34.440 Mira Brancu: that is wild. Now, what led you as a 13 year old to decide? I need to work. I want to work.
00:04:36.023 --> 00:04:54.810 Miki Feldman Simon: You can say something after I needed to work. My we just immigrated to Australia for Israel with my family. We didn't have much money, and I wanted to have some spending money, so I had the basics. But if I wanted to buy a piece of clothing or something else I needed to have my own spending money.
00:04:54.820 --> 00:05:08.159 Miki Feldman Simon: So I worked, and that was my first job. Then I worked at a supermarket. I was what Australians called very chauvinistically a checkout chick for about 4 years after that as well. And that's how I financed my spending.
00:05:08.620 --> 00:05:19.229 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I could totally relate, as an immigrant myself to the Us. That if you know, we you know, had had what we needed. But if I wanted to
00:05:19.260 --> 00:05:24.530 Mira Brancu: get close or other things that I wanted specifically like, you know,
00:05:25.536 --> 00:05:33.510 Mira Brancu: in addition to sort of the basics I I wanted to make some money to be able to do that, so it can totally resonate
00:05:33.660 --> 00:05:34.315 Mira Brancu: now.
00:05:35.180 --> 00:05:36.890 Mira Brancu: Moving forward.
00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:49.180 Mira Brancu: Given the fact that you were in all of these various business leadership roles, and as an executive, what ultimately led you to decide? Executive coaching is my path. What? How did you get there?
00:05:50.010 --> 00:06:10.740 Miki Feldman Simon: So that goes a long way back as well. So I actually studied psychology and educational counseling for my undergrad degree. That was in Israel. I went back to live in Israel later on, and initially in your senior year you do a practicum and I was working with people who are mentally ill.
00:06:10.840 --> 00:06:14.689 Miki Feldman Simon: and it then it became very clear that I will not be a therapist.
00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:26.200 Miki Feldman Simon: I was taking in things too heavily was really impacting me. And I realized I didn't want to take responsibility for people's lives. And I feel like in some ways
00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:53.859 Miki Feldman Simon: I was searching for that way of helping people, but healthy people throughout my career, and people turned to me that whatever roles I was holding, people would turn to me for advice to mediate situations. I was always good at working at the root cause of situations, and at 1 point it was just like, this is what I was meant to be. It all clicked together.
00:06:54.210 --> 00:06:58.746 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I I feel like I I did a kind of
00:06:59.230 --> 00:07:05.359 Mira Brancu: roundabout path as well. And it was about like, I I knew people were
00:07:05.440 --> 00:07:09.140 Mira Brancu: drawn to me. Wanting
00:07:09.250 --> 00:07:16.923 Mira Brancu: support advice. A listening ear thought I was kind of reasonable objective all of those things. And
00:07:17.630 --> 00:07:26.510 Mira Brancu: because my first job was working with my first like sort of quote, unquote, real job was working with children.
00:07:26.861 --> 00:07:35.900 Mira Brancu: And I was really good at listening to children and supporting children, I started out as a school counselor, realized that was not quite the right career for me.
00:07:36.250 --> 00:07:40.869 Mira Brancu: and eventually moved to working with adults, and then eventually
00:07:41.407 --> 00:07:44.030 Mira Brancu: serving as a leader myself and
00:07:44.050 --> 00:07:46.340 Mira Brancu: realizing how much I enjoyed sort of
00:07:46.450 --> 00:07:58.018 Mira Brancu: developing myself as a leader, developing my teams. The people who were looking to me in a different way and then developing sort of like organizational outcomes. So that's kind of
00:07:58.630 --> 00:08:06.010 Mira Brancu: somewhat similar in in that, like you continue to tweak and tweak until you figure out where is my place?
00:08:06.030 --> 00:08:11.790 Mira Brancu: You know, with what I personally feel like I could best give to others right.
00:08:12.460 --> 00:08:23.619 Miki Feldman Simon: Resonate with that so much me around that I I would just I I love the way when you also said your self development, because I think that for me it's like my path of self development.
00:08:23.630 --> 00:08:30.989 Miki Feldman Simon: At 1 point I I wanted to help the others with that, and I saw that I could learn, and I could
00:08:31.620 --> 00:08:45.760 Miki Feldman Simon: take in and spend time on with the self help, the leadership development. I would just do that on my free time, because I really enjoyed it. And it was just like, yeah, I could do that full time as well. And yes, why not?
00:08:45.980 --> 00:08:48.068 Mira Brancu: Yeah, absolutely. So. Then
00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:49.970 Mira Brancu: given
00:08:51.040 --> 00:08:51.879 Mira Brancu: that.
00:08:52.210 --> 00:08:56.709 Mira Brancu: How did? How then, did you get to this point where you thought
00:08:57.150 --> 00:09:04.709 Mira Brancu: yes, I want to be an executive coach. This is where I feel like, you know, I want to. I I can give my best self.
00:09:04.900 --> 00:09:06.070 Mira Brancu: and
00:09:06.120 --> 00:09:12.410 Mira Brancu: the way that I want to show up as an executive coach. The way that I want to support leaders is
00:09:12.530 --> 00:09:20.810 Mira Brancu: to become the leader they aspired to be by developing this sort of like intentional, authentic
00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:24.859 Mira Brancu: presence and evaluating how? How that like? Why, that? Why.
00:09:25.523 --> 00:09:26.690 Mira Brancu: that focus.
00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:31.729 Miki Feldman Simon: So it's it's a great question mirror. I think that
00:09:31.750 --> 00:09:49.669 Miki Feldman Simon: it didn't start with that focus. But it started with working. I have also worked with women. By the way my coaching started with women and helping women return to the workforce, and I saw that I enjoyed more working with the executives, but it was more. I saw that there's a theme.
00:09:50.070 --> 00:10:03.890 Miki Feldman Simon: and that there was a theme to at the end, them really becoming the leader that they want to be for them to sort of deciding who it is that they want to be, and for them to be able to step into that.
00:10:03.920 --> 00:10:16.949 Miki Feldman Simon: And it was more. That process can lead you to being happier to becoming a better leader. To reaching your full potential.
00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:23.759 Miki Feldman Simon: So it wasn't that I started with that. It's sort of like I ended up there because I saw that that's
00:10:23.830 --> 00:10:30.060 Miki Feldman Simon: sort of the result that people were having, and that that was was that was meaningful for them as well.
00:10:30.500 --> 00:10:37.709 Mira Brancu: Yeah, what? What is meaningful for you in that in helping leaders become.
00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:43.110 Mira Brancu: they're, you know, not just meet their full potential, but like, become the leader that they want to be.
00:10:44.810 --> 00:10:56.159 Miki Feldman Simon: It. It probably starts with myself as well, and the process that I went through. So I grew up in a very chauvinistic household and I
00:10:57.311 --> 00:11:02.429 Miki Feldman Simon: my mom was not a confident person, and she did not stand up for herself.
00:11:02.912 --> 00:11:17.439 Miki Feldman Simon: My dad was in somewhat abusive, so I had 2 examples of who I did not want to be, and it was a long process in working out who I wanted to be, and I found
00:11:18.286 --> 00:11:19.619 Miki Feldman Simon: from peace
00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:20.995 Miki Feldman Simon: to
00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:30.070 Miki Feldman Simon: I was going to say enlightenment, and I don't usually speak in terms of enlightenment, but it just gave me it made me empowered
00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:36.509 Miki Feldman Simon: to do the things that I wanted to do, to find that path.
00:11:36.560 --> 00:11:47.169 Miki Feldman Simon: And then I saw that I really enjoyed when I helped other people do that, and I helped them thrive. It was like a a formula for thriving.
00:11:47.210 --> 00:11:50.919 Miki Feldman Simon: That's what we sort of at the end. It sort of came about.
00:11:51.500 --> 00:11:52.310 Mira Brancu: Yeah,
00:11:53.550 --> 00:11:55.550 Mira Brancu: and I can resonate
00:11:59.130 --> 00:12:01.119 Mira Brancu: it. There is something
00:12:01.230 --> 00:12:14.817 Mira Brancu: very liberating and empowering when you can, fully, when you know yourself well enough, and you're comfortable with that, and you could show up fully in that. Now I'm gonna
00:12:15.790 --> 00:12:19.422 Mira Brancu: I'm gonna play devil's advocate for a second. Here.
00:12:20.230 --> 00:12:20.640 Miki Feldman Simon: Carrot.
00:12:20.640 --> 00:12:21.250 Mira Brancu: What?
00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:24.800 Mira Brancu: What about leaders who
00:12:25.080 --> 00:12:27.549 Mira Brancu: might come to you
00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:28.710 Mira Brancu: saying.
00:12:29.220 --> 00:12:33.030 Mira Brancu: that they wanna be this kind of leader, but like.
00:12:33.530 --> 00:12:45.569 Mira Brancu: in fact, that kind of leader is Bullish and harms other people. Do you ever come across those narcissistic type leaders that, like you're feeling like
00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:54.531 Mira Brancu: Gosh! If they become more authentic in that space it actually will harm other people. Do you ever experience kind of that tension.
00:12:55.720 --> 00:13:04.339 Miki Feldman Simon: Look. It's a really good question, and I think I've asked myself what will happen in that situation. I'm thankful that I haven't been situation where I really thought.
00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:11.299 Miki Feldman Simon: this is the kind of person that I don't want to help. Sometimes you get people that are a bit extreme
00:13:11.470 --> 00:13:12.380 Miki Feldman Simon: bad
00:13:12.400 --> 00:13:39.610 Miki Feldman Simon: for me, it's going back to their values. Are they trying to make positive impact if their impact is negative, and I see that I am just going to help them create more. I have no interest, and I'll say, No, thank you. But I love carol Koff Kaufman, you know, who's an amazing executive coach. I heard her once say that we should help everybody, because at least maybe will help the people who work with that person.
00:13:39.903 --> 00:13:53.099 Miki Feldman Simon: I I think I'm thankful that I haven't been put in that like extreme situation. But I know my values. I think this is what comes back to. I know what I stand for and what I want to help, and what I don't.
00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:55.639 Miki Feldman Simon: and I can set those boundaries.
00:13:56.010 --> 00:14:03.180 Mira Brancu: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that it's more likely that people who come to coaching
00:14:03.240 --> 00:14:17.104 Mira Brancu: our growth, oriented folks who see gaps and opportunities. That means you're a bit more on the humble side. That means you're trying and caring about how you show up. It's more likely that that
00:14:17.520 --> 00:14:19.530 Mira Brancu: Then not that you?
00:14:19.983 --> 00:14:20.870 Mira Brancu: We'll get
00:14:21.276 --> 00:14:36.729 Mira Brancu: the the right folks who are interested in that formula for thriving. So we're reaching an add break when we come back. Let's get into that formula for thriving that you mentioned. What is the formula? Is there a strategy? Actually.
00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:49.630 Mira Brancu: you're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabu and our guest, Mickey Feldman Simon. We air on Tuesdays at 5 Pm. Eastern. If you would like to join our online audience right now
00:14:49.670 --> 00:14:56.430 Mira Brancu: and ask us questions that we can answer in real time. Here we are on a Tuesday at 5 Pm.
00:14:56.620 --> 00:15:03.089 Mira Brancu: And, we're happy to answer those questions. Otherwise you can find us on Linkedin
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:07.949 Mira Brancu: or Youtube at talk radio, Nyc, and we'll be right back with our guest in just a moment.
00:17:19.780 --> 00:17:36.310 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mirabu and our guests, Mickey Feldman Simon. Now I wanna get into this sort of formula for thriving idea and your core. Core. Framework. But before we do
00:17:37.582 --> 00:17:46.089 Mira Brancu: you talk about the framework in terms of how leaders can lead with more intention, authenticity, and integrity.
00:17:46.140 --> 00:17:58.720 Mira Brancu: which I think, unfortunately, these days have all become buzz words, right? They're thrown around all over the place. It's hard to connect with what they are. Why, they're important. Why, leaders would be leaning into them. So
00:17:59.198 --> 00:18:01.709 Mira Brancu: if you're connecting those ideas with
00:18:01.770 --> 00:18:05.249 Mira Brancu: thriving, with showing up as the leader that I want to be
00:18:05.430 --> 00:18:07.329 Mira Brancu: with making a positive impact.
00:18:07.390 --> 00:18:09.500 Mira Brancu: Why do those things matter?
00:18:09.850 --> 00:18:15.249 Mira Brancu: Why does intention, authenticity, integrity matter? What do they mean to you? How would you define them?
00:18:16.161 --> 00:18:25.678 Miki Feldman Simon: Okay, great questions. And I'm sort of trying to think of how do I? Tell you more about the framework? And where do I explain that? I think at the end of the day?
00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:27.310 Miki Feldman Simon: I.
00:18:28.270 --> 00:18:35.549 Miki Feldman Simon: When we live with intention, we design the life that we want. Okay, we take control.
00:18:35.560 --> 00:18:42.219 Miki Feldman Simon: It's like you're talking about strategic leadership. We lead ourselves first.
00:18:42.230 --> 00:18:55.199 Miki Feldman Simon: Okay? And and I'm I'm not trying to use the buzz words it. I think it's more like what you take out of it, and what you create. And you understand who you are.
00:18:55.480 --> 00:19:01.050 Miki Feldman Simon: how you can show up at you at your best where you're not, where you need to work on it more
00:19:01.280 --> 00:19:07.388 Miki Feldman Simon: and you really take control of your life when you treat it. If you think
00:19:08.280 --> 00:19:16.249 Miki Feldman Simon: people spend a lot of time in building a strategy for their business. Okay, they'll think about the threats, the opportunities.
00:19:17.990 --> 00:19:29.940 Miki Feldman Simon: and when they think of themselves. People don't often sit down and really plan their career, their life. Who they want to be as a leader is a person, strategically enough.
00:19:30.210 --> 00:19:32.009 Miki Feldman Simon: and the framework.
00:19:32.494 --> 00:19:48.660 Miki Feldman Simon: These 4 steps. That's what it can help people do. And at the end of the day, when you're stepping in and living according to your values. You're using your strengths. You're showing up with alignment.
00:19:48.720 --> 00:20:11.440 Miki Feldman Simon: You're going to be happier. You're going to be more feel fulfilled. You're gonna be less likely to look back in whatever amount of time, and say, Oh, that's not exactly what I wanted to do. I did want to spend more time with my family, or I ended up spending my life at work. So, instead of sort of looking backwards with regrets.
00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:19.750 Miki Feldman Simon: looking forward and setting an intention to who is that person that you want to be.
00:20:20.090 --> 00:20:23.200 Miki Feldman Simon: and so that you can live by your values
00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:27.260 Miki Feldman Simon: and make sure that it comes across that way as well.
00:20:27.660 --> 00:20:28.425 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:20:29.240 --> 00:20:32.850 Mira Brancu: I really like how you
00:20:34.490 --> 00:20:36.969 Mira Brancu: untrusted it with
00:20:37.060 --> 00:20:39.230 Mira Brancu: a strategic plan for a business
00:20:39.360 --> 00:20:40.740 Mira Brancu: right? Like,
00:20:42.690 --> 00:21:02.289 Mira Brancu: sometimes leaders don't realize that just because you have the strategic plan, and you've thought through. The, you know, you've done your market research, and you've you've done the market comparisons, and you've looked at the customer base and etc, etc, like as if the company is going to be
00:21:02.350 --> 00:21:10.760 Mira Brancu: successful just because of that beautiful, thoughtful plan that looks outwardly right. But companies are made of people.
00:21:10.950 --> 00:21:12.510 Mira Brancu: including you.
00:21:13.470 --> 00:21:15.879 Mira Brancu: and you have influence.
00:21:16.430 --> 00:21:21.570 Mira Brancu: right? And you can have influence in the negative way. If you don't realize
00:21:21.690 --> 00:21:26.169 Mira Brancu: what and how you're showing up right? Or you could have influence in a
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:30.824 Mira Brancu: incredibly positive, impactful way, which is what I heard you say right?
00:21:31.600 --> 00:21:36.090 Mira Brancu: If you're putting forth enough effort to reflect on what
00:21:36.120 --> 00:21:38.000 Mira Brancu: part of the outcomes
00:21:38.010 --> 00:21:39.659 Mira Brancu: have to do with me.
00:21:39.970 --> 00:21:41.790 Mira Brancu: And what does that mean
00:21:42.120 --> 00:21:43.190 Mira Brancu: for
00:21:43.330 --> 00:21:48.489 Mira Brancu: not just my business outcomes, but my own personal balance of how I wanna
00:21:48.630 --> 00:21:50.960 Mira Brancu: show up right and.
00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:51.560 Miki Feldman Simon: So I.
00:21:51.560 --> 00:21:56.670 Mira Brancu: In in that. I just wanna extract one word. I'm hearing the word responsibility.
00:21:56.760 --> 00:22:00.309 Mira Brancu: There's a responsibility to yourself and to others.
00:22:01.730 --> 00:22:29.149 Miki Feldman Simon: So I love that there's definitely responsibility. And I love the way that when you use to influence, because I see leadership as an opportunity to influence. And that I don't look at leadership from the authoritative kind of perspective, but that we can all have a leadership role. We we can be a leader in our family. In our school. We can be a leader in the workplace when we don't have that title, and
00:22:29.150 --> 00:22:38.570 Miki Feldman Simon: that leadership comes across in how we influence people and like you said in the positive or negative, and how we take responsibility for our actions
00:22:39.340 --> 00:22:56.420 Miki Feldman Simon: and when we, more intentional about it. And when we think through how we want to show up, there's more likelihood that that's what we're going to do. Cause if you think about like like you said with a company. So you said goals. And then you think through, what is that going to look like?
00:22:56.780 --> 00:23:00.200 Miki Feldman Simon: Often people don't really do that with themselves.
00:23:00.600 --> 00:23:01.460 Miki Feldman Simon: And
00:23:02.050 --> 00:23:09.230 Miki Feldman Simon: that's where the responsibility, accountability comes from. The reflection. All of that to really have a strategy.
00:23:09.850 --> 00:23:12.980 Miki Feldman Simon: How am I going to show up. How am I going to lead.
00:23:13.370 --> 00:23:13.800 Mira Brancu: I am still.
00:23:13.800 --> 00:23:14.980 Miki Feldman Simon: Am I going to leave.
00:23:15.350 --> 00:23:20.879 Mira Brancu: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So let's let's get into it. What is your framework
00:23:20.900 --> 00:23:28.090 Mira Brancu: for? How to apply basically strategic planning to ourselves so that we can be our best felt selves.
00:23:29.090 --> 00:23:34.169 Miki Feldman Simon: There's 4 steps, and it's called core, and the C stands for clarity.
00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:39.250 Miki Feldman Simon: So the goal is to gain clarity on your strengths.
00:23:39.670 --> 00:23:42.730 Miki Feldman Simon: on your values on your priorities.
00:23:42.770 --> 00:23:45.979 Miki Feldman Simon: and at the end of it you sort of have
00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:58.184 Miki Feldman Simon: like a statement, the thought on who you want to be. If you think about most of our life. People ask you, what do you want to be? But here you think about the who personally, professionally, if you noticed
00:23:58.530 --> 00:24:09.930 Miki Feldman Simon: I. I'm great believer. We bring our whole selves to work, and most of my clients say that the work has impacted them both personally and professionally.
00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:15.930 Miki Feldman Simon: Usually we bring this very similar, if not the same person, to work that we have at home.
00:24:16.260 --> 00:24:19.010 Miki Feldman Simon: So that's the C we gain the clarity.
00:24:19.020 --> 00:24:30.670 Miki Feldman Simon: The O. Is about operationalizing it. So this is where we're saying, Okay, if I want to spend time with my family, if I believe in women's rights.
00:24:30.700 --> 00:24:54.690 Miki Feldman Simon: what am I? How is that going to show up in what I do? Because often it's like, a goal without a plan is just a drain. So let's get concrete and actually think of the actions that will demonstrate those values. So we think about habits, and we look into habit stacking. So we we go deeper
00:24:54.890 --> 00:25:04.000 Miki Feldman Simon: and to understand. And the hour is for reflect. And this is where we really go deeper, because we try and understand how we get in our own way.
00:25:04.270 --> 00:25:06.890 Miki Feldman Simon: What limiting beliefs do we have?
00:25:08.560 --> 00:25:10.539 Miki Feldman Simon: what's our self talk like?
00:25:10.940 --> 00:25:20.579 Miki Feldman Simon: What happens in our mind? How do we get in our own way we take, we listen, we pay attention, we pause. Could we build our self awareness
00:25:21.040 --> 00:25:30.470 Miki Feldman Simon: and the ease for evaluate? And in and this is where we gain other people's perspective to understand
00:25:30.470 --> 00:25:56.360 Miki Feldman Simon: if our behaviors are showing up like we intended. So in my, in my executive coaching, it's often 3 60 interviews that we conduct to get feedback from people. But I teach people simple tools that they can use themselves immediately to gain that feedback on a regular basis so they can really understand
00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:07.519 Miki Feldman Simon: where things are not aligned. And that's why, if you think about it, there's the intention. We with the clarity, whatever we? We said in the intention we we think of the person that we want to be.
00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:13.400 Miki Feldman Simon: and the authenticity that alignment and the integrity of
00:26:13.600 --> 00:26:19.120 Miki Feldman Simon: am I walking the talk. Am I really showing up the way that I intended to.
00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:21.010 Mira Brancu: Yeah,
00:26:22.080 --> 00:26:23.020 Mira Brancu: eat.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:27.190 Mira Brancu: It seems like a simple.
00:26:27.580 --> 00:26:29.230 Mira Brancu: straightforward
00:26:29.280 --> 00:26:31.930 Mira Brancu: framework. And yet
00:26:32.220 --> 00:26:35.040 Mira Brancu: I say this often, these are
00:26:35.390 --> 00:26:38.640 Mira Brancu: very hard skills in reality
00:26:38.820 --> 00:26:40.400 Mira Brancu: to implement.
00:26:41.117 --> 00:26:44.099 Mira Brancu: Once you actually start thinking about
00:26:44.170 --> 00:26:50.960 Mira Brancu: all of the pieces that it takes to change a habit and change a behavior. Right? So
00:26:51.530 --> 00:26:53.330 Mira Brancu: let's get into
00:26:54.100 --> 00:27:11.909 Mira Brancu: like. What does it take right you already? Talked a little bit about evaluate like what what that looks like is you can do 300 sixty's to get feedback from people. You could also do like mini check ins to get, you know, feedback lots of informal tools to do that. Let's go back to Clarity.
00:27:14.560 --> 00:27:17.470 Mira Brancu: give me an example of like
00:27:17.995 --> 00:27:21.109 Mira Brancu: a leader that you worked with that
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:26.729 Mira Brancu: like really had some trouble with. Don't name names, but really had trouble with, like
00:27:26.760 --> 00:27:28.379 Mira Brancu: the clarity piece.
00:27:28.610 --> 00:27:30.880 Mira Brancu: and what it took
00:27:31.270 --> 00:27:32.295 Mira Brancu: to
00:27:33.330 --> 00:27:34.730 Mira Brancu: get to
00:27:34.900 --> 00:27:36.450 Mira Brancu: understanding.
00:27:36.931 --> 00:27:38.790 Mira Brancu: Who I want to be
00:27:38.970 --> 00:27:40.759 Mira Brancu: like? What does it take.
00:27:41.980 --> 00:28:03.090 Miki Feldman Simon: It's a great question. And by the way, Mira, it sometimes starts from different points. Okay? Because so we sometimes start with the evaluate. But we work through the values to make sure that if something comes up, how does that fit with your values? Is this something that's actually, that's important to you
00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:10.299 Miki Feldman Simon: and it's very interesting to see how different people sometimes struggle with different parts.
00:28:10.530 --> 00:28:13.109 Miki Feldman Simon: Some are very clear about their strengths.
00:28:13.330 --> 00:28:24.690 Miki Feldman Simon: some, when it comes to the values they have put so much effort. And I'm thinking of the the specific leader that has been extremely successful in his career.
00:28:25.560 --> 00:28:28.840 Miki Feldman Simon: knew his goals and everything for his work.
00:28:28.870 --> 00:28:30.960 Miki Feldman Simon: clear as you want.
00:28:31.030 --> 00:28:35.500 Miki Feldman Simon: but when he came to his values it took us
00:28:35.690 --> 00:28:46.468 Miki Feldman Simon: a few iterations of doing all different exercises, and I can recommend to people I love to give people tools I like to use. I should be sales,
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:53.989 Miki Feldman Simon: heroes exercise. You can reach out to me, I'll give you a copy or look it up. It's really under looking at your heroes
00:28:54.010 --> 00:29:05.480 Miki Feldman Simon: and seeing what you admire about them, to learn more about your values. There's lots of different values exercises online. So people can can can look at
00:29:05.520 --> 00:29:12.409 Miki Feldman Simon: and try and narrow it down. And the values. You know, it's interesting because our values change throughout our lives.
00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:20.860 Miki Feldman Simon: It's not the we gain a lot of them in our childhood, from our family, from the people around us.
00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:32.710 Miki Feldman Simon: But if we think about it especially, I think the pandemic taught all of us how an event like that caused a lot of people to suddenly sit back and reevaluate.
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:43.840 Miki Feldman Simon: What is it that that they need to? That's really important to them? So sometimes it's a life event like that. That sort of slaps you in the face if you want to think about it.
00:29:43.910 --> 00:29:44.940 Miki Feldman Simon: and
00:29:45.030 --> 00:29:47.262 Miki Feldman Simon: sometimes it just some
00:29:48.070 --> 00:30:05.729 Miki Feldman Simon: cognitive dissonance that you're starting to feel that something's not. Send me this discomfort of something not sitting right between that W. And where is it coming from? And when you start to dig deeper, and I know we're going into a break in a moment. So I'd love to give you an example of a little story of that.
00:30:05.730 --> 00:30:15.230 Mira Brancu: Yeah, absolutely. I think that's great. So let's get into the break. We'll be right back with the hard skills in just a moment, and hear a little bit more on this clarity piece.
00:32:17.070 --> 00:32:36.070 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Bronku and our guest today, Mickey Feldman Simon. She is talking with us about her core. CO. Re, framework. In helping leaders show up as the best leader that they can for themselves and others, and making a greater impact
00:32:36.120 --> 00:32:42.210 Mira Brancu: and the strategy behind it. And we were just talking about the C part, the clarity
00:32:42.802 --> 00:32:50.370 Mira Brancu: Mickey, you are starting to share a really interesting example of first examples about like
00:32:50.810 --> 00:32:59.659 Mira Brancu: how to notice the signs when something's a little bit off, or when you need to dig a little bit deeper in getting clarity around the values and strengths and things like that.
00:33:00.152 --> 00:33:02.689 Mira Brancu: Keep going with. With that example.
00:33:03.800 --> 00:33:20.410 Miki Feldman Simon: So I I'll give you a personal example first of all. So about a year ago I was visiting my son. He lives in Missoula, Montana, and they have it's this fancy sch fancy kind of supermarket called the good, the good food.
00:33:20.500 --> 00:33:29.405 Miki Feldman Simon: and I walked in there, and it was quoted to 11, and at 11 o'clock they stopped making breakfast sandwiches.
00:33:30.030 --> 00:33:42.419 Miki Feldman Simon: and we all have different dietary requirements. I'm the worst, and I walk into the buffet already made sandwiches. There's 4 of us, and I see this 4
00:33:42.510 --> 00:33:50.110 Miki Feldman Simon: sandwiches left that meet our requirements. There's a woman in front of me, and she's reading a bit of a sign. I grab the 4 sandwiches
00:33:50.900 --> 00:34:01.919 Miki Feldman Simon: of what I walk away. I pay. I did turn around, and I see that she she tries something else, and I got I got back. It was very happy. I got all of us out breakfast sandwiches.
00:34:02.540 --> 00:34:05.679 Miki Feldman Simon: but as I told my son about it.
00:34:06.100 --> 00:34:09.679 Miki Feldman Simon: Something wasn't sitting right for me. Okay?
00:34:09.900 --> 00:34:19.020 Miki Feldman Simon: And that's something stayed with me for a while, and I knew that it wasn't just this. Okay, you know, I I I should have asked whatever
00:34:19.429 --> 00:34:22.910 Miki Feldman Simon: when I really dug into it and dug into it myself.
00:34:23.270 --> 00:34:32.470 Miki Feldman Simon: So I've spent more than 20 years in my life, living in Israel at different times. There is a cultural value in Israel
00:34:32.560 --> 00:34:49.120 Miki Feldman Simon: that is around. That is a special word for this. It's called file, and there's no translation for it exactly in English. And what this word means it's being like a sucker. So it's somebody who gets taken advantage of.
00:34:49.489 --> 00:35:11.260 Miki Feldman Simon: And there is this value in Israel. And as I talked about with my Israeli friends, I said, Mickey, it's not just the a value. It's the number one value that you don't want to be taken advantage of, so don't be a fire. And with that mentality you don't think twice you go. You grab those sandwiches and you walk away right.
00:35:11.660 --> 00:35:14.450 Miki Feldman Simon: But that value no longer works for me.
00:35:14.490 --> 00:35:16.270 Miki Feldman Simon: I don't want to be
00:35:16.280 --> 00:35:17.540 Miki Feldman Simon: that person.
00:35:18.020 --> 00:35:19.140 Miki Feldman Simon: So
00:35:20.170 --> 00:35:21.290 Miki Feldman Simon: it is
00:35:22.580 --> 00:35:37.009 Miki Feldman Simon: creating that space for sitting with a discomfort and understanding where it is. And now that I know the value, I can tell you that I found myself, since in 2 situations where I could have acted in my old ways, but I did not.
00:35:37.020 --> 00:35:53.010 Miki Feldman Simon: because it was clear to me who it was that I wanted to be the kind of person that I wanted to be. Now a couple of examples with the leaders that I work with the clarity around their values and priorities.
00:35:53.407 --> 00:36:02.590 Miki Feldman Simon: That has helped them set boundaries, because suddenly I know what's important to me. I know what my priorities are much easier to sign up
00:36:02.950 --> 00:36:06.710 Miki Feldman Simon: for one of my clients who really struggled with delegation.
00:36:06.920 --> 00:36:21.739 Miki Feldman Simon: but when he connected it a value for him was to was self growth and helping other people grow when he suddenly saw that delegation can provide his employees with an opportunity for growth.
00:36:22.600 --> 00:36:24.250 Miki Feldman Simon: he started delegating
00:36:24.550 --> 00:36:29.309 Miki Feldman Simon: so could making that connection of like make. It's not making it deeper.
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:36.423 Miki Feldman Simon: Of what is it like? You're trying to do something that is important to your core.
00:36:36.890 --> 00:36:39.930 Miki Feldman Simon: and then it's much easier to do things.
00:36:40.822 --> 00:36:44.265 Miki Feldman Simon: I'll move on to the O to the operationalizing
00:36:45.030 --> 00:36:53.671 Mira Brancu: Before we move on to the end. I also want to sort of add, first of all, thank you for your your personal experience that is really interesting
00:36:54.470 --> 00:36:59.700 Mira Brancu: people who do not stop to wonder why they feel
00:36:59.720 --> 00:37:03.320 Mira Brancu: wrong off bad, misaligned tension.
00:37:03.540 --> 00:37:06.809 Mira Brancu: but instead do something to get rid of it
00:37:07.390 --> 00:37:10.160 Mira Brancu: will often harm other people
00:37:10.470 --> 00:37:11.640 Mira Brancu: when they do that
00:37:11.700 --> 00:37:13.150 Mira Brancu: or harm themselves.
00:37:13.549 --> 00:37:27.950 Mira Brancu: Because they're either like projecting onto other people, taking it out on other people ignoring something that's super important for themselves. You know it creates tension, anyway, so you might as well pay attention to it.
00:37:28.340 --> 00:37:34.507 Miki Feldman Simon: It's so true, I think it creates tension, and it will repeat yourself itself until you resolve it.
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:38.122 Mira Brancu: That's right. Okay, let's move on to the oh, I'm ready.
00:37:38.540 --> 00:37:47.579 Miki Feldman Simon: So the always about operationalizing it. So he, you really try and think what are going to be the behaviors that will show
00:37:48.020 --> 00:38:05.189 Miki Feldman Simon: these values, these priorities. What habits do I already have? What habits do I want to build? This is a concept of habit stacking. So, understanding that you. You already have a an existing habit. What can you stack onto it?
00:38:05.460 --> 00:38:06.620 Miki Feldman Simon: And
00:38:06.670 --> 00:38:10.440 Miki Feldman Simon: something that I found for myself? I wanted to
00:38:10.849 --> 00:38:35.679 Miki Feldman Simon: create more. The pause and a moment for me to reflect on what's going on for me. So I think a big Aha! Moment for me. My life has been that I can control my feelings and my thoughts and not have them control me. And if something upset me, how to not carry that on to the next interactions in my day. And I'm a big coffee drinker.
00:38:36.040 --> 00:38:50.649 Miki Feldman Simon: I go to my cupboard with mugs of coffee multiple times a day, and I noticed that sometimes I would go, and I would take my dark blue mug. Other times I would go to my beautiful flowery Marimco Mug.
00:38:50.720 --> 00:38:52.319 Miki Feldman Simon: and I'm like.
00:38:52.410 --> 00:39:05.970 Miki Feldman Simon: I pause. What's going on here? And I realized that if it was grey and rainy outside I would probably gravitate to that blue, dark blue mug that was a little bit depressing.
00:39:06.120 --> 00:39:12.070 Miki Feldman Simon: but I got into the habit of every time I went to that to grab a cup of coffee.
00:39:12.200 --> 00:39:18.529 Miki Feldman Simon: I now look at the cupboard. I see what I gravitate towards, and ask myself what's coming on.
00:39:18.750 --> 00:39:45.430 Miki Feldman Simon: and then I make a choice. It's raining outside. It's beautiful day here in Boston, by the way, but it may be raining, I'll say, well, it's raining outside, but I actually do wanna have a good day, and I'm not gonna let the weather affect me. And I am going to take a flowery cup on purpose because I want to create a bit of today. So I stacked this, pausing this reflection moment onto something that I was already doing.
00:39:45.430 --> 00:40:02.609 Miki Feldman Simon: So that's some sort of in the O operationalizing it. And, by the way, it's important to do it in advance, because sometimes you'll just think, yeah in the moment, in the moment we don't think in the moment, in the moment we sort of. We go back to what we'd already thought about. The Aries. Reflect.
00:40:03.060 --> 00:40:03.810 Miki Feldman Simon: oh, so what we.
00:40:03.810 --> 00:40:04.409 Mira Brancu: Get to the.
00:40:04.410 --> 00:40:04.830 Miki Feldman Simon: Yes.
00:40:05.510 --> 00:40:06.190 Mira Brancu: So
00:40:06.460 --> 00:40:09.150 Mira Brancu: this totally reminded me of
00:40:10.225 --> 00:40:12.920 Mira Brancu: the leader that I met with yesterday.
00:40:13.438 --> 00:40:18.510 Mira Brancu: She was dressed beautifully, and I was kind of Slubby, you know she's coming.
00:40:18.510 --> 00:40:19.640 Miki Feldman Simon: You never! Up.
00:40:19.640 --> 00:40:27.159 Mira Brancu: And and I was like, Oh, my gosh, you're you're dressed so nicely like I should have dressed up for you, you know, and she's like, no, no, no, you don't understand.
00:40:28.086 --> 00:40:36.819 Mira Brancu: It's Monday. I had a rough weekend. I like drag myself out of bed. This is me setting the intention
00:40:37.060 --> 00:40:39.900 Mira Brancu: to get into
00:40:40.070 --> 00:40:48.120 Mira Brancu: like a more positive, strong mode, where my my clothes will influence
00:40:48.200 --> 00:40:49.939 Mira Brancu: my ability to
00:40:50.340 --> 00:41:00.499 Mira Brancu: be the be there as the leader I want to be. It said, how I actually feel. I was like, Okay, yeah, that makes a lot of sense is like that. That mug analogy that you shared.
00:41:01.010 --> 00:41:15.550 Miki Feldman Simon: Yeah. And I'm so with her on the close, because I feel that my close also like for me makes me feel better. It puts me in a certain mood, and I put thought into it as well. Good for her, for the awareness.
00:41:15.550 --> 00:41:18.400 Mira Brancu: Yeah, alright. Let's get into the R.
00:41:18.610 --> 00:41:39.169 Miki Feldman Simon: They are. Reflect. So here we go a little bit deeper, and we really try and understand, like limiting beliefs that people have so limiting beliefs of these beliefs that basically most of us, we acquire them when we up until the age of 7.
00:41:39.250 --> 00:42:01.010 Miki Feldman Simon: And it's just these bits of information that we take from the environment. But we don't have the tools to really to evaluate them. So we take them as truths, and they stay with us, so we keep could be that in your house. Maybe our money was tight. You'll have a limiting belief around money around whether this jobs out there all different things.
00:42:01.010 --> 00:42:10.259 Miki Feldman Simon: And we try and understand how that's holding you back. So the whole idea here is to really understand how you get in your own way. What? What's your self talk telling you?
00:42:10.370 --> 00:42:34.020 Miki Feldman Simon: How do we listen to it? Use some cognitive psychology tools to to overcome them? Overcoming foster syndrome with you both. We both work with a lot of women. And to give them tools to change those. So we we going into some of the underlying things to really make more transformational change as well.
00:42:34.350 --> 00:42:34.870 Mira Brancu: Yeah, I.
00:42:34.870 --> 00:42:35.450 Miki Feldman Simon: The e.
00:42:35.450 --> 00:42:37.935 Mira Brancu: Especially like that, just to sort of
00:42:39.750 --> 00:42:42.120 Mira Brancu: put a finer point on
00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:47.500 Mira Brancu: the fact that our limiting beliefs do often come
00:42:47.740 --> 00:42:48.930 Mira Brancu: when.
00:42:49.640 --> 00:42:59.829 Mira Brancu: at a time when we don't have the skills or coping mechanisms or knowledge to recognize that they're creating limiting beliefs within us.
00:42:59.900 --> 00:43:05.220 Mira Brancu: And they can come from lots of environmental factors that are outside of us.
00:43:05.350 --> 00:43:08.690 Mira Brancu: And for women especially, that could be
00:43:09.643 --> 00:43:11.130 Mira Brancu: sexist remarks.
00:43:11.628 --> 00:43:32.640 Mira Brancu: You know, stereotyping discrimination. For lots of people of marginalized backgrounds. That is the experience. And so, you know, we're not saying that the limiting beliefs that coaches work on are to fix people, but rather to unlearn the harmful
00:43:33.174 --> 00:43:44.200 Mira Brancu: and unhelpful messages, and relearn and reconnect back to who you really are before those messages got to you to help help basically hold you back
00:43:44.360 --> 00:43:46.780 Mira Brancu: right? So that reflection
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:50.660 Mira Brancu: is critical to separating yourself
00:43:50.850 --> 00:43:59.110 Mira Brancu: from the unhelpful messages around you and recognizing who are you? Truly the the beautiful person at your core
00:43:59.180 --> 00:44:02.320 Mira Brancu: before those those limiting beliefs, right.
00:44:02.320 --> 00:44:12.724 Miki Feldman Simon: Yeah, exactly. A lot of reframing there. Of how can we see things differently? What can be the opportunities rather than just saying sort of the obstacles
00:44:13.110 --> 00:44:32.940 Miki Feldman Simon: and seeing things from the perspective of the person you are now as well, because sometimes we sort of stuck in some one we were, or the environment from 10 years ago, from 20 years ago as a kid, and really evaluating it from fresh eyes of you today.
00:44:33.300 --> 00:44:42.290 Mira Brancu: Absolutely. Yeah. So let's go into our ad break again, and when we come back we'll close it back
00:44:42.420 --> 00:44:45.560 Mira Brancu: up with the E evaluating.
00:44:45.700 --> 00:45:05.700 Mira Brancu: You're listening to the hard skills with me, Dr. Mira Branco and our guest, Mickey Feldman Simon. We air on Tuesdays at 5 Pm. If you'd like to join us online with our online audience and ask any questions you're welcome to right now. Otherwise find us on Linkedin or Youtube at talk radio, Nyc, and we'll be right back with just a moment.
00:47:09.080 --> 00:47:14.639 Mira Brancu: Welcome back to the hard skills with me, Mira Branku and our guest, Mickey Feldman Simon
00:47:14.670 --> 00:47:36.000 Mira Brancu: Alright Nikki. We have gone through each of the areas of your framework. CORE. Clarity operationalize reflecting. Evaluate. We started with evaluate. But we're gonna end with evaluate again. To get a little bit more in depth about like, what does it look like? Why do we do it? What are the risks of not doing it?
00:47:37.240 --> 00:47:39.869 Miki Feldman Simon: Okay. And first, I love the music to your podcast.
00:47:40.500 --> 00:47:41.130 Mira Brancu: Yeah.
00:47:41.130 --> 00:47:59.979 Miki Feldman Simon: And dancing every time. So, okay, so evaluate is increasing yourself. Awareness from another perspective. Sorry we, you know we increase yourself awareness by digging, by understanding your limiting beliefs. You values all of that. But
00:48:00.160 --> 00:48:27.110 Miki Feldman Simon: there are areas where other people what's called a Johari windows where other people know exactly where you should develop what you're doing, but you're not aware of them. So the idea here is that you gain their feedback, and you also see if what your intended behaviors are really coming across that way. And I'm gonna give you an example of one of my clients. Ellen and I change the names of all of my clients right? So
00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:28.240 Miki Feldman Simon: Ellen
00:48:28.730 --> 00:48:44.369 Miki Feldman Simon: Ellen perceived herself as a really caring manager. She really loves her team, and when she, when I did 3 16 interviews. The one of the first things that the people said is, she doesn't care about us.
00:48:44.770 --> 00:48:46.489 Miki Feldman Simon: And she was shocked.
00:48:46.770 --> 00:49:00.490 Miki Feldman Simon: She she seriously, just never saw that coming. So what happened was that when I had a personal issue, any kind of issue come up, she'd be the first to call them and say, What can I take off your plate
00:49:00.720 --> 00:49:02.450 Miki Feldman Simon: in her eyes
00:49:02.460 --> 00:49:06.760 Miki Feldman Simon: as their manager? That was the best way that she could help them
00:49:06.790 --> 00:49:09.830 Miki Feldman Simon: in their eyes mostly cared about also work.
00:49:10.950 --> 00:49:15.789 Miki Feldman Simon: So that is an example where she had the best of intentions.
00:49:15.850 --> 00:49:19.330 Miki Feldman Simon: But that's not how it was interpreted by the other side.
00:49:20.031 --> 00:49:31.280 Miki Feldman Simon: I don't. You know. They have lots of other examples, but we'll keep it. That really is important to me here in the evaluate is to is a couple of party.
00:49:31.780 --> 00:49:52.570 Miki Feldman Simon: If you state that you values that this is what you stand for, and then your actions don't match. It's in some ways the worst thing that you can do because you're creating lack of trust. Okay? Then it's not that you don't have values, but you're alive. Basically, okay. So
00:49:53.230 --> 00:50:16.350 Miki Feldman Simon: really, getting that understanding of how you show up is really important. And there are 2 questions that I'd love to share with the audience that they can do, if that not everybody can do. 3 confidential, 3, 60 interviews, the first one Marshall Goldsmith, our mentor at the 100 conscious coaches. Conference taught us, and that is, how can I be a better?
00:50:16.570 --> 00:50:23.279 Miki Feldman Simon: And it can be partner? It can be manager. And when we all did them and asked this question.
00:50:23.570 --> 00:50:25.800 Miki Feldman Simon: the person next to me said.
00:50:26.310 --> 00:50:31.799 Miki Feldman Simon: Wow, I really don't understand. My husband said I should be more affectionate
00:50:32.060 --> 00:50:37.339 Miki Feldman Simon: like. He's so affectionate to me, hugs me all the time. And then she went.
00:50:37.460 --> 00:50:38.630 Miki Feldman Simon: Oh.
00:50:38.650 --> 00:50:47.600 Miki Feldman Simon: because she realized what her part in things were, and you mentioned responsibility in the beginning. So really understanding more. What is your part
00:50:47.620 --> 00:50:49.210 Miki Feldman Simon: in a situation?
00:50:49.400 --> 00:51:00.500 Miki Feldman Simon: Somebody else? Yeah. Got asked. If they want excel or word. My husband told me he'd like me to laugh more, because I'm quite a serious person.
00:51:00.730 --> 00:51:02.310 Miki Feldman Simon: And one person.
00:51:03.410 --> 00:51:07.279 Miki Feldman Simon: they said, Let's talk when you get home, and that saves their marriage.
00:51:07.640 --> 00:51:16.259 Miki Feldman Simon: So that is a really simple question. And I also give my client this one other question that you can always ask, and that is.
00:51:16.300 --> 00:51:18.420 Miki Feldman Simon: what can I do? More.
00:51:18.650 --> 00:51:31.060 Miki Feldman Simon: less, all. What can I stop or start doing? And if you get into the habit of asking people those those questions, you're also creating an environment that is open
00:51:31.400 --> 00:51:35.060 Miki Feldman Simon: to grow is that we are not perfect. We are all
00:51:35.240 --> 00:51:37.160 Miki Feldman Simon: a project in the working.
00:51:37.330 --> 00:51:38.910 Miki Feldman Simon: And you're creating that
00:51:39.470 --> 00:51:44.280 Miki Feldman Simon: an environment and psychological safety where people can provide feedback
00:51:44.610 --> 00:51:48.829 Miki Feldman Simon: and really work from there and
00:51:49.080 --> 00:51:53.690 Miki Feldman Simon: understand and embrace this process of
00:51:53.790 --> 00:51:58.839 Miki Feldman Simon: becoming that leader that you want to be becoming a better person becoming a bit of manager.
00:51:59.870 --> 00:52:01.560 Mira Brancu: Yeah, absolutely. I.
00:52:02.172 --> 00:52:05.410 Mira Brancu: I think it's really important to just
00:52:05.590 --> 00:52:08.456 Mira Brancu: again highlight the fact that
00:52:09.480 --> 00:52:16.220 Mira Brancu: what is obvious to us and what we see in ourselves is not obvious to other people. Necessarily.
00:52:16.300 --> 00:52:17.929 Mira Brancu: we need to check that out
00:52:18.060 --> 00:52:18.819 Mira Brancu: and
00:52:19.720 --> 00:52:24.969 Mira Brancu: there are when you said about the Johari window, and that other people see things that we don't.
00:52:25.220 --> 00:52:27.700 Mira Brancu: Even though our bias is
00:52:28.138 --> 00:52:33.900 Mira Brancu: it's clear to others. It's obvious that's a bias that's a cognitive bias. All humans have it.
00:52:34.100 --> 00:52:38.999 Mira Brancu: And just think about how many leaders you thought about to yourself.
00:52:41.210 --> 00:52:45.070 Mira Brancu: that you're like, why can't they see this? This is so annoying.
00:52:45.580 --> 00:52:52.875 Mira Brancu: It's the same thing to you. Right? Same thing is happening when other people are looking to you and
00:52:53.370 --> 00:53:04.869 Mira Brancu: the best thing like I'm gonna just add on to the questions that you asked the 3 60 s. That you can do in order to make sure that people recognize or hearing them. After you've asked for. The feedback
00:53:05.310 --> 00:53:31.480 Mira Brancu: is this is another kind of Marshall gosmithing right, Mickey, the feed forward? It's asking as you go along. Can you look at how I'm doing with this thing now that I'm gonna try to sort of improve it and give me some you know, reactions. Am I doing well? Am I, you know? Do I need to sort of adjust along the way? So they're sort of like walking with you. They've got now buy in and investment, and they're watching you try to improve.
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:36.829 Miki Feldman Simon: Oh, I'm so glad you mentioned that, Amira, because
00:53:37.060 --> 00:54:01.809 Miki Feldman Simon: that I see is a big part of the process as well, because this continual back and forth. Of how am I doing? What advice would you give me? That's the like. The feed forward. Can also, you can help build. Bring people along, then, with the progress that you're making because they may see you. Somebody doesn't delegate, but you keep on coming back, and you're asking them.
00:54:01.810 --> 00:54:14.980 Miki Feldman Simon: How am I doing with the delegation? What what advice would you give me? You're helping them see the progress that you're making? And now you're helping them perceive you in a different way. That is a big, important part of it, as well.
00:54:15.370 --> 00:54:31.879 Mira Brancu: Absolutely absolutely okay. I'm sure people are curious to dig in even more. Share with us. Where can they go to your work. I have your website up here. Let's start there. What will they find? On your website?
00:54:32.780 --> 00:54:49.450 Miki Feldman Simon: You can learn more about me on my website, Nikki Feldman Simon, about my executive coaching about the speaking and workshops. And I have to say that I have not added the call framework to my to my website yet. So you're hearing about.
00:54:49.450 --> 00:54:50.000 Mira Brancu: The of.
00:54:50.451 --> 00:55:10.310 Miki Feldman Simon: First, not yet, and on Linkedin you can go to my Linkedin, and you can sign up for my newsletter. And I'll be very happy to stay in touch. If anybody has any questions. If they want the it resells
00:55:10.440 --> 00:55:14.099 Miki Feldman Simon: values exercise. I'd be more than happy to share that with them.
00:55:14.610 --> 00:55:26.340 Mira Brancu: Excellent, excellent! Thank you for your generous, generous willingness to share more and answer questions. Now, listeners, what did you take away.
00:55:26.850 --> 00:55:38.180 Mira Brancu: There's so many golden nuggets. We're curious to learn what you took away. More importantly, what is one small change you are willing and interested in trying this week, based on what you learned from Mickey.
00:55:38.410 --> 00:55:46.149 Mira Brancu: Share it with us on Linkedin. She and I both live there on online social media. Right? Linkedin, share it with us there, so we could share you on
00:55:46.510 --> 00:55:51.800 Mira Brancu: Talkradio, Nyc. Is also on Facebook, Instagram Twitter Twitch all over the place.
00:55:52.150 --> 00:56:06.890 Mira Brancu: and we also, later on, will post this as a podcast on apple, podcast and spotify, go subscribe to the podcast leave a review, share with others to help with our visibility, reach and impact
00:56:07.410 --> 00:56:26.280 Mira Brancu: the stuff that we talk about on the show is part of our research based strategic leadership, pathway model as well. We teach that in our Towerscope Leadership Academy, a private coaching and learning community for socially conscious leaders in healthcare, academia, tech and stem industries. Looking to make a greater impact.
00:56:26.290 --> 00:56:32.169 Mira Brancu: you can check us out@gotowerscope.com, and click on Leadership Academy.
00:56:32.540 --> 00:56:35.749 Mira Brancu: Thank you to Talkradio, dot Nyc. For hosting.
00:56:35.830 --> 00:56:49.159 Mira Brancu: I am Dr. Mira Branco, your host of the hard Skills show. And thank you for joining us today. Mickey Bellman Simon, we're super appreciative of all of your golden nuggets that you shared with us today.
00:56:50.230 --> 00:56:53.939 Miki Feldman Simon: Thank you, Mira. I really appreciate being here. A real pleasure.
00:56:53.940 --> 00:57:00.950 Mira Brancu: Absolutely, absolutely. So. Have a great rest of your day wherever you're tuning in from, and we look forward to connecting with you after the show.
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